a n t h o l o g y
by SasuSaku Forever and Ever
Summary: Today, after several months of begging, Sasuke bought Sakura a cat. However, that cat had gotten into the walls of the house, so they literally have to tear apart the building to get it out. FML.
1. History Class

**dedicated to: **the oh-so-awesomesauces rhyrhy, romeaynce, veroxion, &&naru-vampire. ily all. FERSERIOUS, BISHES.  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com. fantastisk by rhyrhy. READ IT NOW.  
**rating: **M (WITH THE HELP OF RHYRHY. xD)  
**story: **(...hopefully 100 different sasusaku drabbles. xD)

**note: **i've decided to try a different type of formatting. cuz i mean, you know, why not? all of these are thanks to those poor people in FML. ferserious. and, uhm. well. it's in first person. and i hate writing in first person. so, yeah. xD  
**FML o1: **a girl on the website fell asleep in history class, and began moaning her teacher's name in her sleep.

**summary: **o1: I just _had _to fall asleep in History class. And moan my (sexy) substitute teacher's name. In front of everyone. FML. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo1.  
****by  
****SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-)**

-

**H**_i_s**t**_o_r**y **_C_l**a**_s_s

-

Ugh.

I am stuck here. At school. In a room. With, like, _twenty _other people. And to make it worse, I'm in History.

_History_.

It used to be called Social Studies, but when Naruto-_baka _began talking uncontrollably, sensei said, "SHUT UP," and the retard retaliated with, "But if it's _Social _Studies, why not socialize?"

Kakashi-sensei sighed, shook his head, and put down his X-rated book full of pornographic drawings.

Are those even allowed in school?

Anyway.

Kakashi then said to the idiot, "If you talk in Social Studies, you're history, Uzumaki."

So now we call it History.

Thanks to this retard my best friend just-so-happens to have a crush on.

...What does she see in him anyway?

WELL. TODAY.

Kakashi-sensei told us his wife, Shizune, was pregnant by three months. Pregnant! I never knew the fella had it in him. Still. Ish.

(I mean, if he keeps reading those books, you'd assume he was bad at sex. But PREGNANT.)

Either that, or she just had a sperm shot. Or cheated on him.

But she wouldn't do that.

So. Sensei has to stay at home with her. To, like, make sure she's okay and shit. That's good, because he was a bum anyway. Dumbass teacher. Ferserious.

...But he just _had _to tell us we were getting a substitute.

Pop! Goes the happy balloon in my body.

(Not the one I swallowed when I was six. I thought I would float if I digested it. Shut up; I can dream.)

And he _just _so happens to be four years older than us.

A twenty-one year old college graduate teaching us. For, like. Six months.

Whoop-de-_freakin'-_do.

-

-

-

Like, the day Kakashi-sensei left, the sub came in.

And, well, I don't want to admit it, but he was pretty hot.

(Okay, _really _hot. But probably a jerk. Considering his looks. Cuz, I mean, lots of good-looking guys are jerks. Or gay.)

The graduate went up to the front of the room, his hand running through his black, chicken-ass hair.

At that moment, I thought a chicken's ass was pretty sexy. Because of him.

His dark eyes stared right at us. He locked eyes with me, and then, because I was nervous, turned away.

"Uchiha Sasuke," he said, his voice deep and seductive without trying.

"Is that your name?" Naruto squinted, standing up as if to see the substitute better.

We all laughed, but Sasuke didn't.

"Hn."

He turned and looked at the notes Kakashi-sensei gave him.

I think I was starting to blush. But it wasn't that big of a deal. Cuz, like, half the girls were either blushing, too, having a massive nosebleed, or knocked out cold by his beauty.

RRGH.

I hate this guy already.

-

-

-

It was about a month since Uchiha-_sensei _came to replace Kakashi.

He was smart, I'll admit. Like, really smart.

And, well, he was nice to stare at. During classes. And after tests.

But I hate him.

I don't know why, but I hate him. A lot.

Even if he is sexy.

And as he passed by all off us, giving us our latest History tests, I gaped at my score.

No, it wasn't 100, as I would usually get.

No, it wasn't in the high _or _low 90's.

Or even the eighties.

I got a freakin' _forty-eight._

I screamed, and everyone stared at me. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong, Sakura-san?"

I began hyperventilating. "I GOT A FUCKING FORTY EIGHT!"

Everyone began guffawing, and Sasuke smirked.

"Read more carefully, Haruno. And watch the language. It isn't Language Arts," he said in his smexilicious voice, and continued to hand out the rest of the tests.

Oh.

_Oh._

OH.

...Forty-eight out of fifty.

Yeah. I'm smart.

Hehe...

-

-

-

Bleh. Uchiha-sensei...ugh. _Sasuke, _continued teaching us. And it felt like forever.

I'd rather have Kakashi back.

Ugh.

It was the second month. And the daily regimen continued: Say as little as possible, let us do some random in-class shit, and then collect it.

And I was so bored...

Well. I fell asleep.

And began dreaming of him.

Doing things to me.

Sexy, X-rated things. Like the things in Icha Icha Paradise.

(...Not that I've read it.)

-

-

-

"Sasuke-kun...not there, ohh, (pant), kyaaa! Harder...faster, AAH!" I screamed, my eyes closed, and I was sucked up in my dream.

I heard snickering.

But it wasn't Sasuke's.

I woke up, seeing that everyone was looking at me.

...Holy.

Fucking.

_Shit_.

I was having a _sex _dream about the sub. That I hate. But is sexy.

And I saw him smirk. I FREAKING SAW HIM SMIRK.

FML. Ferserious.

I don't know what it was, but I was just about ready to cry and run out of the room. And, like, never show my face again.

(Hinata, can I borrow a paper bag from your room?)

-

-

-

Ugh. Yesterday was _so _embarrassing. And Hinata didn't have any paper bags. Everyone started laughing at me in the hallways. So, uhm. As I went to the History room, I sat in the very back so no one would see me and buried my face in my hands.

So after his lesson (he didn't bother to tell off people for staring at me), when everyone left, I packed up my books and was about to leave, too.

"Sakura."

I heard him call my name, and began shaking.

"Y-Yes?"

Damnit. I can't control my freakin' voice. Holy fuck.

"Come here," he said. I dropped my books on the floor and nervously shuffled to his desk.

"What?" I said, kinda rudely. Er. Yeah.

Rising from his computer chair, he looked down into my eyes.

I breathed heavily, slightly embarrassed from our distance. Like. We were three fucking inches away.

THREE.

3. As in, like, the number THREE.

And inches.

So before I could say something else again, he _grabbed _my shoulders and kissed me.

He kissed me _full _on the lips. Like, he grabbed the back of my head so he could bring my face closer to his. Nibbling on my lip, I opened my mouth to say something, but he took advantage of it and stuck his tongue in my mouth.

Our tongues, like, had tongue sex.

Mad, wild, HOT tongue sex.

He broke apart to tell me something.

"You don't know how hard it was for me to abstain from you these two months...two long, fucking months, Sakura," he breathed out, stroking my cheeks.

"I--" I began.

He crashed his lips on mine again, and I pushed him away.

"What if we--er, you get caught? And, Uchiha-sensei, I'm late for--"

He snarled. "Don't call me that."

"I--" I started again.

He held me by the wrist and led me to the door. He shut it, and locked it. "Now are you happy?" he said, his face in the crook of my neck. He licked it, using his tongue.

Ugh. He was so skilled with his tongue.

But I still hated him.

...Kinda.

He brought me back to his desk, and pinned me down. He stared into my eyes. Again.

"You're so fucking _beautiful," _he breathed as he licked his lips.

I was helpless.

Freaking helpless.

...With a really hot guy (who just so happens to be my sub) on top of me.

He kissed me again, and his hand made its way to unbuttoning my school blouse.

I "mmphed!" and tried to push him off of me. "Stop--mmph!" I began.

He stared at my chest (that had grown. A lot. I WAS STARTING TO THINK PUBERTY HATED ME!) and smirked.

I wanted to cover myself, but then I forgot.

My wrists were pinned by his hand.

So, I just let him ogle me. Even though I'd hurt him. Soon after.

But, let's just continue with the sexy part.

Using one hand (_still_), it rested on my thigh and slowly made its way up towards my hip.

And he removed my skirt.

So basically. I was clad in nothing but my underwear.

(He seemed to like it.)

Then, _finally, _he removed his own clothing. And, well. The rest of mine. So I was embarrassed.

Really _freaking _embarrassed. And late. For Calculus.

But, well. I have needs. NEEDS THAT NEED TO BE SATISFIED, DAMNIT. I AM A WOMAN.

So Sasuke-kun pulled a drawer out from his desk and took out a condom.

I raised an eyebrow and wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with his hair.

"You just...keep condoms in your drawer?" I said, confused.

"I was waiting for the moment to do it with you," he replies as he kisses me again.

I was on Cloud nine.

(Or ten, for that matter.)

He thrusted into me, and I squealed, grabbing his shoulders.

"It's okay," he murmured, kissing my neck. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No!" I screamed as I begged him to continue. My nails dug into his back and he slightly winced. He continued his pace, until I shrieked, "Sasuke-kun, faster...harder, deeper!"

...I hope the walls weren't too thin.

And so it was.

I lost my virginity to a really sexy substitute teacher on top of his desk.

And I didn't really hate him anymore.

Actually, I think I kinda liked him. A lot. A _lot, a lot._

Which basically translates to: I'M IN FREAKING LOVE, BITCH! in Sakura language.

(Not that I'd tell him anytime soon.)

Shannaro. Ftw.

-

-

-

We continued our relationship in secrecy. Like, everyday I would stay after school to have some fun-time with Sasuke-kun.

He is _so _sexy. And romantic, too. He buys me gifts and takes me places. And then he kisses me. And we make out for a long time. And then have hot, wild, crazy animal sex somewhere. Anywhere. We even tried it in the shower.

Aah. He's so sweet.

But one time, I had to go home and work on my homework, and he was texting me NONSTOP with dirty messages.

...Mobile sex.

He's good. In any way of the sex-language.

And so I got horny. During homework.

The homework he assigned me.

Basically. I gave up on it and talked to him for three hours.

If he fails me tomorrow, god damnit, I'm not gonna kiss him.

Ugh.

It should be illegal how sexy he is.

* * *

He's leaving.

It's been four months since we started dating, and he's leaving.

Because his time of teaching was over, and then Kakashi-pervert comes back.

So after everyone left class, I slowly walked up towards him, shuffling my feet and taking baby-steps. My head was down, because I didn't want him to see me cry.

(He hates it when I cry.)

"S-Sasuke-kun," I choke out. Ugh. My voice isn't steady either.

He looks up at me, stopping what he was doing. He left his suitcase door open, but put his textbook on the table next to it.

"Sakura," he says back, walking towards me.

I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, no _way _am I gonna cry...

Okay. Maybe a tear or two.

He grabs my shoulders gently and tilts my chin up to look at him.

Damnit.

Slowly, he puts his arms around me and whispers in my ear, "These have been the best times of my life, Sakura."

Cue the sniffing. Ugh.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he says, and his voice slightly breaks down.

I nod in his chest, crying.

"I love you," he murmurs, cupping my face and kissing my lips tenderly.

I breath heavily. Did he just say what I thought he said?

No. Freaking. Way.

"I-I love you too, Sasuke-kun," I choke out, and he grabs my hands and intertwines our fingers.

"I'm going to visit you as much as possible, Sakura, and I'll keep in touch with you every day, and--"

I interrupt him as I tiptoe to kiss him, my hands in his dark, ebony hair and his around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

Oh, Sasuke-kun.

You do know how to make a girl happy.

-

-

-

Kakashi-pervert was back. And Shizune brought in her baby.

Sasuke-kun and I still see each other. Everyday. Like, sometimes, when I'm sleeping, he opens my window and sleeps with me.

Kinda stalkerish, but still. Sweet.

He's so adorable. I absolutely love him.

He's like, the perfect boyfriend.

Anyway.

Even though I hate Kakashi-pervert, I'm just glad that he knocked up his wife.

Or else my only boyfriend would've been Lee.

And I don't even like Lee. Yeah.

And I don't really hate Sasuke-kun. Well, only when he tries to wake me up because he wants sex, but other than that, no.

Everything's...well, kinda back to normal.

Oh, did I mention that I saw an ring with a cherry blossom petal on it in a dark red leather box that had the name "Sakura" inscribed on it in his drawer where he keeps his condoms for us having sex?

No?

Hm. I wonder what it's for.

* * *

**LMAO. like. barely any lemon. xD but still. yeahhh.**

**i love fmylife(dot)com. it's so hilarious. cuz, like, i have so many crack prompts to work with now, i'll never get bored.**

**sasuke as the teacher and sakura as the student in fanfictions are always sexy. so fucking sexy. so freaking fucking sexy.**

**ferserious.**

**ugh. i hate writing in first person but, like...idk. yeah. anyway. NINETY-NINE MORE TO GO.**

**(hopefully i actually finish it. unlike other stories. xD)**

**r&r, plawks. ilyyy~!**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	2. Persuasion

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy && romeaynce (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble two. sasuke's POV. xD  
**FML o2:** Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML (arsewipe92)

**note: **rhyrhy is helping me write the lemon. so give her some credit. now. x3

**summary: **Finally, after many persuasive conversations, she let me in her pants. Everything went perfect until I realized she never told me that she was allergic to latex. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo2.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-)**

**-**

**P**_e_r**s**_u_a**s**_i_o**n**

-

Haruno Sakura.

She was _so fucking annoying_.

...Because she makes me love her.

The long, too-bright pink hair.

The sparkling emerald eyes.

The nice, model-like figure.

The freaking euphoric personality.

The "holy-shit!" temper.

And just about everything, damnit.

I noticed it a year ago, so by then, we've gotten together.

(It was obvious that she liked me.)

I take her out, almost every day.

Her father doesn't approve of this. Che. Such a retard, hn.

But her mom is far from her husband's opinion. She, like, loves me.

Then again, who doesn't?

Oh yeah.

Her dad.

The first time we went out, I took her to a movie, and her dad thought I would rape her, so he had to come along, damnit.

And _I _had to pay for his ticket.

...The fuck?

And he had to choose the movie. Sakura wanted to see the Grudge with me, but he was like, "NO! SAKURA-HIME! YOU CANNOT TAINT YOUR VIRGIN EYES! I WILL NOT LET THIS RAPIST HURT YOU! LET'S CHOOSE THIS ONE!"

...He pointed to a G rated movie.

Actually, I think it was less than G rated.

I'm pretty sure it was the Hannah Montana movie.

So Sakura and I started wincing and we were about ready to kill ourselves during the whole movie.

And we were gonna kill ourselves together when Sakura's father began singing "The Best of Both Worlds."

But, well, on the way home, she pushed me in an alley and kissed me.

Then I pushed _her _to the wall, switching our positions, and Frenched her.

Hn, Sakura.

Can you rig an erection?

-

-

-

I saw the girl waiting at the door for me to pick her up. Smirking, I kissed her hand, and she giggled.

"You're so cheesy, Sasuke-kun," she laughed.

"Hn," I smirked back, and held my arm out for her to link hers in.

Then, I turned to face her, and held her hands in mine.

"You look beautiful, Sakura," I whispered, leaning in to kiss her. She tiptoed, ready to kiss me back.

As our lips were only _millimeters _away, her fucking dad had to come and ruin it.

So I spent half our date running away from him.

...Isn't it illegal to chase your daughter's boyfriend with a crowbar?

No?

How about if the crowbar's on fire?

-

-

-

"I'm sorry," I muttered, holding Sakura's hand, settling her down in the restaurant chair.

Sakura simply smiled. "It's okay; it's my fault. My father can be rather...well, he has problems. I'm his only child, and I'm a girl, so...you know."

I chuckled, sitting across from her, holding her hand from across the table.

"You're not a girl," I said. Her temper was starting. "_Excuse me, _Sasuke?"

No -kun. Shit.

I quickly finished, "You're a woman, Sakura. A beautiful one," I smirked, and leaned over to kiss her.

She leaned in too, and, ugh, it just so happens that my sleeve caught on fire from the candle that was lit.

This is _so _going to ruin my reputation.

And Uchihas _never _have their reputation ruined.

-

-

-

We left early, and Sakura began crying.

God, I hate when she cries.

"Sasuke-kun, are you sure you're okay?" she sobbed, clutching my arm.

"I'm alright...just the sleeve," I muttered, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

Sakura pouted. "I'll pay for your suit, it looks expensive, I--"

I pressed a finger to her lips.

"Shut up."

And I finally kissed her.

Those cherry-red lips that were just _aching _to be kissed the whole night.

Her arms were around my neck, and she pressed herself closer to my body. I placed my hands on her hips and grinded against her.

She broke apart and smiled, patting my shoulders and spacing herself from me.

"You can try masturbating, Sasuke-kun. I'm not gonna let you get in my pants anytime soon."

And as I saw her walk away, I inwardly punched myself.

I should've known she could feel my erection against her.

-

-

-

I couldn't handle it. I was on my bed, clutching my painfully swollen crotch.

I unzipped my pants zipper, and rolled around as if to help it.

Groaning, I took off my shirt; it was hot, and the air conditioning was broken. I then removed my pants, and lied in my bed, the blankets under me.

I thought about what Sakura said.

_"You can try masturbating, Sasuke-kun. I'm not gonna let you get in my pants anytime soon."_

I reached for my cell phone, and texted her.

"Sakura. I'm hot, horny, and naked in bed. Why don't you come here and help me relieve me of my horniness?"

I pushed the send button. Would she be happy, sad, angry, curious...?

Two minutes later, I received a response.

"You have fingers, Sasuke-kun. Use them. Love always, Sakura. xoxo"

...Fuck.

-

-

-

Knock. Knock.

I woke up, rubbing my eyes. I put on black jeans, left my shirt on the bed, and opened the door.

Sakura stared at me, slightly blushing. I smirked. "Like what you see?"

She rolled her eyes. "Arrogant bastard," she said, kissing me on the lips, her hands sliding down my chest.

"So why are you here?" I asked, breaking the kiss.

She pouted. "I can't visit my boyfriend? Awwh, Sasuke-kun. I'm hurt," she faked, her hand over her heart.

I chuckled and pulled her close to me.

"What do you want for breakfast?" she smiled in my chest.

-

-

-

Shit. I didn't have an apron to put on her. So, like, it would be really sexy. If she cooked me breakfast in only an apron.

And nothing else.

I was getting hard, but luckily, she didn't notice.

"Do you want your tomatoes fried, Sasuke-kun?" she asked in that oh-so-sweet voice of hers.

"Hn."

She laughed. Music to my (sexy) ears.

After about five to ten minutes, she placed the dish in front of me and cuddled against me.

I took a bite of the tomato she cooked and kissed her lips.

-

-

-

I finished the dish, and stroked her hair.

"Sakura," I said, my voice serious. She stared up at me.

"Hm?" she asked, fiddling with my fingers.

I sighed. How was the best way to say this?

"Why won't you make love to me?" I said, my eyes slightly hurt.

Her mouth formed a small 'o.'

"I--I, uhm. My father told me to save myself for marriage, but my mother said it didn't matter, as long as...well. We use a condom. But, uhm, I have to side with my father on this," she said, shaking nervously.

"We'll be safe, Sakura," I said, my head in her hair, pulling her closer to me.

"I, uhm. I just think that, well...just, Sasuke-kun, if you really love me, you'd understand."

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Okay."

-

-

-

I left for work, Sakura staying home and helping me clean my house.

Japanese Starbucks suck.

You know, like a lot of things that are American are good. Sometimes.

So, when Japan and shit tries to imitate them, it doesn't turn out well.

Except when a female customer ogles me and flirts with me, even though I tell them that I'm taken, I make their coffee and then spit in it.

Then I realize that they drank my saliva, and part of me is in them.

Because of that, I have my co-worker Rock Lee (that bastard who tried to steal Sakura from me) spit in it.

I feel better when the girl drinks it and then pukes.

-

-

-

I sighed. It was a long day, too many girls, and Lee used all his saliva to spit in all of them.

So much vomit.

Luckily, Shikamaru cleaned it up. Lazy ass.

(He deserves it.)

I used my key to open the door to my house, and I called out Sakura's name.

"Sasuke-kun."

I turned to see where she was, and my eyes nearly popped out of my sexy head.

She was naked, covered with only my black dress-shirt.

It was long for her, reaching down to mid-thigh.

She walked towards me, pressing herself against me. Her arms were around my neck, and her hands tangled themselves in my hair. She kissed me, and I kissed her back passionately.

Sakura could obviously feel that I was getting harder than hard.

I placed my hands on her shoulders, slowly and seductively trailing them down from her back, to her waist, hesitating on her hips, then reaching the edge of my shirt.

I couldn't handle myself anymore. I placed one hand on her back, and kept the other on her thigh. Carrying her bridal style, I could see the outline of her breasts through the shirt, her nipples sticking out.

Gently, I placed her on my bed and began stripping myself of my own clothing.

She blushed furiously, and I smirked. "So do you like--"

"Yes," she interrupted, and she pulled me down. I used my hands and unbuttoned the shirt, and stared at her goddess-like figure.

"So do _you _like what you see?" she asked, with another smirk.

"Yes," I replied back, burying my face in the valley of her breasts, my hands cupping them.

My member nearly touched her womanhood. "Be right back," I said, getting a condom. She sat there, a blanket covering her body, her eyes wide with...worry?

"I got it," I said, putting it on.

"No--! Sasu--" she began, but I started thrusting into her, and her nails dug into my back. I winced, and she screamed out--pleasure or pain?

"Sasuke-kun!" she screeched, and I pulled out of her.

Raising an eyebrow, I said, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

She began breathing oddly; like she was short of breath. "I'm itchy, Sasuke-kun," she whispered.

"What happened?" I asked. "Did I--"

With a quick breath, she responded, "I forgot to tell you I'm allergic to latex."

And she fainted.

-

-

-

I cradled her naked body next to mine, sighing heavily as we were just about to have our loving moments.

Her eyes fluttered open, and I smirked.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

She yawned, rubbing her eyes and buried her face in my chest. "It's still night."

I stroked her hair.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I muttered, my lips on her forehead.

She regained her breath. "I thought you wouldn't love me anymore," she said, her eyes watering.

I kissed her tears away. "I wouldn't ever stop loving you."

She looked at me, and I immediately felt something inside my body tingle.

"Will you be my child's father?" she whispered, her hands in my hair.

I took a moment to realize what she just said. "What?"

She smiled, and said, "Take it off."

I was utterly confused.

"You mean...unprotected sex?" I asked, tickling her chin.

She rolled her eyes. "What did you think I meant? Buy another brand of condoms that _aren't _latex?" she laughed.

My eyebrows furrowed. "..._Yeah..._"

"Alright then, you choose, Sasuke-kun," she said, and hormones kicked in. I stripped myself of the condom and pushed her down onto my bed again quite roughly.

She stared at my eyes, and my hands gripped her wrists.

I didn't care what her father would think after we were done.

All that mattered was us making love to each other.

-

-

-

Sakura and I continued to have sex, at least twice a week. But, me being rather persuasive, I bought non-latex condoms. She pouted (ugh.) at me, and yes, I have to admit it isn't as good as our first time.

She patted my shoulders, and was behind me, her hands covering my eyes.

"Guess who?" she said in her melodious voice.

"Sakura?" I said, smirking.

"No," she muttered, her mouth next to my ear, nibbling the lobe.

My eyes widened. "You mean you're--"

"Yes."

I picked her up and she squealed, and I smiled--a real smile.

I hugged her tight to me, and we both laughed.

"I want a girl that looks like you," I said. She pursed her lips.

"I want boy that looks like you, Sasuke-kun. And I don't want him to have pink hair like me," she sneered, twirling her hair in disgust.

I bent my head down to kiss her, and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

Now, we would have to tell Father Haruno.

-

-

-

"You're _WHAT_?!" Father Haruno screamed, his eyes popping out of his sockets.

Ugh. I knew he wouldn't have handled this well.

Mother Haruno came and tried to calm him down. "Gomen, Sasuke-san. But I think it's wonderful!"

Father Haruno stared at his wife. "He should be the one saying sorry to _us_!"

I wrapped my arm around Sakura's shoulders.

"Tou-san, it was my fault," she said, unaffected by her father.

Looks like we know where her temper came from.

"No way would my precious hime would let this filthy bastard fuck you! He probably paid you to say that! I mean, he does have a lot of cash! He is an Uchiha, and ALL UCHIHAS HAVE HERPES. YOU'RE INFECTED WITH HERPES, SAKURA-CHAN! HERPESSS!"

I was offended, and so was Sakura.

"He does _not _have herpes, tou-san. And yes, I did let him make love to me. He did not pay me, damnit! Why can't you understand why I love Sasuke-kun like you love kaa-san?"

He calmed down slightly.

"I--I..."

Sakura smirked, outwitting her father. "Mmhm."

"HE HAS **AIDS**!" he screeched, and he was coming at me like a wild animal.

"Fuckin' hell," I muttered as I began running away from Father Haruno.

He had just gotten the crowbar out of the closet and lit it on fire.

* * *

**uhm. okay. i didnt really like this a lot. seriously. ugh.**

**and rhyrhy is at school right now. so im lonely and i have no one to talk to.**

**dedicated to romeaynce, aka jess. cuz she's so fucking awesomesauce. ily, always!**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	3. Foreplay

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy && romeaynce (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com/FAMILY GUY: Prick Up Your Ears  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble three. third person. noncrack.  
**FML oo3:** My boyfriend's idea of foreplay is pushing my breasts together and making them talk.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary: **NON-CRACK CHAPTER. oo3: Sasuke's idea of foreplay is pushing Sakura's breasts together and making them talk. FML. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo3.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-)**

**-**

**F**_o_r**e**_p_l**a**_y_

-

"Sure. Sex is fun. But you can't have it before marriage, _even _if you use a condom. Because not only do condoms fail 100% of the time, they are also _majorly _unsafe. Hey, you wouldn't put a plastic bag over your grandmother's head, would you?"

Sasuke wrapped his arm around Sakura, who was currently cuddling into him. He reached for the remote, causing a temporary chill, and turned the TV off.

"Kurenai assigned a gay assignment to watch," he muttered, burying his head in the pinkette's hair. "We've made love, with and without a condom."

She cuddled closer to him. "You're lucky I'm not pregnant. You and your hormones, Sasuke-kun."

He licked her forehead with his tongue, and she shivered under the cold flicks.

"I know," he whispered, his voice husky. His tongue casually licked in her ear, and his hair tickled her cheek. He bit her earlobe, and she squeaked.

Sasuke smirked, and he trailed his hands from her shoulders down to her breasts.

Sakura breathed heavily, making her chest rise up and down. He closed his eyes, and rested his head against her left breast.

"I feel your heartbeat," he whispered, his fingers slowly tickling her body as he traced them downwards. They stopped at her hands, and intertwined them.

He was now on top of her, and he daintily kissed each finger.

"All of these are mine," he breathed out. Her chest continued to heave, and her hair was sprawled out on the bed. He leaned down, capturing her lips in a loving way, the kind of kiss a man gives his wife at their wedding.

"_You _are _mine. Only mine_," he said, breaking their kiss, and before she could say anything back, he crashed his mouth onto hers, his tongue mingling. "You taste good," he muttered, through the lip-lock.

She unbuttoned his white dress shirt, and continued until she reached his pants.

"No, not this time," he muttered. She raised an eyebrow, and broke apart for air. He did not like this, and he forced her back into the tongue-raping.

His hands found his way to her zipper, and he pulled it down, revealing two large creamy globes _begging _to be touched. The cold touch of his fingers made her moan.

"Do that again," he commanded, and he pushed her dress-straps down, reaching under her to unclasp her bra, and _slowly _(but _seductively_) dragged the straps down her shoulders, with only the cups covering her inner beauty.

"I--" she began.

He broke the kiss, and she was finally able to breathe. "We're doing foreplay tonight," he said, panting heavily.

"What kind?" she asked back, her arms covering her chest.

He grabbed her arms and smirked. "You're not embarrassed, are you? I have seen you naked plenty of times."

She blushed and turned her head. "Shut up."

He placed his hands over her large mounds, and he grabbed the cups and stripped her of her black bra.

"I've always told you I like you better in black," he muttered, her nipples between his index and middle finger. His lips trailed down her neck, and she moaned, her hands in his hair.

Sasuke's lips wrapped around the bud, and he licked it with his cold tongue. She continued moaning. He kneaded the other twin with his free hand, and she arched her back, becoming wet.

He switched for the other breast's treatment, and sat up, his hand resting on the headboard of the bed.

Sakura, too, sat up and covered her wet chest with his blanket. "Is something wrong, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke placed his hands on her chest, taking the blanket away from her, and pushed her mounds together. "My name is Haruno Sakura," he said, playing with her right breast. She sweatdropped. "W-What are you doing...?"

He licked her left bud. "Uchiha Sasuke," he muttered, still pushing her breasts together. His mouth trailed down to her bellybutton, and he licked around the hole.

Something hit her, and a vein popped. "Sasuke-kun, are you making my breasts talk?"

Sasuke looked up at her with hungry eyes. "My idea of foreplay is pushing your breasts together and making them talk."

Sakura sighed. "Are you serious, Sasuke-kun?"

He smirked, and leaned up to kiss her lips. Then, he moved down to her globes again.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said back, the right breast being raised and it spilled out of his hand as he pinched the bud.

"I could say the same for you," Sakura smiled, being Sasuke now. He smirked. "My idea of foreplay. My rules. And my talking."

She pouted. "It's my body."

"Your beautiful one, yes, but like I said--you're my property. Your forehead says so."

She shrieked. "Sasuke-kun! I told you not to make fun of my forehead!" she said hurtfully, slightly playfully.

"And I told you that I liked it," Sasuke smirked, sitting up to kiss it.

"Continue the foreplay, Sasuke-kun," Sakura sighed, tired of the argument. She played with his hair as he continued to make her breasts converse.

-

-

-

Right breast, aka; Sakura, was currently "talking." And left breast, aka; Sasuke, was currently "listening." As the two would usually do.

Sakura was tired of this shit. When would they have _real _sex? All he's done for the past two hours was re-enact on how they met.

She wasn't listening to the conversation, as she continued to become wet from what he would do to her after he finished fondling her swollen breasts.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun," he imitated mockingly, his breath cold on her wet mound.

"Hn," he responded with the left one.

Sakura was angry. Now he was just mocking her. "Do you think this is some joke? I'm just your sex toy? Do you _really _think I'm like one of your stripper stalkers? Screw you, Sasuke," she screamed as she grabbed her clothes and began running out.

"Sakura, wait," Sasuke shouted as he ran to follow her.

He hated seeing her cry.

"All those times were just you getting your daily dose of pleasure," she sobbed out. "Do you do this with every girl you meet?"

Sasuke grabbed her wrist and pinned her to the wall.

"Let me go," she whispered, tears streaming down her face.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I didn't mean it that way."

"Sure you didn't," she choked out.

"I didn't," he responded, kissing her jaw. She slapped him with her free hand.

"Don't touch me!" she screeched.

Sasuke sighed. "Sakura, please be quiet."

She ignored this, and began to scream. He winced at the sound, and placed his hand over her mouth.

"You could be filed for rape," she breathed out, prying his hand off.

"Don't take this so seriously, Sakura. Damnit, can't you fucking under_stand_?" he nearly shouted.

Her clothes were still disheveled, and her face was caked with dried tears.

"Understand what? That you were using me? That all our times of making love were actually just having sex?"

He sighed, and his head was in the crook of her neck. He intertwined his fingers with hers.

"You don't understand that I love you."

The words echoed through her mind.

_You don't understand that I love you._

_You don't understand that I love you._

_You don't understand that _**I love you.**

"Prove it to me, Sasuke-kun," she breathed out, her body less tense.

"I will," he whispered, and he leaned in to kiss her lips, even better than the kind of bond at the wedding.

The sort of kiss of a very elderly couple gives each other, knowing that they would soon die, but being reunited in heaven.

The sort of kiss that seals that special bond forever.

The sort of kiss--

(Fuck. I'm rambling again.)

She put her hand on his neck, and the other on his chest, and began kissing back. Soon, it became more rough, more needing, more passionate...

"Is that not enough?" he breathed out.

She was frozen at her current state, with both hands on his chest now.

"Wait here, and don't you even try to leave, Sa-ku-ra," he smirked, kissing her nose.

He walked back into his room, and Sakura could hear many things: closets opening, drawers opening, curses, water running...

Walking out, she saw Sasuke with his hair slightly slicked from water. Running a hand through it, she saw a slight bulge in his pant-pocket.

"What is it?" she asked, licking her lips anxiously.

He did the unthinkable.

The unthinkable for a _twenty-year-old man._

A fucking _twenty-year-old man, _who was more interested in partying, alcohol, friends, and getting laid, was doing something that wasn't in the book of Rules for an Adolescent Man.

He kneeled down on one knee and held out a black leather box.

"Will you marry me?"

She began to cry again, her face in her hands.

"Is there something wrong? Did I go too fast?" Sasuke said, his voice full of worry, holding her shoulders and shaking her slightly.

She flung her arms around his neck. "No, no, I'm happy, Sasuke-kun. You've made me happy beyond words. And I agree fully," she squealed, her face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her petite waist and slid the ring up to its designated finger.

"Uchiha Sakura is a sexy name," he smirked, kissing the top of her forehead.

"I think so too," she smiled, his bare chest warm against her.

"We should try this foreplay more often, my U-chi-ha bride," he said, twirling her hair, smirking.

Sakura looked up at him. "I think I should try _my _kind of foreplay."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "And that is?"

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know...playing with your testicles and making them fuck each other senseless."

"But I will get to make love to you, hn?" Sasuke smirked, kissing her lips.

She smiled. "Of course, Sasuke-kun. And no condoms this time."

* * *

**idk. non cracky. like, it was hard to write since i'm all crack. and a challenge. so, yeah. i think i make sasuke propose to sakura too much in my fics.**

**but w/e. WE NEED THE LOVE.**

**because we all know sasuke's gonna come back and marry sakura--not only for clan restoration, but LOVEEEEEE.**

**LOVE, DAMNIT.**

**LOVING LOVE.**

**the kind of love that's ONLY between sasuke and sakura.**

**so yeah. r&r, plawks.**

**love, the computer whore,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	4. Of Proposals and Pirannhas

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy && romeaynce (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com/Me being scared of fishes...unless they're cooked with no eyes.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble four. sakura's POV.  
**FML oo4:** My boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo with a ring pop. He was serious. FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary: **Sasuke-kun freakin' _proposed_ to me at the aquarium. With a ring pop. He was serious. FML.

* * *

**.oo4.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-)**

**-**

_O_f** P**_r_o**p**_o_s**a**_l_s **a**_n_d **P**_i_r**a**_n_n**a**_h_s

-

Sasuke-kun is _so _romantic. (And sexy, but that's not the point.)

He just KNOWS where to take me, where I want to go, how I'm feeling, how he can cheer me up...

Needless to say, he's the freakin' perfect boyfriend any girl could ever have.

I'm serious.

(I mean, that penis is really long. And pleasurable. Aah.)

Anyway, today he was taking me somewhere.

Somewhere SPECIAL.

Somewhere that he said I would _love. _Even more than him.

(I doubt there's a place, but whatever. Haha.)

So he brought me to his motorcycle, I sat in the back, holding him, and, well...laughing at other girls' jealousy at red lights.

And flipping them off.

(Yes, even a police officer, who was too busy ogling MY boyfriend. Damn her.)

He told me to close my eyes and he would tell me when we got there.

Normally, I don't trust a guy (even if he's uber hot, and my boyfriend) to tell me to close my eyes while holding onto him when he's driving a motorcycle, but it's Sasuke, so...

Yeah.

-

-

-

"Open your eyes," he commanded. And as I did, I nearly fainted.

An aquarium.

A freakin' _aquarium_.

...He KNOWS I have paskaphobia. I'm so scared of fish. _Especially_ pirannhas.

Unless they're cooked. Like, any fish which is cooked. And no eyes are visible. Ewwh.

Seeing the expression on my (lovely) face, he smirked.

"Hn," he said, with that devilish facial expression of his that made me want to jump him.

JUMP HIM, BITCH.

He took my hand and led me in, and, well, I received death glares from many girls. WHO WERE WITH THEIR OWN BOYFRIENDS.

...Sigh.

I'm gonna be mauled. Ferserious.

-

-

-

Sasuke-kun paid for the tickets, even though I made a big scene of having ME pay the tickets. Or just leave and go somewhere else. Like...LIKE, UHM. Playing Strip Poker with him and his best friend Naruto!

(...FYI, Naruto has a GINORMOUS crush on me. And can't wait to see me naked. But only Sasuke-kun can.)

Yeah. But he paid them anyway, and then, in the middle of the room, while EVERYONE was watching me throw a temper at him, he kissed me.

...I told you he was romantic, but NOOOO. You didn't listen, cuz, well, you're...you're just...YOU.

While some people "awwhed," other people said "DIE BITCH, DIE!" and others just walked by, Sasuke-kun intertwined his fingers with mine and led me to the first place.

Was this torture or something? Cuz, like...fishies scare me.

A lot.

A freakin' lot.

-

-

-

I began trying to cover my eyes the whole time, but Sasuke-kun wouldn't allow it.

"Stop," he commanded, and I simply wanted to _faint_--partly of the fish, and partly because his voice was just SO sexy.

He pried my fingers off of my eyes and told me to look at the glass, where lots of fishies were there. Swimming. And looking scary.

Sasuke-kun put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn't scream, but hey, the scream came anyway.

He sighed, apologizing to everyone for my "rude" behavior.

Hmph.

-

-

-

"OHMYGAWSH THERE'S A SHARK SASUKE-KUN!" I shrieked, jumping into his arms. "I'M SCARED!"

Luckily I didn't wet myself. I usually would.

"It's fine, Sakura. It's in glass, see?"

He held me up to the glass, supported my body with one hand, and tapped the glass with another.

I was hyperventilating.

GET ME OUT OF HERE, NOW.

"See, Sakura? It's fine."

"ARE YOU SURE?" I said, rather...well. Not-Sakura-like. "ARE YOU SURE IT WON'T POP OUT OF THE GLASS AND KILL US ALL?"

He rolled his eyes and kissed my forehead, placing me down on the ground again.

"You and your imagination, Sakura."

Sasuke-kun continued to walk, and I followed him, trying to catch up.

-

-

-

"Look, Sakura. It's a penguin. Not a fish," Sasuke pointed out, an arm around my shoulders.

"Well, why would a penguin be in an aquarium?" I asked, my head tilted to the right.

(He always thought that was cute.)

Sasuke shook his head. "I have no idea, Sakura."

I smiled, giggling and kissed his cheek.

"Mm," he said back.

-

-

-

A pirannha.

A fucking pirannha.

"I'M GONNA DIE!" I screeched, and on the other side of the world, a massive earthquake came and scored a twelve on the Richtor Scale.

That's how freaking awesomesauce my voice is.

Anyway, I spazzed. Like crazy. "I'M BLEEDING! OHMYGAWSH, SASUKE-KUN! MY FINGER IS BLEEDING! I'M GONNA DIE AND BE NINE FINGERS AND A BIG FOREHEAD GIRL. Save me!" I shrieked.

You know, Sasuke was just about to give up.

"Sakura, calm down," he muttered, a hand over my mouth. I licked his palm with my tongue, and he released it, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Damnit, Sakura."

So, he kissed me.

In front of everyone.

And said earthquake on the other side of the world stopped and everything that was destroyed was fixed.

I kissed back.

He was so romantic.

...But pirannhas were still behind me, wanting to eat my finger off.

MY FINGER, DUDE.

MY FREAKIN' FINGER. THE ONE I USE TO MASTURBATE. AND TO TOUCH SASUKE-KUN.

My Sasuke-kun. And finger.

-

-

-

"Sasuke-kun, why did you bring me here? You _know _I have paskaphobia."

Sasuke said back, "I felt like it," and ran his hand (the one that, well, fondled me. And, uhm. Knows what my...liquids taste like...if you catch my drift.) through his sexy hair (the amazing hair I put my hands in when he thrusts into me.).

"But...but why?" I pouted.

"Hn."

...Ugh.

Okay, Sasuke isn't so romantic after all, damnit.

...Most of the time.

-

-

-

He forced me to the gift shop, and really, I wanted to get out. He likes to buy stuff for me, even though I tell him not to.

Uchihas never listen.

Well, to me.

...He bought me a live goldfish.

And I screamed, brought it to the bathroom, and flushed Goldie down the toilet.

That's how scared I am.

...He was laughing, not caring that I basically flushed, like ten bucks down the toilet. But his weekly allowance is ten million yen, so. It means nothing to him.

Damn him and his money.

-

-

-

By the time we got out, he made me visit the pirannhas again.

RRGH.

Fuck.

But he made me look at it for a whole minute.

IT WAS HELL.

No, worse than hell. By a lot. SO MUCH.

He told me he would give me a special present if I stared at those (ugly, killer things) fishes.

It better be "Get Sakura out of here before she pukes all over the place. Or pukes more than she already did."

But no.

...I managed to stare at those things for _no, _not thirty seconds, _no, _not fifty-nine seconds, and _no, _not a minute, but _a minute and one second._

_Sixty-one freaking seconds._

Now let's get outta here.

He grabbed my wrist before I could escape.

Which equals: MAKING ME LOOK AT THE SHARKS.

Fuck. Kill me now.

(Not the pirannhas.)

-

-

-

Sasuke did the unthinkable.

He got down on one knee and pulled something out of his pocket.

I thought,"Oh, Kami..."

And he pulled out the object.

It was a fucking RING POP.

A strawberry ring pop.

(My favorite, but really, that's not the point.)

"Will you marry me?" he said, smirking and grabbing my hand.

I looked for any signs of joking, teasing, Sasuke-like behavior...

...He was serious.

-

-

-

Everyone was staring at us, and he continued to wait patiently on one knee for my response.

"You've got to be kidding, Sasuke-kun," I said, slightly nervous at all the attention we were getting.

"I'm not."

Oh, fuck me now.

(Preferably you, Sasuke-kun. WHEN YOU GET ME A REAL RING.)

I gave in.

"Alright, whatever. Yes," I sighed, and he slid the candy ring onto my finger.

Few people clapped, but he remained on one knee.

"What now?" I asked, rather rudely.

He placed the empty wrapper in the pocket and pulled out something else.

"Will you marry me with this?" he asked, a dark red leather box opening with a beautiful diamond ring on it.

I began to cry.

Not like, tears streaming down my face.

I mean, BAWLING.

That type of crying.

And I shrieked my answer.

So as the real ring was put on my finger, I kissed him. And, well.

Pirannhas became my new favorite animal.

Ferserious.

* * *

**lmao. i always make sasuke propose to sakura in all my fics.**

**hahahahahahaha. that's why i suck. big time. NO COMMENTS, DAMNIT.**

**so. r&r? xD**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	5. Playlists

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy && romeaynce (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble five. sasuke's POV. ooc Sasuke.  
**FML oo5: **Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. I put on her iTunes songs. It began as "Your Body is a Wonderland," but was on random so the next one was "Rape Me" by Nirvana. I finished anyway. FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary: **OOC Sasuke. Today, I made love with Sakura, while putting on her iTunes playlist. The song played "Your Body is a Wonderland," but then moved to "Rape Me" by Nirvana. I finished anyway. FML.

* * *

**.oo5.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**P**_l_a**y**_l_i**s**_t_s

-

So what can I say?

I'm Uchiha Sasuke--hot, horny, and...well, think of another word that starts with H that describes my beautiful sexiness.

(Yes, it just so happens I like to admire my reflection for long periods of time in the mirror.)

Uchiha Sasuke pwns all.

Including you, dobe.

(No one likes you anyway. Except Heewantah. Or whatever.)

And, well.

Haruno Sakura is the lucky girlfriend of the one and only _moi_.

All of you girls (Karin. Ewwh.) need to go FUCK OFF and GET A LIFE (Karin.).

Because this smexilicious body is taken.

Smirk.

(Cue the faints.)

-

-

-

So, as I was walking awesomely (I mean, I am sexy, and, well...sexy men like me get to do catwalks. On the sidewalk. 'Cause we're just awesomesauce like that.) down the street, my hands in my pockets, my shoulders slumped, I walked (trudged) towards said beautiful girlfriend's house.

Which was too bright.

I told her, "Damnit, Sakura, if we're gonna get married, you have to listen to me. Because, like, I'm the owner of the penis."

And she slapped me and told me I needed to get that five foot pole out of my ass.

(I don't know if she means the literal one that we used for sex. But whatever. It's lodged in there, and, well...hasn't come out yet.)

Then she told me I was a retard. But--

Sakura told me I was a _sexy _retard.

So it's all good.

-

-

-

As I knocked the door with my head (I mean, it's the only sensible thing to do. What do you want me to do, use my knuckles? Damnit, that'll hurt! So it's always better to use your head. Especially if it's a sexy head.), she opened it, knowing that each muffly sound and "FUCK" was coming from this sexy voice, from the awesomesauce mouth.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun."

When she says my name, I get turned on.

So much.

(It doesn't help that she's wearing my shirt. And probably pink panties. Hey...is that _wetness _I see?)

"Hn."

That's my catchphrase. I love it.

"Aah. Do you want to come in for breakfast?"

"Hn."

See. I love my catchphrase!

Then I walked in, watching her lust after my (perfectly-shaped) ass, and sat myself down on her (bright pink. Ewwh. It's only sexy when _she _wears the color.) couch.

Hahaha.

I told you.

Uchiha Sasuke pwns all.

-

-

-

While my hot girlfriend is making me breakfast, and I'm staring at her body, covered in my shirt.

Only my shirt.

That's gonna be easy to remove. Ferserious.

Then, I stare at the TV, pretending to watch morning cartoons. And, well, CNN is gay.

But Sakura can't see me ogling her. Cuz then she'll get mad, and when she's mad, it costs me my money to repair her house.

Hn.

(You steal my catchphrase, and I'll kill you. With the power of my sexiness. I'll flip my hair, wink, and smirk, and then YOU DIE. AND THE WHOLE THING IS IN SLOW-MOTION. But I wouldn't kill my Sakura. No, _no _way. She's totally unaffected by it, anyway.)

Some dumbass reporter said, very gaily, "There has been a robbery down at the Konoha candy shop. Over ten pounds of candy has been stolen. Please report anyone who seems to have a large stack of candy in possession."

No one cares about a candy robbery, seriously.

The man then pressed the little microphone in his ear. "Wait, we have a caller on the line..."

An annoying, nasaly voice said snobbily, "Yes, uhm, I'd like the report the robbery of the candy-thief."

"This is big news. What's your name?" the man said. Sasuke gaped. That voice was no other than--

"Karin," the girl said, giggling. And it wasn't good to hear. "It was Haruno Sakura."

And we both were like, "WTF?"

So me, being a good boyfriend and wanting sex, called in and told Karin to fuck off. And then the police searched Karin's house, and not only found the candy, but also found her stash of weed.

Needless to say, the bitch was put into jail.

For a good amount of years.

I lol'ed.

-

-

-

"Here you go, Sasu-cakes," she giggled, knowing that I hated the nickname.

"Hn." I took what she gave me and ate it, my face having the same expression as...nearly always.

She sat next to me and cuddled in my chest. Her shirt (_my _shirt) hiked up a little, showing her creamy thighs.

I put the food down and placed an arm around her, falling back onto the sofa so that she rested on top of me.

I placed my hands on her hips, and she breathed on my neck, making small, intricate designs on my chest.

(Do you _know _how hard I had to work to get ripped?)

She leaned in, and pressed her lips against mine.

"You're cute, Sasuke-kun."

Twitch.

Men aren't cute.

Men are sexy. Like me.

...Wait. That sounded wrong. Like, I _swear _I'm not gay. REALLY. DAMNIT, BELIEVE ME NOW.

Sakura's the only person for me.

Fer-freakin'-serious.

-

-

-

I used my finger and twirled her short, pink hair around it. My finger than untangled itself around her hair, and moved down to the middle of her forehead, to the tip of her nose, and then her plump, cherry-red lips.

"Mm," she moaned.

"Hn," I smirked. "You're beautiful."

I continued moving my finger down to her neck, resting at the crook. Slowly, I licked my finger and placed it back on the sensitive spot.

She stifled back a moan, and I smirked again. Then, I replaced my finger with my mouth, and my tongue.

My finger continued to trail down, unbuttoning the top buttons of the shirt. They were cold, and she jumped slightly. My lips captured hers, and I forced my tongue to fuck hers.

"Wait, wait, wait..." she moaned, trying to get off of me. "What?" I asked, pulling her closer, not wanting for her to go.

"Just...wait," she squeaked, getting up. "I have to get something."

She flauntered off, the shirt rising up, and her pink panties obviously visible, along with the wetness.

I'm getting hard.

-

-

-

Sakura went into her (pink) bedroom, and carried her (pink) Apple laptop out. Placing it next to my half-eaten breakfast, she opened her iTunes and started playing songs.

"Let me choose," I said.

She sighed. "Okay, fine."

I browsed through her playlists. When did she get so many American bands? Our Japanese ones were so much better. And she ogled them more.

(But she still loves me.)

"Sakura...Akon? Is that the gay guy? Jesse McCartney? Definitely gay. Hannah Montana? Sakura, are you eight?"

She laughed, and I began playing a song.

"What did you choose?" she asked, as I pushed her down onto the sofa and was on top of her. Lyrics were already playing, but could not be heard, for she had asked the question.

_Your body is a wonderland..._

I placed my hands on her, roaming her body and tearing my shirt off her. My tongue traveled her figure. And she continued to moan under me.

It was still morning, and since she had put on only a shirt, she had no bra. Her breasts aroused me, and I licked my lips.

She breathed, her chest heaving up and down. "Ha," she smirked.

I then removed her panties, which were nearly soaked. "Wet already? My, Sakura," I teased.

She grabbed my shoulders and bit my neck softly. I groaned.

"That feels good," I whispered huskily.

Then, she used her teeth and bit my shirt, tearing it. It didn't matter, though. I could buy a new one.

Sakura then unzipped my pants, rubbing against me, and it was obvious that she was looking mischievous from her facial expression. She knew I was hard.

She stripped me of my clothing, as I did with her, and we began to lip-lock.

_You want love? We'll make it._

She broke the kiss, and whispered in my ear, "Make love to me."

Not wanting to deny her request, I breathed heavily and thrust into her. She bit her lip, and closed her eyes, her hands in my hair.

"Does it hurt?" I muttered, slowing creating a pace.

In, out. In, out. In--

"Harder, Sasuke-kun. F--Faster! Aah, I...deeper, Sasuke-kun!"

In, out, in, out, in, out...

She began moaning uncontrollably, her face slightly red. Her long, manicured nails dug into my back, and I, too, winced at the pain.

Pain turned into pleasure.

-

-

-

"S-Stop," she muttered, pushing me off of her. "I'm hungry..." she began, reaching over for my half-finished breakfast.

_Damn baby, you frustrate me.  
I know you're mine, all mine, all mine...  
But you look so good it hurts sometimes._

"You're frustrating me," I muttered, my hand on my forehead. "But you're all mine."

She smiled at me. "I know."

She finished chewing, and climbed back on top of me. "I'm the dominant one this time," she breathed out, her hands intertwining with mine.

"Hn. Fine. Only once."

Sakura leaned in to kiss me, the faint taste of tomatoes in her mouth.

The final lines of the song concluded, and moved onto the next song, possibly another one by John Mayer.

...But no.

It was--

_Rape me, rape me, my friend..._

...Holy fuck.

Whatever. As I tried to change it, she pulled me back and we continued our positions.

I flipped myself back over to be dominant.

(After all, it's no fun to be on the bottom.)

-

-

-

Nirvana's song finished, and by the time his voice dwindled, we finished, sweating and panting, holding onto each other.

"You finished anyway," Sakura smirked.

"Hn."

My smexilicious body glowed with sweat, and I turned off the webcam on her laptop.

"You _recorded _us?!" Sakura shrieked, embarrassed. I smirked.

"I'm sending it to Karin."

Her hands slid down from covering her mouth, and she began laughing.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun. You think of everything," she giggled.

I've always liked her laugh.

But I made it stop.

Her kisses are even better.

-

-

-

Karin was handcuffed, three security guards leading her towards her execution.

"I didn't do anything!" she shrieked.

Needless to say, these three guards were probably the bravest--all the others had backed out from the job because they didn't want to hear her voice, see her face, and have her scent.

Leading her to an empty room, she could see a piece of wood, a line seperating one piece from another. But the line wasn't cut completely, so it was like one of those "Lights, camera, action!" things. When they start the scene.

One of the guards held the piece of wood up, and the others placed her head in the small circle carved in the middle of the wood. The two smaller circles were for her hands.

"So, we'll see you...tomorrow? Isn't that when your execution is?" one guard said, bumming a cigarette.

"I HATE YOU!" she shrieked, trying to get out.

It was an ugly sight.

...And her torture was watching the video of Sasuke and Sakura. Doing it.

Then, the execution was when Sasuke filmed a video of himself, flipping his hair in slow-motion, winking, and smirking.

What a painful, painful death.

* * *

**...yeah. piece of shit, this one.**

**anyway.**

**i dont mean to bash any of the bands. except hannah montana/jesse mccartney. no offense, really.**

**and no offense if you like karin. yeah.**

**anyway.**

**r&r?**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	6. Extra Small

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble six. third person. OOC Sasuke.  
**FML oo6: **Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary: **Today, Sasuke tried a pair of jeans on. Sakura, seeing the XS sticker, took it off his thigh and placed it on his crotch. "My dick is _not _small." //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo6.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**E**_x_t**r**_a _S**m**_a_l**l**

-

"How do these jeans look?"

Sasuke expected a "Sasuke-kun, you look so sexy! Well, you look sexy overall, even if you were in a hobo suit with a straw hat and a pitchfork...and dirty overalls, but I love you either way."

But nooo.

"Extra small, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, her eyebrow raised.

They were currently in a dressing room, Sasuke in jeans and Sakura eyeing the pants.

"...Hn."

This was not the reaction he wanted to see.

Sakura bent down, and he supposed she was going to give him a blowjob, so he assisted in unzipping his zipper.

"...What are you doing?" she asked, her hand on his thigh.

He replied coolly, "What are _you _doing?"

Sasuke felt a finger against his thigh, and then on his crotch. She placed the XS sticker from his leg to his penis. Giving a small smile, she shrugged, and was about to leave the dressing room when he held her back.

"My dick is _not _small."

Sakura smirked. "Care to prove me wrong?"

Sasuke tightened his grip on her fragile wrist and shut the door, locking it.

"Yes, I'd like to," he breathed out, placing her on the wooden seating chair and getting on top of her.

His tongue moved from her neck to her jaw, then captured her lips.

"What kind of lipgloss?" he murmured, outlining her lips.

"Mm...cherry," she moaned, her hands in his hair.

"I like it," he whispered, nibbling her earlobe. "It matches you."

She began to squeal as he took off her shirt with skilled hands, and her bra, too, fell to the floor.

"I don't really get why you wear that when I'm with you," he smirked.

Sakura gave a high-pitched sound. "Sasuke-kun, this is our first time, damnit! And in a dressing room...couldn't you be any more romantic?"

"Hn."

He placed a hand over her left breast, kneading the mounds vigorously. She moaned, and arched her back as he then used his mouth to form wet trails over her hardened bud.

Seeing that he was shirtless, Sakura then decided to move down to unzipping his pants.

Sasuke, still occupied with her twin globes, ripped off her skirt and panties, throwing them to the floor.

"S-Sasuke-kun," she moaned, her hands still tangled in his hair. "I...they...hearing us..."

"Let them," he said, silencing her with a kiss. He rubbed her womanhood, and then inserted a finger. She winced, and dug her nails into his back.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, pumping the finger in and out.

She breathed, "N...No, c-continue, please."

Not wanting to fail her command, he smirked, and continued inserting more fingers until she couldn't handle it anymore. He took them out, stared at them, and seductively licked the juices off.

"You taste good."

She then succeded in removing his pants, along with his black boxers.

"You sure seem to like black."

He kissed her again. "Not as much as you."

Sakura stared at his member with awe. "I-It's so big..." she breathed out. "Oh, Sasuke-kun..."

Sasuke smirked. "I told you."

"Shut up and _fuck _me," she growled, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him down to lock lips with her. He then thrusted into her slowly, seeing her reaction, and quickened the pace, hearing those sweet, _sweet _moans.

Her nails dug deeper into his back, a small trail of blood flowing down his porcelain skin.

"Gomen," she muttered, while continuing to shriek out yells of pleasure.

He "hned" back and thrust deeper, faster, harder...

"Is somebody in there?" a voice called out, knocking the door of the room.

Sakura moaned out, trying to maintain her voice, "O-Occupado..."

The person walked away, and Sasuke murmured, "I never knew you spoke Spanish."

"I...I don't, Sasuke-kun...aah!"

She then took his hardened cock when he thrusted out of her wetness and stared at it.

Sakura placed her lips around the tip, and began sucking, swallowing each bit of cum.

Sasuke placed his hands on her head and drew her closer to him, thrusting in her mouth.

"You...you taste good, Sasuke-kun..." she murmured, her tongue making intricate designs on his manhood.

He placed her back onto the dressing room seat, and, with his hands, vigorously massaged her swollen breasts and bit every part of her beautiful, marble skin.

"I'm going to have...oh, Sasuke-kun...hickeys..."

"Put ice on it."

The bench was slightly covered in blood, some from Sasuke, and some from the breaking of Sakura's virginity.

"Your dick isn't so small, anyway, Sasuke-kun," Sakura breathed out as she broke apart from her boyfriend, grabbing her clothes and putting them back on, straightening herself up.

He continued to remain unclothed, staring at her.

"Hm?" she asked, combing her hair with her hands.

"We...we didn't use a condom," he muttered, looking at the floor.

Sakura tilted her head and her mouth was in an 'o.'

"It's okay," she said, continuing to fix her hair, making braids.

Sasuke looked up at her. "It's okay? It's _okay_? I could've gotten you pregnant, and you say it's _okay_?!"

"Yeah. So...?" Sakura said, admiring her hair and now fixing her clothing.

Sasuke shook his head and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm a horrible boyfriend."

Sakura scooted over to him and hugged him, licking his cheek. "No you're not, Sasuke-kun. You're sweet, amazing, and sometimes arrogant, but I love you."

And she kissed him.

She stood up, and said, "Be right back."

-

-

-

"Try these on," Sakura said, throwing articles of clothing at him.

Sasuke took the clothing and put it on. "Sakura, these jeans are too baggy."

The pinkette then removed the sticker and placed it on his crotch.

"XL might be your real size, Sasuke-kun," she smiled. "Just don't get fat, cuz then you can't see your own penis. And you'll be unattractive."

Sasuke chuckled.

"I won't. For you."

And once again, he kissed her, locking the dressing room door.

-

-

-

_"Uhm. Sasuke-kun. Can we name him Itachi the second?"_

_Growl._

_"No."_

_Pout._

_"Fine. Sasuke the second?"_

_Think._

_"...Maybe. What if it's a girl?"_

_Silence._

_"Ichigo."_

_Sigh._

_"No. How about Sakura. I like it."_

_Whine. _

_"I hate my name!"_

_Groan._

_"I hate Itachi."_

_Screech._

_"I like it! But of course, not as much as Sasuke."_

_...Quiet._

_"I love you."_

_Kiss._

_Moan._

_Touch._

_"...Are you taking Vimax pills?"_

_

* * *

_

**rrgh. these are shittier by the chapter. i really liked history class though. the rest are shit. SHITTTTT.**

**and grr. school is coming up at sep 10. that means less FF and LESS TALKING TO RHYRHY ZOMFG. ILY RHYRHY. DONT LEAVE ME EVERRR.**

**besties/twinnays forev. ferserious.**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	7. Bubble Wrap

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble seven. first person. sakura's POV.  
**FML oo6: **Today, my mom put bubble wrap on my desk. I'm eighteen. It was awesome. FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary: **Today, Sasuke-kun put bubble wrap on my desk at the hospital. I'm twenty-four and a respected doctor. Needless to say, I spent half my time playing with it rather than saving lives. FML. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo7.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**B**_u_b**b**_l_e **W**_r_a**p**

-

My job was totally awesomesauce.

Save patients, have them thank me with words and gifts, visit me, do fun activities with me, playing with kids, getting a REALLY HIGH PAY from Tsunade...all that jizz-jazz.

I healed patients with my super-amazing-incredibly-KICKASS ninja skizzles. And they were always like, "Ohemgee. Sakura-san! ARIGATOU. I LOVE YOU."

I'm serious. Like, they all worship me. Because I save them from dying. And blood is bad when it has poison in the bloodstream or is flowing out from your body rapidly.

Ewwhs.

It took me, like, a while to get used to all the blood.

But, well...three hundred dollars per hour (in American money) was awesomesauce.

And no, Karin, I did _not _spend them on push-up bras, because _my breasts are bigger than yours, bitch_.

Beat that, fucker.

Continuing.

I have an amazing, wonderful, sexy, orgasmic boyfriend with the name of--

Beep. Beep. Beep.

DRUM ROLL.

...Silence.

DRAMATIC PAUSE.

**Uchiha Sasuke.**

Now you may think, who is this "sonofabitch motherfucker with a name as stupid as that?!"

Well, if you _do _think that, I'm going to fuck you in your ugly face, because SASUKE-KUN IS LIKE, A HUMAN FORM OF KAMI-SAMA.

That's how amazingly cool he is.

How I love to touch his chicken-ass black, raven hair, look into his onyx eyes, kiss his cold, sweet lips, touch his simply god-like structure, and fondle his baby-making organ that protectedly goes into _my _body part that will form said-babies.

And he's smart.

Smarticle.

-

-

-

It was a long day at work.

Very, very god damn long.

But Sasuke-kun would relieve me of such tension.

And so he did.

Aah.

I used to think penises were disgusting.

Now I love them.

-

-

-

"We have twelve ANBU, half of them injured severely, Sakura, you'll need to--" Tsunade began.

"Yeah, I know, I know..." I mutered, running into the room. My eyes widened. They were...well...like zombies.

It was scary.

I spent a good hour trying to heal each one, telling them it would be alright and that they would see their families again.

Hour after hour, it was cleaning blood, taking weapons out, comforting them...

It was sad.

-

-

-

It was break time, and I headed to get coffee.

Good old fashioned coffee. Aah.

I began pouring the cream in and stirred it with the stick, heading back to my office.

And then--

I saw it.

Oh.

Dear.

Kami.

There was _no _fucking way it was _that_.

_That _on my desk.

That _thing _on my desk.

...It was.

-

-

-

"BUBBLE WRAP!" I shrieked, dropping my coffee and not caring as it soaked into the carpet. I ran to my desk, nearly knocking over half my things, and began playing with the bubble wrap.

Then, I saw a note next to it:

_Sakura--_

_I know you like to play with bubble wrap. So, here's a little something to remember me until tonight. _

_Hn,_

_--Sasuke._

I giggled, and sighed. Sasuke-kun was such an amazing boyfriend.

He always knew what I liked.

I placed the note next to my computer, and began popping the bubble wrap furiously for twenty minutes.

I'm twenty-four, a respected medic ninja, and I'm supposed to be saving lives since my break was up.

But bubble wrap was so much more important.

Tsunade could handle it.

-

-

-

It was an hour and forty-five minutes since I began playing with the bubble wrap.

I was still not bored.

And, dude. I usually get bored after...oh, two, three minutes?

But bubble wrap was simply awesomesauce.

How could you _not _love the texture of the plastic, with little bumps under your fingers. AND THOSE LITTLE BUMPS HAVE AIR!

So when you press it together, it makes a cute little _pop! _sound and, ugh. It's a guilty pleasure. Sue me. It's awesome.

...Shut up. I am not childish.

-

-

-

No more bubbles.

No more freakin' bubbles.

So I placed the plastic back down and began sniffing. I felt a wetness running down my cheek.

...Was I crying? Dude, I, like..._never _cry now. But for bubble wrap? WHAT THE FUCK.

This was so embarrassing. I was just glad Sasuke-kun wasn't here to see.

I sat down at my computer, and opened my desk for a notepad.

...I found it.

I freakni' FOUND IT.

I was like, "I love you. Ferserious. I don't care, I love everyone now."

So what did I find, you may ask?

I found--

-

-

-

"Haruno Sakura, get your lazy ass out from this office and stop playing with that fucking bubble wrap!" Tsunade called, angry at me.

And she was holding sake.

Drunk Tsunade plus pissed off Tsunade equals total bitch.

(More bitcher than me when I'm PMSing.)

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, fine Tsunade. But I'll play with the bubble wrap at the same time.

So I got up, snuck the popping plastic in my pocket, and walked out.

-

-

-

"One time, I choked on something when I was seven, and some person came and did the Heimlich maneuver," I said, painting my nails light pink while talking to a wounded patient.

He was fixed, so don't judge me. Just...he needed company.

"And then what?" he said, his voice muffled from the bandages.

"I accused him of assault, since he broke three of my ribs," I said, switching the brush to paint my right hand.

The patient chuckled, and so did another voice. Deep, sexy, alluring...

The Master of the Bubble Wrap.

-

-

-

"Sasuke-kun!" I shrieked, running towards my boyfriend, wrapping my arms around his neck. My nails were not yet dry, but that didn't matter.

All that mattered was me, Sasuke-kun, bubble wrap, and condoms.

No, wait.

Bubble wrap is so awesome it _could _be the condom.

"Hn...Sakura," he muttered, wrapping his sexy arms around my waist. His head was in my hair, breathing in my scent.

It was sexy.

"I've come to pick you up early. And I've made arrangements, so don't get so wet over it."

I blushed furiously.

"I am _not _getting wet!"

Patient in bandages semened to enjoy our conversation.

I mean--SEEMED. I swear, I didn't mean semen.

"Hn."

He gave me that smexilicious smirk, and I died on the inside.

If I die, I want bubbly to be with me.

-

-

-

"Bubble wrap is awesome," I kept saying on the way home. Sasuke sighed.

"When will we have some _us _time?" he asked in frustration.

"After I'm done," I said, irritated. Bubbly. Bubble. Wrap.

He used his keys to open the door to his house, and grabbed my wrist, _flinging _me onto the sofa.

"What the hell?!" I shieked.

"Shut up."

He kissed me, and held my wrists together. Sasuke-kun took my bubble wrap, which is like, AGAINST RULE NUMBER TWO FOR ME.

Number one is: No touchy Sasuke-kun. _My _Sasuke-kun.

Okay, then, well. He stripped us of our clothing and, he did the unthinkable.

Well, my fantasy.

He used the bubble wrap as a CONDOM.

A plastic condom.

And then it hit me.

"...Sasuke-kun. It looks like you have genital warts. Or acne on your penis. That's kinda nasty."

He growled.

-

-

-

"Sakura, you ruin everything," he said, resting his hand on his forehead. He began putting on his pants, and I just sat there. Staring at him.

Uncovered.

I leaned over to kiss his cheek and placed bubble wrap in his hands.

I was still unclothed.

"It's better to give than to receive," I smiled, thinking of the last time I said that.

When I gave my virginity to him.

And him to me.

He took the plastic, and I helped him press his fingers against a bubble.

Pop.

-

-

-

**24 Hours Later**

**-**

**-**

**-**

"Sasuke-kun, when can we make love again?" I pouted as he was occupied with popping his bubble wrap.

"Hn. Let me finish."

I whined. "Sasuke-kun! This is your fourteenth bubble wrap! Do you not care about me?"

"I do care about you. I love you, Sakura. But buble wrap is amazing."

...Hmph.

Damnit, Sasuke-kun.

And you say _I _ruin everything.

* * *

**last day of summer for me. RRGH. DDDx**

**and guess what? it's like, uhm. well. RHYRHY YOU HAVE TO TALK TO ME EVERYDAY, DAMNIT. or else i'll be emo. again. =(**

**you is no want me to be emo.**

**and i'll draw/write stuff for you. even though they both suck horribly and you're 10000000000x times better. DONT DENY IT.**

**kthxbai.**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	8. Chemical Reaction

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble eight. first person. sasuke's POV.  
**FML oo8:** Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:** My idiot girlfriend woke me up _three in the morning _to take to her to the Poison Control Center. Why? She swallowed baking soda and vinegar to "make a volcano in her tummy." FML. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo8.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**C**_h_e**m**_i_c**a**_l _R**e**_a_c**t**_i_o**n**

**-**

"N-No, Sasuke-kun," Sakura moaned as I was about to tear the elastic band on her panties.

(Mind you, I chose them.)

"Why not?" I whispered as my hand then moved up her shirt, going beneath her lacy red bra and massaging her nipples.

"I-I'm tired, a-and...aah, Sasuke-kun!" she shrieked as I then tore off her wet panties and quicklky pumped my fingers into her.

She was beyond wet.

Soaking.

And she tasted good.

"Sasu...Sasuke-kun, s-stop...I'm--aah! Tired, and...oh, Sasuke-kun..."

I ignored her.

As much as I love her, I have NEEDS.

NEEDS THAT NEED TO BE SATISFIED, DAMNIT.

And so she forgot all about her "tiredness" and marveled at the sight of my "mammoth cock."

(**A/N: Thanks to Rhyrhy for telling me about the ItaSaku lemon called Yes, Master. xD**)

-

-

-

It was a Sunday, and I was exhausted.

No, _beyond _exhausted.

Hey, _you _try having sex for seven hours STRAIGHT, nonstop, and _plus _different positions.

So shut the fuck up, bastard.

Continuing.

It was a Sunday. And, well. I had just gotten back from those awesome seven hours of love-making.

One in the morning.

Ugh.

I slipped off my shirt and slept in only boxers.

(Everytime Sakura and I have some "alone time," I later have a wet dream.)

Aah.

-

-

-

_"Sasuke-kun! Aah...faster, harder, damnit, Sasuke-kun, go deeper!"_

_"I'm trying," I muttered, thrusting into her._

_She clawed at my back, moaning loudly. Sweat covered her sweet, perfect body, the one I claimed to be only mine._

_I bit her nipple, admiring the breasts God had given her. Then, I moved down to eat her out._

_"Aah, oh, Sasuke-kun! No, I--aah! It feels so good," she moaned, tugging at my hair._

_I moved up to kiss her lips gently, and she sighed in contentment._

_We laid next to each other, breathing heavily._

_"Sasuke-kun...I lov--"_

Ring. Ring. Ring.

-

-

-

I groaned, irritated at who was calling me _three in the morning_.

Not only were my sheets soaked from my wet dream, but really. THREE IN THE MORNING.

Only, like. TWO HOURS OF SLEEP.

I answered the phone, not looking at the Caller ID.

"Sasuke-kun?"

I immediately sat up. "Yes, Sakura? What's wrong?"

"Take me to the Poison Control Center," she said.

"What? Why? What happened?" I asked quickly, shooting out questions repeatedly.

"I'll tell you on the way. Hurry, please, Sasuke-kun," she said, her voice still casual.

I dressed quickly and hoped this wasn't a joke.

-

-

-

She stood outside her house in only a red hoodie and green shorts.

"Get in," I said, opening my car door for her. She smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"What's wrong?" I said. And I noticed some vomit on her hoodie--just a little bit.

"I swallowed baking soda, a base, and vinegar, an acid," she said coolly, remebering the things she learned from Science.

I sat there in silence. "_Why_?!" I nearly shouted.

She looked at me with those sweet, green eyes of hers.

"I wanted to make a volcano in my tummy, Sasuke-kun."

I looked at her, and then banged my head repeatedly on the steering wheel.

Facepalm.

-

-

-

Who gives a _fuck _if I go...uhm...TWENTY miles over the speed limit? No one's on the road at three in the morning, and this is a MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

If she dies, I won't be able to kiss her, hold her, touch her, whisper sweet nothings in her ear...

And get married and have, like. Lots of Uchiha babies.

Hopefully not boys with pink hair, but if that happens, they invented something called hair dye.

Bump.

I think that might've been a deer or something I ran over, but Sakura is more important than Bambi.

Go away.

-

-

-

I carried her to the PCC, telling everything that went wrong to the person in charge.

She didn't even freakin' _look _at Sakura.

She was ogling me.

And dude, only Sakura can ogle me. (And kiss me, and touch me, and say how much she loves me and stuff.)

"She swallowed baking soda and vinegar," I growled.

"Aah. Right this way," the girl said, not taking her filthy red eyes off of me.

I'm kinda wondering why the glasses's glass didn't shatter from her horrible ugliness.

-

-

-

I gave Sakura to one of the doctors, who sighed.

"Aah, yes. Haruno Sakura. We've had her multiple times."

I twitched. "...What for?"

The doctor didn't even have to look at her medical record.

"Trying to make a chemical reaction in her stomach, eating what _seemed _like candy, but actually turned out to be a deadly acid, thinking unpasteurized milk was good for you, eating a whole tube of Crest for dinner...all that stuff."

...Why, oh _why _did my beautiful Sakura act so stupid when she was actually very clever...

Ugh.

Women.

-

-

-

"I'm Karin," the girl said flirtatiously.

Ewwh.

Yellow teeth, acne, on the overweight side (by a lot. That's nasty.), oh Kami. Save me now.

A little part of me died inside.

RIP Inner Sasuke.

"Hn."

And so she tried to continue trying to hook up with me, which we _know _wouldn't happen.

Because, if you look at my penis, there are faint marks when Sakura wrote in Sharpie (while I was asleep. Shut up.) "This is the property of Haruno Sakura. And so is everything else of Uchiha Sasuke's hunkalicious body."

But sadly, that washed away while we had sex in the shower.

I'll ask her to redo it when she gets better.

-

-

-

It was seven in the morning.

I was tired.

And Karin kept trying to rape me.

It was digusting, and I was worried that I'd never see my Sakura again.

I have to keep an eye on her. All the freaking time.

Sighing, I pulled out my cell phone and decided to entertain myself.

*67-000-555-1234.

"WHO IS THIS?" an annoying voice shouted.

What a dobe.

-

-

-

I talked to Naruto on Restricted for who knows how many hours. He was so clueless.

Our conversations would always be something like "WHO IS THIS?" and shit. Until at the end, I said, "It's Sasuke, dobe." And then comes the barrage of "TEME!" and shit. Then I hang up.

Five minutes later, I try again, and the cycle repeats.

"WHO IS THIS? TELL ME WHO YOU ARE OR I'LL BURN YOU WITH SCALDING HOT RAMEN."

I chuckled.

Oh, Naruto.

When will you ever get a brain?

-

-

-

I fell asleep in the bathroom, so Karin wouldn't rape me.

And I spent a good two or three hours sleeping on a dirty tile floor.

It would've been better with Sakura.

...Aa...

-

-

-

Sakura skipped out the door gleefully, all better.

"Where is Sasuke-kun?" she asked Karin.

The girl growled, and said, "He left."

Sakura's expression saddened.

"I'll call him, then."

She pulled out her red blackberry and dialed the numbers.

"Hey, you can't use your phone in here," Karin said, making an excuse.

"Well, you were."

Karin realized she was still holding her phone.

"Well...I'm different."

Sakura was about to say something until she heard a "Hello?"

-

-

-

"Hi, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said. "I'm all better now!"

Sasuke rose up from the bathroom floor and ran to her in the lobby, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up, kissing her.

Karin was disgusted.

So very disgusted.

And jealous.

BE JEALOUS.

"You woke me up three in the morning," I murmured.

"I know. Gomen," she said back, hugging me tightly. Her feet were still off the ground.

"You have to make it up to me."

She stared at me. "Eh?"

"I'm wide awake, and I was thinking we could try the doggy style again. You seemed rather fond of it."

At these words, Karin fainted.

"Okay, Sasuke-kun."

I hugged her closer to me.

"We're just a chemical reaction. I'm the base and you're the acid, and our love is the volcano!" she said cheesily.

"Aa."

And I agreed with her inwardly.

* * *

**LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.**

**gayness ftw.**

**ILYALL. damn school. i love you guys. so much. SO FUCKING MUCH.**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	9. Car Wash

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble nine. third person.  
**FML oo9:** Today, I went back to my car after a day at the mall and saw that someone wrote "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty" on the back of my dirty car. I don't have a girlfriend. FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:** Sasuke hadn't washed his freakin' car in WEEKS. So as he went to buy chocolate for his menstruating girlfriend, he saw that someone wrote "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty." And he growled. Because Sakura wasn't "ready to give up her virginity." FML. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**.oo9.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**C**_a_r **W**as**h**

**-**

"You suck," he growled as he stared at the pinkette, who was brushing her hair on his bed.

"I know I do, Sasu-cakes," she smiled as the brush ran through her silky locks.

He sighed, and sat next to her.

"But why?"

She formed her lips into a small 'o.' "Because I'm not ready to give up my virginity, Sasuke-kun. I promise I'd save it for the man I married."

Sasuke growled.

"That's obviously me."

She laughed. "Mm...maybe."

"No maybes. It's a definite yes."

Sakura giggled, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Aa. You and your jealous self."

"Hn."

She placed a hand on his thigh, resting her head in the crook of his neck, placing the brush down.

"I like you a lot, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn." _I love you too._

He stroked her soft hair, placing gentle butterfly kisses over her body.

"Bye-bye and good-night, Sasuke-kun," she muttered as she fell asleep on his shoulder.

-

-

-

**12 Hours Later**

**-**

**-**

**-**

"SHIT!" Sakura screamed, waking up her boyfriend. She squealed, her legs seperated as far as she could.

"What?" Sasuke groaned, being woken up after a long night.

Sakura panted. "I-It's here again! UGH! I absolutely _hate _when it's here!"

"When what's here?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his eyes.

"My period!" she cried as she felt the uncomfortable wetness between her legs. "And I forgot to prepare a pad...and oh, Sasuke-kun...my stomach hurts! I need chocolate, now!"

"You know I don't carry chocolate here."

She screeched at him. "Go buy some! And some tampons, Sasuke-kun. Hurry up!"

He sighed. "My car is dirty. I haven't washed it in weeks, Sakura."

"WHO CARES?! Get a car wash later!"

Sasuke hated her time of the month.

For example.

-She was bitchy. Like, not "SASUKE-KUN. GO GET ME A BANANA. NO, I SAID I WANTED AN APPLE, RETARD." But worse.

-She just laid there. And did nothing but moan and complain all the time. And ate chocolate.

-No romance. At all. Nada.

-Shopping for tampons and pads was horrible. Especially since he's a guy.

-Did he mention that she was bitchy during her period?

"Fine."

As he grabbed the keys from his countertop, he sighed inwardly as he unlocked the door to his car.

-

-

-

"Do you think Sakura would get mad if I bought her super-plus?" Sasuke muttered to Naruto through the phone, looking at the heavy tampons and the light ones.

"I don't know!" Naruto shrieked back, giggling.

"Shut up, your voice is so loud, it's like you're right...behind...me..."

Needless to say, the whole store was staring at the two, the handsome boy carrying tampons in both hands with his idiotic blonde best friend behind him.

Kill him now.

Just...just kill him.

-

-

-

After many embarrassing moments, Sasuke and Naruto walked out to his car.

"How'd you even get here, anyway?" Sasuke muttered, trying to forget that experience.

"I dunno."

Sasuke twitched, taking his car keys out.

"Hey, teme, look!"

On his car, yes, his _filthy _car, someone had written, "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty."

And Sasuke growled, dropping the bag.

"Fuck them," he cursed.

-

-

-

Sakura was pacing around the room, wearing fresh panties and placing toilet paper as a quick substitute. She was dressed only in her boyfriend's long shirt.

She heard the small "click!" of the key inserted into the hole, and she quickly opened the door, embracing Sasuke.

"Aah, arigatou Sasuke-kun! I was cramping like crazy!" she screeched. "And hi, Naruto."

She then took the bag from him.

"Yeah, I might need normal tampons..." she muttered. Opening the package, she lifted up her shirt and held it with her mouth, the shirt showing parts of her covered bosom. Using one hand, she stretched her panties out in front of her, and with the other, inserted the tampon.

Sasuke began to feel a little, no..._large _bulge forming.

And Naruto was feeling.

Well.

Naruto-ish.

She then threw away the applicator and released her lips from the shirt.

"W-Why did you do that in front of us, Sakura-chan?" Naruto stuttered.

She laughed.

"You and Sasuke-kun haven't seen me naked before, I know that. But since I'm only in his shirt, a bra, and panties, it's like the same as wearing a bikini. So no biggie."

Sasuke growled, the bulge becoming more and more uncomfortable.

There was silence.

"Sasuke and I are going to wash his really dirty car...do you want to see the message someone wrote?" Naruto said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sasuke = facepalm.

-

-

-

"What does it say?" Sakura said, led by Naruto, who held her wrist.

"You'll see," he giggled, Sasuke trudging behind his still-nearly-naked girlfriend.

Fuck masturbation.

He was going to do her, whether she liked it or not.

-

-

-

"I wish my girlfriend was this dirty?" Sakura read, her mouth in an 'o' shape.

Sasuke was about to kill himself.

As in, have Sakura take his keys, drive the car, and then run him over.

And then cry.

Then, he heard her laughing.

"That is so funny!" she said, catching her breath. He could see a glimpse of her pink panties.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, smirking, and apparently, Naruto noticed it too.

He didn't mind his best friend hitting on her. Because she would never go to Naruto. And who could resist Sakura's beauty?

Mm.

-

-

-

Naruto removed his shirt, along with Sasuke. Using hoses, sponges, and buckets, they began scrub-a-dub-dubbing.

"I'm going to go inside and eat chocolate. Bye-bye, Sasuke-kun, Naruto!" she waved, Sasuke's shirt a bit tucked in to her panties.

Sasuke stared at his girlfriend, while Naruto blasted him with the hose.

"Gotcha!" he squealed, as Sasuke smirked and poured a bucket of water on him.

-

-

-

"Tootsie Rolls, Milk Duds, Milky Way, Hershey Chocolates...ooh! Lindt! My favorite!" Sakura squealed as she opened the package and tasted the sweetness.

She lied down on the couch, her stomach cramping less.

Her period lasted about three days, at the most, unlike other girls.

...Mm...

-

-

-

"That's the last of it, teme!" Naruto said, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Hn," he smirked back, using the hose to blast water at him.

Naruto shrieked. "HEY! Teme! Back off! Garble garble."

Sasuke chuckled, and marveled his clean car.

The two friends walked back to the Uchiha's apartment together, only to find out that a flock of geese were traveling and had done their "business" there.

Along with the sudden dirt pouring on it. Again.

And then fangirls rubbing up against it, inhaling Sasuke's scent.

Fuck.

-

-

-

"We'll do it later," Naruto said, grabbing his friend's wrist and pulling him inside.

They saw Sakura, still in a shirt.

"Hi, boys. Do you want anything to eat?" she asked, taking out one of her boyfriend's frying pans.

"Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little kid. (Which, in fact, he was.)

"Tomatoes."

Sakura smiled. "Coming right up!"

And as the two men stared at her backside, Naruto whispered, "You know, she would be really hot in a Kiss the Cook apron."

"Hn."

-

-

-

"Yummy, Sakura-chan! That was the best ramen ever!" Naruto said as he wiped his mouth. She giggled.

"Thanks, Naruto."

Sasuke hned, taking a bite out of his third tomato. Sakura kissed him on the cheek, then took Naruto's empty bowl to clean.

"Well, I've got to get going. Bye-bye teme! Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, waving as he left.

Sakura smiled until she heard a scream. And then multiple thumps.

"Did he fall down the stairs _again_?" she asked.

"He sure did, Sakura. He sure did."

-

-

-

"I'm gonna go take a nap," Sasuke yawned, taking one of his blankets and resting himself on the couch.

"Good night," Sakura smiled, kissing his forehead, her pink locks tickling his cheeks.

He smirked, eyes closed. "Hn."

Sakura then took a quick look at her charming boyfriend, then walked over to his room to change clothes.

-

-

-

**2 Hours Later**

**-**

**-**

**-**

Sasuke rubbed his eyes, fully awake. "Sakura?" he called out.

No response.

"Sakura?" he said again, pushing the blanket off of him.

Silence.

Sasuke's brain turned on the switch: PANIC MODE.

"Sakura!" he screamed.

He then rushed to the countertop and began dialing her phone number.

Then he saw it.

A note.

_Come outside when you're awake._

_Love always,_

_Sakura xoxo_

He sighed in relief, knowing that she was okay. Taking his keys, he sped out the door and into the driveway.

-

-

-

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he dropped his keys.

She was on top of his once again filthy, _filthy _car, wearing only her lacy red bra and matching g-string.

Holding a hose, she pretended to "cover" herself with her arm, blushing, acting embarrassed.

Her legs were pushed together, so that he could see that tiny bit of red covering her womanhood.

"I--Sakura?! What the hell?!" Sasuke nearly screamed.

She simply smiled, her index finger on her chin.

"Car wash, Sasuke-kun?"

* * *

**blahhhh.**

**anyway. school sucks. i hate my gym teachers. and DUDES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 114 REVIEWS. ILY. ILY, ILY, ILY.**

**oh, and there's another FML story copying my idea. kinda. it's called FML by vicki the mermaid princess. and, well. yeah.**

**so. r&r, plawks? **

**I LOVE YOU GUYS.**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	10. Interruption

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble ten. sakura's POV.  
**FML o10:** kanye west && taylor swift.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:** "So, concluding this essay, I would like to thank--" I began. Naruto rushed up, grabbing the mike from me. "You know, Sak, that's great, I'm really glad for you and I'll you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best music videos of all time. OF ALL TIME." ...FML.

* * *

**.o10.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**I**_n_t**e**_r_r**u**_p_t**i**_o_n

**-**

Dude.

How could he _do _that?!

SERIOUSLY.

THAT IS SO NOT COOL.

KANYE WEST JUST, LIKE, JUMPED IN FRONT OF TAYLOR AND TOOK THE FREAKIN' MIKE FROM HER.

And he was like, interrupting her, and DUDE. DID YOU SEE HER EXPRESSION? She was crying backstage! YOU'RE SUCH A FREAKIN' JACKASS, KANYE. I HOPE YOU DIE.

Taylor's just a young chica wanting her thirty minutes or so of fame, but NO. YOU AND YOUR SHITTY SELF HAD TO RUIN IT.

WELL, FUCK YOU KANYE.

FUCK YOU.

...You really are heartless.

(I know this is a bad time, but I LOVED YOUR SONG "STRONGER." Okay, now back to the hate mode. Go die, and NEVER COME BACK.)

P.S. Can you send me an autographed album?

I Hate That I Love You, (ha, now I'm going Rihanna on your ass.)

-Haruno Sakura.

-

-

-

Okay. So I was preparing my medical speech for a PhD to get into the Konoha Hospital (while watching the awards, but STFU. I think that America is currently more important than my damn speech.), I was on the phone talking with Hinata about it, my precious baby on speaker, and my pen scribbling down shit.

"He just JUMPED, Hinata! He, like, used his feet and JUMPED!" I shrieked.

Hinata sighed for the fiftieth or so time. "Y-You use your f-feet to j-jump, Sakura-chan."

"I know, but, like...his jump was like...pause. JUMP! SO SUDDEN! SO DRAMATIC! So...so..." I began, nearly tearing.

Hinata replied, "It's okay, Sakura-chan. You'll get over it. It's not a big deal."

"IT IS A BIG DEAL!" I sobbed, dropping my pen and watching the ink spread on the paper. Fuck.

I could hear Hinata sigh again. "Okay, Sakura-chan. Well, I have to go now, because Neji-nii-san refuses to cut his hair. I'll see you tomorrow--good luck!"

I sniffed and pressed the End button.

(I knew I should've typed this.)

-

-

-

Well. It's, uhm. One o' clock in the morning, with lots of coffee, sugar, tears, and curses. And of course, the paper.

I treasured the paper, holding it up and admiring my printed work from arms length. And all of a sudden, angelic voices sang, with heaven's light shining down on it, sparkling in multiple places.

I then shook my head, lowered the paper, and the music and light and sparkles stopped.

Feeling sad, I put it arms length away again.

"Aa!" the voices sang.

...Instead of sleeping, I spent my time doing that. Off and on. For three hours.

I was gonna be cranky at...uhm...I think it started at nine o'clock.

Eh. Whatever.

-

**After Three Hours of Constant Ogling, Four Hours of Sleep, and...well. I don't really know what else.**

**-**

"I. AM. SO. TIRED." I shrieked as I rampaged through the room, looking for something nice to wear. Bags were under my eyes, but it wasn't something a little makeup couldn't fix?

My hair was disheveled. And I was bitchy. Like, not just "GO AWAY, I'M PMSing!" bitchy, but the kind of bitchy that includes the PMS, a break-up, and...uhm. A...(fill something of your choice).

I found a scarlet dress Hinata gave me. Quickly taking my old clothes off, I was clad in a lacy red bra and panties (I saw an old man birdwatching through my window. It's nice to know he apprectiates nature in the morning.), and quickly put on the dress, while finding matching high-heels.

I combed my hair, outlined my eyes with eyeshadow, mascara, and eyeliner, put on blush, a nice matching lipstick with my buh-you-tee-ful dress, and nearly _pranced _through my door. With high heels.

Prancing in high heels is so totally awesomesauce.

So as I grabbed my keys, started up my beautiful pink Prius, I forgot something.

...Fuck.

MY SPEECH.

I ran back, the keys still in the car. And as I held the paper, oh so gently, (no time for arms length, I had WORK to do), I saw my car speeding down the driveway. Into a ravine.

FML.

-

-

-

With my super awesome ninja skizzles, I got the car out. But the paint chipped! I was examining it, and then my eyes widened, and I nearly dropped the paper.

It chipped.

THE. PAINT. CHIPPED.

I saw it. I freakin' _saw _it.

A part of the car's pink paint was chipped. It was about the size of the 'l' on your keyboard, but sideways.

I cried.

"I'M SORRY, PRIUS-CHAN," I sobbed as I hugged the mirror.

But.

I had somewhere to go.

So I just got in, and hopefully later took my anger out on Naruto.

What does Hinata see in him again?

-

-

-

I turned on the radio. Nothing like good music to start the day.

"KANYE WEST INSULTED TAYLOR SWIFT--!"

I winced, changing the station.

"Yesterday, Kanye interrupted Taylor in--"

My face scrunched up.

"ACCORDING TO THE JAY LENO SHOW, KANYE IS A BITCH."

Okay. I admitted it. I let go of the steering wheel and cried.

No accident, but. Well. I was even angrier when Prius-chan got bird poop in the window.

FML. Again.

-

-

-

"I'M FINALLY HERE!" I shouted, waving my angelic paper. Everyone looked at me, including Tsunade with her breast implants.

(Oh wait, that was Karin and Ino. Or don't they stuff their bra? Ha. They're just jealous of me.)

I saw Hinata, my lovie, and hugged her. Then I saw Naruto, and dear Saucy-cakes, looking sexy, as usual.

Naruto ran up and squeezed me. And wished me luck. And planned a surprise.

...I hope it's not a thong again.

Sasuke looked at me with that smexilicious devilish smirk. "Good luck."

I died inside.

Forget Prius-chan and other crap. Sasuke-kun is so amazing.

Everyone clapped as Tsunade called my name on the stage.

-

-

-

Besides tripping on my high heels, blushing, cursing, and all that shit, I got on the stage. Aheming, I started out.

"MY FELLOW JAPANESIANS. ASK NOT WHAT KONOHA WILL DO FOR YOU. Because then the whole world will blow up 'cuz we got AIDS from Orochimaru."

Many people agreed in chatters.

I saw Sasuke-kun raise an eyebrow.

...THAT BITCH.

SHE _WAS _LYING ABOUT JAPANESIANS NOT BEING A WORD.

I'm gonna cut off her FAKE hair and CHOKE HER WITH IT.

CHOKE HER.

CHOKE HERRR.

There was silence.

...And then I realized I was saying that out loud.

Acting like everything was normal, I 'ahemed' again.

"Continuing."

-

-

-

I went through a lot of my speech, including little curses and such. And when I was about to get to the MOST IMPORTANT PART, _he _came.

**He **came with my surprise.

He** came** with my surprise.

He came **with** my surprise.

He came with **my **surprise.

He came with my **surprise.**

"So, concluding this essay, I would like to thank--" I began.

Naruto rushed up, grabbing the mike from me.

"You know, Sak, that's great, I'm really glad for you and I'll you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best music videos of all time. OF ALL TIME," he shouted.

Silence.

Echo, echo, echo.

...FML. I'm fucking serious, REALLY. KILL ME NOW.

-

-

-

I stared at everyone, my hands trembling. "YOU BAKA!" I shouted, punching him. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YESTERDAY'S SHOW AFFECTED ME? YOU JERK!" I shrieked as I ran off the stage crying.

(Yes, this is a _big _deal for me. Though I'm not really into American music, Taylor Swift is awesomesauce. Love Story totally fits Sasuke-kun and me, except no one dies. YAY.)

Everyone saw me rush out. Like. Really quickly. So did Naruto, holding the mike. So when I left, I heard him say, "NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, DON'T KILL ME~ IT ONLY MAKES US STRONGER!" he sung.

Fuck him. I _am_ gonna kill him.

-

-

-

Sasuke rose from his seat.

"Excuse me. I have to use the restroom," he muttered to Hinata.

Loosening his tie, he went to the only sensible place he could to find me.

The girls' bathroom.

Making sure no one was there, and listening to see if anyone was IN there, he then entered, and heard sobs.

Of course, my sobs.

He knocked the door.

"Sakura."

I only responded with cries. The awards were a big deal for me!

"Sakura," he said even more firmly, knocking harder.

More sobs. Because, well. He was interrupting me. Like Naruto, that bastard. Sniff sniff.

He did the unthinkable.

Since I wouldn't OPEN the door, he climbed under. Like, Mission Impossible rolling under a table or something.

It didn't really get his suit dirty, but it was hot.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him.

"What happened," he commanded, needing to know.

-

-

-

I sobbed in his chest as I told the whole story. He sighed, raising an eyebrow.

"You're making such a big fuss over _this_?"

I cried harder. WHY IS NOBODY UNDERSTANDING MY SENSITIVITY?

Sighing again, he placed his hand on my hair. STROKING IT.

STROKING IT.

DUDE.

I WAS HAPPIER ALREADY. He NEVER showed PDA. Especially to me. Or anyone else. Mostly everybody else, but he CARED FOR ME.

Ferserious.

Oh meh gawsh.

Did he do what I thought he did?

HE PULLED ME CLOSER 0.01 MILLIMETERS TO HIM.

I can feel his thing pressing against my baby-making thing. It would be perfect! Him, me, doing it, having the time of our life...pop! Goes the baby out the vagina.

OHH. I remember, like, when I was ten, I was so scared to put a tampon in that I asked a question online, because I was scared of the tampon not fitting or I couldn't get the right hole.

And someone said, "PSHH. if a baby can fit thru there so can a tampon."

I was like "...when you're preggers, your vagina does something wacky so that it can help the baby get out. But whatev. Thanks anyway."

Continuing.

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

His lips were on my hair, and his hands were sliding down to my waist.

Oh, wait. Make that my _hips_.

"S-Sasuke-kun?" I stuttered out.

He pressed a finger to my lips.

"Shh."

I closed my eyes, not knowing what to do next. And he leaned in, his icy lips from the iced champagne (mm...spearmint chapstick?) touching mine.

He tasted good.

I wrapped my arms around his beautiful pale neck, my hands in his hair. He nibbled on my lip, and I moaned as he stuck his tongue in.

We were playing tonsil hockey for a good five minutes.

(Best 300 seconds ever spent.)

I pulled away, and he had a concerned look on his face.

"Did you not like it? Did I go too fast? Did I--"

Whoa.

Uchiha Sasuke, panicking.

I need my video camera.

-

-

-

"You were fine, Sasuke-kun. I needed to breath, after all," I chuckled, the tears caked on my face.

"Hn."

My lips formed an 'o' shape, and I played with his tie.

I _ever so slightly _pulled it off, leaving him in only a black jacket, white dress shirt, and black pants.

"Oops," I said seductively, the black tie in between my fingers. I played with it, the silk good against my skin.

I saw him watching me, licking his lips.

"You do know there's a free room. After all..." he said huskily, biting my earlobe, his tongue in and out. "This is a hospital," he breathed.

My breath hitched.

And, well.

...My fantasy may just come true.

-

-

-

Room 69 (haha, what a coinky-dink!).

Sasuke locked the door behind us, and stared at me with those handsome eyes of his.

I covered my chest, biting my lip and for some reason moving away from him.

Each step back.

He stepped forward.

Until I reached a wall.

He rubbed my shoulders sensually, licking the nape of my neck, kissing my jaw and then moving onto my lips.

"You're beautiful," he muttered, tracing the outline of my mouth.

"You're too handsome for me..." I moaned as his hands just-so-happened to brush the spaghetti straps down my arms.

I placed them back where they belonged, and he "pouted."

"Don't be shy."

Gently, his fingers brushed them down again, tickling me.

Kissing me again, I then removed his black jacket, which fell to the floor, and began unbuttoning his dress shirt quickly.

"Naughty, naughty Sakura," he smirked through the kiss.

I growled.

"Shut up," I murmured back.

I then saw a glimpse of his god-like structure.

Oh holy crap.

Pale skin. Model-like body. ABS. And...ugh. Am I dead? I think I am.

I breathed heavily. And he smirked. Slowly, I placed my hands on his chest, starting from his shoulders down to his waist.

My fingers traveled a bit too far, and they ended up brushing against his...member.

He moaned, and I squealed, jumping back and holding my hand against my chest.

"That felt good," he whispered huskily, taking my hand and wanting me to touch him again.

I shook my head.

"I'm too nervous."

He smirked. "I'll help relieve you of your anxiety, Sa-ku-ra."

Sasuke unzipped the back of my dress, the scarlet fabric falling to the ground.

I blushed furiously, trying to cover myself. My breasts or my womanhood?

He pulled my arms away.

"There's nothing to hide."

Psh. YEAH THERE IS.

He unclasped my bra with one hand (skilled. Yup.), and stared at my breasts, my nipples erect.

Slowly, he held my hands and asked me a question. "Is it okay?"

"Aa," I breathed out, caressing his cheek and bringing his head to my chest. He licked my nipples, biting them, and I squealed. My hands were in his hair.

He made wet trails over my breasts with his tongue, the small breeze chilling the patterns.

"You are beautiful," he whispered again, his hands touching my twin mounds.

I was nearly beyond embarrassed.

But hey, it felt good.

(So sue me.)

-

-

-

When having sex, never use a cot.

Sasuke-kun and I fell down. Four times. When he was cumming. I mean, like, he was leaning in to kiss me, and he was IN NAKED GLORY. (So was I, but I am self-conscious about my body.)

And then it hit me.

"You didn't put on a condom?" I asked.

His eyes widened.

"Oh...fuck..." he muttered, getting off of me and dressing me, and himself.

I laughed. "Whatever."

He stared at me, and then was about to facepalm himself.

Apparently, a guy getting a girl pregnant is big news for him. But not me! Doesn't everyone act natural when they think they're pregnant?

...Idiot.

-

-

-

"How many more months?" Sasuke asked as he stroked my hair while I laid on his lap.

"Mm...two, I think?" I smiled.

Sasuke chuckled. "That's good."

I 'pshed.'

"Having cravings, throwing up everyday, being bitchy, uncomfortable, worried...the only thing _you _have to worry about is not having a kunai hit your dick."

"Hn."

I then got up, went to my computer, and logged onto my FaceBook account.

"...What are you doing?" he asked.

I did not respond.

I checked the usual; friend requests, posts, notices...ooh! A new quiz!

"When Will Kanye West Interrupt You?"

Ugh. I got over that, like, four months ago. It wouldn't bother me. Much.

I read the questions, took the quiz, and I excitedly got my result.

...

Oh _hell _no.

"When Will Kanye West Interrupt You: CHILDBIRTH."

FML.

* * *

**ugh. sorry i havent updated in forever. i was bored, had no inspiration, was feeling really down, and school was being a bitch. i could've updated sooner, but...like i said, no inspiration.**

**i am sorry to all of you. DDDx.**

**and, uhm. yeah. the kanye west quiz on FB is true. so. yeah. AND IT WAS SO RUSHED, DAMNIT.**

**SO FUCKING RUSHED. i hate it.**

**balhhhhhhhhhhh. hatehatehatehatehate. gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygayNESS. Dx**

**r&r?**

**btw: I HAVE PREVIEWS NOW.**

_.o11. (The Talk): "So," Father Haruno began, sipping a cup of tea. "What have you done recently that was great?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Your daughter." FML._

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	11. Doing the Daughter

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble eleven. sasuke's POV.  
**FML o11:** While I was visiting my girlfriend's family for the first time, I talked to her dad. "So," he asked me. "What have you done recently that was great?" Without thinking, I said, "Your daughter." FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**SPECIAL NOTE: **this chapter is dedicated to my lovie Dictionary Ink, who has just accomplished 1000+ REVIEWS FOR HER STORY "Blink and You'll Miss Me." LOVE HER NOW.

**summary:** "So," Father Haruno began, sipping his tea. "What have you done recently that was great?" Without thinking, I blurted, "Your daughter." FML.

* * *

**.o11.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**D**_o_i**n**_g _t**h**_e _D**a**_u_g**h**_t_e**r**

**-**

Oh _fuck_.

I shouldn't have said that. Hell, I shouldn't have even _come here_.

But due to my girlfriend's bouncy bust (and of course, her beautiful angelic face), I did.

Ugh. She owed me _big time_.

Anyway, it first started out like this.

I was sitting down, eating tomatoes while watching CNN.

Then, all of a sudden, BAM.

Sakura bursts through my front door (for the thousandth time, Sakura, I _told _you the key is under the mat!), creating a Sakura-shaped hole, and screams, "GUESS WHAT, SASUKE-KUN?!"

"You got your period?" I muttered.

She punched me, and I groaned. "Ow."

"No, stupid! Kaa-san and tou-san want to meet you!"

My eyes widened.

The boyfriend. Meeting. The girl's. Dad.

Oh, fuck.

"No way."

She pouted. "PLEASE, Sasuke-kun?"

Damn Bambi eyes.

(Yes, I was growing up watching Bambi. There was nothing else that was good during my days. So...stfu.)

"No."

She furrowed her brows.

Uh oh.

Before I knew it, she was on top of me, knocking dear Tomato-chan out of my hand onto the dirty floor.

Using her (seductive) voice, she purred, "Sasuke-kun," nibbled on my earlobe. Her hand clenched the collar of my shirt, and her fingers traced my chest, tickling them through the fabric of clothing.

They met at my sudden bulge, stroking it up and down.

"Horny, Sasuke-kun?" she giggled.

Damn.

"Fine, whatever. I'll go."

She smiled. "Arigatou."

When she got up, I pulled her wrist so that she landed on me again.

"But why don't we finish what we started?" I smirked.

She leaned in for a kiss.

-

-

-

Ugh. A _tux_? She made me wear. A freakin' TUXEDO.

Yet she herself was wearing sweat pants and an old shirt.

(Was her bra strap hanging down from her shoulders? Mm, I bought that one for her.)

Sexy.

"Come _on, _dear little Saucy-cakes!" she pouted, grabbing me by the hand.

I am 6'3, FYI.

And she is just a fragile little angel, only 5'5.

Haha.

Sucks to be an Asian girl. All short and stuff.

**(N/A: I AM ASIAN. AND SHORT. DDDx)**

Mm. Cute, nontheless. Hot, nontheless. Sexy, nonetheless. And beautiful?

Beyond words.

She tugged harder.

"Come _on, _Sasuke-kun! They're waiting for us!" she pouted.

So, I got in my sexy black Volvo (even sexier when we're making love in the back seat, since the front seat has too many dials and switches and whatnot.) and opened the door for her on the passenger side.

She frowned, and said, "I want to drive."

What.

The.

Fuck.

I was doing this for HER. Meeting her parents.

FOR HER.

Dressing up in a retarded-looking tux.

FOR HER.

Letting her drive.

NOT FOR HER.

Volvo-chan is mine.

_Mine._

(And so is she, but really, even though I love her more, this car screamed out the word SEXY. Like I do.)

Sadly, I tossed the keys towards her, and she smiled, kissed me, and her hand reached...well. You know. My penis was the size of a speedbump by then.

(No, Sakura, if you run over it, we won't be able to make babies anymore.)

In the passenger seat, she placed the keys in and ignited the engine. I leaned back, crossing my arms, and looking badass.

If only I were two months older...then I'd be able to legally smoke cigarettes and look even _more _badass.

She looked at me. With that smile.

So she grabbed my red silk tie and ravished my lips.

(Yes, of course, I took control. And yes, sex in the front seat is very, very hard. Like my dick.)

-

-

-

Ding Dong.

(No, not the "Ohh, you touch my ta-la-la!" song by Gunther and the SunShine Girls. But the real doorbell, idiot.)

My palms were sweaty. Sakura obviously noticed this, and held it, pressing it against her cherry-red lips.

Slight lipstick mark.

"You'll like them, Sasuke-kun. I promise."

"Hn."

She sighed, seeing my solemn expression. Pursing her lips, she asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Love me," I commanded.

She smiled. "But I do!"

"More."

Just as I was leaning in to press my lips against hers--

"So you're the famous Uchiha Sasuke."

Fuck.

And he was holding a cricket bat. You know, the ones that look like a paddle?

Not good.

Not good at all.

-

-

-

Sakura helped prepare dinner with her mother, while I was stuck sitting on a sofa, watching Father Haruno sip tea out of a cup.

"Tell me about yourself."

I could smell green tea. Japan's specialty.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke."

His eyebrow twitched, and he placed his teacup on the table next to him. "Go on," he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his hands.

"I was born in Konoha. I have a brother. And I am in love with your daughter."

Father Haruno winced, then nearly spat at him.

"You perverted rapist." was all he said before picking up his tea again.

"I am not a perverted rapist," I said, nearly raising my voice.

He eyed me, and said, "No seventeen year old is in love so quickly. Especially a _male _seventeen year old."

I scoffed. "Then you're a romantic retard."

Father Haruno luckily didn't hear this comment.

Sip.

Sip.

Sip.

Sakura...I'm feeling uncomfortable here. Hurry up and make the damn dinner, woman!

"So," he began, taking another sip of tea. "What have you done recently that was great?"

Without thinking, I blurted out, "Your daughter."

He spit out his tea, and looked straight at me with the evil glare. As in, _DIE, _glare. (I'm the master. But still. This guy scared me shitless.)

"_Excuse_ me?! You did _what _to my Sakura-hime?!"

FML.

-

-

-

I acted calm. Crossed my arms, leaned back, straight face. Perfect.

Kinda.

Father Haruno was now standing. "My Sakura-hime isn't a virgin anymore? She lost her innocence to a filthy _hobo _like you?!"

I scoffed again.

"How could a hobo be as breathtakingly handsome as me?"

He growled. "Uchiha Sasuke, you have the biggest ego on the planet, jackass."

I chuckled. "Your daughter said that to me the first time we met."

"I wish it would've stayed that way. Damnit, you raped her! You raped my daughter! I will call the police on you, and fuck, you and your pedophilish self can go to jail!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's seventeen. In two months, I'm going to be eighteen. And anyway, ask her. _She'll _even tell you that we made love."

"M-MADE LOVE? I--IT'S SEX, YOU CAN'T MAKE LOVE!"

I chuckled. "Silly little Father Haruno. How could my dear, clever Sakura be brought up by someone like you?"

He was fully red, ready to pull out his matching red hair. "EXCUSE ME?!"

"Dinner's ready!" Sakura called out.

And so, smirking at her "Kiss the Cook" apron, I got up, and was momentarily excused from Father Haruno's killing wrath.

And the cricket bat.

-

-

-

Throughout dinner, Father Haruno glared daggers at me while I simply smirked, one arm around Sakura, and the other eating.

"So, Sasuke-san. Can you tell me more about yourself?" Mother Haruno smiled pleasantly.

Father Haruno growled.

"I have one brother--Uchiha Itachi, four years older than I. I was born in Konoha, and my best friend is Uzumaki Naruto, sometimes sadly. I have never been understood by someone until I met your daughter."

I squeezed Sakura's shoulder, and she blushed. Then, I removed my arm and under the table, I slid it up her thigh. She jumped.

"Awwh, that's sweet, Sasuke-san," Mother Haruno giggled. Father Haruno gave _the look_. Again.

Suddenly, Sakura's father looked at her mother and said, "Hana, could I talk to you in the kitchen?"

The surprised housewife got up, and I heard bickering in the kitchen.

"What did you and tou-san talk about?" Sakura asked, pursing her lips.

"Nothing," I smirked, kissing her forehead.

_"HE'S A RAPIST, HANA! A RAPIST!" Father Haruno shrieked from the kitchen._

_"No, he's not, Hachiro, he's a fine, young gentleman who cares for our daughter."_

_"LIES, HANA! LIES! HE PROBABLY HAS AIDS! MY POOR SAKURA-HIME IS GOING TO DIE. FROM AIDS. Because that bastard fucked her!"_

_...Silence._

_"Awwh, that's so cute! They'll get married and have lots of grandchildren for me! And, ooh, did they use a condom? Safe sex is important before marriage!"_

_..._

_..._

_..._

_"Why did I marry you again?"_

_Shrug. "I dunno."_

Sakura giggled at her parents' conversation, then got up, dragging me by the hand.

"I want to show you my room."

I followed her, and she led me upstairs, flicking on the lights.

So pink.

Everything was pink.

Pink walls, pink bed, pink dressers...all that stuff. And she even kept the stuff I gave her.

Shutting the door, she smirked.

"Why don't we christen these new sheets, Sasuke-kun?"

I pushed her onto the bed and she quickly removed our clothes.

-

-

-

Father Haruno had stopped yelling. "I'm going to check where Sakura-hime is."

As he trudged upstairs to her room, he opened the door, and asked, "Sakura-hime?"

Turning on the lights, he screamed in terror as he saw _him _doing the daughter. In his house.

And his precious cricket bat was being used. As a sex toy.

Eff his life.

* * *

**i no, ahvent updated in 4ever. sue me. liek, i'ave always had the time but nvr the inspiration. it sucks. SUCKSSS. i need inspiration. seriously. i mean, i HATE writer's block. doesn't every1 else? and ugh my tyipng sucks here cuz im too lazy to fix it. i mean, it's an authors note. so. yeah.**

**read SHINIGAMI to TENSHI (rhyrhy!)'s story A Void. its' so damn good. dude, she pwns me by 99999999999999999999%. and more. i fail. epicly.**

**loveyouall. seriously. i love you to death. PMs are nice. feel free =D**

**and pass on some inspiration?**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**

_o12: Sasuke commanded, "Give me a cheer, Sakura." Forced to put on the cheerleading costume, she said dully, "Give me an F! Give me a U! Give me a Sasuke! Put it all together and what does that spell?" Oh dear._


	12. Spirit Day

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twelve. third person.  
**FML o12:**My boyfriend forced me to put on a slutty cheerleading outfit and do some gay cheer. For three hours. FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:**Sasuke commanded, "Give me a cheer, Sakura." Forced to put on the cheerleading costume, she said dully, "Give me an F! Give me a U! Give me a Sasuke! Put it all together and what does that spell?" Oh dear.

* * *

**.o12.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**S**_p_i**r**_i_t **D**_a_y

**-**

(Show off your team spirit.)

Sakura sighed, running a hand through her pink hair. Her sweaty body molded with Sasuke's, who wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing him closer to her. His eyes were closed, and his chest moved up and down. He hadn't awoken yet.

She smiled, snuggling in him. Her arms tickled him slightly, and the feel of him excited her.

"Hn," he breathed out, eyes still closed.

Sakura's emerald eyes faced him. She raised her head to press her lips to his.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

She was about to push her away from him, ready to take a shower, but instead, he held her tighter and she squeaked.

"S-Sasuke-kun!" she breathed out as he attacked her lips, moving down to her neck. "I-I have to go...take a shower..." she began.

His head moved between her breasts. "Take one with me."

"N-No! Sasuke-kun!" she half-giggled, half-said.

She could feel him smirking between her mounds. "Why not?"

"I-I don't want you to," she laughed as he used his tongue, tickling her.

Suddenly, he lifted her bridal style and kicked the door open to the bathroom. The sudden chill came over them.

"It's cold," she whined, her head leaning next to his body and her arms around his neck.

"Wait a little bit," he muttered, turning on the showerhead with one hand.

She squealed as he combed her hair with his hand. "Mm, Sakura, wait..."

Then, he opened the door and held the showerhead over her body, letting her take up all the hot water.

"Aa..." she moaned, massaging her scalp.

Sweet, sweet moans...

"Let me wash your hair," he commanded. She gulped, then he placed the showerhead back to its original spot. Squeezing some of her strawberry shampoo out, he rubbed his hands together and moved them through her silky locks.

His body pressed closer to his, his hard member against her buttocks.

Moaning, her head arched back, and his hands were lost in her soft locks.

Then, he removed them, rubbing matching body wash and slowly moving from her neck down to her shoulders...

Massaging her breasts.

Tickling her stomach.

Running down her outer thighs.

He thrust gently into her behind.

"Do you like that, Sa-ku-ra?" he whispered huskily as his hands moved up to her hips.

The girl squeaked, and covered herself, though there was no use.

He turned her around to look at him, and he smirked.

"You don't have to cover yourself when you're around me," he murmured as he took her arms away from her body. He then stroked her cheeks, kissing her forehead, nose, lips...

"Aa! There's soap in my eye!" she screamed, and she covered her eyes, tripping into the shower door, causing Sasuke to bump back against the freezing tile wall. Sakura screamed again, and with one hand, reached for a towel. Sasuke cursed, turned off the water, and handed her the towel to rub her face.

"It hurts," she whined.

Sasuke dried himself off with another towel. "Hold still," he said, examining her emeralds.

"No, it hurts!" she shrieked, flapping him off.

He sighed.

"Sakura, let me see it."

She gave in, wincing at the momentary pain. It dwindled, though the redness was still there.

"Arigatou, Sasuke-kun!" she smiled, hugging him 'round the waist.

"Hn," he muttered back, exploring her damp hair with his hands. "You're so confusing, Sakura," he murmured, kissing it.

"Not as confusing as you!" she said back childishly, her tongue sticking out at him.

Sasuke chuckled at her childish behavior and kissed her forehead.

"Silly Sakura."

"TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!"

"Hn."

-

-

-

Sakura hopped around the kitchen, making breakfast for herself and Sasuke. "Do you like salt on your eggs, Sasuke-kun?"

"It doesn't matter."

Sakura shrugged, then poured the white grains onto his yellow-white breakfast.

Handing it on a silver platter (in a French maid costume, mind you), she then snugged into his lap and breathed in his scent.

Fiddling with his collar, she whispered, "I like it when you get turned on."

His face turned pink, and he turned to the other side, hoping she wouldn't see.

"Annoying," he mumbled, a hand through his hair.

She giggled, a hand on his neck, feeling the soft ends of his hairs from the back. She pressed her warm, red lips against it, licking it as it moved upwards.

She then kissed his jaw, watching him squirm uncomfortably as her other hand trailed down to his abdomen.

"Aa, Sasuke-kun," she murmured. "You're so tight."

This made his bulge even larger, and Sakura, hesitating, pressed her soft cherry lips against his, making an outline of them with her tongue.

"Y-You taste good," she said as he opened her mouth and inserted his tongue into her cavern.

Suddenly, he pushed her down onto the couch, stared into her eyes, and whispered,

"I don't take orders from a dominatrix."

Sakura smiled, placing his hands on her chest while he passionately "devoured" her.

He fiddled with the folds of her costume, then ripping the clothing off, admiring her sex-goddess body.

"Hey! I just put that on!" she pouted.

"I'll buy you a new one," he murmured, his hands trailing down her body, touching, kissing, feeling...

As she became wetter and wetter, he smirked, his lips to her ear, mumbling, "Are you aroused, Sakura-_chan_?"

She whimpered, and he stuck his tongue into her ear, licking the shell and nibbling softly.

"Don't do this to me," she said as he kissed her jaw, moving up to her lips. "It's torture," she moaned.

As he fiddled with the strap of her bra, he said, "So what do you say?"

"Put your hands on me," she begged.

"What's my name?" he replied playfully, massaging her wet womanhood with the other hand.

She screamed, "SASUKE-KUN!"

He smirked, and tore off the undergarments in a flash. She was panting, and helped remove him of his attire.

"You're so mean," she pouted, her lip curled.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry," he said. "So what can I do to repay you?"

"Tell me, no, _show _me you love me. Kiss me lovingly. Hold me tight, and never let me go."

Smirking at her poetic "abilities," he placed his lips on her forehead, murmuring, "I'd never think of letting my only love fly away."

She laughed, pulling him down. "Even _more _cheesier than me."

Growling, he smashed his lips onto hers. His member was against her womanhood, hiding beneath pink curls. He rubbed against her and felt her moan, grabbing his locks and twisting them.

"It's even harder for me," he smirked as he noticed her pleading expression. "But a shinobi--"

"Must never show emotions, yeah, I know that shit," she muttered, telling him to shut up.

He grabbed her by the legs, placing them over his shoulders.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun! What the fuck are you doing?!" she shouted as her head was dangling against the back of his knees.

Sasuke chuckled as he felt her wetness against his back and her whines.

"You're such a child sometimes," he said as he reached the bedroom. By that time the blood had gotten to her head, and she was feeling dizzy.

Then, she was put on the bed with a _thump! _and saw Sasuke's naked body over her. His hair, slightly damp from sweat, framed his god-like face.

"But I love it."

He then smashed his sweet, sweet lips onto hers, forcing her to open her mouth, sticking his tongue into her mouth.

"Mmph! MMPH!" Sakura said, trying to move her pinned limbs. He stared at her.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Be gentler, baka," Sakura said. "It hurts!"

He grabbed her wrist, holding her towards him. She yelped, falling into his chest, breasts pressed against his muscles. He wrapped his arms around her and smirked. Then, he placed both hands on the sides of her face and gently brought her in to place a tender kiss on her mouth.

"Better?"

"Lots," she smiled. As she leaned in for another, he said, "Wait."

Stepping out of bed, he walked over towards the closet as Sakura covered herself with the sheets. He came back, holding a cheerleading uniform with the Uchiha symbol sewed onto the black fabric. It included a short, barely covering the bosom shirt, a pantie-like skirt, and two matching black, blue, and red pompoms.

"Wear this."

Sakura frowned. "Why? I don't want to put that on! It'll make me look like a slut!"

"Well you're not, so it won't be. Come on, Sakura. Or I'll put it on for you," Sasuke commanded.

Sakura sighed as he tossed the uniform to her. Embarrassed, she turned her back to him and he smirked.

"No need for that," he whispered, tugging her back to face him. Her face was red with embarrassment, and she slowly put the tight, chest-choking shirt on. Slipping on the other clothing, she frowned as she said, "Now I look like a stripper."

Still amused, Sasuke placed the pompoms in her hand. He climbed in the sheets, covering half of his body. Thinking she should join him, she flipped half of the black blanket over until he said, "Give me a cheer, Sakura. Now."

"What?! Why, Sasuke-kun?! I've already done this--" she motioned with her pompom-filled hands, "For you!"

"It turns me on. I like to see you role play."

Sakura groaned in frustration. "You're so annoying!" she complained.

"Don't go stealing your lover's lines, now, Sa-ku-ra."

Sakura was about ready to pull her hair. "So let me get this straight--we wake up, take a shower together, you're about to do me, I get soap in my eye, I whine, moan, and bitch a little bit, you take it out, compliment on how silly I am, I make you breakfast, you eat it, mouth-rape me, we're getting steamy, you pick me up, the blood goes to my head, I'm dizzy, confused, and unsure, and now you're making me wear this?!"

"You forgot the gentler kissing."

"Hmph! The only good thing there."

Sasuke sighed. "Sakura, don't be stubborn. Just finish and then we can make love."

"No babies are gonna be puntin' out of this vagina after I'm finished with you. Hey, you know, if you make me do this, it's not going to BE making love anymore. Cuz I'll dump you, fuck you senseless, and then get together again. So it's basically a free fuck. SEX!" she shouted.

His eyes softened, and he was doing--

Oh no.

The _trick_.

"Please, Sakura-_chan_?"

...Even the little quiver in the voice!

"Okay."

Sigh.

"Give me an F!" she said, turning to the side to form the letter and having her arms looking like the less-than symbol.

"F," Sasuke smirked, knowing he would always win.

"Give me a U!" she said, now on her stomach, her legs and arms up in the air.

"U."

Getting up on her feet, and blushing at his hungry look at the skimpyness of the outfit, she then said, "Give me a Sasuke!"

He smirked. "Sasuke," he repeated back.

"Put it all together and _what_ does that spell?" she said, now in a perfect split.

"Eff you, Sasuke. Awwh, Sakura, you don't have to be so mean," he said, feigning hurt.

"Well, you got your cheer. Now I get my fuck."

He laughed, yes, _laughed, _and tugged her wrist into the bed.

"Not a fuck, not sex--it's called _making love_."

"Well, it's sexual intercourse, also meaning sex, a FUCK, a one-night-stand--"

"Shut up and kiss me," he snarled as he removed the skimpy fabric from her.

Pressing his erection against her wet womanhood, he rubbed against her.

"Like it?"

She bit her lip, refraining a moan. No _way _was she going to give into him after what he had done to her!

"Aa, Sakura, you know you want it," he teased. His lips were on her neck, placing a love mark. She yelped, and he smirked, tounging the bruise.

"I told you, don't hold it back."

He moved down, biting her nipple and sucking it. Running over the hardened bud, she gave in as he massaged the other while licking the current one.

Her hands were stuck in his hair, playing with it, running through them, twisting them passionately.

Without warning, he thrust into her, and she screamed, unprepared for the penetration.

"I want to hear more," he said, his mouth still on her breast.

As Sakura moved her hips against his, making her more and more excited, she began to scream.

"Go harder, faster...oh, Kami! Deeper, Sasuke-kun!" she said, crying from the joy as she wrapped her arms around Sasuke's neck.

"Your wish is my command," he said, kissing her tears away. He went deep, deep into her, and she screamed as if on fire. The pleasure was unbelievable.

He slowly moved out, both partners' cum between her legs.

"I'll get that," he said, moving between her legs to eat her out. She was sweet, and he could literally lick it up all day, and live on it for the rest of his life.

"You taste good. Do you want to try?" he said, capturing her lips. She moaned, and their tongues danced, as did their hands, while her legs were wrapped around his waist.

Panting, she released from him and fell to the bed, catching her breath.

"That was...that was the best we'd ever had," she said, the traces of their fluids still lingering in her mouth.

As she closed her eyes, she felt a presence over her.

"Ready for round two?"

* * *

**no, i'm not dead...(yet).**

**so here's the thing. i'm on FF every day. have all the hours i want. inspiration? zero. oh boo hoo. life sucks.**

**...for me, it kinda does.**

**and this was so random. i nvr plan out, which is why I FAIL.**

**repeat that, I FAIL.**

**heehee. deny it and...uhm. well. face the wrath of failure.**

**QUESTIONSSS:**

**1. how much d'ya lurveee xena?**

**2. if you think my writing sucks, say YES and i give you...er. love.**

**3. i love sasusaku. do you?**


	13. Blood Draw

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirteen. sakura's POV.  
**FML o13:** Today I was at a doctor's appointment. My doctor's freaking hawt, people--like McDreamy--but the problem is... I'm getting needles today. And I hate needles. So I focused my eyes on the first thing I saw to try to distract myself. And, well... "Miss Haruno, may I ask why you're staring at my groin?" FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**special note: **dedicated to especially, since she gave me the idea. ilysfm, jess. x3

**summary:** Today, I was scheduled to have a doctor's appointment to get my blood drawn. My doctor's literally a sex god, and my ex-classmate, and he's going to...is that a needle?! Look somewhere else, Sakura, look somewhere else! "Sakura, why are you staring at my groin?" FML.

* * *

**.o13.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**N**_e_e**d**_l_e**s**

**-**

Not.

Cool.

I needed my _blood _drawn.

MY BLOOD.

Dude, the doctor's literally a freakin' VAMPIRE. I mean, why else would you need your blood drawn?

(Besides for HIV testing.)

He probably stores it in a tube, knocks ya unconscious, and then DRINKS your blood.

Like Edward Cullen.

Hey, it's soon to Christmas time, right? Whatta you think of my rhyme?

He knows when you are sleeping,

He knows when you're awake,

His name is **Edward Cullen **so be ready to get raped!

Eh, classy, hm? Yeah, I'm an Anti-Twilighter. And proud. STFU, BITCHES.

_Ahem._

I don't want my blood drawn.

NONONONONO.

Don't make me get my blood drawn!

Hinata, of course, thought otherwise.

"Sakura-chan, it'll be over in a _second, _I promise!" she said, grabbing my arm. I pouted.

"Uhm, Hinata. You wouldn't know because you're so freaking PURE. As in, a virgin. As in...overall."

Hinata blushed. "But, you haven't had sex either! And yes, I have had a blood draw, but Sakura-chan, you _need _one!"

I crossed my arms and sat down. "Nope."

Hinata sighed.

"Well, I guess we have to do this the _hard _way."

Oh _shit_.

-

-

-

Alright, so coming in the doctor's with a bruised eye, blood dripping from my mouth, scratches all over my body, and other multiple injuries are also an excuse to come to the doctor's.

I've always wanted to be a doctor, but after seeing all that blood, you know, I thought otherwise.

I would be an ARTIST! Drawing smut and whatnot.

Hinata grabbed my hand, while every single bitch stared at me and whispering. Uhm, hello, I can _hear _you.

"Your name?" the receptionist asked. She was eyeing me oddly. I know, my body is gorgeous and stuff, but that's no reason to ogle.

"Sakura. Haruno Sakura," I mumbled, still angry at Hinata.

"Birthdate?" she said as she typed in.

I frowned. "March twenty-eighth."

"Okay. Sit down over there until your name is called."

I sighed, when Hinata led me over to the seats.

I picked up a gossip magazine and started reading.

-

-

-

"OHMEHGAWSH HINATA! Jon and Kate broke up!" I cried as Hinata patted my shoulder awkwardly, ignoring stares.

"T-They've been...single for a while, Sakura."

I didn't care. "Oh. But still."

Then I emerged into a new wave of fresh tears, hugging Hinata as she rubbed my back.

"Hey, uhm, Sakura--do you want to play with the Lego Blocks while you're waiting?"

My eyes shone through the tears. "L-Lego blocks?"

"Mmhm."

I jumped up, squeezing the poor girl.

"YES, YES, YES!" I screamed. "I LOVE LEGO BLOCKS!"

Ten minutes later, I was on the floor, making "zoom!" sounds with my newly built Lego car.

-

-

-

Pretty soon I had built a Lego Kingdom. I made a large tower, three stories high in Lego-world, and Harry Potter on the top with Darth Vader holding him hostage. On the bottom was a crowd of surprised people, and Captain Jack coming up to save Harry.

"Why is the rum gone?" I said, imitating Jack.

"Luke, I am your father," my voice deepened, sound effects sounding like DV himself.

"Voldemort," "Harry" said in a British accent.

"Haruno Sakura?"

I looked up, trying to see where the voice came from. I saw an ugly looking nurse, with red choppy hair and glasses.

"Yeah?"

"Come here," she said in her snobby, nasally voice.

"Hinata, will you watch Harry and make sure he doesn't die?"

The Hyuuga flipped her magazine and nodded, mmhming.

I trusted her with my life, and my Lego blocks.

-

-

-

"Stand here," the nurse said. It was a scale, and apparently she was weighing me.

"Uhm...okay, Karin," I said, looking at her nametag. She sneered, and told me to take my shoes off.

I waited a moment, until the screen showed: 103.8.

Karin wrote something down on her notepad, and then frowned at me. I knew she was jealous of my tits, since they were basically most of my weight.

Ha, look at her implants. They did a sucky job.

"Your height," she snarled. I pressed my back against the wall, and she measured three times: 5'4.

She was so jealous, I know.

"Come here," she repeated again, leading me into a room. It smelled like latex gloves and alcohol swabs.

"The doctor will be here to visit you," she said angrily, slamming the door behind her.

Geesh, what a bitch. Someone's PMSing.

-

-

-

My legs were swinging against the chair, as I perspirated and looked often at the door.

If I die, I want Hinata to have my lego pieces and have her reenact the play between Harry, Darth Vader, and Captain Jack.

I was hyperventilating. Each "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT" was followed with a near faint.

The door clicked open.

And--

Yeah, I blacked out.

-

-

-

I was on the cot, looking up at the ceiling.

"You're awake," an oh-so-familiar voice said. I looked, seeing who the owner was.

"Sasuke?"

He pulled on latex gloves and smirked. "You remember me, Sa-ku-ra?"

"Uhm, _yeah_. Duh."

He chuckled. "Of course, you had a huge crush on me for ten years."

I shrugged. "I'm over it, you know."

"Hn." He pulled out a needle and a tube.

"I...will this hurt?" I stuttered.

"Just a pinch, Sakura. You'll be fine."

I shut my eyes, tightening my muscles. His gloved hands held my left arm out, and he rubbed the part on top of the elbow with alcohol. I squeaked, and he looked at me.

"Scared?" he smirked.

"Shut up," I pouted, looking away.

He pressed the area he had just rubbed and removed the cap of the needle with his teeth, spitting it into the trash.

Oh, his perfect white teeth...

He placed a tourniquet on my arm.

Connecting the needle with the tube, I nearly screamed as he rubbed the needle clean.

Look somewhere else, Sakura, look somewhere else!

"Sakura, may I ask why you're looking at my groin?"

Fuck.

-

-

-

"I, uh--I wasn't looking at your dick! I'm scared," I admitted. Kind of.

"What are you so scared about?" he asked.

I sighed. "I hate needles. You know that, Sasuke-kun."

He let go of my arm, untying the tourniquet, and I crossed my arms, not looking at him.

"It's only a pinch, Sakura. You'll be fine."

"Easy for _you _to say."

My eyes were hot and wet. Rrgh. Stop the tears, Sakura! I said to myself.

"I'll hold your hand and I can get Karin to do it."

I stared at him. Sure, I would love for him to hold my hand, but did he have some sort of relationship with..._her_?

"No. Don't get her."

He raised an eyebrow. "So you've met her, hm?"

My eyes were hot again.

"Shut up."

He chuckled. "You're jealous, aren't you? Sakura, I don't like Karin at all. She's merely an assistant."

"Hmph." The tears fell.

What a liar. I know how these situations go.

-

-

-

I lied down on the cot, sighing as my arms were under my head. Sasuke pulled up his spinny-chair, which I had spun in before he came, and sat next to me.

"Why are you so afraid?" he asked, touching my hair gently.

"Because needles are pointy. They hurt, they can be dirty, and I can get infected from it."

"Sakura, it's going to take two seconds," he whispered.

I didn't look at him. I turned my head and stared at the wallpaper.

I heard him kick his chair behind him, and he climbed on top of me, white lab coat and all. Even a stethescope for awesomeness.

"W-What are you doing?"

He removed the medical instrument and the lab coat, leaving him only in his dress shirt and dark jeans.

"Does it really hurt that much?" he whispered, his bangs touching my cheeks. Just a little more and--

I nodded, then his lips crashed down onto mine. With his hands, he pinned my wrists down onto the cot, and his knee seperated my legs.

"S-Stop!" I mumbled, trying to fight back.

"Why? Don't you like it?" he muttered, biting my ear.

I closed my eyes. "I don't know! It's so strange."

He loosened up, and I felt my wrists free.

He got off of me, and fixed his clothes up. I lifted my back up to look at him.

"What are you doing?"

"You didn't like it. Sakura, just leave if you don't want the blood draw."

"I--Sasuke-kun, is there a problem?"

He looked at me, his eyes serious. "Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

Now I was on my feet.

He slowly approached me, and I took a small step back with each step _he _took.

"Are you scared of me?"

"N-No...I don't know what you're doing, though, Sasuke-kun."

I was now at the wall, and his arms were around my waist while I felt his hot breath against my neck.

"You've never noticed for years, Sakura?" Sasuke said, placing butterfly kisses over me, resting his head in the crook of my neck.

"What?"

I was so confused.

-

-

-

"I like you a lot, Sakura," he muttered, placing light kisses on my forehead, nose, cheek, and lips.

"S-Since when?!"

Holy crap, if I knew he digged me in college, I would've totally done him then and there.

"Forever."

And his lips were glued to mine, his tongue inside my mouth, chewing on my lips. His hand was in my hair, and the other intertwined with mine.

Okay, I admit--I still liked him. A lot.

So I pushed him down onto the cot, which squeaked under the weight of the two of us.

He looked up at me. "I get to be on top."

So he flipped us over like a pancake.

-

-

-

We were naked, Sasuke running his tongue over my body, placing love marks on every inch he could find.

I moaned as he licked my lips, then brought his head down to my wet core, his tongue licking up my juices as much as possible.

"You're so...sweet," he said, kissing me. I looked at his face.

"I thought you didn't like sweets."

He rested his head between my breasts. "I do now."

There was panting, and he said, "I feel your heartbeat."

"Do you, now?"

He closed his eyes. "Now breath deeply. In and out."

I did as he said, and he smirked, moving down.

"Your breathing is fine. No signs of pneumonia, bronchitis, or asthma."

I giggled. So sophisticated.

He then flicked my knees. It tickled, and I jumped.

"Your reflexes," he laughed.

I smiled, and hugged him close to me.

"No."

I looked at him.

"I'm going to need to do check something now.

"W-What's that?"

He spread my legs and buried his tongue into the tight cavern.

"Mm..." he moaned in pleasure.

I stroked his hair. He then said, "Sakura."

My eyes widened, and I knew what he was going to do.

"I'll be gentle," he whispered.

"S-Sasuke-kun..."

He thrust in, and I screamed.

-

-

-

"I'm sorry, Sakura, does it hurt?" he said, panicking.

I breathed out. "No, it just...took me by shock."

He kissed my hair.

"I'll be gentle. I promise," he said again. I closed my eyes, trusting him, and I brought his head down to kiss me.

He was in me again.

-

-

-

He put on my clothes for me, and then his own, and I smiled.

"Thank you," I whispered, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek.

"Anytime."

There was silence, and I was about to leave.

"So, Sasuke-kun, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

I smiled, ready to kiss me, and then shrieked.

"Gotcha," he smirked. The needle was in me, and I saw the blood going into the tube.

"You sneaky little bastard!" I yelled.

"I am," he said, taking the needle out and capping the tube.

"Looks like someone needs a punishment," I said, now that the pain was gone. He was right--it did take two seconds!

"And what would that punishment be, exactly, Sa-ku-ra?"

I smirked, formulating a plan.

-

-

-

"Hey, Haruno? Sasuke-kun, you out yet?" Karin said, banging on the door.

She opened it, and saw me doing a strip tease for Sasuke-kun.

"Hi." I said.

She screamed, and ran away.

Sasuke's eyes were filled with excitement, lust, and the joy of making love.

He was about to help remove my clothing, until I pushed him away. "Nope, this is your punishment, Saucy-cakes."

He growled, and I laughed.

And at that moment, Naruto (Sasuke's best friend at college, and still...) interrupted, bringing Hinata, saying, "Sorry, Harrietta, I'm taking you hostage until your Captain Jacks comes rescue you from ME, the Ramen King from Lego-world, while Hinata-chan is the surprised crowd!"

I knew I picked the right friend to look over my Legos.

* * *

**wow this was gay.**

**anyway, i just came back from a field trip from williasmburg virginia. and this is always dedicated to for the idea.**

**the blood draw is my idea, since i get blood draws every two-three months. im used to it now, but i was so freaked out.**

**this was so rushed. im sorry.**

**and yes, i have more prompt ideas coming up.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	14. Phone Call

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fourteen. sasuke's POV.  
**FML o14: **Today, I called my mom and told her I loved her. She asked me if I was going to kill myself. FML.

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**special note: **dedicated to haisha hime, for telling me about the bad touch song a few months ago. i love you, dearie. x3

**summary:**Today, I finally got the courage to tell her that I loved her. Over the phone. So as I said it, she paused, then said--"Sasuke-kun, are you gonna kill yourself?" FML.

* * *

**.o14.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**P**_h_o**n**_e _C**a**_l_l

**-**

I'll admit it.

I was in love with her.

Truly, madly, and deeply in love.

"I WANNA STAND WITH YOU ON A MOUNTAIN."

I totally would.

"I WANNA BATHE WITH YOU IN THE SEA!"

I want to feel your body under mine.

"I WANNA LAY LIKE THIS FOREVER! UNTIL THE SKY FALLS DOWN ON ME!"

Punch.

"Shut up, dobe."

Naruto groaned, rubbing his head. "Teme, don't punch me! I was helping you with your speech!"

"Go away, Naruto."

The blonde kid 'hmphed.'

I rehearsed the lines in my head over and over again.

_Hey, Sakura--_

or _Hn, Sakura._

Maybe _Sakura_?

Or _Sakura, Sakura--wherefore art thou, Sakura?_

All of them sounded so...so..._bizarre._

What would I do? I planned the whole thing in my head, me holding a bouquet of roses, down on one knee, maybe using a couple pick up lines...

And then the baby-making.

Oh, lord, the sex.

It would be _phenomenal_.

Doing it through a letter--someone could get it before she can, and then spread the word...before Naruto does it.

Oh fuck.

Or texting? No, she would be mad that I wouldn't be able to tell it to her through words. Personally. She would think Naruto did it, or someone else.

I can already imagine.

_From: Uchiha Sasuke  
To: Haruno Sakura  
5:38 PM_

_I love you._

And then a reply, like--

_From: Haruno Sakura  
To: Uchiha Sasuke  
5:43 PM_

_Go to hell, Naruto. Go to hell._

So obviously, that's out of the question.

And then it struck me.

A phone call!

Yes, a phone call...I wouldn't have to suffer the embarrassment of being stupid (which I am _not, _for I am an Uchiha), and she would know it would be me.

It was perfect.

So I got my blackberry out, and started unlocking it with the password, "babieswithsakura."

Apparently, Naruto got a hold of it, and I was stuck in the middle of a BrickBreaker game. On level 16.

And no, Naruto had to FINISH before I could call her.

So I spent, oh, I don't know...an hour and a half watching condom commercials (you know, for the future) until he was finished beating the god-damned game.

Then I fell asleep.

-

-

-

I woke up, my head feeling ticklish.

Oh, hell no, Naruto.

Lipstick? Really?

Well, at least it was in the form of Harry Potter's scar.

Dear Harry Potter, may you shine your glory forever.

Quote from Sakura.

Anyway, I had my phone back. And I breathed in and out, rehearsing unknown lines and such while rubbing the lipstick off. I told Naruto to go away, and pushed him out the door, locking him outside with three free ramen coupons.

I wouldn't be bothered for a while, hn.

Now I could finish what I planned.

-

-

-

Sitting on the couch where I had slept on, I stared at the phone for a good ten minutes.

Then, my fingers dialed the number.

_Calling: Haruno Sakura_

_555-1234_

"Hello?" a voice answered.

That beautiful voice I wanted to hear every day. The voice that would be screaming out my name.

"Sakura."

Silence.

"Oh, hi Sasuke-kun! You scared me for a second...why are you calling? You never call anybody but Naruto."

Aah.

She was right.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you. About something...serious."

Sakura paused. "I-Is this having to do with...you and Naruto...in a relationship?"

What.

The.

_Fuck_.

"No! Of course not--why the hell would you think that?!" I nearly screamed.

I could hear her shifting uncomfortably over the phone.

"Er, well...you only talk to him and he's the only one that you're close to. So I made an assumption, and--"

"Sakura, I love you."

...

Cricket chrips.

Silence?

More cricket chirps.

_I said it, _I thought to myself, smirking. _I finally said it_.

"Sasuke-kun, are you going to kill yourself?"

Oh--

Fuck my life.

-

-

-

"No, Sakura--it's nothing like that."

"B-But I thought you were emo, manic-depressive, angsty, suicidal...you know."

I sighed.

"Sakura, no. I swear."

"Really, Sasuke-kun, it's hard to believe. I mean, I read all these stories that when people are about to commit suicide, they leave notes or whatever saying they'll love and miss people they cherish."

"Sakura--"

"So what are you going to do? How are you going to enjoy your final moments of life? Rob a bank? Shoot people? Do crazy things I'd never imagine you doing before? Oh wait, this counts as one, but anyway...so, Sasuke-kun, when's the funeral?" she said rather excitedly.

How this topic excited her, I had no clue.

"Sakura, I'm not going to kill myself."

I could see her expression in my mind.

"Good. I'd miss you, you know, Sasuke-kun."

"Aa."

There was silence for a little bit, and I closed my eyes.

"I really do love you, Sakura."

"Is this Itachi? Naruto? Sasuke-kun, I don't think this is you anymore."

Lord, how _dumb _was she?

"It's Sasuke, Sakura."

"What color are my eyes? What's my birth date? What color panties am I wearing?"

I was getting hot at her last question, so I loosened my collar and unzipped my jeans.

"Green. Emerald green. March 28th. And...uhm..."

I could feel Sakura smirking on the other end of the line.

"So it _is _you, Sasuke-kun. Itachi and Naruto would know, you know, since...well, since they're such peeping toms."

Itachi? Naruto? Spying on _Sakura? _Without me?

Fuck them.

"White, Sasuke-kun. They're white."

Aa.

She wears white panties.

Hm, lace? Maybe a matching bra?

"Hello? Sasuke-kun?"

"Sakura, come over here. Right now."

-

-

-

Knock, knock.

Who's there, you may ask?

"Sakura," I said, staring at her.

Mascara, blush, lipstick...and, oh God, she's so beautiful.

I can see her breasts protruding from her top. They're not too big, but not too small. They're simply perfect.

Her petite waist.

I could wrap my arms around it and kiss her senseless, moving down to her flawless neck.

And--

Was she still wearing those white panties?

"Uhm, Sasuke-kun. XYZ," Sakura said, embarrassed, her face red.

I noticed my pants were still unzipped...from the phone call. I zipped them up, unashamed. There was really no use, since I'd be removing them. Soon.

"Come in," I said, holding the door open for her.

She stepped in, eyeing my apartment.

"It's clean...literally immaculate, Sasuke-kun," she mentioned, tilting her head to the side, trying to find any faults.

"Thank you," I said. "It takes a long time to clean up after Naruto."

She laughed.

"I can imagine so, Sasuke-kun."

There was an awkward silence between us. My six-foot frame looked down onto her small 5'3 body.

"Sasuke-kun, did you really mean what you said?"

I closed my eyes and stepped closer to her.

"Yes," I said, leaning down to breathe it in her ear.

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she began breathing heavily, intertwining my hands with hers.

Then, they opened widely, and she began talking away.

"Sasuke-kun, are you saying the truth? I mean one time, you carried Naruto's books for him on the way home from school since he broke his leg and you said you were helping him, when instead you dropped it on his other leg, causing him to break both of them. And then, that time with Karin, you agreed to go out with her because you were annoyed, and then when you picked her up, you dropped her off at the dumpster and the garbage-man dumped her into his truck, and you laughed, and then she got scars and everything and was mad at you, but still fawned over you. And then there was that time--"

I shut her up.

"Mmph! Mmph!"

Kami, she tasted _so _good.

I ran my tongue over her lips, tasting her, savoring her sweet flavor.

Sucking on her lower lip, I kept my hands intertwined with hers, bringing her closer to me. She was on tiptoes, unsure of what to do.

I stuck my tongue into her mouth without permission, and licked hers, wanting it to dance with mine.

"S-Sasuke-kun--"

I broke away. She stood there, blushing, her hands unlocked with mine, behind her back.

"What's wrong? Did I do something bad? Something you didn't like?" I said, worried.

"No, it's not that. It's just--why me? Why here? Why...now?"

I paused.

"Sakura, are you really that stupid?"

"Uhm, _yeah_. Remember?" she said in a "tch" way.

I smirked.

"You, me...bedroom?" I said, placing butterfly kisses on her neck. She shivered in delight.

"Wait--did you say you, me, and--"

"Bedroom?" I finished, placing a love mark in the crook of her shoulder.

"YOU AND ME, BABY, AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT MAMMALS, SO LET'S DO IT LIKE THEY DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!" Sakura sang, grabbing onto my shoulders and jumping up and down, legs around my waist.

"Aa."

I breathed into her ear, and licked her jaw, supporting her with my hands on her bottom.

"You want to do it like they do on the discovery channel, hm?" I smirked, looking at her blushed face.

"Hell _yeah _I do."

-

-

-

I laid her down on the bed, and her legs continued to hold onto my waist.

"Gah, Sasuke-kun, you're so mean," she said as I removed her feet from my hips.

I chuckled at her immaturity.

"You'll get more."

She pursed her lips and tilted her head sideways, that extremely cute way.

I wanted to fuck her senseless, damn, my erection was getting bigger and bigger until it was ready to pop out of my jeans.

But no.

I would make it slow and memorable, and I wouldn't fuck her.

I would make love to her.

"Uhm, hurry up Sasuke-kun. Or I'm ditching you," Sakura said, sighing, impatient.

I closed her eyelids and then my own and pressed my lips onto hers.

She feverishly grabbed my polo and unbuttoned it, taking it off of me. Then she began unbuckling my belt, zipping down my jeans and feeling the shaft in my boxers.

"Naughty, naughty Sa-ku-ra," I murmured, smirking.

To tease her, I pressed my fingers down at her core, which was warm and wet and seeping with her juices.

She moaned.

"Come _on, _Sasuke-kun!"

I took my time, ignoring her pleas for the teasing to stop.

I lifted up her skirt, feeling her bare thigh, tickling it with my fingers. Slowly, I played with the elastic of her panties, before releasing them with a _snap_!

I moved down to kiss her neck, using my teeth to unzip the zipper on her shirt. Her lacy black bra showed her cleavage, and when I ripped the undergarment, two white breasts sprung out.

"Sasuke, hurry the hell up, _now_."

I placed my mouth on her nipples, erect from the temperature.

"Is it cold in my room?"

She 'tched.'

"Obviously, retard."

I chuckled, and began sucking on her buds, loving her moans. With my hand, I massaged her other twin, her nipple in the middle of my fingers.

With the other hand, I moved down to her naval, rubbing around it.

I pressed my erection against her covered womanhood, thrusting in and out, watching and hearing her moan, though I hadn't even penetrated her virginity yet.

"You know, Sasuke, if you're not gonna start anytime soon, I'm going to a strip club," Sakura moaned.

Such a funny little girl.

So with that comment, I ripped off the last article of clothing and kissed her.

Then, I moved down to kiss her womanhood, sticking my tongue into her and out, like I did with her lips.

She tasted _so _good.

Better than tomatoes.

"Aa--oh, Sasuke-kun!"

I inserted one finger, then two, then three--

"Sasuke-kun!"

Back to two fingers.

I removed the two from her body, and began sucking on the liquids.

"Do you want to taste yourself, Sakura-_chan_?"

She grabbed my arm and placed her mouth over my fingers.

"Mm."

I pushed her back down onto the bed.

"I'll be gentle, I promise," I muttered, removing my boxers.

"No way, buddy. You're going to fuck me as fast as you can, okay?" she said, pouting.

Screw that, I was totally gonna listen to her.

"Here I go," I said, positioning myself.

"Wait, wait, wait--" she said, just as I was about to be inside her.

"...Yes?" I said, impatient myself.

"Condom."

My eyes closed.

"Right. Let me go get one," I said, muttering in frustration.

-

-

-

"You say the weirdest things _ever,_" Sakura mentioned as she played with my hair. We were on the sofa, watching the newest episode of House.

"During sex?" I mentioned. "Or in my sleep?"

"Both."

I sighed.

"I do _not, _Sakura."

"Yes, you _do_! Sasuke-kun, last night, right after you fell asleep when we had sex, you said in your sleep, _Oh, Mr. Potato head--how I long to stick my glorious ten inches into you, and breed, BREED many potato babies and feed them to the hungry Irishmen._"

Lies.

"I did _not_."

"Yes, you _did _Sasuke-kun."

I sighed. "Fine, Sakura, I did. Happy?"

She smiled mischievously.

"Another round would make me happier."

"My pleasure."

So as I stripped her of her clothing and she of mine, we mated like Wild Animals on the fuh-reakin' Discovery Channel.

"I'm back, teme! How did it go with Sakura-chan...OHMYGOD." Naruto gaped, his jaw to the floor.

We didn't really care that he was there.

Just kept doing each other senseless.

"Mind if I join in?" Naruto said, beginning to unzip his jacket.

Through Sakura and my heated kiss, I panted, "Ten ramen coupons. On the counter. Take them and _leave_."

"Woohoooo!" Naruto yelled as he began grabbing the tickets and heading back to Icharaku.

"Mm, Sasuke-kun. I love you."

"I do too."

-

-

-

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

"Hello?"

"Sasuke-kun, I love you."

Silence.

"Karin, are you gonna kill yourself?"

"Yes, if you don't love me back!"

"Well, I don't. Now go die in a corner far off someplace and leave me be."

"Sauce-kayyy!"

_End _button.

"So, Sasuke-kun, _are _yougoing to kill yourself?" Sakura asked, on top of me.

I smirked. "Maybe...if I don't get some love and some kids, you know."

"Well, I can prevent the teenage death."

Kiss.

Making out.

Touching.

Screwing each other senseless.

Ring. Ring.

"Yeah?" I picked up, annoyed.

"Hey Sas, it's Suigetsu. Karin killed herself. Well, I don't know yet, but Juugo's poking the corpse. Oh--oh wait, her bowels came out. She's dead now, right?"

_End _button.

"So we were just getting to the love and kids, right?" I said, positioning myself again.

* * *

**eghhh...sry for the late update and some topics that might be considered offensive or w/e. so sorry about that. **

**DDDx**

**i will update asap, blahblahblah...i need inspiration, have all the time in the world, etc. etc. etc.**

**anyway, did you all have a happy thanksgiving? and if your'e jewish, happy hanukkah! (i'm chinese so...idk how it works out lol). **

**and also, have a merry christmas that's comin' up!**

**anyone gonna be under the mistletoe, hm? -winkwink-**

**love always xoxo,**

**ohh, &&xena**


	15. Honesty

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifteen. itachi's pov.  
**FML o15: Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML**

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**special note: **in itachi's pov. special time!

**summary:** Today, I found out that my little brother isn't really gay. He just told the family that so that I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. It just so happens he chose the girl _I _like. FML. (Slight ItaSaku).

* * *

**.o15.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**H**_o_n**e**_s_t**y**

**-**

"I'm gay."

Kaa-san spit out her water, tou-san simply 'hmped,' and I raised an eyebrow.

I knew it.

"With _who_?" Kaa-san asked, banging her fist on the table and glaring the famous death glare at Aniki.

"Is it Naruto, the blonde boy?" Tou-san said, slightly interested, placing his chopsticks down on his ramen.

"Or...or that..._sand _boy, with the makeup and the red hair?"

"The artist?" I mused.

Sasuke sighed.

"Yes. Mother, father—I had sex with all of them. If it makes you feel better, I used protection."

Kaa-san was in tears, and tou-san simply excused himself from the table.

"Well, foolish little brother. I guess this means that you're allowed to have girls over."

"Can they go in my room? You know, to play Halo and such with my gay—er, guy friends."

"Whatever."

Cleaning up the dishes, I failed to notice the smirk out of the corner of my eye.

-

-

-

"Sa-ku-ra," I purred, my voice deep and seductive.

"Yes, Itachi?" she said.

Uh oh.

She was on her period.

With that tone of voice.

"I missed you," I said, breathing through the telephone receiver.

"I betcha did."

"How 'bout we engage in a little..._phone _sex?" I murmured, unzipping my jeans.

"Itachi, I'm going to play games with Sasuke-kun."

I growled, my hand clutching the phone.

"I don't get a —_kun_? Sakura-_chan, _I'm hurt," I feigned.

She sighed. "I'm his best friend, besides Naruto."

"Aa. Fine."

"So I'm gonna go."

"Wait!" I said, nearly yelling.

"Yes?" she said, her voice getting frustrated again.

"Kiss me thru the phoneee," I started to sing.

She hung up on me.

_No _one hangs up on Uchiha Itachi.

Especially when he's singing Soulja Boy.

-

-

-

_Knock. Knock._

One short and one long.

It was Sakura's personal knock, not the—

Doo, doodoo, doo, doo—doo doo!

I hope you knew what I meant. It's hard to explain music through fanfiction.

Anyway.

"Hi, Itachi. I'm going to Sasuke's room now."

I stopped her with my arm, admiring her two inch heels and short red summer dress.

"You look—" I licked my lips. "Sexy," I said, murmuring in her ear.

She made a face of disgust and pushed me away.

"Off. Don't touch me, 'tachi."

I pouted, and she simply 'hmped!' and walked to Aniki's room upstairs.

She turned around, faced me, and said—

"Is Naruto there?"

I paused.

"Not yet, but I'll come."

"No thanks," she said.

I felt...

Well.

Unwanted.

And little Mister Itachi did not want to feel unwanted.

-

-

-

After about an hour or so, Naruto still did not come.

Perhaps he forgot, was busy, or...

Mm.

Slowly, I trudged upstairs, and knocked (you know, since I'm an awesome brother) on his door.

"Hey, Sasuke? 'niki? You there?"

All I heard was moaning, a few creaks of...the bed? Oh, and was that a...

"Sakura, I love you."

I shrugged.

Probably just my imagination.

After all, I do have dirty fantasies.

And watch porn.

And photoshop my face and darling Sakura's face onto the porn.

And then masturbate.

And then go have sex with a blow-up mannequin doll.

With Sakura's face on it.

Mm.

Wait, was that an, "I love you too, Sasuke-kun?"

I think I drank too much alcohol. My head hurts.

-

-

-

Four hours later, Sakura came downstairs, where she saw me watching TV.

"Hi," she said, straightening her dress and fixing her hair.

"Hey. Fun time?" I asked.

"Yup. It's always nice to be with your brother, Itachi."

I turned off the TV.

"Are you okay? You seem...disheveled."

She sighed. "Yeah, Sasuke-kun and I...you know, playing games...like, well, love games and such."

I raised my eyebrow.

"Love games?"

She immediately turned pink, and said, "Online, I mean. You know. He told me he was gay. And he said, 'Sakura, I have to come out of the closet.' And then he told me, literally while coming out of the closet."

"Aa. Come here."

Nervously, she sat down on the edge of the sofa, next to me, fiddling with the ends of her dress.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, I brought her down to lay next to me.

"I like you, _Sa-ku-ra_."

She wiggled uncomfortably.

"We're not going out, Itachi. Just cut the crap, please," she..._begged_?

"That's what you think," I mumbled, my hand on her thigh, sliding up.

"No, that's what _you _think," she said, pushing my hand off.

I looked her in the eye.

"Have you ever been kissed by someone?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Yes."

I mentally cursed.

"Are you a virgin?"

I saw Sakura's lips purse, and then she said, finally, "Yes."

Chuckling, I reached back and began unzipping her dress.

"I'll show you what it feels like to..."

I paused.

"To be taken by a man."

She slapped me, and left, 'hmping' rather...well, snobbishly.

"Don't touch me," she muttered.

So out she went.

Into the wild.

The.._.outside_.

With rapists and little boys and...and...

FREDDY VERSUS JASON.

Oh, the _pain_!

-

-

-

"Hi, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said as she picked up her ringing phone.

"Hello, love," Sasuke murmured seductively through the receiver. "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks."

There was only heavy breathing heard.

"Hey Sakura?"

"Hm, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke breathed deeply.

"I just wanted to make sure that you know I love you."

She giggled.

"I love you too, Sasuke-kun."

"I want to make love to you all night long."

Sakura's eyes closed, and she almost dropped the phone.

"Sakura?"

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"I love you."

Sakura smiled.

Little did they know—

Mister Itachi heard the _whole _conversation.

-

-

-

He's not _gay?!_

What.

The.

Fuckity.

Fuck.

That little...

Out of _every _girl, every _woman—_

He had to choose the one that _I _like.

Rolling up my sleeves, I clenched my fists.

It was _over _with them.

She would be mine.

Mine.

_MINE_.

(And no one else's).

-

-

-

_"_You _whore_!" I shouted, barging into Sasuke's room, looking at him reading a book on the bed.

For the bazillionth time, he was reading...

"Nancy Drew?" I asked, confused.

He sighed.

"Sakura and I made a bet. If she could finish my childhood classic, The Hardy Boys first before I finished hers, Nancy Drew, I'd do whatever she wanted for a day, and vice versa."

I loosened up a bit.

And then remembered why I came here.

"What the _fuck _were you thinking when you stole..._her_! Sakura! From _me_!" I said, grabbing Sasuke by his collar.

His lips curled up into a smirk.

"I'm gay, remember, Itachi?"

Kicking him in the groin, he groaned in pain, but continued to have that same smirk on his face.

"Foolish older brother," he said, mocking my words.

I hate him. So, so much.

-

-

-

"Itachi? Hey, it's Sakura," she said, while I picked up the phone.

"Hn."

I wasn't in the mood. For anything.

Not even for her.

"Hey—'tachi, are you there? Oh, if you're not, then...well—"

I continued listening. Not even breathing.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry things didn't go out the way you wanted to, but you'll find someone just as good...or better than me."

Still silent.

"You're like Naruto—both of you are brothers to me. And I love you both very, very much."

"Aa," I said.

"Bye-bye, Itachi-kun."

Click.

_End of call—2:07 minutes._

I guess that's how things are.

-

-

-

"Mom, dad—I'm not gay. I only told you so that I could have Sakura in my room. I love her, kaa-san. And I want her to be your daughter-in-law."

Kaa-san almost fainted, and tou-san even gasped.

"S-Sakura? Haruno Sakura? _That _darling?!"

"Hai."

Kaa-san cried, tears of joy.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, you've made me the happiest mother in the world!"

Tou-san smirked, and folded his arms.

And maybe I even felt happy for him.

So as kaa-san showered him with kisses, on top of the ones that Sakura-hime placed on him, I smirked and flicked his forehead.

"Foolish little brother."

* * *

**...yah.**

**piece of crap but w/e.**

**teehee.**

**kthxbai. review plawks. hoping for 300 by the 20th chpter.**

**loveuall.**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	16. Wedding Gone Wrong

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifteen. itachi's pov.  
**FML o16: Today I found out that not all grooms come to the wedding. FML./Today, I woke up and found out I had 42 missed calls. I was so drunk, I missed my wedding. FML.**

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**special note: **dedicated to sweet(dot)crazy-dramaqueen, for being my lovie and finishing another chapter of her FANTABULOUS story, in the palm of my hands. chap 14: BEST LOVEMAKING EVER. read. now.

**summary:** Today, I found out that even though men are the one who propose, it doesn't mean that they'll show up for the wedding. FML.

* * *

**.o16.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**W**_e_d**d**_i_n**g **_G_o**n**_e _W**r**_o_n**g**

**-**

I swear, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

I planned the _whole _thing out, from the Church to the decorations.

Everything should've went perfectly!

But it didn't.

Why?

No, nothing caught on fire. Thank God.

Nothing was out of place, besides the fact that screaming women were trying to kill me with said fire.

The food was fine, not within Chouji's reach...

So why was it bad?

Let's just say that even though men are the ones who propose to us women, it doesn't necessarily mean that they'll show up for the wedding.

Fuck my life.

-

-

-

_"Sakura."_

_Sasuke held my hand while I looked at him._

_"Hm? Something wrong, Sasuke-kun?"_

_"No, nothing."_

_We continued walking, while I raised an eyebrow at him._

_We sat under our favorite tree, the twelve-year-old Sakura tree._

_(Teehee)._

_He continued to hold my hand._

_"Sakura?"_

_"What?"_

_With our hands still connected, he told me to stand up._

_Then, he kneeled down, and whispered—_

_"Will you marry me?"_

_I was half crying, half laughing._

_"Of course, baka! Silly, silly, Sasuke-kun," I sobbed, jumping in his arms and hugging him._

_He chuckled._

_"Of course."_

He was passionate at that time. Still is, you know.

But the bastard just didn't come.

He.

Didn't.

_Come_.

Maybe he forgot, or something?

No, Sasuke-kun never forgets anything. Ever.

I began to cry, my mascara running down my cheeks.

-

-

-

Sitting on the pews, people comforted me as I sobbed, holding the bouquet in my hands.

"It's okay, Sakura-chan. He probably had something to do, something special," Naruto said, patting my arm.

"He wouldn't be this late," I muttered.

Hinata handed me a handkerchief.

"Thank you," I whispered, blowing my nose.

The crowd of screaming women cheered, and I eventually yelled at them to get the hell out of there.

To stop ruining my friggin' day.

-

-

-

He woke up, his head hurting, and saw the turmoil of his house from the previous night.

Beer bottles, pizza cases, leftover ramen...

That was some bachelor party.

Really.

Moaning, he crawled towards his digital clock.

12:08, it read.

Sasuke sighed. "Midnight? Already? Damn."

He lied back down on the sofa, feeling he could grab a few more hours of sleep before the wedding.

Then he noticed that Sakura wasn't there.

Sitting abruptly, he called out, "Sakura?"

No response.

Though it was a bachelor party, he had to have his fiance there.

"Sakura?" he said, a little louder.

Cricket chirps.

Literally.

Sasuke held his hand to his forehead, experiencing a huge hangover. With one hand, he crawled towards his medicine cabinet, popping an aspirin into his mouth.

Then, he went over to the foyer and grabbed his phone.

**42 Missed Calls**

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he checked the call history.

_Haruno Sakura (12:57 PM)_

_Haruno Sakura (12:54 PM)_

_Uzumaki Naruto (12:52 PM)_

_Haruno Sakura (12:51 PM)_

And the list went on, and on, and on.

Exiting to the main screen, he muttered, "Oh shit," and quickly got up, tripping over the mess his friends had made last night.

Pulling on his blue and red striped tie, he fixed it while placing on his (not so clean anymore) white dress shirt. With a belt buckle made of snake leather, he fastened it around his waist, with a pair of black dress pants and a tux coat over it, matching with a rose in his breastpocket.

He rushed out the door, ignoring the headache he had, not minding hygiene or hunger, and jumped in his Ferrari Enzo, turning on the ignition and driving as fast as that racecar could go.

-

-

-

"He's not picking up," I said, my cheeks caked with dried tears and mascara.

Hinata put her arm around me, and I laid my head on her shoulder.

"Thanks, guys," I muttered. Hinata and Naruto each held one of my hands, and placed them comfortably on my thighs.

"That's what friends are for, hm?" Hinata smiled.

I tried to smile back. She was so pretty, with her crown of leaves and berries, and her long, silky violet hair curled at the tips. Her eyes were emphasized with long lashes of mascara, and red lipstick coated her pretty lips.

She was so beautiful, and I was so jealous. But she was my best friend, and I loved her. The best bridesmaid ever.

And for Naruto—

His hair still continued to have that spiky sense to it, though he tried to gel it down. Like Sasuke-kun.

His smile was bright as ever, and he dressed reasonably well—a tuxedo that Jiraiya helped put him on, fancy leather shoes, and even a cummerbund.

The only thing that ruined it was the bright orange tie, dotted with 57 different bowls of ramen.

And I knew what I was going to do.

"You know, guys—"

They "hmed?" me and looked up.

"If Sasuke-kun's not going to be here, we still need a wedding."

Naruto raised his eyebrow.

"What are you say—"

Our hands were still intertwined with each others, and I made them both stand up and walk to the alter.

The remaining people left (which weren't very many) looked at the front.

I released my hands and had Naruto and Hinata connect theirs together.

The priest, who had left, placed the Bible on his stand.

Grabbing it, I smiled.

"Do you, Uzumaki Naruto, take Hyuuga Hinata to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Naruto paused, then stared into Hinata's eyes and smiled.

"I do, dattebayo."

I giggled, but continued.

"Do you, Hyuuga Hinata, take Uzumaki Naruto to be your husband, through sickness and in health and all that other crap."

Hinata was tearing, her mascara running down her cheeks exactly like mine did.

"I do."

"If there is anyone who objects to this marriage, please say—"

"I OBJECT!" a voice came from the crowd.

Everyone turned to look who it was. Neji, his eyes a dark opal color, shouted, "HINATA-CHAN. You cannot marry him! He is a rapist, I tell you, a _rapist_!"

I "ahemed."

"If there is anyone who objects to his marriage _besides _Neji, please say so."

Neji shrieked with anger, and I laughed, as did Naruto and Hinata.

"No one? Mm, alright. Naruto, you may kiss the bride."

And he brought her in for a passionate, loving kiss, something they had wanted to do for so, so long.

"I love you," he murmured to her, smiling.

"I-I love you too, Naruto-kun," she whispered, snuggling in his chest.

I closed the Bible and put it back on the stand.

"Hallelujah," I laughed.

-

-

-

Sasuke ran three stop lights, ran over a stop sign, nearly crashed into seven cars, and almost killed forty pedestrians. At one time.

"I'm coming, Sakura, damnit."

He could hear the sirens behind him, but he ignored it and stepped on the pedal even harder.

Until he was stopped by an officer in front of him.

-

-

-

"Sir, do you know what you've just done?" the officer asked.

Sasuke sighed.

"I need to get to a wedding. It's an emergency."

"Not until you realize what you've done."

Sasuke groaned, counting the list of traffic violations he had done.

The officer 'tched.'

"I don't care about that. But sir, you violated a sign."

"What sign? The stop sign?" he said.

"No, the deer sign! Didn't you see it?! If you look behind you," the officer pointed, "You just killed Bambi's mother! No, she wasn't shot by a hunter, as all of you thought, you _killed _her!"

"Whatever."

"Have a nice day, sir."

The officer walked away, not even giving Sasuke a ticket.

Life is good.

For him.

Sometimes.

-

-

-

"I'm here," Sasuke said, out of breath as he burst into the room.

My eyes widened, and Hinata and Naruto pulled apart from their kissing.

"You _bastard_," I whispered. Nonetheless, he was here, and I ran to him, jumping onto him.

"Sasuke-kun, you baka," I cried, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You baka, baka, baka..."

"I'm sorry," he muttered, burying his face in my hair. "Sakura, I'm so sorry..."

I jumped off of him, looked him in the eye, and slapped him across the fce.

"I guess I deserved that," he muttered.

"You sure did, bitch."

There was an awkward silence, and everyone was staring at us.

"I love you, Sakura," he whispered, breaking the silence.

I began to cry again, newly put on mascara dripping down my cheeks the second time.

"Sasuke-kun."

"We're here, so why don't we—Sakura, where's the priest?"

"We don't need one," Naruto smiled, holding Hinata's hand. "I'm here, dattebayo!"

I laughed through my tears, and Sasuke smirked.

"Then lead the way, dobe."

Sasuke held my hand in his, crushing it with his strong crip.

Then, he let go, and snaked his arm around my waist.

"Do you, Uchiha Sasuke, take Haruno Sakura to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Sasuke smirked, and then, _smiled _at me. He'd never smiled. At anyone, not even me.

"Of course."

"And do you, Haruno Sakura, take Uchiha Sasuke to be your husband, through PMS, childbirth, and your usual bitchiness?"

I growled, but ignored him.

"I do."

"Then, damnit, Sasuke, kiss the fucking bride and go make some babies!" Naruto shouted, throwing the Bible in the air and catching it again, placing it back on the stand to kiss Hinata one more time.

Sasuke brought me close to him, and I could feel him hardening against me.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing me.

"Aishiteru, Sasuke-kun."

Naruto blasted on stereos, and a drum was heard from them. Then, a techno rhythm followed it.

_Forget about your boyfriend, and meet me in the hotel room—_

_You can bring your girlfriends, and meet me in the hotel room—_

Hinata blushed furiously, but the song continued.

_We at the Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn!_

Sasuke smirked and nuzzled his nose with mine.

"Are you ready?" he whispered, nipping my lip.

"Hell _yeah, _babe," I said, laughing while he carried me to his car.

* * *

_"Sasuke-kun! He just kicked," I laughed, clutching my belly._

_He chuckled, and kissed my nose._

_"I love you, Sakura."_

_"I love you too."_

_He placed a hand under my chin._

_"Thank you for making me the happiest man alive."_

_And he leaned in to press his lips to mine._

* * *

**gayalertgayalertgayalert.**

**ughhh. failsauce. literally. Dx**

**ilyall.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	17. Please Touch

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble seventeen. sasuke's pov.  
**FML o17: Today, I went to a please-touch museum. I got kicked out for touching stuff. FML.**

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**special note: **I DO NOT WISH TO OFFEND ANYONE WHO HAS ADHD.

**summary:** Today, I took my ADHD diagnosed girlfriend to a please-touch museum. Turns out, I had more fun than she did. FML.

* * *

**.o17.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**P**_l_e**a**_s_e **T**_o_u**c**_h _

**-**

"Hey, Sasuke-kunnn?" Sakura said, dragging out my name like no end. Again.

We were on the bed, with some quiet music on and a muted TV.

"Yes, love?"

"Kiss me," she commanded, pouting.

I chuckled at her behaviour, and stroked her hair.

"Of course."

I leaned over, and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, then finally her lips.

Soon, she tugged at my hair and began to moan, while I wrapped my arms around her waist, and her fingers trailed up under my shirt and began feeling my chest.

My hands then moved up to her flat, creamy stomach, and then under her breasts.

It didn't matter that she wasn't the bustiest woman I've ever seen, or the girl who knew just how to make you feel—then again, I hadn't dated anyone besides Sakura.

But she was perfect.

And she was mine, all mine.

Suddenly, I was on top of her, my hand under her back to support her, and her hands were on my shoulders.

The farthest we'd gotten to ever was feeling each other up.

So this was a step ahead.

"Mm, Sasuke-kun," she moaned.

I smirked, and began lifting up her shirt, reaching back to take off that bra—

"OHMYGAWSH. Sasuke-kun, look, it's a canary!" Sakura shrieked as she pushed me off, her shirt falling back in place while she jumped up and down at the window, making tweeting noises to the damn yellow bird.

Oh, did I mention?

She has ADHD.

-

-

-

"Sakura, get back here," I said, groaning in frustration. "We weren't done yet."

She ignored me, and kept hopping up on her toes.

"Sasuke-kun, isn't it so pretty? See, the yellow and the black match, just like a bumblebee! Zoom, zoom!" she said, making sound effects.

I facepalmed myself.

"Sakura, did you take your medicine?"

She looked at me, and cocked her head.

"Uhm...I think so, why?"

I frowned.

"You have to take it everyday."

She pouted. Then, her eyes widened.

"Sasuke-kun! Is that a new clock? Aa, it's so pretty! I want to touch it!" she said, running towards the antique.

I sighed, watching her spin the hour-hand and the minute-hand 'round and 'round and 'round.

"Sakura, do you want to go somewhere?"

She hopped up in the bed and onto my lap.

"Ooh, can we go to the 7-11? Or maybe the Cinema nearby? Avatar is showing! I wanna watch it again! Or, or, or—what about K-mart? They have good deals on baby-making kits, I've heard! **(a/n: calvin && hobbes.)**"

I wrapped my arm around her waist and snuggled my head in her breasts.

"You're so stupid sometimes," I muttered.

She laughed.

"Of course I am!"

I kissed her forehead and took her by the wrist.

"I'll take you somewhere special—somewhere you've always wanted to go to."

-

-

-

"Sasuke-kun, how'd you know?!" she shrieked as I bought two tickets for us at the booth.

"Why wouldn't I? After all, I am your other half." I smirked.

She cuddled my arm and kissed my cheek.

"I lurveee you, Sasuke-kun," she said, stressing the word.

"And I you," I replied back, my lips meeting with hers.

She giggled, and clutched my arm as we went in.

Reading the sign out loud, she said, "Welcome to the Konoha Children's Please Touch Museum."

Good for her.

Now I know she's not linguistically retarded.

-

-

-

She went through several places, most of which I couldn't catch up to her.

"Sasuke-kun! This feels smooth!" or "Sasuke-kun, that hurt me!" and of course, "Wow, Sasuke-kun, it's so big!"

Not to mention that those phrases are the appropriate time to say "That's what she said."

Literally.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun! This feels itchy," Sakura said, tugging on the object.

"Owwh, Sakura-chan! That's not nice!" Naruto said, ramen flavored ice cream in one hand, the other on Sakura's wrist.

"Sakura, let go of the dobe's hair."

"Hmph. Fine. Naruto, you need to wash your hair. There are little eggies in there."

I took her to the nearest hand sanitizer dispenser and cleansed her hands before anything happened to her sweet, beautiful scalp.

-

-

-

I was strolling with her, watching her go from place to place touching things. My hands were in my pockets, and she laughed at me.

"Loosen up, Sasuke-kun!" she said.

"Hn."

Grabbing my hand, she told me to touch a stingray in the aquatic area.

"Feel it, Sasuke-kun?"

It was slippery, wet, and gross.

Ewwh.

"Yeah."

She frowned, then dragged me to another booth.

"How about this one?"

I touched an eel, and felt it slide under my skin.

"That's nasty."

She laughed.

"Go touch some more things!" she said, shooing me.

"Wait, Sakura—"

"Go, go, go, Mister!" she yelled.

Sigh.

What to do now?

-

-

-

I went to each booth, browsing. My wet hands were still in my pockets.

"Hello, sir, would you like to touch this?" a man asked, holding up some polished rock.

"Hn."

The man frowned, then grabbed my wrist.

Apparently, everyone seems to think wrist-grabbing is the new fad.

He placed my hand on the rock, and it was...it felt...good?

Not in the sexual way, you pervert.

Oh wait, I _am _one. Therefore, I cannot call _you _a pervert.

Anyway.

"Wow. What else do you have?" I said out of nowhere.

The man smirked, and pulled out a variety of objects.

I began touching away.

-

-

-

"You can touch _me,_" the girls sang as I walked past their booths. Their shirts were too tight, their skirts were too short, and they were fat.

Freakin'.

Fat.

"Hn."

I ignored them while I kept walking along, trying to avoid wrist-grabbing.

Through each aisle, I ran, touching things, smooth, hard, rocky, furry, slippery, cold, hot, basically _everything_.

It felt so, so good.

I was having so much fun.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun! I finally found you! How was it?" Sakura said, skipping up to me with remains of strawberry ice cream on her lips.

"Hn."

I think I had more fun than she did.

FML.

-

-

-

Grumbling, my shoulders were hunched, and my hands were in my pockets again.

Sakura skipped next to me, being too happy, telling me about all the things she felt.

"So that one was cold, and that one was smooth, and then the other one was pointy, and it hurt!"

"Aa."

She frowned.

"Is something wrong, Sasuke-kun?"

"No, nothing."

I shook my head, so that my hair fell in front of my eyes.

I felt so childish, having participated in these...silly things. For Sakura, I could understand, but this—

Was too much.

"Let's go home, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, motioning for a taxi.

-

-

-

I unlocked the door using the house key, and sat down on the sofa, crossing my legs.

No, my package was not squished. I'm not saying it's small, it's just that I was...er, wearing a cup. Yeah.

Sakura snuggled next to me, and my natural reflex was to push away when I was angry.

"Sasuke-kun, just tell me what's wrong."

I sighed.

"Don't laugh, Sakura."

"Why would I laugh?"

Letting out a sigh, I pursed my lips to find the right words.

"I—I..._enjoyed _it," I muttered, my pride sinking lower and lower.

She stifled a giggle.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, you scared me! I thought it was something much more serious."

I placed my hand on my forehead, ashamed to even look at her.

She climbed onto my lap and cupped my cheeks.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun. You know that."

"Hn."

"Let me ask you a question—did you have fun? At the museum. What was your favorite thing to touch?"

"That's two questions."

Sakura sighed. "Answer both, please?"

"Yes. I had fun. And my favorite thing to touch was a durian."

She got off of my lap and walked to my bedroom, coming out with my black MacBook.

"What are you—careful with that!"

Sakura's face remained the same, and she typed in a YouTube URL.

"What do you want to show me this time? Charlie and the Unicorn? NigaHiga? Wait, are you going to make me watch Fred with you again?"

She smiled, and was on top of me, making me lie down on the sofa while she hovered over me.

Music was playing in the background.

"What song is this?" I asked.

She ignored me, and I peered my head over to look at the title.

Sakura blocked my view, and smiled.

"Sasuke-kun, would you like to touch me?"

My eyes widened, and my pupils dilated.

"What?"

_I know that you been waitin' for it, I'm waitin' too,_

_In my imagination I be all up on you..._

I was surprised that Sakura would choose this song, especially after she'd asked me that question. It—it didn't seem _like _her.

She kissed my fingers, and snuggled into my chest.

"Please touch me, Sasuke-kun."

I closed my eyes, and began unzipping her sweatshirt, watching it fall to the floor. She smiled and kissed my nose.

"No need to take your time."

_If there's a camera up in there, then I best not catch this flick on YouTube, YouTube..._

I lifted her up and over my shoulder, her in one arm and the laptop in the other.

"The blood's rushing to my head, Sasuke-kun!" she squealed.

I chuckled, and plugged the MacBook in while I laid her on the bed.

"You're sure?" I asked, wanting to confirm that she was okay with the idea.

"Of course, silly!"

Pulling her shirt up, I tried to be sexy and unhook her bra with my teeth.

"Shit," I muttered, unable to get it open.

She laughed, and reached behind to do it for me.

"Here, Sasuke-kun."

My pride sunk even lower, but it was slowly rising, like the erection I was having.

Her breasts were beautiful—they weren't big, and they weren't small. Her skin looked like an angel's—pure, innocent, and white.

She began breathing heavily. I nuzzled my nose with hers.

"You know, you can tell me when to stop," I said.

"Okay."

Her nipples were turning erect from the temperature in my room. Teasing her, I flicked one, and she squeaked.

"Not funny!" she pouted.

I began rubbing each breast, wanting to make her beg for my mouth.

"Oh, aa—Sasuke-kun..." she moaned, her neck arched and her lips opened.

She pulled my T-shirt over my head, and began to finger my chest, going down to my belt buckle.

"Not yet."

She frowned, and I put my lips on hers, then on her hard buds.

"Sasuke-kun!" she squealed, half laughing.

"What's so funny?"

She looked at me. "I-I'm ticklish, Sasuke-kun."

I raised an eyebrow.

_'Cause they be all up in my business like a Wendy interview,_

_But this is private, between you and I..._

I placed kisses around her navel. She grabbed my head, when I decided to try again and remove her skirt with my teeth.

I was successful. Throwing it across the room, I ripped off her wet panties at the same time she pulled down my boxers, revealing a cupless member pointing towards the sky.

"Sasuke-kun," she whispered. "I've never done it before."

"I haven't either," I said, comforting her. She did not whimper, but trusted me, digging her nails in my back, though I hadn't gotten inside her yet.

I positioned myself, and she closed her eyes, her fingers digging deeper into my flesh.

"I'll be gentle."

The second I was in her, she sang along with the song, "TOUCH MY BODY!"

FML.

-

-

-

I don't mind that she has ADHD—I really don't care. But if it bothers me the second _just _when we're about to have sex, then yes, it does bother me.

She cocked her head back and forth, my tip still in her.

"Put me on the floor, wrestle me around, play with me some more," she sang with Mariah.

"Sakura."

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

I sighed. "Are we going to do this, or not?"

She frowned. "Of course we are!"

Then, I grabbed her hips, and rubbed against hers. Up, down, up, down...

"Ackk!" she moaned.

I closed my eyes, and began going faster.

And faster.

And faster.

"Sasuke-kun!" she shrieked.

I threw her on the ground, and my lips went to her womanhood, licking up her juices, savoring the taste. My hands were on her hips, and my tongue did the same as my cock.

I preferred my tongue—my damn dick couldn't let me taste any of her sweetness. She moaned, pulling my hair.

"Get on your hands and knees," I said. She obediently was on her four limbs, and gripping her thighs, I put myself in, listening to her commands.

"Deeper, Sasuke-kun," she screamed. "Harder, oh—aa!"

White liquid oozed out of her, and me, but we continued going.

_Touch my body, throw me on the bed—_

_I just wanna make you feel like you never did..._

"My turn."

She pushed us back onto the mattress, and placed her small hand around my cock. Rubbing it up and down, I couldn't help but grown in pleasure.

That girl gave a damn good hand-job.

She placed her lips around the tip, and began sucking my cum, making slurping noises. Putting more in, I placed my hands on her head and thrust into her. Climaxing, she swallowed the rest of me, while the other parts were on the bed.

_Touch my body, let me wrap my thighs,_

_All around your waist, just a little taste..._

Her arms were around my neck, and mine were under her waist. Her thighs were wrapped around my waist, and her feet were crossed.

I went in her, slowly, at first, and faster, speeding up my pace.

"I want you," she whimpered. "Sasuke-kun, I _need _you!"

"Sakura..." I murmured, but all my energy was put into us, the way that we shared one body.

"Put your hands on me," she ordered.

_Touch my body, know you like my curves,_

_C'mon, give me what I deserve, and touch my body..._

My hands grabbed hold of her breasts while she rode me.

We were panting, and this experience was nothing like ever before. Nothing, _nothing, _could compare to this.

She moved up and down, quicker and quicker, and finally let out a sigh of pleasure before dropping to my side, fingering herself and tasting her essence.

"Mm. Not as good as you, Sasuke-kun," she muttered.

_Touch my body,_

_Touch my body,_

_Touch my body..._

The song ended, and I held her tight, snuggling my head in her hair.

"Sakura, I love you."

"I love you too, Sasuke-kun. Of course I do. Haha!" she giggled, wrapping a blanket around us.

I chuckled, and kissed her lips.

"I love you more than you love me."

She pouted. "You're such a liar, Sasuke-kun! But I can't help but be flattered."

I kissed her again, and held her tight.

Sakura's eyes widened.

"OOH! Sasuke-kun! Look at this!"

She jumped out of the white stained bed and stretched an item out, observing it intently.

"It feels rubbery, like latex. Ewwh! But it's so stretchy, and I can fit it over my head, and I think it's meant for something because it's shaped like a test tube, but...Sasuke-kun, what is this?" she asked.

Oh.

_Fuck_.

* * *

**i know it sucked. rawr.**

**sorry for the late update. and again, i'll say, I DONT WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE WITH ADHD. if this offended you, i truly am sorry. =( i don't have a problem with epople who have adhd, because my friends have it and i love them very much, as much as i love you. =D**

**go mariah carey!**

**btw, di i tell you this sucked?**

**love youuhhhh.**

**xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	18. Body Fluids

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble eighteen. third person.  
**FML o18: I have the flu, food poisoning, and my period. I've got enough fluids coming out of various holes to fill a sewer. FML.**

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:** Sakura has just been "blessed" with the flu, food poisoning, and her period. She's got enough body fluids flowing out various holes to fill up a sewer. Sasuke just so happens to be the one who has to take care of her. FML.

* * *

**.o18.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**B**_o_d**y **_F_l**u**_i_d**s**

**-**

"REHHHH."

Splotch.

Green stains made drip sounds on the tile floor.

Splish, splash.

The imitation of Naruto having too much spoiled milk while excess water was being released.

Moaning.

Pulling out tampons and chocolate from the bathroom drawer.

Yup, Haruno Sakura was a lucky woman.

And her boyfriend Sasuke just had to be the one she vented her anger on.

-

-

-

She was currently emptying herself in the bathroom, her body getting rid of all fluids--both good and bad.

"Sakura? You okay, love?" Sasuke knocked, his ear on the door.

She opened the door slowly, before the stench of puke, blood, and feces overwhelmed him.

With bloodshot eyes and pale skin, she growled, "Do I _look _okay?"

Before he could respond, she shut the door, and he frowned, hoping his girlfriend would be okay.

-

-

-

"I wonder what it's like to be a woman, you know, teme? I mean, you get PMS every month, and you bleed like crazy, with the cramps, and then you're expected to live your life 20 pounds underweight, and also you have to stay a virgin and stuff or else you get called a slut! I mean, really! Plus, you get teased if your boobs are too small and if you're not pretty enough or popular or on the cheerleading squad, and you get soooo emotional! And they gossip all the time, with boys and stuff. Really! I don't get it!" Naruto said, talking on the phone to his troubled friend.

"Dobe, shut up."

"Why, teme? Got your G-string stuck in your ass?"

Sasuke growled, his eyes turned into slits.

"Dobe, I swear, I will fucking come to your house and _cut _you--"

"Sasuke-kunnn," Sakura moaned, thumping noises in the bathroom.

"Gotta go," Sasuke muttered, pressing the END button before knocking on the bathroom door.

"Anything wrong, love? Do you want anything?" he asked.

Slowly, she opened the door, the room smelling of stink and Febreze.

"Sasuke-kun, I feel like I'm dying. Scratch that, I _am _dying," Sakura moaned, clawing at the door before crawling to the toilet and throwing up again.

He stroked her damp hair.

"You need water, Sakura. You're dehydrated."

She clutched her stomach, and grabbed his wrist.

"Get some before your little cherry blossom withers and dies, you bastard!"

He sighed.

Damn PMS.

And the flu.

And food poisoning.

All on his girlfriend.

Who has anger issues.

FML.

-

-

-

He handed her an ice cold bottle of water.

She barely had the strength to hold it to her lips.

Slowly, he placed her head on his lap while he tipped the water bottle into her mouth.

She drank, slowly, until she began coughing, and nearly choked.

"Sasuke-kun, not so fast!" she yelled, cleaning up ice water that was spilt on her top.

"Hn. Do it yourself, then," he muttered, frustrated.

Sasuke began to ponder what Naruto was saying.

_"I wonder what it's like to be a woman!"_

Yeah, Naruto, I do too, he thought.

She began to sniff.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. You just know this is all really horrible for me," she said, the tears ready to fall out.

Sighing, he closed his eyes and placed her head back down on his lap.

"Drink, Sakura," he whispered, stroking her damp hair on her hot forehead.

-

-

-

"Chocolate, please," she begged, cupping his face while her knee was in his lap.

"Sakura, no. You need to drink more fluids. Chocolate may help your period, but it won't help the other two," he said, scooping her up bridal style.

"Hmph!" she pouted, crossing her arms. Suddenly, her face turned pale, and she ran for the crapper.

Flush.

Retch.

Flush.

"Sakura, I think you should spend some time in there," he called out.

He received a retch in return.

-

-

-

Sakura sat on the toilet, with a trash can in front of her.

Letting the blood and (Number 2) soak out, she bent over occasionally to fill the garbage can, reaching over for mouthwash or water each time.

She sobbed, and Sasuke was torn inside.

Because he couldn't do anything to help her.

-

-

-

He dialed the number hesitantly before pressing the phone to his ear.

"Moshi moshi," the line said.

"Hinata? Hey, it's Sasuke."

"Oh, hi, Sasuke-san. How are you?" she asked politely.

Sasuke sighed. "Look, Hinata. Sakura--she's...going through tough times."

"Her, uhm...cycle?" Hinata said, embarrassed. Sasuke could see her turning red on the other line.

"She also has the flu and food poisoning. Her fever won't go down, and she sounds like she's dying."

Silence.

"Try giving her a Tylenol and maybe a stool hardener? As for the flu issue, tell her to lie on the couch and watch TV with her, or feed her one or two Hershey Kisses every 10 minutes, or sleep. Make sure a cold towel is pressed on her head, oh, and make sure you're with her, even if she's sleeping. That always helps and she'll feel better in no time."

"Are you sure?"

"She's my best friend," Hinata answered. "Sayonara, Sasuke-san."

Beep.

-

-

-

"Sakura, take these and you'll feel better, I promise."

She did not look up, but took the Tylenol and the stool hardener.

She laid her head against his chest while he held her tight.

"I'm cold," she muttered, snuggling into him.

Her head was hot, and he panicked.

"Sit on the couch, I'll get you a blanket."

She grabbed his shirt and frowned. "No, I want you to be my blanket."

"Sakura--not now, you're sick, and you need to get better--"

She pulled him down for a kiss, and he kissed back, the taste of upchuck totally masked by her natural scent and mouthwash.

"You're sick, I don't want you to get worse."

"I don't want you to get sick, but I want you, Sasuke-kun!"

He hardened next to her, and turned away, blushing.

"Sorry," he mumbled, trying to make it lower.

She frowned and placed her hand over his manhood.

"I should be sorry. You have to deal with this because I'm sick. Gomen, Sasuke-kun," she frowned, lacing her fingers with his.

He pushed her down on the sofa.

"Sleep. Don't think. I want you to get better soon, and then we can spend our time together," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

He shut her eyelids and she giggled.

"Okay, Saucy-kun."

-

-

-

He grabbed a thick Down blanket from his room and covered her, while he soaked a washcloth in cold water at the kitchen sink and placed it over her hot head.

"Aa," she moaned, in pain?

The Tylenol should've been working, and so far no bowels were released.

Thank. God.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun," she murmured, turning on her side. The washcloth fell off slightly, and he rearranged it so that it was on her head properly.

_And make sure you're with her. That always helps and she'll feel better in no time._

He grabbed her hand and stroked the soft, small one in his large one.

And he sat there for an hour, waiting for his Sleeping Beauty to wake up.

-

**15 Hours Later**

-

She still hadn't woken up.

He panicked, feeling her forehead.

The fever had gone down.

And she hadn't released crap all over the place, so the hardener was working.

As for the period?

He would have to find out later.

-

-

-

Sasuke held her hand while they both slept, tired from caring for his poor girlfriend.

His head hurt, and he coughed.

And was awoken by a loud sound.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

He opened his eyes. "What? What happened?"

She took his hand with her other one and squeezed.

"My period's over!" she squealed.

He--smiled?

"That's great, Sak. I'm glad you're feeling better."

She kissed his cheek.

"And it's all thanks to you. Gawsh, I love you, Sasuke-kun."

"Aa."

She smirked, pulling him up by the collar and kissing him full on the lips.

"You cheeky bastard, have you done anything to me while I was bedridden?"

He smirked back.

"Unfortunately, no."

She laughed before clutching her stomach.

"Sakura? Anything wrong?" he asked.

"No, just the aftermath," she mumbled, motioning for the water.

He handed it to her.

"Your fever has gone down," he said, his hand on her forehead.

"And I don't think I have food poisoning anymore," she mentioned, cupping his cheek.

He pushed her down on the sofa.

"Give it one more day. It's one in the morning, and I'm tired too."

She smiled. "Thanks, Sasuke-kun."

-

**The Next Day, 11 AM.**

**-**

"Come _on, _Sasuke-kun! You promised me we could have sex today!" Sakura said, tugging on his arm.

"Hn, five more minutes," he muttered, the pillow over his head.

"No! Now, Sasuke-kun! I'll let you even try that bondage thing, you know," Sakura pouted.

The pillow slid off his face, and his eyes were filled with lust.

"Really?" he smirked.

"Yeah. Come _on_!"

Sighing in "defeat," the brand new Sakura led him towards the bedroom.

There were moans and clothes ripping even before the lock closed.

-

-

-

"Sakura, as much as I love you, I hope I never have to go through the taking-care-of-you-while-you're-sick phase," Sasuke muttered, holding his naked lover to his chest.

"Hmph. Thanks anyway, Sasuke-kun. I know it was hard," she laughed, thinking of all the memories the past few days.

He chuckled, stroking her hair.

She yawned, snuggling into him more.

And then it struck him.

"Oh _hell _no," he muttered, staring at his hardened cock.

-

-

-

Retch.

Green vomit hit the tile floor.

"Sasuke-kun, help me," Sakura moaned as she clutched her stomach.

"What's wrong?"

He hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

"Sasuke-kun, I--please don't freak out, but I think--"

RETCH.

The toilet flushed.

"I think I'm having morning sickness, because of...last week," she began, her face pale.

Sasuke's face paled too as he fell to the floor, unconscious.

FML.

* * *

**OMFG. im sorry i havent updated in so long. really , i am. a month? i'm sooooo sorry guys. =((((**

**forgive me. please.**

**pleasepleasplease forgive me.**

**ill udpate sooner, i promise.**

**and i have a pseicla treat 4 all of u on sakura's birthday. and sasuke's. so please dont be mad t me TT^TT**

**next update is hopefully this month around the 25th or so. ily all, i'm sooooooo sorry. really. sometimes if you really want me to update just PM me or kick me in the ass. please do it. rhyrhy does it.**

**hope you liked the chapter, which was really crappy. i rushed. i'm sowwys.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	19. The Vibrator

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble nineteen. sakura's pov.  
**FML o19: Today, I took a bath with what I thought was my waterproof vibrator. It wasn't. Apparently my boyfriend found me passed out in the tub from an electric shock with my vibrator floating next to me. He refused to call a doctor and insisted on interrogating me about what he's doing wrong in bed. FML**

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:** Sasuke refuses to call an ambulance after he sees an electrocuted me and my "waterproof" vibrator until he knows what he's doing wrong in bed. FML.

* * *

**.o19.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**-**

**T**_h_e **V**_i_b**r**_a_t**o**_r_

**-**

I screamed—in pleasure and in pain as he kept thrusting into me, grabbing my wrists for support while he groaned with desire. He was rough, yes, and he didn't stop when I asked, (since, of course, most women mean for their partners to keep going), and didn't even talk to me during or after the sex!

I moaned as he roughly penetrated my womanhood, gripping my wrists tighter. And I cried, from both the amazing feeling and the pain.

Thin tears streamed down my face. He wasn't even gentle when it was my first time! Okay, he was gentler than he is now, but still—it was only during _our _first time that he actually told me he loved me!

Is this all I'm bound to?

Just sex?

Hell, he could just get a hooker for that if he wanted, couldn't he?

I sighed, and felt him finishing his last couple thrusts, pulling out of me and spilling his cum all over me, licking it up and then kissing me to see how he tastes.

At first, when I was younger, I thought kisses meant that you cared for the person. Apparently not, because he used to snog that old redheaded bitch and whatnot.

But he never fucked her.

So I guess that was okay.

I grabbed his hair and pulled—I thought he would get the message that I was in pain, but he groaned while smirking and growling seductively.

"Was that good, Sa-ku-_ra_?" he teased, whispering while his hands were on my hips, one hand licking up my excess cum.

I tried to refrain from frowning, but it came anyway.

"I—" I started. "Sasuke, you're too rou—"

"Hn?" he asked.

I sighed in defeat.

"It could be better," I mumbled.

He didn't say anything; he didn't even _look _at me! He just snarled and lied back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

And I'd had enough with the fucking.

I thought we loved each other, and aren't lovers supposed to...well, make love?

Damn him. Just damn it all.

-

-

-

Oh god I hope he'll never find out he can't find out he possibly can't if Sasuke knew that I was here with _him _at his place right now he would kill me and we'd never have our happily ever after and I don't know what else would happen!

I was with _him_.

His best friend.

In his room.

On the bed.

_With. Him._

"So Sak, which vibrator did you want?" Naruto asked as he dug under his bed, stacking a pile of the sex toys on the comforter.

"I, er—give me the one that's waterproof, I guess. Since Sasuke-kun never goes in the bathroom other than us doing each other in the shower, or just his business."

Naruto laughed.

"Coming right up, Sakura-chan!"

He threw a blue one at me, and I stared at it. The navy reminded me of Sasuke, but I shook my head and put those thoughts aside.

"Thanks, Naruto. Hey, why do you have all these vibrators, anyway?"

Naruto felt squirmish, and he leaned close to me.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" he whispered, a hand over his mouth to tell it to my ear.

"Yes."

Making sure no one was peeking in the windows, he whispered, "They're Hinata's."

My eyes widened, and I laughed.

So he's not gay after all.

Silly dobe.

-

-

-

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair. He was half-naked, with a pair of jeans on some sandals.

Sakura told him that the sex could be _better_.

He'll be damned, he thought that was the best lovemaking they had ever done together!

But _nooo_.

It wasn't good enough.

Sasuke mentally kicked himself and sat on the bed, burying his face in his hands.

What wasn't good enough?

Was he not making her moan enough? Or touching her enough? Or maybe...

No, it couldn't be.

Was he too small?

He could hold it up for a while, courtesy a la Viagra. (Nah, he was joking about the Viagra part).

So what was it?

He had tried to talk during their intimacy, but lust prevailed, and he thought she would get the message that he loved her, since...well, forever.

It was hard for him to speak such emotional words, but he told her once, and he thought that he did a pretty good damn job—for saying it and for showing it, in his opinion.

He sighed, and breathed in the scent of Sakura.

He missed her, wherever she was, because she was always on his mind.

-

-

-

I opened the door, slowly, in case Sasuke-kun heard.

When I didn't see him, I opened it a little bit more, and then shut it.

So far, so good, Sakura.

There was a big bathroom upstairs, in the Master Bedroom where Sasuke-kun and I slept, and there was a smaller one downstairs on my level.

I sighed.

Creeping upstairs, I peeked inside the room to see if Sasuke was in there.

He was sleeping.

Hah, funny. I couldn't recognize him without me under him.

Uhm. That was a sucky joke. Not even a joke. FML.

Anyway, I slowly made my way towards the small bathroom and shut the door, filling the cramped bathroom with warm water.

It's hard to go back to regular things when you've been exposed to such good quality stuff before.

(Hear, hear).

-

-

-

I took all my clothes off, carefully, and folded them before placing them on the toilet seat.

Stepping a foot in, I winced as it was too hot, and added cold water.

"Aa," I mumbled, my whole body in the water. Searching for the vibrator, I smiled, pushing the ON button and pressing it gently against my chin.

Becoming a bit braver, since I was rather embarrassed, I placed my lips over it and moaned as my tongue vibrated with the...er, vibrator.

Closing my eyes, I placed the vibrator down. Near me.

Closer...

Closer...

_BZZ!_

The world went dark.

-

-

-

Sure, Sasuke was tired.

And Sakura wasn't back from who knows where.

Sighing, he called her cell phone for the third time.

_Hey, you've reached Haruno Sakura! I'm either not here right now, or simply avoiding you, so I hope you know what to do with the beep. Sayonara!_

Sasuke began to panic.

Which he _never _did.

_BZZ!_

He heard something downstairs, and a faint scream.

Someone was in his house.

And someone was hurt.

He raced downstairs, grabbing an umbrella on the way, holding it protectively against his chest.

-

-

-

I woke up, my eyes fluttering open.

I was naked on the couch, except for a blanket covering me.

"I—what happened?" I moaned, my hand on my head.

Sasuke looked...upset, and did not look at me.

"Sasuke-kun?" I whispered.

He found me.

Passed out.

In the _bathtub_.

He held the "waterproof" vibrator in his hands.

...

_Oh_.

Naruto, you fucktard.

FML.

-

-

-

"Please call a doctor, Sasuke-kun. An ambulance, and then after the whole fiasco's over, I'll tell you the truth," I begged, my body aching.

"What am I doing wrong in bed? Am I not pleasing you enough?" he asked, his eyes turning redder by the second.

"No, Sasuke-kun—I can't, just—please, just call a doctor first—"

"Am I not touching you enough?"

"Sasuke-kun, give me the phone—"

"Are you not wet enough? Do we need to do more foreplay first?"

"SASUKE-KUN!" I shrieked.

He stared at me, his face blank. Turning away from me, he threw the vibrator on the floor.

"What is _wrong _with you?" he asked, his voice a little more harsh than he wanted it to be.

And staring at him, his broad shoulders going up and down, I began to cry silently.

Because he didn't know the reason why.

-

-

-

Sasuke groaned, ready to pull his hair out.

Why was this woman having spaz attacks? Sure, she had a short temper, but it never resolved to anything like this!

He grabbed her wrist, and forced her to look in his eyes.

"Tell me what the hell is going on."

And she did, wiping the tears away.

-

-

-

"You promise you won't get mad, Sasuke-kun?" I whispered, my words shaky and my body cold and aching.

"I promise," he muttered, not making eye contact.

Swallowing, I cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead, gently.

"Sasuke-kun, you know I love you, right?" I began, the tears ready to fall again.

"Hn."

"Yes, so—so, when we have sex, I—it seems like..."

"Hn?"

"You're too rough, Sasuke-kun. We don't seem like lovers. Not at all. We don't hug, we don't kiss, we don't...well, show PDA! We simply seem like..._fuck buddies,_" I whispered, the tears falling out again.

He stared at me for a long, long time, before kissing me gently on the lips.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.

"I-I was afraid you would leave me," I confessed, burying my face in my hands. I didn't want to look at him.

"Of course not," he muttered, hugging me. I moaned from the pain.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"I remember the first time, where I—I gave my virginity to you. And you were gentle, and tender, and loving, and you showed TLC...and we made love. Nothing really seems like it anymore," I said.

He held the nape of my neck and kissed me again.

"We have different perspectives, Sakura. I thought that you liked it, because I felt that we were one, and that we showed our love together."

"Sasuke-kun..."

"I want to know how you're feeling, because this is an activity that takes two—both of us. And if it doesn't work for one of us, it won't work for the other," he said, stroking my hair.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun."

He replied back with his actions, kissing my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, nose, and then lips.

"I think we should get that ambulance now," he smirked, and I laughed—a real laugh.

Besides the fact that my body hurt.

-

-

-

So the shock wasn't that bad.

Sasuke-kun got the message through, and that was good. We were better like this.

He took me shopping, out to eat, and a romantic walk afterwards.

And then we had sex—differently, this time. It was...sort of like make-up sex, in a way.

He kissed me, gently, and then, when I asked him to continue, it began rougher, more filled with lust and passion, and his hands were on my waist and mine were in his hair, and our tongues danced together like we had done that night—

Slowly, he laid me on the bed, as if I would break.

His lips never left mine, and his fingers nimbly worked with the button on my white blouse.

Placing butterfly kisses on my neck, he then moved down to kissing the valley of my breasts, before gently licking around my bellybutton, tickling me.

His hand rubbed my breast, his thumb brushing over the nipple until it was hardened, and I moaned.

Through my skirt, he rubbed my pussy, easy and easy until I moaned and pulled his hair, telling him to continue.

So he went harder and harder and chuckled at my wetness, pressing the spot that made me jump.

Unzipping the skirt, he tossed it neatly on the floor. I helped removed my blouse, and he reached behind to try and unhook my bra.

"Shit," he mumbled, fiddling with the strap. I laughed, and helped him, while he frowned.

"Damn lingerie," he muttered, his frustration easing as he sucked on my hardened bud.

The other hand massaged my breast, and I arched my back as one nipple was being shielded with his tongue and the other was being loved by his hand.

He switched over, and I undid his tie and threw it across the room.

My fingers unbuttoned each one, and I traced my fingers down from his chest, over his nipples, down to his perfect abs.

He groaned as I felt the bulge down in his dress pants.

Deciding to tease him, as he did to me, I kissed each ab and sucked on his nipple gently.

He undid his belt, and pulled his pants down. His erection was hot, I could feel it against my thigh.

Sasuke helped me slip my panties off, and kissed me, before his hands were on my hips and feeling my outer thighs.

His mouth slipped in between my legs, and kissed my clit, thumbing it as I jolted with pleasure. I could feel the bastard smirk, and was about to yell at him until he thrust his tongue inside my lips, tasting me, going slow at first before quickening his pace. I pulled his hair, just enough so that it would show passion, and he went faster, and faster, and faster.

I couldn't help it.

He replaced his mouth with his fingers. First one, then two, and he was about to stick a third one in there until I moaned in pain--I couldn't handle three.

"Sorry, love," he murmured, kissing my nose.

"Hmph," was all I could say.

He smirked, and placed his tongue in my bellybutton.

"You okay?" he asked as he found my G-spot.

I frowned. Damn him.

He re-positioned us, putting all his weight on one elbow while my hands were on his forearms.

"Not so harsh," I begged, squeezing his skin.

"I promise."

He stared at my lower lips, licking his own, and placed the tip of him inside me.

I winced, ready for the pain to start. What if his hormones took control, and then he started to go rough again?

What if he totally forgot about everything we just talked about?

What if I forgot the pill?

(Oh, wait, I already forgot it a long time ago).

"Sakura," he said.

I opened my eyes, and he lookd at me with worry.

"Does it hurt? I tried to be gentle, Sak, I really did," he said, cupping my face.

I loosened up.

I could feel him inside of me, but it only felt uncomfortable, just because he was so gentle.

"You're fine," I breathed out, stroking his hair.

"Tell me when I should stop," he muttered, his hips buckling against mine.

Slow.

And slow.

And slow.

I moaned in pleasure, it felt so good. I could feel that he actually cared and was being careful not to hurt me.

"Faster, please," I begged, intertwining my hands with his.

He sped up, just a bit, and stared into my eyes.

I wanted to cry.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, wiping away the tears on my eyelashes.

"Y-You're so careful," I whispered, cupping his cheeks. "It means a lot to me."

"What you feel means a lot to me."

He took his time thrusting in, and out.

In,

And out.

In,

And out.

I needed more.

I was going to reach it, I was, I swear.

But I needed him to go on.

"I need you to go faster, please, and deeper. You make me crazy," I nearly sobbed, clutching his shoulders.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Please hurry," I said, tightening my grip.

He closed his eyes and I arched my back.

Heaven washed over us.

-

-

-

"Thank you," I whispered, stroking damp hair away.

He _smiled,_ and bent down to kiss me.

"I love you, you know," he said. "I'd do anything for you."

I smiled back, hugging him tightly.

He knew my answer.

My phone vibrated.

-

-

-

_From: Naruto  
To: Sakura_

_Hey, Sak! Sorry, I gave you the wrong vibrator. The waterproof one is right here. I cleaned it off, because, well...Hinata was using it. But I think it's fine, now!_

_I'll send it over?_

Sasuke growled, and dialed Naruto's number.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! What's up? You need the vi--"

"It's Sasuke. She doesn't need it. Go away, and stay away."

"But Temeeeeeeee--"

_End._

He climbed back into bed with his naked lover.

"You don't need one anymore," he said, snuggling my nose with his.

"I know," I smiled back. I could feel his cheeks turning red.

"Marry me."

I looked at him. "What?"

"I said, 'Marry me.' Comprede?" he said slowly.

I began to cry.

"You're such a dumbass!" I shrieked, throwing my arms around him and laughed while he chuckled, kissing my forehead.

"I knew you couldn't resist such a sexy, good-looking husband."

"Arrogant bastard."

He kissed my nose.

"I love you."

"I do too."

He laid me down on my back and we were ready to make love again.

This time, it was the best time ever.

-

-

-

_"Wait, you never said if you would marry me or not."_

_"Dumbass."_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_"Hinata, where are you? I can't find you!"_

_"BZZ!"_

_Shriek._

_"HINATA-CHAN! THAT'S THE WRONG ONE!"_

Comprende?

* * *

**OMG, it's been FOREVER since i updated. i am soooo sorry, i swear.**

**tis' been a month.**

**wtf.**

**wtf.**

**wtf.**

**fml. i hate my life.**

**but was this okay? i think it was alright but i could be better. it's probably my fave fml though. xDDD**

**please review. i swear i'll make a quicker update. PROMISE. flame me if i dont.**

**ilysfm.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	20. Taser Attack

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty. sasuke's pov.  
**FML o20: Last night, I snuck into my girlfriend's window to sleep next to her. Her mom thought I was a burglar trying to get in, so she Tasered me. I woke up in the hospital today, with a tube down my throat. FML.**

**note: **i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE **ENDDD**.

**summary:** When sneaking in to my girlfriend's bedroom through the window to kiss her goodnight, she failed to tell me that her mother owned a Taser. You can tell what happened from thereon out, because I currently have a tube stuck down my throat. FML.

* * *

**.o20.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**T**_a_s**e**_r _A**t**_t_a**c**_k_

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

_._

**3:28 PM, May 4th, 2010.**

So I'm sitting here, in a hospital bed, typing this crap up for all of you bitches to see.

I've posted it on my blog, and my LiveJournal, and my DeviantArt, and of course, my Fanfiction.

Just so all of you know that _yes, _Uchiha Sasuke, has been Tasered.

(Cue the screaming girls and get-well cards).

And, how, you may ask?

Well, long story. So I was running from the FBI, because they thought I killed a man, even though it was my brother. I was running down one hallway with the police behind me, until I realized that there was another policeman coming towards me. With nowhere to go, I tried jumping out the window.

That didn't work.

Instead, I just got tasered.

Cool story, eh? But Sakura doesn't think so. Damn, does she have no interest in that super-amazing-awesomesauce tale of mine?

Gotta go take my meds.

Peace.

—Uchiha Sasuke.

.

.

.

7:23 PM, May 4th, 2010.

OH HAI THERE BITCH.

Haruno Sakura IN THE HOUSE.

'Kay, so I'm in Sasuke-kun's computer account, going onto his blog to write crap and whatnot. I love his password, by the way. It's "iloveharunosakura." Ain't that cute?

(Yes, you fan girls. I laugh at your despaire. Bitch).

Anyhow.

So I'm going onto his blogs and stuff where he posted his "awesomesauce" tale of the FBI and whatever.

Totally.

Not.

_True_.

He's just ashamed to admit what _really_ happened. And, if I were him, I would be too.

You want to find out, eh?

Ha, I'll tell you. Just let me put my glasses on and get my thesaurus out...

_Save Draft._

.

.

.

I furrowed my eyebrows together.

I did _not _save a draft.

Opening it up, I scrolled down the list of articles, and clicked on the draft.

My eyes followed sentence after sentence, and I chuckled at Sakura's childish behavior.

But then—

"Oh _hell _no."

I erased the draft, and logged out, changing my password from "iloveharunosakura" to "ilovesakuraharuno."

Why?

I shut my computer down to Sleep mode.

"You want to know?" I muttered to myself.

The audience shook their head.

"I swear, if you tell _anyone, _I will cut you."

"Emo boy," a voice came from the audience.

Said member had a large gash on their cheek.

.

**12:06 PM, May 3rd, 2010.**

.

"Sasuke-kunnn!" Sakura's voice rang out as she linked arms with her boyfriend.

"Hey, love," I said, kissing her cheek.

She rawred in response, snuggling into me.

"So is that "sleepover" still planned for tonight?" I asked, holding her books for her.

Our sleepovers were mandatory. We had them at least once a week, and sure, we slept over—I crawled through her window to snuggle in with her, and, if in the right time and mood, do a little more than snuggling.

But she looked up at me, frowning.

"You can't come, Sasuke-kun."

I frowned, too.

"Why not? I thought your parents liked me!"

She shuffled nervously.

"Well, you know that...my parents are getting divorced, right?"

Of course I knew. I was the one that comforted her while she cried her eyes out the past month.

"Yeah."

"My dad wants to kidnap me and put me in his suitcase so that we can fly to Mexico or something and wear those fancy sumbreros."

Aa.

Family abduction.

"So my mom sleeps with me in my bed—not that way, you pervert!" she said, slapping me on the arm playfully as I smirked. "Anyway, she sleeps _next _to me and...well, it's dangerous. Please don't come. My dad's been trying to get through the window, and ever since the attack from my mom, he never comes anymore. We just take turns going to each others' houses."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Sasuke-kun, I love you. And I don't want you to get hurt. So please, don't come?" she pouted, her Bambi eyes staring straight into mine.

I sighed.

"Fine."

But really? A frail, gaunt old lady was match enough for me? The captain of the soccer, basketball, cricket, tennis, football, kickboxing, and wrestling team? Plus, I played drums, guitar, piano, violin...all those fancy intsruments and whatnot. And I would get hurt by _this _lady?

"I love you, Sasuke-kun," she said again, quietly.

I responded by kissing her nose.

.

.

.

Our first time was during exam week. It happened, really quickly. We didn't know what was going on, at all.

It was on my bed. We were studying, and she asked me questions—did I like her? Did I care for her? Did I want her?

The blood rose to my cheeks, and my crotch. I looked away, embarrassed.

She turned my face to look at her.

And the zippers came undone, the buttons were unbuttoned, and there were kissing and moans and tears and screams and pleads...

It was amazing.

Absolutely-_fucking_-amazing.

And it was special.

Not only for me, but also—

(For her, too).

.

**10:48 PM, May 3rd, 2010.**

.

I watched Sakura through the window, taking off her shirt and folding it, and unlatching her bra.

Beautiful.

Her skirt went down, as with her shorts, and she covered herself with her arms—even though she knew that no one was watching.

Heh.

White laced panties were slipped on, along with a silky nightgown. Her mother, reading a book in her bed, called Sakura over.

She turned off the lights, and her mother yawned.

I looked at my watch.

10:53 PM.

Perfect.

.

.

.

"Kaa-san, can I ask you something?" Sakura asked as she climbed over on the opposite side of the bed.

"What is it?" her mother asked, placing Jane Eyre down on the dresser.

Sakura fiddled with her nightgown.

"A-Are you...when did you—when did you first have sex? And with who?"

I could read lips—a gift taught to me by my brother. And my heart pounded, just a little bit, because of that question.

Sakura's mother's eyebrows furrowed, and she asked, "Why?"

"J-Just wondering, you know."

Hana Haruno frowned, lying back on her pillow.

"It was your uncle, Keiji. When I found out he was bisexual, we broke up. I couldn't have a man who was interested in me but loving other men at the same time. Then, I met your father."

It's like the show, How I Met Your Mother, with Neil Patrick O'Harris. I kept watching the conversation through their mouths.

"When did you have sex?" Sakura asked.

Sakura's mother laughed.

"It was so long ago, I can't even remember. Let's see...42 minus 14...I had sex 28 years ago, when I was fourteen."

Sakura's eyes widened, and my eyebrows raised.

Hn, so promiscious?

"D-Do you believe in sex before marriage?"

Hana looked straight in the eyes of her daughter.

"Only if the two love each other—real love. I was stupid when I was fourteen. I don't want you to make the same mistake."

She was about to turn the lights off, when Sakura said, "Can I ask one more question?"

"Hm?"

"Do you still love Tou-san?"

Her skin paled, and she grabbed Sakura's arm.

"I don't believe in divorce," her mother said. "I still very much love your father."

"T-Then why—?"

"Sometimes it's for the best, Sakura. He lied to me. He hit me. He cheated on me. But I know very much that he loves you. And I think that even though a divorce is used, the spouses still love each other, even if they don't want to admit it."

I saw Sakura's eyes water, and I wanted to go in there and wipe them away with kisses.

"I know that he loves you, Mommy," she whispered, stroking her mother's hair. "I know it."

Hana smiled, hugged her daughter, and turned off the lights.

"Good night, Sakura-chan."

.

.

.

It was 11 by then, too dark to see with my watch.

I saw Sakura's mother sleeping, her back away from me, and Sakura staring out the window, closed eyes and a caked face with dried tears.

So fragile...

I jumped off the tree branch, one by one, until I reached the ground.

Unlocking the window by circling the latch on the outside, I jumped in.

No security system.

Thank. Kami.

I cupped Sakura's smooth face, kissing her forehead, my knees next to her bed, my lips reaching in to touch hers...

"WHAT THE FU—"

_Bzz!_

The last thing I remember is my head hitting the sill of the open window.

.

.

.

I heard sobbing.

My hand was being deprived of circulation.

"Sasuke-kun...Sasuke-kun, please wake up, you stupid bastard!"

Sakura...

I opened my eyes, but immediately squinted again. I needed time to adjust to the lighting.

"Where am I?" I asked, my eyes watering.

"The hospital."

Naruto.

His arm was around Sakura, who was holding my hand, crying, the tears spilling on my bed.

"I warned you, idiot, but you and your stupid ego didn't believe me..." she said, choking on her words.

I tried to lift my hand up to touch her cheek, but she slapped it away.

"You need rest, baka," she said, smiling through the tears.

Naruto laughed, patting Sakura's back for comfort.

I smirked, chuckling deeply.

_I love you, _I mouthed, trying to smile for her before wincing.

She kissed my nose, and closed my eyelids.

"Believe me next time," she whispered, kissing my ear. "I know what I'm doing, Sasuke-kun. But you don't."

"Stupid teme," Naruto said, patting Sakura's shoulder.

I laughed.

She held my hand again, and we all smiled, together.

"Thatta girl," I muttered, before she let go of my hand pressed her fingers to my lips.

My eyes fluttered shut, and the last thing I remember was Naruto shutting the door in front of me.

.

**9:58 PM, May 4th, 2010.**

.

So that's it.

You have now found out the _whole _story.

And there must be nothing more to it.

And I swear, if you tell anyone, _anyone _that I told you this, you will end up like NARUTO, over there.

(Points to the audience member with the gash on his cheek).

You have been warned.

So.

May the fourth be with you.

(Get it? May 4th? May the fourth? Haha).

Peace.

—Uchiha Sasuke, in the hood.

.

.

.

**10:03 PM, May 4th, 2010.**

HEYYY. IT'S SAKURA. YOUR FAVORITE BITCH.

I cried, for like, FOREVER when Sasuke-kun was Tasered. =( But I warned him. I WARNED HIM!

Stupid baka. Making me worried like that. I should punch him.

No, I couldn't. He's my sweetheart, and I love him.

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM.

I LOVE UCHIHA SASUKE MORE THAN ALL OF YOU BITCHES.

(Ha, can't beat that!)

Anyway. Tou-san and Kaa-san are cancelling the divorce. I knew that they both loved each other, I knew it, I KNEW IT!

And we're all happy. Every one of us.

It's a good world out there. Very, very, _very _good.

And, Sasuke-kun, if you see this, just know that I love you.

xoxo,

—Your sexy bitch.

* * *

**ugh. sorry i haven't updated in so long. i know, cut me. cut my throat. rawrr. ive begun to hate my writing more and more. i'm just slopping stuff together and posting it.**

**TT^TT**

**i'm so upset with myself right now, i wanna get tasered.**

**review?**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**

**P.S. ILYRHYRHYILYCAITYOU'REMYSEXYBITCHES.**


	21. Fantasy Gone Wrong

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-one. third person.  
**FML o21: Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary:** Sakura is quite the Harry Potter geek. So when she and Sasuke are ready to do "it," he is surprised to find her fully dressed in a Harry Potter outfit, with the wand, shouting spells and whatnot and saying those dreadful words. "I'm going to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets, even though you're the one with a dick!" And yes, that was their first time. FML.

* * *

**.o21.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**F**_a_n**t**_a_s**y **_G_o**n**_e _W**r**_o_n**g**

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

_(dedicated especially to blankstateofmind, ticklemeblue20, and annee loves sasusaku). i love you all so, so much._

_._

Sasuke didn't want to admit it, but...

...

(He thought that Sakura loved Harry Potter more than him).

Which is:

IM-POSS-I-BLE.

No one, and I mean _no one _can love something before Uchiha Sasuke. And do you know why?

Because you either love or hate Uchiha Sasuke.

Anyway, Sasuke was upset that his best friend, his girlfriend, his soulmate-

Preferred Harry James Potter over him.

This was unacceptable.

It wouldn't be so. And he was going to change her mind.

_Permanently._

.

.

.

Sakura was reading through her torn duct-taped book (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, mind you), for the forty-seventh time. Sasuke sat on the couch next to her, trying to please her by kissing her neck or moving her bangs by tucking them behind her ear. His hand went on her bare thigh and crept up, slowly, and his other hand went up her tank-top.

She "mmphed," in discomfort, and wiggled away from him. He frowned, as she turned the next page.

And Sasuke paled.

"Oh no," he muttered, taking a pillow and hiding his face from the world.

It was page 596 of the Half-Blood Prince.

And once Sakura started reading it, she began to cry.

So Sasuke bought a whole box of Kleenex to wipe up her tears, while assuring her that Dumbledore would always stay in her mind forever and ever and ever even though Dumbledore was physically gone.

Fuck his life.

.

.

.

Sasuke was still a virgin, though he tried to hide it.

And so was Sakura.

So it was perfect. The two were meant for each other.

Except for the fact that Sakura didn't want to give up her virginity to him.

She wanted to give it to _Harry_.

Who had his taken from Ginny.

...

Sakura was upset, and therefore never wanted to have sex. Ever.

(Except maybe if it were Sasuke, but she was still upset that Ginny got to take Harry's virginity before her).

And besides, if they had sex in her room, Sasuke would be forever taunted by the Harry Potter posters that hung her in her room, covering every inch of it.

No.

It would be at night, 11:11 PM, and it would be outside on a warm mid-summer night, maybe on his birthday, and a full-moon would be out and they would be on the sand and naked and—

"Sasuke-kun?"

He woke up from his reality, staring at Sakura.

"Hn?"

She put the book down, finished with it for the forty-eighth time. Smiling, she climbed into his lap and hooked her arms around his neck. Her head was buried in the crook of his neck, and she sucked on the skin, gently.

He groaned softly, and she smiled against his wet skin. Her hands were on his shoulders, moving down, down, down to his chest, feeling the small ridges there of his beautiful body that made the Greek gods ashamed. Slowly, her cold hands went up his dark blue shirt, stroking, feeling, fondling...

Sasuke shivered. The temperature was so cold, but so pleasurable.

She breathed quietly into his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, one of his hands in the waistband of her jeans.

Sakura stroked his hair gently, kissing his lips by tilting her head up.

"I love you," she whispered, smiling, while blushing softly.

His face softened.

"I love you, too, Sakura. You should know that."

She closed his eyes and whispered into his ear.

"I wish you still wore your thick-rimmed glasses instead of your contacts. You remind me of Harry Potter, being sexy, if not as sexy."

Sasuke frowned.

"Thanks," he said monotonously, unhappy for having ruined the mood.

She laughed, and nibbled his earlobe. And with that final action, she whispered-

"You would look so, so sexy with a lightning scar."

...

Sasuke plus Facepalm equals Result of Stupid Things that Sakura Mentions That Turn Him Off.

You know the drill.

So here goes nothing:

F. M. L.

.

.

.

Sakura was cooking Sasuke dinner when he attacked her from behind with his mouth and held her up by her buttocks. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held onto his neck when he placed her on the countertop, his tongue tasting hers.

"S-Sasuke-kun," she moaned, arching her neck.

"Yes, Sakura, say my name," he commanded, his voice husky and deep.

"The—It's burning, Sasuke-kun..."

"I don't care, Sakura. I want you right now. I can't wait any longer."

Sakura grabbed his hands and placed them up her shirt, feeling the warm skin on her stomach. Without her asking, he slid his hands up, cupping her petite breasts in each hand.

She slid her hands under his pants, and hooked her fingers there.

"Take them off," he told her, motioning to his belt and jeans.

She shook her head, smiling sweetly before her tongue was in her cheek.

"Nahh."

Sakura took her hands out, snuggled her nose with his, and hopped off the countertop, straightening her clothes and going back to her near-burned food.

Sasuke growled.

He was angry.

And Uchiha Sasuke always got what he wanted.

(You know it, bitch).

.

.

.

Sasuke didn't want to admit it to Sakura, but he had never seen or read a Harry Potter movie or novel in his lifetime.

Sure, during movie nights, when Sakura always picked out Harry Potter, he would make an excuse to go to the bathroom-and stay there for who knows how long.

And sometimes, he would call..._you-know-who_.

Yes.

He Who Must Not be Named.

_Ring._

_Ring._

"Hello?"

A deep husky voice, heavy breathing...

"Hn."

"OH HAI TEME. WASSUP?"

Yes, it was him.

_Uzumaki Naruto _was Uchiha Sasuke's Voldemort. Sort of. Kind of-not really. Well...

"Shut up, dobe."

(Yeah, he was).

.

.

.

Sakura was not afraid to admit that Uchiha Sasuke was her boyfriend.

She was not afraid to hug him and kiss him and close her eyes pretending that he was Harry Potter and...

Well, she was afraid to tell him.

"Sakura."

She looked up at him, the movie over.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun. Come here."

He sat down next to her, and she jumped onto his lap, squeezing him tightly, kissing his neck.

"Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun," she sang, licking him. "You are so beautiful. I love you."

Sasuke's heart softened, and he held Sakura close to him.

"You are the most precious thing to me, Sakura."

She laughed, kissing his hands.

"Your skin is smooth," she mentioned, putting his index finger in her mouth.

"Yours is like a baby. One that I want to have with you," he whispered, snuggling his head into her breasts.

"And we'll name it Harry. Because you're going to put your magic wand into my Harry Potter," she said, laughing.

Oh, Sakura.

That totally killed it.

.

.

.

It was near eleven in Sasuke's room.

The shirts were off, and Sakura's skirt was unzipped.

His hands were in her inner thighs, and his face was biting at the middle of her bra. She undid his belt and stuck her hands under his boxers.

"Aa-Sasuke-kun, I don't think—I'm not ready, oh!" Sakura moaned, arching her neck as Sasuke placed butterfly kisses on her neck, fiddling with the back of her bra.

"How the fuck do you get this thing off?" he muttered, tugging at it. She laughed, pushing his hands away.

"Not now."

She climbed into his lap and wrapped her legs around his waist.

His jeans were becoming a size too tight, and she giggled, blushing profusely. His ears turned red, just a bit, and she sucked on his lips.

"_Rawr_," she growled, licking his cheek.

"I like sexy girls like you."

"And I like sexy wizards."

She pulled out a fake wand and twirled it around.

"ENGORGIO!" she said, pointing at his dick.

And his erection went down.

Damnit, Sakura.

(Someone needs to work on their Transfiguration).

.

.

.

Sasuke sat on the bed, dressed, arms folded across his chest, frowning.

Sakura was in the bathroom, hiding there from the wrath of Uchiha Sasuke.

No, he wasn't so mad that he was going to chase her, but yes, he was upset.

"Sakura," he called out. "Come out."

"No. You're going to get mad at me and then you're gonna use my wand and Avada Kedavra me with your phoenix-feather wand!" Sakura yelled.

"Sakura, I'm not going to get mad at you."

She opened the door just a crack, and stared at him.

"Pro-miseee?" she sang.

"Yeah."

She opened the door, walking over to the bed and sat next to him, touching his shoulder gently.

"Hn."

She kissed his ear, and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Hn." _It's fine._

_"_I want to make it up to you."

"...Hn?" _How_?

She placed her hand over his covered crotch and stroked it gently.

"Tomorrow. I'm going to give myself to you. If you're ready. I am."

His eyes widened, and he stared at the girl next to him. Was she serious? Was his Harry Potter lover going to have sex with him, after she vowed never to have it after that stupid incident?

Her face was serious.

"I love you."

He pushed her onto the bed, kissing her in every inch of skin he could find.

.

.

.

She was at work, and he sat at home, waiting would it would feel like.

Jacking off was great, but it never got him to the high point that he needed.

He could hear her voice in his head; "Were you whomping your willow thinking about me?"

But being inside of her would make him explode, hot cum on the sheets and on him and her and-

He unzipped his jeans, and thrust his head back. Practicing, he did a couple of pelvic thrusts, along with the "UHs!" involved.

Sakura Sakura Sakura Sakura SAKURA.

She was in his mind all the time.

And it was annoying.

So beautifully, beautifully annoying...

.

.

.

He was on the bed, taking a nap. He figured that it would be best to sleep in the morning so that they could stay up late and do _it _and he would watch her sleep while she was cuddled up into his chest and he'd hold her tight and close and they would live happily ever after—

The door opened.

He heard Sakura call his name.

And his heart sped up.

He was ready.

Ready to be a man as she was ready to be a woman.

"I'm in my room, Sakura," he called out.

The door opened a crack.

His mouth dropped.

She looked _unbelievable._

.

.

.

"Sakura...w-what are you _wearing_?"

Her face was covered in Sasuke's old thick-rimmed glasses, scotch-taped in the middle. A badly drawn lipstick scar was on her forehead.

Sasuke's eyes moved down to her clothes.

Her breasts were curving out of the dusty black robe she wore. An emblem of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was sewn on the left breastpocket, and her shoes were also black.

The wand, eleven inches exactly, was made of holly and phoenix feather.

Yup, she was totally roleplaying.

It turned him off, but at the same time, it made it all the more erotic.

His erection went up, and he was about to remove his pants when—

"I'm gonna put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets!"

Bloop.

Oh, shit.

Sasuke, you want some Viagra with that?

.

.

.

Sasuke groaned, lying down on the bed, pulling strands of his hair out.

"Damnit, Sakura..."

He sighed, breathing heavily.

Sasuke was absolutely _frustrated _oout of his mind.

He felt Sakura sit next to him, the glasses off.

Her wand was on his dresser, and her hand was on his cheek.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn."

She frowned, lying her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry. Sasuke-kun, I tried, I really did. But—"

"Hn. It's fine."

She rubbed the lipstick off her forehead, kicked off her shoes, and undid her robe.

Under it was a full costume.

A tight, white see-through school shirt, and a short black skirt, along with knee-high socks.

"What—?"

"It's like one of those hentai things," she said, straddling him. "The horny schoolgirl and the pedophile teacher."

Sasuke's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped.

"S-Sakura...?"

She unbuttoned one, then another, then another until she reached the bottom. The shirt fell on the bed, and her breasts were ready to burst out from her bra.

She seemed to _accidentally _hike her skirt up, just a bit for him to see her pink panties.

"Oh, was that me? I'm sorry," she giggled, covering herself up, though not doing a very good job at it.

Sasuke's hands went to her inner thighs, massaging them gently.

"Aa, Sasuke-kun..."

He didn't know where his shirt was, but he didn't care. As long as she was undressed, he didn't give a flying fuck.

Sasuke flipped her over, like a pancake. She was on the bottom, and he was hovering over her, breathing heavily, covered with desire.

"Sakura, you and I are going to make love and it will be anything like you have experienced. _Ever_. I will make your bed rock."

"That's a song, Sasuke-kun."

He put her legs around his waist and got a good view of her womanhood.

"I'll put that song to shame."

She pulled down his boxers, and reached out for his big, long shaft.

.

.

.

They didn't know what the hell either of them were doing. They just _did _it.

The way she put his whole self into her mouth, sucking gently, massaging it...

"It's so big, Sasuke-kun."

Smirk.

He finally figured out how to unhook the bra, and he watched as her nipples turned erect from the temperature.

Placing one in between his fingers, he whispered-

"I'm going to make you squeal."

He lowered his head to her breast, sucking on it, tasting the bare skin given to him. Without thinking, he placed his lips over her bud and bit down, _hard_.

Sakura screamed in pain as he realized that it was a bit _too _hard.

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry," he muttered quickly, kissing it for comfort.

"Aa..." she murmured back, grabbing his face and placing it on her other mound. He closed his eyes and kissed it gently, his fingers moving down to her naval, then to sliding down the skirt to her knees.

She kicked the skirt off, leaving her only in her panties, which were soaked.

Sakura squeaked as his member pressed against her wet, warm core, making her shiver with pleasure.

"We can stop anytime, you know," he murmured, licking her nose. "I want you to feel comfortable."

"I-I am. You are my Harry."

Sasuke ignored the fact that she said that, and decided to reply back with her lingo, since it was _her _virginity given to him, and _hers _only.

"You are my Ginny."

Sakura's eyes widened, and he pulled her panties down.

Making sure she was accustomed to what was going to happen next, he placed a finger in. Yes, it was uncomfortable for her, but she would get used to it.

One more finger was added.

And another.

"Too much, too much," she moaned, arching her back.

He kissed her lower lips, savoring the taste of her essence. Fuck, if he was feeling so much pleasure right now, he couldn't wait to feel what would be when he was inside her.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded once, and he grabbed her legs, spreading them apart.

Leaning down to comfort her heavy breathing, he muttered, "I'm going to put _my _basilisk into _your _Chamber of Secrets."

She laughed nervously, and motioned for him to go.

He slid in.

.

.

.

It was _fantastic._

Nothing, not even in his dreams, could compare with the real thing.

He heard her moan, and each thrust was nothing like his practice thrusts. No, it was so much easier than that, and she was so wet, he could just slide in and back out...

Her hands were tugging at his hair, and she spread her legs even farther apart, though she didn't need to. He was so used to being in her, that each second he got out, he felt awkward and knew that something wasn't right.

One more thrust got them both going.

And he watched all his hot cum spill over the sheets and hers mix in with it and look at the thick white substance cover his bed.

She looked at him, her chest heaving up and down.

Sasuke snuggled his nose with hers, and he whispered, "Do you have an invisibility cloak? I need it to visit your Restricted Section."

She laughed, being short of breath. "That's good," she whispered, stroking his damp hair. "But you already have."

"Yeah, so now that you've spent the night with me, they'll be calling you _Moaning _Myrtle."

He didn't know what he was saying, he didn't know _where _he learned any of it. But it came out, quickly. Without thinking. He'd heard it somewhere, read it somewhere...

Sakura laughed, her eyes tearing.

"Sasuke-kun, thank you."

He was the one who should be thanking her, not her.

"You're welcome."

"Not only for the night, but for-" she caught her breath. "For understanding my obsessions and dealing with me throughout. I know that I've caused you a lot of frustration, but just knowing that you were still there for me made me feel absolutely wonderful. And when you just said those words-I've never heard you say them before. Anything related to Harry Potter, it's just...forbidden in your dictionary. Oh, Sasuke-kun. You're so precious to me," Sakura said, holding him tight.

Sasuke kissed her body, and met her lips.

"I'd do anything for you."

"Really?" she said, looking at his eyes hopefully.

"Really."

...Smirk.

Oh no.

_"Okay, you can make me do anything besides read Harry Potter."_

_"But Sasuke-kun! You said, quoting; 'I'd do anything for you.'"_

_"Really, Sakura? Anything but this."_

_"...ACCIO HARRY POTTER."_

_._

_._

_._

_"Damnit, Sasuke! Let's have sex already, you've been reading for twelve hours straight!"_

_"One sec, Sakura, I'm on the last page of the Goblet of Fire...say, where'd you put that Harry Potter costume and my glasses?"_

_"In the laundry room. I'll be waiting."_

_._

_._

_._

_"Sasuke...what the hell are you wearing?"_

_"You know Platform Nine and three-quarters? I know something else with the _exact _same measurements."_

_..._

_ENGORGIO PENIS._

* * *

**don't get me wrong, i love harry potter more than ANY OF YOU. i've read the books over 40+ times each. because i haad no friends before. =X but i do now, and they're all of you. ilysomuch.**

**oh, and harry potter is a sexy beast.**

**daniel radcliffe is my lover.**

**HE IS MINE MINE MINE. DONT TOUCH HIM, BECAUSE THAT BITCH IS MINE.**

**kthxbai.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	22. Literally Speaking

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-two. sakura's pov.  
**FML o22: Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary:** Today, I was preparing a welcome-home meal for Sasuke-kun when he came home from his mission. He arrived earlier than expected, and we started preparing for the naughty-naughty. He lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. And the only thing he had to say was, "Now I can literally say you've got a hot ass." FML.

* * *

**.o22.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**L**_i_t**e**_r_a**l**_l_y **S**_p_e**a**_k_i**n**_g_

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

_._

I know it's a stupid pet peeve, but I absolutely _hate _when people use slang and say that they're literal about it.

For example; "My head is literally gonna blow up!"

No, it's not, Naruto. Your head is not literally blowing up, but it may feel like it's blowing up. Probably because you poured so much hot sauce in your ramen, douchebag.

Yeah. So that's why no one can appreciate my grammar-geekiness.

Yet somehow I fell in love with my son of a bitch boyfriend, Uchiha Sasuke. Who, when he speaks (though he rarely does, he speaks through actions. Especially in the bedroom. Harhar), uses the word "literally" all the friggin' time.

And it's _so _annoying.

Like he thinks I am. But whatev. I'm just telling the truth, you know.

But I love him so, so much. However, I just can't stand hearing the L word all the time. (Not love, silly. The other one).

So I'm kind of relieved that he's going on a mission today. But I'll miss him.

"I'll see you next week," I said, kissing his cheek. He lifted me up, and swung me around, chuckling.

"Hopefully sooner. Expect me in five days."

I kept kissing all over his head, and he laughed.

"My face is literally going to be swollen from kisses."

I stopped, and frowned.

"Yeah. See you later," I mumbled, walking away, shutting the door in his face.

Damn him.

.

.

.

This was like heaven-just a bit. The first day without literally-used sentences spoken by Sasuke.

Of course, it would be a better heaven if he were here. Not. Using. That L word.

I plopped myself down on the sofa, and closed my eyes. I deserved a nap, right? After all, I work at the hospital all the time, I'm on call, and it's...simply frustrating.

So I closed my eyes and dreamt for a bit.

Dreamdreamdream.

My eyes shut tighter, so that I could see little sparks of blue and pink (our colors!) and whatnot swirling around. And it hurt, the tightening feeling.

And then I thought of Sasuke.

When everyone looked at him, they all saw the big picture-handsome, sexy, hot, gorgeous, partially emo, rich, and an Uchiha.

But when they looked deeper inside, he wasn't the cold, stoic bastard that we saw in everyday life.

He was so much more than that.

And I loved him for it.

So I dreamt of him that afternoon.

.

.

.

Sasuke packed his kunai and shruiken and put it in his pouch. A gloved hand running through his hair, he sighed.

Sakura took things _way _too literally.

(Heh. Literally).

She was funny, yes, annoying at times (in a good way!), a smartass, and absolutely beautiful.

But she really needed to take a chill pill or two.

Or maybe three.

Or four.

Just enough to not get a drug OD. Yeah, no one would like that. No one no one no one.

But he missed her, waking up next to her and smelling her hair, kissing her skin, holding her tight to him.

And he froze in his steps, Naruto asking what was wrong with him.

But he was ready to turn back, the gates weren't that far away anyway.

He forgot to tell her that he loved her.

(Because after all, not all ninjas come back from their missions).

.

.

.

It was too late to go back now, so Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the wrist and they walked together, in silence.

"I forget to say it too, sometimes, to Hinata-chan," Naruto said, polishing his kunai while walking. "But she knows I mean it."

"We kind of had a fight before we left. Nothing big, just one of those stupid ones..." Sasuke muttered, not looking at Naruto.

"Neh?"

Sasuke snarled. "Just don't ask. You'll laugh."

Naruto nodded, yawned, and put the kunai back in his pouch.

"Let's just get home early this week so that we can go have some _fun _with the ladies!" he said, giggling profusely while he blushed.

"Dobe," Sasuke chuckled, punching him on the shoulder.

.

.

.

I needed a girls' night out.

Desperately.

I swear, if I don't have any freetime, my stress levels are going to go up and my hair will turn gray and Sasuke-kun will never love me anymore because I'm an old hag, like Sai said.

And I can't let that happen.

I CAN'T. It's simply preposterous. Unbelievable. Unacceptable.

...RRGH.

I grabbed my pretty red Verizon phone and dialed Hinata's number.

"Hello?"

"HEY HINATA," I screamed through the receiver. Wow, I sound like Naruto now. FML.

"Hi, Sakura-chan. What's up?" her voice said, cracking.

I stared at my chipped pink nails.

"I was thinking we should have a little girl time, you know? Maybe at the plaza, the bridge, the strip club?"

"I...I..." Hinata began, stuttering when I mentioned the words "strip" and "club."

"Don't worry," I assured her quickly. "We're not the ones getting stripped."

That didn't soothe her problems.

And through the line I heard a thump, a groan, and the message, _Sorry, Hyuuga Hinata has just fainted and needs some time to regain consciousness. Please leave your message at the beep_.

Seriously, someone needs to check her out. I don't think it's healthy to faint that often.

.

**forty-seven seconds later.**

.

I. AM. SO. BORED.

I swear, I will _kill _someone. The TV has shit on, the house is already clean, Hinata's fainted, and I'm stuck here alone.

Hell, I'd just give it up for Sasuke-kun to come home. He could use the L word he always uses and I wouldn't even care.

(Okay, yes I would, but there would be a time limit).

AGHH.

I need atmosphere. Along with that, I need a sexy male body, some chicken-ass hair, and a big penis.

Yeah.

Uh huh.

I closed my eyes and sat on the sofa again, not thinking about my horrible life right now.

But dreaming dreams.

_Wet _dreams.

Sexy, right? Tch, yeah. I know. I know it is.

And wet dreams really do make me wet.

(Literally). BUT I DID NOT SAY THAT, SO DON'T YOU THINK I DID.

* * *

It was five days after Uzumaki and Uchiha left for their mission. They were back, earlier than expected, by two days.

"So, teme, did you see me beat up that chick? I was like, 'HYAH, HYAH!' And she was like 'NUUU!' and I was like, 'Uhm, HELL YEAH,' and I kicked her ass!"

"Dobe, you can't hit a girl unless she hits you first."

"B-But she didn't! She was looking suspicious, teme. I was protecting the Leaf Village, saving our honor! You know those police signs at the airport? _If you see something suspicious, don't hesitate to report it_! Well, I wasn't hesitating. I was saving!"

Sasuke stopped in his tracks, and Naruto stared, confused.

"What did that girl look like?"

"Er...red hair, glasses, hooker heels?" Naruto said, struggling to remember.

Sasuke waved it off.

"Oh, never mind. That was the room-service lady. You did a good job, Naruto. She was about ready to pull your hair out."

Naruto patted his golden-blonde locks and smiled.

"You betcha!"

.

.

.

I was preparing a welcome-home meal for Sasuke-kun. His favorite-rice balls and tomatoes, along with a small dish of miso ramen.

He said he would be coming home today, and judging by his skills, he should've come home yesterday. Nonetheless, I heated up the stove to high and waited for the oil to start sizzling in the pan for my dinner.

My stomach grumbled-I was hungry, after all, and I was having fun. Going to the spa, hot springs, makeovers, bit of training, and a few on call patients...

I heard thumping from behind the door, and I opened it, excited out of my mind.

"Sasuke-kun!" I shrieked, jumping on him and wrapping my legs around his waist. He laughed, holding my waist while I crossed my ankles. He had a few scratches on his beautiful face, which would be healed in a matter of seconds.

"How was it?" I asked, kissing the scars.

"I missed you," he murmured, nibbling my ear. Throwing my head back, he sucked on my neck, and I grabbed onto his hair.

He peered from over my shoulder.

"Smells good. What are you making?"

"Your favorite, of course."

He smirked, snuggling into my breasts, which I blushed at.

Sasuke put me down, and I added dumplings in the pot, which sizzled. Sasuke was removing his coat and putting it on the sofa.

Then, he was behind me, kissing the back of my neck, wrapping his arms around my waist.

With one hand, he crawled up my shirt and unhooked my bra. One-handed.

(Isn't that epik)?

"Mm, not now," I muttered, my hands shaking from the excitement.

"Food can wait later. I can't," he whispered, both his hands now on my boobs, rubbing them.

I dropped the spatula I was using, and turned to face him, my bra dropping on the tile floor. His hands rested on my hips, down to my ass, and he lifted me up. I assumed we were going to be pressed against a wall, then to the bedroom, but the smoke alarm would-

Okay, I was right about the lifting me up part.

But what he did is that-

"DAMNIT, SASUKE!" I screamed out in pain.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as I jumped off the counter, staring at my butt.

"Now I can finally say that you've literally got a hot ass, Sakura."

The bastard sat my ass on the hot stove, and got me with the "literal" crap.

FML.

.

.

.

Being a doctor, I luckily knew how to cure this crap. I put some ice in a bag and held it to my ass.

He tried to help, in a way. Turning off the stove, he tried to massage my ass-cheeks, but I snarled at him.

He sighed, running his long, beautiful fingers through his hair, and frowned.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. You know it was on accident."

"Which one? My butt on the stove or your grammar?"

"The stove, of course," Sasuke said. "How I speak is my own business."

I wanted to punch him there, maybe set his hands on the stove. But I couldn't. I loved him too much to see him in pain.

"You suck."

"Hn."

I removed the ice pack and used my chakra to heal my slightly-burnt ass.

"Are you better now?" he asked, holding my cheeks in his hands.

"Sort of," I muttered, looking away from him. "Physically, yes."

Sasuke groaned.

"Sakura, when will you get over this grammar OCD? Yes, I know it's important to you, but you have to loosen up a little bit. And I can show you how," He said, raising his eyebrows, motioning to the bedroom.

My lip curled down, and I didn't want to look at this fucking douchebag-idiot pissman.

"I'll make it all up to you," Sasuke said, kissing my nose.

Looking in his eyes, I saw that he was sincere.

.

.

.

I left the pot on the stove, letting it cool. I was frozen, petrified-so Sasuke had to carry me to the bedroom, where he dumped me onto the mattress. Hard.

Even though mattresses are soft, my butt still hurt. It would take at least a day or two or it to fully heal.

"Ugh," I moaned in pain.

But Sasuke thought it was in pleasure.

"That's what I want to hear," he said dirtily.

It took him a while to get his clothes off, but he managed quite well, I think.

It took even longer to take mine off, just because he wanted to tease me, the damn bastard.

But it wouldn't work on me, no sir-ee, because my ass hurt too much to recognize pleasure from pain.

He turned me around so that I was on my stomach. Sasuke made me bend my knees and get on them and my hands while he went behind me. In. Hard.

"Damnit, stop being rough, you little-" I screamed.

He slowed down until I was comfortable, until my breathing was steady.

"Thanks," I muttered. Sure, this was a _great _position to be in, especially after the incident in the kitchen.

My favorite was missionary-it was simple, classic, and...well, sweet.

Sasuke liked it, too, (well, he liked all sex positions), but his favorite was...well, it changed every day or so. Today's was doggie.

"Sasuke-kun," I moaned as he kept thrusting in behind me, my ass hurting from the pressure. He grabbed my tits and started playing with them, finishing off what he couldn't in the kitchen.

"Yes, that's right, Sakura..."

Sex was a pleasurable pain. A needing want.

And then-

"Smack that, all on the floor, smack that, give me some more..." Sasuke sung under his breath, making his hand contact with my buttocks. Again. And again. Maybe once more, yeah.

FML.

Dude, my friggin' ass just got burned and now you're smackin' it senseless.

I'll smack some sense into you, bitch.

.

.

.

"Damnit, it hurts!" I screamed, turning away from him, clutching a pillow to my chest.

He slid out, holding his hands behind his back.

"Sorry," he muttered, embarrassed. His member was still erect.

"Hey, do you, like, not care about my physical injury?"

"I was caught up in the moment," he said, looking away sheepishly. "You know what I feel, Sakura."

I groaned, falling onto my back.

DumbassdumbassdumabassDUMBASS.

"You're a dumbass, you know," I groaned, my hand to my head.

I felt him climb over me though my eyes were closed, trying to see those bluepink sparks come back.

"Then you lead today."

He's never let me lead. Ever. So this was a first.

Sasuke pulled me up by my wrist and waited for me to start.

So I did what I wanted with no restrictions.

It was the best thing ever.

Just Sasuke, me, and some good-tasting cum.

Maybe next time, Sasuke might hide my birth-control pills and we'll have a kiddie together.

.

.

.

"I'm literally going to burn from this body heat," I muttered, as Sasuke held me close to him.

Then we both froze.

And Sasuke began chuckling softly.

THen louder.

And louder.

And louder.

"Miss Grammar Freak is a hypocrite, literally speaking," he teased, tickling my chin. I frowned, pouting, looking away from it.

"I didn't mean to say it, damnit!"

He chuckled again, kissing my forehead.

"So no more lessons about correcting me, hm?"

"Fine."

As Sasuke's chuckles gradually stopped, I stared at his perfect face, looking in detail-again. His eyes were closed, and I kissed his nose.

And then I realized how much I took him for granted.

"I love you, sweetie," I muttered, holding him tighter to me.

"Aishiteru."

We were going to take a nap together, in each others' warmth, when he began humming.

"Smack that..."

Oh, fuck.

FUCKFUCKFUCK.

Fuck my already-ruined life.

* * *

**i'm sry guys, i know i havent updated in hafl a month. =( i promise it'll be quicker, since my smmr's here. happy fathers dya, haha.**

**and thi swas really crappy, sinc eit was so rushed .i just started/finished today, so dont judge me. i procrastinate. i projmise the rest of the chpters will be better.**

**i love you all.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	23. Misclick

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-three. sasuke's pov.  
**FML o23: Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary:** Today, I was checking my FaceBook notifications when I got more spam than usual. My wife had changed her FaceBook status from "married" to "widowed." I'm really scared now. FML.

* * *

**.o23.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**M**is**c**li**c**k

damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml.

.

What can I say?

I'm addicted to FaceBook. Not that addicted-I'm not like those geeks who play WoW all day and then die because they don't get up to use the crapper or eat or whatever. No, I'm not that desperate.

But I try to check everyday, if I can.

I could say that I'm popular-300 friend requests a day, tons of messages, and a spamful box of notifications. Oh, and I even have a fanclub in my name, on FaceBook; the "WE LOVE UCHIHA SASUKE MORE THAN LIFE" fanclub.

Unfortunately, my beloved wife isn't in it. Partially because it's run by fat, stalkerish bitches who have nothing else to do but create a fanclub in my name and post pictures of me and gossip and whatnot. I feel like Brangelina or Kristen and Rob in the People magazines.

(But I did join the club. After all, I do love myself).

Sakura, my sexy spouse, is labeled as my wife on FaceBook so that everyone can wow in our glory. Although I see nasty messages on her wall saying "BICHZ BRAK UP WIT SASU KAY KUN OR DIE U PNK SLT," and on mine, "SASU KAY KUN I WUV U MORE ZAN ANYSING PLZ MRRY ME INSTED OF HER I KAN MKE U FEEL SO MUCH BTTER IN BED."

Which was totally untrue.

Sakura was a beast in bed. Which was partially scary. I thought I was the good one.

But we are happily married, with a child on the way. We don't know the sex yet, since we want it to be a surprise. Secretly, I want a beautiful young girl that looks exactly like Sakura.

"Sasuke, get off FaceBook," she sighed as she clutched her stomach, still in the first months of pregnancy. "Come sit with me."

"One second, love," I said, checking the message Naruto had sent me.

"Now."

Her voice was harsh, bitter, killing. She was scary in bed, and with her temper. Even worse, since a baby was on the way. I've read about pregnancy. The mood swings? I'm not ready for it.

All I can say is that I want a girl to pop out of her vagina and into my arms so that I get a reward for dealing with nine months of anger.

.

.

.

She cuddled her head into my neck, grabbing my hands and leading them to her stomach. I pulled up her shirt and kissed her naval area.

"Hello, sweetheart," I murmured. "You're going to be beautiful like your mommy."

She pulled my head to her breasts, and I listened to her steady heartbeat.

"They're going to look like you, tall, dark, and handsome," she said, laughing at her joke.

"Hn."

Through the corner of my eye, I saw a small box appear at the right hand corner of the computer screen. Squinting, I could make out the words.

**Uzumaki Naruto **HAY SASU GAY WAZ UP EMO BICH

Oh, fuck.

Sakura heard the faint beeping noises too, of Naruto's spam.

**Uzumaki Naruto **CUM ON GET ON SASU GAY OR ELZE

Sakura sighed, letting go of my head so that I could finish talking with him. The idiot. What I usually did was bring a bottle of cheap sake, go to Ichiraku's, let him drink and eat, leave him there with the bill, and watch him have a HUGE hangover the next day.

It was hilarious.

**Uchiha Sasuke **shut up, dobe, I'm here.

**Uzumaki Naruto **YAYYYYYYYY!1111!

**Uchiha Sasuke **you're annoying.

**Uzumaki Naruto **u r a teme teme! UR MEAN TO ME =(

**Uchiha Sasuke **meet up at Ichiraku's for dinner? Bill's on me.

**Uzumaki Naruto **is offline. Your message was not sent. Try again later?

Mission accomplished.

.

.

.

I crawled back on the sofa to Sakura, making sure my FaceBook browser was closed.

No more interruptions.

Biting her neck, she moaned as her hands went up my shirt. Feeling my chest with her cold fingers.

"Sas...Sasuke-kun," she whispered as I pulled her shirt up over her bra.

"Shh."

I bent down and kissed the cups holding her womanly chest together. Sliding them down, I fingered her pink buds as I sucked them, while she arched her back. Rubbing her spot down there, she was shaped as an upside down U as her leggings became wetter and wetter as I rubbed her clitoris.

"I wish I had milk to give you, like for our child," she murmured as I kept sucking, as if hot white liquid would pour down my chin.

"I already have the best of you," I muttered, pulling down her leggings so I could taste her essence.

She pulled at my hair and I smirked. "Good girl."

My tongue went into her folds, gently at first, before I let it rest there, flicking back and forth. My thumb was rubbing the little red bud, making her cry out in pleasure without having me put my aching cock in her.

I would wait until later.

Pulling back, my mouth was covered in white. She wiped it away with her beautiful fingers, and kissed me. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to her mouth and kissed me senseless. Tongue and all.

We were interrupted by an unwanted guest who we thought we were rid of for a while.

"YO TEME. I GOT THE SAKE. LET'S GO, BRING YOUR DAMN PAYCHECK, CUZ I'M GONNA EAT LIKE A ROCKSTAR. T-T-TOTALLY DUDE."

I heard Sakura sigh as she pushed me off, putting her leggings back on and reclasping her bra, making sure her shirt was covering everything.

Damn it, Naruto. At least you didn't see anything.

.

.

.

I was with Naruto, who was skipping.

Friggin' skipping.

Trailing behind, I watched as one leg went up, then the other. He reminded me of the cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz.

"Follow the yellow brick road," he hummed. "Follow the yellow brick road!"

Now I imagined him as Dorothy, with pigtails and a blue dress. Heh. That made me chuckle.

He sat down on the stool at Icharaku's, excited, spinning around. "Come on, teme! Order something!"

"I...gotta go," I murmured, holding my stomach, bending over in pain. (Of course, it was fake.) "I-I'm having my period."

...

What.

The.

Fuck.

That just came out wrong. Really, it did.

But Naruto didn't seem to notice. In fact, he reached into his froggy wallet and handed me a tampon.

"I understand," he said, nodding his head solemnly. "Here. It's extra absorbant."

...Now I was the one who was confused. I took it, slowly.

"Uh...thanks."

I was really scared.

So I ran.

.

.

.

Sakrua sighed, staring at the computer.

She wanted to throw it, kick it, destroy it.

Damn FaceBook. Damnit for taking her husband away. FUCKFUCKFUCK.

And she wondered why she had a FaceBook.

So she logged on Sasuke's account, clicked on Internet Explorer, and the home page (FaceBook, of course), popped up. She logged out of his account and put hers in.

**Username**: Haruno(dot)Sakura(at)KonohaMed(dot)org  
**Password: **sasukestoosexyforhispants

She checked her notifications. Sighing, she didn't bother reading any of them, or checking Friend Requests, or page suggestions. Going to her profile, she saw her icon, a picture of her and Sasuke sharing an ice cream cone together in high school.

The box where she could put her information under was filled with, "Hi, I'm Haruno Sakura. I work at Konoha Medical Hospital and I have a big temper. GTFO."

Under that, it said; Married to **Uchiha Sasuke. **Siblings: **Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi, Sai No Name, **and the list went on and on, along with religious views and whatnot.

She looked at the box. "That's not right," she muttered to herself, going to change the info box.

She began clicking and typing away, changing her information that was given over a year ago. But things had changed.

Along with her marriage.

.

.

.

My face was red from the running, my hands still clutching the tampon.

Dropping it, I faced the door, before rummaging through my pockets for a key. Turning it in, I opened the door, and called, "I'm home!"

Sakura was eating strawberry ice cream (Ben and Jerry's), while my computer was untouched.

(Sort of).

He kissed her forehead, ruffling her hair. She smiled.

"Back so soon?"

"Yeah."

She kissed my cheek, before I went to my computer. Logging in, I opened my browser and saw my notifications.

Really, I need to have them blocked or something. But FaceBook's privacy settings are shit. You hear the news and stuff?

Spam was forming, and my browser was freezing. I opened my notifications, seeing which were important.

But I was surprised.

**Uchiha Itachi **commented on your changed relationship status.

**Hyuuga Hinata **commented on your changed relationship status.

**Hyuuga Neji **commented on your changed relationship status.

**328,723 **people commented on your changed relationship status.

What the...fuck?

I didn't change my relationship status.

I checked my profile to see if anyone had hacked into my account, ruining Sakura's and my relationship.

**Relationship status: **Wife is widowed.

So I'm supposed to be dead?

I checked Sakura's profile to confirm that this was happening and that she would be filing for a divorce or something. Please, no, no, no!

**Uchiha Haruno Sakura**

**Relationship status: **Widowed.

...

FML.

I'm really, really scared. I just pissed myself.

Slowly, I went to go get that tampon. Absorb it all up.

Extra absorbancy.

.

.

.

I had been avoiding her for an hour now, scared to go near her.

We were both ninjas, and she knew how to kill. She wasn't afraid of doing it.

I'm really scared. The tampon's soaking up yellow urine. Holy piss holy piss holy piss.

(No, not shit. Tampons don't absorb shit).

She frowned, getting up, capping her ice cream, and trying to touch my arm.

"Sasuke-kun?"

I shrugged her away (something I never did), and made an excuse. "I'm tired."

"Then let's go to bed together."

"No, I'm going to sleep by myself," I said. "On the couch," I added.

Sakura was frowning.

That's not good.

Actually, I think I should be Gaara tonight. The man who never sleeps.

She might slit my throat in my sleep. But why would she want to kill me? Her lover?

...Is it because...

The baby's not mine?

I can't believe it.

Sakura cheated on me with...with Rock Lee.

And it'll have pink hair and bushy pink eyebrows and wear red-green spandex and look like a fucking elf.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?" she touched my forehead.

No, no, I'm not.

I'm definitely not alright.

.

.

.

Sakura groaned, holding her stomach.

Was he suffering from Uchiha PMS? Or what? Had a grudge? Bad time at Naruto's?

Sakura rubbed her stomach, whispering sweet words. "Hi, sweetie," she began. "Daddy's mad right now, so it's just you and me. Unborn fetus and mood swings."

She thought about what happened from Naruto's interruption to Sasuke's coming home.

...Was it FaceBook?

Was he mad at her?

She had to undo the steps. Go back.

She went into FaceBook. Yes, FaceBook. Double checked her profile. See what was wrong.

And then she saw it.

...

"Oh."

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Sakura began banging her head on the keyboard repeatedly. Nonstop.

Facekeyboard. Literally.

.

.

.

I lied on the basement couch, staring at the ceiling. It was cold, dark, and unpleasant without Sakura there.

Why did she want me gone? She didn't show any signs.

Unless she was tired of me and Naruto hanging out together, like old buddies?

Today, especially, she was really upset.

Was it the last straw? Did my best friend ruin her relationship with her husband? Me?

Her FaceBook said Naruto was still her brother.

But...

Huh.

I'm confused.

And I want her bewbs in meh face. And her ass under my hands.

.

.

.

She can't find Sasuke she can't find Sasuke holy crap where is Sasuke?

She's searhcing around the whole house for him, going door to door.

Where else is there a couch?

There's one upstairs, but she checked that already.

And there's one on the main floor, where she is, but he's obviously not there.

Unless...

He's in the basement?

But holy crap, she's too scared to be in the basement. It's dark, and scary, and gloomy, and Sasuke's old torture chamber. She thinks that Karin's skeleton is still hanging from the walls.

Actually, she changes her mind. She knows it's down there. Waiting to reap her soul.

But she has to go. She has to tell him the truth.

Even if she doens't believe it herself.

.

.

.

I heard "Sasuke-kun" all over the house. But I didn't want to get up. I just stared at the ceiling, with cobwebs and whatnot.

Oh, and Karin's skeleton. It still smells of her. And it's gross. I haven't washed this place in two years.

I knew Sakura wouldn't come down here. It's too scary for her.

So this is the perfect place to get away.

I heard the door open, just a crack. I probably didn't shut it hard enough. Maybe it's the wind or something.

Footsteps.

One.

Two.

One.

Two.

They're quiet, soft, almost unhearable. But I can hear it. They're like Sakura's.

But she wouldn't come down here. Ever.

"Sasuke-kun?"

I stand corrected.

Literally, I'm standing now. And I've been corrected.

.

.

.

She saw me, in the middle of the room, and ran to me, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Sasuke-kun!" she squealed. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

This is probably a trick. She's gonna get me into the love trap. Then slit my throat.

She snuggled into me.

Don't get hard, Sasuke, I said to myself. She's gonna kill you, she will kill you...die with pride.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know you're mad because of what happened on...FaceBook," she said, "But it was an accident. Honestly, Sasuke-kun, I swear it was."

I didn't believe her. I saw her kunai pouch next to her leg.

"Hn."

"I'd never kill you. I wouldn't want to live without you."

There you go. Korean soap opera stuff. I wouldn't fall for it. Not this time.

She held me closer to her, and I breathed in. NO. I was INTOXICATED. I tried to breathe it back out, but I think I was choking from it.

Or maybe she was choking me.

She let go of me. "Sasuke-kun?"

I fell to the floor, mouth foaming. Rolling around on the carpet like Grandpa Simpson in the Simpson's movie.

She pulled me up and wiped the foam away.

"Sasuke, stop fooling around. I told you I'm sorry."

"LIES," I screamed, flapping my hands around. "YOU WANT TO KILL ME!"

"Sasuke-kun, it was a misclick. I was editing my info, and I accidentally changed our relationship status."

"Accidentally. You accidentally changed it from married to widowed? You're a liar! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" I shouted. I was too scared to activate Sharingan. The tampon was soaking up more piss.

She slapped me across the face twice. One of her schemes to get me still.

But she stopped, put her hands to her side.

"You're so childish," she muttered, going back upstairs. "I told you it was an accident. You're an absolute idiot."

I watched her walk back upstairs, slamming the door. Karin's skeleton rumbled.

I think I just screwed up. Big time.

.

.

.

Okay, I may be an idiot, but at least I'm a smart idiot.

(I love oxymorons).

I found her lying on the bed, reading a book. Taking it from her, I lied next to her.

"I believe you."

She hmphed, turning away, holding her stomach.

I turned her around to face her.

"I'm sorry for acting like an...an idiot."

It was hard to describe myself as that. Because usually, I'm not.

"You should be," she muttered, sighing. "You always are."

Ouch.

I pulled her close to me, breathing in her hair's scent. Shampoo. Herbal essence. The pink bottle.

I started peeling the straps of her tank top off, watching them roll down her bare arms. She growled, before puting them back on.

Yeah, she was really pissed.

"I love you," I said. And I kissed her, for extra believability.

She sighed.

"Fine, you can touch me."

I smirked, kissing her cleavage, moving up her neck, jaw, to the forehead, and back down to her lips.

Removing the tanktop, I saw her breasts through the cups I had pulled earlier that evening. Absolutely beautiful.

"There's no milk in them, dumbass," she muttered as I bent down to suck them.

I smirked.

"Let's use whipped cream, then."

I pulled out whipped cream from the dresser drawer. She sighed. Sakura was tired of me knowing where all the sex toys were in every spot.

I unclasped her bra and put whipped cream on her erect, pink buds, sucking them. Tasting them. She moaned, arching her back and holding my neck.

She helped me pull her shorts down, and I removed my shirt. And my pants. The belt buckle was stuck, though, so she helped me with that.

We were both top naked, but bottom covered. Pulling down my boxers to my thighs, she groaned at my erection. I was impatient, so she was frowning.

"Bleh."

Her white laced panties were removed. And she was wet, hot, and slick.

I stuck my finger in.

And then another.

And then another.

Soon, I could stick four fingers in-a record, since she was so wet now.

I put her hands over her head, and held them with mine, interlacing our fingers.

"I'm going in," I said, for extra comfort. "Tell me if you feel uncomfortable or want to stop."

"I don't."

So I went in.

.

.

.

"I'm still mad at you for being idiotic. After all, it was a misclick."

"Hn."

She giggled, her hands on her stomach. I put mine over hers.

Seven more months.

I looked at her seriously.

"By the way, you did change your relationship status, right?"

Her eyes widened.

"Oh...fuck."

.

.

.

_"YOU DUMPED ME FOR NARUTO?"_

_"Sakura, I swear, it was a misclick..."_

_"NO, BUT STILL. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU'RE GAY? COULDN'T YOU HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE OUR KID? I'M EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT, DOUCHEBAG!"_

_"I swear, Sakura, it was an accident..."_

_"UCHIHA SASUKE, I WILL CUT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. HAVE A TAMPON READY, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PISS."_

_I already had one. In my pants. Extra absorbant._

_

* * *

_

**stfu, ik it's rushed.**

**fmlfmlfml**

**this wasnt very good. i int like it that much...blah.**

**r&r? flme plz.**

**lov ealways xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**

**check out my dA: itasakusasu-sasusaku, and join my group sasusaku-is-LOVE xD**


	24. Obsession

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com and family guy. LOL.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-four. third person.  
******FML o23: Today, I was chased for three blocks by a girl in a Twilight shirt because I looked a little sparkly. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary:** Today, Sasuke was chased three blocks by Sakura. Why? "Because your skin looked sparkly under the sun." FML. [WARNING; TWILIGHT BASHING AND OOC. because i hate stephenie meyer.]

* * *

**.o24.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**O**_b_s**e**_s_s**i**_o_n

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

Sakura had an obsession, along with the other girls in Konoha.

And it was because of, yes, you know it-

The sparkly "vampire" _Edward Cullen_.

Or, the hairy werewolf, _Jacob Black_.

But both, however, were not appealing to him, anyway. Since he wasn't gay. Of course, he wondered why girls fawned over Eduardo, and yes, some guys, like Naruto ("Jacob can't beat me when it comes to wooing Bella, aka; Sakura-chan! I have more hair on my pubes than he does on his whole body! And me being shirtless is wayyyy hotter than him!").

Of course, that was totally _untrue_.

Not that Sasuke was gay. No, he was _definitely _not gay. He was straight, straight, STRAIGHT as a line. But Naruto thought otherwise.

"You're as straight as a circle, teme!"

"FUCK YOU."

Yeah.

.

.

.

Sakura, once again, had her head in a Twilight book, which she was reading for the millionth time.

"How many times do I have to tell you, ugly, Edward is _abusive," _Sai said, sketching Naruto posed as that one thinking statue on a rock. If Naruto thought, which he didn't.

"Shut up! No he's not!"

"How do you explain the bruises on Bella?" he replied back, making sure he drew Naruto's non-existent dick, if it could be possibly drawn.

"How do you explain that you know this stuff?" she shouted back, flipping the page.

Sai didn't reply, hoping to end the awkward conversation between them. He flipped to the next clean page in his sketchbook and began drawing away.

"Yeah. I win. Bitch," she said, blushing at the passage she was reading. They (Edward and Bella) had just had sex. And she realized that she had bruises all over her from when Edward was doing her. And then the feathers and whatnot were flying because he didn't want to bite her.

"Doesn't Edmund have dead sperm or something?" Naruto asked, out of his pose. "Like, isn't he a living dead dude?"

Sakura shut the book, glaring at Naruto.

"Shut _up_. He does not. His sperm is perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch. And it's _Edward, _not Edmund, dumbass."

"Edmund, Edward, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, what's the difference?" Naruto said, scratching his head in confusion. "They're all gay, anyway."

Naruto could now confirm that when given a blow to the head, you could see stars and sometimes, if lucky, rubber duckies.

.

.

.

Sakura was reading the part where Bella was being bitten by Edward to save him. And his freak-child. Even after the whole "oh, I'm not going to bite you because I love you, blah, blah, blah..."

You fail, Eddie.

"Sakura, you're behind on your training. Put the book down and get to work," Kakashi said, staring at his own porno.

"You're one to talk," she scoffed, blushing at the intimate writings. "You and your...Penthouse magazine."

"It's _Playboy_, not Penthouse. Icha Icha comes first, but hot American girls come next."

Sasuke rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, we really do need to get a move-on. Our mission starts in..." Sasuke calculated the time. "Sixteen hours."

"Shut up, Sasuke-kun. No one cares, anyway. Naruto's going to complete it by himself anyway," Sakura said. "He always does."

"Dattebayo!" Naruto said, holding an ice pack to his eye, and trying to superglue his tooth back into his bloody mouth.

Kakashi looked up from his book.

"You want to heal him?"

"Tch, no," she muttered, turning another page.

.

.

.

_We have forever to work on it, Edward said._

_The End._

Sakura began crying, closing Breaking Dawn and hugging Sai close to her, who, secretly, enjoyed the warmth.

"I can't believe it's over," she sobbed. "Every freakin' time I read it, I always cry," she said, wiping away the tears.

Sai brushed her tears away with his...paintbrush.

"It's okay, ugly. Maybe next time Stephanie Meyer'll write another book like Midnight Sun or whatever, and then bitch about how it got leaked."

"It's _Stephenie _Meyer, you idiot."

"Whatever, you can't hear the difference while speaking," Sai retorted, putting his paintbrush away. "She sucks, anyway."

A red hand mark was showing on his face. He cupped his cheek. "Owwh," he muttered. "That hurt."

"She does _not _suck!"

"Yes she does," Kakashi muttered under his breath.

The last thing Kakashi remembered was his porno magazines with the hot blonde babes and Lady Gaga on the cover being ripped up and fed to the dogs.

.

**sixteen hours later.**

.

It's eight AM, and everyone's as bright as dusk.

Har, har.

Sakura's eyes were red, as though she had been crying. And she had been, because while watching the Twilight marathon on ABC Family, Edward left Bella to "protect her." And so Sakura had kept the whole village awake with her crying, along with the other girls.

Kakashi, too, was crying, but not because of the marathon. Because that edition of Playboy magazine had Lindsay Lohan _naked_ before she got AIDS and did drugs and whatnot. And it was gone. _Gone_. Kakashi had given anesthesia to the dogs before removing the pieces of the magazines from their stomach, which didn't handle the porn too well. Trying to piece it back together, he failed, because no superglue was available since Naruto had used it all.

Sai was crying because he had accidentally dropped Linseed Oil onto his sketchbook, and it made a huge stain in the middle of the paper. So he, too, cried.

Naruto was crying because Sakura had rejected him. Again. And, also, because Kakashi was pummeling him to a pulp _because _the superglue was gone. So Naruto needed another icepack, which froze his tears.

And Sasuke...was just being Sasuke. Crying inside, dying inside, like the little emo boy he is.

This is the brave, wonderful Team 7, who can accomplish anything.

Yeah, it's good to know that Konoha has such amazing leaders who'll protect the village at any cost.

.

.

.

"So what's the mission?" Naruto yelled, the ice pack slowly melting in the sun. "You haven't even told us yet!"

Kakashi was back to reading about hot Japanese babes, but his mind traveled back to Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love, before the drugs.

Sakura was too upset to talk, so Sasuke did most of it. Which he never did, being the stoic bastard he is.

"Tsunade told us that we have to aid Raw...Rawbur-te? Rawbur-te Puh-ttin-sun to Hollywood, California. Where's Hollywood?" Sasuke asked, confused. "I've never heard of a Hollywood in Japan."

Sakura slapped Sasuke across the face.

"His name is _Robert Pattinson_. And Hollywood's in America, you dumbass!"

Sakura had never talked to Sasuke that way. She was probably PMSing, he thought. But damn, she can punch.

"Isn't he the gay guy?" Sai asked.

Sakura laughed, throwing her head back. And she slapped her knee, because it really was a knee-slapper joke.

"Haha, you're _one _to talk! Look how gay you are!"

Sai looked down at his belly shirt, and his penis.

"I'm not gay. I'm just gifted for having such a strong, delicate penis."

Naruto stared at Sai, the ice pack removed and his eye all purple around it. "What the fuck, dude?"

"I have been given a penis from the heavens, whereas you, sir, have none."

Naruto turned red, steam coming out of his ears.

"For your information, I do! It's simply pushed inwards to simulate a vagina!"

Kakashi leaned over to Sakura, who was green.

"Don't they do that for sex changes?"

She puked all over Sasuke's feet. And he was wearing sandals.

FML.

.

.

.

Sasuke was sitting on a tree. Alone. Not kissing, fucking, or some other seven letter word.

"Sasuke-kun! Want to go to lunch?" Sakura called from below.

Sasuke looked down at Sakura, who was as small as an ant. He jumped down, and she smiled greatly. Her mouth resembeled Julia Roberts's.

Suddenly, her expression changed.

"Wait, Sasuke-kun...your skin...it's so pale, I've never noticed it before."

His skin was as white as flour, a little darker in the sunlight.

"It's always that pale."

She touched his bare chest through the crack of his shirt.

"And, your skin...it...do you put makeup on?"

"Makeup?" he asked, confused.

"Oh my gosh," Sakura said. "Your skin is sparkling."

"...Wait, what?" he asked.

He was chased three blocks down the village, running away from Sakura and the other girls who were chasing him because he had sparkly body-glittered skin.

Judging by Naruto's snickers, he knew that he had put body glitter on his chest.

Not only was he gay, he was also going to die.

During the mission, Sasuke would cut his throat. In his sleep.

.

.

.

"Hi, I'm Robert Pattinson," the man said in his English accent. "I need to go home to Hollywood so I can have sex with my beautiful girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, who frustrates me to no end but at the same time makes me love her more and more. We're off and on," he said.

He didn't look anything like he did in the movies. He actually looked _normal_, not gay and pale and sparkly.

"OHMYGOSH YOU'RE ROBERT PATTINSON," Sakura shrieked, throwing her arms around his neck. "ILOVEYOU."

At the sound of that, Sasuke could hear girls stampeding through eight different directions, screaming, "WE LOVE YOU EDWARD!"

He didn't have _that _many girls following _him_...

And, just to piss Sasuke off some more, since Naruto saw the expression when Sakura hugged Robert, he said, "HOLY CRAP, IS THAT TAYLOR LAUTNER?"

Using spray-on tan, he covered Sasuke's body so that he was brown all over, and tore his shirt off while restyling his hair.

He nearly lost his virginity that afternoon.

.

.

.

Sakura was talking to Robert on the way of the mission, and Sasuke became angrier with every word she said.

"So what's it like being with Kristen? And about that fling with Emilie de Raven?"

They began to talk rapidly, in her accented English and in his British English.

Sasuke didn't know how his teammates knew that he was pissed, but judging from his constipated frown, the bits of spray on tan still there, Naruto's jacket around him, and the "Kill Rawbur-te Puh-ttin-sun" look, they knew he was pretty pissed.

Because he was _jealous_.

.

**the hotel room. LOL.**

.

"Sleep with me, Robert," Sakura begged, nearly in tears.

"No, I'm sorry, Sakura. You're a great girl, and I like you a lot, but...I'm in love with Kristen."

This was exactly like Twilight. Except he was digging this Japanese chick.

"I see. Is this what you want?"

"Yes."

Sakura was crying, now. She hugged Naruto as Sai used his paintbrush to wipe away her tears again.

"I'd better get another room, in case she tries to rape me," Robert said.

"I'm going to do so much more than rape you," Sakura muttered, holding a kunai against her heart.

She was going to kill the most famous guy in the world.

Oh noes.

.

Sakura shared a bed with Sasuke, who seemed the less likely to do anything.

How _wrong _she was.

.

_"Edward," she muttered. "Yes, yes, please...please continue, I'm going to...oh, Edward!"_

_"I'm not Edward," the sexy voice said. "I'm not."_

_"W-Who are you, then?" Sakura asked, as she felt the throbbing cock leave her warm, hot womanhood._

_"I'm your lover."_

_His lips captured hers in a swift kiss._

She swore she heard the voice before. She just didn't know where.

She heard it everyday, she knew that.

When she woke up the next morning, Sasuke was where he was, though his hair was slightly disheveled and his shirt was off, boxers backwards, while her hair was frizzy, her core sticky and warm, and lovemarks all over her body.

He was probably too hot. That's why he took his clothes off.

She was probably too hot, too. Her clothes were on backwards.

Weird night. Probably the heat.

.

.

.

Everything seemed normal, and Robert was leaving for the flight to America, wearing his wig and sunglasses.

"Bye," the team said, Kakashi, Sai, and Naruto waving, while Sasuke smirked.

"So long, queer."

Sakura couldn't take it. Her lip trembeled, and she wrapped her arms around Rob, hugging him.

"Say hi to Kristen for me."

"Will do," he said, ruffling her hair. "Bye, guys!"

It took all of Sasuke's will not to kill him with a kunai, right there, right then.

.

.

.

"Sakura, we had sex. Last night, before Rawbur-te left."

"W-What?"

She and him were in a bar, each of them drinking a small shot glass.

"You and me. We made love. It was me you were being touched by. I kissed you. Did you like it?"

Sakura blushed furiously.

"Y-Yes."

"Would you like to do it again?"

"Yes."

The sound came out more confidently this time. He intertwined his hand with hers, and they went back to the hotel. Their own private suite.

.

.

.

"Twilight's gay. Have you ever tried reading _Harry Potter_?" Sasuke said, stroking her cheek with his hand.

"No..."

"You should. Here's a copy," Sasuke said, retrieving it from his bag. "Start reading."

She sighed, taking the book while Sasuke held her tight.

"Keep reading."

.

.

.

"Oh my gosh. Harry is _sooo _attractive!"

"Sakura, shut up."

"B-But it's true!"

"Hey, guys, we have another mission!" Naruto said, interrupting the lovers' quarrel. "Transporting another man back home, to England."

Sakura's eyes sparkled as she clasped her hands together.

"Could it be...?"

"Hi, I'm Daniel Radcliffe."

"SQUEEE!"

* * *

**yeah, no matter what you say, ik this is crappy. 1. i didnt have nay inspration at all. 2. i'm going to oktaon so im rely excited. mabye ill see u there. ill be wearing a cardboard sign that has my ff and da on it.**

**also, i hate twilight, but i love the actors of twilight, especially ashley greene and dakota fanning. and rob is the only actor to be in twilight and hp. he was awesomer in HP though, LOL.**

**did you catch thefamily guy references?**

**and btw, DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS MINE.**

**dotn you dare take him away. he is MINE.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	25. Weakling

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-five. sakura's pov.  
******FML o25: Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary:** Sasuke likes things that aren't really suited for guys, such as knitting, cooking, and shopping. I never really thought much of it until I realized that, at the gym, I lifted heavier weights than him. I'm a foot shorter, too. FML.

* * *

**.o25.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**W**_e_a**k**_l_i**n**_g_

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

I'll admit it.

I absolutely _hate _when people call me weak. Because really, I am _not weak_.

Even though sometimes I get a little over-emotional (especially during the _months_), and I like to cry a lot, it doesn't mean that I'm fucking _weak_. Cough, _Ino_, cough.

I also hate it when people, like my boyfriend, call me annoying, but that's a whole different story on a different level.

Anyway, my life was alright before today—at the gym. My (absolutely beautiful) boyfriend, Uchiha Sasuke, was the cause of it.

Truthfully, he isn't all "I watch ESPN every night, tune into the SuperBowl at the bar, reenact gay wrestling and or boxing with Naruto, and the World Cup." Well, he's some of that (thankfully not the gay part).

He's kinda girly—well, sort of. Not like a French gay guy, but gay as in, "Ohmehgawsh, we need to go to the _salon_! Look at my nails, the paint's already chipped. Can you believe that? And my hair, I need to put it under the curling irons. My perm is coming out." Like, Itachi gay.

I go to the gym with Sasuke-kun to work on my cardio (I have nice thighs. Heh) and pump some irons sometimes (look at my feminine muscles). We also lift weights together, so, yeah. We're an awesome couple, like Xena and Rhyrhy.

But today—ugh, don't even get me started on today.

Okay, I'll spit it out.

We were at the gym and I was lifting weights. Normal story, until we get to the part—

I was lifting weights _ten pounds heavier _than Sasuke.

He's six feet, and I'm five feet.

FML.

.

.

.

I'd say that I wear the pants in the relationship. It's usually me on top unless he's feeling extra rowdy. Or if I'm not in the mood. But yeah, usually it's me.

Which I don't mind. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that...sometimes, Sasuke's too, well...uncomfortable to be on top because he's afraid I'll make fun of his "weewee." And I only make fun of it because he _calls _it a weewee. Dude, I fucking _choked _on that thing! That's how big it is.

But he keeps referring it as his "weewee" and mine as my "private part."

Sasuke, if you're reading this, we're _twenty-fucking-two _years old.

Grow up. _Please_.

Ugh, I swear, sometimes _Naruto's _even more mature than you. Which is an insult.

Then again, sometimes I wonder how you got that Ph.D. Oh wait, you didn't. _I _did.

And you know what you got? You got a gift certificate for a free five foot material from Jo Ann Fabrics, which you crocheted into a sweater for me with your family's symbol (which actually wasn't bad. I like to wear it because it smells like you).

There's a difference between you and me, but you know, opposites attract.

.

.

.

"Hey, Sakura," Sasuke purred, kissing my neck. "Let's have some _fun_."

"When you say fun, do you mean that I'm the one giving you fun, as always, or you actually touching me?"

Sasuke ignored it, pulling down the straps of my tanktop to my shoulders. I pushed them back up, and watched his hand crawl up my thigh.

"Are you wet?"

I sighed, hugging my thighs closer together. The little son of a bitch was such a turnoff, but yet, he could arouse me sooo much. He was terrible.

And I loved him. Sadly.

.

.

.

Sasuke was on his rocking chair (you know, the kinds where the old ladies sit on), crocheting. I could see the tip of the Uchiha symbol fan becoming pictured onto a blue background.

"Sasuke? What are you doing? Put that down and let's go do something together."

"Like...?" he asked. "Do you want to go shopping for groceries, or maybe bead some jewelry, or try some lingerie on at Vicky's Secret?"

That actually wasn't a bad idea.

"Actually, sorry, I can't go to Vic's—I forgot that women try to jump me there, so that's out of the option. How about sharing cooking secrets? Or maybe we could watch that new movie, When in Rome or something."

Ugh. My life sucks, so, so much.

Fuck my non sexual appealing life.

.

.

.

"I'm going to the Gym," Sasuke said, throwing at towel over his shoulder as he pulled on a nylon black T-shirt, and white gym shorts. Converse sneakers were on his feet, along with clean white socks.

"I'll go, too," I said, changing my own clothes. I pulled off my tanktop and rolled down my shorts. Putting on my spandex ones and my jogging bra, I grabbed one of my own towels and swung it over my shoulder, holding a waterbottle with the words "SAKURA" on it. Because the last time I put "SASUKE" on it, I remember drinking that water and I got sent to the ER for three days straight. Turns out, I had contracted Contagious Sasuke's Sluts Disease.

Sasuke turned on the ignition as he helped me put my seatbelt on, making sure it was tight enough "so I don't go out the windshield."

"Thanks."

He smirked at me, (one of those beautiful smirks), and started the car. We were driving along the sides of the streets, running over the fangirls with "Marry me, Sasuke-kun!" signs. Half of them were already dead, sitting outside our house everyday, not getting up to eat, drink, or defecate. So every week, we hired a male maid (because the females would rape him) to clean up the feces on our sidewalks.

I turned on the radio, turning it to my favorite radio station.

"You're listening to Konoha's Hottest Hits, two thirty PM. We have a caller from...hm, let's see...caller, you're on the line, what is your song request?"

I heard the voice (hm, funny, I feel like I've heard it before...) incredibly clearly, as if it were right next to me. The radio altered the pitch a little bit, but I could still make out the tone.

_Play the song _Alejandro, _by Lady Gaga._

Okay, I like Lady Gaga, but this guy was screwed up. Guys only like Lady Gaga for Pokerface, and her stripteases and music videos. Not for the music. Girls can like Lady Gaga, and that's totally okay. But damn, this guy...

I was about to complain to Sasuke. I turned my head, and realized why the voice sounded so clear.

"Sasuke, you shouldn't talk while driving," I muttered. "Hang up the damn phone."

_Caller, we're having some difficulties hearing you_—_caller, are you okay? I hear screaming. Caller? Caller, I think I just heard a steering wheel crash into a cement wall. _

_"GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE, SASUKE."_

_"NOT UNTIL THEY PLAY MY SONG."_

Sasuke held the wheel with one hand, Sakura with the other. "Come on, Sakura, let go...I need to hear something about Mexicans..."

.

.

.

Our car was left burning on the street, as I grabbed my waterbottle and put the flames out. This really sucked. Sasuke put his arm around my waist and ruffled my hair. "Sorry, Sak. But you know, now that my radio's gone, you have to sing for me."

"I'm not _fucking singing_."

"Ooh, touchy. Looks like someone's on her period," he teased. Which was actually true, but I was just pissed overall, because he was being stupid. As always.

I kneed him in the crotch, and he winced.

"Damnit."

"So, come on, or I"m leaving you right now. I'll meet you at the Gym."

Sasuke grabbed his dick, holding it against his shorts while he ran to catch up with me. I laughed at his perseverance, and couldn't help but be moved by it. My arm was around his waist, and I kissed his cheek.

"You're a fucking idiot."

.

.

.

For some reason, when you enter a gym, you feel like the atmosphere's changed and you feel healthier. I saw Sasuke sniff in deeply, then breathe out. He flexed his muscles, which made half the girls in faint, the ones in the swimming pool sinking to the bottom.

He laughed at the attention, wiggling his eyebrows at me to see if I was jealous. And I was, not that I would admit it.

"Come on," I muttered, grabbing his wrist. "You're not a sex symbol."

"Wrong. I am."

I _tched_ and led him up the stairs to the weights. I grabbed two dumbbells from the rack, and began lifting. Sasuke grabbed his own two, and lifted. We were in front of the TV, and making idle chat, while our arms were going up and down.

His weights looked small, but I bet it was because it was extra heavy. It was a silver color, like metal, anyway. I read the label on the side of the dumbbell. Twenty pounds.

Not bad. Last time I was lifting fifteen.

Sasuke put down his dumbbells, sweating profusely, wiping his head off with the towel. Squinting my eyes, I looked at the small number engraved onto the side.

_10 LBS._

No, no, that's totally wrong...it has to be wrong, I know it, because look at his _muscles_. Dude, they're fucking huge. It's like POPEYE, except he doesn't eat spinach. He eats tomatoes.

He began drinking from the water fountain, shaking the sweat out of his hair. It was really hot. I nearly dropped my dumbbells.

But I put down one, and lifted his. I expected to dislocate my arm from the weight, but it was..._light_. It was lighter than mine, and I began tilting towards the side with my own dumbbell. I double checked the number: still ten pounds.

"Sasuke...how...how much can you lift?" I said, dreading the answer.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, that. Ten pounds is my best. These guns don't grow by themselves, you know," he said, flexing.

You know, it wouldn't be as bad if I were taller than him. But like I said, I'm roughly about five feet. He's about six. That didn't help. At _all_.

And I dropped my dumbbells. On my foot. The same one.

FML.

.

.

.

"You've gotta be fucking _shitting _me," I muttered, lying down on the benchpress table, watching him hover over me.

"Hn? What's the matter, Sakura?" he said, twirling my hair around his finger. "Nothing bad happened. So we lifted weights. You lift 20. Big deal."

"That's it, it _is _a big deal, Sasuke! You're a man! Ever since we've gotten together, you've done all the stuff a normal woman should do! You sew, and you shop, and you clean, and just about _everything_! You're absolutely feminine, Sasuke, and it's not right! You're too handsome and muscular to be feminine, and your dick proves it! I have been a sex-craved woman for as long as I can remember, and you fail to give me the passion I need _every single night_. You're like a fucking _gay _man, Sasuke, and I can't handle it! When can _I _be the woman in the relationship, just for once?"

I began breathing harshly, angry at the world. My life sucked, I know it did, because this was happening. He looked at me, his eyes soft, and he held me tight.

"I'm sorry."

Luckily, the gym was near closing time, so no one heard my little rant. Hopefully.

"You should really communicate more, you know. Instead of bottling it up, you should let it out. Remember, you got that Ph.D on psychology and human mental diseases, not me. Hell, I didn't even get a Ph.D, if it makes you feel any better. You study this kind of crap, yet you yourself never follow it."

He had a point. The bastard had a fucking point.

"W-Well...I guess that's true," I confessed, while he held me tighter, smirking.

"I'm smart, hn?"

"Sure."_ Let him have his five minutes of peace_.

He lied down on the empty benchpress. "Come here," he said.

I thought that he wanted me to climb over him, but instead, he lifted me up behind my back and ass and began lifting me.

"One, two, three..."

He got all the way to fifteen until I yelled at him to stop. He laughed, put me down, and gave me a big kiss on the lips.

"You're _such _an idiot."

"W-What? I don't get it..."

He put the towel on his shoulder, not turning back. "I'll be outside, waiting for the taxi. Come out when you understand, you little dipshit. I love you," he said, blowing me a kiss.

I stood there in confusion, replaying the moments. What was he trying to say? I didn't understand...oh.

He can fucking _benchpress 95 pounds_? And he left me to think of it?

Little douchetard. You're such a sneaky bitch. And I bet you don't even _like _half of the feminine crap you do.

I wish I'd known it sooner.

FML.

* * *

**OMFGGGG sorry for the major late update. im rly sorry about that cuz i didnt rellay like my first prompt halfway, then i witched and i didnt like this prompt either...but i decided to work on it. sorry for this being a short and sucky chapter, and because of ths, i will make another chapter in a wek. no promises though, but if that's bad too, then my ff life is screwed. LOL.**

**aghh. i'm so not proud of this...**

**-ohh, &&xena  
**


	26. Mother Knows Best

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-six. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o26: ****Today, after waking up, my girlfriend went for a bath, and I went downstairs to go speak to my mum. She asked where my girlfriend was, I told her that she was having a bath, to which she replied with, "She's in the bath? Why aren't you in there with her? You're boring."**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary:** Last night, I invited my girlfriend over. After waking up, she went to take a bath, and I went downstairs for breakfast. Okaa-san asked where Sakura was, and I told her she was having a bath, to which she said, "She's in the bath? Why aren't you there with her? You're _sooo _boring." FML.

* * *

**.o26.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**M**_o_t**h**_e_r **K**_n_o**w**_s _B**e**_s_t

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

To tell you honestly, I'm actually sort of_ embarrassed _by my mother. It's worse than the "Sasuke-kun! Introduce me to your little friends!" or "Don't forget your tomato boxers!" or even the "Have fun, sweetie! I love you!"

Yeah, she does that sort of stuff. But it goes _way _further than that, down to my intimate personal life, meant for me, and _only _me.

"Did you have sex yet? With who? Is she pretty? Nice? Smart? How old is she? What did it feel like? Did you use protection?"

Usually, mothers would be embarrassed to ask their son or daughter that. But her? No, she's in her own league.

There's no stopping Uchiha Mikoto. Not even Uchiha Fugaku, probably the bravest man ever lived.

(But he didn't live to tell that story. He _couldn't. _The pain was too big. The scars were too deep. The wounds were overflowing with blood. It was painful).

Women.

They always got their way.

.

.

.

Like my girlfriend, Haruno (soon to be) Uchiha Sakura. Whatever she wanted from me, she got.

"Sasuke-kun! Let's get some ice cream!"

"Sasuke-kun! Let's go shopping!"

"Sasuke-kun! Let's have sex!"

They weren't big deals, but yeah, I gave her what she wanted, all the time. Except for one time.

"Sasuke-kun, let me play with your hair!"

"No."

I've honestly never seen her more upset than that, so I let her. For a little bit.

But I gave in, so I guess I still gave her what she wanted.

.

.

.

Last night, I invited Sakura for a "sleepover," which usually meant _sexsexsex_. Sleeping. Over. cuddled up in the other one's bed. Taking off their clothes slowly, teasing, licking, moaning, kissing, grabbing for a condom, and then _BOOM_. Then the afterward, which was really sweet and peaceful.

Aa.

So I led her up the stairs, after Mom finished talking to her and playing dressup makeover parties that she did when Itachi and I were little, except we wouldn't respond as enthusiastically as Sakura...

Anyway, I sort of _grabbed _Sakura by the wrist, and led her upstairs. To the bed. In my room. And we closed the door before the sound of, "DON'T FORGET TO USE A CONDOM!" echoed in through the cracks.

Sakura blushed, and I cursed softly before I carried her on the mattress. "Lie down, sweetheart," I muttered as I went through my drawers for a spare condom.

Her light pink hair contrasted with my navy blue sheets, so I took a while just to look at her, sprawled out so beautifully like a king's feast. A feast of beauty for me.

"Is something wrong?"

I shook my head, slapping myself back into reality. "No, nothing, love."

I was about to get the condom from the drawer until she pulled my hand and made me fall on top of her. She smiled, saying, "I'm on the pill now. I know how it must suck to have to feel things through latex, so I wanted to do you a favor, neh?"

Thank.

_God_.

This was probably the best thing that's happened since that one busy man created a sandwich by sticking ham in the middle of two pieces of bread.

A minute later, I went down on her. _BABY ARE YOU DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN?_

I'm totally down. You know why? Because Sakura was _LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW _without her apple-bottom jeans, and the boots with the fur. Cuz only I was looking at her.

Next thing we knew? We hit the floor. Hard.

There's supposed to be a song for that, but I can't come up with one right now other than _I WANNA HAVE SEX ON THE BEACH. COME ON, EVERYBODY, SEX ON THE BEACH!_

My iPod had the best playlist _ever_.

.

**eight o'clock. am.**

**.**

"Sakura?" I mumbled, opening my eyes slowly. She slept next to me, smiling (how cute), and I smiled, too, trying to get up without waking her.

"Sasuke-kun?" she mumbled back. "Good morning."

"Sorry for waking you," I said apologetically. Damn, I wasn't good at this.

She yawned, stretching her arms, hugging me closer to her. "It's okay, I was going to wake up anyway.

"Aa."

Feeling a slight stickiness between our legs, she said, "I'm going to go take a bath, sweetie. I'll be down in a few."

I smirked, nodding. Picking up my clothes, I began dressing and heading down for breakfast.

I smelled eggs.

EGGS. GET YOUR EGGS HERE! FRESH AND WHITE EGGS ARE HERE!

Oh, so no brown eggs? You racist hen, wanting to lay white eggs and not brown. THEY TASTE THE SAME, YOU LITTLE FUCKER.

Ahem.

.

.

.

"Hi, okaa-san," I said, sliding down the banister to my eggs and tomatoes. She put two on a plate for me, and a separate plate for Sakura (knowing what she liked). She looked past me, up the stairs, and frowned. "Where's Sakura-chan?" she asked.

"Oh, she's taking a bath," I said, picking up my chopsticks and beginning to eat.

Mom raised an eyebrow.

"Neh? In the bathtub?"

"Yeah."

"Why aren't you there with her, Sasuke-kun? Ugh, you're _sooo _boring."

Upstairs, I heard Itachi laughing, saying, "I'll go with her."

The only thing worse than having your brother say that he'll fuck your girlfriend is your mom telling you that your sex life is boring. After all, mother knows best.

FML.

.

.

.

Sakura was washing herself, relaxing in the warm water. She washed her neck, face, breasts, pits, tummy, ass, thighs, her privates, and her feet.

She heard the door open to the bathroom, and saw Itachi, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"I'll wash with you, so we save the water used. I'm very green, you know."

But the next thing he knew was that stars really do show when you get hit on the head. Hard.

.

.

.

The door opened again, and Sakura said, "If you seriously think that you can get here again, forget it, Uchiha!"

"It's Sasuke."

She began blushing furiously, hiding herself behind the bath curtain.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun. Sorry. I thought...well, never mind," she said nervously, laughing.

I raised an eyebrow, and began stripping.

"W-What are you doing?"

She began hiding behind the curtain even more, now, so all I could see were her shoulders and half her face.

"I'm getting into the bathtub with you."

"Why?"

I raised another eyebrow, stepping into the water next to her.

"Why not?"

"Tell me why, you little pervert!" she squealed, trying to hide herself from me. I laughed, and grabbed her arms.

"Is it because your mom told you to? Ugh, Sasuke, you're _such _a momma's boy."

Correction. The only thing worse than having your mother tell you that your sex life is boring is having your girlfriend agree with her.

Fuck my sex life.

.

.

.

"I like rubber duckies, don't you? And bubble baths. Let's make one right now, I'll pour the bubbles in!" Sakura said, dumping the bubble mixture in.

"Sakura..."

"Look, Sasuke-kun! Aren't they cute? Here, I'll give you a bubble beard!"

She put soap on my face, and I spit it out, looking at the white foam on my mouth. (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. LOL). She giggled, and said, "You look like Santa Claus!"

"Then what are you?"

"I'm the queen from Narnia, silly," she said, putting bubbles on herself. I couldn't see her breasts through the foam, so I tried to push them away, but they just kept coming back!

"Like the white queen from Alice in Wonderland?"

"Sort of."

Before we were about to kiss, Mom just decided to run in, check on us, "ARE YOU GUYS DOING IT YET?", and ruin the moment.

Well, for me, at least.

.

.

.

"Sakura-chan, when Sasuke-kun was little, I used to put him in the bathtub with Itachi-kun and they would play together in the water, when Sasuke made little bubbles come up from...you know," Mikoto said, sharing my deepest, darkest secrets with her. I growled, while she and Sakura laughed.

Mom was kneeling next to us on the bathtub. I held my knees together, covering myself with bubbles, while Sakura and Mom talked nonstop. Hello, you're not supposed to be here right now...Wrong place, wrong time. Get. Out.

"That's _soooo _cute!" Sakura squealed.

"I have pictures, I'll show them to you once you get out!" Mikoto said. Sakura was ready to cilmb out, before i held her wrist and stopped her.

"Kaa-san, if you even _try_..."

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, don't be such a pussy. Sakura-chan deserves to see them, after dealing with an ass like you for God knows how many years."

Ouch.

"You want some ice for that burn, Sasuke-kun?"

Double ouch.

I leaned over to the bathtub faucet and turned the water on to cold.

I didn't want to admit it, but that sort of turned me on. The burns. And stuff. I just hope that they can't see my huge boner through the bubbles.

.

.

.

"Isn't he cute here? Look, we even bought him a tomato hat!" Mom exclaimed as Sakura was giggling, cuddling closer to see the pictures.

And here I was, at the end of the tub, huddled in a corner with a huge erection.

I decided to move forward, and then back.

Huh.

That felt kind of fun. Sort of. It made this little wave.

So I did it again. And again. And again, until I screamed, "TIDAL WAVEEE," and the tsunami washed all over Mom and Sakura.

All I can say was that my mother was pissed, because now her new clothes were all wet. But ha, that's what you get if you show someone my baby pictures, bitch.

Soon, I had the same punishment as Dad. But I'm living to tell the story.

After all, there is no stopping Mikoto Uchiha.

.

.

.

"You're a jerk, you know?" Sakura said as she, too, huddled in her own corner on the far side of the bathtub. Everytime I tried to get close to her, she would move away.

"Sakura..."

"I _wanted _to see those pictures! And I finally had a chance to, but _nooo_. Of course, _you _had to ruin it. Again. Ugh, Sasuke, sometimes you're unbelievable!"

"Hn."

"You're an ass."

I admit it. My boner was, like, sticking out of the foam now. So I grabbed her wrist, pulled her on top of my lap, and kissed her. Kissed her full on the mouth, held her body to mine, and began touching her through the water.

She was so soft.

"Mm, let go, you bastard...I'm supposed to be mad at you, but I can't when you're like this," she said, trying to push me away.

I chuckled. Sakura was so cute.

"I don't wanna let go." Fuck, now I sounded like a brat. Which, partially, I was. In a good way. I think.

She pursed her lips, making sure mine were not within a foot of hers. Rgh, that little temptress. She makes me want to put my dick between a toaster oven and set it on low heat while I pelvic thrust into it.

Seriously, it feels really, really good.

Anyway, she sighed (dramatically, her shoulders drooping), and gave up. "Will thirty seconds of making out shut you up?"

"Let's see where it goes."

She put her hand behind my neck and kissed me, straddling my hips as my cock was against her thighs. I grabbed her ass, directing her to ride in me.

Water sex was so good. I didn't even mind the bubbles anymore, partially because it created that erotic suspense to it, and partially because half of them were gone.

"Oh," she moaned, thrusting her neck back. "Sasuke-kun, oh..."

"That's right, sweetheart, say my name," I said, groaning myself. "Let it all out, Sakura, don't hold back," I muttered, while her hands were on my shoulders and mine were on her thighs. She was bouncing up and down, feeling me enter her and leave her, and she scratched my skin, leaving red nail marks trailing from my collarbone to my ribs.

I held her breasts in my hands, feeling the smoothness of her skin through wrinkled fingers, the smell of lavender soap and chrysanthemum shampoo in her hair. Kissing her skin gently, I lifted her up and wiped the bubbles off her breasts. I placed butterfly kisses on her skin, and sucked her nipple gently.

"Mm...that feels good..." she said, pushing my head to her chest. "Please don't stop, Sasuke-kun."

"Of course not."

She began stroking my chest, running her fingers over my man nips. Tugging at them tenderly, she gave me a mischievous wink before pressing her lips to my jaw.

That is _it_. This woman is driving me _crazier _than when she purposely asked me if we wanted to make love for the first time, and then began teasing me nonstop with all her "foreplay" and "RPGing" and "stripteasing/poledancing/Lady Gaganess."

This means war.

After all, love is a battlefield.

.

.

.

She warmed up the water and straddled my sides. I felt her, down there, felt her stickiness and her warmth and stuck a finger in.

"More, you can fit more, Sasuke-kun."

I put another in, until she dragged my whole hand put a freakin' three fingers in herself.

Damn.

Last time I checked, we could only fit two.

"You're tight, love. Relax a little bit, it's only me," I said, feeling her walls clench my fingers.

I could feel the muscles retract, and the new juices covering my fingers. Making sure she had her hands steady on the sides of the bathtub, I put her knees over my shoulder, and dipped my tongue into her womanhood, licking her clit before actually diving in.

"So good, so good, Sasuke-kun..." she moaned. "You drive me fucking _insane_."

"It's a taste of your own medicine."

She immediately reached for my dick, her face half in the water.

"I want this to be inside me again. And I'm pretty sure you want it, too, Sasuke-kun."

I _did _want it. But I wasn't supposed to admit it.

"Let's sex it up a little bit," I said, taking her feet off my shoulders. She squealed, slipping and dunking her head in the water. Which made me laugh, because she was even more erotic wet than dry.

Heh.

That's what she said, by the way.

Next thing I knew, her hot, heated core was surrounding my pulsing cock.

.

.

.

I thrusted into her gently, touching her skin underneath the water. The bubbles were continuing to cover up half of our bodies, so it made it frustrating, but also added to the desire.

"Sakura..." I groaned as she tugged my hair. "You feel absolutely amazing..."

By now, we had spent forty minutes in the tub, our fingers and toes wrinkled like little raisins, but that didn't stop us.

"Your skin is so soft, Sasuke-kun," she muttered, kissing the corner of my lips. "What kind of lotion do you use?"

"Cucumber melon," I muttered, not interested in the scent of my skin. **(NOTE: IF ANYONE CAN FIND A ONESHOT IN WHICH SASUKE IS A BOSS AND SAKURA IS HIS EMPLOYEE, AND SHE ASKS HIM WHAT LOTION HE USES **_cucumber melon _**AND STUFF...AND SOMETHING ABOUT SOFT HANDS, SEND ME THE LINK AND I'LL WRITE SOMETHING FOR YOU. thanks!)**

"It smells nice."

"Hn."

I had no words to say, so I said them with my actions.

We did it in the bathtub. For another twenty minutes until the water got cold.

Then we emptied it,t filled it up with more hot water, and were ready for the next round.

.

**four days later.**

**.**

I saw Mom counting dollar bills in her hand, giggling as she flipped through each stack of yen. I raised an eyebrow, looking at her.

"What are you doing?"

She immediately frowned, her face reminding me of a kid who just got caught red-handed. And it was sort of the same thing, except that she's my mom.

"Nothing! Nothing, Sasuke-kun. Where's Sakura-chan?"

"I'm right hereee!" she sang, skipping in with her bags, and kissing her on the cheek like French women do. See, if guys do that, they're automatically gay. Not that I want to, I'm perfectly straight, thankyouverymuch.

So while they were having their little diddly-doo, I saw it.

Oh.

My.

_Fucking_...

No fucking way.

"What the hell, mom?" I yelled as I held the many parcels in the air. "What is this shit?"

Mikoto blushed heavily, snatching the packages away from me. "Nothing, Sasuke-kun, why don't you two go play..."

"We're nineteen, mom."

"Is that a sex tape?" Sakura asked, looking closely at the label. On it, it said:

**THE SEX TAPE OF UCHIHA SASUKE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WHOSE NAME I WILL NOT STATE FOR CERTAIN REASONS, SUCH AS FUTURE ATTEMPTED HOMICIDE, ROBBERY, ARSON, ETC. IT IS NOT LEAKED, BUT IS MERELY BEING SOLD AGAINST MY SON'S WILL. GUARENTEED, BETTER THAN SPEIDI'S TAPE, PAMELA ANDERSON'S, PARIS HILTON'S, EVA MENDES'S, AND KIM KARDASHIAN, OR YOUR MONEY BACK. **

On the bottom, there was fine print.

_Special includes: Lady Gaga...is a _man_? Full proof here_!

That's it. She has _crossed _the line.

"You sold our fucking _sex _tape? Dude, this was private! How'd you get in?"

"I taped you through the door crack. I mean, I _knew _this was going to happen...and you two were so loving..."

"I totally mind, mom. What the hell? Sakura, don't you agree..."

But she was too busy basking in a bathtub of money, swimming around in paper, getting paper cuts all over her beautiful body.

"I'll let you off this time," I muttered, looking at my mom doing a pouty face. "But next time, I'll kill you."

She smiled, kissed me on the cheek, and went to go sell more of the tapes, profiting so, so much.

The next thing we knew, we were being filmed making love in our money bath. I guess Sakura and I are both cut out to be porn stars. Who knew?

Mother, of course.

After all, mother knows best.

* * *

**blah blah blah the reason i didnt update an of my stories is bc i was back from a crusie in alaska and then shcool just started and then y life got out of control and BLAHHHHHHHHH.**

**review now, or else i wont update ever ever again =D haha, wuvvvv uu guysss!**


	27. Better Left Unsaid

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-seven. third person.  
******FML o27: Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Sasuke's an Uchiha. Uchihas don't talk. So he sealed the vow of silence after he asked his neighbor if she was alright when she was crying. She punched him in the face. Now he needs a nose job. FML.

* * *

**.o26.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**B**_e_t**t**_e_r **L**_e_f**t **_U_n**s**_a_i**d**

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

It was simple.

Ever since history knows when, the Uchihas have never talked much. Ever. They weren't much for words.

So a person was lucky if they even lived to hear them speak _one sentence _and not "Hn. Hn? Hn!" all the time. Mikoto, the only Uchiha in the generation that was married into the family, was completely opposite of her family members. She was preppy, cheery, and sunshine-bright.

Sunshine Bear.

Unlike the men in their family with sticks up their ass.

Boo-Boo Bear.

Anyway, Mikoto was uspet with the state of her family, even after movie nights, weekly dinners out, or bowling in the bowling alley. They still remained the same, if not worse.

So she turned to her neighbor's daughter, Sakura, for guidance.

"Sasuke-kunnn! Sakura-chan's here to play with you! Don't be shy, boys, come up and say hello!"

Sasuke and Itachi looked at her briefly, muttered a "Hn," and went back to their video games or books. Mikoto sighed, patting Sakura on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry. They're usually like this, there's nothing I can really do about it. It's been this way for eleven years," Mikoto said, eyeing her eleven year old son and her fifteen year old son.

"It's okay," she said cheerily. How annoying it was, seeing that nothing made her down. She kept smiling no matter what.

He would wipe that smile off her face.

"Would you like something to eat?" Mikoto would say, leading Sakura to the kitchen. "I'll cook something delicious for you."

Sasuke eyed her from the back, walking towards the kitchen with his mother. He scowled at her pink hair. It was too bright.

She was a walking eyesore.

.

**five years later.**

.

He think it started when he actually (_actually_) asked her if she was okay, during school, when he saw her crying. Alone. Her tears flowing down her face.

So, even with the cold stone heart he had, he actually got the courage to walk up to her.

"Hey, uhm, Sakura...are you okay?"

She responded by punching him in the face.

That's the last time he ever helps anyone.

.

**five years ago.**

.

"What do you think of her, Sasuke?" Itachi asked as he once again beat Sasuke in Halo.

Sasuke sighed, putting down his controller and taking a tomato from the table, chewing slowly while thinking.

"She's annoying."

He heard Itachi chuckle, and raised an eyebrow in the cute, I'm eleven years old way.

"I think she's cute, neh?"

Sasuke almost choked, looking at Itachi like he was crazy.

"Aniki, she's...she's _younger _than you! She's my age! You're hitting on her?"

Itachi held up a hand. "Whoa, now, I didn't say I was hitting on her. I just said she was cute, that's all."

Sakura was eating in the kitchen, quietly, with Mikoto, as her super-sensory ears heard the whole conversation. She smirked.

"Well, if Sasuke-kun isn't interested, she could always go for Itachi..."

"She's too young for me," Itachi moaned, but I knew that he was wriggling his eyebrows, while Sakura continued to eat quietly.

"This is coming from the guy who dated twenty-four girls in sixth grade," Sasuke said, sneering. **(TRUE STORY FROM , MY BFFFFFFF)**

"Shut up, Sasuke. You know how many girls are chasing after you. Don't be jealous just because I actually have hormones."

Sasuke growled, and Mikoto tried to stop the fight.

"Now, boys, calm down. Why don't you go in and eat with Sakura-chan? Sasuke-kun, I've cooked your favorite; tomatoes and sashimi. And Itachi-kun, yours, beef, with a side helping of green veggies, because every growing boy needs his vitamin D to keep his skin looking nice and healthy!"

"Thanks, mom," Itachi groaned, not sure whether or not vitamin D helped keep skin healthy. Sasuke sat the furthest away from Sakura, while Itachi slid into the chair next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"So, _Sak_," Itachi began, taking a piece of vegetable and chewing on it while talking. "What's been going on?"

She inched away from him, nervously blushing while thinking, "What the hell is this guy doing?"

Apparently, he was trying to act out the role of Prince of Seduction, and choked on the green leaves, coughing. Mikoto pounded his back over and over again, but he continued to choke until Sasuke started freaking out.

"Kaa-san…should I call 911? What should we do?" he said, trying not to let Sakura hear the panic in his voice.

Sakura quickly pushed her plate away, food falling onto the floor. She went up behind him (which was actually a funny sight to see, with a young four foot eight girl hugging a five foot nine boy behind his waist). She began heaving, her hands meeting each other, watching him make _HM! HMPH! _sounds. The way it looked, it seemed like she was humping him. From behind.

Sodomyyy.

The food landed in front of Sasuke's face, and he wiped it off in disgust, staring at the green leaves. Itachi began breathing heavily, and clutched onto Sakura's shoulder for support. She nearly fell from the unbalance between them, and he held her shoulders.

"You saved my life."

"That's…good."

"Marry me."

Sakura punched him in the nose, and ran away, grabbing her stuff and going home, screaming all the way, saying, "I'M TOO YOUNG TO LOSE MY INNOCENCEEE!"

Sasuke stared at her retreating figure. How annoying. But honestly, he did have to kill her someday for saving Itachi's life, so that he could've been number one in everything, without really trying.

Meanwhile, Itachi stared up at Mikoto, who was crying from nervousness. He pointed a shaking finger at her, and growled, "No more vegetables. Ever. I'm sticking to lotions from Elizabeth Arden and having a facial every other week."

Sasuke hated his family. Right now, he wished that he could've been the one who had been choking on vitamin D.

FML.

.

.

.

"Sasuke-kun, take this cake to Sakura-chan's family. Here's her address; do you know where to go?" Mikoto said as she handed Sasuke a huge-ass cake meant for a wedding. Or a feast. Or something like that.

He looked from the side and saw that it was covered in pink frosting, with the little bakery roses. He raised an eyebrow.

"What's this for?" he asked his mother, who threw away the strawberry mix box. From Betty Crocker. Of course.

"For Sakura-chan, seeing how she saved Itachi-kun's life. Also as an apology, for his queer comment the other day."

"Mom, do you even know what queer means?"

"Yeah, strange."

Sasuke shrugged. Let her think what she wants to think. He took the cake, careful not to trip on something and have his face buried in sweets. Something he hated.

"Why can't Itachi do this? It's his fault."

She sighed, placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Whispering, she said, "He's too embarrassed to come out, because he thinks he made a bad impression. She probably hates him, that's what he thinks, but I bet she was just scared."

"Hn."

"Really, Sasuke, you have the ability to talk and all you say is _hn_? Think of all those mutes out there, really. If only you could be like Sakura-chan."

"Hn."

.

.

.

"Here," he said, shoving the cake into her hands when she rang the doorbell. "My mom told me to give this to you, and the card," he said, grabbing the card she had given him out of his pocket.

"Oh. Thanks," Sakura said, remembering the past incident a week ago. She shivered when she thought of Itachi. She vowed never to marry again after that comment.

"So, uhm, bye."

"Wait—" she called, holding him by the collar. "Can you stay for a bit?"

Sasuke sighed. He didn't want to do this, but he felt that he had to anyway. His mother would've probably sent him back just to give him something else, so he stayed behind, sitting at the coffee table that she had in the living room.

She brought him a soda, a Coke, and herself a Fanta. He raised an eyebrow, and she blushed. "Sorry, do you want a different drink?"

"No…it's just…how did you know I only drink Coke?"

"Because that's the only one that's not sweet."

"How do you know that I hate sweets?"

Sakura thought for a moment. "It was the way you acted when you gave me the cake. And also, I knew from the way you acted. You were the typical bad-boy I thought of when I first saw you, like in the movies. And then a goody-two-shoes like me falls in love with you, but listen here, Sasuke, I'm _never _going to fall in love with you. Ever. Mark my words."

"Hn. I know, and I don't give, personally."

"Give what?" she asked, opening her Fanta.

He rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

She began drinking, chugging down the orange soda as her head tilted back. Sighing in relief, she capped the bottle and said, "You know? I think another reason you hate sweets is because of my hair. People tell me it looks like bubblegum. Or cotton candy. Either way, I bet it's annoying to you, seeing how you…" she eyed his clothing. "How you're dressed very…darkly."

"Hn."

"Opposites attract. I'm bright, you're not. I'm preppy, you're emo. I'm a chick, and you're a dude. But this doesn't necessarily mean that we'll fall in love."

"I never said that. You didn't have to say it a second time."

"Just wanted to make sure. After all, I'm pretty sure you'd pick up that razor blade once you get home, just so you can stop thinking about me and my fabulous hair."

He wanted to slap himself.

Instead, he face-palmed on the coffee table.

Poor Sasu-cakes.

.

**five years later.**

.

Sasuke was walking with his earbuds in his ears, listening to Slipknot blasting through, killing his eardrums with every word.

He saw Sakura, still in her school uniform, sitting under the Japanese Maple that was even older than the principal, Sarutobi, himself.

He saw that she was _crying_.

Usually, if it were another person, he would walk right past and ignore them completely, listening to the words of _I was a creature before I could stand! _in the song, Before I Forget.

But, because he decided to soften up (that very moment) because of the history between them, he walked over, putting his earbuds back in his pockets. Looming over her, he saw that she lifted her head up, the tears streaked down her face, mascara ruined.

"Uhm, hey."

"What do you want?" she asked, frowning at him.

"Uh…are you, er, okay?"

He confirmed that she was definitely okay, judging by the way she was "okay" enough to punch him straight in the nose. He felt something crack, and warm blood dripped down his mouth.

"I think you need a nose job."

Way to break it to him. He decided that he would live in vengeance forever, transferring his hatred from Itachi to Sakura in a nutshell. In a blink of an eye.

His perfect nose was ruined.

His face was no longer perfect.

Good-bye, Adonis.

.

.

.

She actually had the nerve to take him to the hospital, and when he saw himself in a mirror, Itachi was next to him, laughing. His nose was in a bandage, and Mikoto went and signed it like a freakin' _cast _("I think it's cute on you, Sasuke-kun!"), which led Itachi to make fun of him even more than he should've.

"This is all your fault," Sasuke breathed to her, ready to kill her, his eyes turning red.

She looked away nervously, shaking. Heh. She deserved to be scared. The little _bitch_.

Sakura twiddled with her fingers, looking at Sasuke nervously. Biting her lip, she tried to mumble out, "I...I..."

Mikoto took the hint and steered Itachi out of the room, while Fugaku fell asleep on the chair, his arms folded. Sakura pulled up one of the chairs next to his bed and put her hand on top of his, until he removed it.

Sighing, she said, "I'm sorry."

"Hn. You should be," he muttered, turning away from her. She grabbed his chin and made him look back at her, staring intently into his eyes.

Sasuke never noticed how green they were.

"It's...it's a long story."

"I never said I wanted to hear it," Sasuke sighed. He wanted to sleep. The drugs were making him woozy.

"I'll tell you anyway, whether you like it or not." She twiddled with the ends of her elbow-length hair, and he watched the pink swirls fall down her breasts (so petite, he could cup them gently), and the curve of her hips when she stood up and walked.

"Hn."

She bowed her head, and he no longer could see her eyes. He wished for her to raise her head, so that he could drown; at least, if he died, he would die a good death knowing that he saw a piece of heaven that wasn't naked.

"Sasori broke up with me," she sobbed, trying not to let her voice crack. Sasuke's eyes widened, and he turned to Sakura, whose head was still bowed.

"He...he left me because I wouldn't sleep with him," Sakura continued. Her voice was getting higher and higher, and he didn't want to see her eyes turn red from the tears. "I'm not ready, yet, but he didn't understand."

"Oh."

She took his hand in hers, and he didn't let go. "I'm sorry I punched you, Sasuke, but you have to understand. I really liked him a lot, I really did!"

He understood. Everyone knew that she and Sasori was the school's biggest gossip since they had started dating. Goody-two shoes and typical bad-boy. Something she described them a while back, five years ago.

Sasuke knew that Sasori wasn't serious about the relationship, that she was just a thing, but she was happy nonetheless, and he didn't want to ruin her happiness because of his own jealousy.

Jealousy? Maybe just protectiveness, but something definitely sparked.

After all, if he knew someone, he had to have _some _feelings for them. Even if it was hate. Which, sort of, it wasn't, because he didn't hate her. But he didn't necessarily _not love _her, either.

He had to forgive her. But first, he had to forgive himself.

"It's okay," he said as she began sobbing on his hand. He felt her tears drip one by one on his skin, and he stared at her pink locks in front of her face.

"S-Sasuke-kun…" she sobbed, not bothering to look up.

He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, which she did, against her own will. He saw her eyes swell red from the crying and wiped them off with the back of his hand.

"Don't cry."

She sniffed, trying to wipe away the liquid with her own sleeve, laughing nervously.

"I must look pathetic, hm?" she said as she took his hand in hers again.

"You're not," Sasuke said, without thinking. "You're not pathetic."

Sakura laughed; this time it was a real one. "You're such a liar, Sasuke. You totally know that I'm annoying, and weak, and pathetic. You even said so yourself."

Sasuke wanted to slap himself. She was absolutely _stupid_. "I may have said that. I might have meant it sometimes, but you know that I don't talk. It's hard for me to talk. I'm talking too much right now, too. But I understand what you're feeling. There's this girl I really like. She doesn't know that I like her. But I do. A lot. It's just that…she's been dating another guy, and she looked really happy with him."

"You said looked. What does that mean?"

"They broke up. She still won't notice me, though."

Sakura frowned, playing with Sasuke's fingers. "That's so sad. She must be one lucky girl for someone like you to like her. The girl must be stupid not to notice."

Sasuke smirked at this, but hid it by biting his lip.

"Yeah. She's stupid, sometimes."

Sakura smiled, putting down his fingers on the bed railing. She leaned over, and pressed her lips against his casted nose.

"I think it's cute."

"Hn."

She pulled a sharpie from the dresser, uncapped it, and slowly signed her name, **SAKURA**, on the bridge of his nose in between his eyes. He smelled sharpie. It smelled horrible.

"There."

"Uh, thanks?"

She poked him in the nose, gently, before getting up to leave. He wanted to stop her, and tell her that he wanted a few more minutes with her, but she had places to be and people to see.

"Bye, Sasuke-kun."

"Bye."

And then it hit him.

She called him _Sasuke-kun_.

He was a very lucky boy indeed.

.

.

.

His nose was fine when he came back to school a week later. He still kept the cast in his bedroom, tracing over the girly handwriting on the bridge.

She honestly was a stupid girl. But that made her even more attractive.

"Sasuke. Your nose…"

"Yeah."

She stared at him nervously, waiting for him to leave her and go to his next class. Instead, he grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear.

"Let's ditch. I want to show you something."

The goody-two-shoes followed reluctantly, leaving her _Catcher in the Rye _book in her locker, along with her other things. He led her to his car, and they drove to a seemingly familiar place that she knew all too well.

His house.

.

.

.

"Are you still upset about Sasori?" Sasuke asked, sitting on the edge of his bed while Sakura sat on top of his study desk, kicking her feet against the air.

"Sort of. I mean, I should've known better than to trust him."

She began eyeing his room, and then spotted the cast on the dresser. Jumping down from the desk, she put it in her hands and played with it.

"Oh, look, my name's still here."

"Yeah."

"You didn't throw it out?"

"No."

She put the cast back and sat next to Sasuke, shoulder to shoulder. She smiled at him.

"You know, I thought I loved Sasori. I was willing to sleep with him. But now I know that I'm stupid and that …well, I would do anything for him. I thought he was my prince. I just can't help forgetting him. Part of me is still attracted to him."

She put her hand on Sasuke's cheek.

"Sasuke, can I ask you a huge favor?"

He hoped that she couldn't feel the warm blush under her skin, so he nodded.

"I won't ask Sasori to sleep with me. But here, right now, I want to do it. With you."

"Sakura…"

"I just want to ask you to let me close my eyes and pretend that you're him. That you're my prince with red hair and green eyes."

He took her hand off and held it in his own.

"Sakura, I'm not going to do that."

He saw the tears welling up in her eyes, and how she tried to stop them.

"If you want it, I will do it, but I don't want you to think of Sasori while I'm making love to you."

"W-What?"

He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, gently, before making her lie down on the bed.

"I want you to think of me."

* * *

**yaeh, so this wanst a funny chatper. sue me. LOL.**

**anyway, i didnt get as many revies as i wanted for the last chapter =( so im gonna do the desperate thing. 18 reviews or more for an update, and you're free to IM me or review with your FMLs that you want to see potsed! **

**btw, i love all sakura pairings, eeven if i bash some. i just hate sakuino. so, yeah. i actually do love sasosaku. x3**

**sorry for the late update. ilyall! the next chapter will come as soon as i see an FML i like so keep on reviewing with them!**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	28. Sunday Night Football

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-eight. sakura's pov.  
******FML o28: Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when i asked him what he thought about "that lame performance last night." He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **My husband's not talking to me. I think it was because I mentioned the phrase "the lame performance last night." He thought it was about the bed. I told him that I meant football. He thinks I'm lying and won't touch me now. I'm ready to go to my last resort. Naruto. FML.

**p.s. **to babablacksheep; i like putting sakura with other guys because it makes sasuke jealous. i support all sakura pairings, but i hate it when sasuke is with another girl besides sakura, so i don't have him hit on anyone just because it makes xena sad. =(  
sorry if that annoys you xD

* * *

**.o27.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**S**_u_n**d**_a_y **N**_i_g**h**_t _F**o**_o_t**b**_a_l**l**

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

**dedicated to lalalandqueen for the prompt. it was epik.**

.

Ugh.

It's Sunday.

Do you know what that means? Do you? No, you don't, because your husband isn't beautiful and hot and sexy like mine. You _don't get it_.

He has interrupted our time (_our _precious time together, doing…the dirty upstairs) to watch football.

Every Sunday.

And it's not just that. He's obsessed with football. Besides me, football is his _life_. In high school, he was the star quarterback and I was the nerdy girl in the bleachers that always cheered him on. And then after he won (obviously, I mean, look at those muscles. Ugh.), he would run into the crowd and pick me up and kiss me in front of everyone.

It's kind of like that Taylor Swift song. YOU BELONG WITH MEEEEEE.

Anyway.

He's so romantic. And not to say that he isn't right now, he is. He's amazing in bed.

But ever since we graduated from college, and he stopped being on a football team, it's his ritual to watch football every Sunday night.

And even worse—he watches reruns on ESPN. Of the last games. Every day. Fortunately, they're not on for more than an hour (which is still an hour that could have been used well with a condom), but on Sundays…

Ugh. I don't even want to think about it.

This is _torture_.

So right now, I'm sitting here typing this thing up on my laptop while he's sitting on his chair (made especially for him, custom), holding the remote and turning the volume to maximum strength, while punching the air and shouting, "YEAH!" or throwing the remote at the TV and cursing, saying, "You could've made that! You could've made that touchdown, you son of a bitch! What are you, you little pussy?"

_Ding-dong_.

Sasuke went to get the door at the commercial break. A commercial for Bud Light beer or something, with a Hooters chick in a skimpy shirt holding it while she's bending over, and her shorts aren't doing a very good job of hiding her ass.

I swear, if Sasuke watches this crap just for that bitch, I'm going to punch him in the face.

His beautiful, beautiful, face.

Wait.

I think I'm forgetting something.

.

.

.

HOLYCRAPOMFGIFORGOTTHATIT'SABEERPARTYANDEVERYTHING.

I have to get ready.

I have to prepare the food and the decorations.

It's Sunday night.

Sasuke and the guys come over to our house every Sunday to watch the game together. So Naruto (I have to clean up after him. It's horrifying), Sai, Shikamaru, Neji, Gaara, Lee, Kiba, and all the other guys that he's sort of on friend-terms with.

They come in, bring their six-packs and sit around the TV, wanting to fight over the remote. I'm cooking ramen for Naruto (because he literally cried when he found out that his best friend's girl didn't carry ramen in the house), youthful broccoli for Lee (with the stems on, Sakura-chan!), dog food for Kiba (ruff, ruff!), and other miscellaneous crap that was our leftovers from last week.

It's honestly really gross. Half of the stuff is moldy, but they don't seem to notice because they're too busy watching football.

What's so great about hot, sweaty guys tackling each other?

…

Unless…

It can't be.

I mean, sometimes I watch football because the guys are hot (though I can't tell them apart when they're wearing their helmets), but the guys watching it…

Is it because…they're _gay_?

I mean, Sasuke's married to me, and Naruto's married to Hinata, and Shikamaru has Temari while Sai's…uhh, single, and Gaara's confused. And stuff.

But, but...when I go sleep and they're still watching the reruns and disabling the Vchip so that they can watch the PlayBoy channel, are they...are they trying those moves down there, turning up the moaning on the TV extra loud so that _I _don't hear their groans?

ARE THEY TACKLING EACH OTHER WITHOUT ME WATCHING? I LOVE YAOI PORN, DAMNIT.

Especially if they involve my husband with another man like George Clooney, or something. Or Itachi. Or Sai. But that's only in my fantasies, I don't like it when he's _actually _doing it with my best friend's husband! Hinata would be devastated.

I'd watch for a little bit, then cry. It's a shame guy on guy is so hot. Ugh.

Seriously, if they're actually performing sodomy down there, using condoms that _I _bought (they better not be using the glow-in-the-dark ones!) I don't know if I'm gonna cry or drool.

Probably both.

.

.

.

I decided to take full control. So after I handed all the food out, I sat down in between Sasuke and Naruto, putting my arms around their shoulders.

"Hey, boys," I said, trying to hug them tighter to me. Come on, Sakura, don't give yourself away...

"Uh, hi, Sakura-chan."

"Sakura, what are you doing?" Sasuke asked after he pressed his lips to my cheek.

"I've decided I'm going to watch with you guys. Just try to get into football more, so that I can converse with you guys intelligently without you saying What? like This? with a question mark? at the end of every sentence?"

Naruto frowned. "You got that from Family Guy."

"Shut up." He wasn't supposed to know that. Family Guy was my guilty pleasure. But so, so stupid at the same time. It was so funny it's stupid. Honestly, I don't care what people say about Family Guy being bad. I love it anyway.

Sasuke poked my mouth with his chopsticks, and I opened it, ready to ask what the hell he was doing. Instead, he shoved noodles down my throat and it dripped on the carpet.

"Sasuke-kun!" I groaned, ready to have to clean up the carpet. He and the guys laughed.

"You're so cute," he teased, tickling my chin. I frowned, chewing the rest of the noodles and wiping my chin on my sleeve.

"Fuck you."

"Love you, too."

.

.

.

I'm not going to lie. I've been watching for three and a half hours and I'm ready to rip my hair out.

Sure, some guys were hot, and their guns were…ugh, honestly, better than Sasuke. They probably took steroids though, because their balls were, like, invisible. They didn't even need a cup or anything.

So that was sort of the downside. But anyway, when Sasuke's on top, I can just imagine the football players on top, but his dick on the bottom.

That's _sooo _hot. It'd be even hotter if me, Sasuke, and a football player had a threeway. Or a four. Or maybe five. I'm feeling imaginative today.

But to summarize the game, it sucked. It was major suckage. They were beat 11 to 0. Crushed. Pwnage from the Sand.

Everyone had gone insane.

Anyway, after the guys all left, Naruto and Sai kissing me on the cheek before leaving, I started to clean everything up until Sasuke held my wrist.

"No."

"Hm?" I asked, looking up at him.

He tugged at my wrist, causing me to squeak, and held me close to him. I could feel his throbbing heat on my stomach and blushed, trying to look away from him.

"Sakura…" he whispered huskily. It made me want to melt. And I almost did.

He pulled me in tight and kissed me. I could feel that it was rushed and impatient, as if he couldn't wait for me any longer. I kissed him back.

He put one hand up my shirt and one hand down my shorts, squeezing my ass before putting a finger up in me. His hand unclasped my bra.

"Thank you for watching football with me and my friends. I know you'd rather be reading, but you're sweet to do that, anyway. This is why I love you, damnit," he said, before kissing me again.

Honestly, I only watched football with them to make sure they weren't having a five-way, but if this is the outcome of every Sunday, then hell, I'm gonna be watching a whole lot more. His sweet-talking is like honey. You have to wait for it if you want the sweetness.

I put my hands over his heat and he groaned, grabbing me under my knees and putting my arms around his neck before he carried us up

to the bedroom, my head tucked against his chest while he kissed my head.

"I've been waiting the whole day. Four hours without you, while you're in that skimpy outfit walking around when your shorts are inching up and showing your ass...Sakura, you make me crazy. You drive any man crazy. Did you see how the guys were eyeing you? Half of them are married but they lust after you anyway. I don't blame them."

I laughed, embarrassed at this comment. "And what about _my _friends? You think they don't think about you? Everyone loves you, Sasuke. No one can resist you. You were so popular in high school, you star quarterback."

By then, we were on the bed, and he was on top of me, my hands being clasped by Sasuke. He loomed over me, and I felt his hot breath on my neck.

"Sakura…I can't wait."

"I…can't either."

He kissed me, first gently, and then he began becoming harsher and more needing, as if my kisses were the only thing keeping him alive.

I felt him take of his shirt, throwing it on the side of the bed, onto the floor. My loosened bra was slipped off my shoulders, under my shirt, and my unzipped shorts were on the ground. I was braless and pantsless in front of a Greek god. I realized that it was just like the time we had on the football field, after they had won their champs and we made love under the stars for the first time, me, Haruno Sakura, the nerdy girl with thick-rimmed glasses.

Sasuke wore glasses, too. But for football, he wore contacts instead.

Soon, his hands were up my shirt, feeling my breasts under the cotton. His finers were cold, and it immediately made my nipples turn hard and perk up. He took his hands out and stared at my two buds from the outside.

"My hands are cold, huh?"

I nodded, wanting his touch again on my skin.

Slowly he slid my own shirt up, and I arched my back, waiting for my skin to meet cold hair. I could already feel my goose bumps.

"So beautiful, love, so beautiful…" he whispered, before taking a breast into his mouth. I put my hands in his hair and massaged his scalp, while he rubbed my other breast with his hand. His tongue flicked over my nipple, and pretty soon it was turning as hard as a diamond. He sucked until he was sure that I was hard, and then moved on to the other nipple. I put my thumbs in the elastic of his jeans.

"I'll do it," he mumbled, fumbling with the zipper. Soon, he kicked them off, and I cupped his dick into my hands, feeling the tip of him poke through gently.

"You know I'm ready for you," he murmured. "Can you see how hot you make me?"

I was almost dying with pleasure. He was just so seductive, and I was so wet even though he hadn't done anything but touch me. And not even finger me, just…_touch _me. On my skin.

I haven't acted crazier than I have now. Not now, not ever.

He slipped my panties until they were at my knees and I managed to slide them to the ground. They were soiled, and I'd have to wash them afterwards. But then didn't matter. What mattered was now, just us two, seventeen year olds under the stars on a Friday night.

He put his fingers to my womanhood and I jumped. HE laughed, and I pushed him on his chest playfully.

"You jerk!"

"I know."

He slid a finger in, and I felt my walls clench around them. I wasn't ready yet. He should've given me some warning.

"Just relax, Sakura." he said, putting in another finger. "You can handle this."

Soon he had four fingers in, and I was pretty sure I would burst. He had big hands, far bigger than a normal man's hands, and he was killing me with pleasure.

"Sakura. You're so sweet," he said, taking his fingers out and licking them in front of me.

He was _teasing _me. I couldn't take this anymore.

So I took his wrist and put my mouth around his hand, tasting my own juices. I wanted to make him horny. I couldn't always be on my back watching the show. His eyes widened, and soon I felt his cock rise up even higher, but I knew that I was doing my job right.

Soon, I brought his head down to meet with mine, and we kissed ,tongue and tongue, teeth and teeth. it was all lip-bruising actions, and it was far more erotic than he thought it would be.

"Sasuke, go now," I muttered, spreading my legs for him. "I want you to go in, as hard as you can."

He smirked, and I felt his tip penetrate me softly. I moaned. I knew that he was teasing me. He wanted to see me mad. I know it. It's happened before.

It was almost forever. I felt each centimeter of him enter me tauntingly each second. It seemed like a minute. Or an hour.

He was making me impatient.

Two can play at that game.

So I began teasing him.

Touching him, licking. I closed my legs and put my mouth around his shaft, sucking the cum that dripped out slowly, drip by drip.

Who's getting mad now, huh?

A taste of your own medicine.

"You've been a naughty girl," he said, trying his best not to show weakness. The groan came anyway.

"I know."

Soon, I was under him, and his face was an inch away from mine. He licked his bruised lips and smirked.

"I guess I'll have to correct your ways."

He went in.

.

**eight a.m, monday.  
**

.

Oh.

My.

_…Orgasm._

That was the most mind-blowing sex I have _ever _had. With him. Honestly, if Sunday night football's sex is like this, I'm going to start watching football every day now. It was amazing, and totally beyond belief. I orgasmed at least ten times that night in four rounds, and I'm pretty sure he was feeling good too. I teased him well enough.

"Good morning, love," Sasuke whispered, his voice hoarse from the screaming and groaning and moaning last night. He had this husky night voice and this sexy, suave morning voice…it made a woman die either way.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun. Last night was unbelievable. I didn't know that you were capable of that."

"Hm?"

"You know." I wiggled my eyes, in hopes that he would get the message and he would begin the morning off with a healthy start.

"Sex? Of course, Sakura. What do you think? I'm a pleasure machine, all for you."

He lied back on his pillow and put his arm around my waist, squeezing my ass in the process. I squeaked, and he laughed, pulling me closer.

Sasuke didn't get what I meant, but it's okay. I know he had a lot on his mind.

"Yeah. But yesterday night was a pretty lame performance back there, you know?" I thought aloud, thinking back how Konoha was crushed by the Sand.

Silence.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He stared at me with these eyes. The kind of famous Uchiha death glare that makes you want to shrivel up and die. He only saved those for Karin. And some other whores.

"Sakura…are you referring to…?"

"The game? Yeah, of course," I said, wondering why he was so upset. Geesh, I knew he loved football, but not this much…

"No. You meant last night. The sex. It was unbelievable for you. And I thought I was pleasuring you enough, but apparently I was wrong. So what did I do? Which part of it was a turn off? Was it the roleplaying? Or the smell of sweat? What was it? Tell me, so I can fix it."

...

...

_Ohh._

Wait. I didn't mean it like _that_.

Ugh.

I'm giving my body to Sasuke, right now, scooting closer to him, but his hands are away from my skin.

He's not touching me.

And I'm horny right now.

So when in doubt, when your beautiful amazing absolutely hunkalicious husband won't touch you when you're hot, wet, and naked, means that you should go to his best friend, even if his best friend is married to YOUR best friend.

I was about ready to go to Naruto, the last person I'd ever go to.

Ever.

But now I was desperate. I wanted someone to touch me, or I'd touch myself.

FML.

.

.

.

I groaned. "No, you idiot! I really did mean the game! Yesterday Konoha was _crushed_. You saw it!"

Sasuke frowned. "It wasn't Konoha that was crushed. It was the Sand. We were the eleven."

I opened my mouth, shocked. I was sooooo misunderstood. But he continued his rant anyway.

"Tell me what I did wrong. Was I too rough? You were wet, so I assumed that…" he said, thinking of all the ways he had done me wrong. I shut his mouth up, but he continued anyway.

"It's nothing like that, Sasuke-kun."

He didn't believe me and was freaking out by the second, losing his cool. He never lost his cool, ever.

Not even when he had to make the final touchdown for the winning game.

"You've done nothing wrong," I said, trying to finally clear up his confusion. "I mean the game. I was misunderstood, Sasuke. Yesterday night's sex was absolutely mind-blowing, and I want to do it with you again. Over and over, every night."

His panting steadied to slow breathing, and he looked at me, his hand on my breast.

"I feel your heart beat," he said out of the blue. I pressed his finger to my chest even harder and made sure he felt how crazy I was about him.

"I know."

Sasuke took his hand off and put my cheek in his hand. Cupping it, he said, "Tell me what you liked about last night that made it different than others?"

I thought hard. I thought about everything that he did that made me want to melt.

"I liked the way you touched me last night. The way you held me and caressed me in your hands. The way you kissed me and went into me the way you did, as if you were sort of shy, but impatient at the same time. That's what I like about it. That's what I like about you."

He stared at me before taking my mouth again, wrapping my legs around his waist. I crossed my ankles together and he held me by my waist.

"Can we try it again?" he asked.

I looked at him, his eyes waiting for my answer.

I still hadn't forgiven him for teasing me.

"Well, I would, but I was ready to watch a rerun of last night's football game this morning…"

By the time he could open his mouth to speak, I jumped out of the bed, naked, laughing at him as he chased me around the house.

I turned on the TV.

And Sasuke was wrong.

Konoha, indeed, was crushed by the Sand.

FML.

* * *

**like the prompt, hate this chapter.**

**it was too rushed,but i tried to keep it around the 3000-4000 word length.**

**rawr.**

**fmlfmlfml.**

**-ohh, &&xena  
**


	29. Sweet Tooth

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble twenty-eight. sakura's pov.  
******FML o29: Today I was eating m&ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering "where is that little bastard?" FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **I used to like sweets, despite what everyone thinks. But when I dropped an M&M and it fell into my crotch, my Mom and girlfriend had to come in at the moment where I was trying to find it with my hand and heard me saying, "Where is that little bastard?" I'm never eating sweets. Again. FML.

* * *

**.o28.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**S**_w_e**e**_t _T**o**_o_t**h **

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

My girlfriend _loves _sweets. Her name is Sakura, and she's obviously named for one of the prettiest trees in the world, a cherry blossom.

They smell nice, and are pretty, like she is. She's obsessed with the color pink, (hey, luckily her hair is), and loves sweets. Candies and anything yummy of all kind.

Yet, for some reason, she's not fat. Not an ounce of fat on her. No, she's the perfect Victoria's Secret model. I like it when she catwalks for me, the way her hips sway.

It's really sexy.

But anyway, she thinks that I'm "emo," partially because my favorite color is black or blue, and partially because I don't talk. So I'm also "anti-social."

I used to wear these really thick-rimmed glasses, but now I wear contacts because she kept stealing them from me and trying them on. She looks really cute in them, but I'd never tell her, because then she'd tell me to keep wearing them.

Sometimes, I do.

But otherwise it's a pretty big hassle.

Yeah.

But the worst part of it is the assumptions she and everyone else makes. She thinks that I went out with her because I just didn't want to show my "gay" sexuality. She supports yaoi and "coming out of the closet," so she was sort of sad that I didn't hook up with Naruto and have a guy orgy in front of her.

Me and Naruto? That's the worst yaoi pairing ever. We're brothers, not lovers.

Ugh.

I asked her out first, though. There's no doubt about that. I did it because I liked her, a lot. And I knew that she liked me form the way she stalked me in elementary and part of middle school. Then it just faded into a crush, but still, "Let's be friends even though I like you."

I like her too. I like her a lot.

I really _really _like her.

Even though she and everyone else makes these assumptions, I love her nonetheless for who she is and who she wants to be.

That's something I admire about her.

Sakura is an amazing girl.

But one of the worst parts is that she eats sweets in front of me, all the time. Ice cream, candy, popsicles, lollipops…_bananas_.

The last three are the worst. The way she sticks them up, down her throat, and then thrusts it back out, her saliva connecting them together…

It's torture.

Plain _torture_.

She sees me looking at her with those mad eyes and she knows she's done her job well, so that makes me double pissed.

Then, she takes me to her room (or mine), or a cheap motel and she blows me there, swallowing me whole. It feels so, so good, and later we make love on the bed, or on the floor.

The way she moves against me feels so good, and when she's giving me a lap dance…

That girl is unbelievable.

I used to eat sweets with her, and other yummy treats. Honestly, I used to be a candy-person myself.

Until the moment Hershey ruined it. Stupid peanut M&Ms, those little buggers.

And after that I swore I would never eat sweets. Ever. Again.

Unless those sweets are Sakura, then yeah.

.

.

.

I think it started when I brought Sakura over for dinner, and she and Mom were in the kitchen, sharing recipes and other sorts of crap that women do in their free time.

Talking about boys and bands and sex…

Yeah, no.

So I was leading Sakura up to my room, hoping that no one would catch us (because then we could get our clothes off as soon as we got in), and that we could just have a great time and everything.

But Uchiha Mikoto was faster than me.

She came and squealed and squeezed Sakura's guts out, until she was blue, and took her hand away from mine to hold it in hers and squeal like the little yaoi fangirl she is.

"Hi, Mikoto," Sakura said. She had become accustomed to calling her by her first name instead of "Uchiha-san," but I thought it was good training for the future.

"Mom, we're going upstairs," I said, nearly growling. I was pissed, and I could feel my dick harden with each passing second.

Mikoto frowned. "Oh stop it, you horny boy. You're just like your father when he was your age. We couldn't _wait _to go upstairs. So you shut up and keep your penis in your pants."

Everyone was silent, and I could see that Sakura was turning redder and redder with each passing moment. Ugh.

This was _horrible_.

Whenever I was mad, or sad, or just feeling in the mood, I ate chocolate. And right now, I could see that I had no chance of getting my girlfriend back at the moment.

So I went upstairs, took a cold shower, and took out some M&Ms. You know, those little small ones that come in the tiny bottles.

My life sucked. I can't keep my mom's hands off my girlfriend, my dick still isn't going down, and I dropped a whole pack of M&Ms on the floor.

So I picked them all up and ate them. Five second rule.

I made it in four.

.

.

.

I'm sitting in my chair that I carved at Woodshop class at school (which, by the way, was the time Naruto cut off that blonde bitch's hair. It was probably one of the happiest moments of my life), and eating M&Ms, my jeans on the floor. I was in my tomato boxers, feeling the soft, shiny wood under my arm and eating chocolate, staining my teeth brown.

But I still haven't gotten a cavity yet. My teeth are flawless, and shinier than Rock Lee's, damnit.

I would totally beat him in an audition for a Crest commercial.

That's how white they are.

I think, one time, in that Fairly Odd Parents show or something, that one gay guy sings a song about his teeth and how they're shiny and how he keeps brushing them.

I totally have shinier teeth than he does. My smirk will prove it to you.

Not my smile.

My smirk.

Because I don't smile for anyone unless they're Sakura.

Which, 99.9 percent of the time, they're not.

Anyway.

I can hear the giggles of my mother and girlfriend from downstairs, and I'm sighing, staring over at my bed where we should be right now but we aren't. Sakura and I would be under the covers by now, holding each other through sweat and skin, but unfortunately, we're both clothed and not in the same room.

Thanks to my mother who wants to kidnap my girlfriend and hold her hostage so that she can squeeze her to death.

Ugh.

Right now they're climbing up the stairs to my room, probably browsing everything for the millionth time. But Sakura's too polite to say anything, so she just goes along with it.

I was about to put an M&M in my mouth when I dropped it. It fell in between my legs, and I put my hand between my thighs trying to find the piece of chocolate under my ass.

However, my mother and girlfriend decided to walk into that moment at that very time, while I muttered (audibly enough so that they could hear), "Where is that little bastard?"

I looked up, and Sakura was bright red.

I think they meant my penis.

FML.

I don't think I can look anybody in the face anymore.

.

.

.

I was getting panicky and red. Something I have never done, ever. Except for the first time where Sakura and I were about to do it, and we didn't know how to exactly start…it's not as normal as it is the first time with sex like you see in the movies, but now, it's just get it off and be done with.

I didn't want to look at the two women who were staring at me. One was giggling (my mom, of course), and the other was turning redder than me, her head away from my face.

That one was Sakura.

"I didn't mean it that way, I swear," I said as I waved my hands in front of my face. "I dropped an M&M and tried to find it and…well, it's a long story, but it'll make sense, I promise! Just hear me out on this one, okay?"

There was an awkward silence, and Mikoto said, "Sakura-chan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She led the embarrassed Sakura out of my room and I slumped in my seat, sighing. This sucked. Life sucked. I stared at the pack of M&Ms in my hand and threw them out. They disgusted me now. I had a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. Ugh.

I went over to the door, putting my ear next to it. I heard wild shrieks of laughter from my mom, screaming loudly for the whole world to hear, "Does my son really have a genital problem? Is it really so small? Well, his father wasn't exactly one to brag…"

Oh.

My.

…

I'm speechless.

My dick is _not _small! It is very large, in fact, and Sakura can prove it for you. Hell, if you see how big it is erect, then you'd be like, "Whoa, it's like, one of those Subway foot-long sandwiches! Except it's, like, non edible."

Okay, it's not that big either, but it's still pretty darned big for an Asian guy.

I opened the door and screamed, matching my mom's voice, "MY DICK IS NOT SMALL."

Sakura blushed again, and then she fainted.

My mom was on the floor dying form laughter.

And then I hit my head on the door to facepalm myself for being an idiot.

FML.

.

.

.

"Go away," I muttered as Sakura tried to comfort me on my bed. She put an arm around me, while she let my mom go downstairs and locked her out. She had to be sent to the hospital, because she had cracked a rib from laughing to hard. Honestly, I didn't think that was possible, but now that I've seen it, I believe it.

Sakura had regained consciousness and looked at me with eyes that seemed sympathetic, but her smile was ready to explode into giggles.

"I love you," she murmured, trying not to laugh. "You know that, Sasuke-kun. I love the way you are, and I wouldn't change anything about you. Maybe, of course, your behavior, but otherwise I want to keep you the same. It's like that song by Bruno Mars, Just the Way You Are. Except you're a guy and I'm a girl and you're just so beautiful and perfect and everything," Sakura said, sputtering her words out quickly before grabbing my face and kissing me full on the lips.

"You are just so cute!" she squealed before she climbed onto my lap and straddled me. I washed my mouth with mouthwash and brushed my teeth, but the taste of chocolate was still there and I frowned, trying to scrape off my tongue.

She pulled back and looked at me with those kitty-like eyes. "What's wrong? Does my breath smell?" She breathed on her hand and then smelled it, but it wasn't her breath that smelled. It was me.

It's not you, it's me.

And that's what I said to her. She squeaked in shock, and stared at me with angry eyes.

"Y-You're breaking up with me?"

I looked at her face and saw the angry slash sad look. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "No, I'm not breaking up with you. It's about the sweets. The candy!"

I don't know if she understood what I was saying, because I honestly didn't know what I was saying, either.

She slapped me across the face and shook me hard. "What are you _saying_? Get a hold of yourself!" she said, trying to knock some sense into me.

That definitely shook my brain, and I was able to think properly. She held my forearms and I stared into her eyes, which were now dark and full of worry.

"I don't want to eat sweets anymore. I'm never going to eat sweets. I hate candy, I hate chocolate. I hate anything sweet."

Sakura frowned, and she looked at me with all seriousness. "Y-You don't want to share sweets with me anymore? You don't want to do the bonding between us? Sasuke-kun, why? Why are you changing your views so suddenly?" Sakura asked, before her eyes got misty and I knew she was going to cry by the way her lips were pouting.

"I'll explain the whole thing to you," I said. "I didn't get to explain it to my mother, but I will to you, since you'll be quiet enough to actually listen. I was angry that we didn't have time for us together to go _there_," I nodded my head towards the bed, "and make love. Instead, you were with my mom and my boner was getting really, really painful. Like, seriously, girls don't even know how much being horny hurts. Or being kicked in the nuts, but that's different. Anyway, I was eating M&Ms. You know, my favorite type of candy? Not anymore, at least," I said, mumbling. She told me to go on.

"So, I was eating them, those really tiny ones that you buy in the little cylinder bottles? I ate them one by one and I dropped a piece, and it fell in between my legs. Don't you hate that? I do. Well, anyway, when you and my mom came in, I was trying to find it by reaching in between my crotch for it. After all, a candy saved is a candy earned. Sort of," I said as she looked at me with an odd look. "And when you guys heard me saying what I said and thinking that I meant my penis, everything just fell apart. I can't eat sweets anymore, and I don't want to. It'll haunt me forever."

"Oh, that's a shame…" Sakura muttered, looking down. "You really don't like them anymore?"

"I don't."

Before I knew it, Sakura crawled out of my hold and began undressing slowly giving me a strip tease. I felt my dick spring up again, and my face turned hot.

"Could you at least make a change?" she said huskily, trying to sound seductive. Which she was. "Just for me?"

I gulped, and loosened my collar.

"Well, it depends. What did you have in mind?"

She was half-naked, with her shirt on the floor and her breasts ready to spill out of her bra. She climbed on top of me and kissed me neck, to which I moaned. Her skirt was so short, I could see her panties peeking up through then.

"Mm, do you like this?" she said, licking me skin. I held her close to me.

"Yes, I like it."

Then she helped me unclasp her bra and I saw her breasts spring to life. She was topless, just for me, and her skirt was begging to be taken off.

"Sakura…" I moaned. "You're driving me crazy."

She smirked.

"I know. That's the plan."

I hooked my thumbs of the elastic and pulled down, leaving her only in her panties. She took them off and lied on my bed, with her legs spread wide.

"I'm all wet, Sasuke-kun," she said. Holy shit. She's driving me out of my mind, just lying there like that.

I was about to take off my own pants when she stopped me. "No, eat me out."

I was just so impatient, I wanted to be in her now. but she did taste good, and so I put my head in between her thighs and began licking. She moaned, grabbing my hair by the fistful and I savored each drop of her. None of her could be wasted.

I licked her clean until she wasn't sopping anymore, and then licked my lips. I leaned over to kiss her, and she gladly accepted.

"How do I taste?"

"Good," I murmured. "Excellent. I could lick it up forever."

She smiled and held me against her chest, which was bare and warm.

"I love you," I murmured. "You know that, right?"

She nodded in response, and I began to go back to her thighs when she said, "Do I taste sweet?"

"Yes," I responded. And then I realized she was trying to catch me in a trap.

"But you said that you don't like sweets and will never eat them ever again." Then, she proceeded to pick up her clothes and put them on. I grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"I said that I didn't like to eat sweets. You heard me say it." Then I gripped her tighter. "But I told you that I could make an exception. For you. Just for you. You're the only sweet I'll eat and will ever eat. I couldn't live without you, my sugar baby."

Oh great. Now I sounded like a desperate guy. But right now I was desperate for her love.

"Really?"

"Yes."

She kissed me softly, and our foreheads pressed together.

"You sure have a sweet tooth, Sasuke-kun."

But I didn't hear her, because her thighs were temporarily my earmuffs while I began licking Sakura like a cat licks up milk.

.

.

.

_She swallowed me whole, and I groaned as she licked me up clean. She was so skilled with her mouth, she could tie a cherry stem with her tongue, and lick me up clean. Heck, she was even better than me while I licked her._

_"You taste salty," she murmured. "Salty and sweet. Like, uh…"_

_"Hn?"_

_"I don't know. But I don't like salty things," Sakura said, making a face of disgust. I thought she was going to throw me back up, but she licked her lips slowly and said, teasingly, "I think I can make an exception."_

_Aa._

_Life's not so bad after all._

_And I'm still eating sugar. Her sugar. But I'm cavity free. _

_So the next time you see me in a "who has better teeth contest," place your bids on me._

_Uchiha Sasuke is always going to win._

**sry for the late update =( im busy wit hschool ( a lot actually LOL) and i cant update as much as id like to. haha. xD**

**nah that's not ufnny. anyway, i only got like, 7 reviews for the last chapter? D= fml! haha ilyguys anyway. but can u make my day by trying to get up to 530? ill try to update as soon as i can x3**

**i love u all!**


	30. Jack Off

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty. third person.  
******FML o30: Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sasuke came home to find a sock he previously used to whack off on his bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

* * *

**.o30.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**J**_a_c**k **_O_f**f**

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

Sasuke was about ready to cry. Therefore, when an Uchiha cried, that meant that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

And it was.

Sasuke clenched his fists and stared at the…the _thing _on his bed. Lying there so innocently, with those eyes of those…

His secret was revealed. He knew it would be sometimes, but never this quickly. The sock lying there on the bed, with googly eyes and a lipstick drawn mouth on it seemed to be _mocking _him. The eyes shook as he shook the sock, and he threw it to the floor, screaming in anger.

Next to the sock was a note, written in his mother's neat kanji. He picked it up and began reading.

_Sasuke-kun,_

_Because you can't find a girl to satisfy your needs and give me grandchildren, I made your current one prettier. Love, Mommy._

_P.S. What do you want for dinner?_

Yup, Sasuke was definitely about to cry.

He ripped the note into pieces and started intently at the sock that he used to…to, well…it was embarrassing to say, but he might as well just come out with it now.

Sasuke was unable to find a reliable girlfriend, even _with _his looks.

Thus, he turned to his sock drawer.

And began jacking off with it. The same one, every time. Never washed before.

He would have to burn it now, since he realized how disgusting it was.

.

.

.

"I love you," she said to him shyly eight years ago. It was in high school, their freshman year, and Sakura was nervous about confessing to Sasuke. Everyone did, but she felt that hers was a sincere one, since she actually went up to him and got the guts to say those three words instead of yelling them out.

Sasuke looked at her, and then turned his head away. "Hn."

"That's it?" she asked incredulously.

"What did you want me to say?" he replied back. He turned away quickly, not wanting to see the tears in her eyes.

"I...I don't know," she confessed. "I wanted you to tell me that you loved me too, but I know that that's not an option for you. I was hoping you could say something else, even letting me down, but _hn_? Is that all?"

The tears were flowing freely, and she couldn't stop them. He felt guilty and turned around, grabbing her shoulders tightly.

"Something. Anything, at the least!" she sobbed. She clutched at his shirt and cried into it. "Please, Sasuke-kun!"

He let her shoulders go and just stood while she cried.

"I love you," she whispered again, quietly, wiping her tears away. Then, she smiled sadly.

"I know, I must look pathetic crying her again…as everyone says, I'm such a crybaby," she said, her voice shaking. "I just can't help myself."

Sakura bit her lip and wiped her tears away again with her sleeve. "I'm sorry to waste your time."

He saw her walking away, her back hunched, but he didn't chase after he like they did in the romance movies. Instead, he said, "Stop."

She turned around slowly, and before she knew it, he was exactly behind her, so close that their noses could touch if he had bent down or she had tip-toed up.

"I never said I didn't like you," he murmured. "You're annoying, taking things so seriously."

"W-What?"

"Learn to read between the lines a little, Sakura. I hope you're not just academically smart."

"I still don't get—"

He pressed his fingers to his lips and then to hers. Smirking, he ruffled her hair, before walking away.

"I'll see you later."

She pressed her fingers against her lips, tasting them, and nearly cried and laughed at the same time. Then, she screamed in happiness, jumping up and down. Sasuke could hear her, and smirked, while he kept walking.

"I'm in love," she screamed to herself. "I love my life, I love my life, I love my life!"

Huh.

Maybe she wasn't so dumb after all.

Anyway, at twenty-two, they had been a steady couple for God knows how many years.

And he knew that even though she became smarter and smarter (not just academically, too, in the bed), she still couldn't read between his lines.

Annoying little lover.

.

.

.

Although back then, they hadn't really went out as a couple, Sakura continued to bring him small tomatoes daily and sometimes flowers, though that was meant for a woman.

Anyway, he enjoyed the gifts, nonetheless, and accepted then with happiness. He gave her his smile, and she smiled back, while he held her tight in his arms and breathed in her scent.

And sometimes, the two would go out, just the two of them when no one was looking, Sasuke outside at her window (how romantic) and yelling (throwing rocks was hard, since he had bad aim) for Juliet to come out of her room and into his car.

Then, they would go out by the beach, she in a silk blouse and skirt and sunhat, while he was in a T-shirt and jeans. They wouldn't walk hand in hand, in fear that Sakura would have her hands sweating all over his, so instead she walked close to him, her hands on the hem of her shirt.

"Sakura."

She looked at him, and before she knew it, his lips were on hers and he had taken the sunhat off, letting the breeze take it away somewhere, never to be seen again.

They watched the fireworks that night, just the two of them on the damp sandy beach and roaring waves.

.

.

.

"I hate you," Sasuke growled as he clutched the sock in his hand, staring at his mother, who was making waffles. Way to be Asian.

"Hm?" she said, her smile never wiped off from her face. "Did you say something, Sasuke-kun?"

He held the sock in front of her face and made her inhale it. "Do you see this? Do _you _see this?" he said, nearly screaming. "This is why, this is why I hate you, and everything, and…how'd you even know I had it?"

Mikoto never wiped the smile off her face, and took the sock gingerly in her hands. "I found it soaked with…well, your…hm, how do I say this, Sasuke-kun? How do I make this age appropriate?" she said, pondering on what words to use.

"Your…fluids were on it, omitting a strange smell. Of course, I would know this smell, because you and your father are alike more than he and Itachi. Anyway…"

By now Sasuke was ready to puke. His mother gave away too much information, and he really didn't need to know anything else. But he did, in fear that she would find…something else.

"Well, I just found it there on your bed, after you were done. I mean, it was all covered in—" Sasuke closed his ears. "So I decided to wash it and put a little face on it. Right? I mean, don't you think it looks pretty? I do."

Sasuke stood with his mouth agape, and then he suddenly closed it. Pressing his palm to his forehead, he groaned as he threw the sock to the floor. Mikoto tilted her head in confusion and turned the heat off for the waffles.

"What? Don't you like your new girl? I think she's pretty. I mean, I only did this because you don't have a girlfriend, so you know, don't be an ungrateful dick and thank your mother for the good she has given you.

"You didn't do any good for me," Sasuke muttered. "And I already have a girl…" he said even quieter.

Unfortunately, the Uchihas had superhero senses, and though Mikoto was married into the family, she had inherited it from Chemical X: Sugar, spice, and everything nice.

"What girl? After 22 years? Uchiha Sasuke-chan, you better tell me everything right now, or I swear, I will get the other sock and make a penis out of it!" she shrieked, her spatula waving through the air. Sasuke frowned, and turned his head away.

"No girl, it's nothing. I'm single, mom," he said, not wanting to have Sakura revealed after so many years. Only Itachi and Fugaku knew about it in his family, and they swore to secrecy not to tell his mother in fear of him uncovering the "weasel" in Itachi's pants whenever he talked to Konan, or Fugaku's naughty cyber with Mikoto…

Mikoto sighed, and laid down the spatula. "I really thought that you would get married and have kids, so I was glad I gave birth to two handsome young men. Unfortunately, the first one isn't interested in women right now, just in the business, and you…well, I don't know what you are."

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. "You're gay. That's why."

He sputtered saliva out like a sprinkler and nearly slapped himself. "_What_?"

"You're. Homosexual. And it's okay, Sasuke-kun, I can accept it. I'm not like those other mothers who freak out when their son says they're gay. I mean, it's common. And of course, you know that I'm a big fan of Yaoi…" her eyes sparkled, and Sasuke went to the trashcan to throw up.

"You're saying that…you'd _enjoy _me being gay?"

Mikto snapped out of her XXX fantasy. She looked at him seriously, and said, "Although having a gay soon would be very hot, just to sneak up on him and his boyfriend having sex, I still really do want grandchildren…"

Sasuke went up to his mother and shook her silly.

"Mom, I'm not gay."

.

.

.

It took hours to prove that Sasuke really wasn't homosexual, and even with proof and the magazine and whatnot underneath his bed, she still wouldn't believe him.

"Well…you could always be _bisexual_."

Sasuke growled, biting his tongue in order to stop him from calling his mother a bad name, and instead took his cell phone from his pocket and dialed the first number on his speed dial.

Sakura.

He held his mother by the wrist so that she would not leave, and he listened to the waiting line in his ear.

_Beep…beep…beep…_

"Moshi moshi, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said, chirping from the end of the line. "Ho w are you, sweetie? I miss you so much, my little cuppycake, gumdrop, snoogum-boogums."

"Don't call me that. That Strawberry Shortcake song is annoying as hell. And I miss you too," he murmured the last part quietly. "But…you know the secret we had shared? We promised to keep it between just us and a few others and so far you've done a great job?"

"Yeah…?" she said. Then he heard a crash. "Oh damnit, Sasuke-kun! I dropped my nailpolish. Now my nails are all yucky and gross and I have to redo it. Ugh."

"It doesn't matter, just listen to me. I need you to tell this secret. Scream it out, and I'll put you on speaker.

Sakura laughed, her voice shrilly. "Are you crazy? I doubt this is you. You told me to swear this to secrecy and only say it if either of us are going to die. You don't sound like you're dying and you're not breathing heavily like there's a gun to your head. We already practiced this. Call 911 first, and then die."

"I'm not dying, damnit! I just…just say it."

"Sasuke-kun, who is that on the line?" Mikoto said. Unknowingly, Sakura did not know the owner, and had mistaken it for another woman.

"Sasuke-kun? Who…Who is this? Is there another girl over there? Are you…"

He heard another crash, and she screamed something about her nail polish, before hanging up abruptly.

Sasuke sighed, looking at the _1:26 _minutes of the call, and let his mother's wrist go. She rubbed it tenderly and frowned.

"Geesh, what was that?" she said. "You could've killed me, cuppycake, gumdrop, snoogum-boogums."

Sasuke shook his head, frustrated with the world. "You know what, never mind. If you need me I'll be downstairs."

He pushed past her and laid down on the sofa, popping a Tylenol in his mouth. He sure had one hell of a headache.

.

.

.

Someone had broken down his door. There was a crash, a scream, and then heavy breathing. He looked towards the side and saw a figure looming over his mother.

"Get away from him," the voice said, echoing through the whole room. For some reason, rain began to pour, and thunder boomed.

"I—I don't know what you're talking about—" Mikoto began, before the figure, now closer to his mother, shouted.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Keep your boobs in the bra, missy. He likes mine better anyway!"

Sasuke turned.

It was exactly who he thought it was.

Sakura.

And of course, she had to enter in the most annoying way possible while he had a migraine. Great. Just great.

But on the brightside, once all this crap was through, maybe his mom could understand that Sakura was his girlfriend and then they could go start a family upstairs on the left.

"Who are you?" Mikoto began, shaking.

"Who are _you_?"

"I'm his m-mother…" she stuttered, covering her hands in front of her face.

"And I'm his girlfriend."

And the same time, they paused, looked each other straight in the eye, before they both shouted, "You stay away from him!"

Sasuke groaned in frustration as he knew what was going to happen next. He popped another Tylenol in his mouth and stuck earplugs in his ears.

.

.

.

"So…you're not romantically involved with Sasuke-kun, right?" Sakura asked after the two finally got settled down through all that muck.

"Ewwh, no! He's my son, darling!" Mikoto said, handing Sakura a cup of tea and pushing her shoulder playfully. "I mean, that's just gross. Now his father, on the other hand…"

The two had gone from rivals into best friends in less than ten minutes. The rain had stopped, the door had magically repaired itself, and everything was nearly back to normal.

Until…

"Sasuke-kun, this is the girl you've been hiding from for eight years? What's wrong with you? She's a gorgeous woman and I would love to have her as my daughter-in-law." Mikoto grabbed Sakura's shoulders and put the girl closer to her, nearly on her lap. "I mean, she has these cute cheeks I could squeeze, and lovely, soft pink hair, and pretty eyes, and even…" Mikoto's eyes trailed down to her chest, and both Sasuke and Sakura screamed.

"Just joking, I don't roll that way," she laughed, giving Sakura a small spank on the butt. She squeaked, and Sasuke turned red with both embarrassment and anger. Then, she said to Sasuke, "I approve of her, definitely. So while I'm down here arranging the wedding, you two go up and party like a (drunk) rock star with a hooker who charges ten a bang."

The couple stared at each other in embarrassment, Sakura refusing to look at her future mother-in-law. Then, Sasuke took Sakura's hand and led her upstairs.

"Wait, Sasuke-kun, you forgot something!"

He turned around and felt the cotton sock in his hand, with googly eyes and lipstick. Then, in the other hand, she put something…rubbery.

He saw what it was.

A condom, complete with faux eyes and kissy lips. The note said, _Just for her._

"Thanks," he said. He led her up, hearing the small groans of, "I guess I'll just have to go back to my yaoi…" and sat on the couch, putting in one of her new DVDs in the mail.

They were up in his room, Sakura on Sasuke's lap, her hands in his hair, and she smirked.

"What was that sock for?"

He frowned. "It was for me when you weren't there. I missed you, you know."

She kissed his forehead, then began serious.

"So honestly, there's no other girl in your life?"

"Only you, sweetie."

"Cuppycake, gumdrop, snoo—"

She didn't get to finish her sentence, because he had silenced her thoroughly with a kiss.

.

.

.

"Sasuke-kun, what's this other sock doing here?" Mikoto asked as she had the wedding plans in her hand, another sock covered in fluids (the age-appropriate word). "Your boyfriend here looks straight, let me fix that!"

"I'm NOT GAY!"

* * *

**i only like making fun of sasu yaoi bc of his mom, who i think is a rly funny character like kushina haha. otherwise i hate sasu/anyone but sakura. anyway i hope this chapter wasnt too rushed bc i really didnt like how it turned out and i thoughtit could be better...but i dont want to keep u guys waiting.**

**thanks sooooo much for 530 reviews. can we possibly make it up to 560? or is that asking too much? TT^TT i mean id like it but...haha it's okay, just knowing that u guys read and actually spend time to writ a review makes me happy. ily guys!**

**did anyone notice the utakata hanabi ref? LOLOLOLOL xD but i think my storie are kind of cliche...i always use the same plots, but jpoefully u guys dont mind.**

**does anyone have any suggestions for the next chapter?**

**love u!**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	31. MJ

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-one. sakura's pov.  
******FML o31:** **Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML**

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, my brother and I were going to give my parents their anniversary gift, which cost us our whole summer jobs. It was a ticket to see Michael Jackson's concert, June 26th, 2009. But now we're screwed with two unused tickets and no refund. FML.

* * *

**.o31.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**M**_J_

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

_(rip michael jackson, we will always love and remember you!)_

I swear, I'm writing my suicide note right now because I am soooo angry with the world and I'm ready to kill something. Or _someone_. Like myself.

Sasori and I (he's my brother, FYI) were working really, really, _really extremely _hard to make money over the spring months for our parents' anniversary, which was in late June. Like, I was literally working my ass off. And usually, I don't work. I just make people work _for _me, but this time I actually put my heart and soul out there and it was _crushed_.

Sasori's mad, too. He's back in his room playing with his dolls. (Long story short: he was selling little puppets (but honestly they're dolls) throughout the summer and actually managed to sell some to little girls. But not me. I'm busy playing with my Legos to care about dolls).

We took all our part-time jobs and even had to skip some homework (well, I never do it…so it doesn't really matter for me), but I spent all my party time just working. Three thousand dollars all together. Me, I earned…uh, 2000. For looking sexy.

My work was basically dressing up in cute clothes way too small for me (I'm not fat, I swear…they're just anorexic), and staying out on the curbs all night, smoking a fake cigarette and showing a little bit of skin while doing a little catwalk.

I'll admit it wasn't my proudest moments, but damn, I got a _lot_ of money for being what I am. Hot.

Anyway, all those times of being fondled (and then hitting the bastard in the jaw) was worth the 2000 dollars. Was. Not anymore.

All 3000 dollars was wasted, on that drastic moment of a Thursday. June 25th, 2009. The worst day of my life, and about everyone else's too.

Michael Jackson was pronounced _dead_. My favorite singer. My favorite dancer. Hell, my favorite pedophile! He was dead and I worked _hours _for the money so my mom and dad could see his concert.

Our family was obsessed with Michael Jackson, the king of Pop. Screw Elvis, because Rock isn't as cool, but Pop…

I remember crying, not only for myself, but for poor MJ. Then I went up in my room and started typing a letter to Michael's family to tell them how sorry I was and stuff…I miss Michael. He was such a sweetie.

But now, I'm writing my memoir to tell you how much my life sucked after Michael Jackson passed away. Although, it _has _gotten better. It just has to do with a boy in my life. Forever in my life. The ring says it all.

_Rip, Michael Jackson. We will never forget you_.

FML.

.

.

.

His concert was on June 26th, the day after his death. It was Friday then, and my parents were _really _eager to see it. In fact, I think they took the death harder than I did, which was kind of surprising, since I'm a HUGE MJ fan.

"Don't stop 'til you get enough," I sang to myself as I hopped down the stairs. "Cuz it's a thriller…thriller…"

My parents were popping Valium faster than I could say "Thriller," and my brother was on the sofa curled up with his life sized doll. I was sad, too, so I tried to cheer my family up.

"Let's watch some TV," I said hurriedly, hoping that they wouldn't start Niagara Falls all over again. Last night, it was impossible to sleep because of all the racket.

I turned on the TV.

"Michael Jackson…_dead_?"

Next channel.

"Yesterday, Michael Jackson passed away…"

Next channel.

"THE KING OF POP IS GONE."

That was enough to put all of us in tears, and I ran over to Sasori and hugged him tight. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away, because he was probably as sad as I was.

Nothing could make me happy now. Not even the refund. But there wasn't ANY refund, anyway. So I'm pretty mad about that, too.

.

.

.

A lot of people at summer school were…surprisingly _not _upset about my favorite singer's death. They were actually laughing and making jokes about it, which was really disrespectful.

"Stop it," I said. "Don't insult him!"

They stopped, laughed at me, and then said, "It's good for the little boys who won't have to suffer his touches again."

I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. They were so mean! But maybe I was just really sensitive, too. So I turned away and bumped into a hard, chiseled chest.

"Sakura?"

I looked up, a tear leaking out. "Hi, Sasuke-kun."

His usually solemn face twisted into a barely noticeable worry, and he tipped my chin up so he could see my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head away from his grasp. "Nothing. It's just something stupid."

He _chuckled, _freakin' _chuckled_, and said, "You're such a bad liar, Sakura. I've known you forever, you know."

I held my head down in embarrassment. "I know."

He thought that he had hurt me again, so he ruffled my hair softly and said, "Don't worry about it. They're jerks anyway, you know. You can do so much better."

I saw him walk away with Naruto, who put his arm around Sasuke's neck while he tried to push him off. I thought of Sasuke's words and smiled. Yeah, he was right. And cute.

My crush just comforted me.

But that still didn't fix my problem.

Although it made me feel 100 times better.

.

.

.

Some people were just as upset as I was about Michael Jackson's death. Especially Lee. Our only interests were both loving the King, but that was basically it.

Otherwise, we were as different as oil and water. Sort of. I mean, yeah…we were like, not tight, like his spandex, but we're tight enough to share earphones and borrow each others' MJ CDs.

Teachers had to hush people for causing ruckus, and I didn't want to use any more energy than I had to. So I laid down my head and pretended to sleep, trying to get rid of the sounds around me. My life was hell right now.

So I took my iPod out of my pocket and put the volume on full blast.

_DON'T STOP TILL YOU GET ENOUGH, COME ON._

It made me cry a little bit, but at least it was comforting to get rid of the noise around me.

Where was Sasuke when I needed him? I mean, no one else could make me feel all googly and slimy and warm and wet just by the look of him. Only Sasuke-kun. And although he thought I was annoying at first (which, yes, I am), and he still does, at least he thinks of me as a friend and actually softens up. Naruto taught him well, but still, I'm kind of upset because he doesn't know that I like him.

I think.

.

.

.

I ate my lunch by myself and went outside to go sit under my favorite willow. It had good shade but was still really warm, and the bark was soft and the grass was moist…

"What are you doing here?"

I looked up, seeing someone blocking my shade. "Hi, Naruto," I said. "Where's Sasuke-kun?"

Naruto jerked his head towards the parking lot, where Sasuke sat in his car, listening to a couple of CDs. I couldn't hear the music, but he seemed relaxed and even happy.

"What about Hinata?"

"She's sick today. I'm going to go in Sasuke's car to drive to her house to make her some chicken ramen!" he said. "But anyway, how are you? I heard it's hard for you to cope…"

I twisted my mouth. "Yeah."

He put a hand on my shoulder. "Well, you know, Sakura-chan. Me and Hinata-chan and Sasuke-teme will always be there for you, dattebayo! I mean, we're like…we're like ramen. The noodles are us, tangled in our friendship. But we'll all end up in the same stomach, and then disintegrate into little tiny pieces until we're dumped into a toilet bowl of feces."

"Ugh, Naruto. TMI," I groaned. "TMI."

Naruto shrugged, but then he ruffled my hair and then said, "Good luck, Sakura-chan! ('ll tell Hinata you said hi."

I saw him walk away, into Sasuke's car, when Sasuke stared at him in anger, glaring because his alone time was no longer…alone time. Sasuke put the car into reverse and drove out of the parking lot.

I checked my watch, and went back inside. Then, I saw the gang of gangsters (ha) smoking outside the school building, the seniors. The problem was: they paid me to do a sexy dance for them, and I did—but I ran off with the money before the whole dance was completed.

They saw me. And came over.

I froze like a deer in headlights.

.

.

.

"Hi, uh…" I strugged to remember the blonde boy's name. "Deidra."

"It's Deidara, cherry-berry," he said, growling. "Where's my lap dance?"

"What?" I said innocently. "I don't…I don't get…"

"Here, now. Come on, make yourself comfortable and we'll start a party." The gang started cornering me and I was about to scream, until the bell rang.

"You guys should be in class! That was the late bell!" an angry teacher said as she pried the gang away. "What are you doing to this girl? Are you trying to harass her? Detention, all of you, and…"

She saw me, and froze.

"Hey…you're the girl who stole my wallet in poker!" she growled, before I could run.

"What?" I said.

"Get back here!"

I ran as fast as I could, like a cheetah, but much hotter and more pink, and away to the safe part of the school. It was either get killed on the bad side, or listen to the Jackson taunts on the other.

Both were hell, but I wanted to at least save myself first.

.

**later in the day**

.

Sasuke-kun was back! I gave him a big hug and held him tight, as if I would lose him if I let go.

"Hey…hey, what are you doing?" he said, trying to pry my arms off. "Sakura, what the hell's up with you?"

"I missed you," I said in his chest. "And you smell yummy."

He finally pried my arms from his waist and held me by my forearms. "Relax."

I took a deep breath, before I squeezed him again. "Life sucks without you being with me."

"I was gone for 10 minutes, you idiot."

"Still."

He stood there awkwardly while I glomped him. I really missed Sasuke throughout those 600 seconds, and I realized that 600 seconds, even just 600 seconds without him was hell. I didn't want to lose Michael. I also didn't want to lose my Sasuke-kun.

"Sasuke-kun, I love you," I said quietly and seriously. "I want to have you by my side, just you and me, even if you don't love me too. Because really, it's been hell without you with me for 600 seconds, and every time we're not in class together I think about you and dream about you and you're the only person who can make me squeal and shout like a little girl. You're the only one in my heart, except for Michael, but I can make room for you anyway. So won't you please give me a chance?"

"Sorry," he said quietly. I looked up at him and was about to cry.

"W-What? Which other girl is in your life?"

"It's not a girl," he murmured. "He…he's been in my heart forever, Sakura. I can't give him up."

I held him tight. "Who?" I said, nearly shrieking.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "To tell you the truth, I'm a Michael Jackson closet nerd. I have every CD he's ever recorded, all his songs on my iPod, and his movie on DVD, high-def BluRay."

"What?" I said. "No you don't! I…you don't seem like the person!"

"Try me," he said.

I frowned, and began to challenge him at my own game.

.

.

.

"You got all the questions right? How could you? I didn't even get half of them!" I said as I was on my laptop, doing the Ultimate Michael Jackson quiz online. Only one person got a perfect score, and he was hotness in a body right next to me.

"I made it," he murmured, writing his name on the scoreboard. "This quiz is mine."

I punched him in the jaw. "You're a jerk, you know that?" He smirked at me and closed my computer. "I know."

"So you were upset too, when…"

"Definitely, Sakura. I'm a huge fan of him, remember? Idiot," he said, muttering. "You're so annoying."

"Thanks," I said, twisting my mouth. He chuckled again, when he said, "I heard that Sasori was upset when the incidence happened."

"Yeah. Our whole family was."

"Is it true that he plays with dolls?"

"Unfortunately."

Sasuke chuckled. The shade was just perfect under the willow where we were, and little bits of sunlight were dropping on his face, his eyes closed and relaxed.

"You could've asked me for the money," he murmured. "I don't want those perverts looking at you like that in those outfits."

"What're you talking about?" I asked, packing up my laptop bag.

"When you were earning money…I saw you on the streets in those skimpy clothes. The way those men looked at you…I could have killed them all.

"Why are you being so protective?" I asked again, slightly angry.

He put a hand on my waist, putting me on his lap. Then, his hand was on my stomach, trailing up to my breast. He cupped it gently, and smirked, his face an inch away from mine.

"I'm always protective of you, idiot. Just like Naruto is with Hinata."

I kind of got where this was going. Me, on his lap, feeling his dick rise, and…well, yeah.

"Wait, so technically there's not a guy...or girl in your life, right?"

"Hn." _Yes_.

"I like this position we're in," I admitted, putting my arms around his neck. He unzipped my shirt slowly and reached in to feel the edges of my bra cup.

"Me too," he said, kissing my neck. Before he could unclasp my bra, he said, "Sakura?"

"Hm?" I said, pressing my face in the crook of his shoulder.

"I don't think that Michael Jackson was a pedophile for little boys. That he touched them. But I hope you wouldn't mind if I touched you," he said, feeling the curve of my ass.

I giggled, while I felt him smirk, and I told him my answer.

I didn't mind.

I didn't' mind at all.

.

.

.

Two weeks later I got something in the mail.

_Due to the unfortunate circumstances, we present you with your refund of 3000 dollars, addressed to Miss Haruno Sakura and Mr. Haruno Sasori._

I smiled. But Sasuke took the note from me and put it in his pocket.

"Hey!" I said, trying to grab it. He chuckled, and held my hands in his.

"You owe me a dance."

So I did.

It was the King of Pop's very own _Thriller_. My life in a song, except without the zombies.

My eternity was now amazing. Filled with thrills of all kind. Of Sasuke. Of Michael Jackson, knowing that he was watching over us in heaven. With everything.

With great sacrifices come great gifts.

Thank you, Michael.

Rest in peace.

* * *

**htis chapter was rly rushed LOL. i thought it waws kind of off topic and stuff but i hope u gusy like it.**

**and im not trygn to diss michael jackson. im actually a really big fan, buti hate how peopl were trying to dis s him and stuff after he was dead =( i love MJ, rip!**

**please ereview! 570 this time?**


	32. Touchy Touchy

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-two. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o32: **Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I fell asleep in class during the lecture. I was wearing sweatpants and had a boner thinking about my girlfriend. My professor came up to me and grabbed my dick. He thought it was my cell phone. I've been fondled by an 80 year old. FML.

* * *

**.o32.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**T**_o_u**c**_h_y **T**_o_u**c**_h_y

_damn fanfiction won't let me use my dash breaks anymore. fml._

.

Honestly, this time, I'll give you permission to shoot me in the face. Go ahead. Right now. Pull the trigger and make my brains go kersplat.

I have never been more embarrassed than I have ever. _Ever_. Even the Uchiha ancestors, who are looking up from hell, are nodding their heads in agreement, stroking their bearded goatees (LOL C. REX) while they debate about the situation.

First thing when the bell rings, I am going straight to the administration offices and getting my transfer form. I will _never _be able to go within 100 miles of this college again after this situation.

I'm also gonna have to break up with Sakura, which is going to hurt us both hard. I mean, she helped me through everything, hard or not, but this…this is just unbelievable. I think she might take it worse than me.

Actually, I know she is. I can hear the screaming already and the murder scene. Blegh.

Anyway, I'm also going to have to burn my sweatpants. They've been…contaminated by an elder. Therefore, it's not possible for me to wear this garment any longer in fear that my skin will shrivel up and wrinkle.

Oh, and my cell phone? I flushed it down the toilet. I can't think about cell phones ever again. Ever. I'm going to migrate to one of those Amish villages and live there. Technology-less. Maybe I can grow porn and cotatoes. Er, I mean, corn and potatoes.

I am fucking amazing. Don't deny it. Uchiha Sasuke is boss.

Anyway, my feet are taking me down to the office right now, so I'm going to fill out these forms and then get the hell out of here.

You shouldn't know what's happening. You never will know. I won't allow it.

Everyone who was there must now die.

.

**recap, an hour before.**

.

I had just kissed my absolutely fantastic beautiful girlfriend, Sakura, before we left to go to our classes. She waved goodbye and smiled, and I smirked back at her before taking a seat in my class. I chose the middle row, because I forgot to wear my contacts and my glasses were broken. I put my cell phone in my pocket, waiting for Sakura to text me after she was done so we could skip.

About ten minutes later, almost everyone was in, and the professor, Sarutobi-sensei, began. He was talking about the history of wars in Konoha and stuff, and how we fought them and lost and whatever…it was boring. Honestly, I only signed up for the class because I thought we would be learning about guns and bloody battles and stuff. Really, it's not.

Don't get me wrong. He's a nice person. It's just not my thing…I guess.

I'm getting ready to fall asleep. Last night was a "late" night, if you know what I mean. By the way, I'm going to have to text Sakura to pick up her bra. Note to self. Keep lingerie away from roommate slash best friend. He's going to blackmail both you and your love.

I looked around. Some people were diligently taking notes. Others were, truthfully, asleep in the most obvious way possible. I mean, Naruto was literally lying on the desk snoring.

So maybe I could take a few snoozes before something happened.

.

.

.

I was dreaming about Sakura, of course. I loved the way her hair was so soft and silky. I liked short hair a lot more than long hair, despite what people thought. Her face was so beautiful and she was the most amazing person I had ever laid eyes on (besides me, of course).

We were kissing on the couch, before it got a little more heated. A hand up her shirt. A hand down my pants. Clothes on the floor. Me on top of her. Moans. Kisses. Bites. Everything.

Lovely.

Though I was sleeping, I could still feel my cock rising slowly, throbbing with excitement. She looked at me with those sinfully sweet eyes of hers, and reached out, and stroked it. I groaned in pleasure. Then, she looked at me again, her face now twisted in horror, and she grabbed it. Hard.

I woke up.

Everyone was looking at me. And I was wondering why. Look, I know that I'm really sexy and all, and way too sexy for my shirt, but there is a lecture going on up there, and just because I wasn't paying attention doesn't mean you all don't have to either.

Then I looked down at my crotch. And up at the hand's owner who was holding my crotch.

"Uh, hi there," I said nervously. Omfg, omfg, omfg. Not only am I sounding like Sakura, but Sarutobi was holding onto my dick. In front of 200 people.

Kill me now.

"Hi, Sasuke-san."

I began backing away, my thighs pressing against each other as tightly as possible. He took his hand away, thank God.

"What was that in your pants?" he said.

Everyone began snickering, and I could feel myself turn red. "W-What?"

He held his tanned, wrinkled hand covered in liver spots out. Ewwh. If I look like that when I'm older, I swear, I will cut somebody. After all, this skin isn't flawless for nothing.

"Your phone, Uchiha-san."

"My…what?" I didn't' get what he was talking about. What phone? Yeah, it was in my pocket, but…

"Your phone. I'm going to have to confiscate it, Sasuke."

I almost sighed in relief. So he _didn't _grab me. Where, uh, us guys use the urinals with. I took my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. He put it in his own pocket and said, "You know, you moan when you're dreaming. Do you want to go to the nurse and get a change of pants?"

I looked down, and everyone began hollering in laughter. Even Naruto, who had also awakened.

Holy shit.

My pants were wet because I apparently cummed in them while having my wet dream. About Sakura.

Damn, that woman makes me crazy. I swear, she will be in so much trouble tonight in bed. But I can't help love her anyway.

"Did somebody have an accident?" Naruto cooed in a baby-ish voice. I hit him in the stomach. "Shut up, dobe. It's not like you don't do that when you're thinking about Hinata."

In the back of the room, someone fainted, and girls were crowding around with cries of "ARE YOU OKAY? DAIJOBOU?"

Naruto immediately turned red, and I smirked. Then, I felt the warm stickiness of my own semen and grabbed my stuff, going back to my dorm to change my pants.

.

.

.

Yes, this was the most embarrassing moment of my life.

No, unfortunately, I didn't have my razorblade.

I went back to my dorm and locked the door, sitting on my bed and groaning to myself as I cursed the male reproductive system for being so sensitive. Girls say that getting their period in class is bad, but this is worse. I mean, girls get their periods in class all the time. But guys? This NEVER happens to them.

Karma just decided to be a bitch to me, just because he was jealous that I was sexier than he was.

Oh yeah, that's the truth. And don't you deny it, you silly billies. (It's Sakura's word for idiots).

I was pitying myself until I realized something: Sarutobi has my cell phone.

Sakura was going to text me to get me out of class.

Oh no.

He can_not _read that. Nor can he read the other 163 (dirty) messages we had sent to each other.

Ughh, if my life could get any worse, it just did.

I've been fondled (which, by the way, the world saw) by an 80 year old pedophile who I'm sure keeps pictures of me in his wallet (and no, I'm not flattered. I'm creeped out, honestly, and you would be, too), and what's worse is that he has my cell phone, which contains all the dirty messages that have been sent by my girlfriend and she's ready to get me out of school but obviously since he has my cell phone I won't know when and he's gonna get the message and we'll _both _be screwed for trying to ditch class, _and _he might even read all our text messages out loud, so when I don't turn in a homework assignment or whatever or "cheat" on a take-home quiz, he's going to blackmail me and I'll live with that for the rest of my college life.

FML. Could an Uchiha's life get any worse?

My ancestors agree. Oh, and they send greetings from the fiery depths of Hades.

I guess I'm going there, too. My innocence has been taken away from me.

.

.

.

Life sucks, and then you die.

That's kind of how my life has been so far. Except for Sakura, which was basically the high point of my depressing, stick-assed life called "Being a sexy Uchiha has limitations."

It runs in the family, too, so once you clash Sakura's, "KAWAII DESU! OMG, LIKE, TOTALLY, RIGHT?" and my "Hn," we might actually get normal kids. Might. I'm still hoping.

I think right now, everyone in school knows what just happened to the famous Uchiha Sasuke. I'm walking down the halls for my transfer slip, and people are pointing at me, saying, "That's the guy who just…" every step I take. Every. Corner. I. Turn.

This is torture, literally. Worse than hanging me up on a rod and burning me alive. I'd rather face that than extreme embarrassment and a downfall to my pride and ego.

I'll never be able to look my family in the eye again. They'll disown me, and I'll get kicked out of every college I apply to, and I'm pretty sure I'll be living in a cardboard box smelling like urine in New York City for the rest of of my life.

I continue to walk. Some of the adults are even talking about me. And I'm upset. This has been a tornado of my life in just 80 minutes, and there's no need to make it worse than it already is. I mean, seriously. When a creepy pedophilic teacher (the only thing good out of this was that it wasn't Orochimaru) touches you in front of everyone and you know that he keeps pictures of you in his wallet, but he isn't a fifteen year old girl…then you've obviously got some issues.

I'm walking up to the administration offices and turning the doorknob.

And I see Sakura. Right there, smack dab lying down in the middle of the chair, crossing her legs and folding her arms as if she was waiting for me.

Actually, I think she was.

.

.

.

"Uh, hey," I said, not looking at her. I couldn't risk any more embarrassment than I already had.

"Hi." Short. Curt. Er, I think she's mad, but I'm not sure how to deal with girls who PMS.

I gave her a small nod, and walked right past her to get the form from the shelf. She stopped me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back, which caught me by surprise. I fell on the floor, my back against the carpet, and before I knew it she was on top of me, pinning me down.

Rawr. Very sexy.

I think I was growling too, and making that really suggestive wink, because her face was confused. I almost took the chance to flip her over and ravish her on the floor, but she was too quick for me. Pussy-like reflexes. Pussycat, of course. What did you think I meant?

Oh, you pervert.

I'm pretty sure the door is locked now. A trap of Sakura's that she always loved to do. Lock doors the second someone opens it. And I think she accomplished it very well, as always.

"So I hearda bout it," she said, her hot breath fanning my face. Mm, her breath smelled good. Like Orbit. Cleaning out dirty mouths.

Actually, we both had pretty dirty mouths. Not just potty-mouths. I mean, we've gone through at least 20 dental dams in the past year.

Anyway, she looked at me with those eyes. The seductive eyes. Rawr, again. This time I think that SHE purred, but I can't be sure. I just know that there's something going on in my pants. Just in the front, this time.

"Hn?" I said, responding to her last question.

"Sarutobi fondled you."

I groaned, holding my head back. But this groan was not one of pleasure It was more of, "Shit, you heard it too? Now I'm really gonna have to kill myself."

She held my wrists harder and I winced. Damn, that girl's got fists of steel. Haha. I laugh at my own corny jokes.

"Did you like it?" she snarled. Uh oh, the beast is angry. Calm her down. Calm her down!

"Of course not, what the hell?" I said back. "I'm not gay, remember?" Then I oouldn't help but see how her cleavage was visible if I tilted my head up right. Very nice.

"You don't have to be. Did you, or did you not like it?"

"I didn't."

Sakura pursed her lips for a second, and I swore that she was so charming without even knowing it I could just kiss her right there and then.

"Okay."

Then, she let me go and rolled off me, her back now on the carpet. I took this chance and was then on top of _her_. Vice versa. Etc. Whatever you want to call this.

"You left your bra at my dorm," I said, remembering my note. "Naruto almost saw it."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Please. I don't think he even know what a bra _is_."

I was about to say something about how Hinata's bras were kept in his drawer, but I thought otherwise. I bent down, my bangs tickling her forehead, and I said, "You're unreasonably cute, do you know that?"

"Of course I do."

"So…"

I didn't have time to answe,r as she grabbed my head and began to kiss me fervently. Her hands were on my back, scratching softly while I put my hand up her shirt.

I think someone finally got mad that the administration office was locked, so the janitor finally used his key to open it.

And I'm pretty sure that after that, they immediately locked it again to avoid the embarrassment of walking in on two hormonal young-adults rolling around on the carpet.

But the good thing wasn't just the sex. I mean, sex is always good, but Sakura totally made me forget about the transfer form. And I think now that everyone had seen it, my reputation just got a giant boost from being the sexy guy who was fondled to the sexy guy who just got laid by an equally sexy girl.

Ahh.

.

.

.

Okay, so, I'm back in class and it's still a little weird. I mean, I can't look Sarutobi in the eye anymore, so I'm transferring out to a different class.

"Sasuke-san, your phone."

He tossed me my cell, and I caught it easily. He gave me a wink, and said, "You'd best not wear sweatpants again, Sasuke."

I frowned, but gave a small nod. "I know."

"You know, I really was fondling you. You just didn't know it."

The world stopped. I stopped breathing. In fact, time froze over.

"Nah, just kidding."

I quickly ran away.

He chuckled.

But from the way his eyes were shining, I don't think that he was joking.

FML.

.

**during the time sasuke and sakura were having fun in the office…**

.

Sarutobi held up the projector remote, and connected my cell phone to the computer. Everyone was sitting in their seats, as Sarutobi pulled up my inbox messages.

From: Sakura  
To: Sasuke

_I wanna suck u hard, yummyumyum_

And that wasn't all. Everyone was laughing and stuff, and II, too, was teased for this.

But what's worse? They read the sent, too.

From: Sasuke  
To: Sakura

_Your breasts are like two soft mountains, their peaks waiting for the snow to gently fall and make you shiver…._

Yes, I took a poetry class. No, I'm not gay. Yes, she totally bought it and loves me more than ever, but now I'm considered an emo kid because I write poetry and I look emo.

And the very, very worst?

"Please enter your password, then press pound. You have 3 new voicemails."

Everyone couldn't stop laughing, from what Naruto told me.

Actually, those transfer forms sound pretty darn good right now.

FML.

* * *

**sry for the wait everyone, haha. i hoped yo like this chapter and THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! ilysfm, guys!**

**can we make it to 600? =O i'm counting on you!**

**loveyou all!**

**-ohh, &&xena**


	33. WoW

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-three. itachi's pov!  
******FML o33: **Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a random girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, me, the wonderful Itachi, got to listen to my younger brother have sex with his girlfriend while I was on my computer. Playing WoW. On a Friday night. Again. I'm kind of jealous. FML.

* * *

**.o33.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**W**_o_W

_prompt by saku-sasu2009!_

.

She began taking off her shirt, letting me look at her wonderful breasts, ones that made porn stars shy away in shame. They were jiggly, but firm, and softly rounded. Bouncy and big. Like, seriously, they were two giant blow up balls. I mean, her boobs were freakin' _huge_.

I thanked God she wasn't wearing a bra. That would've totally ruined everything, but, well, I was too horny to pay attention to that kind of stuff. I unzipped my pants. She went over to me and kissed me softly, then my neck. And then my bare chest.

She was taking my boxers off and held my hard length in her hand. Rubbing up and down so hard that I came already even without her sucking on it and swallowing.

I swore, this was heaven. And then I realized something.

My pants were on. There was no hot girl in front of me giving me a boob-blow job. I basically just wet myself and my butt was sore from sitting on my leather seat.

Oh, and the make things worse, I just wet myself. I'm twenty-two, sitting in my room while the lights are dimmed and the only thing that's glowing is my computer screen, which has my World of Warcraft game on and one of my forty online girlfriends (this one's name is Mika. Let me tell you, it was _so _hard memorizing all the girls' names, where they lived, what they liked, and everything else). Mika and I have been cybering for a little bit, like I do with everyone else, and sometimes we engage in a couple cyber threesomes. Or four. Maybe more.

It's like that Britney Spears song. _One two three, not only you and me, blah, blah, blah..._

My bad, that's Kesha.

Anyway.

Mika's sent me a lot of hot pics of herself. Actually, it's not even Mika, I think. It's probably some old gay pedophile fatass who has nothing better to do than play games all day even though he doesn't have a job. Which is not me, because I am not fat and I am not that old yet.

I know because I've seen the copyright on the corner of the picture. To be honest, I sent a few pictures of myself. (I know you're not supposed to do that, but I'm over 18 and I'll do what I damn well please!) Maybe I photoshopped a couple of them, gave myself an 8 pack when I actually just have four, but I want you to name someone who _doesn't _do that.

From the thin walls of my room, I can hear very feminine moans which remind me of the one girl who made me who I am. No, not gorgeous, I was already that, but made me the gamer who talks on the forums all day and pays my monthly fee to play WoW.

The mattress is creaking. And I hear my brother, Sasuke, who's nineteen let out a nice deep groan. Which is really weird, since we're brothers and all. Ugh. Then, I didn't hear anything for a couple more minutes, until the whole thing started again.

And something reminds me.

I'm still sitting in my semen. But my butt's numb and really warm, so I think I'll just continue cybering.

.

.

.

I've been playing for sixteen hours straight right now, not even bothering to get up to take a piss or eat or anything. I've had my mom send food through the doggy door, and then I use my remote control car to bring it to me, so all I have to do is bend over. I swear, my eyes are getting worse and worse each time. I have to wear these huge thick-rimmed glasses that are about three-inches thick, but make me look like the hot nerd anyway, so I guess it all works out.

Sasuke also wears glasses like that, which attracted his lover who was now screaming his name again. Ugh, I really hate how he stole Sakura away from me so easily. And she, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why I'm such a gamer who talks in 1337-speek and is busy pwning everyone else.

Oh.

Shit.

I just died.

...FML. But besides that, I hate sitting in my wet pants, so I think I'm going to stand up and take my first shower in thirty-six hours.

I'm standing up.

And I fall down.

My knees feel like jello and I can't stand up due to my numb butt cheeks and jelly-legs.

.

.

.

My mom tells me that I need to get a girlfriend. I mean, I keep telling her that I do have a girlfriend. I have a lot, actually. I named all of them, including Mika and my hillbilly girlfriend, Billy Anne.

She's from America, and although that's a lesbian name, she's actually pretty hot, despite the unattractive blonde armpit hair she refuses to shave. She kinda fits the redneck stereotype well, but, whatever. She has nice tits.

But then mom tells me that I need a girlfriend that I can actually bring home, like Sasuke's "pretty one." Well, I wish I could tell her that the one I'd like to bring home is already at home. With my brother. Under his covers.

Naked.

So yeah, she took it kind of seriously, since that meant I wouldn't be in my bed playing a two-player game instead of one.

Who can blame me? World of Warcraft is amazing.

That's why they call it WoW. Uhm, duh. I thought that was common sense.

.

.

.

Sasuke's coming out of the room with his girlfriend next to him. He has an arm around her and is kissing her repeatedly while walking down the stairs. I'm seeing Sakura giggle profusely and mom and I are at the table eating, since she literally dragged me down. I mean, the whole shebang.

Ugh.

My eyes are hurting. So is my chest. I really want to punch both of them in the face for leaving me to be like this. Twenty-two, "single," and a pro gamer who has published four books on how to become richer in World of Warcraft.

I mean, at least I've gotten _some _accomplishments done.

I'm actually really proud. If you look in my room, you can see all my trophies that I've collected. It's really quite a sight.

Anyway. I'm not sure what day it is, or what month, or even what year. Actually, I don't think I've ever been out of the house since...well, a long time.

But mom tells me that it's Thursday. Sasuke's driving his girlfriend to school, and I'm ready to go back upstairs to play more games and damage my eyesight a bit more until I'm as blind as a bat.

"Itachi, your room smells like shit. I swear, it's even messier than Naruto's, and he has cockroaches in week-old ramen bowls."

Sakura agreed by shaking her head.

And I scowled.

"Mind your own business, motherfucker."

My mom screeched, gave me a lecture, and slapped me across the face. Sasuke smirked. And Sakura, I think, laughed.

I checked my watch. It was about 8 am.

"I gotta go. Billy Anne's waiting for me in Idaho. I think she's massaging her boob tissue so we can Skype."

But I forgot that Billy Anne wasn't here, a live blonde picking potatoes.

Walking past Sakura and purposely brushing her with my arm, I went back upstairs.

.

.

.

"Hey babe," I wrote on my chat.

"You're lookin' hot today, sugar."

One of my other girlfriends online was making flirtatious faces at me and pretending to blow me kisses. And then we started engaging in a little cyber.

_Show me your warm, hard, hot length, _she wrote. I quickly typed back, my long fingers skilled in the art of sexting.

_Damn right I will, babe, _I wrote back. _Let me put them in between your juicy tits._

She laughed. _Oh my, you're naughty. _

_Fuck yeah, bitch._

Life was pretty good when you forget about the alcohol and the reason _why _you're drinking alcohol. Maybe it's because of pink hair and green eyes and how my brother actually seduced her. I guess it's not all her fault. Even though she doesn't know what she's missing, I kinda did spend our four-day relationship playing games nonstop. One time I went straight for 44 hours, my record—I'm trying to get up to 48, but I had a 5-hour-energy crash right before. She had to wake me up by banging my head on my keyboard, and I got mad at her, so I think that was about the time we broke up. Which reminds me, I think we only spent about fifteen minutes together before I told her that I needed to go "check my email." Which obviously was a lie, but how else would I get to play WoW?

Well, Sasuke heard about it, and he finally had the chance to pursue the girl he'd been trying so hard to get. And at first she didn't agree, but then she grew up more to him. He'd already confessed his love to her multiple tiems and is even thinking about _proposing _to her after they get finished with school, but she doesnt' want to think about marriage before college yet. Very smart. Good decision. Academics are more important than boys. Gaming is more important than girls. Sort of. I mean, if you combine the two together, it's like, _jackpot_. Anyway, I know that she loves him very much, but isn't ready for marriage right now.

Yes, I stalk Sakura on FaceBook with a different account name. It's Pillsbury Doughboy, but she friended me anyway. Actually, I think she's one of those people who friend without even knowing _who _they're friending. Anyway. I follow her on Twitter, too, and even on MySpace which no one uses. Sometimes I write anonymous emails to her and then to my brother, telling him that he's way too loud for his own good. I might be weird, but once Sakura sees me and Mika and Billy Anne in a threesome, she'll come running back to me and I'll say no, just to rub it in her face.

I was bored with what was happening and now depressed over a heartbreak that happened about six months ago. The best way was to drink out until my liver rot and I puked. But I didn't have any sake with me and mom would be _beyond pissed _if she saw me drinking again. Besides, I didn't want to go up to a bar. I didn't have the time or money.

So I took a nice nap, my face implanted on my keyboard. And when I'd wake up in a couple hours or so, I'd have waffle-like imprints on my face and I will probably wake up to see that I've written something that goes a little like:

asdkfljltiopewu8329i98,kmsdipoetwu

.

**friday night**

.

Sasuke and Sakura have just come back from school a couple hours ago. They're in his bedroom, and I think they're watching a movie together. Sakura's on his lap, and he's stroking her hair while kissing the top of her head. She's putting his hand onto her breast and he's smirking as she grabs his other hand to put on her stomach.

I'm watching this through my peephole next to my computer so I don't have to get up. It's kind of big, about the size of a golf ball. Like, it's big enough to see what I want, but it won't give me _all _the juicy details.

I may be a Peeping Tom, but at least I'm just taking care of my brother and my lovah. After all, safe sex is good sex! Although I'm pretty sure both of them are STD-free and that she's on the pill. Or maybe they're using condoms. Hm.

Now she's on top of him, pinning him to the bed, and licking him while taking off his shirt and placing small kisses over his chest. He's groaning, his hands on her ass, and he's rocking his hips against hers, thrusting through their clothes. Their lips continue to lock and there's some _major _tongue action going on. I mean _major_. It's way too hot to be PG-13.

Finally, one of them decided that the clothes needed to come off, and Sakura took care of that. Unfortunately, they made love under the covers, so I didn't get to see what happened after that besides a glimpse of a bare arm or a nice creamy thigh. along with long pink hair draped over the mattress.

It's Friday night, and all my friends (actually, my ex-friends. I don't really have friends anymore. And if I do, they're all online ones), are getting drunk at a bar, dancing with a prostitute-slash-exotic dancer, which is basically the same thing, or smoking pot, but inhaling it the wrong way and making the white powder go down their throat. One idiot, Tobi, even swallowed the cocaine thinking it was powdered sugar and put it on his funnel cake. The biggest problem was that I didn't even know he _liked _funnel cake, and here he is downing crack while enjoying a funnel cake. Probably his last one, because he's too scared to eat anything that's white and powdery anymore. Hell, now he's even afraid of snow. But no one cares about Tobi anymore. His Multiple-Personality-Disorder had taken control and now he's gone crazy and thinks that he's an Uchiha who's bent on taking over teh world. But here I am, sitting in my unwashed underwear playing World of Warcraft while my brother is busy loving Miss Haruno Sakura. Again. I'm actually jealous. Really jealous. And I, Mr. Uchiha Itachi, the greatest WoW player ever lived, am never jealous.

I think it's the wrong time to tell you all that I'm having a boner watching my naked brother do Sakura. Especially when all I can see is his back, its muscles protruding…

Whoa.

Wait.

I like boobs and vaginas. Not dicks and balls. It's just that…well, Sakura is a very pretty woman. It's a shame that I don't have X-ray vision.

.

**less than half an hour later…**

.

My life sucks. It officially sucks. Mika found out that I was cheating on her with Billy Anne, which caused both of them to get in a fight, one girl fighting with her WoW equipment and the other throwing potatoes at me through her webcam, telling me how much of a horrible man I was and how she hated me forever and would never ever talk to me again.

Which caused my other thirty-seven or so girlfriends to _also _find out through Skype, FaceBook, Twitter, on of course, WoW. Through hundreds of flames on my Wall, and through texts and whatnot, my life immediately became miserable, along with my dignity. I was no longer fit to be an Uchiha. Might as well pass the good ol' fashioned title down to Sasuke, who's busy banging his ding-dong off.

So as you can now see, I'm girlfriendless. Even the old pedophile left me, which yes, I found out that one of them was actually a sixty-year old man who coaches Gym in the elementary boys' school and lines kids up for Penis-Inspection-Day.

World of Warcraft had no more meaning for me anymore. There was no use playing it. It was like it happened overnight, which it did. I had no more interest in gaming, because really, I think the sex was all I really was there for. Now, I would have to find a new source of entertainment. Something to keep me up all night.

I decided to make my peephole a little bigger.

* * *

**i'm rly sry about everything guys! ik u guys were waiting ofr an update and i didnt get it to you because i have been busy with school and stage crew practice (which is now ovr)! finally! i ahted it a lot lol and im really happy to get all ur nice reviews and everythin! the big 600 *.* wowww i nvr thought this would happen but it did and i'm absolutely euphoric about it! **

**can we get up to 625? i hope you gusy liked this relatively short chapter and thanks to everyone for bringing the prompts and whatnot. i will use them and credit you on them!**

**cheers!**


	34. Footsies

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-four. sakura's pov.  
******FML o34: **Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML"

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today I met Sasuke-kun's dad for the first time. We went to a restaurant and Sasuke kept playing footsie with me under the table. When he left to use the bathroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML.

* * *

**.o34.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**F**_o_o**t**_s_i**e**_s_

_._

"Oh, Sasuke-kun..." I moaned as he kissed my neck gently, his naked body over my own. "I love you..." I whispered.

"Sakura," he said, groaning in pleasure, tossing his head back as I tugged at his hair. "You are mine, forever," he said, his lips back to mine. "You belong to me."

"I do," I agreed. I took his face in my hands and stared into his glossy eyes filled with passion. Then, I leaned in and pressed my mouth against his, my tongue licking his lips until he parted them, while the both of us exchanged saliva together.

He lied me flat down on the mattress and straddled me, holding my body tightly to his. "Rest with me."

Sasuke then flipped us over so that he was now on the bottom and that I was on top. He led my head to his chest and put his hand on my waist, while I listened to his heart beat quickly, his torso rising up and down.

"I love you," he murmured, stroking her hair and wrapping the blanket over the both of us. "I love you, Sakura."

We were in his bed, where we both first made love together for the first time. Being a couple for nearly two years, we fit together so well that we were like elders being married for more than forty years, without the fights. Though the problem was...I'd never met his dad.

Even if his mother, the high-on-crack "teenager" Mikoto, was obsessed with me, and wanted to make me her daughter-in-law as soon as possible, he feared that his father wouldn't give me the same response.

"Do you think he'll like me?" I asked, reading his mind. He looked at me with calm eyes, a smile that he gave only to me, and said, "I'm sure he'll love you."

However, deep in his heart, he feared that it wouldn't be the case. Uchiha Fugaku had very different standards.

.

.

.

In his father's eye, a woman suitable to be an Uchiha had to be tall, with dark hair, and strong-minded, unable to show any emotions.

I am fairly short, but not a midget. I was 5'3 to his 6'5, and had light pink hair the color of cherry blossoms and pink roses, and although I was strong-minded and smart, I was also incredibly emotional, which was one of the parts Sasuke liked about me-it gave him another reason to protect me.

So, basically, having me meet Fugaku was like instant suicide. To help save both our lives, he called his mom.

"Uh, hi, kaa-san," Sasuke said, calling his mother on his cell phone. She shrieked in happiness, making Sasuke hold the phone away from his ear and wince. "Ugh, you're too loud..." he muttered.

"Sasuke-kun! You never call me anymore! I miss you! How's Sakura-chan? Is she there? I know she is, because it's impossible to NOT hear you guys. Let me talk to her!"

For her information, Sasuke had called her four hours ago, because whenever she didn't hear from her son, she immediately freaked and filed an AMBER alert. Therefore, he was required to give her a "hey" every 240 minutes. And he was embarrassed that his mother had heard them having sex...from next door.

"Hi, Mikoto," I said, taking the phone from Sasuke. He could hear his mother squeal and bombard her with questions. "How are you? Are you okay? Pretty as always? Let's have a girl's night out! Tell me, is my son not pleasuring you enough? I told him to take the penis-stimulating pills, but he's like, _Nooo_, I'm big enough, and I said, 'Well, what does Sakura-chan think?' and then he ignored me which makes me think that I gave birth to a son with a small dick. To be honest, when he came out of my vagina that night, I was like, "The ultrasound can't be right, his dick is so small!" but I can obviously see that he's a pretty boy now. Anyway, we need to visit each other more often, seriously. We'll get a pedicure and go to Victoria's Secret to buy pretty lingerie that fits your large bust and wide hips. Oh, and a manicure so that you can sharpen up those acrylic nails. Don't think that I don't see those scratches on his back. Girl, you haven't done _enough. _You need to dig deep in to get maximum pleasure. Oh, and by the way, stop using the condoms. I want a grandchild _now_. Actually, I want ten. From the way you guys do it, I bet we'd have three pairs of triplets already in maybe two or three years."

I blushed, crying out in embarrassment and handing the phone back. Sasuke growled. "Mom, shut the _fuck _up."

"Oh, poo, Sasuke-kun. You're just jealous that your brother has a bigger weewee than you."

Sasuke pushed the end button. He saw me in our bed, holding the pillow over my ears. "Your mother is soooooo embarrassing!" I cried out, her face red. Sasuke had to smirk-after all, I was so cute when she was flustered.

He pressed his hard arousal against my ass.

"Do I pleasure you enough?" he turned me around and flung the pillow on the other side of the room.

My face was now red, and I breathed, "Of...of course."

"Really?"

"You're so big," I said again, giving him the compliments he wanted to hear from me. My eyes trailed down to his throbbing crotch, and I pressed her hand against it, feeling his warmth against me. Rubbing my fingers, I bent my head and took it in my mouth.

"I can't even fit it in my whole mouth," I murmured while licking him. "You are that amazing."

"I know," Sasuke said, half moaning while he said in an arrogant manner. "But it's just for you."

.

.

.

So the plan having his mom come with them to meet his dad didn't really work. She didn't do anything but prove to me that Sasuke indeed had a huge dick, though it was impossible to miss it after one year of making love with him.

But someday soon it was time for them to drop the bomb.

They decided it would be now. So he dressed in his best clothes, which was something like a suit, and he bought a new dress for me, one in scarlet silk. He held my hand, looked at me with comforting eyes, and said, "It's okay, I'm here."

I smiled at him. "I'm not afraid when you're with me."

He gave me another smile. Then, he took me downstairs, where his father was waiting. Fugaku could find any little detail to make our whole lives miserable.

And he did.

"You're late," he said, sitting at the table where both Sasuke and I had once made love on. Luckily we hadn't the night before.

"Yes, I'm sorry," Sasuke said, squeezing my hand tighter. He looked at me, giving a little nod towards his dad.

I got the idea. I gasped, and then made a small bow, "Hello, father Fugaku."

"Dare you call me father, child?" he said, growling. Soon I began to freak out.

"I, uh..."

"Don't stutter at me!"

Sasuke changed the topic. "Let's go to dinner together. I made a reservation."

"It better be good," Fugaku muttered.

I looked up at Sasuke with helpless eyes. "I'm scared."

He squeezed my hand again and gave me a small kiss on my forehead. "Secretly, so am I."

I laughed.

Fugaku glared.

Then I froze.

.

.

.

The waitress led us three to a circular table. I was on the side, Sasuke in the middle, and Fugaku on the other side. The waitress bowed, and gave us menus. Then, she came back with a bottle of wine.

"Sample?"

Sasuke held out his wine glass. "Yes, please." Then, she looked over at me. "Would you like any?"

I opened her lips, ready to say, "Yes," until Fugaku gave a cough. "A woman doesn't drink."

I bit my lip, and said, "No thank you. I don't want any wine."

I stared at Sasuke, my usual smile turning into a frown. "Don't worry," he mouthed. "I'm here." He put his hand under the table and touched my knee, until my own hand was under the table holding his.

I smiled. Sasuke knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. "Thank you."

"Hey, start ordering. I'm hungry," Fugaku said, folding his arms and putting his menu in front of the waitress. I got the first thing on the menu. I didn't even know what it was, but I bet it was good, considering the restaurant was expensive.

Sasuke started to play footsie with me. His foot rubbed under mine. I smiled, playing the game back with him.

Supressing a moan, I bit my lip again and drank my water. "Oh," I stuttered.

Fugaku gave another cough. "Hn."

Huh. He really does take ater his father.

We kept on playing footsie until Sasuke left the table and bent on one knee to whisper in my ear. "Sakura-hime, I'm going to the bathroom. You and tou-san can talk and see if you can be better acquainted."

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

But Sasuke was still with me-I could feel his foot rubbing up against mine, and his leg was against mine.

Ooh. That felt good. I couldn't hold back my moan.

But then I realized something.

Sasuke was in the bathroom. Therefore, the one playing footsie with me wasn't...

I looked at his dad, who was smirking at me.

And then I screamed.

F. M. L.

.

.

.

Sasuke always knew when I was in danger. He had his "protect Sakura" radar on, 24/7. Therefore, he rushed out of the bathroom, thankfully with his pants around his waist (last time was a disaster...) and went to me, holding my hand and saying, "What happened? Who raped you? I'll kill the fucking bastard!"

I held him tight, as if I would, like, _die_. And I would.

"Y-Your dad...he was playing _footsies _with me!" I cried out, while he patted my back.

Sasuke looked over my shoulder at his dad, who was enjoying his caviar that had just come. He then looked at me, and said, "Really?"

"Yeah, yeah...look," I said, holding out my leg. "It's black from the shoe shine he put on."

Then Sasuke looked at me, back at his dad, and then me again. He put 10,000 yen on the table and muttered, "Keep the change." Holding me by my wrist, tugging on my arm and hurting me, we went out, Fugaku raising his eyebrows and then continuing to eat his caviar as if nothing was wrong.

"The fucking douchebag...thinks he can touch my princess," Sasuke muttered, kicking a rock onto the restaurant. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, just permanently scarred me for life. You know, Sasuke-kun, with your psycho dad around...no offense," I added, in case that he _would _get offended. He waved it off. And I continued.

"I don't think we should ever marry," I muttered. Sasuke looked at me with serious eyes; red eyes that he gave me one time when he was worried sick about me and then angry, because I hadn't told him where I was after I left in anger and was nearly raped by one of his drunk friends.

"Sakura." He loomed over me, and pinned me to a wall. I began breathing hard. This wasn't the Sasuke-kun I knew.

"This one occasion isn't enough for you to tell me to stop loving you." He stared at me again and said louder, "Who gives a fuck whether he touched your leg? That doesn't mean that you won't marry me, god damnit!"

I was scared. I trembled under him and slid down onto the ground, holding myself tight. This isn't Sasuke-kun.

He bent down to my level, holding my shoulders. "I'm sorry, Sakura-hime. I didn't want to scare you. But you're overreacting," he said, holding me to him. I clutched onto his shirt.

"B-But..."

"No buts. You will marry me and he will be your father-in-law. As long as I"m around, he will never touch you in any way that you don't want."

"B-But I thought...I thought he hated me!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "That's what I thought, too. Apparently not."

"Hn," a deep voice said, its shadow appearing. Of course, karma made it to be Fugaku, smirking down at us. I squealed, burying my face in Sasuke's chest again. "I don't, in fact."

"W-What?" I said, getting the guts to look up at him. And then back into my lovey-dovey's chest. He was _scary_.

"You looked fun to tease. That's how Sasuke gets it from me. I loved teasing your mother to no extent, playing footsies with _her_ all the time, even in the most serious situations. Oh, my, she really was a funny one. Miss Sakura, I will accept you into our family if you want it to be so. You take exactly after my Mikoto. And," he added, wiggling his eyebrows. "She and I often spy on you while you're in bed."

That did it. I screamed. And then I ran away somewhere. I honeslty have no idea where, but it wasn't very far, because before I knew it, a car hit me. Or rather, I hit the car.

Which was parked, by the way.

.

.

.

I can't tell you how many times I washed my leg with hot water until it was red and raw and sore. But it wasn't clean enough. I had OCD and I needed to get rid of the father-in-law germs.

Oh, and after that occasion, after Sasuke so dramatically picked me up and took care of me, kissing me all the way and helping me change out of my clothes (where Fugaku wasn't in sight), he proposed to me. And it's about time, because I think I missed my period.

Ha! Just joking. But no, when I told that joke to Mikoto, she yelled at me and then punched me in the face. So I was unconscious again for a short period of time.

Anyway.

Our wedding is scheduled for July, on his birthday. A summer wedding, and a gift that I can finally give to him that'll repay all the costs of the ones he'd bought me before.

I'm really excited. It's only February now, but...he he, let's just say I went splurging on clothes. Lingerie, acrylic nails, of course, and some other things, too. Like Vimax. You know, just in case I'm ever "upset" with how my fiance's penis is looking.

I could never really look Fugaku in the face. Since he had to walk me down the aisle, I was afraid of touching him and I begged Itachi to do it. But Sasuke disapproved. His brother had the hots for me, and would probably do worse than a close game of footsie.

I could walk by myself. I'm a big girl now. Tch! As if. I still love coloring books and swinging on the playgrounds in the little basket-seats made for babies (although I'm too big to fit in there. By the way, it's also what she said).

But until then, he and I bought new blinds for _our _bedroom, so that nobody could see our lovemaking in the day...or night (free show? As if, you gotta pay). We also hired a secret spy to see if there were any trackers or video cameras in our room. There were actually twelve, but we got rid of them and put four more locks on the door.

We're very secretive.

Fugaku kept telling me how much I resembled Mikoto. Which, to be honest, was kind of scary and flattering, but, uh, nice to hear it from him anyway. He criticizes people a lot, so I felt pretty good to be on his...non hate list.

I guess it would be a lie to tell you all that us three had a family threesome.

...

Ha! You should've seen your face. You were like, "Whuuut?" and then wiggling your eyebrows and touching yourself. I know you think Uchihacest is hot, but if you want to read more of that, then you're obviously in the wrong Fanfiction category, sweetie.

It's just me and Sasuke.

Only us.

Together.

Forever.

.

_He led me upstairs into our new soundproof, blinded, and non-video camera'd room. My thighs were around his waist and our lips never parted. It was our marriage night and we were going to give each other the love we shared for the rest of our lives._

_He dropped me down onto the bed._

_I yelled. There was something bumpy under there. Sasuke pulled the blanket away._

_There sat Fugaku, half naked, giving me a smirk. _

_"Any room for one more?"_

_Sasuke turned to me. I turned to him._

_We both screamed._

_

* * *

_

**sorry for not updating. iwas relaly busy with an english project..writing a memoir which was pathetic cuz i only filled up like 4 pages.**

**one i was born. two my life was cool. three i'm asian. four i'm done.**

**lol. anyway hoped you liked this. i'm afraid im not ery proud of it but i hope all of u enjoy it nonetheless. you guys know i already hate sasuke with anyone but sakura, but itasasu...is kind of hot. i swear, that's like, the only other sasuke pairing besides sasusaku that's decent. i hate other sasuke pairings!**

**fugaku is a little ooc. but yeah.**

**haha.**


	35. Rehab

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-five. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o35: **"Hello my name is _, and I'm a sex addict." prompt by EmilyEphebiphobia  
**  
note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, my parents decided to send me to rehab because I have a "sex" issue. Apparently I've been diagnosed as a sex addict. Who's to blame? Sakura, of course. But I'm just fulfilling my duties as a man. It's not my fault that she's so cute. FML.

* * *

**.o35.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**R**_e_h**a**_b_

_._

_(dedicated to Emily!)_

I'm sitting around a circle with a group full of idiots. My legs are crossed (despite the fact that everyone says it hurts when guys cross their legs, it doesn't. At least, not for me. And it's not like I don't have a big package or anything. I have a huge one, if I do say so myself. And if you think I'm being biased, ask my girlfriend, Sakura. She'll tell you how huge and juicy I am) and I'm tapping my foot, folding my arms and looking at everyone, trying to see why they came here and what was their reason.

It's kind of like alcoholics anonymous. We share our stories and then people help us. Or group therapy. Talking with other people can make you feel better. Well, it depends. Sometimes I kinda want to keep my life personal. I really don't' need anybody butting into my business. So when the group leader says, "Alright, Sasuke-kun, share your story!" I want to punch them in the face, which is surprisingly _not _my reason for being here. It's because one, I don't want to share my fucking story, thankyouverymuch, and two, don't call me Sasuke-kun.

If your name isn't Haruno Sakura and you are the most beautiful woman God has ever created, then no, don't talk to me. You don't deserve to be in my sight, let alone breathe the same air that I do. Period.

I see a blonde boy who has a necklace full of ramen keychains and a ramen jumpsuit, covered in bright orange and full of stickers (of ramen) and everything ramen related. This boy (Naruto, from what his name tag shows) probably had an eating disorder or something. Of ramen. Of course, he's not fat or anything, but maybe he's just too obsessed. Like me and my tomatoes. But that's also not the reason why I'm here.

Then, on the left of Naruto, there's a fat boy wearing a T-shirt saying, "I beat anorexia." What'd you do? Eat it? Good job, boy, good job. I can see that you're still not having any improvement because you're wolfing down food like it's your last freakin' meal. Really. Where'd you get food anyway? There are no vending machines around here.

Your name's Chouji, right? Good. Chouji. Now I know to stay away from you in case you eat me in my sleep. I may be attractive, but please don't compare me to Prime A Grade Beef. The only one who can eat me is my precious Sakura-hime, who I will get back to as soon as I'm out of this hellhole.

When I look down the aisles, I see a boy in a green jumpsuit, who has "youth" problems (probably hasn't hit puberty yet, that's what), named Lee, another boy who looks like the girl next to him (siblings? cousins? doppelgangers?) with pale eyes and chocolate hair. He's reading books about fate and he has veins next to his eyes that pop out in a really, really freaky way. Seriously. I don't think that's medically healthy. The girl seems to blush everytime she looks at the Naruto boy, and then faints back in her chair. I think that they had to super-glue her ass to the seat so she couldn't get another concussion.

There was also a guy with pineapple hair. He was taking a nap (which was a good idea, but I could NEVER sleep through that racket!) and had a pin saying, "Clouds are more than air particles." Hear, hear. The boy with red hair next to him was munching on cookies like the cookie monster, and carried a huge barrel on his back. Geez, how much does that weigh? There were a lot more people there, too, but I think it would be a huge waste to name them all and whatnot.

The reason I'm in here? Fine, fine, I'll tell my story. Only because I want to get out of here as soon as I can and not have the counselors tell my parents, "Your son has anti-social behavior! Let's get him checked out. Send him to us again for another two weeks and we'll fix him up, the little cheeky cutie!" Then one of the counselors will pinch my ass (male or female, they're both bad if they're not Sakura), and send me off so I can go make passionate love to my beautiful princess before they lock me back up again.

I stood up and cleared my throat. Everyone looked at me. Besides that Hinata-fainting-girl, who was…still unconscious.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and I'm a sex addict."

.

.

.

The truth hurts. I mean, I'm not a sex offender or anything. The only person I have eyes for is…well, you already know. It's no use saying it a million times. My words can't even describe my love, no matter how many I use.

Some people gasped, and the counselor (his name turned out to be Kakashi. Haha, the guy wears a mask and reads porn. Oh my oh my. Maybe _he _should be the one in therapy) looked at me with a raised eye. "It's good to know that Sasuke-kun finally admits it. Now, what do you think we could do to help you?"

Ahh, a Dr. Phil trick. I know how to get around this. I've watched a lot of Celebrity Rehab already.

"Hn. I like who I am."

Kakashi nodded his head and stroked his imaginary beard. "Touche, darling." I cringed. Was this guy weird, or what?

"Now, Sasuke." Kakashi put his book down and leaned on his knees, his hands folded underneath his chin. "Explain your reasons for becoming who you are."

I shrugged. "My girlfriend. She's to blame. She's so beautiful and teasing and her name is literally temptation that I can't help but get a boner every time I see her, or even think about her, even if it's not sexual. I mean, look," I said, pointing to my crotch, which was bulging. I could have sworn that I saw a snake-like pedophile (too old for this group. Sorry, the adult group is over in the next room) lick his lip. He even winked at me .WINKED.

I continued, nonetheless. "I'm just fulfilling my duties as a man. She can't help herself that she was born that way. Like that Lady Gaga song. Not that I think Lady Gaga is attractive. Honestly, I'm a member of the "Is Lady Gaga a man or a woman?" debate on Facebook. You should friend me or follow me on Twitter. I'm really popular and I have over 10,000 fans and followers."

"I've always wondered…" Kakashi said. "Anyway. Tell us about this girlfriend of yours. Is she pretty?"

"Of course. She's gorgeous."

Kakashi nodded and pretended to take notes in his steno pad. "Now describe her to me. Hair color? Eyes? Skin? Lips? Breasts? Hips? Ass? And what about her…" he blushed and giggled like a young schoolboy. Sasuke wanted to choke the man for even thinking about her like that, but prevented himself from doing so.

"She's pretty." Simple terms for a simple man.

"Ah. So tell me, Sasuke. Why does she make you feel sexually unstable?"

Sasuke sighed and thought back to the night before he left to go to rehab. He closed his eyes and gave a small smile to himself. He wanted her so badly right now, he couldn't even control himself…

"She moans my name gently when we make love. Her arms are around my neck and her legs wrap tightly around my waist, my arousal pressing against her womanhood, wanting to get into her warm, sleek passage and explode with desire. I can feel her long, pink locks running down her back when I touch her gently and feel her. I kiss her sweetly, first gentle, and then, if she wants it like I do, harder and harder until we're all tongue and teeth. Her breasts fit perfectly in my large hands, as if they were sculpted for me by Michelangelo. I kiss and lick her soft skin and rub my thumbs over her nipples until they turn hard and pucker with need. And then when I enter her, slowly at first, holy fuck, it's the greatest thing that—"

By this time, Hinata was awake again. But when I said "arousal" I think that totally threw her off. It's a wonder how she could even get through a Sex Ed. "growing up" body quiz. People told me to continue, even Kakashi, but some told me to shut up. Apparently having me be taken by Sakura was upsetting for some people, but hey, once you become Haruno Sakura, I'll think twice about dating you.

And get rid of the snakes. You're scaring me.

.

.

.

"Sasuke-kun?" her voice is quiet through the phone and I miss her so, so much. She whispers my name again, and says, "I miss you."

"I do too, love. Sakura, it's been hell without you."

"When will you come back?" she asked.

I checked behind me and said quieter, "Soon, sweetie. I promise." I was out in the "bathroom" because I had explosive "diarrhea," (you will not tell anybody I said that) and I needed to hear her voice again, or else I don't know what I'd do. Perhaps I'd go crazy. Maybe I'd go insane. In fact, I would probably be dead without her. I need her comfort. I need _her_.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"Me too, sweetheart. I love you too."

Sakura's voice became a little louder. I could hear that she was quivering, and I said, "I'll be home soon. You can count the days. It's only thirteen more."

"That's a lot."

It was a lot. This rehab thing was _killing _me. "To make you feel better, I absolutely _hate _it here. Everyone's an idiot and they're all jealous that such a handsome son-of-a-bitch like me has such a beautiful woman to be with him."

Sakura gave a small laugh. "Really?"

"Would I lie to you?"

She laughed again and said, "Sasuke-kun, come back soon. I'll be waiting for you. You know where."

"I know. I love you," I said quietly, hearing Kakashi call my name.

"I love you too!" she chirped, back to her normal self. I hated how I couldn't be with her in "our time of need" but honestly, well, blame my parents. Okay, maybe they were mad at us for beating them in a "who can get the louder moan" contest, and also the "who could make the mattress creak/make the bedrock" one, too, but I have to say that my dad worked pretty darn well to earn the condom award. But Sakura? She knows how I hate latex, and did me a favor. It's called _birth control_. And since we've both never had STDs, we don't ever have to worry.

I want kids. Now. Now it's weird for you guys to say that, "What does a horny teenage boy want to settle down, especially when he can get all the tits and the ass he can get?" Well, I got what I want already. It's plenty. Her tits are great and her ass is perfect. I could live with her and her alone.

I want to start a family with her. No, I'm not a normal teenage boy. I'm a _man_. And she's a woman. Therefore, we are one.

I can see how you guys don't understand something as stupid is that, but it's okay, because your brains are too doped up on ramen, food, drugs, or alcohol to even know what the hell I'm saying.

I'm way too smart for this group. Really. I think one person in the back is reading their book upside down, and I don't think they're joking.

I can't believe I have thirteen more days of hell to go through. Until then, I'm going to have to think of Sakura in order to get me through this thing. My life officially sucks. I have no cell phone, no computer, and no girlfriend.

Ergo, I am dead.

.

**twelve days later**

.

It's actually kind of sad to be packing up and leaving (I'd never thought I'd say that, ever) but it's the truth. I always tell the truth because Sasuke is a good boy.

Anyway.

The Naruto guy wasn't actually that bad. I mean, sure, it was annoying when you first had to bunk with him, because he could _not _stop snoring and left his room in a total mess. I'm a neurotic clean freak, so obviously, seeing cockroaches scared the fuck out of me.

But he wasn't bad. In fact, he was a pretty cool guy. And that's a compliment when it comes from me.

The snake-man was found trying to creep into my bedroom at night, but I got rid of him. He's sent to another mental asylum for pedophiles, aka, _jail_. I'm glad. Ever since he came into my room, I needed to hold something while I slept (besides Sakura). That's where my custom-made Sakura plushie came into place.

The fate guy was pretty cool, too. His name was Neji and surprisingly, he wasn't blind (like I thought he was). He was like a superhero and could see through things (X-ray vision, which was apparently genetic in his line) and could prove to you that in fact, my dick is huge. Now you don't have only Sakura's opinion, but his as well.

Don't worry, I'm not gay. It's his own fault that he could see through my skin-tight jeans, be a teenage dream tonight.

Oh, did I mention that we both have an obsession with not only Lady Gaga but also Katy Perry? He told me secretly, "Babe, you're a firework," and I was like, "Uh, thanks." I also told him that I kissed a girl and that I liked it, but he already knew that from what I explained about my wet dreams. He's like a freaking fortune teller.

Fate, destiny, future. What's the difference? They all tie together. So maybe we'll be together as friends someday out of here. Even though we're both "emo" and prep and whatever, we're hot and we're cold, we're yes and we're no, we're in and we're out, we're up and we're down…

But I'm always right, he's black and I'm white (not to be racist or whatever, but he's on the dark side), we fight, we kick ass, we laugh, and then gag…

Katy Perry palooza. He's also a maker of that on FaceBook, and I'm following him on Twitter, too. We're really competitive, and I have 12,000 followers now while he only has 9,000. Ha. Suck that, Hyuuga.

Oh, and, please tell your cousin to be a little quieter when she's sucking Naruto dry. Really. I know that they both like oranges, but it's a little too loud for my own good. I can't sleep. It's terrible.

But right now, I'm going to go home and enjoy my life with my parents, who have probably improved on their bed skills, and Sakura, my wife-to-be. My diploma is in my hands, and I feel like I've graduated, wearing the robe and the square hats. It reads proudly,

**Congratulations**

**Uchiha Sasuke: EX Sex Addict**

Aa, freedom.

.

.

.

Sakura jumped me (not sexually, but we'll get to that part later) and hugged me tight, giving me kisses everywhere. Being away from her longer made me realize how much she actually meant to me, and I loved her more than anything else at that moment.

She smelled sweeter than sweet and was lovelier than…love. Her arms were around my neck and she was nearly crying when I came home. I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"I told you it was quick."

"Did you fuck any other girls while you were there?" she said, which was her first question. My eyes widened, and I wanted to laugh at her stupidity.

"No, of course not. You're the only one worthy of the Uchiha family jewels." Sakura laughed nervously, and said, "Well, I _am _amazing…"

She looked at my diploma, which I was actually really proud of, and ripped it. I wanted to stop her, but instead, she gave it back to me. It now read:

**Congratulations**

**Uchiha Sasuke: Sex Addict**

I could live with that. But by the time I could piece things together, we were on the floor and she was on top of me, pinning me to the ground while she gave me this mischievous smirk that turned me on more than was necessary.

"Heh," I said, smirking. I liked this. Screw rehab. It did nothing but hold me back.

By the time I could process anything, her hands were creeping under my shirt and lifting it to my shoulder blades while she ran her long fingers on my chest. The other hand undid my pants and fondled me through my boxers, and I moaned while I gently tugged at her hair.

"I love you," she said, kissing my neck softly as I held her tight. "It's been terrible and lonely without you."

I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her how much she meant to me, but suddenly, I heard a door slam open. (Is that possible? Slamming a door open? I guess)…

"Uchiha Sasuke, didn't you learn anything from that center?"

Oh no. I was in deep shit now.

Instead, my mom called back, "You apparently haven't been brushing up your skills. I mean, your father and I have accomplished over 20 positions. Let's see you beat that!"

"We definitely can," Sakura murmured into my ear as she dragged her head down to my crotch. I moaned and wanted to say something back to my mom, but I let Sakura take her pleasure first.

I mean, she wasn't the captain on the cheersquad for nothing. In geek-speak, it translates to: She was freakin' flexible. Like, wow.

But I let that go. My parents could win that for the time being. But the next time, both of us will show you all how awesome we are. Naked Twister does wonders in building my own flexibility.

In fact, we can fit in places normal people can never dare to reach. Which, yes, was intended to be a "that's what she said" joke.

Get it? Got it? Good.

Because Sakura's sun-kissed skin's so hot, it'll melt your popsicle, oh whoa oh whoa…

* * *

**happy birthday to cait! (veroxion) ilysfm girlll. 3.15.11**

**sorry ofr the late update. i you read my latest chapter of scar tisuse you'll understand haha. i hoped you liked it and thanks to emily for the prompt! please submit yours through either PM or review and i'll make sre it gets ups asap!**

**review please, tank you so much for 650 *.* i love u!**


	36. Seven Things

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-six. third person.  
******FML o36: **"Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I proceed to go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around and turns out he was actually a very angry midget. FML"  
**  
note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura was on her supermarket shift. She saw a little boy who was trying to reach for cereal on the top shelf, so, with her kind heart, she asked him if he knew where his mommy was. Instead, she saw a very pissed off midget. FML.

* * *

**.o36.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**S**_e_v**e**_n _**T**_h_i**n**_g_s

_._

If you asked Haruno Sakura how her day was, she'd tell you that it was probably one of the worst that she'd ever experienced.

Why?

Well, there were a lot of reasons. First, she got her period, second, she was in a crappy mood (because of number one), third, she lost her favorite pair of jeans, fourth, juice spilled on her new white blouse, and fifth, she was working. At the local supermarket. Again. Stupid shifts…

She doesn't want to mention the sixth, but here it is, anyway.

Sakura had always been a kind soul. Well, for most of the time—she was always the one who loved to get in fights and beat people up whenever they were mean to her. So, after hours and hours of anger management and stress balls, Sakura finally thought that she could get rid of her fighting streak and start afresh. With a kind soul. Volunteering and what not, and 500 hours of community service.

Of course, the elderly people always stared at her with big eyes, pointing at her with their canes and whispering, "She's a rebel, look at her hair. Pink? Really? Why else would she be doing 500 hours of community service if she didn't do something wrong?"

Sakura always felt her fists clench, but she was a good girl, as Tobi, her guidance counselor taught her. She would continue to massage old women's fungus feet and give old men baths, helping them undress and get in the tub…

She obviously realized that it wasn't the job for her.

So, she went back to her old one: afternoon and evening shifts at the local supermarket. It wasn't anything big—just a regular supermarket to buy food and snacks, like Costco…but not as big, of course.

She only had bad memories of the place; cleaning up diaper-poop in the bathroom, swabbing toilets, helping little kids find their parents, sweep food fights, prevent shoplifting, scrub vomit…

But, she realized, after the sixth thing, her life was full of embarrassment and shame. In fact, she probably dishonored her family so much that she would do the samurai suicide and drag her intestines out piece by piece. To some people, it wasn't that bad of a thing, but to Haruno Sakura…

The sixth was the worst.

And after that situation, Sakura vowed never again to ever, ever, ever ask somebody if they needed help. Ever.

The reason being that a little fat midget punched her in the face and nearly knocked out one of her beautiful teeth that two years of braces had done to straighten. So if that little punk thinks that he can get away with it, he is so wrong.

Which is also partially the reason that Sakura was sitting in a police car with her hands cuffed, because of "starting a ruckus" and also "domestic abuse."

Yup, her day was going splendidly well.

.

.

.

It would be kind of cliché to say that "it all happened on a certain day, where the sun was shining and the birds were singing and everything was going whoop-de-freakin'-amazing." Of course, nobody says that unless they're high or Lee, so that was out of the question. Life pretty much sucked in general and there was nothing that she could do to make her day better.

But honestly, it did start out as a decent enough day, what with having all those five and soon-to-be six things happening to her. Even though it was a Saturday afternoon, and she'd rather spend her time tanning or shopping, she warily went to work, knowing that she was going to hate her life and that something bad was gonna happen. It was like the prologue of Romeo and Juliet, where they give a HUGE spoiler alert telling you that both of them are gonna die anyway and no matter how much you cry they won't come back to life.

Well, she didn't die, but she'd rather _have _died than be stuck in a police car with a huge crowd of people around her. Ugh.

But of course, Sakura didn't know that it was going to happen. She took her shift, swiped her card in one of those "I'm here!" machines that record your time, put on her uniform, and, as the supermarket "newbie," said in the front of the automatic doors, "Hi, uh, could you take a look at this please? Uh, yes ma'am. No, I'm not tricking you. Could you please—hey, hey! Get back here! I wasn't done talking to you!"

The reason that she was promoted wasn't because she was simply amazing at her job, which, to be honest, she was, but it was also because that people were even _more _scared to come into the market than they were before.

Oh what a shame. Don't call my name; don't call my name, Alejandro…

.

.

.

_"And I'm like, fuck you-u-u!" _

Because of this, Sakura, too, got promoted. She couldn't handle the market's soundtrack because, as a girl, she loved to perform karaoke in front of everybody, which included English songs. And, of course, her English wasn't that great, so she was pretty screwed. Even the shoppers, whose English was probably worse than hers, may have not known what the hell she was saying, but it was obviously really, really bad considering that the speakers were squeaking loudly, causing some people to shriek and bend over in pain.

Ha, bend over. Like Beckham.

Anyway, Sakura didn't understand why she would be promoted for something she sucked at. I mean, it was nice, but…she was obviously sucking badly at her job and would need to improve her skills if she ever wanted to be the manager, which, of course, she wouldn't.

She just wanted to go home and sleep. _Seven a.m., wakin' up in the morning…_

However, Inner Sakura said something different. _SEVEN A.M., TOO EARLY, BACK TO BED—_

Ah-ha! So that's how it went!

.

.

.

Let's have a little time skip. Not like 17 Again, where Zac Efron goes back into his past self and just tries to win back his wife, who is probably like 20 years older than him, and his daughter's hitting on him at the same time which is really, really, _really _weird.

No, but time skip into a couple hours, at around 4:00. _STAY UP TIL FOUR IN THE MORNIN, AND THE TEARS ARE POURIN'—_

Sakura really, really missed her old karaoke job. But, she thought. It was at least better than scrubbing toilets and cleaning up vomit all day. She was just so good at singing, it was a shame that no one appreciated her mad skizzles.

.

.

.

"Haruno, get off your lazy ass and go to work!" her manager said to her, while she turned off her iTouch and placed it into her pocket.

"Fine, fine…" she muttered. There was nothing to do anyway. She was getting paid to lay around, and that was totally fine with her. She was about to become really angry, until she remembered what Tobi told her.

"Breathe in, breathe out. Good, Sakura-chan. Now, feel the breath fill up your lungs, and then slowly, led it all out through your nose. Out. Aah…"

Sakura didn't want this kind of training. She wanted the punch the wall and knock down everything like dominoes, watching people marvel at her strength while she ate her spinach and got muscles like Popeye.

"Sakura-chan, we have to help the people out there. Help them! There are people out there who NEED OUR HELP! And we have to be the ones who help them. Helping!"

She knew that if she didn't do anything, she would have to go back to therapy. It wasn't that Tobi was weird, (well, he kind of was), but she'd rather do something else with her time. Besides, Tobi kind of reminded her of a little midget, because he was so tiny and so cute. She loved how he always ate lollipos and offered her some. He was such a good boy and a little man.

Spotting a little boy jumping up onto the top shelf for the cereal, obviously needing some help, Sakura went up to him. She asked him the first question—"Are you lost? Does your mommy know where you are?"

It was a bad time that the little boy got the cereal, because he turned around and smacked her in the face with it. While she was on the ground, he stepped on her and kept hitting her with the cereal box. Now, Sakura was in a certain situation and hated her life pretty much. She didn't even do anything to the poor kid!

But then, when she looked up, she saw—not a little boy—but a little _man_, a midget, hitting her in her beautiful face and her mouth with a Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Sakura winced as she tried to pry the thing off her.

Screw anger management.

She punched him square in the jaw, watching him fall back dramatically into the air and lie flat on his back. Sakura rolled up her sleeves and growled.

"You little punk."

By then, there was a crowd of bystanders around the two, and the little man did what he could to make people pity him instead of seeming like a pussy.

He cried. In front of everyone. Bawling like a little baby.

Of course, everyone looked at Sakura with menacing eyes. She was about to escape until the handcuffs were on her, leading her out.

"Haruno Sakura, you have been charged with domestic abuse and starting a ruckus. I'm going to have to place you under arrest."

_And I'm like, fuck you…_

.

.

.

Sakura had gotten enough of the interrogationing. It was too long and she was really hungry, and to be honest, it was Tobi's fault in the first place. If he hadn't recommended it, and if she hadn't been such a kind soul, none of this could have happened and she could jerk off (well, the other way) to her Playgirl app on her iTouch.

Suddenly, a strange but really, really, insanely attractive man came up to her with a face like, "OMG he's so cute, but I like that hard-to-get look on him." To be honest, he was even hotter than the boy on Playgirl and she wanted him in her pants, now.

"Hey," he said. Sakura wanted to melt. His voice was so attractive, too!

"Uh, hi…" Sakura felt stupid and underdressed. her hair was a mess, she had a giant bruise on her face, her hands were still handcuffed, and there was a spot on the back of her knee that she really needed to itch, too.

It seemed very likely that the heavens were punishing her because, after all, she was so damn amazing. And plus, she could have been a boxer. Did you see how her punch sent that little punk flying through the air? It was like, woosh…

"I'm Sasuke."

Sakura felt her brain melt and tried to get her thoughts straight. "Uh, I'm, uh…Sakura."

He raised an eyebrow. A perfectly, thin, trimmed eyebrow…

"You don't seem so sure."

Sakura was nearly drooling, but she knew that if she did she wouldn't be able to wipe it away. So she held her saliva in her mouth in hopes that soon, they would exchange it, and said, "No, I'm Sakura. Haruno Sakura. Of the Haruno family. You know, on the west side of town. The 'hood…' like, the bad part. Next to the cupcake shop."

Talking too much wasn't necessarily good either. Now she felt stupid. Again.

At least she had a sucker punch! Which, by the way, was a movie that she so desperately wanted to see. With him, perhaps?

"Cool," he said, his voice suave. He looked like he was bored, but his voice and eyes said otherwise. He stared at her with great intensity and with such a passionate fire that she was really going to faint from the smoldering hotness. She was like, ashes.

"Hey," he said, out of the blue. He interrupted the awkward silence between them and she was grateful for it. "I'm sorry for my, er…cousin. He has MPD. You know what that is, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well…" Sasuke said, squirming. He was becoming nervous? Really? Wow, what a shocker…he seemed so…amazingful and stuff that it was probably impossible for him to be not Sasuke.

"My cousin," he continued. "His name is Madara, but he refers to himself as 'Tobi' during his high days. He's kind of bipolar, but not really…I mean, he's about 25, and an anger management counselor as Tobi, but other times when he's mad he takes off his orange mask and says that he's Madara. To be honest, I don't know which is which until he punches me in the jaw. Which, by the way, I hope he didn't hurt you," Sasuke said.

Sakura was drooling now, not only because of his beauty but also because…Tobi was the little man who hit her? Really? Tobi with the lollipops? Madara with the Cinnamon Toast Crunch? It didn't make sense…

"No? That's good. Anyway, I'll pay for any damage that he caused and I've already told the police the story. They're letting you out now. I really apologize for anything that happened, and I hope you can forgive my dysfunctional family."

Sakura kept drooling. She thought that there was a song to settle this kind of mood, but instead, she just nodded her head. "Uh-huh…"

He went closer to her and she blushed. Tipping up her head, he brushed his thumb against the side of her mouth. "You got a little somethin' somethin' here."

Aa! He wiped her mouth! His precious hand was against her lips…

Sakura felt herself fall, but his arms caught her. Huh. The handcuffs were off. Looking up at his eyes, she nearly melted again, and felt like _it's a love story, baby just say yes!_

Yup, that was the one she was looking for.

"I'll take you home. You live on the west side of town, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Her brain was still mush and then going to overfreeze. Wahh. How could someone so amazing acknowledge her? Oh yeah, because she was amazing, too. Those amazing people have to stick together, especially if they're both drop-dead gorgeous.

He led her to his car and buckled her in. His hand brushed over her breast and she sighed in pleasure. Noticing her behavior, she stopped and looked away from him while he got into the driver's seat.

"So, Tobi told me that you're a patient of his."

"Yeah…but I thought that it was unethical for doctors to share information?"

"Mm…I have a few ways."

Sakura frowned for a second, before she said, "Wait, were you the President Pedobear that friended me on FaceBook?"

Sasuke looked away, not saying anything. His blush made it obvious, that indeed, he had stalked her for quite some time.

"Aha!"

"Hn…" he muttered. "Anyway, you seem like a nice girl. I don't understand why they would lock you up."

"It's probably because I'm so beautiful." She flipped her hair and sighed again. "Aa, I'm like the female Narcissus…"

"You are very beautiful," Sasuke mentioned. She blushed, not expecting this kind or response. "Uh, thanks."

They kept driving for a while, until Sasuke stopped at, of course, the west side of town. She left the door, fingering her pocket for her keys and her iTouch. Sasuke gave her a small salute, before she said, "Hey, do you want to come in?"

Sasuke thought for a moment, and then locked his door, walking towards her as she put the key in the hole. (That's not what she said—in fact, she _did _it)

He stepped into her kitchen and looked at the place. Kind of messy, girly, and…all over the place? It smelled like her. And perfume.

"Do you want something to drink? Water? Soda? Tea?"

"Tea," he replied, sitting down on the couch and making himself comfortable. He crossed his legs and folded his arms while Sakura came towards him with two cups of tea.

"Here you go…it's a little hot, so be careful."

Sasuke gave her a nod of thanks and sipped slowly. Sakura sat next to him, feeling that it was awkward, that he could be a serial killer but she invited him in for some reason, and that she knew she was probably gonna get raped and killed because she let a Ted Bundy/playgirl centerfold in.

"You have a nice place."

"Do you say that to all your victims before you kill them?" Sakura screamed, ready to throw hot tea on his face.

"What? No…what the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke asked. He placed his teacup down and touched her arm gently. Sakura shrieked, before he dragged her onto his lap.

"FIRE!" she screamed, hoping somebody would help. He shushed her silently and let her sit up on his knee while he grabbed her wrists, making her face him.

"Chill out. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to."

Sakura knew that she was going to die. She was going to fucking die and it was all her fault and President Pedobear was also a rapist that had just escaped from jail on Friday, singing Rebecca Black at full volume, and wondering which seat to take in his newly stolen car.

"Hey, hey…don't be mad." He held her face gingerly in his hand and watched her stare at him with confused eyes full of desire and fright. "It's okay. I just want to stay like this for a bit."

Sakura began to relax as she felt more and more comfortable in his grasp. Then, she put her head on his chest and felt him take big, deep breaths.

"I've only known you through FaceBook, but to be honest, it's like I've known you forever."

"I've only known you for about five hours, but still, it's like Romeo and Juliet, except none of us die. Now, when are you going to serenade me from the balcony?"

"Haha, very funny," he muttered into her shoulder, biting the sensitive part of her neck. "Can I kiss you?" he asked.

Sakura was pretty sure there was a song for that, too, but she didn't know what it was at the moment. Instead, she felt Sasuke's lips on hers and her arms around his neck, kissing him back. She was lying down on the sofa and he was on top of her, kissing her sweetly and touching her gently and tenderly, only above the waist.

"Aa…Sasuke…"

"That's right, love."

He was such a good kisser that she wanted more and more of him. More…down there.

"No," he murmured, dragging her hand away. "I don't want this right now." Really? A guy not wanting sex? Wow, he was her Prince Charming, definitely. She would marry him then and there.

She ignored his comment and kept on kissing him, pulling apart only for breath. Staring at his fiery eyes and long bangs drooping down, she kissed him again, until she felt a lighter weight on her. He had gotten up and combed his hair with his hand.

"You're leaving?"

Sasuke looked at her with sorry eyes. "I have to go pick up Madara from the police station."

"Why didn't you get him when you picked me up?"

"Because…" Sasuke smirked. He kissed her forehead and put a strip of paper in her hands. "The pedobear wanted some alone time with his little girl."

Rubbing her hair, he chuckled softly before taking his shoes and going out the door. "I'll see you soon. If you forget to contact me, I'll call you. Remember, dearest Sakura—I don't think it's safe to put your phone number on FaceBook."

He shut the door and she heard the car engine start and drive away. Sakura's lips were swollen and she felt like she was in heaven.

On the piece of paper, his number stated; _078-555-7230. Love from your dearest Sasuke-kun._

_P.S. Little girl, would you like to come to my house for some lollipops?_

She'd like that very much indeed.

Oh, and she remembered the song name she was trying to think of. KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!

.

.

.

_"So, Hinata-chan, I understand that you're usually a very gentle woman. Could you explain why you decided to beat up your boyfriend?"_

_"He left out his old ramen bowls and a cockroach came out!" _

_"Yes, yes…could you elaborate on that?"_

_"No."_

_"Well, Tobi thinks that you, Hinata-chan, are a bad girl." He lifted up his mask to suck on a grape lollipop. "What you need to do is 500 hours of community service. The elders will see you in a little bit."_


	37. Boyfriend Material

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-seven. sakura's pov.  
******FML o37: **Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play his XBOX360 for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was bedridden from the flu. I asked my boyfriend to make me some soup. He said, "One sec, let me finish beating Naruto's ass in CoD," and continued to play. Starving, I decided to make it myself. When I ate, he paused and said, "You didn't make me any?" FML.

* * *

**.o37.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**B**_o_y**f**_r_i**e**_n_d **M**_a_t**e**_r_i**a**_l_

_._

So, I don't know _what _exactly happened, but it just happened. You know, nature runs its course and stuff. And so does life. They're on the little relay run at the track, in their short shorts and sports bra (well, at least Mother Nature is).

Yeah. I got the flu. (But not my period—that was a little while ago). I mean, it's not just a flu like, "Blah, I feel like crap, better go take a day off and lie down." It's more like, "Holy shit, are you okay? You're running a fever, and your face is red, and you're sweating, and throwing up all over my brand new carpet…" kind of flu. I'm that sick.

My boyfriend is supposed to be taking care of me right now, but obviously his girlfriend isn't the first priority on his mind. I mean, I know I'm up there somewhere, but apparently I'm not the number one thing, according to his actions. He's sitting there with his furry hood up, even though it's literally 80 degrees outside, and his dog Akamaru is sitting by him. Aka keeps barking because he's hungry, but my sweet darling Kiba won't get up to feed him, nor me. I'm starving right now, by the way.

May I ask why men are so obsessed with Call of Duty? I mean, seriously. It's just shooting games nonstop. Halo, CoD, everything else…blood and guts and gore. Seriously. Do guys like that stuff? Is it pleasing to watch someone's head blow up? It's making me even sicker than I should be, and I can't stand to look at it.

I'm not very brave, in fact. I hate watching horror movies and I freak out at the littlest sight of blood. Which is a problem, because when I have my period, I have to stick a tampon up there as soon as possible before I go into shock and faint.

Anyway, back to me.

My ears are ringing from Akamaru's nonstop barking, Kiba's "shut up! shut up!", and my groaning. I'm freakin' hungry (it's around noon and I haven't eaten breakfast. Well, I have, but I threw it all back up in my little vomit-bucket), and I swear, anything solid that I eat will just go up like…upchuck.

I need soup. Water won't do me any good. I don't want orange juice and I don't like tea. Yes, I'm stubborn, but I'm also feeling like I'm going to die. I'm under four down blankets, sweating and shivering at the same time, and my head hurts. I feel dizzy and I puked my Tylenol back up, too.

"Kiba," I moaned. I could tell he was turned on, because, well…I'm just that sexy. Anyway. "I want some soup."

He didn't listen to me. He bit his tongue and kept playing his game, muttering halfway, "One sec, sweetheart, I need to—damn it!—let me just finish…fuck! wait, I have to beat Naruto's ass in CoD—" he muttered more profanities and blocked the whole world off. I groaned. I was really, really hungry, and I couldn't get up to get some soup for myself.

What else was there to do?

So, I waited for a little while. Obviously, that was the wrong choice because he didn't get off his lazy ass ever. Seriously. I think my carpet has a Kiba butt-print on it, and forever will have one.

I reached for my phone on the dresser (WILLPOWER!) and pressed 2, my speed dial. I heard the phone ring twice before Sasuke's suave voice (smooth as melting chocolate, flowing like river water…) say, "Sakura?" Tch, he already knew it was me. We were like, best buddies. Of course, I was always the one to call him.

"Ughhh." I groaned into the phone (making sure that Kiba heard, but I know that he didn't) and rolled over onto my stomach. "I'm sick."

His voice became filled with worry. Oh, how I love my dear Sasuke-kun. He's so sweet. Sweeter than Kiba is right now! "Sakura? What's wrong? Are you not feeling well? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

He kept badgering me with questions and honestly, I felt kind of flattered. At least _somebody _paid attention to me, even if we weren't dating. (But hey, friends rock, right?) It was also kind of scary. I mean, he did this _all the time_. It was almost near stalker-level. Nah, but I still loved my dear Saucycakes. In fact, I had a crush on him for a little while when I was younger. I dated Kiba to (try and) get over it. But Sasuke's still really, really hot.

"Flu," I mumbled. Inwardly, I was confused at myself. I could talk to myself perfectly like I normally do and act as if nothing's wrong, but when I actually _do _need to talk, it comes out all garbled, like "Fwoug."

"I'll be there in an hour," Sasuke said, ready to hang up the phone. I moaned. "No, no. Don't waste your time. Kiba," I stressed the word, glaring at the back of his coat, which he could have given to me (even though it smells like dog) "Is taking _good _care of me." Could he hear it? Maybe I wasn't loud enough. He was still in his box. Or more like _cage_.

"Shut up and stay still. Drink lots of fluids. Make sure he makes you something to eat."

"Yup."

At least Sasuke remembered.

I hung up the phone and sighed. "Kiba, darling, some soup now, please?"

"Yeah, babe, just give me a second—"

Screw this. I was hungry beyond belief and I was _not _going to wait any longer. Does he want me to die of starvation or something? What a jerk.

So I climbed out of bed (well, I really fell down, but let's just say that I rolled, did a James Bond flip, and stuck the landing), crawled towards the kitchen (with the gun in my hand in front of me…), and found a can of soup, opening it with the desired can opener (and I shoot my enemy—bang bang!). Mission accomplished.

To be honest, my accomplishment was so great that I can hear the Final Fantasy victory song in the background. Sakura, one. Flu, one. Tiebreak me now, bitch.

.

.

.

With a lot of effort, I finally got the soup into a bowl, heated. I was pretty surprised that it didn't fall on my arm and burn me, but hey, I'm a freakin' ninja. We ninjas have mad skills that all you MUGGLES are jealous of.

Ninja, wizard, what's the difference—they're both hot.

Anyway, I get the spoon, get my gun off the floor, and crawl back towards the hideout, making sure Osama Bin Laden doesn't catch me. (Because I know he's there. He's hiding and he's searching for me. He's not actually dead, because we have to beat each other in a tennis match first before I kill him. HE'S CLIMBIN' IN MY WINDOWS JUST LIKE PETER PAN).

When I get back, Kiba's looking at me weird. Akamaru finally stopped barking (he wore himself out to sleep), and Kiba just stares at my sick face, then at my boobs, and then my soup, and back to my boobs. (Which are also amazing. You hear the rumors that I'm flat? Well I'm not! I bind them back so they don't get in the way. Ino has got nothing on these).

"You didn't make _me _any soup?" was all he said. Heck, he even paused _the game _to say that. THE GAME. Which, by the way, both you and I lost, because thinking about the game or even saying it means that you automatically lose the game.

But still.

"Fuck you."

Sakura, one. Flu, two.

.

.

.

I was really, really, _really _pissed. You would be too. You beg your boyfriend to make you soup and then you decide to make it for yourself. Okay, yeah, sure. But then you come back, and he utters the forbidden words (I can't say it or else I'll lose), and then says, "You didn't make _me _any soup?" as if he were the most important person on the planet. Which he's not. According to statistics, it's probably now William and Kate, celebrating their after marriage in the sweet presence of British people with bad teeth, drinking Earl Grey tea.

With their pinky up, of course.

Kiba looks at me weird, as if nothing's wrong and he didn't know what the fuck he was doing. But he knows. The guilt will eat him up someday, and he'll regret being a jerk to me because I'm going to grow up and live in a big mansion, sipping apple wine and having somebody do my nails while fanning me with a palm leaf branch. And him? He's going to be living in a cardboard box next to me and, when he gets sick from the rain and catches the flu, I'm going to be the one playing games and watching him share a soup with Aka.

Then again, maybe I should get him a doghouse. After all, he's a bitch and so is Aka. Well, they're actually SOBs, but that's close enough. They're dogs. And…yeah, that's about it.

But his sister's a bitch.

Back to reality.

"I _was _going to make you some," he said. "After I was done." Pshh, I knew that he was lying. I'm a freakin' lie detector. I can tell when somebody is lying or not, because honestly, I'm that awesome.

No, I actually took a course in psychology, but let's just stick to the "Sakura is awesome and you know it" theory.

I gave him another look and slurped down my soup. Apparently, Akamaru smelled chicken noodle and woke up, attacking me (he was pretty big now. Back then, he was only a little tiny puppy, still peeing on my new clothes) and making the soup drip down my shirt, into my new bra (and I was wearing white that day…) and all over the carpet. He kept licking me (no, it's not sexy—it's just gross). It was terrible. I was covered in soup and dog saliva and I was still sick.

"Agh!" I yelled, trying to push Akamaru off. But boy, he sure was heavy.

Then, someone knocked the door. I was pretty sure it was Sasuke (although it had only been 57 minutes, not 60), but I couldn't tell. Maybe it was child services coming to save me? Or ghostbusters? After all, who you gonna call?

Yeah, it was Sasuke. He let himself in (because he knows where I hide my spare: under the rug. He he, I'm too short to reach the top of the door frame) and stared at the giant dog licking my boob area and Kiba who was licking his lips.

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. Then, he got mad.

"Get out," he said, pointing at Kiba. "Get out!"

Kiba rolled his eyes and pulled me up by the arm. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Whatever. See you later, sweetie. Get well." He re-leashed Akamaru and dragged him out the door, giving Sasuke a pat on the shoulder. "You better not fool around with her," he joked.

And you know what else I realized?

"Hey, Kiba?"

He turned around. "Hm?"

"We're over."

It should've hurt me and him, but it didn't. He shrugged, said, "Okay," and left. I didn't really care either, to be honest. But apparently, Sasuke did. In fact, I think he was getting the swiss army knife out of his pocket…

"Sasuke—put that away! No, don't do anything rash…"

"That _son of a bitch_."

I sighed and felt my head become dizzy again. I was hungry, and my head hurt.

I don't know if I've ever noticed this before, but when I'm woozy and my vision is like I took shrooms or something, Sasuke looks really, really, _really _hot. I mean, it's like—if he took off his shirt and his pants and was with me in my bed, sharing body heat, I would literally explode.

Sasuke helped me up onto the bed. My clothes were wet and he was blushing, looking away from me. I realized that my bra was showing through my white shirt. Oh me oh my.

"I'll make you some more soup."

Would it be a bad time to say that his boner was up against my knee? Or maybe that was just a cucumber. I don't know.

.

.

.

I was being spooned. No, seriously, I mean, Sasuke was feeding me soup with a spoon. What did you think I meant?

Oh you dirty little bastard.

"Say 'ah,'" he muttered, like a professional doctor would do. Hm, would he grow up to go in the medical career? I was still thinking porn star, but doctors are hot, too.

"Ahh!"

I gave him a big smile as he sighed, wiping soup off the corners of my mouth. "You're so messy," he muttered, looking at my piles of clothes and how dirty everything was.

I stuck my tongue out at him and opened my mouth again.

He continued to feed me my soup, and helped me take my medicine. Then, he held me by the wrist and said, "Can you change out of those clothes? You'll get sick."

He was blushing again. And the cucumber came back. Or did he steal a banana from my kitchen? I don't know. I mean, if he wanted some fruit he could've just taken it. He didn't have to be so awkward about it.

"I, uh…need your help." It wasn't that awkward, actually. I mean, we've been best friends forever since diapers and have seen each other half-naked a lot. Well, I've seen him half-naked a lot. Him to me? Not so much, but still a couple of times.

Sasuke turned bright red and muttered under his breath. Then, he carried me to the bathroom and I made myself comfortable on top of the sink.

.

.

.

"Lift up your arms," he said, refusing to look at me. Was it that embarrassing for him? If it was, I just wanted to have him continue _just because _his expression was hilarious. He then grabbed the ends of my shirt and rolled them up, watching my bra uncover. He was so embarrassed that he cursed and turned away. I frowned, and used my willpower (WILLPOWER TIMES TWO!) again to lift it up. Obviously, he was looking pretty sick, since he was on the edge of the bathtub with his head in his hands, shaking them. The banana was back.

"Slacker," I muttered. I took of my shorts so that I was in my bra and panties. He looked up, gulped, turned even redder, and looked back down into his hands again. I frowned.

"Sasuke-kunnn. I need your help."

"I—I can't." It was so funny seeing him like it. I know, I was being a bitch, but I'd give anything to see it every day. Cool, calm, and collected Sasuke ain't so awesome anymore.

Then, he comes up to me and puts his hands on either side of me, staring straight into my eyes. They're cloudy and kind of grayish and full of…desire, something that I've never seen before. His blush is back but it's not as bright. Just a small tint of pink, the shade of my hair.

"Sakura…"

He has that deep, husky voice again. Aa, I can feel my panties becoming wet. Yeah, that's gross, but it's just that erotic.

"Would you believe me if I said that I wanted you?" Wow, so much for being a lie detector. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

Oh, I should probably mention that today was April Fool's day. So now, I was _really _confused. Plus, the flu thing didn't help, either.

Sakura, one. Flu, three.

.

.

.

"Uhm, Sasuke-kun…what are you doing?" I asked as I turned my head away from him. Now _I _was the one blushing (which wasn't supposed to be that way, because I was supposed to be in charge of the make-fun-of-Sasuke club).

I groaned out in half pain, half pleasure as his lips met the really sensitive part of my neck that Kiba used to nip at. Only now, it was much more pleasing and not as dog-drooly.

"Mm." His tongue was licking the soft part of my skin and for some reason, I was grabbing his hair. Like, my hands were little entangled in his gorgeous, raven locks.

It's mean to take advantage of a woman when she's drunk or sick as crap, but whatever. I mean, I actually really _like _Sasuke. And I still had some sense in me. I wanted this. I wanted _him_.

Fuck, I would actually _die _without him.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked as he pulled apart. Apparently, my moans sound like groaning pain, so he got the wrong idea. But it's not. I like it so, so much.

"Kiss me," I begged. I brought his forehead to mine and, while I was half-naked on the sink, my legs around his waist while he held my hips with his large, strong hands, we kissed. It was so much better than Kiba's kisses, all wet and smelling like dog-food.

"Aa—" I gasped as he pushed away my cup and felt my nipple in between his fingers. Such a simple touch could send so much pleasure all over my body…

"You like it?" he smirked, kissing my collarbone. Man, he was a naughty, naughty boy. Mwah-mwah. His lips, however, were heaven.

"I…do," I said, grabbing onto him tighter. "I want more of it." I helped lead his hands to the back of my bra and unclasp it, letting my breasts spill out for his entertainment.

He stood there, awestruck for a second. Was I too quick? I don't know. Things are funny when you're really hazy. So I grabbed his hands and put them over my breasts. "Touch me."

I don't know if it was sweat or chicken soup that was covering my body with stickiness, but he used his tongue and licked me from the torso up anyway. He was nothing like Kiba—just ten times better. He was sweet, slow, and sexy…I realized how much I actually loved him, despite me being with Kiba.

"I need you," I begged as I felt tears nearly pouring out of my eyes. "Please…"

He heard the desperateness in my voice and held me tight, cupping my face and staring into my eyes. "I'm not going any further right now. It's been a tough day and you've been through so much. We'll stop here, alright?"

I could tell that he was holding himself back, because my bananas were bulging in his pants again. I frowned, but buried my face in his hair, inhaling his sweet cologne scent.

"Fine," I muttered, pressing my bare chest onto his shirt. "But later, you promise?"

"I promise."

Then, I pulled back, only to have him tuck my hair behind my ear and kiss me again. "Sit there—let me get a towel to wipe you dry."

He wrapped it around me and had his arms around my body, whispering sweet, dirty things in my ear as he cleaned me.

"Get dressed. You need your sleep." He led me out of the bathroom, and I could see the stains where the chicken soup was and where Kiba's forever butt-print laid. The towel was still around me. He took it off and helped me put on my shorts and my T-shirt.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

I yawned and fell back onto the bed. "Could you lie with me here for a little bit?"

I saw that he was reluctant because his banana was aching to be eaten, but he said, "Sure." Then, he got into bed with me and held me tight, making sure the blankets were over the both of us neatly. I snuggled into his chest and tried to make sure I wouldn't get him sick.

"Could you imagine what it would be like for you to be my boyfriend?"

"I'm sure I'd like it very much."

My senses were still impaired, but I could get the vibe that he wanted to be with me, too. Sakura the lie detector was back on track—and warm. I told you, body heat is WINNING.

Quote on quote: Charlie Sheen. WINNING!

"I loveeeeee you," I said, my speech garbled. "Forever and ever and everrrrrrrr."

He stroked my hair. "Love you, too."

Sakura, 1,000,000,000. Flu, 3.

He definitely is the right kind of boyfriend material.

* * *

**i know i havent updated in forever. im sorry, im sorry, im sorry. i've had a lto on my plate adn something really terrible happened to me while i was in a school trip at washington dc. soem pakistani guy came up to me and asked to take a picture with me, asked form y email and address and name and said "oh, pakistan adn china are god friends. let's visit each other" and everything...i was freaked out. he was CREEPY.**

**and i've been busy studying for finals and stuff. but i PROMISE i will udpate sooner. or else you can punch me in the face. okay?**

**love you all.**


	38. Tongue Tied

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-eight. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o38: **Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, while shopping for tomatoes, I noticed that the cashier was very pretty. Trying to be friendly, I smiled. She said, "Hi, how are you?" Instead of saying the usual "I'm good" or "I'm okay," I accidentally said "I'm gay." FML.

* * *

**.o38.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**T**_o_n**g**_u_e **T**_i_e**d**

_._

I don't know if I'll ever be able to show my face in here. Ever. Again.

No, seriously. You think I'm joking. I'm totally serious about this. Me, _Uchiha Sasuke_, sexiest man in all of Konoha (and the Naruto world) has ruined his reputation by saying _two words _that have destroyed the reputation he's worked so hard on building.

And it was all because of a girl. You know, I've seen lots of pretty girls out there who stalk me and want me to get in their pants, but they haven't really been my type. What with all the screaming and the "Sasuke-kun!" and the ""I LOVE YOU BEAR MY BABIES" and everything…I mean, really, girls can be out of control sometimes.

So, they obviously aren't the right ones for me. But you know how those sappy romance fics go (not that I haven't read them. No, seriously, I haven't. My mom made me watch some stupid rom-coms, rom-drams, and rom-trags with her when I was growing up. I hate to say it, but _Black Swan _was _hot_. Seriously. First of all, _The_ _Kids are Alright _was about…a lesbian couple. _Black Swan _was about dancing lesbians. There's a difference).

(Anne Hathaway said that at the Oscars. And she, too, was gorgeous in _Love and Other Drugs_).

Anyway. So, I literally had a "love at first sight" moment. I was buying tomatoes, just picking them out and sniffing them and then putting them in my bag and in my pants (you know the joke about the guy who put the potato in the back of his Speedo? I'm doing it right and putting it in the front, except it's a tomato). Tomatoes are my favorite fruit/food. And they are _not _vegetables, despite what you all say. Science proves you all wrong.

Then, when I went to check out my tomatoes, the cashier (her nametag read _Sakura_) looked at me, gave me a smile with her pretty, straight white teeth, and her eyes literally _shone _in my face. I don't know if it's possible, but her eyes were even brighter than Gai's smile, which was pretty darn shiny. I was going to go blind from the rays.

"Hi," she said, being friendly. Smiling (or, at least, I _tried_...I ended up just giving her one of my trademark smirks, because honestly, when I smile, I swear, half of my face decides to twitch as if I had a stroke), I decided to be nice back. "Hey."

"How are you today?" she asked as she grabbed my bag and started scanning them to give me my price. I fiddled with my wallet and the unused condom that's been sitting in there for three years. I know that's not healthy, but you know, I can still dream.

I looked up and noticed how _actually stunning _she was. Like, she didn't deserve to be in a cashier's place. She was supposed to be on the runway for America's Next Top Model. My mouth became tongue-tied and I couldn't form my words right. Pussy got my tongue.

(Maybe mine could go in hers?)

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you okay?" Apparently I was flushed bright red and fiddled with my collar, loosening it.

Usually, I'm supposed to be the one in the situation she's in, where the girls go head over heels for me. But something drew me to her, and I couldn't speak right. I was going to respond with either "I'm okay" or "I'm good." But instead, I said, "I'm gay."

She paused for a moment and dropped my tomatoes quicker than a blink of an eye. To be honest, I don't know what dropped faster—the tomatoes or my pride.

Either way, I wanted both back.

"Uhh…" she began.

"I didn't mean that, I swear, I wasn' talking about that and I promise you that I'm not gay. I love girls and I love porn too and I love women and tits and anything with a pussy and…" Okay, I was _really _high now. I hate my life. Honestly. FML, because now, everybody was staring at us.

…

It only takes 5 minutes to ruin a reputation.

I'm not sure who said that, but I read it in the Reader's Digest, so someone mfamous must've said it. Maybe it was Donald Trump, for all I know.

.

.

.

You know, when you're stuck in a situation like this you don't know the best way to get out of it. I just stood there, motionless, my hands at my sides and my tongue sticking out and staring at her face (and taking a quick peek at her cleavage. Yum, yum) and becoming redder and redder. Seriously! She was waiting to be licked.

But that wasn't the current problem. The current problem was me. I know, shocking, right? I think it's one of those "it's not me, it's you" speeches.

"Uhm, okay," she said, blinking a few times. Everyone else seemed to dissapate, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Great, the one girl I actually show interest in thinks that I'm gay and it's all her fault. If she weren't so god damn pretty, maybe this would never have happened and I could go and keep living the bachelor life, trying to find the right girl but then watching them all flock to me like hungry pigeons. But I already knew that she _was _the right girl.

"Wait, Sakura-" Looking at her nametag (though I already knew her name, those breasts were just so nice...) "I, uh. It's just that..."

She looked at me weird, as if I was a bug on her that she wanted off. She gently pulled her arm away from me and I was hovering over the cashier counter, looking at her with my eyes and trying to take it all in. I don't know what was happening, but all I knew is that she was some sort of she-devil. Locking me into her spell and dragging me...was that possible? How could somebody so innocent make me want to jack off with vaseline and my socks?

"You know what? Can we just forget this whole thing? I have customers in line and my boss is watching..." Sakura nervously looked behind at the man who was stomping his foot impatiently, eyeing her over, along with me. "That your boyfriend?" he called from across the store. I saw that he was looking at me and ready to get his bodyguards to shove me out the window.

"No! He's just...a customer," Sakura said, gritting her teeth. Ooh, did she like me? Denial, denial, denial...she thought I was smexy. Which was perfect, because I thought she was, too.

"Well, let him leave. He's holding up everybody." Her boss turned away and Sakura sighed in releif. I noticed a pniching feeling in my arm and looked down to see Sakura gripping my wrist.

"Sorry," she mumbled once she realized what she'd done. Pretty soon, the customers behind me were grumblign and moving to the other lines, complaining about how "teenagers should take it somewhere else after their job." "It's just been a long day."

"I know what you mean," I said. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Nah, I actually didn't know what it meant, but I could pretend to make her feel better, right?

Sakura rolled her eyes and looked at me. Then, she looked down at her feet, where the tomatoes were all broken and mushed. Damn, and I had spent time trying to pick out those tomatoes!

"Sorry," she said again. "I'm just...new to this. It's my first week and I've never really had a job before, so..." she looked behind her to see where her boss was. "Please don't tell him this, but you can go ahead and get more tomatoes for free. I'll pretend to cash you and then you can leave. I really don't want to cause any more trouble right now, and to be honest, you're kind of making me uncomfortable."

Me? Uncomfortable? I know girls have felt self-conscious whenever they were with me because, well, I am a sex god, but her? Noooo way. "Can we just talk?" I said.

She looked behind her again and saw that nobody was getting into her line. "Fine," she said, sighing deeply. I knew that she wasn't exactly interested but I smirked. Hopefully I could make up for what I've done.

I'LL FACE MYSELF

AND WHATEVER PAIN MAY COME

I'LL BRACE MYSELF!

Linkin Park is amazing. It just so happened that it's my ringtone. But it didn't ring.

.

.

.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke," I said, introducing myself. I held out my hand for her to take because I wanted to feel her smooth skin against my fingers. She took it, and I felt a jolt. Especially in my...uh, crotch area."You already know who I am," she said, laughing nervously. "My full name is Haruno Sakura."

Wow, she was the whole package. A pretty name, a pretty face, and a pretty body, too.

Could I ask for anything else? Oh yeah, her under me while we're doing it in the dark.

(Making forts. Duh).

I guess I stared at her for a little too long, because she turned away and said, "I think you should go now. This may lower my paycheck." I growled. Screw the money. I could give her my whole wallet if she would just talk to me for at least five more minutes.

"Keep talking to me. I'll pay for whatever you miss."

"But-"

"No buts. You're interesting and I want to have a conversation with a girl who doesn't fawn all over me while I'm looking at her."

Of course, I was the "girl" in the situation and fawning all over this Sakura chick, but she didn't need to know that. She looked at me, sighed, and said, "If I lose my job because of you, I swear, I will hunt you down."

I gave her a smirk. "Fine, whatever." Then, I took her wrist and said, "Can you leave for a few seconds? We should have a sit-down talk. My legs are fucking killing me."

She squealed as I dragged her away, but had enough time to put the "Sorry, this lane is closed" sign on the counter. We went over to the cafe nearby and I made her sit down whiel I ordered two coffees. One for me and one for the lady.

I like my coffee black. I drink it like that. All black and no sugar or cream.

After all, I am a man.

.

.

.

Okay, maybe it was a little sexist of me to give her a double chocolate mocha frappucino. She's a girl, right? She likes that stuff? But then I forgot that girls also like to watch their calories, and knowing how many there were in that grande cup...

"Give me some of yours," she commanded, holding out her hand for my cup. I looked at her over the lid and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? This? Tch, sweetheart, you could never drink like I do. It's pure black."

"That's what I like."

I didn't know if she was lying or not, but if she was, she was doing a pretty good darn job of it. Her arm was still outstretched and sighing, I handed the cup over. Waiting until she tried it.

She would hate me when I laughed at her puckered face.

"Knock yourself out."

Then, she did the unthinkable. She tossed her head back (mm, look at that neck!) and drank it in three gulps, hot and burning, her throat moving as she swallowed. I gulped. Not only was I impressed with her ability, but I was also getting hard from looking at that neck...

Maybe I could be more sexist and be her Edward Cullen? Bite, bite.

Speaking of which, I could give her the same birthmark I have on my shoulder with the three commas that line up weird.

.

.

.

"Aah," she said, sighing in relief. "That was good." I was still in shock. How could such a girl behave like that? It was like she changed automobile cars in her freetime and swore like a sailor while smoking pot and skateboarding up and down ramps.

She looked at me and laughed. "What, you've never seen a girl drink like this? Honey, I was born on coffee."

"Oh."

I couldn't say anything else. I was thinking about the time in the future on what was going to happen. She goes to my place (or me to hers) and then we go take off our clothes and get the sheets and make "forts."

And I also thought about how I first met her. You know, this would be a great story to tell our kids someday. If we have kids. I don't know, she might knee me in the balls once I tell her that we're going to go make forts.

I really wanted my tomatoes, too. The fact that she licked her lips and looked at me wasn't helping at all. I mean, seriously. Her lips were either naturally shiny or her lip gloss was poppin', and the boys all wanted to meet and chase her after school...I know I wanted to.

I feel like I'm going offtrack here. I wanted to talk to her not only because she was freakin' gorgeous, but also since I wanted to prove to her that not all gorgeous men are gay. It's honestly her fault for being so pretty or else I would never have embarrassed the Uchiha name.

She tapped her fingers against the table and looked at me. "So, Sasuke...are you really gay?"

Here comes the bomb. I sputtered all over the table and she looked at met funny. Apparently I disgusted her. "No! Of course not!" I said. "I told you, I love women!"

Sakura laughed, as if she thought I was lying. "I know you're lying, sweetheart. I'm studying psychology and you're obviously denying it."

"I am not!"

Great. Now I sounded like a little kid.

But honestly, I was telling the truth.

"Mmhm." She wiggled her eyebrows and got up to go back to her shift, taking the coffee cup with her to the trashcan.

"Wait, Sakura-" I began. She looked back at me and said, "It's a shame that you're gay, Sasuke. You're honestly really attractive."

"I know I am, but that's not the point. It's just that...you're really pretty, and..." Wow. Tongue-tied again. This pussy has really got my tongue in her claws. I sound like Hinata whenever she's talking to Naruto. "I'd like to get to know you more, I guess."

Sakura paused, took in the information, and looked at me with her shiny eyes. The light burned, and I swear, my retinas were about to be lit on fire or something.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh," I repeated. Once again, the whole store was looking at me.

I grabbed her wrist again and held her to my chest. My lips were at her ear. "I swear I'm not gay."

She pushed me away and I expected her to slap me, but she didn't. "Whatever makes you feel better about yourself, Sasuke." She gave me a smile and poked my forehead, like Itachi used to do.

"You have to believe me."

"Or what?"

"Or..." I thought of a threat. "Or I'll kiss you!"

Her eyes widened and she looked away from me. "You wouldn't."

"I'm a man of my word." Then, I swooped in like a Prince Charming and kissed her full on the mouth, my tongue going over her lips and tracing the outline. Mm, it was lip gloss. I smirked and she gasped, so I used the opportunity to sneak my tongue in like the little snake I am, and found hers. She, surprisingly, played with my tongue too, and her hands were grasping the front of my shirt, clutching as if she would drop to the ground. But it was okay. My hands were securely on her waist and I wouldn't let her fall.

Finally, she pulled apart for a breath. "Wow," she said. "Just...wow."

"You better improve your psychology skills, Sakura-chan," I teased, tickling her chin. She frowned, but she pressed her fingers to her lips, which were tingling and slightly swollen. She said nothing.

"Haruno!" her boss shouted from the other end of the store. "Get your ass over here right now!"

She looked at me sadly before she trudged over to her boss's office, and I said, "Wait."

"Yeah?"

I slipped a card into her cleavage (she squeaked) and made sure it was tucked right in her bra. "Call me."

She nodded and gave me a small wave before heading towards the devil's cage. I stood there, while everyone watched us, and smirked, congratulating myself. She was mine. Or at least, a step closer to being mine.

Now she was the one who was tongue-tied. Literally.

And, as I looked at my watch, I realized that I still had some time to get the new tomatoes to replace the ones that she dropped.

* * *

**lol, i felt like i wnet rly off topic here. i just got out of school yesterday and i have a party and everything but i wanted ot opst this before it was too late nad stuff. i wanted this to be better but i tugess ths will have to do lol.**

**well i hoep you like it. it's not my best work but it's good enough i hope lol. have fun with your guys' summer or finish the school year with a BANG lol**

**love from xena x3**


	39. Just the Way You Are

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble thirty-nine. third person.  
******FML o39: **Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura ran into one of her old classmates while shopping with her husband. When asked who she was married to, she pointed to Sasuke, who was looking at some lingerie for his dear wife. "Stop lying to yourself. You can't get anyone that hot." FML.

* * *

**.o39.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**J**_u_s**t **_T_h**e **_W_a**y **_Y_o**u **_A_r**e**

_._

Okay, listen here.

Sakura _may _not be the prettiest girl in the world compared to others, but her husband thinks she is (awwh!) and therefore, that's how it's going to be. Truthfully, he could have any girl he wanted—Megan Fox, Ashley Greene, hell, even Elizabeth Taylor, but instead, he chose what his heart wanted: Haruno Sakura. In his eyes, she was the most perfect woman in the world, in looks and personality.

And, on a plus side, his family loved her too.

So maybe it was embarrassing for her to hold hands with him out on the streets where people would turn their heads and whisper about Sasuke. "Isn't he gorgeous?" "Why is he out with a plain girl like her?" "He should be a model!"

And, of course, Sakura would feel insecure. Nonetheless, Sasuke would hold her tighter to him and kiss her forehead in front of everyone. "Don't let them get to you. They're all just jealous."

Nonetheless, Sasuke was a diamond in the rough and she felt like a nuisance to be next to him.

.

.

.

She was 25, and he had just turned 27. They had been married for three years already and still acted like a teenage couple in love, with a rather active sex life.

He loved the way that she moaned every time he kissed her neck, or the way his hand crept up under her shirt to cup her breast through her bra, and how soft her inner thigh felt whenever he ran his fingers up towards her womanhood…

With every kiss, he would silence her pain, becoming gentler and gentler in each touch, still giving off the same fire that made them both attracted to each other.

"I love you," she would murmur as her hands were buried in his scalp, tugging against his hair. He would stare into her eyes and soften, kissing her face softly, and whispering the same words in her ear as he fumbled with her hands, making sure their fingers were intertwined and that their rings clashed against each other.

However, it kept bothering her in the back of her mind that he could have so much more with another girl, maybe with bigger breasts and a curvier figure with luscious wavy, blonde hair and sparkling eyes. Instead, he _did _get a plain Jane with eccentric pink hair, short and choppy, normal green eyes, and a passable figure with B to C cups, but nothing to be jealous of.

"What's troubling you?" he would ask, lying against her while wiping stray locks of hair away from her face. "There's something on your mind."

But Sakura would smile and wave it away, hugging her husband tightly against his torso, her breasts pressing against him. He would smirk, she knew, and she gave a small sigh as she knew that she wasn't everything she wished she could have been.

.

.

.

"Let's go shopping," Sasuke said, grabbing her hand. She had just put her ripped bra on (he sure could be impatient) and searched for a new pair of panties to wear.

"What—I'm not even…what are we shopping for?" she asked as he put on his jeans and a T-shirt in a hurry. He still had that aftersex smell and damp strands of his hair hung in front of his face.

"It's my fault that your pretty clothes are all ripped because of my hormones. I'm going to buy you some new ones so that I can look at you with these eyes even more, and see how they were made for you…and then I'll rip them again so that we'll go shopping once more."

Sakura couldn't help but blush. Sasuke pulled her into his arms and gave her another kiss as she felt his erection against the front of her panties.

"Mm…" she moaned as she clutched his shirt in her fists. "Sasuke-kun…"

"Come on," he said, pulling back. "As much as I'd like to see you naked back in our bed, we have some shopping to do."

He helped her find a shirt and a pair of shorts and assisted her in putting them on, making sure his fingers tickled her skin.

"Hey!" she said. "Knock it off!"

Sasuke smirked, kissing her ear again while he helped her put on his coat and led her into shotgun seat.

"Ladies first."

.

.

.

Once again, the annoying chatter began. "He's so beautiful!" chimed from everywhere they went, along with mean remarks about Sasuke's wife right next to him.

And, as usual, Sasuke held Sakura closer to him and whispered, "Don't think about it, sweetheart. I'm here."

Sighing, Sakura blocked off the bad thoughts about her and Sasuke, and followed him into the "intimates" section, blushing, seeing all the other women either give her glares or sighs of jealousy seeing this hunk with her…

"Sakura!"

A high-pitched, familiar shriek came from behind her, and she turned around, not knowing if it was this Sakura or some other Sakura…after all, it was a popular name.

"I'll look first. Call me if you need me," Sasuke said, giving her a small kiss before leaving to look at the red lace bras and matching thongs.

A red-haired woman, out of breath, gave Sakura a big hug. "You little bitch! I missed you so much!" The woman ruffled Sakura's hair and gave her a headlock. Sakura nervously laughed.

"Hi, Karin. It's nice to see you again."

Karin pulled back to look at Sakura. "Sweetheart, you haven't changed much. You've still got the baby face, which is, by the way, cute as _ever_. But your breasts have grown," she said, impressed, looking down at her friend's chest. Nervously, Sakura covered her torso up with her arms crossed.

"Uhh…"

"Right, right. Hey, is that a _ring _I see?" She took Sakura's hand and shrieked. "It is! Who is it? Do I know him? Explain exactly what he looks like. Is he hot? Oh my gosh, I hate you soooo much right now!" Karin complained. "Suigetsu and I are still not engaged…ugh, I'm such an old hag, but really! Who is it! Is he here?"

Sakura was embarrassed. She didn't really want Karin fawning over her husband, like so many other girls did, even if she was her friend…instead, Sakura sucked it up and pointed to Sasuke, holding the red lingerie he was observing in his hand, moving on to the pure white ones.

Karin stopped for a moment, then threw her head back and laughed. "Seriously, Sakura? Okay, I knew you were a little liar, but something like _this_? Sweetie, you're cute, but knowing that you're married to _that _piece of ass? Forget it! He probably has _huge _standards, like uber-thin models with E-cup boobs or something."

Sakura knew that she had made a wrong decision. Trying her best to hold back the tears, she said, "Uh, yeah." Embarrassed out of her mind, she turned away from Karin and said, "It was good to see you."

"You too, Sakura! Let's go get a coffee sometime, okay? And then you can show me your _real _husband." Karin winked. "Bye-bye, love!"

Sakura didn't turn back. She let a tear fall.

Even her friend knew that she was no good for someone like him.

"Hey, Sakura, what do you think of these?" Sasuke called from across the room. Sakura wiped her eyes, hoping that he didn't see her weakness.

"They're fine." She didn't even look up. "Hey, Sasuke-kun…I'm going to go to the bathroom. I need to…uh, fix my makeup."

Before Sasuke could respond, she had dashed off, letting the tears fall off freely.

"I'm no good for him..."

.

.

.

She had locked herself in the handicapped stall, the biggest one. Then, she fell back onto the wall and slid down, burying her head in her knees, wrapping her arms around them and bringing herself as close as she could. Sakura let herself cry and sob, not caring who heard.

There were some women who had asked her if she was okay in there, or others who demanded that she cry somewhere else because they needed to use the bathroom. To the first, she muttered an "I'm okay, thank you" and to the latter, "Fuck you!"

Then, as the entrance to the ladies' room opened, Sakura could hear some heavy footsteps and then squeals of delight and embarrassment.

"You're cute!"

"Hey, are you seeing anybody?"

"Why are you here? Let me direct you to somewhere more private…"

And the voice that was deep, suave, and husky…the one that she was so familiar with and fell in love with…

"All of you, get out."

The women left sadly after clinging and clutching onto him. He had shooed everybody out and locked the door so that nobody else could come in. Of course, Sasuke wouldn't care if they pissed themselves—he was already pissed off, anyway.

"Open up, Sakura."

Sakura didn't respond. She just buried her head deeper in her knees and bit her lip, letting the tears fall freely.

"Sakura."

"Sasuke-kun, please go away."

She heard him sigh, run a hand through his hair (those gorgeous locks…), and said, "I'm going to kick down the door if you won't open."

Sakura bit her lip even harder, tasting blood, and said, "Leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong. Sakura, I have been molested by women trying to get to you, buying lingerie by myself, and now I'm in the women's bathroom trying to coerce you to get out to talk to me and find out what's the problem, and I'm pretty sure the mall security has already been called. I'm literally losing my pride and dignity as we speak, so can you just please come out so we can talk?"

"Sasuke-kun…" she cried. "No, just—"

"Stand back," he said. Sakura raised her head to find out what he meant. "What do you mean sta—"

With three swift kicks, the flimsy door was on the ground, and Sasuke loomed above her, sighing again. "A bathroom? Really? I feel like this is a rerun of Konoha High School doujinshi from the amazing Damleg…"

Sakura, tear-stained, was grabbed by the wrist by Sasuke, bringing her to her feet and pinning her against the wall.

"Who made you cry? Was it another one of those whores?"

Sakura shook her head. "No! It was nothing like that, I swear. It's…"

Sasuke frowned. "Sakura, even though you're the one who majored in psychology, it doesn't take a profiler to know that you're lying. So why don't you just tell me the truth?"

Sakura stared down at her ring, playing with it. Then, she thought back to all the years of women staring at her with jealousy, commenting, and even her friend Karin knowing that she could never be up to par with Sasuke…

"I think…I think that we should break up."

"Break up? What do you—"

"Sasuke-kun, you can do so much better than me, and you have your whole life ahead of you. I don't want to hold you back. You can have any woman that you want, and you're so beautiful…it's been really great to be with you for all these years, but I think we might have to go our own way…"

Sasuke didn't say anything. "That's it? Are you done with your speech?"

"I—"

"Sakura, you're an idiot. I married a bright, beautiful woman, but now she's giving me all this crap about going our own way and finding a prettier woman…this isn't High School Musical, sweetheart."

She could see that Sasuke was tensing up and becoming more and more frustrated. "Sasuke-kun…"

He kissed her. Hard. Her words were muffled against his lips as he pressed harshly, his tongue forcing entry into her mouth and holding her wrists against her. She struggled against him, but he pressed his hard body against her to prevent her from kicking him.

"Do you see this? Do you see how hard I am for you? Do you understand how fucking crazy you make me? I don't want any other woman but you. In my eyes, you're the most beautiful one there is and ever will be, and there's nothing that you or anybody else can do that can change my mind. I love you just the way you are, Sakura."

Now she paused. "Are you done with _your _speech?" she said quietly. She looked up at the man who stole her heart, her lips, and her virginity, and touched his cheek gently. Sakura genuinely realized how much that she took for granted and how sincere he actually felt for her. He was embarrassing himself beyond words just doing all this for her, being locked in a bathroom stall and pushing away flirting women, who, in her opinion, were uber-thin models with E-cup breasts.

"Hn."

Sakura teared up again and flung her arms around him. "Sasuke-kun…my love…"

"You finally came to your senses, Mrs. Uchiha?" he said, nibbling against her ear. He put his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "My, my, you're a bit late."

"It's just…I hate seeing all those other women I'm jealous of hitting on you. You're only mine, you hear? Mine!" she bit his lip. "I get even more jealous than you do."

"Then what should I do?" he teased.

"Prove to them that I'm yours. You know, I might as well wear a brightly colored neon sign saying, 'I'm his wife—back off, bitches!' while stealing Kim Kardashian's fucking _huge _engagement ring. I mean, seriously…is it possible for a ring to be that huge?"

"Do you want it? I'll get you a bigger one."

Sakura laughed. "I'm just joking. But really, you must be even more lovey-dovey when we're out in public, or else…"

He smirked. "Please. You'll never be out of bed long enough to see sunlight. I'll make sure you turn into a freakin' vampire."

She hugged him tighter as, speak of the devil, the mall cops (Paul Blart!) banged against the door. "Open up!" they shouted. The couple ignored them and kept on embracing.

"Hey, did you know that Bruno Mars has a song called 'Just the Way You Are?'"

"Of course, Sakura. That's where I got the idea from. But honestly, I thought of it before he made the song. Just saying. I'm always one step ahead."

"I know," she murmured.

"By the way, I picked out some underwear for your flawless body. I can't wait to rip them off you again," he whispered huskily in her ear, his hand creeping up her shirt. "You're going to make me fucking explode."

"We're coming in!" the muffled sounds from outside the door shouted. They kicked it open just as Sasuke was ready to remove Sakura's shorts and pet her womanhood.

"Damnit," he muttered as the mall cops entered with a thud. "We'll save this for later." He turned towards the cops and said nonchalantly, "What's the problem, officers?"

Sakura, buttoning up her shorts, watched her husband's back and smiled, feeling her bruised lips and her fiery hot body. Only he could make her feel that way, and only she could make him harder than rock. She was the apple of his eye, and she knew that (if in Bruno Mars terms) other women were nothing on her. Sasuke would only look at her forever, and just her. And she'd do the same.

She would never feel inferior anymore now that her husband was at her side, only having eyes for her. Unfortunately, vice versa was a bitch…

.

.

.

_Sakura sighed as Sasuke spilled his seed into her, both of them groaning in pleasure. _

_"That was amazing," she moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck._

_"You're amazing."_

_"Mm…Sasuke-kun, sometimes I can't help but close my eyes when we make love and think that you're the younger George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio or something…or maybe John Travolta when he was in Grease…"_

_"What?"_

_"Just kidding, sweetheart. I love you."_

_"You better be kidding."_

_"I'm sorry, so sorry…in fact…"_

_Sakura reached for the remote and turned on the TV. One of her favorite boy bands was on. As planned, they began to sing in unison their chorus for the popular song—_

_"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, lick a neck a neck I wantcha neck your neck your neck your bod your bod your bod your body, baby!"_

_She licked her lips at the boys on TV before Sasuke grabbed her and kissed her softly, covering her eyes so that she couldn't watch the screen. Then, he kissed her neck, sucking on the sensitive part of her skin._

_"I want only your body."_

_As he was ready to enter himself in her, she began, "It's like John Mayer's 'Your Body is a Wonderland!'"_

_Sasuke sighed._

* * *

**sry for the late update guys LOL.**

**this was really random but i hoped that you liked it. i tthought it wasnt too funny but i trid to make it kinda bott serious and humorous at the same time haha. plase reviewwwwwwwwww and tell me whatyo think =D reviews mean quicker updates teeheeeee.**

**sasuke of course, only loves sakura and nobody else. as we all know. NOBODY ELSE. not naruto, karin, hinata, ino, or whatever. ONLY SAKURA.**

**and btw, i dont hate karin that much. i only hate her when shes like OH SASUKE KUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNn**

**but she's okay. i just still really, really hate ino. really.**


	40. Pew, Pew!

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty. sakura's pov  
******FML o40: **Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I went to the park with my dad. Apparently, he thinks it's okay to make sound effects for every. Little. Thing. It doesn't help to know that my crush is watching. I'm about tear out my hair. FML.

* * *

**.o40.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**P**_e_w**, **_P_e**w**_!_

_._

Okay, so, like…

I know some people HATE their dads for being embarrassing, but I honestly, sincerely think my dad is the worst out of the worst. He's a really talented voice actor, I'll give you that, but when you have to hear the same things over and over again…

Well, let me just say—you better load the shotgun.

I love my dad. I really do. But sometimes, he just makes me want to, like, _cut something_. I know that's not healthy (but at least I'm not hurting anybody!), it's just…when you have to wake up to:

"Ho ho, Sakura-chan!" in a Mickey Mouse voice,

"Kawaii desu! Ohayo, Sakura-chan!" in a girly, OMFG shut the fuck up voice,

And; "SAKURA, I AM YOUR FATHER," in that weird, Darth Vader raspy voice; you honestly can't sleep with the lights off.

One time, he even did the Sawako voice (the girl from The Ring when she's coming out of the well and her hair is all in front of her face and she crawls out into the TV and you scream and piss yourself), and I had to sleep with my mom for about three months until I could actually go back into my room.

So, as much as I hate school, I also love it. I can finally get away from my dad into a safe haven where the only crazy person is Naruto, and even then, he doesn't usually get in my way that much.

.

.

.

Sasuke-kun is so cute. I know this sounds really weird and stalkerish, but as Hinata used to stalk Naruto, I kind of do the same thing with Sasuke. Besides the fact that Sasuke's not dense and Naruto is, he always has, like, a billion girls around him all the time, so I can't really get close to him. Not that I want to. I'm shy around guys. Whenever he even _looks _in my direction, I get really red and run away…

But nonetheless, without even having much physical contact with him, I really do like him. At first it was for his looks, but I realized that I actually _really _do like him. Like Hinata likes Naruto. I mean, their love is soooo sweet it's disgusting. Sometimes I want to punch that lovey-dovey couple in the face for being so sugary sweet.

Sasuke's actually really kind. One time, in seventh grade, I lost my keychain that my grandma gave to me down the sewer. Because it was really important to me, I had to _take _the lid off, use my phone as a flashlight (yeah…I know, it's annoying, but drastic times call for drastic measures!), make sure that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were out on a mission so that said mutant ninja turtles wouldn't attack me from below, and put my hand down there, digging for something metally and pink and hopefully not covered in vomit and sewage.

But Sasuke-kun…I saw that he came back from sports practice one day, all sweaty and gorgeous and a towel over his shoulder. He was alone (surprisingly), and he saw me putting my hand down the sewer, looked at me weird, and then asked me what was wrong.

I, fumbling with my words, explained as best I could. He then sighed, squatted, and said, "Hold your phone right over so I can see." Then, _he _put his hand down and tried to find my keychain.

That was the first time I met Uchiha Sasuke. He tossed me the keychain after cleaning it with his bottled water and handed it to me.

"Be careful next time," he said. I nodded, watching him leave.

I think it was then that I first fell in love with Sasuke.

Unfortunately, I don't think he remembers me. Even with this pink hair of mine. And also, I'm not incredibly pretty like some girls or awesomely gifted…though I am in the brain.

And plus, if he met my family, I don't think he'd be able to ever look in my direction again, or acknowledge me at all…not that he hasn't, already.

.

.

.

"Welcome back, Sakura-chan!" my dad said in one of his new voices; a Fran Drescher/Lois Griffin/Marge Simpson nasally voice that makes you want to punch something—or someone—in the face. Seriously.

My mom told me that was the reason she fell in love with him. Because he was so funny and "charming." Please. If some guy tried that on a date with me, I would never call him again. Ever.

My mom works as a nurse (which is where I get my doctor expertise from) and my dad as a voice actor for some kid cartoons…and, at night, he sometimes does erotic voice acting. Which is really awkward, because he wants us three to sit on the couch and watch hentai while he puts his arm around me and mom, telling us, "Hear that, dear? That was me! See? Isn't my character great?"

"It sure is, darling," my mom would say, and then they would go upstairs and use my bedroom as a love-spot. Partially another reason why I continued to stay in my mom's bedroom and sleep there. This was also during the Sawako period.

Anyway, my dad was sitting with us peacefully. La di da, right? WRONG. During dinner time, he always wanted us to hear his new script, so we would be sitting at the table, eating, and bits of half-chewed food would fly _everywhere _due to talking while eating. Sometimes, he would choke, too, but that's not the point.

He would put on his glasses, look really smart, like a professor, and begin slowly, enunciating his words as if we were stupid and couldn't hear what he was saying. So "Part One" was stretched out to be "Paaarrrttt Onnneeee." Like a ghost.

Needless to say, I often excused myself from dinner or ate in my room while I heard my mom's claps and squeals. "Oh, you're so handsome—" she would always say…and then the H things would happen. On the table. Where we _ate_.

Is nowhere safe anymore?

.

.

.

Oh.

My.

_Gosh_.

So, we have this biology project kind of thing, andandand—the teacher paired me up with Sasuke-kun! Can you believe it? Out of all the people, I got to be with _Sasuke_! I'm inwardly squealing, but at the same time, I'm like, a little wary. I can see all the other girls are making plans to try and kill me and make it look like an accident or a suicide, but screw them. I'm with Sasuke!

He, apparently, couldn't care less. Just sitting in the corner, looking out the window (in that gorgeous pose of his. Ugh), and his eyes just…freezing. He was beautiful without even trying.

I could kill him, right here. Right now.

Anyway, this would mean that I would have to _talk _to him. So I was really, _really _nervous. Nonetheless, I sat next to him (arm's length, Sakura…) and said, "So, uh…we should go over this stuff. 'Kay, so we meet up in the park on Saturday…you know Konoha Park, where the kids' playground is, right?" I looked up at him to see that he wasn't paying attention.

"Hn."

Well, he sort of was.

"Yeah. So I'll meet you there at 3:00 there, and we'll get started. Does that sound good?" I asked, not expecting anything more than another "hn."

"Sounds good, Sakura."

He called me by my first name. First of all, despite the fact that _he called me by my first name_, he actually _knew _my name. He didn't say something like, "Hey, girl," or "You there." HE KNEW WHO I WAS.

I'm about to have an asthma attack. I'm hyperventilating and if someone's going to perform CPR, please, please, _please _make it Sasuke. I haven't even had a first kiss yet, but Sasuke-kun…ADGOIUSPEIUT.

I'M GOING FUCKING CRAZY OVER THIS GUY AND HE HASN'T EVEN TOUCHED ME YET.

_Ahem_.

I found my inhaler.

.

.

.

Was it a bad choice to have my dad come along with me for the ride? I really think it was. Really.

He wanted to "spend some time with his daughter," which, yeah, I totally understand, but we could spend time at home. Hell, I spend time with him _all _the time watching porn with him and listening to his monologues…

"Sakura…you _didn't _forget about the plan you and your father set up to spend time with you, _did you_?" Mom glared at me with those evil eyes of hers that nearly made me piss myself. "No, mom, I didn't. So, uh, me and dad will just be…er, going."

Dad took me by the wrist and fucking _skipped _out of the house. Okay, he used to do that when I was a little girl, which I totally understand. That's fine. But I'm freakin' _seventeen _and right now I'm seen holding hands with my dad while he's making annoying Rainbow Carebear sounds every. Single. Step.

I really hope nobody I know sees me like this.

.

.

.

So dad won't leave me alone. At all. He's afraid that I'm going to get raped, kidnapped, or killed. Or all three.

(Not necessarily in that order).

Hell, I even lied and said, "Hey dad, I'm, uh…going to the bathroom."

"BE CAREFUL SWEETIE! I'll keep watch out in case some stranger comes!" So he stood there in front of the women's bathroom, looking like a CIA agent and I bet that's why half the girls who needed to piss were scared and just went into the guys' bathroom instead.

That's when I climbed out the window. Bad choice, since it was pretty dirty and whatnot, but hey—you gotta do what you gotta do.

So anyway, I went to the nearest Party City, bought myself some sunglasses, a sombrero (gotta love them), a lei, and one of those pretty Chinese qi pao dresses. Gosh, I love them.

But looking in the mirror, I noticed that I looked pretty multi-racial. Ha, now, when somebody tries to be racist to me, instead of flipping them off, I can just be like, "No…speek…Americanese."

And then they'll feel bad and walk away. And I would laugh.

So anyway, I was walking past with my new outfit, noticing that my dad was a little worried that I hadn't come out yet (psh). I checked my phone—it was 2:35 already. And the park was nearly 20 minutes away by foot.

As I walked past him, trying not to unveil myself, I noticed that he mumbled, "Does my sweet Sakura-chan have diarrhea? Or perhaps constipation? Maybe I shouldn't have given her the Haruno specialty passed down from my great-grandfather…"

Now, thinking back, that "specialty" did make me feel kind of sick…

.

.

.

Running, it took me 15 minutes, tops. I was panting by the time I got there, and my sombrero was nearly falling off, revealing my pink hair.

I had a feeling that my dad followed me, so I made sure to be extra cautious.

It was now 2:50 (see? I wasn't top in math for nothing!), and I thought that I was pretty early. Until I noticed the familiar swarm of girls around the fountain, watching from afar and giggling and taking pictures on their cell phones…

He was already _here_? By the looks of it, he had been here for a while.

Pushing my way through the crowd, I said, "Sorry, 'scuse me, sorry…coming through!" until I reached him. He got up and looked at me funny, until I realized that I was still wearing my multi-racial clothing.

"Uhh…" I looked around for a bathroom to change into my old clothes. "I can explain…"

He opened his mouth for a second, then closed it. Shaking his head, he said, "Let's just get started." He then led me over to a wooden table and laid down the papers and books, scooting closer to me so that we could both read off the same page together.

"So this is what we've gotta do…"

"SAKURA-CHANNN!"

At first, I thought it might've been Naruto. But then again, who else could have made a Winnie the Pooh noise that loud?

.

.

.

As my dad ran over to me, I frowned and tried to tilt my sombrero further over my giant forehead. Unfortunately, it didn't fit. Damn genetics.

"Sakura-chan, I found you! Thank goodness the GPS device I put in your cellphone works…wait, why are you wearing that stuff? What happened to your old clothes? Who is this boy?" he eyed Sasuke wearily, and I nearly cried. This was my only chance to be with Sasuke, and it was already ruined…but now…

"It's nice to meet you, Haruno-san. I'm Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke, being the gentleman that he is, held his hand out for my dad to shake. Dad, looking at it wearily, didn't receive it, causing Sasuke to put it down in embarrassment.

"What have you done with my daughter, huh? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY DAUGHTER?"

Great. Now he was pulling the "good cop bad cop" routine from that crime show we watched together. I should've known better.

"…What? We're just working on a school project together—"

"DOH!" my dad said, before facepalming Sasuke, who flinched. Girls around us gasped, and I couldn't do anything but just lay my head on the table and bang my own head against the splintery wood.

FML.

.

.

.

It took a while, but dad _finally _apologized to Sasuke. Finally, as in, he wouldn't have unless he didn't see me so sad. Thank God. But he should really learn how to behave better.

"I'm staying here until you guys are finished, and then _I'm _going to be the one to walk Sakura-chan home. I don't trust you dirty bastards after the Korean War…"

"I'm Japanese."

"Sureee you are," dad muttered under his breath. I rolled my eyes. "Sasuke, please try to ignore the walking lawsuit…"

I turned my page. _"Zip_!"

"Dad…?" I asked as he sat there, peacefully, as if he didn't knock my crush's head with his own huge forehead.

"Hm?" he said innocently. I sighed, crossing my legs.

"HONK!"

"Really, dad?" I sighed. Sasuke looked…confused. As in, half trying to keep a straight face, half trying not to laugh. Or chuckle. I've _never _seen Sasuke laugh.

Then, I tucked a stray hair from my bangs and I heard some kind of melody playing from the background. You know, in one of those rom-coms where the main lead tucks a stray hair from his crush and tucks it behind her ear, before he leans in, closes his eyes, and kisses her…

"Dad, stop it. You're embarrassing me," I snarled, hoping Sasuke couldn't hear. He was concentrating on his books, but looking up continuously from time to time.

"Hey, sweetheart, I just wanna add some fun into your life! We don't get to hang out much, remember? That's why I was going to come somewhere with you instead of—" he looked at Sasuke with evil eyes, as if it was _his _fault and not mine, "Being with this guy on your…'study date.'"

"It's not a date!"

"Sure…" dad rolled his eyes again, and made a little heart sign with his hands. "I know you have the hots for him, but he's gonna have to get through me if he wants to get in your—" he looked back at my angry face, and decided not to say the last word. "Head. I meant head."

"You better have," I muttered. "So, Sasuke…should we start by getting the leaves?"

"I got it!" dad said, jumping up. "I just wanna make sure that my sweet Sakura-chan isn't cut by the leaves. Or the trees. You know how those sneaky ninjas hide…" he went and nearly took every tree leaf he could find, coming back, leaves in his fists.

"Here you go, Sakura-chan. So let's work on this together…"

He was totally making sure I wasn't talking to Sasuke. After all, dads are protective of their daughters…hoping they don't get cooties. (Well, the more proper term is _STDs_, but…)

Sasuke, however, just sat there and watched me die, not bothering to be my knight in shining armor. Ugh. Well, at least it was better than him leaving.

.

.

.

For every little thing I said, my dad thought it would be acceptable to make sound effects for every action. I took a step. "Ding!"

I sneezed. "ACHOO!"

I coughed. He farted.

Un-_freaking_-believable.

I don't understand why Sasuke still bothered to stay. If he were a typical other guy (besides the sexiness), he would've been _long gone_. Honestly, as much as I love my dad, he's the reason why no other guy invites me out on dates anymore. Or rejects mine.

Even Lee was scared shitless against daddy dearest.

But he stayed. Either he actually _enjoyed _this pitter-patter, or he had uber self-control.

"Dad, can you leave for a second? I'd like to talk to Sasuke by myself," I said, muttering in his ear. My father looked at me as if I was crazy.

"You—alone—with _him_? No! No, no, no! I won't allow it!" he crossed his arms and humphed like a little brat, and I sighed. Drastic times? Drastic measures.

I pushed him off.

"Owwie! Sakura-chan! Why'd you do that to daddy?"

"Please, just give me five minutes. You can even watch from that tree over there," I said, pointing to the furthest tree away from us. But still within eyesight.

_Barely, _ha, ha.

"Fine. But make it quick. 300 seconds, and that's it!"

"Sure."

I watched as dad left, looking behind his shoulder to make sure I wouldn't take Sasuke by the collar and kiss him passionately. But that didn't mean I didn't _want _to.

"I'm sorry about this whole thing," I said, sighing as I took the sombrero off. "It's just that…I mean, I was honestly really, really excited for this thing, and I even planned an outfit and stuff…but my dad, he decided to tag along and…" I sighed again. "It's just…I'm sorry."

Sasuke didn't say anything. He opened his mouth, until my dad shouted from across the park, "30 seconds!"

Thanks, dad.

"It's okay. I know how you felt by the way you looked. But, to be honest, your dad's a pretty cool guy. He's pretty awesome for someone his age."

I looked up at Sasuke to see his face. He was _serious_. And, most of all, _smiling _at me.

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. He's really laid back, compared to my dad, who's strict all the time. Your dad's an awesome funny man, you know? That's probably why you're such a cool girl."

Whoa, whoa, _whoa_.

Back up.

_He called me cool_. _Nonetheless calling my father cool._

SQUEE.

"Are you serious?" I asked. In this lei and sunglasses and hot Chinese dress, I don't' think I could've been considered "cool." Thank goodness I took off the sombrero.

"Definitely. It's okay that we didn't get to have one on one time. But it was great hanging out with you anyway. You know? Who could forget this special pink hair of yours?" he chuckled.

I could see that he was leaning in for a kiss, closing his eyes like the romantic movies, and I was leaning in too…

"TWO MINUTES, FORTY-FIVE SECONDS!"

We broke apart to see the father looking at us with stern eyes. Sasuke sighed, looked at me with those soft eyes, and dad made sure that he was at a five meter radius from me.

"Well, kids, it's getting late…better hop on the old ride home!"

He took me by the shoulder and patted Sasuke on his. "If you _ever _touch my daughter…I swear, you will never hear the end of it."

Of course, it would've been a lot more serious if he didn't use the Peter Griffin voice.

As promised, dad walked me home. But Sasuke seemed to…follow us?

"What're you doing, sonny? I tolja that we'd go home _by ourselves_."

Sasuke smirked at me, giving me a small wink, and said, "Well, sir, I don't think somebody as handsome as you should be walking alone late at night by yourselves…so I figured I would go with you. For extra protection. I'm a black-belt, by the way."

"Hmm…well, you _have _stroked my ego. But what can I say? I love a good ego-stroking!" He took Sasuke by the shoulder and wrapped his arms around both of us.

"Today was productive, wasn't it?" Even then, I didn't mind his stereotypical Texan accent.

Sasuke and I were too busy holding hands behind him to care.

* * *

**i loved this prompt. sry for the late update. xD**

**anyone going to otakon? i am...hopefullly ill see u guys there!**

**about the korean war thing, btw. please dont take offense to it. i like koreans. ._.''**


	41. Not Exactly

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-one. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o41: **Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures', I got a picture of a cheesecake. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I finally mustered up all the courage I had to ask Sakura, my crush, to send me "yummy pictures." I was hoping topless ones, hey, a cheesecake's considered yummy, too...I guess. FML.

* * *

**.o41.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**N**_o_t **E**_x_a**c**_t_l**y**

_._

_DEDICATED TO POOKIE BOO FOR THE PROMPT!_

.

It's really hard trying to pull off the "cool, cold boy" act at school and then the "hopeless romantic in love" at home. Especially around my friends. I don't think they've ever seen somebody so bipolar yet so sexy at the same time. They've actually recommended me to several therapists, but I know that it's not a brain problem. It's…well, I don't want to say it's me. It's probably _her_.

So maybe Sakura's really cute and beautiful at the same time (you can't find those girls who are both. You just _can't_. They're an endangered species ready to go extinct. Like pandas), and maybe she makes me do something stupid every time she walks past me or says my name, causing me to drop my books, or trip over something, or spray the water fountain in my face and have it drip onto my pants.

I mean, they're already wet from…well, you know, but still—it wasn't as visible until I spurted water like an elephant. It just wasn't _my _trunk that was spurting water.

Apparently some girls find this cute. I don't think it's cute at all. They always say, "Oh, Sasuke-kun—let's go to the infirmary and I'll clean you up!" And before I know it, they've locked the nurse in the cabinet where they keep all the drugs and she's probably fiddling around with the prescription pad, getting high on Valium while I'm handcuffed to the headboard of the bed, watching as girls try to find cloths to rub my crotch.

And of course, I never wanted my first time (yes, guys, it is my first time. So a guy wants to save his virginity for the girl he likes. Big deal) to be like this (of course, if it was Sakura, that would be totally different), so I kicked them off and, with no luck on finding the key, broke the flimsy headboard and walked around school handcuffed to a piece of wood.

However—_just _because of that moment, and every other, there were rumors going around that I was _gay_. As in, homosexual.

Honestly, I have homosexual panic and fear that if I can't get Sakura, I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life with Naruto, watching him eat ramen and crying every time he takes me home.

We're brothers, not lovers. So go write your yaoi fanfiction somewhere else, dickwads.

.

.

.

I didn't really _force _Sakura to give me her number. Instead, I just…pried for it. I mean, I didn't have Naruto be an ambassador, but we sort of worked things out.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!"

"Oh, hi, Naruto." Her friends giggled, assuming that _Naruto _was the one to ask her out. Like hell.

"I was wondering…could I get your number? I'm really stupid and I need to call you for questions."

Sakura hesitated, before saying politely in her sweet voice, "Sorry, Naruto, but I only add people I know. Unfortunately, I don't know you very well. And besides, you'd be calling me all day if you had questions on your homework, which I don't think you do. Why don't you ask Sasuke-kun? He's smarter than me."

Naruto frowned, turning his head around and pouting, before I shooed him to go talk to her again.

"But, I mean, you _have _one, right?"

"Yeah, see?" she pulled out her phone from her bag and showed it to Naruto. It was bright pink with sparkles (too bright!) and had multiple plushies on her keychain.

Of course, abusing my sempai powers, I walked up to them and took her phone, _ahem_ing loudly. I placed it in my pocket, knowing that my fingers were touching _hers_ indirectly. So it was kind of like an indirect holding hands.

"No phones in school."

"But, I was just showing Naruto—"

"Sorry. You can pick it up afterwards."

Naruto and I walked away, and Sakura kept talking with her friends on how it was "so unfair" and "all Naruto's fault."

I should have felt bad, but instead, I pulled out my own phone and added her number.

"Hey, can you give me hers too? I seriously need help on my homework or I'm not gonna pass."

"No," Sasuke said. "Besides, you think she's cute too."

Naruto gave a huge grin. "Yeah…I do."

I punched him in the face. Therefore, having no more competition.

.

.

.

I found her watching my team after sports practice and smirked to all the guys. Someday, I hoped that I could say, "Hey, that's my girlfriend."

And they'd say, "The cute one? No way."

"Believe it." Damn, I was sounding like Naruto now. Ugh.

Instead, a bunch of guys crowded around her like she was a showcase material thing, and I pushed them aside.

"Hey, Sakura," I said, slinging my towel over my shoulder and pressing closer to her. "What's up?" I hoped she could see my sweat and muscles and especially my sweaty muscles. And how good they looked when I flexed. "You here for me?"

"Why would I be?" she said as the other guys "oohed." "I want my phone back."

Of course. I got my hopes up. I sighed, grabbing my bag and fiddling for it. "Here." I gave her the shiny phone back, and said, "Now don't let me catch you whipping it out again, like Willow Smith's hair."

"Fine. Thanks." She walked away from me, dialing a number and pressing it to her ear. "Mom? Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry I'm late. No, I wasn't with another guy. Shut up! I'll be home soon, okay? Love you. Bye."

Apparently, I wasn't the only guy who watched her leave, her hips swaying and the hint of her shorts popping up as her skirt flew.

I would've been given the life sentence if I knocked everyone out right now, so I just kept my hands to myself like a good boy, as taught by my cousin Tobi, who suffers from multiple personality disorder. Believe me, when he thinks he's Madara, it's like living in a nightmare.

.

.

.

_Hey, _I texted her that night as I finished my homework and lied on my bed. _What's up?_

_Who is this? _she replied back, a minute later. Not wanting to seem desperate, I slowly typed, _Sasuke._

_Why do you have my number? _she texted again. _Did you take it from my phone?_

_No! _I said. Damn, she was clever. _I needed to talk to you about the rules and I had a friend give me your number._

_A friend? Who?_

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. I didn't know any of her friends besides the ones who tried to rape me, and even then I didn't know their names.

_It's a secret. Anyway, what's up? _I asked again.

_Homework. _She ignored the previous comments and decided to go with the flow. She even added a small frowney face.

_That sucks. Any help you need?_

_No thanks, I'm good. _

I realized that today was Friday (GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!), so I knew that I had to muster up the courage to tell her that I liked her, even if it was through a text. I couldn't bear the constant embarrassment of the whole week, so with a weekend's gap, I felt a little more relaxed.

_Hey, Sakura?_

She replied back a couple minutes later.

_Hm?_

_Would you believe me if I said I liked you?_

One minute passed. Then two. Then three. It seemed to go on forever. When I finally got a text, I expected surprise. Instead, I got:

_ARE YOU SERIOUS? HAHA! THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY! Aa. Thanks for the good laugh, Sasuke. I needed it._

I groaned. This would be harder than I thought.

.

.

.

_I'm dead serious, Sakura. I really do like you._

_Yeah, and I'm white._

Obviously, she wasn't taking my feelings into consideration. I grew more and more frustrated.

_What do I have to do to prove it to you?_

_You don't! You're gay, remember?_

Of course. _That's _why. Damn it all to fucking hell.

_I'm not gay!_

_Sasuke, sweetheart, you don't have to do this to yourself. Just accept the fact that you are and continue your lavish lifestyle so that us girls can write stories about guy on guy porn._

_Sakura…_

I wanted to stop texting her, but knowing that was actually having a conversation with me…I continued anyway.

_Then let me ask you out on date. Tomorrow, 11 am, in front of the school gates. We'll go anywhere you like and I'll spend as much money on you as you'd like._

Pause.

_REALLY? So we can go anywhere I want? Are you sure?_

_Yeah._

_Oh, thank you thank you thank you! I love gay men! –mwah- _Sakura gave a small kiss face in her text. _I'll see you tomorrow, Sasuke-kun! _

I sighed. I didn't know how to respond to it. She thought I was gay but got closer to me anyway, because, well…girls dig that kind of thing? I shuddered.

I mean, guys liked girl-on-girl porn but didn't fantasize about their classmates doing it, but girls liked guy-on-guy porn and even drew and wrote things about their classmates, best friends, and boyfriends.

So maybe we thought it would be hot for our girlfriends (unfortunately, I've never had one but I can vouch for the other guys. I just don't want Sakura to be my girlfriend and then go on the other side of the line) to screw each other in front of us, but the other way around…egh.

Anyway, I counted my money and made sure I had enough for a nice lunch, some souvenirs (maybe I'll buy her another plushie for her keychain), and maybe a hotel. MAYBE. We'll see about that, if I can convince the little girl that I'm not fucking gay and that she's driving me fucking insane.

.

.

.

Is it weird for a guy to wait for a girl an hour earlier? Not really? What about two? Because my ass is sitting on the cement and I'm watching as people pass me by, tossing me some spare change.

I'm not fucking begging for your money, dickwads.

So I just sat there and held my cell phone in my hand, hoping that I'd hear a text or call from her soon. Inside, I was trembling with delight, but I didn't let that show. I, of course, have an amazing poker face and can therefore beat Lady Gaga at the game, with my stun glue-gun.

It was about ten until I saw Sakura running towards me, panting. Apparently, by the look on her face, she wanted to be first to wait, and saw me, so ha. I have foiled her plans. I thought about playing the Final Fantasy music on my phone, but I held back against it. The last thing she needs to think is that I'm a gay nerd who loves video games and World of Warcraft.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun. You're early," she said as she ran up to me, helping me up. I dusted myself off.

"Well…the early bird catches the worm?"

She looked me up and down and gave me a weird look. "I bet you do. I bet you do."

Did she just think I meant that in a sexual way? Oh _hell _no.

"Let's go," I said, mumbling and grabbing her wrist as she followed me.

"Sasuke-kun! I'm sorry!" she wailed as she tried to keep up with me. I ignored it, knowing that I would make her change her mind about my sexual orientation by the end of the date.

.

**six o'clock**

.

This. Was. Exhausting.

I was about ready to drop dead, but apparently, Sakura still had a bunch of energy left. I sighed, counting the money in my wallet—twenty dollars at an All You Can Eat Buffet (and damn, that girl can eat!), ten for an amusement park (couples discount, heh), five for souvenirs (yes, I got her a plushie for her keychain), and I still had enough left over for a hotel.

"Thanks a lot, Sasuke-kun. I had a really good time. In fact, I wish I had more gay friends. Gay people are so sweet, unlike straight people." She sighed, holding my arm. "I'd like to have you as my boyfriend."

Without warning, I grabbed her wrist and kissed her hard. She "mmphed!" against my lips, her eyes wide open, but I closed mine and savored the moment. I knew that I would probably get slapped or kneed after I pulled back, but if it meant kissing her longer, I would have endured a week's worth.

She touched her lips. "You're good."

I licked mine. "Thanks."

"I mean, I've never had a kiss before…but you moved your head right like they do in the movies and the dramas and stuff. But really, Sasuke-kun, please don't do this to yourself. You're not only hurting me, you're hurting every man who loves you. So Sasuke-kun—" she put a hand on my shoulder. "Just stop."

As much as I liked her, I wanted to punch her in the face in that moment.

.

.

.

It took two more hours to explain to her that I was not gay. I had to explain my whole sad childhood to my current angsty teen years, and she listened the whole one hundred and twenty minutes. It was painful to retell my life, which was private and personal, but I think it was worth it, because she nodded her head and said, "So…you're not gay?"

"No. Absolutely not. Despite popular belief, I am _not _gay."

Sakura pursed her lips, and then brought my hand to her chest. I began to blush madly and felt how soft her breast was, but judging by the expressionless look on her face and the embarrassment of mine, she then pulled away (I didn't get to squeeze it, though), and said, "I guess you aren't gay. Gay men aren't interested in breasts. That's what Cosmopolitan said."

My hand still felt her lingering warmth, and I imagined the soft flesh under my palm, her nipple erect for my fingers.

"I know. I've never been gay."

"So this date…" Sakura began to blush for the first time. "It was actually…I mean, you like me?"

I looked away nervously. "Uh, yeah. I like you. Oh, wow, this is embarrassing…"

She took my hand in hers and smiled. "Hey, don't be. I feel really special that you can talk like this to me. I mean, it's like we have our own little secrets and everything…it just makes me excited knowing this!"

"That I'm not gay?"

"Yup! And besides, you're really hot!"

I leaned in to kiss her again, smiling happily, before she pushed me away. "Not today. My lips are already pretty bruised. And we've been going a little too fast, huh?"

"You dragged my hand to your boob!" I nearly shouted. "And _I'm _going too fast?"

"Uh, yes?"

I sighed. "Whatever." Pulling her up from the ground where we were sitting on, I said, "I'll walk you home."

"Nah, it's alright. I have to go to the nearby 7-11 anyway and pick up some stuff. Thanks for tonight, Sasuke-kun." She gave me a small hug and walked away. I yelled after her, "Check your phone!"

"Okay!" she shouted back, not bothering to turn around. I smirked at myself, feeling accomplished and glad that the girl I liked knew that I wasn't gay and that I was interested in her.

.

.

.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now~_

I was staring at my phone until 1:25 am, sitting in my bed and smirking to myself. If I was a girl, or Naruto, or gay, or all three, I would have been squealing. But I'm a boy, Sasuke, and straight, so I just smirked.

I texted Sakura, but I figured that she was asleep. Hoping that she would get my texts in the morning (along with the five voicemails. Yeah, I'm _that _desperate), I tried to fall asleep, but was too giddy to even close my eyes.

Then, my phone buzzed. I opened it to see Sakura's reply to one of my many messages, and she said, "Thanks again for the fun time, Sasuke-kun!" Smiley face and kiss. "I hope we can see each other again!"

Definitely.

_Hey, Sakura? _I texted. _Send me a yummy picture. I want to see it. _I hoped that she got that I wanted to see naughty, intimate pictures of her petite body, but five minutes later, I probably got my hopes up.

**Re: **yummy pic

It was a cheesecake. A freakin' cheesecake. I opened it excitedly, only to find out it was a picture of a vanilla raspberry cheesecake from the freakin' CHEESECAKE FACTORY.

Under the picture, she wrote the caption, "Is this yummy or what? I g2g now, Sasuke-kun. Bye!" Heart.

I was really hoping for half-naked pics, but hey, one man's words is a woman's…er, I don't know. She was too innocent to know what I meant.

But despite the fact I was disappointed, that cheesecake did look pretty yummy.

.

.

.

It's Sunday and I'm still kind of upset about the cheesecake thing. I really want to invite Sakura over again for another date, but would that make me too desperate? Or will I just be the hot guy who can't get enough of her?

Probably both.

I'd like to touch her breast again and drop her onto my bed while I hover over her and she holds me tight as I lick her. And her fingers will make claw marks all over my back, and she'll kiss me constantly as she looks into my eyes and professes her love for me…and then we'll go to heaven, land on cloud nine, and then…well, everything else.

This doesn't seem like a normal teenage boy's dream, but damn it, I'm not some horny dude who just wants to get some from every human who has boobs and a pussy. I only want _one _human who has boobs (which are amazing, by the way), and a pussy, and just that one.

I sound like a freaking pedophile now. Trust me, I am _not _into lolicon. I swear. But Sakura would look damn pretty in a Lolita cosplay…

"Good morning, Sakura." I called her despite my feelings on having to wait. I was way too desperate.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun," she said groggily. I looked at the alarm clock. _6:48 am. _Shit.

"Did I wake you up?" Well, no shit Sherlock. It doesn't take Jude Law or Robert Downey Jr. to tell you that.

"Nah. What's up?" she said, yawning. Now I felt bad. But anyway.

"Would you like to come over today? Any time is fine. I can pick you up or you can come over to my place."

"Okay. I'll see you at ten," she said, yawning again. "By the way, did you like the yummy picture I showed you? It's enough to make any stomach grumble."

"Yeah. It sure was…yummy," I lied, a bit frustrated as my cock sprung up at imagining the sight of her in her cotton PJs.

"Yup. Anyway, bye, Sasuke-kun."

"See you."

I waited for her to hang up first, hoping it wouldn't be one of those lovey-dovey couples who are like, "No, you hang up first!" "No, you!" "No, you!" "Let's hang up at the same time. One, two, three…you didn't hang up."

No, but she hung up first. That totally destroyed my fantasy.

.

.

.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, her face washed and now bright, cheery, and happy. "How are you?"

"Good." I eyed her up and down. "You look really nice today."

She smiled. "Thanks. And you do...too," she said, looking at my clothes. Shit, I forgot to change into my everyday wear and was still wearing a gray T-shirt and sweats.

"Whoops. Let me change." I invited her in to sit on the couch, and she waited as I cursed, fumbling with my clothes.

When I went back down, she was texting on her phone again. Of course. Those are girls' lifelines.

I sat down next to her and made her put her phone down. "Sakura," I said, turning her head to look into mine. "I really do like you. And I wanted you to come here so I could say that."

"Really?" she looked at me with big Bambi eyes. "So…I wasn't just dreaming last night?"

"Nope."

"Oh, good. Because that cheesecake sure was yummy." She patted her stomach and smiled, totally oblivious to what I wanted to say.

I sighed again. "When I said I wanted a yummy picture of you last night, I was hoping for a picture of _you_. In your, er, night clothes. Or in a towel. Or half-naked. Anything seemingly erotic. Maybe even a sailor uniform?"

Sakura blinked, looking at me with confusion. "You want me to sext you?"

"Er…"

"You do know that's illegal, right?" Sakura said. "And plus, I'm self-conscious about my body." She hugged her chest before I exploded at her.

"You let me touch your boob yesterday!"

"Yeah, but I was self-conscious." She pouted and I groaned again. So, so stupid…

"Fine. You don't have to send me one if you don't feel like it. Since I like you, I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

"So…we're like, dating, right?" Sakura asked, scooting closer to me. I blushed, looking away in embarrassment.

"I…guess."

"Good, because I like you too. And plus, you're really hot. Oh wait, I said that last night," she said. "Whoopsies."

It didn't matter. Her back was on the sofa and she responded eagerly to my frantic kisses as I struggled to get my shirt off. She held my forearms gently and felt my muscles and moaned softly as I stuck my tongue in her mouth.

Yeah, we were a couple of horny teenagers who were infatuated with each other. I was shirtless and the other was…braless.

Even though we kept it above the waist (both of ours), she managed to find out sincerely that I was not homosexual, I never was, and I never will be. She smiled at me and kissed me softly again, moving the hair out of my forehead and licking her lips.

This yummy moment was so much better than cheesecake.

.

.

.

_Hey, Sakura? _I texted.

_Hm, babe?_

_Talk dirty to me. _I put a winking face. I eagerly awaited the response.

_Mud. =D_

I facepalmed.

FML.

* * *

**this is probably the longest one. i mgt have strayed from the topic too much but derppp. ki hoepd you liked it anyway lol...**

**i thought this was crap ._.'' ughh fml**

**send me more prompts! this one is especially dedicated to Pookie Boo, who i tred to make tis good but it turned out..bad**

**lol**

**REVIEW OR DIE**


	42. Dream Interpreter

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-two. third person.  
******FML o42: **Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sasuke dreamt that he was making out with a really hot, unknown girl in his dream. When he was about to go the extra mile, she suddenly cried and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this!" Apparently, he can't even get laid in his dreams. FML.

* * *

**.o42.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**D**_r_e**a**_m _I**n**_t_e**r**_r_e**t**_e_r

_._

There was no doubt about it that Sasuke was beautiful. In fact, he was "_so_ beautiful" that "all the people around him died of his beauty." (Quote on quote Patrick Star)

It should have been obvious that he was supposed to be with beautiful people. After all, his mother was beautiful. His dad was also beautiful, but in a masculine way. His brother was also breathtakingly gorgeous, and so it was obvious that Sasuke raised his standards and only hung out with beautiful, breathtakingly gorgeous people.

And the girl who dated him…oh, she just _had _to be a freakin' goddess! Of course she wouldn't be as beautiful as him, but she would be very, very pretty and have to be at least 5'6 (AT LEAST!), around 90-100 pounds (105 at the most), a gorgeous face, C-cups being the minimum, a hot body, and a sweet personality. Oh, and she had to be all natural, too. No excessive makeup or plastic surgery.

Besides Ashley Greene or the young Elizabeth Taylor, there wasn't anybody who could probably fit that stereotype in the world. Especially in Asia, where barely any girls had natural tits above a B-cup.

But despite the rumors, Sasuke never really cared for a girl like that. Sure, looks were important to him and he'd like to have an attractive girl as his girlfriend, but he was more interested in her sweet personality and what she'd do with and for him if they were dating (sexual favors to come later).

He liked the innocent, kind girl who put others before herself, and always saw things in a pure way, blushing at dirty jokes and sometimes even a stray brush of the hand or meeting a gaze. He didn't care if she was America's Next Top Model or some girl on the streets. She didn't have to be beautiful to the world if she was just beautiful to him.

Unfortunately, talking about this with his immature best friend, Naruto, (who, surprisingly, was not beautiful) had put a stamp on his forehead for probably most of his life.

"VIRGIN!"

.

.

.

Sasuke didn't know if girls were just afraid to be criticized by him or just awed by his beauty too much to say something. Every time he would go near them he would see that the straight, female population either was frozen by how beautiful he was, or scared because they thought he was some god-like monster who would not be afraid to yell at them for anything they did wrong. Like Domyouji in Hana Yori Dango. Except without the funky caterpillar 'do.

He walked down the sidewalk connecting to the school with his bag slung over his shoulders, his left side aching by the number of textbooks he had to bring home. Groaning, he switched sides and carried on, hoping that he would at least last a while longer until his shoulders finally gave in.

"Damn Naruto." His friend had promised to give him a ride, having Sasuke not need to rush in for parking his own car, but the bastard probably forgot and drove off without him. So now, he was like this. In pain and angry.

"Do you need help?" somebody behind him asked. Sasuke stopped to see if the person was talking to him, before he turned around and saw—

A pink dwarf. Well, she wasn't exactly a dwarf, but she was a _lot _shorter than him. He was at least 6'2. She was 5'1, at the most. _Most_.

"I'm fine," Sasuke muttered. He didn't need somebody to help him, much less a girl. He couldn't see her face due to the bangs that covered her seemingly large forehead. Besides, she was also tiny and probably couldn't lift the bag, anyway.

"I can just hold some of your textbooks and walk with you," she said. He must have had a look of shock or disgust on his face, because she suddenly said, "I didn't mean—not like a stalker, but…well, never mind. Good luck." She turned to walk away, before he thought about the situation and called her out again.

"Hey, you," he shouted as she pivoted on her foot. "Help me carry these, then."

He handed her one or two textbooks that he thought were the heaviest, and gave them to her, expecting her to fall down under the weight. Her petite figure didn't agree with the laws of gravity. Or something. Instead, she took both and slid them under one arm, carrying them as if he would carry a light binder or any other object. He was surprised at how fragile and thin her arms looked, but saw that she could easily lift a bigger weight than (embarrassingly) him.

"Any more?" she asked through her hair, as if the first load wasn't big enough. Staring in shock, he handed her two more, and she slid them under the other arm, giggling a little as she held them. "You've got a lot of homework, huh?"

"Hn."

"Don't talk much?" she said. He squinted, hoping to see what her face looked like, but it was impossible under all those pink strands. They were annoying him, that mask. Was she ugly and therefore covering her face?

"Hn." He began to walk, thinking of multiple reasons why she would hide her face from the world, but turned and continued to walk, his shoulders feeling much better than before while she kept up with him at an equal pace, not seeming to be tired at all.

They didn't talk the whole way through, and Sasuke was feeling a little weird. Other girls, once they saw him with the pink midget, quickly backed away, muttering quietly but not understanding how he could be with a short girl whose hair covered her whole face, like Sunako from the Wallflower.

Soon, Sasuke reached his house, and he told the strange girl, "Thanks."

She handed him the books and gave what he thought was a smile. "You're welcome. It was no big deal. I had nothing to do, anyway."

"Oh."

They stood there awkwardly until he said, "Well, I've got to go."

"I'll see you later?"

"Sure."

Quickly, he left, not turning back to say goodbye, and felt his heart race through his chest. He watched through the window as she left, not expecting a wave or anything, still able to see where she was walking though locks of her (silky?) pink hair hung in front of her eyes.

Looking at the amount of homework he had and how his body was still beating rapidly, he decided to take a nap and just relax for a bit. Hopefully that girl wouldn't come back to his house, because…

Oh my goodness she knew where he lived.

He was _so _fucking screwed.

.

.

.

Sasuke usually never had dreams. So having one this time was a surprise to him. In his dream, he was…half-naked. His shirt was nowhere to be found, and for some reason, he felt insecure without it. The temperature was warm and he called out to nobody in particular.

"Hello?"

Everything around him was white, like King's Cross in Harry Potter's "death scene." He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing.

Suddenly, a girl—no, _woman_, came up to him. He squinted his eyes in order to see her better, but for some reason, his vision soon became foggy. The woman, much shorter than him, reached out to touch his chest. Sasuke flinched, feeling her warm hands on his heart, and tried to escape. She held out for him.

"Please don't leave me."

The voice seemed familiar, but he couldn't place where he'd heard it before. He stopped, seeing how fragile and gentle she was, and asked, "Who are you?"

"Hm?" she smiled up at him, but his vision continued to fail him. He remembered seeing sparkling green eyes because they were so beautiful, which were the color of Granny Smith apples, rosy lips—reddish-pink, waiting to be kissed, and her flawless peachy skin. Her hand, held in his own, was so soft, and he reached out to touch her cheek, only to have her turn away from him.

"Don't be scared," he said, not knowing what he was doing. "I'm not going to hurt you." Everything was blurry except for her facial features, which were stunning and like a goddess's. Suddenly, his vision became even blurrier and the world turned monochrome, but the only thing he could see at all and in color was still her face. Her hair—did she have hair?—was a mass of a silky blob, the color now black and white. He touched a strand and felt it slip through his fingers. It was so soft.

Then, without warning, she hugged him tight and whispered clearly, "I love you, Sasuke." He flinched—how did she know his name? And who was she?

Screw it. She was beautiful, and he was horny and confused. He took her shoulders in his hands and kissed her hard, becoming more and more gentle with every turn of his head, and she gladly responded by putting her arms around his neck. He lifted her up and had her wrap her legs around his waist. He inserted his tongue in her mouth—she let hers play with his. But once he was ready to undo the zipper on his jeans and help her remove her shirt, she pushed him away, fell on her bottom, and began to cry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, trying to help her up.

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this!" the girl said, her shining eyes covered in tears. "I mean, you're really hot and all, but…" Then, the girl seemed to fade away, her voice getting quieter and quieter. She was drifting off from Sasuke, who sat there, shirtless with a boner, trying to run and apologize, but was too slow for her.

He woke up, having his shirt on, but still with a huge boner in his jeans. As beautiful as Sasuke was, he _still _couldn't get laid. Even in his dreams.

FML.

.

.

.

Sasuke didn't have the same dream again. It had already been a week, and the schedule was back to normal. Girls fawn over him. Guys plan on killing him. Beauty in his dream still hadn't reappeared. And that pink dwarf had just come for one day and then disappeared forever, like the dream girl. Perhaps she was just a person who helped others in need when they needed it. Hm, if he brought a bag of textbooks home again, would she come back for his aid? And then, would the dream girl come so he could explain everything to her…?

Wait.

He was fretting over a girl he saw in a _dream_. A dream. And using another girl that meant nothing to him just so he could see a fake girl…oh shit, was this the result of inhaling second-hand smoke? If it was, he swore that he would report to the police the next time Sai started rolling a fatty. And that Sai also cried during Marley and Me.

Even though Sai didn't cry for the dog's death, he was crying because, apparently, "Owen Wilson is so beautiful."

Yeah.

.

.

.

It kind of worked. Sasuke struggled to carry his bags home, waited a couple minutes while he trudged along, shoulders in pain, until he heard the same familiar voice of a girl with pink hair hiding behind him.

"So, you're Sasuke, right? Sasuke. Okay." She held out her arms, as if waiting for him to put his books in them and make him look like a fool compared to everybody else. "Well?"

Sasuke sighed. He took her by the wrist and dragged her around the corner, despite her attempts to break free.

"Hey! What are you doing? I'm just offering to help!"

Then, when he made sure that nobody was listening, he said, "Listen. I need to talk to you about…" then he stopped, because he honestly didn't know _what _he should have talked to her about. Did he want to go up to her and say, "Oh, yeah, I had this dream about a really, _really _hot chick the moment you appeared in my life? And I still couldn't get laid?"

Instead, he breathed through his nose and sighed loudly. "Never mind." He turned to walk away, before she called out his name.

"Sasuke!"

Why did it sound so much more familiar? As if the voice belonged to somebody else? He knew he heard it before, but not from her mouth…

She ran towards him and said, "I'm not going to let you hurt your shoulders because you can't finish your work during school." She said it as if she was half-laughing, half-stern. "Seriously." She reached for his bag and took out four textbooks, two under each arm.

"Let's go?"

He followed her as she led the way, still unable to see her face through her pink bangs.

.

.

.

"Well," she said. "We're here."

Yup. She definitely knew where his house was in case she was actually a part-time axe murderer by night and student by day, waiting at his house to chop off his balls with her bloody axe and then his neck.

It's too bad that he's got balls of steel. Not even a kick there could hurt him.

Anyway.

Sasuke turned to enter, but stopped and turned to face her. "Why do you wear your hair like that?"

"Hm?" She looked up at him through her bangs.

"Your hair. These locks," he said, reaching out to touch them. He swept them away with her hand, quicker than she could stop him, screaming, "Don't! Stop it!"

What he saw shocked him beyond belief.

Shy, green eyes (so familiar, so stunning). Perfect skin. A ski-slope nose accompanied by rosy cheeks. And kissable red lips.

It was her, and she was back.

"It's you," he said as he held her wrist, the textbooks dropping on the porch. "The girl that's been haunting my dreams."

"What are you talking about?" she said, struggling to get free. He realized that he was going crazy, spurting nonsense, and blushed in embarrassment, letting her go. She "hmphed" in a small grunt and crossed her arms, her bangs continuing to hang back in front of her face.

"You need to explain this to me," she said as she pushed her way into his house, leaving him to stop and think about what just happened and pick up his books.

.

.

.

He brought her a can of his mom's favorite juice. Because girls…liked low-calorie fruit juices that they sipped through fun straws?

She took it with a small thanks, as if she was embarrassed that he had found out who she really was behind her hair. She was sitting in an armchair and held the can of juice in her hands. He sat in the opposite chair across from her.

"So," he said awkwardly, crossing his legs. "This is weird."

She glared at him from behind her hair and said, "No shit, Sasuke."

It was the first time she had said his name in real life, and he loved the way it sounded. Immediately, he felt the hardening of his…er, manhood, and crossed his legs even tighter. Hoping that she couldn't see.

He started out with a simple question. "Why do you hide your face behind your hair? You're very beautiful," he added quietly, waiting for her response. She stopped fiddling with the unopened can and looked straight at him, blowing her hair out of her face. It fell right back where it was.

"Because." Seeing the unsatisfied look on his face, she said, "Because…I don't like drawing attention to myself. I've always been the one people look at. Always the one to be sexually harassed or the butt of everybody's jokes because I'm different from them. And I still get made fun of for having my hair like this, but at least it's better than being well known in a positive way. Gosh, that doesn't make me sound _too _self-centered, does it?"

"No. It doesn't," he said. "I should explain this. But you have to promise not to get mad or creeped out."

"Usually when people say that, they're going to get mad or creeped out. I'll try my best," she joked. He managed a smirk.

"So when I first met you, I had a dream about a strange girl. She came up to me and touched me. Kissed me. I kissed her back, and I—hey, don't laugh. It's not funny," he said as she tried to stifle her giggles. "But I wanted to see her face. See her. Her hair blocked her way and my vision became blurry. But she had these gorgeous green eyes and beautiful face. And she came only when you came in my life. And disappeared when you did. Do I sound cheesy or just idiotic?" he said, realizing what he'd actually processed.

"A little of both," she admitted. "But that does sound an awful lot like me."

"Unfortunately, it was…?" he said. She glared at him again, and he said, "Fortunately, I meant. Actually…I don't know."

"You don't _really _have all this homework, do you?" she said, looking over at all the books she had helped him carry home. "You just wanted to see me again."

"Technically, the girl in the dream, but yes. And it turned out to be you. Weird, right?"

"Definitely." She opened her can and took a long sip. He saw her throat move up and down with each gulp and she wiped her mouth with her wrist after she slammed the near empty bottle down.

"Wow."

"Never seen a girl drink like that? You should see me when I'm downing whiskey." She laughed. "I'm joking. I don't drink."

"You could."

They sat there in silence for a few more minutes, until Sasuke said, "Come here."

"Hm?"

"Just come here." He waited for her to get up, but she sat straight where she was.

"Why?"

"Fine, I'll come over there." He stood up, walked towards her, loomed over her short figure (especially when sitting) and said, "Just stay still."

"What are you—"

With one hand, he gently pushed away her stray locks and saw once more the beautiful, shy face hidden behind pink. Brushing them back, he noticed that she didn't even struggle like she previously did, and refused to look at him, her eyes meeting her feet, her face flustered red.

"I may not be able to get laid right now," he said. "But…can I kiss you?"

"We've literally just met twice," she said.

"But I've kissed you before. And you were amazing." Hearing this about her dream-self made her blush. He said, while tipping up her chin, "What's your name?"

"Sakura," she whispered.

"It's fitting. I like it. Sakura." He leaned towards her, their foreheads touching. "Can I?"

Sakura gulped. Didn't say anything. Just sat there and closed her eyes, blushing furiously, clenching the hem of her skirt.

So Sasuke…he held her head with one hand and cupped her cheek in the other. The kiss was slow and gentle at first, but soon he realized that his hormones couldn't take it and began to kiss her more passionately, tongue and all like he had in the dream.

Surprisingly, she didn't refuse. She wrapped her arms around him, as if she wanted to drag him deeper into the kiss, too, and he began to feel her shoulders and move down to wrap his arms around her waist.

"Mm," she moaned softly through their embrace. He saw that her green eyes were closed in pleasure, and that he was actually getting to taste those touchable lips of hers.

Pulling back, she realized what had happened, blushed, and pushed him away. "I'm sorry. I don't know you that well to do this, let alone be in your house…but anyway. Thanks for letting me be here." She hung her hair back in front of her face. "Please don't tell anybody about me."

"Sakura—"

"Stop it," she said. "Just leave me alone. And don't take so many books home next time, because then I'll feel obliged to help you."

He put a hand on her shoulder. Flipped her around.

"I think I like you, alright? I'm not a dream interpreter. I can't tell what dreams mean. But I know that I've been thinking about you nonstop and I…" Sasuke blushed. "I want you." She could tell from the way she looked down and also blushed.

"You're very handsome," she blushed, her voice a whisper. "I hope you can read between the lines."

"I hope so, too." He gave her a small, quick hug before he said, "Wait here." Making sure she didn't leave the house, he ran to his room and came back down with a ribbon made of red silk. Walking towards her, he brushed her hair back and tied the ribbon into her hair, watching as her expression changed from a shy smile to constant blushes.

"It's nice."

"Well, it's yours now. My mom gave it to me to hold stuff together. It would be a lot more useful for you. And more fitting," he said. Tipping her chin up again, he took a step back and admired his "work." "I like it."

"This isn't me, though," she said. "This isn't Sakura."

"Yeah," he said. He frowned and walked back towards her. "And I'm not a dream interpreter or anything, like I said before, but I think that this Sakura—_my _Sakura—looks beautiful." He leaned in to kiss her. She leaned forward, too.

She wasn't 5'6. She was probably a B-cup. Maybe 100 pounds, too. But he liked her nonetheless, even if the world didn't think she was beautiful.

Sasuke was neither a fortune teller nor a dream interpreter, but he knew that someday he would lose it. And he knew it would be with her.

* * *

**LOLLLLLLLL i can't believe i havent updated in a month and ah alf- fail-**

**but anyway. tbh i feel that these are really rushed and wayyy too cheesy and cliche. and i know that al ot of the readers don't like this story anymore (sorry, really!) but i hope that youcontnue to R&R because honestly, you guys inspire me.**

**esakura's up next! does anyone have any FMLs for her? or for anybody else?**

**plus, would you mind answering a questin on my profile on what your favorite story is? i'd really appreciate it. thanks!**


	43. Gaily We Live

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-three. sakura's pov.  
******FML o43: **Today I saw an unbelievable cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said, "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I saw a really, _really _hot guy. Our eyes met and he walked towards me. I fixed myself and gave him a smile. He smiled back and said, "Hi, do you have a moment for gay rights?" FML.

* * *

**.o43.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**G**_a_i**l**_y _W**e **_L_i**v**_e_

_._

Alright, so…

You know those guys outside the malls and public places and bathrooms and everything? (_Especially _the bathrooms. Gosh.) The ones that are wearing uniforms and holding out tin cans saying, "Donate money for recycling! More money for less plastic! eBooks? Screw them! Help bring back paper books!" and the worst one, especially, was a boy in an orange jumpsuit saying, "Feed the poor college students who have no money to buy instant ramen! Yes, our tuition may cover this school year, but that doesn't include ramen!"

I had to do my best not to laugh as I walked past him. Sometimes I would give my extra change to organizations that I really wanted to help (cancer, blindness, abused shelters), but other times, if they were stupid, I'd walk by them and _try _not to feel guilty about it. Even if they were pretty stupid.

But sometimes I'll just listen for a few moments, even if the subject _totally _bores the hell out of my mind. Honestly, Mister…uh, what's your last name? Takeru? Okay. Mr. Takeru, I appreciate you informing me all about honeybees and I know some other people would be thoroughly interested in your topic of conversation, but I _really _don't care and I also _really _need to go pee. But, being polite, I'll cross my legs and wiggle a little bit and try not to piss myself.

I really have to learn to stand up for myself.

Anyway, today at the mall, I was going to Victoria's Secret to buy some lotion. _Yes, _some _lotion_. I know that's like going to McDonald's for a salad, or giving a hooker a hug, but Vicky's Secret has some amazing scented lotion that's _so _much better than Bath and Body Works. I mean, I've bought some bras and some thongs from there before, but unfortunately I don't have a boyfriend to show them too. And plus, when I want a push-up bra, I just want a little bit of push. Not pillow padding.

Literally, you could shoot a bullet through my chest and the padding would protect me.

Ahem.

It was around eleven when I left my house, eleven thirty when I got there, and I was just chillin' in my apple bottom jeans, and the boots with the fur…(not Uggs, I promise).

And, lo and behold, there were more organizations in the mall, ranting and chanting and yelling about how strongly they felt about…whatever subject Japan doesn't appreciate. A whole crowd formed around them already, and I saw people handing out pamphlets to other people who would take them. Some passerbys took them politely, and others just made a face of scorn (how rude!) and walked past.

Then, something miraculous happened.

I froze. Totally forgot about everything for a second. Because, cliché at it may seem, I saw an angel in front of me. In all his glory, hair combed back with his hands messily, his face carved and sharp, his eyes so deep, so black, so beautiful, and his body…oh, Lord, his body…

I think I was drooling, because I felt something drip on my arm. Oh no, I hope he didn't see that…

I wiped my mouth away quickly. But I saw him meet my eyes for just a second. It was only a second, but it was enough to make me smile. And him, too. It was more of a smirk, but nonetheless, that crooked smile of his that mad me want to touch myself while thinking about him…it was directed towards _me_.

He was walking towards me. Oh, God, thank you _so much. _I know we have chemistry and everything and I know that this will be an awesome story to tell _our _kids someday, but I just fixed my shirt, adjusted my scarf, and made sure my jeans were zipped. He kept walking towards me. It wasn't a dream. It was reality. Like, he was going to talk to _me_.

"Hi," he said. Holy crap, his voice was beautiful too. So flowy and smooth, like river water…I bet he would be beautiful in a wet T-shirt. Even more so shirtless.

"Hi," I said. I tried to make my voice come out as sexy, but instead it came out like a throaty, shaky voice. I cursed myself, but he didn't seem to notice.

Please, don't make him have a girlfriend…!

"Uhm," I began. Wow, _real _smooth, Sakura.

"Hey, do you have a moment for gay rights?" he handed me a pamphlet, and I just stood there, in shock. My dreams now coming to an end. I'd rather him have a girlfriend than a boyfriend. At least then I had a chance!

Apparently, my body still was functioning, so he bent down to my eye level and waved. "Hey, are you okay?"

I was about to cry. He was even _nice, _like a gay guy! Why must all the great men be gay or taken? Or worse, _both_?

"Uh…hello?" he put his hands on my shoulders and I snapped back into reality. He looked at me with his pretty obsidian eyes and I just…I nearly fainted. But I didn't. My knees became jello and I was feeling pretty wiggly but I didn't faint. Not yet.

"Sorry, I…I didn't eat breakfast today." Which was a partial-truth. I only had a granola bar when I usually eat around two pancakes.

"You must be hungry," he said. He pocketed the pamphlets in his pants pocket (so hot, so hot…! I'm going to become dehydrated!). Then, he turned over his shoulder and shouted to a man in a mask and gray hair, "Kakashi, I'm going to take a break right now. Can you manage without me for a few minutes?"

The masked man nodded and continued to hand pamphlets out, smiling and laughing to people while glaring at the ones who didn't. Meanwhile, this mysterious gay man was holding me by the small of my back (my back! Not my shoulders, but my _back_. Something reserved for the intimacy of two lovers). He led me to the food court that was just right down the corridor, and he said, "Now which one do you like?"

There were so many choices and I was so hungry…but I didn't want to impose or create a burden for this angel of mine. I was craving some Mickey D's, but I didn't want to seem like a fatass, so I got a salad. How typical of a girl who's already a healthy weight.

The guy didn't seem to have any problem with it either. Perhaps it's just a gay guy thing. They also like to watch their weight and stuff. He pulled out his wallet before I could even grab mine and bought me a drink too (a diet Coke. How did he know?). I offered to pay him back, but he waved me off with his a motion of his hand (again, is that another handshake thing that they use or what?). Then, he bought something for himself and sat down with me.

I like salads, don't get me wrong. It's just not as filling and…yeah.

Anyway, he got a salad too, which totally fit the gay stereotype. The way that he used his beautiful, beautiful hand…oh gosh, I could see his muscles protruding. And his wrist…oh my goodness. Even with all the rainbow bracelets and the bands like Grateful Dead and whatnot, HE WAS STILL FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.

And he'd never be mine. Sob.

"So," he began. It was like we're on a date! Okay, _calm _down, Sakura. You know how to do this. Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep doing that and catch your breath.

"Uhm," I muttered. Smooth. Way to go, Sakura. Just keep breathing!

"What's your name?" he asked. "I'm Sasuke."

"S-Sakura." I wish it could've come out better and not stuttered like…like Hinata.

"It's a pretty name," he said, smirking. With every kind word and sweet thing he said, I was about to cry. Not from being flattered, which I was, because I had never gotten this kind of attention before, but because he was so far out on the other side of the line that it was nearly impossible for me to revert him back to the straight status!

"Thanks," I murmured. I picked up my fork and kept jabbing at my salad, drinking my coke and trying not to slurp. He must think I have awful manners.

"How old are you?" he asked. I stopped picking at my food. Took another sip of soda.

"I'm seventeen. You?"

He didn't respond back. His pretty, shiny lips made a small "oh," as if he was surprised or something. "You look much older than I thought you were. Maybe mid-twenties."

"Is that a good thing?" I said, confused. Did he mean I was an attractive mid-twenty or an old mid-twenty?

"Yeah, it's great. You're very attractive, so I thought…" he saw me blush, and I could see the _faintest _tint of embarrassment on his cheeks, too. "Never mind."

"Oh. Thanks," I said, hoping to end this awkward dialogue. He kept on eating, his bangs in front of his dark eyes, like they were staring into my soul. I could feel my panties get warmer (how embarrassing, I know!) and I crossed my legs because my thighs felt hot and…I shuddered.

"You alright?" he asked. He held out his arm to touch my shoulder, and I flinched. I tensed up even more.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. I looked at my half-eaten salad and realized I wasn't so hungry anymore. "I'm going to go now. But thanks for everything," I said.

"Are you sure? You don't seem very happy right now. Is there something wrong? I know that you don't know me very well, but you can still talk to me if it'll make you feel better."

With this, I nearly burst into tears and held onto his shirt, sobbing tearlessly into his chest and having him nervously rub my back as the whole food court turned to stare at us.

"This is going to seem really stupid," I choked. "But I…I just can't face reality!"

"What reality? Sakura, you're scaring me right now."

"I know, I'm scaring myself. I hate how I'm acting like this. I promise, I only came to the mall just to buy some lotion! I didn't know it would turn out like this. If I knew, I…probably still would've come anyway, because you're just so hot, and…" I paused. Thought about what I said. Realized I was clutching onto his chest and pushed him away, sighing nervously.

"Just ignore everything I've said," I muttered. Sasuke wanted to say something, but he didn't. He looked like he didn't know if he wanted to touch my shoulder again, but he didn't. Instead, he pulled out a pamphlet from his pants pocket that he recently got and put one in my hand.

"I'm sorry that you feel this way. I hope that I don't remind you of a bad ex-boyfriend or something. And I also can't say that all of us have just randomly broke down in a food court…" he whispered, looking around to see who was still staring. "But I hope that you feel better. Why don't you read this and see if that cheers you up? Anyway, I probably have to get back now. Please don't be upset anymore." He ruffled my head with his hand and left, leaving me to just think about the craziness that had just happened in less than three hours.

My name is Haruno Sakura.

I'm seventeen and have _never _had a boyfriend, let alone a first kiss. And when I saw this guy here, who just clicked with me…it was like heaven. Until I found out he was gay.

And I promise, I have _nothing _against gays. It's just that…I lost the one chance I had to probably live happily ever after. Or the one _close _chance. There are probably tons of guys out there who would love me back as I love them. Hell, I don't even _know _this guy but I knew that we had chemistry.

I dusted the invisible dust off my clothes. Stood up. Looked at my watch and the pamphlet in my hand. I really wanted to throw it into the trash, but instead, I crumpled it and put it in my purse. I didn't feel like buying lotion today.

So I went home, knowing that I would never see Sasuke again.

.

.

.

"Fucking hell!" Sasuke shouted as he ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep inhale and a big exhale, and sat down as he saw Kakashi ready to pack up for the day.

"What's wrong, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked as he zipped up his bag. "Someone slap you or something?"

"No," Sasuke muttered. "It's just that…" He turned to Kakashi and said in a serious manner, "You won't laugh if I tell you, will I?"

"No promises," Kakashi said. Seeing Sasuke's distraught face, he immediately sobered up and said, "Okay, what's wrong, kiddo?"

"This girl…"

"It's always a girl," Kakashi sighed. "I remember when I was your age…"

"No, you know what? Shut up. I won't say anything." He crossed his arms and folded his legs, and Kakashi knew how bad Sasuke felt.

"I'm sorry. Tell me?"

Sasuke took another deep breath. "This girl that I just met. Sakura—you know, the one with pink hair? I saw her, and I was just…mesmerized. She was so beautiful, Kakashi, and I know it's cliché to say this and I sound like a total hopeless romantic, but we just had _chemistry_. Our eyes met. And ever since she's seen me, I think she knows what happened between us. But she just felt so uncomfortable around me and I don't know what I did wrong."

Kakashi paused for a second. Thought over the question. "Well, we _were _handing out pamphlets for gay rights. And you're honestly a very pretty boy, if I do say so myself." Sasuke glared, but he continued. "You probably fit the typical gay stereotype and…sometimes, you dress like one too," he said, eyeing Sasuke's multiple earrings, bracelets, and his almost feminine beauty, adorning his masculine figure. "She probably thought that you were…_gay_."

"But I'm not! I'm just raising awareness."

Kakashi shrugged. "Sorry, kiddo. I really am. You two would have been cute together. But you're probably never going to see her again."

Knowing that this was most likely the truth, Sasuke leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. He looked up at the ceiling as Kakashi continued to pack up and thought about what just happened in the last couple hours of his life.

_"Sakura_", he said, the tip of his tongue meeting the bottom of his teeth. "Cherry blossom."

.

.

.

I took a look at the pamphlet when I got home and dropped all of my bag items onto my bed. Lying down, I opened the pamphlet gingerly and began to read.

It was the same old stuff: you can't choose to be gay or not, gays should have equal rights because they're still people…

I didn't mind gays. In fact, they were some of the nicest people I've ever met (Sasuke, especially. Damnit, Sakura, stray away from the topic!). Not all of them were all rainbows and glitter, and not all of them were feminine, but…

I groaned, dropping the pamphlet. Sure, I support gay rights. I haven't thought about the topic thoroughly, but I know that I don't hate them. I don't hate anybody. I just really, _really _dislike people. But not gays.

But Sasuke…

He treated me like no other guy ever had in only a few minutes. He gave me comfort, advice, and a shoulder to cry on (literally) without even knowing who I was. And hell if he's gay. He was a wonderful person and very sweet. And I blew it by _freaking _out.

I need to apologize.

I grabbed the phone book from the kitchen, running down the stairs and tripping on something, landing face-first on the floor, but it didn't matter. I got back up and went through each yellow page, not knowing what his last name was but instead finding it by first name.

"Sachiro…Sasori…ah, Sasuke! Shit, there are three of them. Which one do I choose? Hiro, Uemara, or Uchiha? I'll go in order, then…" I picked up the phones and dialed, knowing that once I pressed the call button, there would be no going back or hanging up.

But I knew which one would be which by the sound of his silky, soft voice.

"Hello?"

This one was gruff and seemed harsh. But to be polite, I said, "Is this Sasuke-san?"

"Yeah, who is this?"

"Oh. Sorry. Wrong number." I nervously ended the call. Screw manners. He would probably trace it back and see that I had "pranked" him, sending an assassin to kill me in my sleep for disturbing him. I dialed the next number, hoping this conversation would go better.

"Hello?"

This voice was hoarse and croaky, like a frog's, in a way. I knew that it wasn't _my _Sasuke. But I tried to say something to fill in before I hung up.

"Uh, are you the guy who gave me a gay rights pamphlet?"

"What are you _talking _about?"

"Oh. Sorry about that." I hung up again, feeling shivers run down my spine. I knew which Sasuke would be the right Sasuke, and now that I knew, I was afraid to call. But I forced myself to pick up the phone and enter his numbers.

One ring passed. Then two. Then three. Four came. And then five…

"Hello?"

It was the voice I had heard only a few hours ago. It was smooth, flowing like river water, and I nearly came by just hearing him say a simple greeting.

"Hi." My own voice was whispered and hushed. "Hi," I said louder. "Sasuke?"

"Who is this?" he asked. Did he honestly forget me already?

"It's, uh…" I coughed, clearing my throat. "It's Sakura. We met today, at the mall?" Gosh, I really hoppe he doesn't think I'm a stalker or something because I called him.

It was like his voice brightened up. "Sakura!"

"Uhm, yeah. So listen, Sasuke, I'm really sorry about today. I mean, I want to thank you for everything: the food, the comfort, the spaz attack…but most of all, I want to apologize. I might have overreacted when I saw you handing out gay rights pamphlets. It's not that I have a problem with gays. I like you the way you are. You're sweet, kind, gentle, and very caring, and…I don't know, something just _drew _me to you when I saw you coming up to me."

"Sakura—"

"Wait, let me finish. So I'm really sorry that I treated you the way I did. I know this is pretty weird, finding you in a phone book and calling you like this. I just don't want you to think that I'm an anti-gay. Because I'm not. Hell, I love yaoi and anything of the sort, and…"

"Sakura, I'm not gay."

I was about to keep rambling on how I love yaoi mangas, but I stopped and froze, like a deer in headlights. "What?"

"You thought I was gay?"

Oh, wow, this is embarrassing. I would have twisted the phone cord with my finger if wireless phones weren't invented. Instead, I twisted my hair.

"Uh…"

"I can understand why you'd see that. I had this conversation with Kakashi already—you know, the guy with the gray hair? He would've thought I was gay, too. But I'm not. I just support gay rights. It doesn't mean I _am _gay."

"Oh."

"You seem speechless. Are you alright?" There he goes again with the kindness. Le sigh.

"I'm fine. Hey, why don't you and I grab some coffee tomorrow? Unless you're busy handing out pamphlets…"

"Sounds good." I _swore _I could see him smirk. "I'll meet you at Starbucks at twelve."

"In the mall?"

"Where else?" he said, chuckling. "Oh, and I'll also get you some of that lotion that you wanted. It's in Bath and Body Works, right?"

I froze up again and nearly hung up. "No, just coffee is cool. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Sakura."

I hung up. Thought for a moment. Then screamed.

I really want to kiss him. Hard.

.

**one week later**

.

We've been dating for about a week now. He and I have gotten more comfortable with each other, despite the fact that I hate him for being so much more beautiful than me. He's a GUY and I'm a GIRL. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK THIS WAY.

We've kissed several times during that 7 day period, but nothing below the neck. I've done a little of above-the-waist fondling for him, but he's not allowed to touch me anywhere below my shoulders. I'm still a little self-conscious.

Anyway, I know that we're official by the way that he lets me hand out gay rights pamphlets with him as he smile and sometimes kiss in between. I can honestly say that I really, really like him, no matter how cliché our meeting was and how short our getting-soon to-know period was too. But it's okay, because I know that we'll be together for a very long time, if not forever.

I wouldn't mind if he was gay, because honestly, he's still wonderful. But the fact that he's mine makes it even more so.

So, as I became one of the things I used to make fun of, I thought to myself and smiled. Then watched as Sasuke handed out a pamphlet to a woman, who smiled at both of us.

"Your boyfriend is so cute! May I ask who's the man in the relationship?"

My jaw dropped.

* * *

**please dont be offended, anyone. i like gay people and some of them are my best friends. not all are stereotypical but anyway, they're awesome and i love them!**

**i hpoe i didnt offend any of you. sorry i havent updated in over a month. my life has been so hectic and i've been in tears for about 5 out of 7 days of the week LOL. i promsie i will update scar tissue soon and it will be done and then i''ll work on another project or whatever.**

**I LOVE YOU ALL PLZ REVIEW. like srsly, reviews (20+ would be awesome. i'm getting lesser and lesser reviews LOL) are my drug. like they're our sasusakus. WOOT**

**this was a really crappy chapter, imo. great prompt, awful writing. hopefully i wont have to rush later on.**

**thak you all for reading and please review! and thanks to everyone who helped me through this you know who you are!**


	44. Lovesick

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-four. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o44: **Today, I went to the doctor becase my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny, I don't play tennis." Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well, I guess we solved this one." FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I went to the doctor's because my arm hurt. When he said I had tennis elbow, I laughed, saying, "Funny. I don't play tennis." Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said no, so then he smirked and said, "Well, I guess we solved this one!" FML.

* * *

**.o44.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**L**_o_v**e**_s_i**c**_k_

_._

My mother says I need to socialize more. She says that I have a stick up my ass (really? You say that to your son?) and that if this behavior keeps up, then I'll be a virgin forever. Surprising, right?

I won't deny that I'm good looking, but a virgin? Forever? Unbelievable. To help me in her quest for grandchildren, she often uses her fingers to twist my lips up into a creepy, contorted smile, and tickles me until I beg her to stop, laughing on the ground as I'm covering my sides. Believe it or not, I'm ticklish. And I squeal like a little girl when I _am_ tickled.

But when she isn't there to be the Dumbledore to my Harry Potter, I just keep doing what I'm doing. Hands in pockets, look down at feet, hmph at everyone. Don't smile. Give a smirk if you want to "try" and be flirty, or if you just want to make fun of somebody, but no. Don't twist your lips.

I _live _by that rule.

Anyway, I was finishing up my fifty page paper for my English assignment. It was due a month ago, but I decided to procrastinate until last week and I've been spending over four hours a night on the computer, trying really hard not to go to YouTube and listen to music videos or watch funny clips of fat people falling off the toilet. In fact, I made myself _block _the sites I wanted to go to in fear of not finishing my project.

So I've been typing ,rewriting, revising, and doing just about _everything _for the past…let's see, seven times four…is twenty-eight hours. For 28 hours, over a day and a sixth, I have been at the computer in the dark in my room, staring at the screen and becoming angry for not knowing what to write. It's due in three days.

I save frequently in fear of having my progress deleted, which would be a _nightmare_. It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

But now, I got up to take a break, do a couple jumping jacks, stretch, and then, I felt a stinging pain in my elbow. I hissed, put my right hand on my left shoulder and felt the tender flesh of my wenus (I'm serious. I think that's the actual name for it, though it's not medically proven) and pinched it. Even though it has few nerve endings, my elbow still hurt when I moved it around. I rolled my shoulder and felt my elbow continue to sting, so I stopped.

I went downstairs into the kitchen to get some ice and put it in a Ziploc-bag so I could continue to type as my arm was feeling soothing relief. My mom saw me, and she asked, "Sasuke, what are you doing?"

"Getting ice," I said. I opened the freezer with my good hand. Damn, it's hard being one-handed!

"What for?"

"My elbow hurts."

I expected my mom to say, "Oh, honey, let me kiss it to make it all better! Mwah!" like she used to when I was younger, but instead, she looked at me and said, "Don't be a pussy. Besides, I need ice to cool down my tea."

"But—"

"No buts. The only butt I want you to have is back upstairs doing your homework."

"Fine." I closed the freezer and sighed, walking back up the stairs. I paused for a moment, wincing as my elbow hurt even more with each small movement, and I grabbed my car keys as I walked back down the stairs and towards the kitchen table. "I'm going somewhere."

"Where?"

"I dunno."

Mom frowned. But it's okay, because I was running out the door and starting the car, ignoring the pain of my elbow, because it's not _nearly _as bad as watching her run after me with a spatula in hand.

.

.

.

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked as I reached the doctor's office, going up to the receptionist's chair. I almost fell over in surprise. My eyes widened slightly.

"Sakura?" I said, my voice cracking a little bit. Good Lord. "What are you doing here?"

Sakura blushed, and immediately looked left and right, as if somebody would overhear. Then, she whispered to me, "Students aren't allowed to have part-time jobs. Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't," I said. This was really awkward. Sakura and I had went out once in pre-high school. It was pretty weird. She asked me, I said yes, we went out to eat, and then she kissed me on the cheek and we never really talked that much again. Of course, my mom was angry at me for blowing it, because she actually _liked _Sakura (though I don't know who she'd compare it to, because Sakura was the only girl my mom had seen with me). She was a really nice girl, too, and very pretty. But like I said. It was awkward.

"Thanks." She smiled at me and sat back down, pushing buttons on the phone and said in a hushed whisper. "Yes, Uchiha Sasuke? A walk-in? Yes, he's a registered patient here. Mmhm. Okay. Thanks." She hung up the phone and looked at me with those sweet green eyes. "The doctor will see you shortly." She seemed so professional saying that.

"Thanks," I said. I sat down in the waiting room and picked up a magazine, in fear that whenever I would look up, her eyes would bore into me, as if saying, _YOU FUCKING DUMPED ME, AND YOU WILL DIE._

Quickly I took a celebrity gossip magazine and was pretending to read it, staring into the pages at Kim Kardashian's breasts. Every time my eyes looked up from the magazine, which was about once every five or six seconds, I could see Sakura giving me a funny look, that tilted smile that she gave me a long time ago.

My eyes were back at Kim's cleavage and I heard footsteps towards me. I held the magazine even tighter to my face.

"Sasuke-kun, you're reading it upside-down." She took the magazine from me and put it in my hands right side up, laughing softly. "Kim Kardashian, huh? I never knew that you were interested in her divorce."

"She got _married_?" I said. Realizing what I had said, I covered my mouth and cursed. Sakura laughed again and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah. Anyway, just wait here for a little bit. The doctor will be with you shortly." There it goes again, more professional tones. I swear, if I'd never seen her before in my life, I would have to think she was mid-twenties. She had that elegant, classy look to her that most women would never get, especially the girls at my school. But she held her head up high, her posture was nice, and she always had a nice smile on her face.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked as she took out her iPhone and looked at herself using the camera app. She wiped invisible specks off her soft skin. I only know this because her cheek pressed against mine when she kissed me.

"No," I said. I flipped pages, hoping that she would leave me be and that we would only see each other in the school hallways from here on out.

Luckily for me, she went back, her heels clicking against the tile floor. I felt like she could be a businesswoman because she was so…what's the word? But the sound of her shoes against clean surface. It was almost _peaceful _to hear.

Fortunately, I wasn't the only person in the waiting room. There were a couple holding hands, a mother with her two twin babies in the carriage, and five kids screaming and running around. My ears hurt and I wish I had brought my iPod, but instead, I kept flipping through the magazines to look at different women and comparing their breasts.

I looked back at Sakura, whose breasts were peeking out the top of her shirt. I remembered in middle school how everyone would laugh at her for being flat. But I guess it was better to wait than to develop early, because now her breasts were bigger than any other girl's in the school and all the guys that had previously made fun of her were now begging for her to come and play doctor with them too, I suppose.

Then, with my boner standing straight up, I leaned over and clenched my stomach as if I were in pain. I wasn't. But I'd do anything to stop the boner alert. Obviously, thinking about my ex-date slash classmate's boobs weren't really helping the situation.

"Are you alright?" she asked as she walked up to me again, her heels clicking. Damn! I tried to straighten up as much as I could without showing that it was obvious my penis responded to her full chest. I tried to cross my legs. But guys never do that. I guess I was the 1% (get it? _Get it?_).

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You looked pretty pained to me. If you need to, I can get the doctor in earlier…"

"No. Actually—" I began. I made a quick list of pros and cons in my head. "Yeah. Get me a doctor, please."

"Sure."

She took her pager out of her belt and began to type a message with the stylus. She paused and then said, "He'll be with you in a minute, I promise. Feel better, Sasuke." She walked back to her desk and I saw how each time her feet touched the ground, her back was raised even higher and she had that sense of pride that models envied.

"Thanks," I murmured. My dick still wouldn't stay down. Bad dog.

.

.

.

Finally, after what seemed like forever (it was actually two minutes, but it'll seem like forever when there's a pretty girl in the room and your cock is about ready to burst out your jeans), the doctor pulled me in. I had to fake the stomach pain and bent over a little bit so that he couldn't see my erection. How embarrassing would that be?

"So, Uchiha-san. Nice to meet you. What seems to be the problem? Are you faking stomach pain or took one too many Viagra?"

"What?" I asked. I was ticked off. How did this son of a bitch know? He only had one eye open and the other was covered by his old gray hair (cool it, grandpa) and his face was in a mask.

"Suffering from erectile dysfunction? Alright, just lie down on the bed and let me take a look at your peepee…"

"Hey." I smacked his hand away. "I'm fine. It's my elbow."

"Your elbow?" he took it in his hands and felt it up and down in a way that one could perceive it as _erotic. _I shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah. It hurts—agh!" I said, _yelping_. Yelping being the keyword. I never yelp, but he just touched me in a hurtful spot.

You can perceive that any way you want to.

"You have tennis elbow. Do you play tennis?" he asked, taking out his pen and scribbling down a few notes. I scoffed.

"No. And that's funny, 'cause I don't play tennis."

The doctor paused. He looked back at me (mostly my crotch) and back at his notes. Then, he said, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

I scoffed again. That was totally irrelevant. But I had to told him anyway.

"No."

Suddenly, he did something I didn't expect him to do. He threw back his head and _laughed_. A full-out, hearty laugh coming from the throat.

"I guess we've figured out our problem!" he said, trying to catch his breath as he fell down the physician's stool. "And I can see why! That Sakura girl is a real treat. She's a very beautiful woman. In fact, if you don't pursue her, I can always take her for a ride…"

Oh _hell _no.

FML.

.

.

.

"I was _joking_," the doctor, Kakashi (as said on his nametag), said, rubbing his cheek. "Boy, I've got to be at _least _fifteen years older than her. Age may be just a number but jail sure ain't nothing but _just _a room."

"Hn." I put my hands in my pockets as my penis had settled back into its resting spot. Sitting on top of the cot, I folded my arms and stared at him, waiting as he could do something for my hurt elbow.

"So aren't you gonna give me some medicine?" I asked, feeling my arm hurt each time I moved it. Kakashi looked at me, back at my elbow, and then at my crotch again.

"Why? You just _punched _me."

"You deserved it, you pedophile," I muttered. Instead, I fumbled out an apology. "I'm sorry," I said, half-heartedly. I know that this guy could sue and that I could lose thousands from his stupid words so I sort of meant it. I tried to not let my insensitive side show, but like always, it happened.

Kakashi shrugged. "Fine." He scribbled a few more notes down and said, "I'll be back with your prescription." He left the room, his white lab coat sailing behind him like a superhero. I smirked. Then thought of Sakura again. Sakura, waiting outside this door and down the hall, taking "orders" for other patients…other _male _patients.

I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't let her fall in love with another guy and then go on an awkward date with him before they got married and eloped to Vegas. No, I decided that she would be _mine _and only _mine _(seriously, where do my ideas go? They develop so quickly). I hopped down from the cot and raced out the door, only to meet face to face with Kakashi again.

"Don't leave yet! I haven't given you your testicular cancer check up!" he said. I froze.

"_What_?"

"I'm just joking. Here, take one right now and I'll send you more later on in the mail. Now, here are your papers…and here's the office number. Call my extension if you need to ask a question. But otherwise, please don't."

He waved me off, smiling and wiggling his fingers. I think he might have even said "toodle-ooh!" but I'm not sure. I really hope he didn't.

I stared at the blue pill he gave me. Then, while approaching the water fountain, I took it.

Wiping my mouth, I had a job to do. And it wouldn't be pretty.

.

.

.

"You're done, Sasuke? Great. Can you fill out these forms—ah!" She stopped midsentence as I grabbed her wrist and led her to one of the empty doctor's rooms. I locked the door and she looked up at me with confusion, frustration, and…fear?

"What the _hell _do you think you're doing?" she said. "I had patients and you embarrassed me in front of everybody!"

I shrugged, but held her shoulders in my hands and gripped them tight. She froze, and I saw her tense up as she held onto my forearms. Her simple touch was enough for me to want to kiss her hard.

"Sakura," I said. Then, I thought and loosened my grip. Hell, I'd _finished _the plan but I really didn't know what to do _after _it. I probably should have thought ahead. Like I did with my essay.

"What, Sasuke?" I saw her fold her arms and looked down to see that her cleavage sure was pretty deep…

"Eyes up here," she growled, and I forced myself to look at her face. Not worse, because she was beautiful. Although her tits were pretty magnificent, too…

"Sakura, can I ask you something?" I said. I put my arms on either side of her. She froze up again and opened her mouth to talk, but no sound came out. Her lips moved and there was obviously air flow, but she wasn't loud enough.

"What?" she finally asked.

"Do you…" Shit. How do I say this? "Do you still like me?"

It should have been clearer, but it actually came out like "Doostullickmeh?"

"Excuse me?" she said. "What did you just say?"

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "Do you…still like me?"

I saw her limbs freeze again, like she was rigid or a board. She flinched when I touched her shoulder gently, and took my hand away. She wouldn't meet my gaze and I knew that I had hit a weak spot of hers.

"Why should I have to answer that?" she said. "I thought we were over. One date and that was enough. Right?"

"It probably was a long time ago," I said. "But now's different. It's not enough. Not nearly. I realize how much I actually…_want you_." I said that softly and hoped she didn't hear it. I felt my face turn red and realized that I was _blushing_.

"Want…not just in the sexual way?"

I blushed harder. Looked at my toes. "Yes."

I saw how she let out a deep breath. And then she finally spoke. "Why so late?"

"Because…" I paused, trying to make sure I didn't sound stupid when I actually said it. "Because I didn't know that what I had would be so great until it wasn't mine anymore." Fuck. Way to sound decent, Sasuke. Pat on the back and a Nobel Prize.

Sakura loosened up under my fingers. "You really mean that?" she asked.

"Yeah."

I saw her hands reach up to touch my chest. They hesitated before her fingers found their way to the buttons on my shirt. I took her elbows gently and looked at her. She seemed scared.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She took her hands away and rubbed them. She was breathing heavily and I stepped back to give her some room. After all, I hate it when people get into _my _bubble, too.

"This is all happening really fast," she said. Her voice was barely higher than a whisper and I had trouble hearing her. "I don't know what to do."

"You don't need to do anything," I said. It had been twenty-five minutes already and I _still _hadn't felt the soothing effects of my tennis elbow pain medicine.

She looked up at me. I could see the true color of her irises: forest-green, almost, and shining. They were like pools of liquid emerald.

Then, she wrapped her arms around me and put her head to my chest. She gave me a tight hug and she stood there for a moment. I didn't know what to do. I thought she would have slapped me or kissed me or took off my shirt so that we could have wild sex, but I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

Suddenly, she pulled away and I didn't know why. Sakura looked down at my crotch and blushed before turning her head. I didn't know what was happening until I felt my dick spring up and crush my jeans. And then it hit me. That blue pill _did _look pretty familiar…

"Sasuke?" she said, her voice quiet. "W-What…"

But it didn't matter. I could sue that son of a bitch later for giving me Viagra at a crucial time like this. Instead, I took Sakura by the waist and kissed her hard as I felt her big tits crush against me while my erection pressed against her stomach. After being surprised, she relaxed and put her hands on my cheeks, kissing me harder as I lifted her up and pressed her against the wall. Her thighs wrapped around my waist and she was tugging at my hair, moaning as I cupped her breast with one hand.

"You're beautiful," I murmured, our tongues touching. "Unbelievably beautiful. I can't believe I haven't seen this before."

I could feel her smirk. "Thanks," she murmured. She pulled back and wiped a lock of hair (seriously? I should be an erotica writer instead of doing my stupid 50-page paper) from my face. Sakura felt her pager beeped and wanted to be put let down, so I did (unwillingly). She tapped a couple buttons, fixed up her looks so that it seemed as if we were _this _close to having sex, and kissed me softly on the cheek.

"I've got to go see other patients," she said. "I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun."

I growled. "Are they guys?"

"Who?"

"The patients. Are they male patients?"

Sakura looked back at her pager. "No. Today it's all female. The other receptionist has the male patients, so you don't have to worry. And plus, none of them are you, anyway. You're irreplaceable."

I wanted to kiss her again, but she moved before I could and looked back down at my crotch. "You, uh, should get that checked." Then she gave me another kiss on the cheek and left.

So not only was I suffering from tennis elbow, erectile dysfunction, _and _dog-syndrome (you know? On WebMD? Where someone you love leaves you by yourself and you whine for a little bit and wait sadly until they come back and you wag your tail?), I was suffering from a case of crazy, stupid love.

I opened the door and called out for my doctor.

"KAKASHI!"

.

.

.

_Warning: Anyone with an erection lasting more than 4 hours needs medical assistance immediately, because of the risk of tissue damage which could cause permanent loss of potency._

But it didn't matter much, because nearly ten years later, we've got two kids and a dog while I've got a beautiful wife. She's the Kim Kardashian to my Kris Humphries, except, you know, we're going to be together forever.

I still haven't recovered from this crazy, stupid love.


	45. Sext Me

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-five. third person.  
******FML o45: **Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Mikoto decided to have a mother-son chat with Sasuke. She looked nervous and uncomfortable, and only after she left did Sasuke realize that he had left the naked pictures of Sakura on his desktop in full view. The entire time. FML.

* * *

**.o45.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**S**_e_x**t **_M_e

_._

The lights were dimmed and the only thing Sasuke could see in his dark room was the glow of the computer screen. His shorts were to his knees as he sat on his computer chair and he held his manhood in his hands, lotion and tissues next to keyboard. His lips curled up into a half-smirk, half groan of ecstasy, and he threw his head back and moaned as his fist kept pumping up and down his erection.

Naked pictures of his long-time (and only) girlfriend Sakura blazed on the screen. She leaned towards the camera, a suggestive smile on her innocent face, and pressed her breasts together with her arms. He saw how her nipples perked up and how turned on she was. The picture opposite it was where her legs were spread wide apart and how she was touching herself with her finger while she sucked on her other one. In the next, she was playing with her boobs, taking her nipples in her fingers and rubbing them while placing a—true story, really—banana between her tits, sucking on them while she held the fruit tight.

In the same email, she had attached a short video clip of her masturbating to orgasm. Sasuke, ready to cum himself, paused to click on the link and open it up in his Movie Player.

Sakura was on her bed where they had made love so many times before. With the camera in front of her, she bent in the doggy position so that he could see her ass rising in the air above her head, and her small pink nipples turn hard as she rubbed them against the sheets. She moaned as she fingered herself from behind, her eyes closed and her lips parted with desire. Sasuke was almost there. He kept rubbing his own member while he saw how his girlfriend pleasured herself while he wasn't there.

She changed positions and made sure her pussy was right up against the camera. With her finger, she thumbed her clit, moaning and throwing her neck back. He could see how sensitive and swollen and _wet _she was by the way her juices overflowed on her finger, now inserted into her womanhood. Soon, she added two, and even had the ability to add one more. Sasuke pumped faster at the sight.

He saw her jolt and knew that she was about to cum. Making sure that he would try and finish at the same time, he turned up his volume and watched how her fingers went faster and faster, rubbing her swollen bud as he continued to pump his own cock harshly, feeling the burst of relief that was pent-up. He, too, closed his eyes, but knew that he and Sakura had both came as she shrieked in delight, her fingers soaked, dripping to her palm. His own shower sprayed everywhere, and he wiped himself up with tissues, the white contrasting with his black clothing. His penis had turned limp until he saw that the video was still playing, and that Sakura was licking her fingers.

Sasuke turned hard again and cursed.

.

.

.

"I hate you so much," Sasuke muttered as he received a kiss on the cheek from Sakura when he picked her up. "Really, I do."

She laughed and playfully pushed his chest. "Why would you? I'm so lovable. Besides, you _know _you love me. Don't you?"

Sasuke sighed. He couldn't stand being mad to Sakura any longer. He cracked, gave a small smile and kissed her forehead softly. "You're right. I do love you." He pulled her into a hug. "But sometimes you annoy the _shit _out of me."

He felt Sakura giggle. "That's my job!" She wrapped her arms around him and he looked down into her low-cut shirt to see her cleavage, cursing as he felt his jeans tighten and Sakura pull back, that cute "What is this?" face put on.

"Something wrong, Sasuke-kun?" she asked, her voice teasing. "You seem…I don't know. Stressed." Her fingers ran up and down his crotch and he had to bite his lip in order to not do what The Lonely Island did…you know. _Jizzed…in my pants._

He couldn't take it anymore. Dragging her into the backseat of his car while he went into the driver's, he put in his keys and drove towards the nearest empty parking lot he could find. There would be no one to interrupt them and they would experience a new place to have sex—in the backseat.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked. "What are you—agh!" She felt his weight on top of her and squealed, watching as he struggled to fit into the small space of the backseat. He cursed, moved the driver and shotgun seats up forward so that they had more room, though there still wasn't a lot.

"Damnit!" he muttered, straddling Sakura. "I can't fucking take it anymore!" He looked into her eyes and watched how her chest heaved up and down with every excited breath. "You're making me crazy." Sasuke tucked his bangs behind his ears. "Really."

Sakura laughed as she gently pushed Sasuke off. He fell with a large "oomph!" and brushed himself off, trying to readjust his body in the cramped seat.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked. Sakura fixed her clothes. She opened the car door and pushed him outside, motioning for him to get back into the driver's seat. Sasuke frowned and got back in after fixing his clothes so that he wouldn't seem out of place. He continued to drive, and Sakura put a gentle hand on his forearm. The touch sent shivers down his spine, though he knew that it was a loving touch, not a sexual one. At the nearest red light, he leaned over and kissed her softly.

"I love you," he said, smiling. Sakura smiled back, her lips ready to form the words. She got halfway into her sentence when the car behind them honked, and Sasuke realized that he was holding everybody up. Frustrated that he hadn't heard Sakura's confession again (it was like music to his ears…besides her moans, literally) he cursed and put his foot on the pedal. Sakura took his right hand in her left and kissed it. "I love you," she murmured.

Sasuke smiled.

.

.

.

"Agh," Sakura groaned as she lied down onto his bed. "I feel so tired," she muttered.

Sasuke dropped his stuff in the corner of his room and straddled Sakura once more, feeling his crotch sear with pain. He smirked, hair falling in front of his eyes. Sakura put her hands on his neck and smiled.

"Do you want to go to bed together?" he asked seductively. His voice was hoarse and he was turning Sakura on so much. She threw her head back as his lips pressed against her neck, kissing her hard and biting the soft skin.

"Sasuke-kun!" she shouted, wrapping her thighs around his waist. Sasuke began to thrust into her, and the only thing that prevented them from actually reaching pure ecstasy was their clothes.

He pulled up her shirt below her breasts and cupped one in his hand, licking the soft skin and watching her struggle against him.

"Shit!" she muttered. "You're making me horny, you son of a bitch," she yelled. Sasuke laughed at her presumptuous behavior and kissed her forehead, ruffling her hair.

"But you like it."

Sakura sighed. "I do."

Before they could actually finish what they had started in the car, they heard hard knocking against the door and Mikoto's cries of, "Who are you calling a bitch, Sasuke?"

Fuck.

.

.

.

"Hide in the closet," Sasuke said, pushing her into his room.

"What? Wait—what are you—" she began. He shushed her and took her clothes, throwing them in with her. Then, he pressed his back against the door and tried to bar her from escaping, giving the door a small kick since he needed her to be quiet.

"Just wait there a few minutes, love. I'll be done really quickly, I promise." He heard the closet door stop banging, and he breathed a sigh of relief before quickly dressing, brushing his hair, and opening the door to let mother dearest in.

Mikoto sniffed the air. "It smells awful in here. What kind of perfume is your girlfriend wearing today?" Sasuke tried to hide his nervousness. Mikoto walked in, looking at the half-made bed and smelled his pillows.

"Mom?" Sasuke asked. "What the _hell _are you doing?"

She put the pillow down and looked up at her son innocently. "Just making sure that I did a good job cleaning." She looked around for any traces of the girl he had over.

"So where is she?" Mikoto asked.

"Gone," Sasuke lied. He made sure to look proud and confident so that she wouldn't know he was lying. Mikoto raised an eyebrow.

"And where exactly is she? Did you throw her out the window again, Sasuke? You know how badly my rose bushes got beaten up."

"Not this time," Sasuke admitted, remembering with a small chuckle how he had to force Sakura out the window half-naked. Apparently, his sheets weren't a good enough rope. It always worked in the Disney movies.

"And she's not in the bathroom either," Mikoto said, looking at her son's bathroom. Suddenly, Sasuke sort of _wanted _his mom to realize that the most obvious place she wasn't looking at was the place where she needed to look. But he kept his mouth shut. He could imagine Sakura holding her breath and shaking, and he wanted to comfort her.

"Fine." Mikoto began to walk out of the room, before he said, "We're going to have a chat later, alright?"

"Hn."

He bid his mother adieu (in French, too), and, when the coast was clear, he let Sakura out of the closet.

She breathed a sigh of relief and hugged him close. "Never again," she muttered as she kissed him softly. "I swear, if you make me go there again…I'll gladly jump out the window instead. I still have the scars, too, if you'd like to see them."

"No. I'm okay," he said. He kissed her forehead. "That was close."

"I know. Why does your mom not like me, anyway? She'd met me once before and now she automatically thinks badly of me."

Sasuke shrugged. "She's probably jealous because you're so beautiful."

Sakura laughed. "That's such a lie. Your parents are probably the prettiest people on earth. No joke."

"Whatever." He eyed her body, which was adorned only in a half-buttoned blouse and an unzipped skirt. "Shall we finish what we started?"

"Son of a…" she began, softly. He smirked and pushed her back into the closet.

.

.

.

He drove Sakura back to her house after placing her in a trash/body bag on the way out (no joke, he actually did), and kissed her a final time. She smiled before taking out her phone and pressed some keys frantically.

"What are you doing?" he asked. She pursed her lips and didn't respond, until he leaned over and tried to see what she was typing. Too late! The _Send _button was appearing and he frowned, wanting to know what she was typing until he heard his phone buzz. He checked it, saw it was from Sakura, and looked at her with the "Are you serious?" face. She smiled innocently.

"You have a message. Why don't you check it?"

"You could have just told me. I'm right here."

"Check it anyway!"

He opened the message and nearly dropped his phone. In the text there was a new picture of her in one of his shirts, and the two other attachments were her in a lacy white bra and matching panties, while the other was her in a garter, topless.

"Sakura? What the hell!"

"You don't like it?" she pouted. "Awwh. I'm sorry. And I worked so hard to find out what I could do to please you!"

Sasuke felt his crotch burn again, though he had already just had sex (and it felt so good!).

"I hate you so much," he muttered.

"I know," she said. She gave him a final hug and a kiss on the cheek before waving goodbye, leaving Sasuke to stand there with a hard-on, wondering what he would do when he got home. But first, he sent them to his email so that he would have full size to work with. Pun intended.

.

.

.

It was nearly eleven pm, and for some reason, Sasuke didn't feel tired at all. In fact, he felt energized. Maybe it was because he had a dirty little secret he didn't share with anybody, or maybe it was because Sakura had sent him more photos and he couldn't wait to use them for his own needs, or maybe because it was something combining the two.

Sasuke remembered the pain of eating together at the dinner table, half-bending over in pain because his boner stuck up from his pants. He ate with one hand, trying to make himself go down with the other while his family looked at him with uneasiness.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Fugaku asked. "You don't look well."

"Do you feel sick, honey?" Mikoto asked, forgetting all about her tough-mom act for the moment.

"If you're going to puke, please do it on your right," Itachi said, hoping to not get vomit on his new coat covered in clouds.

"I'm fine," Sasuke tried to say. "I've just got a stomach cramp."

"Ah, it's that time of the month again," Itachi said. Mikoto kicked him under the table and Itachi was forced to do the dishes while she gave Sasuke a blanket, a headcloth, and a Tylenol (which he stuck in his pocket).

Life was good, but his erection still stuck up from the blanket, too.

.

.

.

There they were. The pictures of Sakura in her half-naked glory. She looked so beautiful, and Sasuke was still thankful that she was all his. He didn't know which one he wanted to open first. Did he want to go sexiest to sweetest? Or vice versa? If he did the sexiest to sweetest, he could get off more in the beginning, but if he ended with sweetest, he'd feel dirty and a little frustrated. Then again, if he did the opposite way, it would take a longer time to get to that rush but easier to end in a champagne shower…

Sasuke turned off his LMFAO playlist and thought about it for a moment. Then, he decided to go from sweetest to sexiest. Afterwards he wouldn't have that Sakura-innocent-guilt he always had whenever he went the opposite way.

He opened the picture of her with his shirt.

.

.

.

Sasuke began to stroke himself softly to the picture of Sakura. She had a small smile on her face, and her eyes looked into him, reading "into his soul." Her hands were fingering the hem of his shirt softly, scrunching up in her fists, and suddenly, he began to stroke harder. He cursed, feeling that he wasn't going to last long, so he moved onto the picture with the white bra and panties, which would _also _lead to his guilt because white was the color of innocence and yet she was acting so naughty…

"Fuck," he muttered. "You're such a tease," he said to himself. His fist pumped faster and faster, and he began to groan, hoping that nobody could hear him. Sasuke bit his lip to keep from moaning the whole house awake. He moved on to the picture where her breasts hung perfectly from her chest and her legs were crossed in front of each other while she moved her arms out of the way so that he could have a better view. Sasuke, feeling that burst of adrenaline, began to pump even faster than before. He felt like his hand was on fire and that he would explode if he didn't finish. His hand hurt, his dick hurt, and his lip hurt, so what did he do? He was just happy to let it all out. He moaned, threw his head back, and felt his hand ooze with sweet, hot stickiness. Using a dirty pair of boxers, he cleaned himself and then froze when he heard a knock on his door.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?" Mikoto asked.

"Fuck!" he muttered to himself. Running quickly to the bathroom to wash his hands, he combed his hair, fixed his pants and shirt, and sprayed cologne on his computer and again near his groin."

"Sasuke-kun, do you feel sick?" Mikoto asked. Sasuke sat back down in his computer chair, hoping that his mom didn't find anything wrong with him. Mikoto, however, seemed a little nervous and he wondered what was making her feel awkward. She pulled up another chair from his study-table and faced it towards him, trying to avert her gaze from the lower half of his body and part of his face.

"Do I have something on my skin?" he asked, trying to wipe his face away with his clean hand. Mikoto shook her head.

"No, listen. Okay. I guess we'll have the chat here." She sighed. "Sasuke-kun, you know I love you a lot. I love you more than any girl ever could. Now, don't snicker. It's not polite," she said as Sasuke tried to hide his smirk. "And I know you have a girl in your life that you…care about, intimately," her eyes averted again and she looked up at the ceiling. "Though I don't know about romantically. Anyway, I just want to let you know that…I care for you. I love you. I just don't want to see you get hurt, Sasuke."

"I know," he said. He smiled, too. "Thanks, Mom." He leaned in for a hug, but Mikoto pulled back. "I, uh…I think you should go to bed. I'm going to go sleep." She thought of some way to apply an act of affection to her son, but couldn't think of any without touching him, so she told him she loved him again and left.

Sasuke tried to think what made the conversation so awkward. His mother refused to look at him the whole time. Could it be that…she knew that he was masturbating? Surely he wasn't _that _loud, was he?

And then he looked back to his computer, realizing that the pictures of Sakura, _all of them_, were still on his desktop. In plain view.

FML.

.

.

.

Sasuke woke up, feeling part of his face numb. When he looked in the mirror to wash his face, he realized that left side was covered in waffle marks from the keyboard. He rubbed them with lotion and slapped himself awake, realizing what had just happened the night before.

"Holy fucking shit," he muttered, everything coming back to him. "Please tell me that it wasn't a dream," he prayed. But the evidence was there. The dirty boxer shorts. Less cologne than before. The outside of the sink was still wet, and at breakfast, Mikoto refused to look at her son.

"We're fucking screwed," he said, placing an important call to Sakura, not even bothering to respond hello back to her. "I fucked up really badly and it's partially your fault, you little devil."

"What did I do?" she asked.

"You sent me those pictures, which led me to screwing the hell out of myself, which led to my mom finding out _about _you and about how I touch myself to your naked pictures every night when everyone's asleep. Which, by the way, she saw."

He expected her to freak out and yell at him, but instead, he heard a pause on the other line. Then, in a quiet voice, she said, "Did she like them as much as you did?"

Sasuke slapped himself in the face.

.

.

.

"This is serious, Sakura. She's never met you before but right now she has a pretty awful opinion of you."

"Why? Because I'm a slut?"

"No, and you're not. She's just afraid that you might crush me into a total deep depression when you break up with me."

He heard Sakura laugh and cursed, realizing that she didn't know how heavy the situation was. "Please, Sasuke-kun," she began through tears. "You know that I'd never break up with you. Ever. And plus, you'd probably be the one to break up with _me_! I can't see you being a real emo. Stereotypically, yes, but in reality, no."

"Sakura—"

"Look, if you feel uncomfortable, I'll go talk to her."

"No! That's probably worse. I don't want you to face her wrath."

"Face her wrath? Really? I bet I could handle her. And if I can't, I'll just send her a card with me on the cover, like the one I sent you for your birthday."

"Sakura, I swear if you send her _any _picture of you, including that card…_especially _that card, I will refuse to touch you for a week."

She laughed again. "Sasuke, we both know you can't handle that long."

"Shit." She was right.

"Sasuke, I'm going to talk to her. I'll see you in ten minutes."

"Your funeral." He hung up and threw his phone on his mattress, obviously upset.

Secretly, he was scared _shitless _for her.

"So you're the whore who's been sending my son pictures," Mikoto said, crossing her arms and legs while facing Sakura, who sat up confidently. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, ma'am," Sakura responded in a strong voice. "I just thought that because we're in a relationship it would be okay to sext him pictures of myself."

"Sexting? Is that what you guys are doing?" Mikoto scoffed. "You have nothing to show, anyway," she said, eyeing Sakura's body. Sasuke flinched, thinking that Sakura would explode on her, but instead, Sakura smiled.

"Sasuke can be the judge of that. Anyway, Uchiha-san. I apologize if my actions have offended you, though Sasuke is the real person to say whether or not it offends _him_. So what do you think, Sasuke?" she asked.

Sasuke choked. He didn't expect her to drag him into it! "I don't mind them."

"That's vague, Sasuke-kun. It's either yes or no," Mikoto said, her face still stern. Sasuke coughed and played with his fingers.

"No, it doesn't offend me," he answered honestly. He waited for her wrath and for the gods to send him up to heaven. "Mom, I like this girl. I care for Sakura a lot. And though you may think she isn't your imagined daughter-in-law, I love her. She's not perfect. She has flaws. She can be a bitch and a tease and a devil in an angel's costume sometimes, but she's been with me through so much and I…I can't put this any other way. I am in love with her."

"Do you really feel that way, Sasuke?" Mikoto asked after a huge pause. "Is she really all that to you?"

"She is." He put a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Please don't talk badly about her again."

"Sasuke…" Sakura began. He could see that she was losing all the confidence she had built up. But it was okay, because he was taking control this time.

"Sakura…it's Sakura, right?" Mikoto began. The couple looked away from each other to put their eyes back on Mikoto, who fidgeted nervously. "Sakura. If you're all my son says that you are, and he really does care for you this much…" Mikoto held out her hand for Sakura. "I guess I can try to accept you."

Sakura smiled, feeling tears ready to fall. She hugged Mikoto tight, and Mikoto, not knowing that to do, put a hand on her back and patted her. "Oh!" she said, letting out a cry of surprise.

"Thank you so much, Uchiha-san," she said. "I promise, I'll treat your son better than you can ever imagine!"

"That's good to hear." Mikoto pulled back. "But please don't send him any more pictures. We're going over his phone bill."

Sakura frowned. But it quickly turned into a smile. "Fine." She held Sasuke's hand in her own and kissed him. "And, while we're at it, I'm sorry that I fell on your rose bushes. I had to get stitches for some of them."

"That was _you_?"

Fuck.

.

.

.

_The screen glowed in the near-black room. It was about eleven pm, and the only light source in the walls was the computer monitor._

_Pictures of the beloved burned onto the computer screen, and Sakura closed her eyes in ecstasy as she pressed a finger down there. Sasuke, in his naked glory, stood in front of her in all sorts of poses, showing off his masculinity. Along with the pictures was an audio file. _

_"Sakura…" he began. "The things I would do to you…"_

_Someone knocked on the door, and Sakura quickly fixed herself up. "One second," she said. "Okay, come in!"_

_Her dad walked in, looked at Sakura, and then looked back at the screen._

_"Who in fucking _hell _is that?"_

* * *

**i am SO FUCKING SORRY. i know i haven't udpated in a month and i'm really, honest to God sorry. i've been loaded with schoolwork (i know you get that excuse all the time, but honestly, i have.) i haven't been able to sleep for more than 6 hours at a time and every day is like hell.**

**i missed you gys though, i promised. and thanks to a deviantarter who reminded me...i dont have your screenname right now but you know who you are, so thanks!**

**please review. can we get to 900? **

**again, i'm awfullyi sorry. i hope you gys enjoyed this chapter. please tell me what you think! and this was reall rushed, so if some parts don't make snese or are just plain stupid, i apologize for that too. TT^TT**


	46. Bull's Eye

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-six. sakura's pov.  
******FML o46: **Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was at the shooting range with my dad. The target was a really creepy guy who looked like a sex offender or something. My dad looked at me and said, "This is for Sasuke." Right between the legs. FML.

* * *

**.o46.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**B**_u_l**l**_'_s **E**_y_e

_._

_dedicated to Pookie Boo for the prompt!_

_._

It would be an understatement if I said that my dad didn't like my boyfriend.

And I would _also _be lying if I was totally okay with it. Because I'm not. Not in the _slightest bit._

To be honest, my dad can sometimes scare the living shit out of me. He may seem like a pretty laid back guy, but trust me, he's the first person to beat the hell out of anybody who makes fun of my forehead or teases me and is ready to kill the guy who makes me cry.

I'm a little scared for Sasuke, even though I know he won't do anything wrong to me. I love him and I know he likes me a lot, too, so all is well. For now.

I don't even want to think about it.

.

.

.

It's true, I am Daddy's girl. It's not like I don't get along with my mom. I do. But daughters are just more friendly towards their dads. Am I right or am I right?

Anyway, I think my dad feels as if we don't spend enough time together. That's such a lie. He made me watch a Twilight marathon for over three hours straight because he apparently likes Taylor Lautner shirtless. This all happened while I had to hand him tissues in the middle of the movie during sad parts and get him more popcorn and also be at his beck and call.

It. Sucked.

There was also that one time that he took me to the mall when I was eight and went to go look at the Swiss watches, leaving me in the middle of the mall playground where I couldn't speak right for my life and sat on top of the slide, crying and blowing snot bubbles.

He didn't even get to me first until a nice lady took me to the kiosk and told them to broadcast my AMBER alert on the speakers. But we did have a nice reunion when he picked me up, hugged me, and told me he'd never leave me again while the security guards were whispering, "Dude, he wasn't joking. His kid actually does have pink hair!"

Daddy Haruno also wanted to take me to the shooting range, his favorite place in the whole world besides the couch. Before he got married, he was number one in his high school for shooting firearms at a target during range practice and won multiple awards without shooting someone in the chest…or lower. Or point-blank. But he gave that all up when he married Mommy Haruno, and they had me. I know that he really wants to go back and shoot some cardboard some more, but if he's going to bring me with him, I swear, I will shoot _him._

.

.

.

It's not like Dad doesn't know about Sasuke. He does. But he just doesn't great Sasuke in the nicest way possible.

So Sasuke will knock on the door. The person who opens it will be my father, and he'll be half-naked in tears, wearing pajama pants and a shirt stained with soy sauce. He'll yawn, and then Sasuke will wait for him to finish and politely say, "Hi, Haruno-san. I'm here to pick up Sakura."

He'll look at Sasuke for a second, say, "What business do you have with my daughter, you son of a bitch?" and give him the glare, to which Sasuke will respond with an equally frightening one.

"I'm taking her out on a date."

"A date? Really? Back in my day, you had to be at _least _twenty to date. And you're what, fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Seventeen."

"Oh, sure, sure. All them fellows will fall in line. I know."

"Sir, are you drunk?"

"No, I'm just…" Father will now commencing the yawning and slurred words. "Maybe a little."

And then he'll fall straight into Sasuke's chest, but Sasuke, being the ninja that he is, swiftly sidesteps it so that my father will fall down onto the welcome mat and pass out before I come out of my hiding place and take his hand. He'll kiss it, smile at me, and open the passenger seat to his car before taking me somewhere expensive.

Not like the gas station, where my dad took me one time as a father-daughter "date" because I complained that he was too cheap with me.

So today, he let his hand linger a little too long on my waist, trailing down to my…ahem. But because my dad was unconscious, I let him touch for a little longer before I smacked his wrist playfully.

"Ow!" he growled, shaking his hand. "What'd you do that for?"

I smiled and kissed him softly. He pushed me so that my back was against his car and we started to make out tenderly, like in those movies. I looked over his shoulder and saw that my dad was still unconscious, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put one his hands on my boob.

"Okay, okay. Hands off, mister." I pushed him away. "I'm not trying to tease you or anything, but can we not do this in front of my neighborhood?"

Sasuke frowned. I could see that he was bulging down there, and he seemed pretty frustrated. "Fine." He got in the driver's seat and I made my way to the passenger's.

I relieved him of tension during the car ride as my hand snuck in between his legs.

.

.

.

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked as I wiggled, making myself comfortable on his lap while I tried to watch the movie I put on. "Could I ask you a question?"

"Sure." I put my arms around his neck. His hands were on my waist, holding me tight.

"Why does your dad not like me? Did I do something wrong to offend him? Or is he just one of those overprotective fathers?"

Sakura paused. She wasn't expecting something like this from Sasuke, whose face was solemn and serious. After a moment of silence, she began, "To be honest, I'm not really sure. I think he's always been protective of me, since I'm his only daughter and kid. So, I mean, he's afraid that you might hurt me or something, which I know you wouldn't do." I gave him a squeeze for support and saw him try to lighten up by giving me one of the fakest smiles I've seen.

"Aa."

The movie soon became background music as he pushed me onto the couch and slid his hands under my shirt.

.

.

.

Thankfully, dad wasn't outside when Sasuke dropped me off. He gave me one last kiss and pressed his lips to my neck, sucking on my skin softly before pulling away. I smiled, being in bliss for a while before I realized with panic that he had just given me a hickey. He was _smirking_.

"Bitch!" I yelled, trying to cover up my neck. "You did that on purpose!"

"I know." He took a lock of my hair in his hands. "You're just so beautiful."

I wanted to slap him (playfully, of course. I would never actually slap him), but he took my hand and kissed my fingers softly. I melted. How could I stay mad?

"I hate you," I muttered.

"I know," he repeated. I realized that it was almost time for my curfew and daddy dearest gets especially pissed if I'm even a _second _late. So I kissed him goodbye and he waited until I was safely in (after all, that's what good, stalker boyfriends do) and then drove off.

"Sakura-chan, you're back!" my mom said, hugging me tight. She pulled back and saw the hickey on my neck. But she must've known what I was thinking because she smiled and put her finger to her lips. "It'll be our secret. I'll get you a cold spoon." She ran off towards the kitchen (where women usually are…just kidding!) and my dad came out of the living room to hug me.

"Sakura!" he pulled me into one of his one-armed hugs. "You're back from the enemy territory! Are you alright? Did he hit you? I—what the _hell _is this?" he held me at arm's length and his eyes began to twitch. I didn't know what was wrong until I saw mom drop the spoon she was holding, cover her mouth, and gape at us. That was when I realized he saw my hickey, and I desperately tried to cover it up. "It's nothing! Just a scrape," I said, panicking. Now, my father had a legit reason to hate him. But still, he could at least _try _and see what an amazing guy Sasuke was.

"That's it. I'm getting the gun." He went back into the living room and came back out with a shotgun, putting fresh bullets in it and walking straight out the door. I tried to run after him, but mom held me close to her and wouldn't let me go.

Dad was walking out the door and was going to kill Sasuke.

I was scared, until he shouted, "WHERE THE FUCK DOES THIS DOUCHEBAG LIVE?"

.

.

.

Dinner was awkward that night, to say the least. I wouldn't be lying if I said that I didn't eat much of my food. Neither did Papa Haruno. He just kept looking at me with those eyes, like, "I can't believe you're my daughter. I didn't raise a whore."

And Mama Haruno tried to start up some lively conversation by asking how everyone's day was. Which was obviously a bad decision. Also, the spoon she was waving in her hands back and forth wasn't exactly the greatest way to divert everyone's attention, as was the large scarf around my neck.

Half of me hated Sasuke for giving me this stupid hickey, but the other half liked it. I felt naughty and mischievous, like a bad girl.

Holy shit, maybe I _am _becoming a whore. Crap.

.

**the next afternoon**

.

"Get away from my daughter, you sex offender," Dad said as Sasuke knocked on the door, waiting to come pick me up. "Don't come here ever again or I will call the police on you." He was ready to slam the door into Sasuke's face before Sasuke quickly propped it open with his foot.

"Sir, I don't understand what you're talking about. Are you drunk again?"

"Not this time, but that's not the point." I saw Dad snarl. He bared his teeth and growled. I'm not even joking. He was growling, like a dog.

Then, he reached out and smacked Sasuke across the face. I watched from behind the doorway and gasped.

"What the hell, dad!" I yelled. "You can't do that!"

"Just watch me," he snarled. Sasuke didn't even flinch. He was standing there with a big red bruise forming on his cheek. Instead, he looked at me with something I'd never seen before in his face. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't exactly the happiest person either.

"Look at this," my dad said, taking my shoulders and pushing me in front of Sasuke. He pulled off my scarf and I tried to hide my hickey from him, but Sasuke saw it and I saw a great big smirk appear on his face. I tried to motion for him to stop it, but he kept on smirking, as if he was proud of what he was doing.

"So?"

"You son of a bitch." He slammed the door on Sasuke and went into the closet to grab his—

_He's going to shoot Sasuke with the shotgun…_

—keys for the car.

"Out of the way, boy," Dad said. He grabbed my wrist. "Come on, Sakura. We're going shooting."

.

.

.

The guys there apparently knew Dad by first name and crude nicknames, since the terms "Son of a bitch" and "Porridge brain" came up a lot while Dad responded with "Nice to see you too, ladies!" while they all came and hugged each other and offered Dad a sip of their German beer.

Then, the guys gave my dad a gun (and by the way he was caressing it…no joke, _caressing_, it seemed as if he had been parted from his buddy for a long time) and gave me a starter pistol. I didn't know what to do with it, and thankfully the safety was still on, because I probably would have killed everybody there with scatter bullets. It's a shame I don't play Call of Duty with Sasuke, because otherwise I would be pro at guns.

"Let's go, Sakura. Bye, horse-asses!" He took me by the shoulder and dragged me towards our private range, where there were several cardboard targets at the end of the long hall. Then, he showed me the basics.

"So here's where the bullet comes out, obviously," Dad mentioned. "And here you pull it, and…" he fired a shot after loading his bullets and it landed straight in the heart. Papa Haruno cheered and shook my shoulder.

"You see that, dear? Your old dad's still got it in you!"

He began to shoot again and again, the targets changing after each fatal shot to the heart and point-blank. I watched from the background, and was a little scared to see how good he actually _was_. And I held the gun in my hand, turning it around slowly, remembering that I said I would shoot him if he brought me here. The problem was that I didn't know how to fire a gun and probably shoot myself in the face instead, or at the fire drills on top of the ceiling, causing a shower.

"Sakura, come here." He was looking through his eagle's eye as the really creepy target (I swear, it looked like one of those guys from America's Most Wanted) began moving from left to right quickly. His eyebrows furrowed and he seemed deep in concentration. I kind of wanted to poke him, but went against that idea.

"See here?" he said. "This douchebag is going to hell." Then, he turned to look at me. "This is for Sasuke."

Right between the legs.

If I were a guy, I'd be begging for death right now.

FML.

.

.

.

What's scary was that Dad didn't even flinch, even though he was a guy. He just sat back and stretched his arms out, and I sat back down, crossing my legs tight and biting my lip.

"Sakura, I don't think you should see that guy anymore. He's not a good influence. And plus, he's ruined your innocence!"

_My innocence has been ruined a long time ago, Dad…_

"Uh huh."

"How do you know that he isn't off seeing other girls? Does he do the same to them as he does with you? Trick them? I can't stand that sort of guy."

_He's not like that, Dad._

"I'm going to shoot him in the face."

"Don't!" I yelled, getting up. With quick reflexes (I'm not even sure how it happened, but it did), I pulled the trigger.

In Skyrim terms, let's just say that he _took an arrow to the knee_. Literally

And fell to the ground.

.

.

.

"Dad!" I yelled, going up to him. He was in the fetal position on the floor and holding his leg to his chest. I didn't see any blood, but I wasn't sure. Maybe he was applying pressure to the wound.

"Damn BB guns," he muttered. I looked at him and back at the gun and realized that it wasn't an actual _actual _gun. It was one of those guns that the little boys get when they shoot metal cans down.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"Of course it hurts! It's still a gun!" he growled. I frowned and helped him up. He put his arm around my shoulder and I nearly fell down from how heavy he was.

"I'll drive you home," I muttered. The guns were left on the floor.

.

.

.

Dad was silent the whole way back, which was kind of awkward. He was sitting in the backseat so that he could stretch out one leg and hold the bad one to his chest, and I kept looking back through the mirror to see him wince in pain, though honestly, he might have just been looking for attention.

I opened the garage with the car remote and was driving in, until I saw Sasuke come out of the garage. I screamed, honked, and swerved the car in surprise as he came out nonchalantly, holding an ice pack to his cheek.

The car didn't sustain much damage because it landed on the grass, not on an actual wall or anything. I slammed the car door shut after I got out and started yelling at Sasuke.

"What the hell were you doing in there? You could've gotten hurt! I could've gotten hurt! My Dad could have…" I looked back to see that Dad was limping out of the car. "He could've been _more _hurt!"

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said. I could tell that he had something else he wanted to say, so his sorry wasn't actually a _real _sorry, but I accepted it for the time being. "But anyway, I'd like to talk to you, and your dad…if he's in the mood to talk right now."

"I don't ever want to talk to you," he muttered, still limping. "After what you've done to my daughter."

"Haruno-san," Sasuke began. "I love Sakura."

Both of us paused in our tracks, but Sasuke remained confident and emotionless.

"I know how she feels about me already. She returns my feelings. And I care for your daughter as much as you do, sir. I understand what my true feelings are right now, and I don't know how else to express them without saying 'I love you.'"

My mind couldn't process anything that was happening.

"I know that you don't like me. I'm not very sure why, but after today, I can kind of see why. It's just that…" Sasuke frowned. He took a deep breath and I saw that he wasn't exhaling. "Your daughter is…she's a woman. How else can I put this without crossing the awkward boundary? She's amazing. She's smart. She's beautiful. And she loves me, too. Perhaps you had a similar conversation with your wife's father?"

I turned to Dad and expected to see him blow up anger at Sasuke. Instead, Dad looked as if he was nervous or embarrassed or even…ashamed. He kept looking at his toes.

"To be honest, you son of—I mean, Sasuke…yes. Many years ago, I had the same conversation with my father-in-law. And I'll be damned to hell if my words weren't the same as yours."

"Did you ever give Mom a hickey?" I asked quietly. Dad ignored me and blushed furiously, which made me smile.

"Anyway," Sasuke began. "I understand if you don't like me. But I'd like to keep dating your daughter, if you agree to that. I wouldn't be the same without Sakura." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me tight to him.

Dad opened his mouth to say something, but closed it quickly. He said, "You know that I think you're trash."

"Yes sir."

"And that you've got a lot of guts to make my daughter the way she is…" he motioned to my neck, which I covered up quickly, blushing.

"I understand."

"But I think I could side with you just this once." I felt tears rush up to my eyes and yanked my way out of Sasuke's arms into my father's.

"Thank you so much, Dad," I said, crying into his shoulder. "I love you so, so much, you know that? And I'll always be your little girl, I promise."

"I know." He put an arm around my back and pat me slowly while he shifted his weight onto his good leg. "But if something happens, just tell me and I'll get the gun."

"Nothing bad's going to happen, sir," Sasuke said, putting his hand out for him to shake. "I promise."

Slowly, Dad put his hand in Sasuke's, and they gave each other a firm handshake before separating.

"Sakura?" he said slowly. "The car's still in the grass. And…" he looked at Sasuke's, uh…and then back at me. Then, he cocked his fingers, made a loading sound, and fired at his crotch. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. I groaned.

"Well, I'm going to go in," Dad said, continuing to limp to go inside. "You kids have _safe _fun," he said, emphasizing the safe. "And Sakura?"

"Yes, Dad?" Sasuke put his hand in my own and intertwined our fingers.

"I love you, sweetheart," he smiled. Then he left.

"What was this thing all about?" Sasuke asked as my Dad left, repeating the cocking action he did with his fingers.

"It's nothing," I laughed. "Just don't piss him off." I put my arms around his neck and kissed his bruised cheek gently, which he winced at. The ice pack was thrown on the ground.

"I love you," he said directly, cupping my cheek.

"I love you, too." I pressed my forehead to his and kissed him softly, to which he responded to eagerly.

The car was forgotten in the yard.

.

.

.

_"What do you think of this dress for prom?" I asked, my dress having an icicle cut on the side._

_"It's pretty!" Mom said, clapping her hands as I twirled._

_"I think it's too—wait a minute, what's that thing on your thigh?" Dad asked, getting up to inspect my leg. "Is that what I think it is?"_

_I panicked. "No, it's not a hickey—" I said as I saw Dad go into his closet where his prized guns were._

_A moment later, he shouted, "I still don't know where this fucking douchebag lives!"_

* * *

**i really need to update quicker.**

**i hope you guys liked this chapter! pookie boo especially. bring on the prompts!**

**REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE YOU  
**


	47. Elevator Music

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-seven. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o47: **Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could reven react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying. I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was on the elevator when I saw a beautiful girl come in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I gotta go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could say anything she said, "Sorry for lying. I just wanted to hang up." FML.

* * *

**.o47.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**E**_l_e**v**_a_t**o**_r _M**u**_s_i**c**

_._

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having a bad day. So far today, I've been waken up with an annoying and broken alarm clock at around 5:50 am today, tripped while trying to get dressed (two legs through the same pant hole. Really, Sasuke?), fell down the stairs face first, and I've half-burned my hand while trying to cook breakfast (really? Can a guy not get a fried tomato in the morning with his tea?).

And then I drove to work while grabbing my hoodie and putting it over my head while also getting my shoes. It was only on the subway that I realized that I chose the wrong shoes to wear and was stared at by everyone because I looked like the confused scene boy in a hoodie with his hands in his pockets and mismatched converse/dress shoes.

It's around noon right now and I'm outside my work building, realizing that I forgot my ID card to scan in. The security guys who usually say our usual "hns" to each other can't recognize me and think I'm a hoodlum trying to break into a multi-million dollar company. Even taking my hood off like the guy from Assassin's Creed, they think I'm someone else. So it was really bad when I had to climb in through a window on the third floor using a ladder, overcoming my fear of heights.

I fell on the floor, hoped no one saw me, and brushed myself off. I decided to take off my hoodie, but I realized that I was still wearing the T-shirt I wore to bed last night and…shit, was I wearing jeans? What was this, casual Friday? I needed to leave as soon as possible and change back at home, but I didn't have the time and I wouldn't have been able to go without anyone seeing me.

I decided to take the elevator. So, looking right and left for anyone that could have identified me even with my hoodie on, I ran towards the lift and frantically began pushing the buttons, cursing that this was a slow elevator and there were at least forty floors in the building.

The elevator opened, and I sighed a breath of relief as I closed it quickly and slumped down. I looked up at the ceiling and realized the security camera was still there, watching me. I froze and turned my head away from the camera, pulling my hoodie over my head even more.

My office was on the thirty-fourth floor and with the rate that these company elevators were going, it would take me about ten minutes. I crossed my fingers and hoped no one I knew would come in the elevator while still holding my back to the camera.

Thirty seconds passed, according to my Rolex (which was probably the only decent thing I had on). The elevator said it was on the seventh floor, and then I heard a small beep. My heart sank, realizing that the doors were opening and someone was coming in.

Someone was coming in.

I pulled my hoodie even further over my head and looked down at my feet so that they wouldn't be able to see me. But I heard a woman's voice. She pressed the thirty-third button. With my head still covered, I looked to the right, where she was. She was wearing high heels about four or five inches tall, and…well, she had the most beautiful feet I'd ever seen.

I don't have a foot fetish, but really, I just wanted to kiss each one of her toes.

I looked up even further and my heart skipped a beat. Her hands were long and slender, perfect for…_ahem_. And her waist was so thin I could easily wrap my arm around her. Her breasts were, needless to say, perfection, and her lips, the way she was talking…oh Kami. Oh Kami. Not now. Please not now.

"I know, right? I can't believe her. How does her husband not know she's cheating on him? Oh, Kira, sorry, I got to go. There's a really cute guy on this elevator," she said. I felt her eyes on me and I pulled my hoodie down even further. I could feel the fabric rip.

Before I could even react to what she said and look up, she said, "Sorry for lying. I really just wanted to hang up."

"No problem," I mumbled. I bent down so that she couldn't see my hard-on, and turned away from her.

The elevator reached the eleventh floor.

.

.

.

The beautiful woman kept humming a song that my mom used to sing to me in my childhood. Her voice was harmonious, and I really wanted her to sing something with words to get rid of the stupid elevator music stuck in my ears to pass the time.

The elevator was on the fifteenth floor. It had been around three or four minutes already. I cursed, thinking I could have saved even more embarrassment if I ran up a billion flights of stairs.

"So," she began. "I'm Sakura."

_Sakura…? _

"What's your name?" she asked. I didn't respond.

"You don't talk? That's okay. You probably don't know me because I'm signing up for a job interview. I've been wanting this position for so long and worked really hard for it. I'm really nervous."

I still didn't say anything.

"Hey, are you alright?" she put her hand on my shoulder, and before I could yank her away from me, I felt my hood slip off. Her eyes widened.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked. "Is that…is that you?"

I quickly covered my face again, not knowing where to turn. Towards the camera where the security men were probably laughing at me, or towards her to face utter embarrassment?

I faced towards the camera.

"Sasuke, don't turn away from me!" she tried to turn me over so that she could see me, but I wouldn't let her look at me like this. Especially since my erection was still pretty visible.

"Go away," I muttered. My voice sounded hoarse and I coughed to make it seem deeper and more confident instead of the pussy I was being.

"Sasuke-kun!" She finally went around me to look towards me and stepped on my toes so that I wouldn't turn again. "Hey!" she said sharply, holding my hood so that I couldn't put it back on.

"I haven't seen you in forever," she said. "Not since high school. Not since college, either. Don't worry, I don't have that silly crush on you like I used to have," she said, smiling. "But it's been a while. How are you?"

"Hn."

"Still the same old Sasuke. So," she said, examining my fingers. "You're not married?"

"No."

"Engaged?"

"No."

"Dating?"

"Why am I even answering?" I muttered. I pushed her off and put my sweatshirt around my waist so that my boner could kind of be hidden.

"So no?"

I sighed. "No."

"Me neither. I've had a couple boyfriends, but you know, it was nothing serious. Just a few kisses and when they tried to go to second base, I…well, you can understand the rest."

"I guess."

_She is still a virgin._

"Any girlfriends?"

_Lie. Lie. Lie. You're fucking a really hot bitch with huge tits._

"No."

_I'm still a virgin._

"Oh."

She got off my toes. The elevator was now at the seventh floor.

I looked at her with both eyes. She was in front of me and I nearly choked.

She became so unbelievably beautiful with confidence unlike the awkward, nerdy flat girl in high school with the glasses and the stutter.

"Wow," I murmured.

"Sorry, did you say something?" she asked.

"No."

We stood in silence. I felt that the elevator was going even slower.

"You've gotten really handsome," Sakura said. "I know this is weird, not having seen each other for a year or two, but you've really kept your beauty. Shit, did I just say that? Ugh." She put her hands over her ears. "Please just ignore everything I've said. I can't keep my mouth shut."

Through that confident, extroverted exterior, I saw the shy girl who used to proclaim her love for me. And I wanted to hold her instead of ignore her like I used to do. I wanted to put my arms around her.

And I think I did.

She removed her hands. "Sasuke-kun?"

I didn't hear her. The elevator was now at the nineteenth floor. I put one hand on her cheek. The other in her hair.

"Sasuke…?" she began. She didn't get to finish, though, because I slammed my lips onto hers and ran my hands through her hair before fulfilling my fantasy of wrapping my arms around her waist.

They fit perfectly, like it was meant to be there. She was "mmphing!" against my lips, and I realized that she was in pain, so I let go. She pushed me off and caught her breath.

"Sasuke!"

"I'm sorry," I began. I didn't know what came over me. Really, I didn't. She was just standing there, tempting me…and…

She was crying.

Holy fucking shit, she was crying and I think I was the cause for her tears like I was so many years ago.

"Sakura…" I said.

"Please, Sasuke." She sobbed and I felt like the security men watching us through the camera were having some fun watching this real life Asian drama.

"Sakura, don't cry."

_That's what I said before._

"I can't," she said. "Sasuke, I still like you. I like you a lot. And I'm only here because I found out that you worked here too, and I wanted to be with you so I quit my dreams of wanting to be a doctor and came here to try to find you and now that I've actually found you I've been trying to act natural as if I didn't care but…" she stopped to catch her breath. "I never actually planned what to do now that I'm here."

"Sakura." I put my arms around her and held her tight to me, resting my head on her shoulder. "Calm down."

She squeezed me hard. Then, she looked at me with those pools of emerald and I couldn't control my damn self.

I kissed her again. I felt her tears run down her cheeks as she tried to hold them back while she wrapped her arms around my neck. I took her legs and wrapped them around my waist while I gently moved her against the wall so that she had support on her back while she then put her hands in my hair.

"We can't do this," she breathed out as I kissed her neck. "Sasuke-kun, not here…"

"Sakura…"

I kissed her again before moving back to her neck, sucking the supple skin and watching the mark turn purple.

"The elevator—someone's going to see us," she moaned as my hand went up under her skirt.

_The camera._

"Wait." I untied my sweatshirt with one hand and threw it over the camera. There was no way in hell I'd let them have a porno, too.

"And the elevator—"

I pressed the emergency button, watching as the elevator froze in place. Sakura jolted as the lift fell a couple feet, but she held onto me and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Don't be afraid," I said, burying my head on her shoulder. "I'm not going to hurt you this time."

Her voice got quiet. "You promise?"

"Not this time. Never again."

_But I'd probably never see her again after this…_

"Okay." She put her arms back around my neck and kissed me softly. I pushed her back against the wall and used my tongue to probe her mouth open so that I could kiss the inside of her lips. Her hands went down my chest, over my T-shirt, and then slid under them. She moaned softly when her slender, long fingers (the ones I wanted to hold really badly then) touched my abs.

"Can I?" I whispered softly as my hand was on her thigh, creeping up under her skirt even further than before.

"Yes," she whispered back in heat, removing my shirt so that I was half-naked in an elevator with my crushee. I put my hand up and felt the elastic band of her panties, while her most secret part was warm and wet. I pressed two fingers against her.

"Oh!" she said, throwing her head back. "Sasuke—"

"Does it feel good?" I asked.

"Yes, yes!"

I put my hands on her hips and pulled her shirt up, feeling hard at the sight of her white, lacy bra. Carefully, I pushed the cups up and held her breasts in my hands, watching her breathe as they moved up and down. I kissed them softly before taking one in my mouth and sucking on her nipple, tonguing it until it was hard before moving to the next one.

She arched her back so that I could suck and knead her better. Her hands were clawing on my back and I was so hot and horny and ready for her…

I kissed her lips again. Looked into her eyes.

"Don't stop," she begged.

"Sakura, are you okay with this?"

"Yeah. I am. If it's with you, I am. I just didn't want any other guy to do this to me if it wasn't you…" she began.

I kissed her softly, holding her face in my hands.

Then, I brought down her panties and threw them with the rest of the clothes while she kicked off her stilettos and undid my jeans.

.

.

.

"I don't have a condom," I said.

"It's okay," she murmured. "I'm on the pill."

"But I thought you were a vir—" she blushed, and I realized that it was for something else. "Oh."

"Yeah."

She saw my cock spring up and blushed, turning away. Her nipples were hard and her womanhood was wet and ready for me, but at the same time, it still didn't feel right.

"I don't want to hurt you," I repeated. "And if you think we should stop now, we can and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened."

"But I don't want to forget." She pulled me close to him. "I want you, Sasuke-kun. Back then and right now."

"Sakura…" I kissed her forehead, realizing what I felt for her. Back then, it was annoyance. She followed me around everywhere but was too shy to talk to me. But seeing her with all this confidence and poise…she'd grown into a beautiful young woman and was so sweet, so gentle, so innocent…

So pure.

And here I was, having a bad day but going to wreck this angel in an elevator.

I pulled away and covered her up with my shirt.

"S-Sasuke-kun?" she asked. I removed my arms from her and slumped down, using my jeans to cover myself up. She held my shirt to her chest and sat next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

I buried my head in my hands. "Honestly? I don't know. I was having the worst day today, and I came to work all messed up, and then you come back into my life being a totally different person and I realized how different it's been without you and…" I was trailing on and on. "I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt you again."

I expected her to find a way out of the frozen elevator and leave. But instead, she leaned over, took my face in her hands, and kissed me softly.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun," she said. "What happened before was painful, but right now I'm somebody new, and you're still Sasuke."

She put my hand to her breast, and I felt her heart beat.

"Can you feel that? It's showing how much I care for you. How much I want you. How much I've missed you." She snuggled up to me. "We don't have to do this."

I turned towards her. She was giving herself all to me, and yet I was being the girl here, being saved by my prince.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her before laying her down gently onto the floor, using the T-shirt I gave her as a pillow. I loomed over her, straddling her waist while her breaths came in soft pants, and I watched her breasts heave up and down.

_I want you. Not just in the sexual way._

"You tell me if it hurts."

I saw her smile. She held my face in her hands.

"It won't. You promised, remember?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

I went into her. She felt no pain.

Only ecstasy.

.

.

.

I helped her dress and she rested her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her waist, where it was supposed to be, and sat there as I pressed the Help button, to which they responded they would be on their way.

"I missed you a lot," she admitted. "I couldn't stop thinking, 'What's Sasuke-kun doing?' when I was with someone else on date."

I smirked.

"Shut up! You should feel glad." She playfully slapped me. "But one question though."

"Hn?"

"Did you ever…think about me?"

I closed my eyes. Waited for the bomb to go off. But knowing it was inevitable, I said, "I hadn't thought about you much until I saw you today. And then I realized how much you've grown from being…well, annoying, to this beautiful young woman. But you still had that girlish, sweet personality that made you so innocent. I didn't make love to you just for your looks. I did it because…" I looked away sheepishly and didn't want to finish, because I had only found what my feelings were today. There was no way I was going to say them in front of her.

"Because what?" she said, her voice quiet.

"Because…I like you. I care for you." I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "You must think I'm a douchebag."

There was silence. "No, I don't." She held my hand in hers. "Surprisingly, I don't. You could say that I'm…happy."

"I'm happy, too."

She leaned over to put her head on my shoulder. I petted her hair and kissed her forehead while I took my hoodie off the camera and placed it over her as a blanket.

.

**one week later**

.

"I got the job," she said over on our dinner date that I made for her, using three different cookbooks to find out what kind of dumplings to make. "They thought I was perfect."

"That's fantastic," I smiled. "I'm happy for you."

"And, better yet," she said, leaning over to kiss me, "I'm your new secretary."

I smirked. "Then you'll be taking all the calls I don't want to take."

"That's what a secretary does. Plus, as your girlfriend, I'm also going to be checking your clothes that you wear every morning."

I pulled her close to me and brushed her cheeks with my thumbs. She looked up at me and smiled, pulling my hood off so that she could see my face better.

"You're going to have to sleep early if you want to get to work on time and in the right clothes," she said. I kissed her mouth softly, my hands in her hair.

"Who says that we want to sleep?"

I saw her smile.

.

.

.

_It was a dark room. Several men huddled together in order to watch the video on the small TV screen. Some people had popcorn and were chewing as softly as they could in order to hear what was happening. Others sipped their beer quietly._

_"Sasuke-kun, ah! I'm going to—oh, right there…ah!"_

_"Sakura…you're—"_

_"Sasuke-kun…" there was a spurt and then a soft sigh. Through the hoodie, they could make out the figures holding each other close._

_"Tell her you love her already!" one officer shouted. The rest cheered Sasuke on._

_They fast-forwarded when they heard his confession, and then:_

_"Because I like you. I care for you."_

_"…I'm happy."_

_"Me too."_

_It was then that most of the grown men tried to prevent themselves from crying, while others let it all out, bawling and holding each other while patting their backs, saying, "It's okay, man, it's okay. That was deep."_

_The next time that they had an update was when he proposed to her in his cubicle with the soft murmur of an "Aishiteru."_

_Or maybe it was "I shit teru."_

_It was a good thing they got it on tape._

* * *

**sorry if this didn't amek sense or itwas really quick and sasuke was OOC. he kind of was. but i wanted a quck update for you guys because i love you all and because the number of reviews i have is my unlucky number. LOL.**

**i really liked this prompt but i felt as if i coulddo more with it ._.'' anyway, please review! last chapter's reviews made me unbelievably happy. thank you all so much! i love you!**

**keep hose prompts going!**


	48. Girl Scout Cookies

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-eight. third person.  
******FML o48: **Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just ahd rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, a seventeen year old Girl Scout asked Sasuke to buy cookies. She was cute, so he bought five boxes even though he hated sweets. When he went home he realized that the boxes were filled with rocks. He just got scammed by a Girl Scout. FML.

* * *

**.o48.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**G**_i_r**l **_S_c**o**_u_t **C**_o_o**k**_i_e**s**

_._

You could say that Sasuke was having a bad day. Awful, even. It could have been worse if it was raining and he didn't bring an umbrella, but luckily, it wasn't raining.

It was a shame he brought an umbrella, though.

He was late to one of his college classes, making a bad impression on himself after he promised that he would be a reformed sophomore this year. No drugs, no alcohol, no sex…not that he got any, anyway.

So as he hauled his backpack over his shoulder along with his useless umbrella, he walked towards his dorm before realizing that yes, his day could get worse.

"I need to buy tomatoes," he said. He backtracked to the nearest supermarket and went to the corner of the store, putting his things down at his feet so that he wouldn't get robbed and counted his money. Realizing that he didn't get his paycheck from being the barista at the coffee shop he worked at, he didn't have enough money to buy a whole lot of tomatoes, but he had patience.

Even though it was running out quickly.

He took a bag, opened it and waved it a little so that the bag became more open, and put his things back on his back while he went to look at the best tomatoes. There were many kinds, but his favorites were the reddest, plumpest, juiciest ones. And thankfully, there were good ones left instead of the crappy, rotten ones left behind.

Sasuke reached out for some of the best tomatoes and put them in his bag, measuring it often so that he could see if he had to take any of them out or not. However, he was right on target and his day got a little better as he took the money out of his wallet and handed it to the cashier while she measured it for him. She looked like she was in her late thirties, judging by the gray that was beginning to appear, and her wrinkles said that she wanted to go home.

"Have a nice day," he said, trying to be nice. If his day couldn't get brighter, could he at least make someone else's nicer?

He saw a small smile. "Thanks. You too."

Sasuke smirked as he came out of the store, feeling pretty good about himself while he took a tomato and bit into it. The juice trickled down his chin and he wiped it away with the back of his hand, savoring each flavor.

Then, he was bumped into (almost purposely) by a young woman. She was still in her high school uniform, and judging by the color of necktie she was wearing, she was a senior—about seventeen or eighteen years old.

"Hi," she said.

"…Hey."

She held out a bag of multiple colored boxes and said, "Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies? It's…for a good cause."

Normally, Sasuke would just say no, even if the girl was about eight years old and her parents were there, forcing him to buy them. But this girl was cute, and he though she seemed pretty attractive and worth thinking about during sexy-time, so he pulled out his wallet and saw that he had enough for five boxes (less than one tomato, oddly enough).

"Which ones do you want?" she asked, her eyes lighting up at the sight of his money. He didn't know. Sasuke never cared for sweets anyway, but he heard that Thin Mints were pretty popular with his friends and they weren't _that_sweet (I mean, mint. Really?), so he said, "I'll take five of them," handing her the money. She gave him the boxes and smiled.

"Thank you so much, mister," addressing him, making him seem so old. "Your generosity is much appreciated."

"Hn."

Putting the boxes in his backpack, he walked home, feeling a little happier even though his wallet was lighter that he made someone else's day. When he went back to his dorm and locked the door, throwing his backpack onto the bed and putting his tomatoes in the fridge, he lied down on his sofa and sighed, staring the ceiling.

"She was really cute," Sasuke muttered without thinking about it. "Really, _really_cute…" His hand trailed down towards his pants, but he thought otherwise, wanting to eat some cookies first before…sexy-time.

He unzipped his backpack, put his textbooks on the bed while scrambling to find the boxes of cookies that might have been smashed in the process of throwing. He took a box of Thin Mints out. The box itself looked happy and the girls looked like they were having fun, so Sasuke unfolded the tab (huh. It seemed to be already torn off) and reached for a cookie, only to feel cold, hard stone.

"What the hell?" he said as he peered inside the box. There were rocks in what were supposed to be cookies, and Sasuke peered in one more time to see if he was seeing right. He was.

Then, he looked at his other boxes and saw the same thing—they were all tampered with and filled with rocks.

"Son of a bitch!" he shouted, dumping the rocks out. "I just got scammed by a Girl Scout."

In a second, he added, "A _cute_Girl Scout…"

Shaking his head, he knocked himself back into consciousness. "This is insane. I can't believe it. I demand a refund because I am a poor, starving, stressed out college boy who should be drinking and partying with his friends instead of buying God-damn Girl Scout cookies and studying."

He stared at the rocks and slowly put them back in the box. "I have to refund this," he said. "But damnit, I don't even know her name or anything! Hard earned money…lost."

Pushing away everything off the bed, he decided to lie on that instead and rest his head against his pillow, hands on the back of his neck. Sasuke felt his day going downhill again and didn't want to do anything.

"I still have two exams I need to study for, and a reading to do for my class and take notes on it…" the more he talked, the sleepier his voice sounded, and Sasuke could feel his eyes drifting slowly. He struggled to stay awake, but soon sleep enveloped him, and he lied there with his hands still on the back of his neck.

.

.

.

It was eight o'clock and his next class started at eight fifteen. The alarm clock was beeping consistently and Sasuke, once realizing what time it was, jumped out of bed, still wearing the same clothes he did the day before. Tripping over the boxes of scammed Girl Scout Cookies ("damnit!"), he sprayed some Axe underneath his armpits and put on the nearest pair of shoes he could find—flip flops—while running out, trying to get there as fast as he could in order to try and maintain the new sophomore look he promised he would be.

He ran through food carts on the streets and jumped over cracks, running as fast as he could through crosswalks legally before reaching his college and panting heavily climbing up the stairs to his class. Everyone stared at him, but he tried to catch his breath and move to the nearest seat possible. The professor paid no attention and kept writing on the board while Sasuke saw that Naruto, his friend, had saved him a seat.

"Hey!" he whispered loudly while others shushed him. "Sorry," he said. "So, what happened?"

"I woke up late," Sasuke muttered, grabbing his stuff and getting ready to take notes.

"I can tell." Naruto sniffed. "Is that Axe?"

Sasuke blushed. "Yeah."

"Good for you, bro. So anyway, yesterday, I was with Hinata and I saw you talking to some girl outside the supermarket. I tried to wave to you and call out but Hinata said it was rude to ruin your date. From the way I saw it, you didn't seem as if you were dating. You were giving her money, so, like…did she give you a blowjob or something? Because she sure as hell didn't go home with you."

"Shut up!" Sasuke said a little too loudly. The professor turned around to stare at him. "Is there something wrong, Uchiha-san?"

"No."

_Damnit, the professor knows my name. In a bad way._

"Good. Now pay attention or leave." He turned back and Sasuke scowled at Naruto.

"My bad, bro. So anyway. What happened?"

"I was scammed by a Girl Scout. Lost a lot of money. Could have bought half a tomato with it."

"You do know that the tomato prices here are really expensive, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. So anyway, she seemed pretty cute. She had pink hair, right?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said, not paying much attention to it because he was so drawn to her green eyes. "Yeah, she did have pink hair. That was weird."

"Wait." Naruto paused. "Did she, by any chance, have green eyes? And a really big forehead?"

"Uh…" Sasuke thought back. He knew that she had green eyes, but a big forehead? "A little bit. It was kind of cute, though. You know?"

"Oh, shit," Naruto mentioned. "That's Sakura, man! She's so pretty! Yeah, I heard that she used to come by the colleges and supermarkets where the students hang out because they were all so attracted to her and always bought her cookies. But…" Naruto looked down, as if he was embarrassed or pained to tell his own story. "I got scammed. I wanted to buy some Lemonades, you know? Those lemon ones? And…" He wiped a fake tear from his eye. "I got scammed. She put rocks in them. Could have used that money to buy ramen. But, you know, she was cute, so I kind of let it go. A lot of other guys were upset, too, but they knew they couldn't go after a girl, so they just let it go, too…you're not thinking of actually letting her have it, are you?"

"She's done this to other people, too? What the hell!" Sasuke said in a hushed whisper. "That's unbelievable."

"I know, right?"

"Son of a bitch."

They turned back to their notes, but Sasuke wasn't listening anyway. He thought of the girl named Sakura, with the pink hair and the green eyes and the big forehead, who was a master of trickery with her physical assets and her innocence in being a Girl Scout, but also evil too, using her sexuality as a weapon.

Clever woman.

Sasuke checked his schedule and realized that he didn't have any important classes that he needed to be at. Even with his high-upstanding sophomorism at state, he could risk it just this once before the criminal forgot him.

Once his eight fifteen class ended at ten thirty, he was the first one out.

.

.

.

He wondered if she would still be there that early. So he waited at the corner of the supermarket, peering over consistently to see if she was there with her huge bag of rocks.

Sasuke heard the pitter-patter of footsteps and had his back up against the wall, thinking it might have been her. And once he peered over again, he saw that it was. She looked innocent and ready to be devoured by a weird guy who could kidnap her at any time. But Sasuke was ready. It was go time.

Sakura's eyes lightened up with...he didn't know, but it wasn't fear. "Hey! It's you again."

"Yeah."

He stared in front of her and she cracked a smile. "I'm guessing you don't want to buy any more cookies."

"Damn right I don't."

"I'm sorry, but you're not getting your money back anyway."

"Yeah, right." Sasuke reached over to see where she could have hid her money. "Where's my damn money?"

"At home."

"Yeah? And where's that?"

"South."

Her smile kept growing bigger, and Sasuke knew that she was playing with him. Teasing him. He was frustrated, but at the same time he was a little turned on, too.

"Sakura," he said, the syllables flowing out his mouth smoothly, like silk. He said it again. "Sakura."

"Yeah?"

"Give me my money, please." He asked in a more pleasing tone after he had been intoxicated with the sound of her name. "Sakura."

"Maybe. What's your name?" she asked.

"Why?"

"Because you know mine."

Sasuke sighed. "I'm Sasuke."

"Nice name."

"Thanks."

They stood there in silence before Sasuke realized she was purposely leading him off track. "Damnit, Sakura! I need my money."

Sakura pursed her lips and smiled. She put her boxes back in her bag and slung it over her shoulder, her back hunching a little bit due to the weight. Sasuke sighed, helping her take some of them so that she could straighten her posture.

"Thanks," she said. "Let's go." Sakura grabbed his hand and led him in the opposite direction from where he came.

"Where are you taking me?"

"My house. I thought you wanted your money back."

Sasuke pulled away quickly. He did want the money, but at the same time, going into her house when he had just first met her was weird, and plus, she was a sketchy character…he was actually a little afraid, though he didn't admit it.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Forget it." He turned to leave, giving her back her boxes, before she heard her call out his name.

"Sasuke!"

He couldn't help himself. So he turned around again. She put her bag on the ground and fumbled for something in her pocket. When he looked closer, he saw that she had taken out her wallet—the shape of a heart—and counted some bills before handing them back to him.

Sasuke eyed the money carefully, holding it up to the sunlight to see if it was fake or not. When he was satisfied that it seemed genuine, he put it in his pocket. "Thanks," he mumbled.

"No problem. But…" she looked embarrassed now, blushing and turning her vision away from him. "Could you, by any chance, get me something to drink?"

Sasuke would feel guilty if he left her there. Sighing, he said, "What do you want to drink?"

"Anything. I'm not picky."

"Hn." He took up the boxes again and slung the bag over his own shoulder along with his backpack, feeling how heavy it was on him and how badly it must have hurt for her. She trailed alongside him, asking, "Where are we going?"

"My dorm. I'll prepare some hot tea and water or anything else you like that I have."

Sakura didn't seem suspicious at all entering a stranger's house, though when Sasuke was offered to go to hers, he was really wary.

"Sounds good!"

Sasuke struggled not to seem weak and pant under the load of rocks, but he kept his head up and hoped that he wouldn't reach any more red light crosswalks.

.

.

.

"You're really neat for a guy!" Sakura said, observing his room with the Girl Scout cookies she had sold him the day before. "Like, really neat. When I visited other guys' rooms, there was beer all over the place. It was disgusting."

"So you've been to other guys' places?" Sasuke asked, setting down the rocks with a thud and massaging his shoulders.

"Just to look. Nothing more. Why? Are you scared or something?" she teased, pressing her chest up against his arm. He blushed and pushed her off, starting to put water in the kettle and heat it up.

"Of course not."

"Mmhm," she said, wiggling her eyebrows. He scowled, and she laughed, making herself comfortable on the sofa while looking for his remote to turn on the TV.

While the water boiled, he sat across from her on an armchair Naruto had given him for his birthday. She was laughing at a cartoon while Sasuke observed her.

She was a "girl-next-door" kind of pretty. Her hair was thin and soft and flowed in tresses, and her eyes brightened up every time she opened her mouth to laugh. Her skin was milky white and her cheeks were the color of roses.

He wanted to kiss her.

Sasuke didn't feel himself move from the armchair to the couch, hovering over Sakura while his knees were on the carpet and his lips were closer to hers. She stopped laughing, and the cartoon in the background seemed to be music to set the scene.

"Sasuke?" she breathed.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

Sasuke closed his eyes. "I'm not sure."

Then, he leaned in, touching his lips to hers. He expected her to pull back and slap him, and then leave, but she instead brought her hands to the sides of his face and kissed him back. He was still kneeling on the carpet while she lied on the sofa, but she helped pull him up so that they could both try to fit in.

Sakura was a little shocked when he used his tongue to outline her lips, but she opened her mouth anyway, letting him feel her own. He licked the insides of her mouth and the inner part of her teeth before she bit him softly and felt him groan in ecstasy.

"You're feisty, aren't you…?" he murmured softly as he removed his lips to lick her neck. "I like it."

"Thanks," she mumbled back, smirking as she tugged his hair and ran her fingers through it, throwing back her head so that he had a better way to kiss her.

She felt his lips curl up in a smirk, and wrapped her legs around his waist. They continued to kiss for a while longer before they pulled apart, connected only by saliva from their tongues.

"Give me the remote," she said, wiping her mouth. "I want to watch a movie with you."

"Sure."

They turned on the TV, and Sasuke heard her laugh again, smiling as the characters did something stupid and embarrassing. He put his arm around her and she laid her head down on his shoulder, continuing to laugh at various intervals.

He decided he would laugh with her.

.

**the next day**

.

When he woke up, she was gone. He looked around, calling out her name.

"Sakura? Sakura!"

No answer.

He panicked for her, and then for himself. Could she have stolen something? He checked his dorm twice, his heart a little calmer since he had found nothing missing except for the…Girl Scout cookies?

"Sakura!" he called out once more, in case she was hiding on top of the ceiling or something.

Then, he spied the note on his coffee table next to the sofa where they had kissed passionately. In delicate handwriting, it said:

_Call me soon, Sasuke. ^^  
xoxo, Sakura_

Next to it, he found five boxes of Thin Mints. He reached out to open one when his phone beeped, telling him to wake up for his 8:15 class.

He shut the alarm off and took a box, opening it. Inside were genuine cookies ready to be eaten. He looked back at the clock and decided he would miss the class while taking a cookie and nibbling on it.

Sasuke didn't want to be the new sophomore student anymore. He decided he would call her later that night.

* * *

**ugh, could have been better... ._.''**

**a;sldkjfa;lskdjf**

**REVIEW PLEASE 975? =D**


	49. Introduce Me

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble forty-nine. sakura's POV.  
******FML o49: **Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I introduced my boyfriend, Sasuke, to my parents. Everyone knows he's pretty emo, but this didn't stop my dad from looking him up and down and saying, "Honey, you never told us you were a lesbian." FML.

* * *

**.o49.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**I**_n_t**r**_o_d**u**_c_e **M**_e_

_._

I'm never going to be able to show my face again to anyone. Ever. Not my friends, not my parents, and _especially_not my boyfriend. Sasuke. Who I thought would be accepted into my family. Not so.

I'm expecting him to break up with me in about twelve minutes after he's done talking to my parents and explaining the whole thing to them on how being emo is not a "phase," but instead, it's a "way of life." And then he'll go to where I am on the other side of the house and say, "Sakura, we should break up." Then, he'll leave, and I'll put on some Taylor Swift songs and see which one is about an emo boy, because really—she has songs for every type of boy, anyway.

I shouldn't even be writing to you, diary. I should grow a pair of girl-balls and go down there and just explain everything to my own parents instead of having my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend do it for me. But I'm a pussy. And I have one, too. So I'm writing in you with a neon pink gel pen and hearing them talk downstairs while I'm just hoping to block out the sound as much as I can.

I'd still like to look back on our good times together before I brought him home to introduce him to my family (bad decision, Sakura. You should know your own father better, damnit!).

Should I start from how we met? Or when things actually got serious?

What the hell. I'll just start from the beginning.

.

.

.

So we didn't have one of those typical love stories that I _would _have liked, but I was pretty happy anyway. I was at Starbucks, getting a green tea frappucino (those things are amazing. I can't believe barely anybody wants them anymore. Oh well. More for me!) when—this will sound cheesy, but I swear, it's what happened—our hands touched while we were reaching for a straw. He looked at me with one eye through those big, thick-rimmed hipster glasses and bangs covering that other eye and I felt my heart stop for a second. Really. Through those thick lenses I saw dark eyes glaring at me, and once I could get over my fear of him, I thought he was really attractive. Like, incredibly attractive.

Despite the fact he was wearing all black and looked like the Grim Reaper. To some extent, he could be considered feminine, but by the way his hand touched mine and those skinny jeans emphasizing his package…there was no way he was a girl. He was too handsome.

"Sorry," I said, my voice squeaking in fear that he might take a knife and slit my throat. "You can have it." I turned to leave, cursing myself, before he said, "Wait."

So I turned around, bracing myself for the knife.

Instead, he put the straw in my drink.

"Those green tea fraps are good, aren't they?" he said, taking a quick sip before he left. I almost didn't see it if he hadn't wiped his mouth. He's like a _ninja_…in training.

And the even cheesier part is—

I followed him out the store instead of hoping that I'd see him again one day.

.

.

.

He was a little shocked, sure, but apparently those emos have got more shocking things going on than a girl jumping onto a stranger's back.

Especially if she's bright and bubbly and totally different from him.

"Hey—what are you doing?" he asked, trying to shake me off. I held my drink in my hands, hoping it wouldn't spill, and got off, brushing my clothes.

"Sorry. It was a spur of the moment thing." To be honest, I didn't know what I was thinking by chasing him. But I'm glad I did. "You, uh, forgot your straw…?"

"It's yours now."

"But it's got your germs on it."

He sighed, looked at me, and then took the straw out. "Happy?"

"Sort of. What's your name?"

He raised an eyebrow through those glasses and I almost melted. So beautiful. So handsome. So…emo.

"Sasuke. Why?"

"That's a good name. I'm Sakura."

He…_scoffed?_

"Figures. With hair like that," he said, taking a lock of it in his hands. "You're not punk, are you?" he asked. "Some punk girls I used to date dyed their hair the color of yours."

"It's natural," I said, liking how my hair felt in his fingers. "And I'm not punk, either."

"Aa."

He was wearing short sleeves and his wrists were clean, though his skin was abnormally pale. Like a ghost. Or Edward Cullen. Just…a healthy kind of pale.

"So, uh, Sakura. I'm going to go. Nice to meet you, I guess."

_Spoken like a true gentleman!_

But again, I created my own romantic movie but uttering those cheesy, scripted lines:

"TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

.

.

.

I'm still really impressed he didn't run off. He just turned around and smirked (oh my goodness, that _smirk_) and said, "If you can catch up."

I walked really fast and we went out to the parking lot. For some reason, my mother's words of "Don't follow strangers to their vans" wasn't registering, but he didn't have a van. He had a nice car and I made myself comfortable in it.

"Buckle up," he said. Then he turned on the radio and played some loud screamo a girl like me would never have listened to ever.

"Do you mind it?" he asked, ready to turn down the volume. The fact that he was being so nice made me blush, and I said, "No, it's fine." I didn't like it, but I didn't…_hate _it, either. But listening to it with this Sasuke guy made it seem…I don't know, alright.

Okay, freeze.

Present time.

Just writing this down on my journal makes me squeal again, but…I'm feeling tears drip down my cheeks because I know that we might never have these good times again. My parents are still talking to him downstairs and I think I can feel the room vibrating, but I'm just hoping that everybody is still alive by the time this is over.

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah. So then he took me to some kind of punk concert and introduced me to his emo friends. There was his brother, Itachi, a girl named Konan (his girlfriend! And they were really cute together, too), Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, and a lot others, too. They teased me a little but because I was different and not…emo, but they were actually really nice to me and didn't bully me at all. They were just different.

Then Sasuke took me to the front of the concert and I saw people grinding and dancing and making out and even doing the deed on the floor while trying not to get trampled. Sasuke could see that I was feeling a little nervous, so he took my hand and brought me somewhere quieter. Where I could breathe.

There was a lot of alcohol and smoke in there.

"Do you want me to send you home?" he asked. He didn't seem mad that he might have to miss the concert, but genuinely worried.

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Really! I am."

"You don't seem fine. Let's go out and get some fresh air."

He put his hand on my waist and then led me out. I could finally breathe, but he kept his hand where it was. I could feel that place burning up with heat.

"You're interesting, Sakura. Usually other girls would have slapped me or left by now," he said, looking up at the sky. "I like that about you."

"Oh. Uh, thanks," I said. He looked so beautiful covered in sweat from partying, his glasses shining with moonlight and his hair still maintaining that spike it had at Starbucks.

Then, he looked at me, put one hand on my shoulder and the other on my cheek, and kissed me.

And I kissed him back.

I've only kissed two boys before—one was Naruto in Truth or Dare, and the second was Sai in Spin the Bottle (which he totally rigged, I'm sure).

I put my hands in his hair and he put his own on my waist, feeling me up outside of my shirt and above my waist. He didn't touch my boobs—because I'm sure he knew that I would have felt uncomfortable—and kept kissing me.

It didn't matter that we had just met a few hours ago. In those few hours, he had taught me how to take risks, how to have fun, and how to go past the rules.

And also how to skillfully jump on a stranger's back without dropping your drink.

Then, we pulled apart, and I said "Wow." I truly was breathless.

He was, too.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Can we sit out here for a while longer?"

"Sure."

I put my head on his shoulder and he put his hand on my waist.

I don't think he minded staying out with me.

.

.

.

We continued to meet each other often and sneak kisses in between. But one day, he and I were alone after his friends (they called themselves the Akatsuki) left. We were sitting on his bed, which was painted dark blue (almost black!) and had posters of several screamo bands, which he had taught me about. I could recognize a few and some of their songs, but not many. It wasn't like I was into screamo. I only listened to it when he did or when I missed him.

Anyway, we were making out, and suddenly he laid my back onto his bed—he'd never done that before—and rolled my shirt to underneath my boobs. I pulled apart and started to breath heavily, asking him what he was doing. He just looked at me and said, "Do you not like it?"

And I, learning how to take risks, said, "It's okay. It feels good." Which was not a lie. I was genuinely in pleasure.

"Can I…?" he said, motioning to take off my bra. I nodded, and he did ever so gently, making me wonder if this guy really was emo or not. My nipples felt the cold air and I gasped before he took them gently into his palms and rolled my breasts softly, warming them up where his fingers were.

"You have beautiful breasts," he whispered softly against my ear while his knee parted my legs. I expected him to pinch them and bite them and suck them furiously while telling me how small my tits were, but he did nothing of that sort of thing. He put his mouth to them and licked them softly, his tongue flicking over them while his hair tickled my skin.

"Sasuke-kun…"

"Stop?" he asked.

"No! Don't—" I began. I put my hands in his hair and tugged them while he continued to suck me.

Then, with one hand, his mouth still on my breast, he removed his shirt and his belt, tugging down his pants while I processed what was going on. Then, his clothes were in a pile on the floor except for his boxers and I realized that we were going to have sex.

"Wait—" I began. He stopped, loomed over me, and I felt my nipple turn hard from the cold, missing the warmth of his mouth.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

Uh_, yeah._

"Are we…going to…" I motioned and he said softly:

"Not if you don't want to."

"You sure? I mean, you seemed pretty into it and I thought…"

"Sakura, do you want to?"

I didn't know. I was at an impasse. But I really cared for him and didn't want it to be with anybody else, so I said, "Yes. I want to do it…with you."

He gave me one of those soft smiles I rarely saw and kissed my forehead. Then, he slid down my shorts and my panties and spread my legs farther apart.

We started to kiss rapidly before he paused and said, "Condom." He reached over his drawer and got one, struggling to put it on before I helped him.

I knew that he had had a couple other girls in his bed before. I knew that he had sex with them. I knew they were like him—emo, punk, goth…and they listened to screamo, got tattoos and piercings, and went with him to concerts—but that didn't matter, even if I was the opposite of them.

I really loved Sasuke, and I think that he cared for me too. He might just be using me and then dumping me if that was what his plan was all along, but for some reason, I feel as if it's okay. Because I really do like him.

He was in me when he stopped kissing me, I realized, and pulled out. I was crying without realizing it, and he had a look of worry on his face—genuine worry, like the time at the concert.

"Sakura, sweetheart, what's wrong? Does it hurt? Are you bleeding…?" he asked. He took me in his arms softly. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Just…" he kissed my cheeks. "Don't be upset."

"I'm not upset over that. I was just thinking about something," I admitted. "And…can we talk later? I…" I blushed before muttering quickly, "I want you back inside of me."

"Are you sure? You don't seem good right now—"

But I led him back inside of me, and soon, I had my first orgasm.

It was mind-blowing.

.

.

.

He held me after we made love but gently demanded an explanation for my tears. Unwillingly, I told him, and instead of getting mad, he pushed my bangs back and kissed my sweaty forehead softly, saying, "There's no one in the world who can replace you, emo or not."

"So you're not going to dump me?" I asked.

"Why would you think that? Of course not." He kissed me again. Then, he took my hand and covered me with the blankets before handing me my clothes.

"Where are we going?" I asked, feeling cold without him.

"Starbucks. Let's share a green tea frap."

.

.

.

We went out on more dates and did it more and more often, but he was still sweet as ever. He would laugh at my corny jokes, teach me how to recognize his favorite bands, knew my favorite colors and hobbies, and we always shared that green tea frap—one straw.

Then one day I asked, "Sasuke-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind meeting my parents?" I asked softly. I was afraid he would say no because they would obviously disapprove of him, but he said, "Sure, Sakura. Anything for you."

"Anything?"

"Well, almost anything. But yes."

I smiled. "Thank you." I kissed him softly and he kissed me back before he said, "But I'm not going to change. I want them to see me like this."

I was a little surprised, but I said, "Sure."

He reached for his keys on his desk and put his arm around my shoulder. "Let's go, speedracer," he teased.

I pretended to pout as I followed him.

.

.

.

So, diary, here we are now. Where it all begins.

Sasuke could see that I was nervous in the car and rubbed my knee and put his hand on top of mine (warning: driving hazard. Do not try). He also comforted me with sweet words like he always does and told me not to be worried. But he doesn't know my parents.

Especially my father. Oh, God, my father.

So we were at my house and ready to get out, before he pressed my back to his car and kissed me one more time. "You'll be fine," he said.

"But I'm worried about _you_!"

"I'll be fine." He kissed me again. "Let's go."

We walked hand in hand to my door and I slowly rung the doorbell. Opening it was my mother, who said, "Sakura!" and then looked at Sasuke. "And you must be her…partner. I'm Hana. Come in."

I could see that mom was a little freaked out by Sasuke's…uh, multiple piercings and hair and that tattoo and such, but that was no reason to be so awkward!

"Honey! Sakura and her…date is here!"

Again with the pause.

"Sakura-chan! I assume this must be your…" he saw Sasuke, looked up and down for a long time, and then back at mom. I felt my palms become sweaty in his hands but he held onto me tighter so I wouldn't let go.

"Honey?" he said, referring to me.

"Yeah, dad?"

Then, he stared at me with that serious face.

"You never told us you were a lesbian."

…

Fuck my life.

.

.

.

"He's not a girl, dad. And I'm not lesbian."

"But these clothes, these…girl—I mean, boy, are you sure you're not gay? Or transvestite or something?"

"Dad!"

"Hey! I can ask, right? Free speech?"

I shrugged, but Sasuke finally let go of my hand.

"Sakura, could you give us some privacy? I'd like to speak with your parents alone, if you don't mind…"

"I think that's a good idea. Why don't you go to your room, Sakura, and I'll deal with this bitch?"

"Son of a bitch," Sasuke corrected.

"Whatever!"

I slowly made my way up the stairs, watching their every move. But they wouldn't s tart until I was gone and securely in my room. So I just ran.

.

.

.

That's basically the whole story, I suppose. Up until now. Their talking has died down and I'm about done writing because my tears have flooded my whole page. So, until next time when he breaks up with me and I'm crying even harder (about five minutes). Go take a break.

I closed my diary and went to go find my iPod. I scrolled down the list of screamo bands (I'd have to delete them later because they would hurt too much to remember every time I wanted to play a song on Shuffle) and went to Taylor Swift, finding something about meeting a guy at Starbucks (cha-ching! Jake Gyllenhaal) but then him turning out to be emo (bloop…). But then him inviting me to a concert (there's got to be one of those!) and then kissing me (there are so many…).

I'm not sure if there's one about sex, but if there is, I probably would play that. However, while I was finding the song, Sasuke burst into my room and picked me up. I was surprised and too shocked to register anything, but he said, "Let's go downstairs, princess," and carried me like a bride down the stairs. He was smiling, and when I got down my parents were, too, but I was so embarrassed. I asked him to set me down but he wouldn't, so my parents gave me their talk while I was in his arms.

"He's different, Sakura," my mom began. "Like, really different."

"I didn't even get to use the baseball bat," my dad said, frowning. She slapped his arm. "Shut up! This is serious. Anyway," she began. "Sasuke is…a very nice, charming, and sweet young man. I know it doesn't seem like this…honey, put that thing down! We've already settled this. But anyway, he loves you a lot, Sakura. And I know you care for him. So…" Hana smiled. "We approve. Or at least, _I _do. Your father, on the other hand, will learn. Won't you dear," Hana said, growling as she took her husband's ear in her fingers.

"Yes—yes! Alright! Fine!"

I looked at Sasuke and began to cry. He smirked at me and kissed me, and I felt like a real bride right the and there.

I saw my mom smiling while she continued to hold dad's ear, and Sasuke brought me back up to his room with promises of "Don't worry, we're not going to do anything bad, I swear." My mom believed him.

Dad? Not so much.

But we all had our own things to do. My diary was tossed aside and Taylor Swift was forgotten as he laid me on the bed and kissed me softly.

"I love you," I admitted softly. Though I'd never actually said it until now, I knew that I really did love him.

"I love you, too, Sakura." He gave me another smile through those goofy glasses that I always loved and I pushed his stray locks aside.

"But really. Do I look like a girl?"

I knew that he would ask that. But I sighed, smiled, and said, "Yes. A very handsome girl."

A smirk. "Thanks."

We kissed for a while before he took me to where we first met to relive our first date.

And once again, we reached for the same straw.

* * *

**a little ooc sasuke (haha) but i thought this promtp was hialrious. i hope you liked it a lot.**

**and i fucking love green tea frappucinos.**


	50. Brush Brush

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o50: **Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I had to find a way to get my girlfriend to brush her teeth daily. We're in college. FML.

_WE'RE HALFWAY DONE WTF_

* * *

**.o49.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**B**_r_u**s**_h_ B**r**us**h**

_._

She was kissing me again.

Ugh.

It's not that I don't love my girlfriend, which I do. I love her dearly. And I love holding her and kissing her—kissing her _most _of the time.

But the problem is that she has awful breath, and her teeth, though white and sparkly, have not been brushed for the longest time ever. I'm still wondering how the color's not fading into a disgusting yellow.

The fact that I'm still putting up with it surprises me.

Her hands are in my hair and her breasts are pressing up against my chest. I can feel myself getting a hard-on and I'm cursing because it's the wrong time to be aroused, though she's just so beautiful I can't help it…

She pulls away and I can finally breathe again. I remind myself to make sure I take a breath mint soon.

"Sasuke-kun," she cooed, stroking my cheeks. "You're so pretty."

I'm pretty.

Huh.

I've been called worse, though.

"Thanks," I said.

She pulled away, which was a little upsetting, considering that I still wanted to hold her even if I couldn't kiss her. Her body heat left mine and I felt a little chilly, despite my boner still sticking up for everybody to see.

"Be right back," she said, whispering in my ear. I felt a little shiver down my back. "I just want to go fix my makeup."

By makeup she meant lip gloss, because that was _all _she wore. After hearing Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss" song, Sakura had bought way too much lip gloss for her own good when she heard that "all them boys chase me after school!"

I will admit that it does taste good, though, especially when she's kissing me. Then I can get the taste of her breath out and take in that non-edible lip gloss.

Watermelon is my favorite.

Anyway, I'm sitting on my dorm's couch, reaching for the remote and waiting for her to come back after putting layer upon layer of gloss. I have no roommates (all the better to fap anytime to!) anymore and it's just me and Sakura, if she decides to stay for the night. Usually, she just goes back to her friends on the opposite side of the campus, which is a bother.

I must sound like Shikamaru now.

I'm watching a lame documentary on National Geographic about animals who hunt other animals for food. The hunter and the hunted. With Morgan Freeman narrating, of course. That man is God.

So I'm halfway in the piece until I see Sakura come out of the bathroom, her lips shiny and pink and kissable.

I can't take it anymore.

I get up from the couch and hold her in my arms while my hand trails down past her hip to cup her bottom. She places her legs around my waist and puts her arms around my neck, squeezing me tight in fear that she'll fall. I'm pressing her back against the wall and molding our bodies together until I look at her lips and kiss her again. I don't taste the bad part of her mouth, even though my tongue is playing with hers. I just taste the faint thickness of tart green apples and take a deep breath of her natural jasmine smell—something that goes right in this weird girlfriend of mine.

She tugs at my pants and undoes my belt. I put my hands under her shirt and unhook her bra.

Soon, everything falls to the floor, and I kiss much more than her mouth.

.

.

.

I put an arm around her while I make sure to cover her up with the blankets and she snuggles into me. I like feeling her breathe against me while I kiss her forehead and tuck the stray locks of hair away from her sweaty face.

"That was good, Sasuke-kun," she breathed. I can smell her breath again, and the lip gloss has mostly been wiped off, the smell gets to me and I press a finger to her mouth to keep her from talking.

It's not that I don't like to hear her talk. I do. But I just don't smelling her breath when she doesn't brush her teeth.

Sakura takes the finger as a sign of affection and Sasuke's "quiet time" and immediately shuts up, but still continues to snuggle into me, which I don't mind.

She wraps her arms around my waist and I really want to go brush my teeth or chew some gum or whatever, but seeing her so content and in peace…I think I can wait a little while longer.

Plus, her breasts feel _fantastic_.

.

.

.

I have my toothbrush, changed every three months, in a container while Sakura's is right next to mine. Hers looks brand new because…honestly, she hasn't used it ever. I have a small box of floss in a drawer and I take it out after I squeeze the toothpaste onto my brush and then spit it all out after I'm done. I'm flossing, and Sakura says, while wearing my bathrobe, "You're a dental freak, aren't you?"

"Just because I have good dental hygiene doesn't mean I'm neurotic, Sakura," I said, trying to say that while still flossing my teeth. "Do you want to brush?" I asked, hinting implied.

"Nah, I'm good."

I frowned, and then threw my floss away before taking a mouthful of mouthwash, rinsing for about ten seconds (it's nearly impossible to hold for thirty. I've tried) and then spitting it all out back into the sink.

"Do you want some gum then, or something?"

Sakura frowned, too. "Are you trying to say I have bad breath?"

Uh…

This situation had become incredibly awkward, but more so if I _did _lie. Instead, my stupid mouth said, "Sort of," and bitch mode activated.

"You're saying that I can't take care of myself?"

I think the big red handprint on my cheek can confirm everybody's suspicions.

FML.

.

.

.

"I love you, Sakura," I said as she tried to pack up her things. "Just because you have awful breath doesn't mean I hate you or want to end this relationship."

"Stop trying to make me feel better, Sasuke." Oh no. No suffix.

I'm in really deep shit.

"I'm n—" Okay, I was. "Well, can we just talk? Don't be mad at me, sweetheart."

Girls love terms of endearment.

Sakura paused for a second, and I was pretty sure I got it right until she continued to pack up her things.

"Sakura—"

I grabbed her wrist and leaned close to her. She seemed to hold her breath, because I couldn't smell anything. But I'm pretty sure she got a good whiff of my super-fresh minty Crest toothpaste, floss, and mouthwash teeth.

"Sakura, just listen, alright?"

She froze. Now I was certain she was holding her breath.

"Sit down."

She's making her way over to the sofa, leaving her bag near the door. I'm watching her to make sure she doesn't escape. She's wearing her normal clothes now, but disheveled due to our usual sexy time…and in her hurry to get away from me. I'm still in jeans and an old t-shirt I found.

"What?" She's crossing her arms and her legs. Major closing off.

"What if we came up with a solution?"

"Solution? It's not a problem."

"Let me reword this. Your, uh…dilemma."

"That sounds worse."

"It doesn't matter. Anyway, Sakura, how about this?" I kneeled down in front of her and took her hands. "Let's come up with a reward system. If you brush your teeth every day, I'll…kiss you."

Sakura scoffed. "I'll just get a new boyfriend."

I frowned. "That's not funny, Sakura."

"I think it is," she giggled.

"Fine. Then…I'll kiss you, and make love to you."

"You do that anyway."

"But I'll stop doing it if you don't brush your teeth," I threatened.

Sakura scoffed again, and now, I was getting pretty pissed. "Please. We all know that I'd last a lot longer without sex than you would."

I thought over what she said and realized she might have been right. I was a starved animal without her love. Every place she touched me lit me on fire and made me hard.

How could I manage so long?

"So?" she said, smirking, as if she knew that she already won. I decided to man up, and stood back on my feet.

"Fine. No kisses or sex until you brush your teeth."

"Fine."

"Shake on it?" I asked, holding my hand out.

She reached for it, and then pulled back. "No touching each other, either."

I knew that I would regret this so much, not being able to hold her either. It was like all of my life drained away and I was left with oxygen. But who needs oxygen when I don't have Sakura?

But I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of winning.

"Fine."

I knew I was going to regret this.

.

.

.

"You're not going to win," Sakura said as she sat on the opposite end of the sofa, farthest away from me. I made sure to sit on the arm of the sofa so that she couldn't "accidentally" touch me and drive me in overload, the little minx.

"As if. Uchihas always win."

"Snobby, much?" she teased. Then, she wiggled her eyebrows. I knew this tactic. It was the "flirt with Sasuke and get him horny so that he will lose this bet." The last part is a new thing, but the horny part was always there. I could feel myself getting hard already and bent over to try and cover it with my abs.

My abs…!

"It's hot in here, don't you think?" I said, my voice sexily hoarse. I knew that was how she liked it. She'd told me before. I made sure she was looking when I took off my shirt slowly, so tantalizing for her, and then tossing it and stretching my muscles that she knew so well. I knew that she just wanted to run her fingers down them and moan, making me even harder than I was.

I expected her to drool and keep looking at me, calling the deal off and brushing her teeth.

Instead, she was watching TV, not bothering to stare in my direction. She seemed fixed with the TV and not at me.

Shit.

.

.

.

Alright Sasuke, time for plan B.

Honestly, I didn't even have a plan B. I was just waiting for something to happen. But Sakura was still sitting in front of the TV, watching and laughing as she sat on the far end of the sofa, eating a candy bar she'd gotten out of her bag.

There was some chocolate on her chin and, as a habit, I leaned over to wipe it off before pulling back, my fingers almost touching her soft skin.

I knew what she was trying to do.

She was trying to get me to touch her so that I would lose!

That little devil.

I swear I could have seen her smirk as I pulled back. But her skin was so soft and tempting and smooth, and I ached a little bit knowing that I couldn't touch it.

But still, the battle was on.

.

.

.

The chocolate was still on her chin until I couldn't handle it anymore.

"Sakura," I said. She turned to me with a mischievous look on her face, as if I would surrender.

"Yes, Sasuke-_kun_?"

Oh _hell _no.

"You've got chocolate on your chin."

"Where?" she purred, using her fingers to touch the opposite side of her chin. "Here?"

"No, the other side."

"Here?" Still temping me, damnit.

"No—" I was almost sure she wanted to me to help her guide her fingers to her face, but I knew better than that. "Go to the bathroom and wash it off."

"Nah, it's okay. I'll have someone lick it off later."

Some…_one_?

"Sakura," I growled. "Stop doing this."

"Doing what, Sasuke?" she smiled sweetly, and, for some reason, I was about to kiss her right there.

"I can't handle this," I said instead, and took my dorm keys, marching out of the building.

Once I was halfway out on my walk I realized what I had done.

I had given her full power of the situation. Not to mention, she was in _my _house and had indirectly locked me out.

Fuck.

.

**one week later**

.

I feel like a zombie.

My hair is messed up, there are rings under my eyes, I've probably lost about five pounds in weight, and I haven't bathed or brushed my teeth in seven days.

I could be the new Ring girl, because of seven days. Get it? Get it?

Hn.

Sakura hasn't been over since our bet, but seeing her with her friends out on campus and in class laughing and smiling as if nothing is wrong, tempting me with layer after layer of lip gloss…I know that she thinks she's going to win. She's not.

I won't let her.

But I will admit that she is doing much better than I am at the moment. That part I can't deny.

I just won't let her have the satisfaction of seeing me like this, nor not brushing her teeth. I'm still wondering how they maintain to be so white.

And honestly, I miss her. I miss holding her. I miss making love to her.

Hell, I miss kissing that glossed putrid mouth.

I love her.

I knew that I couldn't win with the tactics that I was using, so I'd have to go for something different. Something non-Sasuke like. Something that will make her want to come back to me.

Why hadn't I thought of this before?

.

.

.

"Hello?" Sakura responded, her voice chipper. She answered my call, knowing full well it was me. And this wasn't against the bet, because we weren't touching each other. We could talk, at least, and that made me a little grateful.

"Sakura."

I heard silence on the other line. "Oh. Hi, Sasuke."

No suffix. I'd try not to let that bother me at the moment.

"I want you," I whispered huskily. I knew that she got shivers down her spine whenever I said that. I could hear her intake of breath. "Now, Sakura. I want you now."

"Sasuke—"

"I'm so hard thinking about you. I miss you. I miss the way your hair falls in front of your face, just ending a little above your beautiful breasts…" I kept my voice soft and husky, one hand on my cell phone while the other actually went down to unzip my jeans. I was actually turned on by myself, weird as that sounds.

"Sasuke, no…"

"I love seeing you naked. Your tits are fantastic. They're round and white and soft, and I could just fit them in my hands perfectly, as if they were molded to my shape. And your nipples," I moaned. Seeing them in my head again actually gave me an erection, and I stroked myself softly. "So pink and ripe. When they're hard, they fit nicely into my mouth and…you love the way I lick and suck them, don't you?"

"Sasuke, why are you doing this—?" she began.

"Shh," I murmured, still hard. I touched myself the way Sakura would if she were here, though my hands weren't nearly as soft or talented as Sakura's. She knew how I liked it. She knew how to please me. I, in return, knew how to please her.

"Can you feel my hands on your hips? They're trailing down towards your thighs and spreading them apart slowly. Gently. I don't want to hurt you, Sakura. But you like it, and you tell me to go on, so I do. I kiss your inner thighs after putting your legs over my shoulders. You're in full view for me, and I think you're beautiful, though you're embarrassed."

I can hear her gasping for breath, and I think she might be touching herself. The thought of her getting aroused by my words makes me even harder and I try not to moan.

"You like it when I kiss you _there_, don't you? How my tongue fits in you and my fingers are able to make you cum? And yet, you're still ready for me even after I've given you several orgasms just by flicking you softly and whispering sweet words of my love to you."

"Sasuke, please—" she's begging. But I'm not stopping there.

"You see my manhood, but now, you're used to it. But your eyes always widen and you make me feel good about myself when you tell me how large it is. I chuckle, don't I? You're so innocent. Even still. But I take you into my arms and promise it won't hurt every time, and I ask you if you want to stop and you always say no, because you trust me. And I love you for that."

Now I'm sure that she's touching herself by the way her breaths have gotten faster and how I can hear some background noises that are mildly inappropriate. I almost cum right there.

"I thrust in you softly, making sure that it doesn't hurt even though you're wetter than fuck," I murmur. I, too, am almost about to cum myself. "You scratch my back and I still have scars of your passion, and I offer you my shoulder to bite in case it hurts too much. But you tell me to shut up and keep going, and I kiss you everywhere and watch you in case you're trying to hide your pain. And then, when we're finished—I cum inside of you, and you fall limp into my arms and I feel intense relief. Then, I look in your eyes, and you're smiling, which makes me smile, and…"

I realized that I had turned the tables on myself. I'd tried to make her hot for me, but instead made myself realize how much I missed her and wanted her to be with me again, reliving the moment I had just played out for her.

But I finish.

"...I tell you I love you."

I can hear her pause. I think she's already came, but just listening to the sound of my voice makes her stop like it's made me.

"Bye, Sakura."

I hung up, utterly disgusted with myself. It didn't matter that I had lost this bet. Nothing mattered like that anymore. I missed her. I missed Sakura. I wanted her back with me. I couldn't do this.

My pride had nothing to do with my dignity anymore. I just wanted Sakura to be with me again. It didn't matter if she didn't brush her teeth or not. I could possibly live with that. But even one week alone, without her…

I was going crazy.

I couldn't live without Sakura.

Then, I cleaned myself up and sat down on the sofa, turning on the TV for the first time in a week.

It was the exact same show that she had watched before she stopped coming to my dorm.

.

.

.

It was around eleven at night and for four hours I had regretted the phone call I made.

I continued to watch TV when I heard a knock on the door. Wondering who it could have been at this hour (perhaps Naruto, who, when drunk, liked to pass out on my carpet for the night), I got up and opened it.

It was Sakura.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun."

This was so utterly embarrassing. I half-wanted to invite her in and love her right there, and I also wanted to slam the door in her face.

"Can I come in?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

She was wearing lip gloss, and I smelled watermelon. My favorite. I invited her to sit on the sofa, but she declined and looked up at me.

"I missed you."

"Me too," I admitted. I looked away so that she wouldn't see my desperate expression. I couldn't touch her. I wouldn't.

Then, I felt her arms wrap around my waist and she buried her head in my chest. "I love you too, Sasuke-kun."

That's it. The bet was over. She had touched me. I put my arms around her slowly, in case there was some kind of loophole trick that she would use against me, but remembered—dignity over pride. Uchiha pride meant nothing right now. I squeezed her tight.

She tip-toed up and kissed me softly before looking into my eyes. "I need you, Sasuke-kun. So much."

"How much?" I murmured.

"So, so much."

I kissed her again, tasting the watermelon flavor and inhaling her jasmine scent. She managed to push us both towards my—_our—_bedroom, and the clothes soon came off without either of us breaking the kiss. Then, she pulled back, put a hand in my hair, and smiled.

"I'll brush my teeth for you from now on, alright?"

I kissed her forehead. "Let's not talk about this right now."

I kissed every part of her—her forehead, nose, cheeks, eyelids, chin, neck, breasts, shoulders, stomach, hips, thighs, hands…and even her most intimate part. But the one I saved for last was the most important.

"I love you," I murmured, my lips pressing against hers softly.

"I love you, too," she responded. Once again, I offered my shoulder for support, but she refused it once more.

I took her into my arms and felt her claw against my back while screaming out my name.

.

**the next morning**

.

Sakura had finally promised me she'd brush her teeth every day, but was a little iffy on flossing and mouthwash. I told her it was okay. It was a start.

So the "him and her" bathroom in my dorm was used for something, finally. Besides the literal sense. Hint, hint.

Her teeth still remained shiny and white, and I loved kissing her even more, even if she wasn't wearing lip gloss. I'd actually bought her watermelon toothpaste, too, and it tastes delicious.

So we're sitting on the sofa together, watching that lame TV show she likes so much while I'm wiping off the chocolate from her chin with my lips as she giggles.

I think we both deserve a gold star for our good work in the reward system.

* * *

**sorry i think there are a lot of tense errors because i was half-aslseep when i wrote this (over a month of no updating wtf xena) and i was having a bad day due to some shit that happened**

**i alos got asked to prom, so i'm pretty excitd lol. went shopping and everythign derp**

**please review! and thank you all for 1000 reviews. that really means a lot to me. ^^**


	51. Wedding Dress

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-one. third person.  
******FML o51: **Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura had to admit to herself that she actually hates the wedding dress that she's planned. Her wedding's in a week. FML.

* * *

**.o51.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**W**_e_d**d**_i_n**g **_D_r**e**_s_s

_._

Sakura looked once at the long, white dress that hung in her closet—in a faraway land, past Narnia, so that Sasuke wouldn't be able to see it—and crossed her arms, huffing. When she first saw it, she swore it was love at first sight (as an object, of course, because she'd already experienced love at first sight with her soon-to-be husband, now fiancé). Now, after having seen the seemingly plain white ruffles on the ends of the dress, the fake sequins and sparkly beads around the waist, and the dimming white color of the dress (she had tried it on many times to see if she was gaining weight) so many times, Sakura decided that she didn't like it.

At all.

She would have returned it in a heartbeat if she could. But the problem was that _she_had chosen it herself. Not only that, her wedding was in a week and changing the dress meant changing the makeup, the church, the bridesmaids' dresses, the flowers…everything. All that planning was too hard for one change.

Sakura closed her closet and sighed. She would have a beautiful wedding. A memorable wedding. But it wouldn't be perfect because _the bride didn't like her dress anymore._

"Sakura," Sasuke called from downstairs of their house given to them as a gift from his parents. "Come down."

"Coming," she yelled back. She rummaged in her pocket for a lock that she always put on the closet handles whenever she was away, keeping the key with her at all times in case Sasuke decided to sneak a peek of his darling fiancée's dress. Clicking the lock and making sure the key was tightly secured on her articles of clothing, she went downstairs where she greeted him with a kiss.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun," she said. He kissed her forehead in return.

He was actually cooking something for her, a skill that he had learned when they were dating and she was having massive cramps that wouldn't allow her to get up and cook herself.

Plus, he was cooking her favorite things—dumplings, the ones with pork and chives inside. She leaned over to look at his progress and he surprised her by putting an arm around her waist.

"When will I be able to see my princess in her dress?" he teased with that devil-may-care smirk.

Sakura pursed her lips, trying not to show her disappointment at herself. "Next week, Sasuke-kun. You can wait a little while longer."

"I don't know if I can. What if I find the key and decide to take a peek?"

She playfully slapped him. "Stop it, you! You have to wait like every other sane man."

"You're saying I'm not sane?" he looked at her with those coal black eyes and that melting smirk and she felt her knees go weak. Then, he turned off the stove where he was cooking and asked Sakura to pass a plate, which she handed him, still weak with desire for him.

He slid the dumplings onto a plate and handed her a pair of chopsticks. When he placed them down on the table, he took her chair and slid it for her so that she could sit down, and then pushed her back in. With the chopsticks, she said her daily thanks before eating, and then began to stuff the dumplings into her mouth.

"Are they good?" he asked, watching her eat while folding his arms on the table.

"They're amazing," she said, her mouth full. She swallowed, and said, "You are a fantastic cook."

"Nothing but the best for Sakura, right?" he joked. She smiled and took a new dumpling in her chopsticks, holding it out for Sasuke to eat.

"Say 'aah.'"

Playing along, he rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, "aahing" monotonously. The dumpling disappeared in his mouth and he chewed thoughtfully before swallowing.

"You give me too much credit, Sakura."

"I don't think I give you enough. Do you want more?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Eat, sweetheart."

Sakura shrugged as she kept putting dumplings in her mouth, taking time to chew before a possible choking scenario happened. Once she was done, she leaned back in her chair and felt the buttons on her pants begin to tighten.

"Did you like it?

"I loved it. And I love you, too," she said sweetly, leaning over to kiss him.

Suddenly, he took her mouth hard, taking her into his lap and making her comfortable before he did anything. His lips never left hers as he rubbed her back, his hands going up her shirt and fondling her breasts through her lacy white bra. She moaned in pleasure as he lifted the cups and flicked her nipples with his thumb, feeling them turn hard as he moved on to kissing her neck.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun…" she moaned softly.

"That's right, Sakura," he murmured against her pulse. "Say my name."

"N-Not here," she said, trying to push him off softly. He held on tighter to her and nuzzled her neck.

"Where, then? On the floor? On the bedroom? The couch? What do you want right now, Sakura?"

"I-I want you," she murmured.

He moved her so that she was sitting right on top of his erection. He bounced his knees so that he could see her move up and down slowly, his shaft going between her legs. She let out a hearty moan.

Then, he pulled her shirt over her head and pulled the straps of her bra down. His hands were on her breasts while he pulled her even closer to him, making sure that there was no distance to separate them.

"I'm…really wet," she admitted.

She saw him smirk and blushed. "That's good to hear." Then, he helped her slide off her pants and underwear while he undid the zipper on his own jeans.

With his hands on the side of her thighs, he lifted her so that he could manage his way into her and entered her slowly. She held onto him, his face buried between her breasts, while she hooked her arms around his neck as she moved up and down on him.

"Fuck," he muttered. "You're so tight."

She didn't get to respond, because she felt so good—and one word could just break that nice moment she had that let her forget everything relating to weddings for a second.

Sasuke let out a groan, and she felt sticky warmth between my thighs, knowing that he had cum already. He left her, still horny, but still held on to her thighs.

Then, he did that thing with his fingers. She didn't know how he does it. She really doesn't. But he touched her with his index finger, and he could just make her cry out by finding the exact place so quickly, since he knows her so well. And…

She saw him lick his fingers so seductively, so hot, so sexily…she felt her nipples perk up again. He gave her that trademark smirk, and even offered her a taste. But Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed him off, finding her clothes before she felt his hands on her waist again.

"Why so soon?" he asked. "I still want to spend time with you."

"We can spend time together with our clothes on."

"I want to do it without. For preparation next week."

Shit.

Sakura froze, and hoped that Sasuke couldn't feel her stiffen. Again with the wedding remarks.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

Double shit.

"Nothing." She left her clothes there and climbed back onto Sasuke's lap. He wrapped his arms around her and put his chin on her shoulder.

"Good." He kissed her shoulder softly, placing butterfly kisses on every inch of her skin. Sakura breathed in his scent, and let herself go for a second.

Just for a second.

.

.

.

"I've got to call the flower arrangers," Sakura said as Sasuke helped her get dressed. "They said they might have an issue with the things that we—excuse me. That _I _wanted," she clarified, knowing Sasuke didn't care for flowers or anything else as long as he could put a ring on what he liked.

"How long will that take?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know. But knowing me, probably a couple hours."

Sasuke kissed her softly. "Have fun, then. Come home soon."

"Yup."

Sakura took her bag and keys and left the apartment, feeling a little guilty for lying to Sasuke since she didn't need to go flower arranging, but a little relieved since she could get out of the house and think for a second.

She didn't know exactly where she wanted to go, so she went where her feet took her—the center market in Konoha where all the little fancy shops were. Where she bought her wedding dress.

Her wedding dress.

Thinking about it gave her a headache. If she by any chance saw a dress that she liked…well, she would only be able to marvel at it and never know what it would be like to wear it down the aisle because she had to be stuck with the stupid dress that she bought because she _thought _she was in "love at first sight" with it. But she wasn't.

That still didn't stop her from stopping a couple minutes just to admire the beautiful new white gown on display in one of the stores.

.

.

.

Sasuke tapped his fingers impatiently, knowing that Sakura wouldn't be home for a while. Still, he disliked the feeling of being alone without her, and waited for her to get back, constantly staring at the clock on the wall.

"Fuck it," he said. He got up from the chair he was sitting in, and had an idea. Since Sakura wasn't home, he could possibly find a spare key for the wardrobe where her dress would be.

He'd gladly tear the house down just to find a key. But realizing that Sakura had already taken the keys with her on the way to flower arranging, he cursed again before thinking of a solution to his problem.

Taking out his cell phone, he dialed speed dial three (speed dial two, of course, was Sakura), and waited for the person to pick up.

One ring passed. Then two. Three. Sasuke felt as if his friend wouldn't pick up. But, lo and behold, on the final ring, he heard a groggy, "Hello?"

"Naruto," Sasuke said.

"Teme? Why are you waking me up so early? It's…uh, two in the afternoon."

"Hungover? Doesn't matter. Listen, I need your help. Can you pick a lock for me?"

He heard Naruto's voice brighten over the phone and said, "Pick a lock? What kind of a lock? Like a house lock? Or a window lock? Ooh, maybe a safe lock? That would be totally cool. You could hide, like, porn in there and I'd still be able to find it."

"No, just a regular lock."

There was a big sigh on the other end of the line. "Fine. But what's in it for me?"

"I won't tell Hinata about the time last week where you—"

"Okay, okay! Shut up! Just keep quiet about that and I'll do it, alright? I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He heard Naruto curse under his breath but ignored it, hanging up and waiting back at his chair, tapping his fingers and staring constantly at the clock, hoping Sakura wouldn't get home before Naruto came.

.

.

.

"Isn't it a beautiful dress?" the salesman said to Sakura as she felt the fabric in between her fingers. She promised she wouldn't go in to see it. Promised she wouldn't touch it. And now here she was, fawning over this dress like it was one of the members of One Direction and she was a teenage girl.

"It is," Sakura said.

"Would you like to try it? We have fitting rooms, and our saleswomen can help you."

Sakura opened her mouth to say yes, but then closed it. She said, with the most amount of self-control she had, "That's very nice, but I'm just browsing. I'm not sure if I want to try it on or not."

"It's not a final decision. If you don't like it, you don't have to buy it. Why don't you just try it out?"

"I—" Sakura began. Then she said, "Okay."

The salesman smiled. "Great. Why don't you go in one of those rooms and ask Zakuro—she's the one over there with the dark purple hair. She'll help you out. I'll bring the dress in for you shortly."

Sakura then walked over to the sales associate, who seemed to have a cold look, but was actually really friendly. Her face loosened up when she saw Sakura and said in the most genuine voice, "Hi, how are you?" and exchanged sweet conversation.

Then, she led Sakura to the fitting room while a couple other saleswomen were there to observe, because choosing dresses are always exciting for women.

.

.

.

"A lock on a wardrobe? Really?" Naruto groaned. "You're so boring."

"It's not my fault."

"Whatever." Naruto took a bobby pin out of his pocket and placed it in between his teeth. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, about to ask what Naruto was doing, but he held up a finger.

"Shh. Let the master work."

He bit the end of the pin and molded it so that it changed to a form that was suitable for the lock. Then, he took the lock in one hand, inserted the pin, and shook the pin a little bit so that he soon heard a small _click_!

"How'd you do that?" Sasuke asked, a little amazed at what Naruto could do.

"It's a secret, teme. But I'll tell you anyway. I actually have no idea what I'm doing. I just copy what I do in the movies. Apparently, it works."

Sasuke was speechless for a moment. Then, he shook his head and opened the wardrobe, ready to see what kind of dress his bride would wear—and the best way to take it off her.

However, he'd have to get through the mountains of the other clothes first. The dress was probably with the White Queen at Narnia. That's how far back it was.

.

.

.

"Oh my goodness," Sakura breathed, looking at herself in the mirror. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah? You like it?" Zakuro said. "It looks lovely on you. Fits you nicely. And I'm not saying that just because I'm paid to say it. I really do think you look amazing."

"What do you think?" the salesman asked, coming to check up on them. "Wow, you look gorgeous."

"Thank you," Sakura said. She twirled around in her dress, before realizing that she wouldn't ever get to wear it down the aisle. "But…"

"Uh oh. That 'but' doesn't sound very good."

"I don't know if I can buy this. It's stunning and all, but it's just…it's not you, it's me."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I mean, it's not the dress's problem. If I could, I would buy this in a heartbeat. But there have been some other…conflicts. I'm really sorry. I hope you understand."

"It's fine," the salesman said. "You just had to try it. But I'm glad you like it a lot."

"Wait," Sakura said. "Could I…at least, take a picture?"

"Uh, sure," the salesman said, a little shocked. "Would you like me to take it for you?"

"That'd be great," Sakura said, handing him her smartphone. "Just press the middle button."

"Okay. Smile. One, two…" The camera snapped. "You look great." He handed her back the phone and she took it, trying not to fall over.

"Thank you," she said. "Now, could somebody help me get out of this dress?"

.

.

.

"Wow," Sasuke said. "This dress is…what was she thinking?"

"I don't think it's that bad," Naruto commented.

"She was probably drunk or something when she bought it. It's…I can't even describe it."

"Do you not like it?"

"Well, if she likes it, that's all that matters. I'm just saying. She's got awful taste."

Naruto wasn't listening. He was on his phone, looking at something that seemed to fascinate him.

"Hey, teme, look at this," Naruto said. "Sakura's wearing a dress. And it looks a lot better than this one does."

"What? Let me see," he said, peeking over Naruto's shoulder. And there she was, in a beautiful, glowing white dress that made her seem like an angel. The top of her breasts popped up and her waist was slimmed by its built-in corset, and she looked stunning.

Simply beautiful.

"How'd you get this?"

"Her Facebook apparently posted it ten minutes ago. Mobile uploads, I guess."

"Give me that." He snatched the phone away from Naruto and immediately began to dial the number he knew so well.

One ring. Two rings.

"Yes, Naruto?" Sakura said.

"Sakura."

Sakura froze in her words. "Oh. Hi, Sasuke-kun. Is something wrong?"

"Buy that dress you were just wearing. The one with the lace. I want you to get it. If not for you, then for me."

"Wait, how did—"

"Doesn't matter. Tell them I'll pay for it. Just bring it home and we can discuss this later." He then hung up, giving the phone back to Naruto.

There was an awkward silence, before Naruto said, "So you promise you're not going to tell Hinata about the incident?"

"Like hell I would," Sasuke muttered, not wanting to remember what happened _last Friday night_.

.

.

.

The sales associates were happy to have a purchase been made, but even happier to see that the customer was happy.

"You look beautiful, always remember that," Zakuro said. "Congratulations on your wedding."

"Thank you," Sakura said. "And thank you, too, for giving me a chance to try it out," she said to the salesman. He bowed. "Anytime. Have a safe trip back."

"Thank you," she repeated before leaving with a giant load in her arms, trying to carry it without stumbling over her feet.

Still unsure of what to make of the conversation she and Sasuke had, she walked home, her legs wobbling from the heaviness of the dress, trying to think of what could have happened and how he could have known.

.

.

.

"Shit, she's home," Sasuke said as he saw Naruto eating food on one of his plates. "I told you to just take it with you!"

"I need to eat slowly!"

"You down ramen noodles like it's water!"

"That's different. But—"

"Doesn't matter. Hide under the couch. Hide!" He pushed Naruto under the couch, where he could barely squeeze in, and Naruto, attempting to scream and yell, was soon quieted by a death threat from Sasuke.

"Sakura," he said, helping her open the door and welcoming her with a hug. "Just put that down."

"We need to talk," she said. "First of all, how did you find out that I was wearing that dress?"

"Honey, everybody saw. It was posted on Facebook from your phone."

He saw the color drain from Sakura's face and she sat down on the couch to calm herself. There was a small "mm!" from under the couch, but she didn't notice.

"Oh my goodness. Holy shit." She buried her head in her hands. "This is awful."

"No it's not," he said, placing a hand on her back. "It's fine. It's good. They can all see how lovely you look."

"Before the wedding? Ugh."

"Sakura, it's alright." He kissed the top of her forehead. "But honest opinion? You look fantastic in this dress while the other one is…" Sasuke began.

"You saw the other one already? Sasuke!"

"I couldn't help it."

Sakura sighed, lying down on the couch. Naruto made an even bigger sound, and Sasuke glared at the floor in hopes that Naruto would be able to see him.

"What was that sound?" Sakura asked, sitting up. "Do we have a rat?"

"No rat. I don't know what sound you're talking about."

"Oh."

She lied back down and stared at the ceiling. "But if I wear this dress, then I have to change the bridesmaids' dresses, the flowers, the church…everything."

"No you don't. It'll look fine."

"For me it won't."

"Well…I could always divorce you and remarry you again for a second wedding." Sakura looked at him with a "the fuck are you smoking?" face and said, "Don't joke about that kind of shit."

"Sorry. Anyway, Sakura. Listen to me. I think you look beautiful either way. With the first dress or with the second. It's our wedding. I want it to be special for both of us. It's special for me. But it needs to be special for you, too. I don't know how I can comfort you right now because I'm still really awkward with this, but I will arrange everything to be changed the way you want to within the days we have left, because it needs to be perfect. I won't accept anything less for you."

"Really?" Sakura said.

"Of course." He leaned down to kiss her. She pulled him tighter to her.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

"Mm!"

"Are you sure that isn't a rodent or something?"

"It's nothing."

Sasuke reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it upwards again for the second time that day. "Plus," he murmured, kissing the middle of her breasts. "The dress won't matter because I'll be taking it off, anyway."

"Sasuke-kun!"

The clothes were off. The couch creaked. There were groans and moans and soft whispers. And poor Naruto was still under there, smushed by the lack of space, and feeling a little uncomfortable hearing his two friends do it so intimately right _on top of him_.

It might have even been more awkward than the incidence with him and Sasuke _last week_. Nothing sexual, but still awkward. Booze does crazy stuff.

.

.

.

_"How'd you do all this in a week?" Sakura asked, wearing her new dress while the arrangements were made to be the exactly perfect dream wedding she'd wanted._

_"I have my ways."_

_"No, really. How?"_

_"Honestly?" he said. "I sold my kidney on the black market."_

_"Sasuke-kun!"_

_"Just joking. But I would, if it would make you happy. In a twisted sense."_

_She let the topic drop. "I love you," she said as she walked hand in hand with him down the aisle, their own form of the wedding service._

_"I love you, too."_

* * *

__**sorry for a crappy chapter and the long wait. i had a really shitty day and tomorrow's my birthday so...apsoieutpowiuetaipowuet**

**doiptaupwoietuapwioeut**

**reviewwwwwwww pleaseee**


	52. You May Now Do

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-two. sakura's pov.  
******FML o52: **Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was getting married. My best friend was the priest, and he asked him, "Do you want to bang my friend?" as the vow. Everyone laughed, except my dad. He's never liked Sasuke anyway. FML.

* * *

**.o52.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**Y**_o_u** M**_a_y **N**_o_w **D**_o_.**.**_._**  
**

_._

I knew it was a bad idea to let our best friend be the priest for my wedding. The _one _day everything had to be perfect was ruined. Plus, I have no idea _what _I was smoking when I decided to go up to Naruto, with Sasuke (who was probably just as doped) to say, "Hey, Naruto, wanna be the priest for our wedding day?"

Needless to say he accepted it enthusiastically.

First of all, not only did he show up ten minutes late to the wedding, making me even more nervous than I was waiting in my little room, my palms sweating. He also wore this God-awful bright orange tuxedo and a black tie, which, if he switched the color scheme around, wouldn't be as bad, but it was.

Also, appearance-wise, he looked like he just rolled out of bed, realized he was late, and just put on whatever without washing his face ,taking a shower, or brushing his hair. I can easily see my reflection in his once-clean spikes.

I really wanted Sasuke to hold me right there, but instead, I let my girlfriends hold my hand. He wasn't allowed to see me in my dress before the actual ceremony started.

"Wow, Sakura-chan, your hands are really sweaty," Hinata commented. "Here," she said, handing me a handkerchief. "Let me help you."

"It's okay," I said. "Thanks anyway, Hinata."

Hinata nodded, continuing to hold my sweaty hand while TenTen massaged my shoulders.

"You're stiff, Sakura. You've got to relax. Here, I know this one Chinese technique that if I hit the right spot, I can make you feel totally relaxed…on the other hand, it might paralyze you for life…wait, I think I've got it—"

"No, I'm okay. Get away," I said. I didn't need to be paralyzed either. "Just…just stay here, okay?"

"Are you sure? I think I've got the right point."

"I'm sure. Sit here." I kept bouncing my knees, something else I did when I was nervous.

"Sakura. Chill out," TenTen said. "You're worrying about it too much."

"You've obviously never been in my spot," I growled. TenTen shrugged.

"That's true, but still. I oughta give you, like, a pill or something."

"No."

Then, I heard my phone beep. I checked it, struggling to open the top of the flip-phone due to my hands being so sweaty. It was from Sasuke.

_Are you alright? _He texted. I smiled. Thinking about me even during what was supposed to be _our _day.

_I'm nervous, but it's normal, I guess. Wbu? _

A second later, I got a response. His fingers texted fast, which was good for…_ahem_.

_Obviously, but I wouldn't let anybody see it except for you. I love you_.

I bit my lip to try and stifle my huge, idiotic grin. _I love you, too. Heart._

Then, I received this little gem: _Tonight I'm going to rip off your dress and love you so hard. I won't be able to control myself. I'm already hard thinking about you under me._

My nipples perked up from under my dress and I almost moaned thinking about him inside of me, holding me close to him while he fucked me.

With my fingers weak and shaky, I texted back, _I can't wait_.

Right after that, Naruto called out, "Sakura-chan, it's time."

I took a deep breath. Hinata and TenTen helped me up. My dress felt even heavier than it usually was, and my knees felt weak. My head spun. I thought I was going to faint.

"Do you need help?" Naruto asked.

"I'm fine," I said. "Go back to the altar."

"Yes, princess," he teased before I slapped his shoulder. "Good luck."

"Yeah."

I held the bouquet in my hands. It was white, like my dress, and they were lilies. Sasuke loved lilies.

The doors opened. I held my breath.

And I walked through.

.

.

.

My dad was waiting for me right outside. He looked like he was about to cry, but of course, he wouldn't show it. When he touched the edge of his eye, I asked, "Tou-san…are you crying? Don't cry. It's okay. It's a happy occasion!"

Then, he said, "I'm not crying! It's allergy season, Sakura. You know I have allergies."

"Allergies in July?"

"Whatever. So, am I supposed to like, hold my arm out or something?"

"I think so." He held his arm out awkward to the side and I looped my own through it.

"This looks weird," he said as we slowly walked down the aisle, muttering under his breath. "I can't believe my daughter is getting married already!"

"I'm twenty-two, tou-san!"

"_TOO YOUNG_," he said in his "disapproving father" voice. "When I was twenty-two, I was working out in the fields to earn money for my family."

"Times have changed."

"…I hate Sasuke."

It always came back to this. My dad has never, ever, _ever _approved of Sasuke. Maybe it was the hair, or his pretty looks that had girls fawning all over him ("He's going to break your heart, Sakura-chan, because he can have any girl he wants! Look at that pretty boy!"), or his lack of personality when he talked to everyone else _but _me.

Maybe it was for no reason. My dad hates a lot of things for no reason.

"I know you do," I said, only the corner of my mouth moving. "But you're going to have to deal with it. He's going to be your son-in-law."

Tou-san shuddered. "I don't want to think about it."

"We'll talk later," I said. I reached the altar where Sasuke stood, waiting for me. He was in a black tuxedo, a white dress shirt, and he had a red rose in his breast pocket (my favorite flower!). His hands were folded behind his back and he gave me a genuine smile—one that he gave only to me.

My father let me go and trudged back to his seat unwillingly. He obviously was unhappy, but my mom tried to comfort him, saying, "Dear, dear, don't do anything rash."

I scooted closer to Sasuke. He took my hand in his and whispered, "You look so unbelievably beautiful, Sakura."

I almost wanted to cry. "Thank you."

He leaned in closer to me. To some, it seemed like he was kissing me. Instead, he pressed his lips against my ear. "I love you."

Before I could respond, Naruto interrupted. He _ahemed_, took out a book, and began to read from it, using his dad's eyeglasses to seem more _professional_.

"We are gathered here today…what the hell, I can't read any of this. Whatever. Anyway, Sakura-chan." He looked at me, and I made a mental note of myself to strangle him after this was done. "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Of course," I said softly, looking at Sasuke through my veil. "Of course I do."

"Great," Naruto said. Then, he turned to Sasuke.

"Teme," Naruto began. I growled. _Naruto…_

"From one friend to another, tell me. Would you like to bang my friend that is of the feminine species?"

There were fits of laughter from behind us, and I turned around to see that almost everyone, including my mom, was on the floor laughing, holding their stomachs and trying to cover their mouths. Sasuke smirked, held my hand, and said, "Certainly."

I turned around again, only to see that one person wasn't laughing. My dad.

Boy, did he look pissed. He was sitting with his legs crossed, his face like a horse—long and sad—, and he had this giant frown on his face. His arms were folded. That meant serious business. He was obviously not thrilled about this.

_Shit_.

"You may now kiss the bride," Naruto said, closing the book and taking off his eyeglasses, massaging his temples. "And do other stuff later."

Sasuke faced me. He took the veil off my face and smiled. Then, he pressed his forehead to mine. Our noses touched.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I know." Then, he kissed me softly, holding my face in his hands. I wrapped my arms around his neck and the bouquet fell to the floor. He held me tighter to him and I felt his erection press against the multiple layers of my dress.

"Tonight," he murmured. "I can't wait."

I was nervous, for some reason. We've had sex before, multiple times with my father still thinking I'm a virgin, but for God knows what I didn't feel right. Maybe it was just wedding night scares. Or maybe it was the fact that my father knows what we're going to…

"I don't know," I muttered as I pulled away.

"Why not?" he asked. "Is something wrong?"

"We'll talk later."

He opened his mouth to say something, but realized now would not be the best time to argue about it. "Later," he promised.

"Yeah."

He held my hand as we walked down the aisle, people clapping and standing up for us as we walked towards the exit. But when I turned back, my dad was still sitting there, facing the altar, so that we only saw the back of his head.

My heart sank.

But Sasuke and I kept walking as he helped me into the limo before entering from the other side. The doors closed, and people waved us off happily as I sighed and took off my shoes.

"Give me your feet," he said. "I'll massage them for you."

"You don't have to," I said. "They're dir—" He _tsk_ed! And took my legs, placing my feet on his knees. He used his skillful, magical fingers, and it felt so good I moaned.

"This turns you on?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It just feels good. It doesn't turn me on," I said.

"It turns _me _on."

I hoped that the driver couldn't hear us. If he could, he was doing a really nice job of ignoring it. Sasuke then pulled me onto his lap, put his hand underneath the multiple layers of skirts under my dress, and stroked my thigh softly. His fingers tugged at my garter.

"Not here," I murmured as I let his hand travel past my top onto my chest. "Someone will see—"

"They won't, I promise," he whispered, biting my ear softly. The hand that was on my thigh moved towards my crotch, where he put his hand down my panties and stroked me softly. I felt myself become wet while he took my nipple and squeezed it. His cock was poking me from under my dress.

"Sasuke," I moaned. "Oh…"

"Do you like it?"

"Yes—yes, but…"

"But what?"

"Here, we can't…it's too embarr—oh!" my mind went blank as he bounced me up and down gently on his shaft while his fingers went deeper into me, his palm cupping my breast.

Right as I was about to cum, he stopped, pulled out his fingers, and licked them seductively. He turned me around and I frowned.

"Why'd you stop there?"

"Because," he said. "I want to tease you before tonight."

I felt that sinking feeling again—how my dad looked at us and realized I was going to be "stuck" with Sasuke forever.

"What's wrong, Sakura? What are you thinking about?" Sasuke asked, his voice softening as he pulled me towards him, in no way sexually.

"It's nothing," I said.

"You promised you would talk to me about this later. It's later. What's troubling you?"

"It's…" I began, but Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. "My dad. He doesn't like us together. He can't believe that it's actually happened—that his daughter just got married. I don't know what he doesn't like about you, but whatever it is…I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you like this. It's our special day and I just didn't want to ruin it for you."

"Oh, Sakura." He buried his head in my shoulder. "I'm not upset. I'm glad you told me. I know that your father doesn't exactly approve of me, but I guess this is what we all have to deal with. Is this bothering you that much?"

My lack of response told him it was.

"Hey, don't be upset. Let's talk about this later if you want, alright?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now smile, alright? The bride's not allowed to be sad." He gave me a smirk and kissed my cheek softly before I giggled. Then, he set me down on the seat and loomed over me, his knees in between my legs.

"I'm going to tease you even more. Hopefully, there won't be any sudden stops."

"Yeah."

.

.

.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Uzumaki? Why the hell would you say something like that at my daughter's wedding?" Papa Haruno shouted. "That was utterly and completely inappropriate. Would you like to _bang _my friend? Really? You're lucky I have carpal tunnel, because I would have strangled you already."

"Hey, don't get your panties in a twist," Naruto said. "Everyone took it with a grain of salt. Why can't you?"

"Why can't I? _Why can't I? _She's my daughter, you idiot! Of course I need to take it to heart!"

"Well, I mean, she and Sasuke have already _done _it. It's not like she's like a nun or whatever. That guy is a beast, from what she's told me."

"They _what_?"

"I mean…" Naruto began. "I, uh…"

"You mean to say that man has corrupted my daughter—before he married her?"

"…No?"

Papa Haruno's eyes blazed. He pushed Naruto aside. "I have to go. But beware—I've got my eyes on you. Say goodbye to children."

Naruto whimpered, holding his crotch as he watched Sakura's father leave.

.

.

.

"I'm glad we had the reception before," Sasuke said, holding me in his arms while carrying me to his apartment. "Now we have all the time to ourselves."

"Yeah," I said, snuggling into his chest. "I'm horny."

"I am too." He set me down on the living room couch before undoing his tie, taking off his tux coat, and throwing it onto a seat. "Do you want tea?"

"Yes, please," I said.

"Jasmine?"

"You know me," I said. He smirked, pouring himself a cup while handing the other to me. They clinked it and sipped the hot liquid as he scooted closer to me.

"We're finally married," he said, looking at the ring on his finger. "I've waited for this day for a long time."

"Me too. It was everything I dreamed of. Almost."

"Almost…because of Naruto?"

"Sort of. But also because of…" I faded off. "Uh."

"Do you want to talk about it again?" he asked, setting his cup down.

"I don't—" I began. Then, we heard a vicious knock on the door.

"Open up, Uchiha!"

Oh my goodness.

It was my dad.

.

.

.

"What do we do?" I said in a hushed whisper. He took my shoulders and said, "Sakura, calm down. Just stay here. I'll take care of it."

With the coolness and suaveness of the man I married, he opened the door nonchalantly and gave my dad the most fake smile he could give. "Hello, father-in-law."

"Don't call me that. Anyway, you are _never _going near my daughter again. You understand? I'm taking her home."

"I'm sorry, sir. We're married. This is her home now."

"Keep your filthy, dirty, whorish little hands off my daughter, you evil bastard."

That was it. I stood up. "Tou-san, what the hell is going on here?"

"Sakura, he violated you. I will not accept him into my family. He's a no good bastard. Come on. We're going home."

"No," I said. "Tou-san. I love you. I will always love you. You're my dad and I care for you dearly. But I'm older now, and I can decide what I want to do with my life. And I want to spend it here with Sasuke." I held onto Sasuke's hand while I said this and squeezed. He squeezed back.

Dad wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth. "Sakura," he began. I could literally see the smoke almost coming out of his ears. I thought he would just kidnap me, but instead, he said, "Is this what you really want?"

"Yeah," I said. "It is."

Dad sighed. I could see that he knew he lost this battle. Plus, if my mom were here, she would probably be on our side too.

"I love you, Sakura-chan. Remember that. I'm the man that loves you the most. I always will. But if this is what you want, then…" he rubbed the corner of his eye again. "God damn allergies. Anyway, if this is what you want, then…I wish you the best of luck. And you—" he pointed at Sasuke. "Take care of her, or I will slit your throat."

"I will."

"Good." He looked at us for a couple more minutes and kissed my forehead. "Well, then, come back and visit soon, Sakura. And bring him if it's only necessary," Dad said, not trying to hide the contempt for my husband.

"I will."

"Okay. Well. Bye." He shut the door behind him and I let out a huge sigh before collapsing into Sasuke's arms.

"That was painful," I said.

"I know. Plus, who gets allergies in July?"

"He's trying to protect his masculinity."

"Sure. But still," he said, "We have all the time in the world for ourselves now without any distractions." He raised his eyebrows and lifted me, one hand under my ass while the other held my back. He led me to his bedroom where we had spent so many special times together before.

"I can't wait," he muttered. "You're so beautiful. I just want to rip this off and love you in ways you can't even imagine."

"Don't rush it," I said, putting a hand on his chest as he loomed over me. "I want it to last."

"It will."

He unzipped the back of my dress, letting me breathe easier. The corset shape really slimmed me down at the extent of having to take more breaths.

My breasts popped out and he took one in his mouth, sucking it softly. I arched my back, moaning, and he sucked even harder. With his other hand, he rubbed my nipple and I felt them perk up at his touch.

He massaged them in a circular motion as he dry-humped me. I felt my panties become wetter and wetter and he sent small jolts to my womanhood with each lick. Then, he stopped, looked at me with those devilish eyes, and pulled my skirts up to my breasts. My nipples felt cold from the air.

Then, he tugged at my panties and my stockings with his teeth. My crotch was so hot and wet and waiting for him.

"Spread them," he said, his hands on my knees trying to gently pry them apart. Without warning, he put his head in between my legs and licked me, knowing where I was sensitive and where I was about to—

"Oh my—Sasuke, please…" I begged, holding my breasts as he used his tongue to flick my clit.

"You taste so good," he murmured. "You're so wet."

"Sasuke—!"

I was almost about to cum. But I didn't want to. I wanted his cock.

I reached for his pants and unzipped them. Lo and behold, am I right or am I right?

"Sakura…" he moaned as my fingers grazed his tip. I held it in my hands and pumped it slowly.

"You're such a fucking tease," I muttered as I kept pumping him. "I hope you get a taste of your own medicine now."

"You little vixen…"

I didn't know what happened next. He (or maybe me) took off his boxers, and he entered me hard. Not gently, as he usually did, but with animalistic agility.

"Sasuke-kun! You're too—"

"I'm sorry, Sakura," he said, holding on to my hips while he thrusted into me as I moaned. "I can't hold myself back any longer."

My breasts kept moving with every thrust and I held them so that they wouldn't move as much. Then, Sasuke turned me so that I was on all fours and he lifted my ass so that he could do me doggy—with every thrust my nipples brushed against the blankets and I moaned, knowing I was going to cum soon.

"Sasuke-kun, it feels so good," I breathed out. "More, more…"

"Sakura, sweetheart," he said, changing positions again. I was on my back once more, and my legs were over his shoulders. This position hit me the deepest, and before I could tell him I was going to cum, he hit my g-spot and I exploded all over him.

"Sasuke-kun," I moaned as his limp penis left me, also having ejaculated. My chest heaved up and down and I was on Cloud 9, unable to speak. He collapsed next to me, held me into his arms, and kissed me all over my face.

"That was amazing," I said. "Perhaps the best."

He didn't answer me. He just held me tighter and kissed my hair. "I love you, Sakura."

I snuggled into him. "I love you, too, Sasuke-kun."

"I want to be with you forever."

"I do, too."

Sasuke didn't say anything. He pulled the blankets over us and whispered sweet words into my ears as I tried not to giggle at how ridiculous some of them were.

"Hey, your dad…he actually seems like a pretty good guy."

"What makes you think that?" I asked, looking up at him.

"He loves you dearly. Almost as much as I love you."

"So you've got something in common, right?"

"Yes."

I put a leg around his waist. He turned hard against me.

"Still doesn't mean I'm crazy about him, though," he murmured.

"It's okay," I said. "We've got all the time in the world."

.

.

.

_"So how was it?" Naruto asked as he sat down next to Papa Haruno at the bar. The man glared before downing another drink._

_"I'd rather not talk about it."_

_"That bad, huh? Did you walk in on them?"_

_"What? No! What's wrong with you?"_

_Naruto shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes they don't lock their door and I walk in on them and…uh…well, Sasuke's very dominant in controlling what he has."_

_Papa Haruno struggled to get up. He held onto Naruto's shoulder for support._

_"Where the fuck does this bastard live again?"_

* * *

**i actually ahve no idea what a real wedding is like so i can't say for sure. i probably got stuff wrong.**

**last chapter was about a wedding too. i'm on a wedding craze haha.**

**a;sdliuapwioeut**

**REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE YOU**


	53. Reverse Oedipal Complex

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **fmylife(dot)com.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-three. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o53: **Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I now knew the reason why Sakura came over to my house for dinner so frequently. She thinks my dad is "hot." FML.

* * *

**.o53.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**R**_e_v**e**_r_s**e **_O_e**d**_i_p**a**_l _C**o**_m_p**l**_e_x

_._

It's not like Sakura didn't stay over often for "sleepovers." She did. A lot. But usually they were _secret_sleepovers when I unlocked my window in the middle of the night and she would climb in by a portable ladder.

I know, this is usually what guys are supposed to do for girls. But after she'd read Twilight, where Edward climbs up into Bella's room, she didn't want to take that risky "creepy" chance, so she decided to reverse the roles.

I can't say that I totally understand her reasoning, but whatever makes her happy…

Anyway, the thing that kept puzzling me is why she came over so often in the early evening—around five or so, so when we're about to eat dinner—so many times. I think she's even come around for dinner more than in my room at night, if I actually count the times.

Of course we invited her to sit with us. We're not like, tyrants or anything. Sometimes, we even prepare another dish in case she decides to come in so she can have her own plate instead of having me share with her. That's how frequently she came.

What was strange though was that she _always_decided to sit next to my dad. She'd sit next to me, too, but if I sat down first, she wouldn't sit next to me unless my dad was sitting next to _her_.

At first I didn't really think of it. Seating isn't a big deal to me. We all sit in different places every day anyway.

But this happened _every. Time._

So I decided to do some investigating. And honestly, I really wish I didn't. I can't take back what I just found out. It would have been better not to even look into it anyway.

But I think it's the simple truth.

My girlfriend thinks my dad is hot.

Thinking about it makes me shudder. I have to go cleanse my mind.

.

**what happened before**

.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said as I finally opened the window to let her in. I shushed her and looked around to see if anybody heard her consistent knocking and loud "Hi, Sasuke-kun!"

"Sorry," she said with a huge grin on her face. "I'm just excited for tonight. I went shopping today and bought some stuff that I hope you like as much as I do." When I helped her in, I noticed how low her shirt cut was and how short her shorts here, revealing a nice, creamy thigh…

How could I stay angry at her?

"Come here," I said, opening my arms. She climbed onto my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face in my shoulder. I put my hands on her waist and slowly made my way up to the inside of her shirt. She squeaked as she felt my hard-on and I smirked while I pressed my lips against her neck.

Sakura took the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. Her breasts were contained by a white see-through bra, and they did little to cover up what I wanted so badly to uncover.

"Do you like it?" she said, blushing.

"Yeah. I do." I took the middle of her bra with my teeth and moved it up, the cups resting over her breasts. Her nipples perked up and I got even harder.

"Are you matching underneath?" I said, my voice hoarse. I couldn't wait to bury myself into her.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I am."

I looked into her eyes and kissed her hard. I pushed her gently onto the bed and undid the buttons on my shirt, tossing it aside with hers. She put her hand on my chest and slid it down slowly, her fingers leaving a burning trail that made me ache.

"You're so handsome," she said.

I didn't say anything. I wanted to tell her how ridiculously beautiful she was, like I always did, but I just couldn't say anything. I was tongue-tied.

I undid the button on her jean shorts and slid them down. Her panties did indeed match her bra, and I could feel the heat emanating from her core. I pressed a finger to her and she moaned, biting her lip to try and stifle it.

"Don't hold back," I said. "Let it all out, Sakura." I pressed my body close to her, her nipples hardening against my chest. She wrapped her legs around my waist and dug her fingernails into my back.

"Sasuke-kun," she moaned softly. I started to thrust against her through my sweatpants.

"Do you want me?" I asked her, smirking. She hated when I teased her.

"Yes!"

"Then tell me you do," I said, pinching one of her nipples and sucking on the other while keeping a steady pace against her.

"I want you—Sasuke-kun, I want you!" Sakura moaned, arching her back as her fingernails pierced my back.

Her flustered face made me lose it. My legs were tangled trying to take off my sweatpants and boxers, but I got them off anyway. I hiked up her bra even higher and hooked my thumbs in her panties, dragging them down.

"You're still on the pill, right?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she breathed.

"I'm going to do it now, okay?" I said, giving her a heads up. I usually did, because I didn't want to hurt her like I did the first time, but I don't think she cared anymore.

She held onto me as I entered her. Her moans were loud, and I didn't think I cared anymore if the whole house heard us. In fact, I _wanted_them to hear us. I wanted them to see how beautiful she was and how much I loved her…

"Wait," I said, pulling out, missing her warmth. She frowned and touched my cheek.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Let's change positions." I helped her up by her wrist and lied down as I helped her sit on me. She spread her legs as I fit into her and I held onto her breasts.

"Sasuke-kun—!" she breathed as she kept bouncing up and down on me. We hadn't done this position in a while—I forgot how good it felt. She seemed to like it better than me.

"That's right, Sakura. Good girl."

"I think—I think I'm going to—Sasuke-kun!" she cried out, her voice loud and piercing. I felt myself coming, too, and I held onto her breasts even tighter as I released myself in her as I felt her sticky warmth envelop me, too.

She collapsed on me and I held her tight, stroking her hair and kissing her face softly. I felt her chest heave up and down and her rapid breathing, and she didn't say anything for a while. I looked into her eyes and smiled, both my hands cupping her cheeks.

"I love you," I said. She knew that. She'd always known that.

"I love you too," she said in response. It was corny, having her say that every time I told her that I loved her, but in a way it comforted me too, because hearing those words come out of her mouth made me forget about all my problems.

She laid her head back on my chest and I pulled a blanket over us.

"Good night," I said.

She fell asleep before she could emit a response.

.

.

.

"Good evening, Uchiha-san," Sakura said as my dad opened the door to see who the "surprise" visitor was. "Hi, Mikoto!" she said, waving to my mom who had come from cooking to welcome her in. My mom positively _adored_Sakura, and treated her like the daughter she never had.

"Sakura-chan! It's so good to see you! I'm making dumplings. You love dumplings, don't you?"

"Of course!" she then turned her attention to me and blushed, remembering last night. I smirked.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun," she said.

"Hey."

"Now, Sasuke, that's no way to talk to your girlfriend," Dad said as he welcomed Sakura in. "Come, Sakura. Would you like some slippers?"

"No thank you," she said, taking off her shoes. "But thanks for the offer."

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes," Mom called from the kitchen. "Why don't you two watch TV or something?"

"Hn." I took Sakura's hand and led her to the couch. We wouldn't be able to do any funny business, because my parents were watching, but we could still hold hands, at least. That was enough for me. I'd gotten more than enough last night. If you know what I mean. Wink, wink.

My dad watched us and it made me feel uncomfortable, although Sakura didn't seem to mind it all. In fact, she was snuggling up all against me and doing some weird kind of stuff that she usually wouldn't do in front of my parents like sucking my neck, and I had no idea why.

"Sakura," I began. She shushed me and whispered in my ear, "Just go with it."

Go with what? What am I supposed to go with?

"Hn."

She licked the inside of my ear and put her hand over my thigh. I'm pretty sure Dad was still watching us, making it super awkward as he could probably see my boner, but I closed my eyes and tried to shut him out.

Then, Sakura stopped licking me, and snuggled next to me, her head on my shoulder. I'm not sure why she quit, but my dad wasn't staring at us anymore. Sakura had a frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Oh, nothing," she said, trying to wave it off. "I'm hungry, that's all."

Yeah. _Hungry_. She doesn't frown when she's hungry. She practically rips the building apart looking for food. But I didn't want to press the situation further, so I put an arm around her and said, "Dinner's almost done, just wait a couple more minutes."

She sighed. Almost impatiently. "Alright." I tried to hold her tighter to me but she wouldn't sit close enough, so I just put my arm awkwardly around her waist.

She wasn't even looking at the TV.

.

.

.

"Time to eat!" Mom said as she took off her apron and served dishes to all of us. I held the chair for Sakura, waiting for her to sit, but she stood there awkwardly and I just held it open awkwardly, too.

"Sakura?" I asked her.

She didn't respond. Instead, her eyes followed my dad's to where he was sitting, and once he sat down at the end of the table, she moved a seat down from where I was holding her seat open and sat down next to him. I sighed, and sat next to her, pushing the seat I originally held for her in.

"It looks wonderful, Mikoto," Sakura said. She was such a kisser-upper. But I knew that she also meant it, which was another thing I loved about her.

"You're too sweet, Sakura," she said, blushing. Ugh. Girl-talk. "Anyway, dig in!" everyone pulled out their chopsticks and said, "Itadakimasu!" in unison.

"Here," Sakura said, handing me the tomatoes in the meal that my mom prepared. "I know you like them," she said.

I put my hand on her thigh under the table. "Thanks," I said. She smiled.

"So, Sakura," my dad began, his voice deep. He cleared it and took a sip of water. "How long have you and Sasuke been dating now?"

"Oh, about eight months or so. We're still going strong." Was that a wink she gave to my dad? Ewwh. Ewwh, ewwh, ewwh.

I have to go bleach my brain.

"That's a long time. And you're how old?"

"Almost eighteen."

"Oh my. Time passes by so quickly."

"It sure does."

I swear to God, she winked again. Mom didn't seem to notice, and Dad didn't either, but I _know _that it wasn't just an eye twitch.

I didn't push the subject yet, and Dad seemed to stop talking about it. We ate for a while, until Mom decided it was time to bring out a cake.

She never made cake unless Sakura was here, because Sakura _loved _cake. Us Uchiha men—me, Dad, and Itachi (when he was still here and not fucking girls in college)—hated sweets. All kinds of sweets.

With the only exception being Sakura.

Sakura leaned over to cut a piece of cake, to which she _accidentally _dropped it on her low-cut shirt. The frosting was on her cleavage.

And instead of dabbing it, she took her pinky, dipped it in, and sucked it, making sure she was looking in my dad's direction.

Oh _hell _no.

I took her by the wrist and she asked, "Where are we going?"

I just said, "I'm going to clean you up."

Clean physically—washing her body, and clean mentally—getting rid of the weird psycho fantasies of my dad and her.

.

.

.

"Sakura," I said as she sat on the edge of the bathtub as I sponged her off. "Do you..." Ugh, I couldn't say this without sounding weird. "Do you find my father attractive?"

I expected her to deny it quickly, but she blushed and said, "Yeah."

I almost choked on my saliva. "What the hell, Sakura? You're dating me!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't _look_!"

"He's _married_!"

"So? Matt Damon's married, but I look at him!"

"That's different!"

Sakura _hmphed! _and looked away, crossing her arms. I sighed.

"I'm not angry at you, Sakura."

"Yes you are!"

"I love you," I said, reassuring her that I wasn't _too _angry.

"I hear you," she muttered. Ouch. She was super angry.

"Hey, hey," I said, turning her face so that she could look at me. "Don't be mad. Okay?" I put the sponge down and held her hands in mine. "Let's just drop it, alright?"

"How can we? This is a big deal."

I sighed. "Sakura…"

I leaned over her. She leaned back, and suddenly, she began to tip.

"Ahh!" she screamed as she clutched onto me before we both fell in the bathtub. Unlike American bathtubs, Japanese bathtubs have water and you shower before so that you're clean in the water and everyone shares.

Nonetheless, we were soaked, and she was still holding on to me.

Plus, her shirt was see-through. And I got hard.

.

.

.

"What the hell, Sasuke?" she shouted.

"It's not my fault you fell!"

"Are you…" she looked at me and then down at my crotch before blushing. "Are you turned on?"

Her bra was showing through the thin fabric of her soaked t-shirt. Of course I was turned on.

"Maybe a little."

Before she could get out, I kissed her hard. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead, I took advantage and put my tongue in her, licking the inside of her mouth, and putting my hand under her shirt.

She struggled for a second, and then held onto me and moaned. That turned me on even more.

I pulled the cup over her breast and took her nipple in between my fingers. Then, I moved it up and down, feeling her turn hard under the water, and she arched her back.

Without hesitation, I put my lips to her bud and sucked her, taking her other breast and massaging it in circular motions.

"S-Sasuke-kun," she moaned.

"Yes?" I teased.

"I—I hate you," she murmured.

"No, you don't," I said. She said that when she was pissed at me, but I knew that she was pissed because I was distracting her from the argument. And distracting myself. I would get rid of all those fantasies she had of my dad, because she was only allowed to focus solely on _me_.

"You're right," she admitted. "I don—Sasuke-kun!" she shrieked as I pressed my fingers against her core, feeling the heat emanate from her wet panties.

I tore off my wet shirt—it was pretty hard to do since it clung onto me like a second skin.

She reached for my pants and unzipped them, her hands shaking. The water was quickly becoming warm from our foreplay, and she struggled to get them off.

"Wait," I said, holding her hands. "Touch me here," I said, leading them to my chest. I wanted her to feel my heartbeat. How fast it was. How much love I felt for her.

She pressed her palm to my breast before trailing her fingers down to my abs. I groaned, and she wrapped her thighs around me.

"Let's do it right now," she said softly. She took off her panties and helped me with my pants and boxers. I was about to take her on top, but she would be underwater, so we had to compromise.

"You could do me doggy," she said. "Or I could, uhm, sit on you."

"What's more comfortable for you?" I asked, holding her tight to me.

"Either is fine. I, uh…" she kissed my neck softly, whispering, "I just want you."

That set me on fire. I turned her around so suddenly that she splashed and water got outside of the tub. She was on her hands and knees, and her breasts were half-submerged in the water. I got on my own knees and put my hands on her hips, the tip of my cock poking into her.

"S-Sasuke-kun," she moaned. My hands traveled from her hips to her breasts, taking them in my hands before slowly palming each one of them. I kept pushing slowly in her, tantalizing her, and then I felt my whole shaft becoming buried in her warmth.

She moved her hips against me while I thrusted. "Sakura," I moaned. "You're so tight." I held onto her breasts even harder and flicked her nipples.

"Ah—oh, Sasuke-kun," she moaned. Her breathing became heavier and she moved even faster, which meant that was going to cum soon.

"Wait," I said, wanting to make sure I could prolong this as long as I could. We'd never made love in water. The experience was blissful.

"I can't, Sasuke-kun, I think—" she stopped speaking and I pushed into her even harder and faster. I put my hands back on her hips.

"Sakura…" I felt my own climax coming.

Then, Sakura let out a cry of relief, her stickiness oozing all over me. I pulled out, coming on her back. Then, I turned her over, and she put her arms around me and sat on my lap, burying her face in my shoulder.

"I love you," she said. "More than anything."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

I didn't push the topic of my dad anymore. I knew that she loved me, and that was all to it. Sure, she could still ogle guys, but she would always be faithful to me, and that was that.

I sighed in relief, stroking her wet hair. "Let's towel off," I said. "You can borrow some of my clothes."

"I don't think I'll need to," she murmured, her hand trailing down to my cock again. "But maybe later."

I got hard again.

Fuck.

.

.

.

_"You _do _know that she was trying to seduce you, right?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"And…?"_

_"Well, I'm not going to say I _didn't _like it."_

_Slap! "You bastard!"_

_"Hey, hey! I love you, you know that!"_

_"That still doesn't give you a right to look at eighteen year old girls like that!"_

_"She's not eighteen yet!"_

_Mikoto frowned. "That's even worse!"_

_Fugaku took her in his arms. "I only love you, okay? Don't worry about it. Plus, I think they're having their own special time upstairs," he said, motioning to the bathroom where the small cries were coming from._

_"Only me?"_

_"Only you."_

_She hugged him back. "I hate you."_

_"I know."_

* * *

**fugasaku is weird lol. why the fuck did i write this.**

**i'm starting to do ooc sasuke...**

**I NEED TO UDPATE MORE FICS OMG**

**review review review review review**


	54. Wiki Says

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: ** .  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-four. third person.  
******FML o54: **Today, I spent three and half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura spent half the day making a Wikipedia article about herself. Not even a minute after being published, it was deleted because she was a "non-notable person nobody's heard of. Ever." Ouch. FML.

* * *

**.o54.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)**

**W**_i_k**i** _S_a**y**_s_

_._

Sakura decided that she needed to do something with her life. Something productive. Something admirable. Something that would make her feel _accomplished_.

And what other place was there that could combine all three things than the Internet? Nowhere else, that's what.

This thing—this special, odd thing known as the _Internet_—was the gateway to success for some people. And the way to drop down as a nobody for others. Sakura, however, was stuck in the middle. She had a choice whether or not she wanted to go up the stairway to heaven or down on the highway to hell.

She sat down at her computer desk. Made sure she was comfortable sitting cross-legged in her leather seat, pursing her lips and cracking her knuckles to make sure she wouldn't cramp up before typing.

Sakura opened her laptop. Powered it on. Waited for her home screen, a wall paper of Nyan Cat, to appear. She took a deep breath. This was life changing for her!

"Calm down, Sak," she told herself. "You can do it." She felt her fingers begin to shake and feet begin to become clammy. She rubbed her palms together and saw Nyan Cat. Then, going past her nervousness, she took her mouse, opened up her Internet browser, and reached her homepage.

"Okay. First step is accomplished. Here's a pat on the back for you, Sakura," she said, talking to herself. She then hovered her fingers over the keys. Suddenly, one finger dropped. And then another. Soon, she was typing quickly into the address bar to a website she and everyone else knew so well.

"W…w…w…dot," she began, typing as she spoke the letters out loud. "Wikipedia…dot org." She then pressed enter and was greeted by the Wikipedia homepage. A drop of sweat trickled down her brow, but she wiped it away impatiently.

"So close!" she murmured. She was almost there! Then, she used her mouse to log in to her Wikipedia account. She knew the website so well after being a member on it for years, editing the summaries for bad romantic comedies and occasionally rewriting history…

"Create new article," Sakura muttered. "Yup."

The texts and everything was in front of her. Right in front of her. She had the world's _power _in her hands right now. And she would be _so _responsible with it.

"Okay. Title page. Haruno Sakura. I'll even add the kanji and katakana to it to make it super official," she said, pulling up her English/Japanese translators so that she could type in the characters.

"And I'll just put up an image…" she uploaded a picture of her that was ironically the same as the one she used as her Facebook profile. "There. Now I'll just type up my biography from the moment of my birth to right now. And then—voila!"

_This is serious business_, Sakura thought to herself. She uncrossed her legs and took out her reading glasses, putting them on. _No more play time_.

And so it began.

Her fingers made its way across the keys quicker than lightning. Her bangs fell in front of her face and she didn't push them aside like she usually would have, since all that mattered was typing up anything and everything that she felt was important.

But…

Sakura paused for a second. She'd at least have the pleasure of letting her friends know on Facebook. I mean, they were a big part of her life, so they should obviously know that their friend was going straight up to the top of celebrity level.

She stopped typing for a second to open up a new tab. After logging in, she posted in caps lock on her wall:

GONNA BE FAMOUS WRITING AN ARTICLE ON WIKIPEDIA CHECK IT OUT SOON GUYZ I LOVE YOUUH

After posting it, she tabbed out of Facebook and back into Wikipedia.

Staring at the computer, she put her fingers over the keys again. And typed.

.

.

.

Sasuke had his laptop on his knees while sitting outside on his deck swing, rocking himself slowly. He was usually on Facebook due to the fact Sakura made him create one, and Naruto made him stay on it. His two best friends were surely the weirdest people he'd ever met, and the fact that he stayed friends with them made it even weirder.

Well, staying friends with _Naruto _was a little weird. Sakura, on the other hand, was a different story…

So maybe he had a little crush on her. After all, guys who are best friends with girls or vice versa usually end up having crushes on them. And he knew that she liked him in middle school, though he wasn't sure if she still did. Anyway, just being by her side made him feel a little warm. The warmth that he never felt before.

"Sakura's offline?" he mused, smirking. "She's never off on Facebook." He looked at her profile. Her smiling picture gave him little butterflies in his stomach. He always thought that she and Naruto had the best smiles.

Her wall post, written about five or six minutes ago, said:

**GONNA BE FAMOUS WRITING AN ARTICLE ON WIKIPEDIA CHECK IT OUT SOON GUYZ I LOVE YOUUH**

He chuckled softly to himself. Of course Sakura would do that. It was Sakura, bad grammar and all. And with super high hopes.

Sasuke "liked" her post, writing a teasing comment: "Make sure to visit us when you're in Hollywood."

Then, he signed off, closing the lid of his computer and heading back inside.

(…Because he was a vampire burning in the sun!)

.

.

.

"All done!" Sakura said proudly. Her fingers started to cramp a little.

About four and a half hours had passed and Sakura had written a _huge _Wikipedia article. Scrolling down to the bottom would take at least two or three minutes to reach the very last word.

"Now all I have to do is proofread it. And then…I can publish it!" she fist pumped the air. "Yeah, Sakura!"

With quick eyes, she read the whole thing over again, fixing some grammatical errors and correcting miscellaneous words. Then, while saving a copy of it in case her computer crashed, she said, "Now for the ceremonial event."

_Click_.

"It's posted!" she shrieked in happiness, almost tipping back in her chair. "I did it! I'm on my way to becoming a star!" She paused. "I've got to call Sasuke."

Taking her cell phone out of her pocket, she dialed speed dial 2, which was Sasuke. (Speed dial 3 was Naruto).

"Hello?" Sasuke answered, picking up after the first two rings.

"Sasuke-kun!" she said. He winced at the loud sound of her voice through the earpiece. "What is it, Sakura?"

"I'm gonna be famous!" she said.

"Good for you," he said, smirking. She was such a child sometimes. But that was one of the things he really liked most about her.

"Will you read my article?" she said. "Here, I'll send you the link."

"Sakura—"

Too late. She had already hung up, and he imagined her fast fingers texting the link. Soon, he heard the small _beep!_ that signified the incoming text.

"Oh, Sakura," he said, shaking his head. He opened the browser.

_Sorry, this page does not exist._

He raised an eyebrow.

His phone beeped again.

_WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY ARTICLE  
SON OF A BITCH_

He couldn't help but chuckle. He knew Sakura was agitated, but seeing her like this was…priceless. But then again, he needed to comfort her, or else…

Sasuke pressed the number two on his phone. No one knew that she was his first speed dial contact, especially since he refused to let anybody touch his phone—not even Sakura when she wanted to try and beat his score on Temple Run.

"Sasuke-kunnnn!" she whined.

Yup.

.

.

.

"Open the door, Sakura," Sasuke said as he knocked, driving to her house in order to make sure she was alright and not throwing things all over the place. "Come on, Sakura."

He heard footsteps approaching and the door opened just a crack. Her eye peered in from the slit and she opened it wider before throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his chest.

"Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun! I need you to soothe me in my time of need!"

"…_What _time of need?" he said, awkwardly patting her back. She released herself from him, and grabbed his hand. "Come on, sit down. I need to explain this in full detail. Nothing must be left out."

He enjoyed the feeling of his hand in hers as he walked to the living room he knew so well. Making himself comfortable on the couch, Sasuke crossed his legs and folded his arms, leaning back so that he sunk into the leather cushions. He sighed in relaxation.

"Here's a cup of your favorite tea—jasmine, right? I'll set it down right there," she said, placing the steaming hot teacup on the coffee table in front of the couch. He gave her a nod of thanks as she took hers daintily in her hand, sipping softly.

"So what's wrong?" he asked, not sure how he should phrase it.

"Everything!" Sakura said, suddenly changing her behavior. She placed her cup on the coffee table and took his shoulders in her hands, shaking him back and forth. "Everything's gone wrong! I was _so _close—_this _close on my way to stardom, but…but…" she said, her bottom lip starting to quiver.

Sasuke tried not to let his lip curl up into a smirk. She was _such _a drama queen. He knew that she wasn't going to cry. She only cried when she was upset about serious things. But still, seeing her like this made him want to laugh.

"Whoa, start from the beginning. And slow down," he said, prying her hands off his shoulders. She turned to face him, her hands folded on her lap. She took a deep breath and put a stray lock of hair back over her ear.

"Okay, so…"

.

.

.

"So…you're upset because you spent half a day working on a Wikipedia article that you assumed would make you a celebrity in 24 hours?"

"Yeah."

"Did you at least save a copy of it?"

"Thankfully."

Sasuke shrugged. "Then there's no need to worry about it now, is there? You've got a copy. Why not just post it on your Tumblr or whatever blog you use nowadays?"

"Well, yeah, but even if I _did _post it on my Blogspot, Livejournal, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, _and _Tumblr, it still wouldn't be as good as Wikipedia. Wikipedia _is _the Internet, Sasuke."

"Well, couldn't you just share it or something?"

She shook her head. "You obviously don't understand the Internet."

"Yeah, because I have a life," he muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Hn. Anyway, Sakura, if you want me to read it so bad, pull it up and I'll check it out."

"You would?"

"Sure."

"Yay!" she hopped off the couch and almost spilled the teacups. "Whoops! Come over here—wait, I'll just bring my laptop over," she said, going across the room and then coming back, her computer on her lap. She scooted closer to him so that he could see, making him a _little _too uncomfortable. Plus, she smelled really, really good.

"It's pretty long," she said. "But I know you're a fast reader."

"Whatever." He took the computer from her and nearly choked on his saliva.

"Seventy-four pages? What the hell, Sakura? You typed this up in a day?"

"I told you it was long!"

"I was thinking it would be, like, eight or something!"

Sakura glared. "You obviously underestimate my power."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, regaining his cool. "Alright. Don't bother me for a little bit. Make sure to wake me up when the next winter comes along," he joked.

She playfully slapped him. "Just read it!"

"Fine." He started from the top.

_Haruno Sakura_

There was her Japanese name right next to the English letters.

_(Born March 28, 1995)…_

.

.

.

"This was painful," Sasuke said, finishing the last sentence of her autobiography. Who knew that there was so much to write about?

"Was it good? This would obviously have made some celebrity material, but _nooo_. Obviously, Wikipedia thinks it's better than me."

"Well, they do have a billion more dollars than you'll ever make."

"Stop making me feel bad!" Sakura said. "I worked hard on that!"

"It was good," he said, providing a decent amount of feedback he could without lying through his teeth. "You really put a lot of effort into it."

"I did." She sighed. "But it's all for nothing."

He scrolled back up to the top, taking a long time. She crossed her arms.

"Well, it's okay. Now that you've read it and told me what you think, I guess I can accept…" she paused, her eyes widening when Sasuke had gotten to the very top of the page.

"No! Don't read that!" she said, attempting to cover the screen. Sasuke, still having control of the laptop, pried it away from her and moved it to the opposite side of where she was sitting. She leaned over in order to try and get it away from him, and he looked at the screen while trying to avoid her sharp nails in order to see what she was trying to hide from him.

Something odd caught his eye.

In her biography, the side bar where her smiling picture of herself was on top of her information: the name, birthday, hometown, he saw the very last info section.

_Spouse: Uchiha Sasuke (1995-current)_

He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. How had he missed this before?

Sasuke felt Sakura stop clawing at him. She paused in her seat. Then, awkwardly, she stood up and said, "I'll go refill your tea." Taking the teacups, he stopped her by latching onto her wrist with one hand while carrying her laptop with the other.

"Sit down," he ordered. She bit her lip, and he pulled her back to him, almost sitting on his lap.

He didn't know what he was doing at that moment. His heart began to speed up—just a little bit—and he looked into her flustered face. She was obviously incredibly embarrassed.

"I-I think you should just ignore that," she said. "It was a joke! Really! All in good humor."

Sasuke didn't say anything. He just continued to stare at Sakura before he cupped her cheek with one hand and stroked it gently with his thumb. Her face was so smooth, and the heat radiated under his finger.

Sakura felt her heartbeat speed up. She had always liked Sasuke—in middle school, and even now, though she tried to hide it through their awkward friendship.

He was pressing his forehead against hers. Sasuke could feel her hot breath on his lips and he wanted so badly to close the distance between them.

"My…my laptop," she said, motioning over behind him.

"Forget it for now." His voice was hoarse and husky and it gave Sakura the chills she never felt before. She almost melted into his arms. "Just pay attention to me."

He took her face with both hands and pressed the tip of his nose to hers. Then, he tilted her head up so that her lips touched his so lightly it seemed as if they weren't even kissing at all.

She pulled away. "Sasuke-kun," she said quietly.

"You still like me." It wasn't a question.

"…Yes."

"Thank you," he murmured. He didn't want to tell her how he felt. He assumed she would be able to figure it out sooner or later, if not now. Sasuke didn't know what to do, so he took his hands off her face and held her close to him.

He half-expected her to pull away, but instead, she relaxed into his arms and put her hands on his back, resting her head in his shoulder.

"You're not mad?" she asked softly.

"Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. Maybe you'd get annoyed," she said sheepishly.

"I'm not."

They held each other for a couple minutes, until Sakura pushed him away softly and said, "My…my laptop. I need to charge it."

"Sure." He handed it back to her and she blushed, still noticing the section on her spouse, before saving it and closing it.

"It was a good piece," he said finally. "Really."

"Thank you."

"You could really be a celebrity one day. I could see it."

"You could?" she asked.

He wasn't even saying it to be nice. She saw that he really meant it. "Yeah. But I don't know if it'll be through writing. Maybe through acting. After all," he said, placing a finger underneath her chin. "You are a good drama queen."

This caused her to crack a smile. She slapped his arm. "Stop it, you!"

"Hn," he said back.

They sat there for a couple seconds.

"I'll go refill your tea. It's getting cold," she said. "And don't try to stop me this time," she half-joked.

"Hn."

She took the cups and went back into the kitchen. Sasuke pressed his fingers against his lips, feeling the little tingle of electricity still linger.

He liked Sakura. A lot. Perhaps someday, he _would _become her spouse and she would be a big celebrity. Quite possibly not through writing, though.

Maybe someday.

"I'm back," Sakura said, placing a new cup of hot tea in front of him. He then reached over and took her laptop back.

"Give it!" she said.

"One second."

He opened the file and scrolled to the very bottom.

_Soon_, he typed as the new last sentence.

Soon, probably, they'd be in a big mansion with a million kids and they'd be living the high-life.

Maybe soon, as long as Wikipedia didn't take down another one of her articles.

* * *

**omg this was super short lol**

**SUMMER IS HERE AND I WILL BE UPDATING MORE OFTEN  
REVIEW PLEASE ILU**


	55. Squeeze

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: ** .  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-five. sakura's pov.  
******FML o55: **Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, all of my guy friends kept hugging me really tight and then soft and then tight again. Later, I found out it was because they wanted to feel my chest on their chest. Wow. FML.

* * *

**.o55.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**S**_q_u**e**_e_z**e**_!_

_._

If there's one thing I'm proud of, it's my chest.

Now there are all these rumors that "Haruno Sakura's flat" or "She's got a nice ass, but she's about as busty as an airport runway." I think I _do _have a nice ass, but I can tell you firsthand, my chest is _not _flat.

There are some reasons why people would say that, though. I was really insecure about my breasts as they developed, faster than other girls. Plus, they would always get in the way of what I was doing—running and jogging, playing sports, hell, even trying on new clothes! So, I'd wear a couple bras over each other or bind them tight since I was about ten. I'm seventeen now. And I've finally decided that I would be proud of my assets, not ashamed or embarrassed.

However, this still did not come without _more _rumors.

"She definitely got implants. Look at them! From a flat chest to a landslide!"

"They're not real. You can see how they don't bounce with every hip sashay."

"I wanna touch them. Is that okay? Do you think she'll mind if I just went up to her and grabbed her titties? They look really good."

I ignored these comments, trying not to punch some horny sucker in the face. But I didn't let anything stop me. Instead of slouching so that nobody could see my boobs, I stood up with a straight posture, which accentuated my breasts, instead. I would be proud of my gift. Gifts. Plural.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, coming up to me with the rest of the guys. He paused halfway in his sentence, his eyes trailing down towards…

"Naruto…" I muttered, cracking my knuckles, obviously pissed.

"I wasn't—I mean, they're just—"

"Shut up, Naruto!" Kiba snarled. But I could see Kiba's line of vision as well.

In fact, I think the only one who wasn't staring at my chest was Sasuke, who seemed to be facing the other direction, almost awkwardly.

What a shame. He was probably the only guy that I would let stare at my breasts.

"Forget it," I said. "Let's just forget this ever happened. Okay?"

"Sure," they said as I walked past them.

But I forgot my other asset that seemed to attract them—my _ass_.

(Ass? Asset? Ah-ha!)

.

.

.

I have girl friends, too, don't get me wrong. It's just that the girl world is so much more strict than the guy world. For guys, they don't care if your hair is messed up or if you've gained half a pound. They like you the way you are most of the time, and so I feel much more comfortable with them than with the female species I'm so insecure about.

"I'm hungry," I complained as we walked to the cafeteria. I didn't know where to walk, because I could feel my guy friends' eyes looking down at my butt, so I slowed my pace and trailed behind them.

"What do you guys want to eat?" Naruto asked, frowning as I managed to slide behind the rest of the group, next to Sasuke.

"I want some chicken," Kiba complained. "So does Akamaru. I'll save some for him when I get home."

"I want some yogurt," Sai said. "I heard it helps you maintain a good figure!"

"Salad bar for me, yosh!" Lee exclaimed. "What about you, Sakura-chan?"

The guys all turned to look at me. I shrugged, a little unsure.

"Whatever's good, I guess."

They accepted this answer and turned back to get their food. I turned to Sasuke, who looked straight ahead at what seemed to be a white wall.

"What do you want, Sasuke?"

"Tomatoes," he said. I grinned.

"You _always _eat tomatoes. Don't you want something else?"

"Hn." He walked past me, leaving me behind.

"Sasu_ke_!" I whined. "Don't do this!" I was joking, of course, but he continued to walk away from me.

So I went in line with the rest of my friends and decided to take a look at that day's menu.

.

.

.

We sat down at our usual table. They had dumplings today, which are my favorite food. Taking a pair of the disposable chopsticks, we all said our prayers in unison, and then began to eat.

Our tables don't have backrests, and the weight on my chest was making my shoulders ache a little. I rolled my shoulders a little bit and massaged my neck. Apparently, this seemed to hypnotize the guys for a minute.

"What?" I asked.

They shook their heads, as if awakening from their trance. "Nothing."

"Good."

I leaned forward, hoping it would ease the pain. So it happens, my breasts were actually just resting on the table while I ate my dumplings. I reached for another dumpling, bringing it to my mouth, before accidentally dropping it. It landed on my bright white new uniform, staining it slightly just above my boobs.

"Shit," I muttered, leaning back to examine the stain. "Can I use your napkin?" I asked Sai, who handed a clean one to me, not making eye contact. I rubbed my shirt, not paying attention that my friends were all staring at me, before Naruto abruptly got up and said, "I need to use the bathroom."

I tried to wipe off the stain, but it was there for good until I could wash it at home. I sighed, crumpling up the napkin. Then, I looked at Naruto's empty seat.

"Another upset stomach?" I asked.

They nodded their heads at the same time, their jaws still open.

.

.

.

"Hey, Sasuke!" I said. "You still mad?" I joked.

He turned away, but answered me. "I was never mad."

"Oh, good. You know, I always thought you had some kind of grudge against me or whatever."

"Hn."

I raised my eyebrows. "So…you do?"

"No."

"That's good." We stood there in an awkward silence. I looked over to him. Although I couldn't see his whole face, just seeing part of him made me giggly inside. I've always had the biggest crush on him since, well…we became friends. And I think he knows this, because I kind of hinted it before in middle school, but we haven't done anything about it. I don't even know if he feels the same way.

"See you," he said, turning to leave. It just came out like that. First we were talking about…well, nothing, but now he's leaving?

I kind of don't want him to leave. I like having this one-on-one time with him, instead of the group.

But I didn't say anything. I just uttered a "bye."

Damn.

.

**a few days later**

.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled as I walked into school. He almost _glomped _me, and I had the wind knocked out of me from his sudden pounce.

"Hi, Naruto," I said, holding him, making sure I didn't fall over.

"I haven't seen you in forever!"

"…It was only three days," I said, meaning the day offs and the weekend.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He then hugged me super tight. I almost couldn't breathe. And then he loosened up, real soft. Then, he hugged me tight again.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"…What are you doing?" I asked, almost suffocating.

He pulled away. "What? I can't hug my friend who is a girl?"

I bit my lip. "I mean, you _can_. It's just that you never _do_."

He laughed. "Whatever. See you in a bit, Sakura-chan!"

"Bye."

.

.

.

For some reason, the rest of the guys kept on embracing me as well. Sai came up to me and held me close to him, which was actually pretty comforting. Then, he squeezed me tight, knocking the breath out of me. After that, he was hugging me softly again. And then another tight squeeze. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he patted my head and walked away.

That's not all.

Kiba opened his arms wide for a hug, which I gave him (because Kiba usually never asks for hugs, so what the hell?), but then things started getting weird. He rested his head on my shoulder and rubbed up and down my back, squeezing me really tight, then loosening up, and then really tight again.

Hell, even _Lee _had some funky stuff going on.

"Sakura-chan!" he shouted with the passion in his voice he usually had. "I'd love to give you the warm embrace that the mother panda gives to her children!"

He took me in his arms and swung me around like they did in the movies, which was a little uncomfortable considering that I probably knocked the faces of four or five pedestrians with each spin.

But there it was again. That patterned hard squeeze, soft squeeze, hard squeeze. He put me down, and I felt dizzy.

"Yosh, Sakura-chan! Stay youthful forever!"

I didn't respond, afraid of throwing up.

"Bye, now!"

I've gotten more hugs than I've probably ever needed. This will last me a lifetime, for sure.

I counted off the people who hugged me. Naruto, Sai, Kiba, Lee…

Every one of my guy friends except for Sasuke. Who I wouldn't mind hugging. In fact, I'd like to hug him very much.

Ugh.

.

.

.

"Did you feel them?" Naruto asked as he grouped back with the rest of the guys. "They're so big and warm and soft, almost like marshmallows!"

"Dude, I was so tempted to like, unhook her bra and let them fly," Kiba smirked. "I was getting so hard."

"They're like a goddess's, which I would love to draw…and bury my face in," Sai added with a mischievous grin.

"Yosh! How delightful are the female species' mammary glands! I'd like to suckle her like a baby!"

The four guys were interrupted by a giant slap on the table from Sasuke, who seemed unrealistically angry.

"Shut _up_," he muttered. "Just shut the hell up."

Naruto made an "o" with his mouth, before making a huge grin. "You're just angry 'cuz you didn't get to feel those beauties on your chest, huh?"

"No!"

"Awwh, come on. You _are_."

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are."

"Just listen—if she knew about this, how pissed do you think she would be? That you guys are using her to whack off later tonight? Yeah, her chest is great, but her face and her personality are even more beautiful."

Sasuke was panting, and his friends stared at him in silence, before Lee shyly said, "What is…_whacking off_?"

"That's it."

Sasuke walked past the guys and out of the room. He needed to explain something to someone.

.

.

.

"Sakura."

She was in the library, reading a book. The uniform did a poor job of hiding her cleavage, which Sasuke forced himself not to look down at.

"Hey! What's up, Sasuke?" she said, putting a bookmark at her place.

"I need to talk to you." He took her wrist and led her out of the library.

"Wait, Sasuke—my book!"

"We'll get it later," he said, emphasizing the _we_. "First, I need to talk to you."

"Okay. What is it?" I loved the feeling of his hand around my wrist. I just wish he would grab my hand instead.

He led me to an empty classroom and closed the door, making sure nobody would be coming in.

"I…" he sat down across from me. "I want to apologize for the rest of the group's behavior today."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Their little stunt they pulled with you." He seemed to be getting redder and redder by the second.

"I don't…I can't understand what you're saying. What stunt?"

By now, he was almost flustered.

"Their hugging," he said softly, almost inaudible. "The inappropriate hugging."

"Inappropriate…?" I asked, not sure what he meant.

He cursed under his breath. "You're an idiot," he said. "I mean how they kept hugging you so that they could feel your breasts against them!"

"Oh."

Wow. I did _not _expect those words to come out of Sasuke's mouth. I didn't know that he was capable of saying breasts and blushing at the same time.

"So…they did that hard, soft, hard thing so that they could feel my boobs?"

"Basically, yes."

"And…why weren't _you _a part of this?" I asked, genuinely interested. He looked up, his face turning even redder. He refused to look at me.

"Because I'm more mature than them."

Before I could say anything else, he got up and walked out the door. Again.

.

.

.

"Shit," Sasuke cursed. He closed the door behind him, almost jumping when he saw his friends cross their arms angrily in front of him.

"Don't fucking do that!" Sasuke said. "You almost gave me a heart attack. My goodness."

"You _told _her?" Naruto said. "Why would you do that, man? Are you against the bro-code or something?"

"_What _bro-code? There is none for this!"

"I get it," Naruto said, unfolding his arms. "You _like _her."

"What the _hell _are you talking about, Naruto?" Sasuke said.

"Don't play dumb. We all like her, more than just a friend. But you. You're _smitten _by her. You get that weird, crazed look in your eye and that half-smile when she talks to you."

The rest of the guys nodded in unison.

"Go for it, dude. I mean, she probably likes you back. And if she doesn't, you tried, right? Hell, all of us had asked her on a date before. And we've all got rejected."

The guys nodded again, sadly this time.

"But I think _you _have a chance. Now go back in there." They opened the door and pushed Sasuke back in. He stumbled, clutching onto a desk for support, and looked up to see me staring out the window, almost disappointingly.

"Sasuke?" I asked, turning around. "I thought you left."

"I did," he said. "But…"

"But what? Did you forget something?"

He shook his head.

"I want to ask you a question."

"O…kay?" I said. "What is it?"

He looked like he was in pain, not knowing what to say. "I, uh. Shit." He scratched the back of his neck. "Do you, uh." I've never seen him this nervous. "Do you like me?"

Truthfully, I was taken back by his question. Did I like him? Of course I liked him! I always did!

Instead, I blushed. Really badly. I looked at my shoes.

"Sort of."

"Sort of as in as a friend, or something more?"

"The second one," I said. Wow. I had lost all my use of the Japanese language and I was just spitting out gibberish.

"Cool."

I felt my eyes tear up. Was he not going to say he liked me? Did he just want to know if I liked him?

"Because…" I saw him step closer to me. "I like you too."

I jerked up at this. He put his hands on my shoulders, and I could see he was blushing. Really, _really _blushing.

"I don't like when other guys look at you like that. Or touch you. It makes me so angry, but…" he ruffled his hair. "Ugh. I don't know how to say this."

I could see that he was trying to say things he wasn't comfortable with but that he wanted to get out. I wiped my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, trying not to press my boobs against his chest.

He froze, and then put his arms around me. His chin rested on my hair.

I felt his hands make their way to my rib cage. He then pulled apart to look at me, and I realized he was asking permission if he could, uh, touch them.

I nodded, and felt his fingers gently touch the bottom curves of my breasts. Then, he stopped.

"I don't want to go further today," he said. "Is that alright with you?"

Uhm, no. But yes at the same time. "Yeah."

I leaned up on my tippy-toes and kissed his cheek. "Let's go."

Hand in hand, we walked out of the classroom. Once outside, Sasuke looked around and gave a sigh of relief.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head, smirking. "Nothing." He then put an arm around my waist and we walked down the hallway, and back to the library so I could get my book back.

.

.

.

_We sat all lovey-dovey at the table (with me being lovey-dovey, because Sasuke doesn't do that kind of stuff in public). I snuggled up to him, his arm in between my boobs. I knew that he was getting turned on and that the rest of the guys were _aching_ in jealousy (serves them right for doing that hugging thing to me!)._

_"You know, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, putting down his chopsticks. "In case your bras don't work out well or something, I can hold your boobs up for you. Not for me. For you."_

_"…Naruto…" I growled. I pushed Sasuke away to lunge for his throat._

_Too bad, though, because Sasuke had already gotten ahold on his collar._

_"Wait! I was kidding! Sakura-channnn!"_

* * *

**fairly short chapter, lol.**

**btw in case you guys didnt notice i deleted like half of my stories. so yeah.**

**please review, i love love love reviews!**

**and i know sakura's not like a titty monster but i dont believe sh'es flat, either. =O**


	56. I Like This

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: ** .  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-six. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o56: **Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. She just doesn't know the difference between a Wall post and a private message. I figured it out when she described how much she enjoyed the "time" with me yesterday. Explicitly. FML.

* * *

**.o56.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**I **_L_i**k**_e _T**h**_i_s

_._

_prompt by xHeartofBlazexX_

"Mm," Sakura moaned as I kissed her neck, my hands on her cheeks, cupping them. Her fingers clasped my hair and I groaned as she arched her back, her bra pressing against my chest. I could feel her nipples through the thin lace.

"Good girl," I murmured as I pushed her down onto the bed so that I was on top of her. I licked her neck before tracing the outline of her lips, and then kissed her passionately. She moaned, letting me put my tongue in her mouth, and she clawed at my back.

Turning her head so that she could kiss me better, Sakura struggled to undo her bra as she wrapped her legs around my waist. "I love you," she said airily as I took her mouth with mine.

"Love you, too," I mumbled as I helped her undo her bra. It fell to the floor, and I pulled her arms away gently so that I could look at her breasts.

"Kami, you're beautiful," I said with awe. I'd seen her breasts a million times before, but each time always seemed like something new. I bent down and took her nipple in my mouth, sucking it softly before running my tongue over it. I felt her go hard in my mouth and she arched her back, dragging my hand to her other breast.

Her eyes gave me this lusty look and I smirked. I kept sucking her, this time more roughly, while massaging her other breast in my hand. She moaned loudly, clenching my hair, and I let go of her breast with a small _pop!_

She was sopping wet down there, and just lying there, waiting for me to take her. Her breasts were pink and flushed from embarrassment and arousal and her panties were so wet. I put my finger on the outside of her core and she jumped.

"Oh!"

I stroked her hair as she removed my pants and my boxers, throwing them to the floor. She put her hand gently on my manhood, and grazed them with her fingernails.

"Kami, Sakura," I groaned, throwing my head back. "You drive me crazy."

She got up to take me in her hand, stroking me up and down. I held her head close to me and she sucked the top slowly, her sounds loud and erotic. Then, she took her breasts in her hand and put my cock in between them, rubbing up and down.

"You're so good at titty-fucks," I said. I couldn't think straight, not with her breasts rubbing up against my cock.

I saw her smirk. She started to move them even faster. I was going to cum.

"Sakura…" I moaned.

"Do you like it, Sasuke-kun?" she said, oh so sweetly.

She knew I was going to ejaculate, so she put her mouth over my cock and took it all in, releasing her breasts from me. Sakura then lied back down and spread her legs, wanting something in return for her.

I smirked, too. "Fine." I pulled down her panties and tossed them on the other side of the room. She was sopping wet. With one finger, I inserted it in her and watched her moan loudly as I hit the part she liked the most. Soon, I put in another finger, using them as if I were inside her. She rocked her hips with my fingers, and I put three in.

The sight of her thrusting against my hand made me hard again, and I took my fingers out, licking them in front of her.

"Y-You suck," she said breathlessly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"I…was going to cum."

"Let me fix that." I put my head in between her legs and licked her up, savoring her flavor. She almost shrieked, covering her mouth as I felt her smooth thighs under my palms. She jolted, and I knew that she was so close.

"Sasuke-kun," she moaned. "Sasuke-kun, I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

Her juices were all over my mouth, but I took her all in. She was panting heavily, twitching.

"We're not done yet, _Sakura_," I positioned myself over her, and she put her hands on my shoulders. She was already wet, so sliding into her was easier than ever. She cried out in pleasure as I moved against her, my thrusts matching her breathing.

Sakura put her hands on her breasts and kneaded them, increasing her arousal. I pressed my lips against hers, and she responded back eagerly.

Soon, we decided to switch positions—she was on top of me as I was under her, and she dragged my hands to her breasts as she did the cowgirl position, bouncing on top of me.

I took her nipples in my fingers and squeezed them as she sped up her pace.

Now, I wanted to be in charge again. I took her by the hips and picked her up, throwing her back onto the bed. She was on her stomach, and I put my hands on her hips again and lifted her so that her buttocks were in the air. I entered her from behind.

"Sasuke-kun!" she squealed, moving back and forth, her breasts moving against the blankets. "It feels…so good!"

"You like it?" I groaned in between thrusts. She cried out in response.

I started to move faster, feeling myself going to explode.

"If you're going to cum," she said. "Do it inside of me. I'm on the pill."

This increased my arousal, and I sped up each of my thrusts to the point where she was crying out in pain. I didn't care if the world heard. They deserved to know how beautiful and wonderful she was.

I then felt myself spill inside of her, and she moaned in synchronization before I pulled out and took her in my arms.

"Mm, that was good," she said as I kissed her jaw. "You get better each time."

"I'd hope so." I kissed her neck. "After all, I _am _a sex veteran."

She slapped me playfully. "Perv."

"Hn."

.

.

.

Sakura went back to her apartment and after I took a cold shower, I logged onto my Facebook.

Which is a guilty pleasure. I know that I shouldn't be wasting time on there, but still, it's wonderful.

I checked my notifications—lots from Naruto, commenting on my statuses, some from Itachi, and others from my mom and dad, leaving messages like, "Love you, honey!" and such.

Sighing, I saw that I had a request for a friendship. I clicked on it, wondering who would send me one, especially with the tight security I have on my account.

_Haruno Sakura  
32 mutual friends_

Of course I wouldn't say no. We just had the most mindblowing sex last night, and I love her deeply. I clicked Confirm.

Sitting back, I stared at my screen, smirking. She _finally _got a Facebook account after months of prodding her to do so. And for some reason, this made me feel really proud of her.

I have really low standards when it comes to this kind of stuff.

.

**a few hours later**

.

I went out to buy food to stock in my refrigerator (you know, because Sakura can be a pig when she eats although she still retains that amazing figure).

When I went back and sorted out all my shit, lo and behold, I was back at my computer logging onto Facebook and checking my new notifications.

Getting notifications that aren't things like Farmville requests are like getting handwritten letters in the mail. It's exhilarating.

I saw that I had a few new notifications, most of them being _This person likes your status_. The last one, however, was the most important. It was Sakura, writing me a message on my wall. How sweet.

I clicked on the link and it sent me to my wall. I started reading, thinking it would be something like _Love you lots, Sasuke-kun!_

Instead, I was not expecting what was happening.

_Dear Sasuke-kun,_

_Last night was fantastic. It was terrific. I can't even describe to you how wonderful it was. I really love how you used your tongue to…_

I skipped down.

_And the way you fondle my breasts so that I do that little squealing thing…_

I scrolled down even more. Wow, she writes a lot.

_Especially how you go into me like you're desperate for pussy or something. Which is fantastic. I love rough guys._

I facepalmed. Holy _shit. _She posted this on my _wall. _For EVERYBODY to see. I tried to find a way to delete it, but apparently, only she could choose to delete or not.

I think she meant for it to be a private message, but apparently, she doesn't know the difference between an inbox message and a Wall post. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Pretty soon, the notifications kept coming and coming.

I checked them, a little frightened for my soul.

_Uzumaki Naruto likes this._

_Uchiha Itachi likes this._

_Nara Shikamaru likes this._

_No Name Sai likes this._

_Hatake Kakashi especially likes this._

And the worst?

_Uchiha Mikoto likes this._

The comments were even worse than the billion likes. And the fact that my _mom_ liked this is unbelievable.

"Good for you, teme! I knew you could do it!"

"Good job, brother. I now am sure of your sexuality."

"And I thought _you _were lazy. Ha!"

"Really? With ugly. Whatever. Congratulations."

"…Can you guys let me film it?"

"Oh, Sasuke-kun! I'm so glad you've grown to be a fine young man."

I think I'm about to be a _grown_ man crying in a few minutes.

.

.

.

"Sakura," I said, calling her. She didn't pick up until the fourth ring, and I was about to throw the phone across the room.

"Hey! What's up?"

"You posted that message on my _wall_. Everyone can see it."

"What's the difference between a wall post and a message? Aren't they the same?"

"They're entirely different!" I said, raising my voice. "One is only for me to see. The other is for everybody. And everybody is _mocking _us!"

There was silence on the phone. "So?"

"So…? What do you mean so?" I sighed. "Sakura, I am so embarrassed right now. You posted things that I did not want anybody to see. _Ever_. Could you just…" I sighed again. "Can you just take it down?"

"Sure thing, Sasuke-kun, if you want. Now, how do I do that?"

I groaned as I walked back over to my computer, telling her step by step on how to undo something.

.

.

.

Pretty soon, I got calls and messages from _everybody. _Most of them, especially, from Naruto.

"Dude! Congrats! Let's get some kegs and celebrate your loss of virginity!"

"I didn't lose my virginity, dobe," I muttered.

"Whatever. We need to celebrate anyway, on Sakura getting a Facebook account!"

"She's going to be deactivating it soon," I said angrily. "Obviously, she doesn't know how to use it. With great power comes great responsibility."

"You're such a Debbie Downer," Naruto said. I hung up and turned off my phone.

I kept checking my Facebook wall every so often to see if the message was permanently deleted. Thankfully, it was, which also got me a lot of notifications from people who wanted to see it or asked why it was removed. Especially my mom. Boy, she raised _hell _about it.

"What's there to be ashamed of? We're all sexual beings! In fact, I'm proud of you for pleasing this girl so well. I knew you would be a great boy, just like your father. Honestly, when we were younger…" she went on and on about describing how she met my dad, and some inappropriate intimate comments relating to the things Sakura and I had done the night before…

I checked another one of my notifications, seeing that Naruto had tagged me in a post.

Curious, I clicked on it.

Oh.

_Hell_.

No.

It was a screenshot of Sakura's conversation posted on his Facebook. There were already 79 likes and more counting with each refresh.

The caption was:

TEME GOT SOME BOOTY TONIGHT

What was even worse was that _Sakura _liked it, too.

Obviously, she couldn't handle this "great power" that she was granted by the Internet. I took my car keys from the apartment and stormed out the door. Someone needed to have a little conversation.

.

.

.

"I deleted it! Why are you getting all over my case about it?" she asked as I confronted her.

"Yeah, but Naruto took a picture of it. Pretty soon, it's going to be spread _all over the Internet_."

"So? There's nothing wrong with our lovemaking." She put her hands on my shoulders. "People have heard us during the night. People know we're having sex. So why is it such a problem now?"

I sighed. "Because these people _know _me. I know _them. _The next time I see them, all they're going to talk about is us. And even though I'm embarrassed…" I stroked her hair. "I'm afraid for _you_."

"Me?" she laughed. "Why me?"

"They're going to talk trash about you. Some people will say some nasty things. I don't want you to get hurt."

She took my hand away from her face. "Sasuke-kun," she said seriously. "I'm not a little girl anymore. I know people will say shit about me, and there's nothing I can do about it. And I appreciate you trying to protect me. But I can protect myself."

"But Sakura…"

"Sasuke-kun."

Her tone of voice told me that she was fine with it. And I thought, _Why am I making a big deal out of this? I want everyone to know that I have the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. So why am I ashamed of her telling everyone that she's happy with me?_

"I'm sorry for overreacting," I sighed. "It's just…I'm a very jealous person."

She hugged me. "Well, it's okay. I'm glad to know that you care about me."

"I do." I kissed the top of her head. "I care a lot about you."

"How much?" she asked innocently.

"A lot."

"How much is a lot?" She started to pout. I knew what this meant.

"I love you," I said. "That good enough?"

"Yes." She kissed me and struggled to undo the belt on my pants. I helped her with her fumbling fingers and she quickly pulled them down before pressing herself close to me. I could feel the heat emanating off her and immediately became turned on.

"Show me how much you _really _love me," she said sweetly. "Okay?"

How could I resist?

"Of course," I smirked, resting my hands on her hips. "But this time, I want this to be something private between us. Like a secret."

She nodded before taking my hand and leading me to her bed.

.

.

.

"So, honey, when am I going to meet this _fine, lovely_…" I heard snickering from the other end and sighed.

"Soon, mom," I said, exasperated. "And you don't have to do that kind of stuff anymore. I get it. We get it."

"Still. She's a _sweet, beautiful…_" I then heard shrills of laughter and hung up. Sakura pressed her chest against my back and looked over my shoulder at my cell phone.

"Mommy Uchiha?"

"Who else?" I sighed.

She kissed my neck. "It's okay. I think she seems like a great woman."

I rolled my eyes. "Until you meet her."

"I'm delighted." She took my hand and dragged us both off the bed. "Come on. I want to check how my Facebook's doing."

"Why the sudden eagerness?" I asked as I pulled on my pants.

"I fed my pigs in Farmville and I wanted to see if they got fat yet."

I shook my head. "If you send me any of those game requests, I'm going to deactivate your account."

"You don't know my password!" she said defensively.

"…sasusakulove," I responded flatly. "It's not that hard. All your passwords are the same. Which, of course, I'm flattered, but still."

"Hmph." She crossed her arms and logged out of my account so that she could log into hers. "Okay. Five new notifications. All of them…good. I like them. Most of them are just status likes and picture likes and stuff."

"Oh! My piggies grew! Look, Sasuke-kun!"

I looked at the computer animals and saw that, in fact, they did grow. Good for them.

"Don't overfeed them," I warned her. "Because then they won't be tasty bacon."

"How _dare _you say that to Tonton!" she said, gasping. "He will _never _be food!"

"…Tonton?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." I picked her up and sat in her seat, making her comfortable on my lap. My arms were around her waist as she kept exploring the deepest depths of what Facebook had to offer, liking some ridiculous pages like _Green nail polish! _and _My hair is NATURAL, jerk!_

Then, she decided to post a video on my webcam to upload to her Facebook.

"Hi, guys! It's Sakura. And Sasuke-kun in the background. Sasuke-kun, wave!"

I "hned."

"Yeah. So, anyway, we just want to tell you guys what's up. And that we have great sex that we aren't ashamed of."

"Sakura!"

"What? It's true!" she said. "So, uh, just to clear things up. Cool." She pressed the end button, and squeaked as I smirked. Obviously, she felt something poke her.

"Sasuke-kun! We _just _did it," she groaned. "My boobs are really sore."

"I can give a good breast massage," I said, turning her around so that she faced me. With my fingers creeping underneath her shirt, I unclasped her bra and took her breasts in my hands.

Pretty soon, we were half-naked on each other in a flimsy computer chair that sounded like it was ready to break at any time.

.

.

.

_Uzumaki Naruto likes this._

_Uchiha Itachi likes this._

_Nara Shikamaru likes this._

_No Name Sai likes this._

_Hatake Kakashi super duperly likes this._

_Uchiha Mikoto likes this._

"Huh." I wondered what all the notifications were about. Apparently, Sakura had tagged me in a video. Probably the one on my webcam.

"Hi, guys! It's Sakura."

I looked at the time limit. Funny. It was supposed to be only thirty seconds. Why was it about eight minutes?

I fast-forwarded the video to hear the familiar squeak of Sakura's voice, before she complained, "Again? My boobs are sore."

And then, holy shit, my words.

"I can give a good breast massage."

I paused the video and scrolled down to the comments.

_Uzumaki Naruto: YOU GO TEME_

_Uchiha Itachi: That's some nice ass right there._

_Nara Shikamaru: Didn't know you had that in you!_

_No Name Sai: Huh. So Ugly really does have breasts._

_Hatake Kakashi: This is gold. FAP TIME_

_Uchiha Mikoto: LOLOLOLOLOLOL BOOB MASSAGE WHUT_

"Sakura…" I growled, reaching for my phone. Someone deserved a spanking tonight.

If you know what I mean.

* * *

**omg sry guys thsi was super short and not thta great, it's hard to put stuff in the modern world especially if it's like weird sasuke and stuff so it's ahd to do facebook **

**lololol**

**PLEASE REVIEW I LOVE REVIEWS AND IM GETTING LESS AND LESS D=**

**also please send in prompts, i love them and i will use them if i can!**

**LOVE YOU ALL next chap will be up sooner and better promise!**


	57. Sign Here

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: ** .  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-seven. third person.  
******FML o57: **Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura went on another date with Sasuke. When she asked him if they could finally go steady, she pulled out a hand-written contract and asked him to sign it. FML.

* * *

**.o57.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**S**_i_g**n** _H_e**r**_e_

_._

Sakura looked in the mirror, fluffing up her hair and putting another dab of perfume on her wrists and behind her ears. She had to make sure everything was _perfect _for their date. The first couple times did not go out so well, ending in Sasuke's sleeve catching on fire and her tripping over a rock and landing face first in mud, but she vowed that this time, _today, _would have nothing go wrong.

Taking a look at herself and spinning around, she frowned. "Do I need more makeup?" she asked herself, looking to see if her eyeshadow was uneven or if her mascara was too clumpy. "My cheeks look dead!" she cried as she put on some more blush.

She looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost time to go. Snatching her purse on her dresser, she pocketed some lipstick and slung it over her shoulder, waiting eagerly for Sasuke to pick her up.

.

.

.

Sasuke didn't know why he had said yes to another one of Sakura's dates. He knew that she liked him a lot, that was for sure, but he just didn't understand why he would agree to another one, especially after the times before.

Sasuke could say that he liked Sakura. She was pretty, had a good personality, and was just a good girl in general. He knew that he wouldn't ever be able to find another woman like her. So maybe _that _was the reason he decided to accept her on another date.

Looking into his mirror, he straightened his tie and sighed. Sasuke was in a suit, all formal and whatnot, and even put on some cologne his brother got him for Christmas. His hair was combed back so that it wasn't spiked up, and Sasuke sighed, looking at himself.

"All this for a girl I don't know if I'm going to even go far with?" he muttered. Then, he took a look at his watch, straightened his tie again, and left.

He had to pick someone up.

.

.

.

Sakura didn't mind that it was cold out. Or wet. Or pouring rain.

Okay, she did a little bit. After spending three hours on her hair alone, all that work was now reduced to a sopping pile of pink mess on top of her scalp. She left the keys inside her house because her mom, who was out shopping for food, just told her, "I'll be inside when you're back, so just leave the keys, Sakura!"

She should have known better than to listen to her mother.

Plus, her dad was out on that business trip in China, making sure to get her a little souvenir stuffed panda on the way back, so he wouldn't be able to open the door for her, either.

Soon, she saw a black car pull up and her eyes widened gleefully. Walking down the stairs quickly, Sasuke opened the door in the pouring rain, his expression shocked and worried.

"How long did you wait out here? You idiot, you should have stayed inside!" he scolded as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her. She shivered in comfort as she smelled his scent on his clothes, spearmint and cologne enveloping her in a tight embrace.

"I'll get your seats wet," she said, not wanting to ruin them.

"It's fine," he said. "It's my brother's car, anyway." Okay, the last part was a lie, but he didn't mind her getting the seats wet. Naruto spilled ramen all over it, anyway, so he was used to it.

"Thanks," she said, stepping in. Sasuke dialed the knob on his car so that she felt warm heat surround her. She sighed in content.

"You idiot," he muttered. "Do you not have common sense?"

She was too happy in his jacket to care about his words. "Not today, I don't."

.

.

.

The restaurant he brought her to was beyond fancy. There were chandeliers, butler-like waiters, and even a harpist playing in the corner of the room.

"Valet?" a man asked as Sasuke handed him the money and his keys. The parker bowed and carefully entered the car, making sure to drive it with complete and utter care.

By now, Sakura had dried off, but she kept Sasuke's jacket around her, not wanting to lose his smell. The woman at the front led them to a table near the harpist, and Sasuke pulled out her seat for her.

"Thank you," she said, sitting daintily in her seat. Sasuke nodded in response before taking out his own seat and settling himself down. There was a candle in between them, and Sakura, making sure nothing bad would happen with fire, blew it out.

"Just in case," she said with a wink as Sasuke raised his eyebrows, not wanting to remember what happened last time.

Pretty soon, their waiter came—a handsome young man with his hair combed back and his smile bright and charming.

"Hello there," he said. "I'm Sai, your waiter this evening. Can I get you both something to drink? A fresh bottle of our finest sake, perhaps?"

"No thanks," Sasuke said. "Just water. I'm driving tonight."

"Aa, good choice, sir. What about you, ma'am?" he said to Sakura, although she saw that they were clearly about the same age.

"Water's fine, thanks."

"Very good." He handed them the menus and pointed out the specials for the night, recommending his own tastes. "We have the finest chefs in Konoha right here in our kitchen making meals for you. If you're ever unsatisfied with any of our dishes, we'll return it, free of charge."

Sakura nodded as Sasuke scanned the menu, many of the items expensive and suited for the very fancy tongue.

"I'll give you both some time," Sai said as he left to go get them their drinks.

"So," Sakura said, looking over the menu, not at him. "How was your day?"

"Fine," he mused, not looking at her either. "How about yourself?"

"Good. I was really excited for tonight," she said, unable to hold her smile from beneath the menu. "Thanks for bringing me here."

"Hn," he responded, blushing a little. Her words were so sincere that he couldn't help but feel a little unsure of himself.

"Not a guy for words. It's okay." She put down her menu. "I think I'll have their sushi platter. I hear it's _marvelous_."

Sasuke shrugged, also knowing what he wanted. The tomato dishes, where they served small portions of tomatoes from various parts of the world.

Of course.

"Now it's serious business," Sakura said, her face turning stern. She pulled a long, wrapped up piece of paper out of her handbag and unrolled it in front of him.

"What is—" he asked, his eyes scanning the paper.

**CONTRACT**

_By signing this, you, Uchiha Sasuke, born on the twenty-third of July, agree to become Haruno Sakura's boyfriend until she decides to break it off. Meaning never._

_X __

"Here's a pen," Sakura said, handing him the writing utensil. Sasuke was speechless.

"Here we are," Sai said, putting down the two waters for each of them. "Have you both decided what you're having tonight?" he said, clapping his hands together.

"You know what?" Sasuke asked, looking at Sai. "I think I _will _have some of that sake."

.

.

.

"So you're not signing it," Sakura said, confused. "Why not? Oh, I should have known. It's much too early for this. I should have done it at dessert. Silly me," she said, slapping her palm against her forehead. "Well, we'll wait until then."

"…What."

"You like tomatoes, huh?" Sakura asked, her elbows on the table, leaning forward in interest.

"I'm still confused," Sasuke admitted. "You act as if everything's normal."

"Well, it _is_."

"You asked me to sign a contract giving myself up to you."

Sakura sighed. "You make me sound like the devil trying to take your soul."

"Aren't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She twisted her mouth. "Not really."

Sasuke reached for the shot glass Sai had given to him and downed the sake in one gulp. Sakura looked impressed.

"Two can play at that game," she said, reaching for another cup and pouring one, downing the drink.

Sasuke looked straight into Sakura's eyes and noticed how dead-set she was on the contract and on winning.

"Game on," he said, clinking his glass with hers before he began to pour again.

.

.

.

They were so drunk that by the time their food came, neither of them wanted to eat it.

"Hey, hey, Sasuke-kun," Sakura drawled. "Your jacket, it smells…" she struggled to find the word in her drunken state. "Like jacket."

"Sakura," he slurred. "That's the nicest thing _anybody's _ever said to me."

By now, many people were staring at the drunken couple behaving inappropriately in the restaurant. Sai made sure to check on them a couple of times in order to try and take the sake bottle away from them, and the harpist even stopped playing to see what was going on.

They both started to laugh loudly, their shrieks echoing throughout the room. The contract fell out of Sakura's handbag, along with her pen, and Sasuke bent over to pick that up.

"I-I'll get it," he stammered, picking it up before looking at the blurred words in front of him and the pointy writing stick in his hand. "Better put this to good use." He wrote his signature on the line messily and handed it back to Sakura.

"Great, great," she hiccupped, pocketing the contract. "Cool. You're my bitch now."

"Yeah," he repeated. "Your bitch."

"No, you're _my _bitch. I'm not a bitch."

"I didn't say—"

"BITCH!" Sakura shouted out. "BITCH, BITCH, BITCH!"

Sasuke jumped onto the table. "BITCH!"

Sakura joined in.

"BITCHES!"

By now, everyone was looking at the two dancing wildly on the table, clinging to each other as if they would fall off, which they most likely would.

"Excuse me," Sai said, tugging on Sasuke's pants. "But I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."

"It's 'kay," Sasuke said, stuffing bills into his shirt. "I'm a stripper."

"Me too, me too!" Sakura shouted in her drunken state, grinding on Sasuke. "Bitch strip!"

"Bitch strip!"

They were escorted out laughing wildly by two security guards.

.

.

.

By the time they stumbled to his car in the valet, Sasuke pushed Sakura down onto the backseat and kissed her madly, pinning her down.

"Mm," she moaned, feeling her nipples perk up against her dress. "Yes…"

Sasuke's lips moved to her neck as his hands gripped her wrists. She wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned as he sucked the soft, warm part of her skin near her shoulder.

Then, she put her hands in his hair and pulled them hard, making him groan in passion. She put her hands on his cheeks and stared into his drunken eyes, wiping a stray lock of hair away from him.

"I want you," she whispered hoarsely.

"I want you too," he responded, leaning in to kiss her as his lips moved down even farther away from her.

.

**the next day**

.

Sakura groaned, her head hurting from the massive hangover she had last night.

"What happened?" she said, looking around. She was still in her dress, although it was partially ripped off and dirty, and her back hurt from hanging around in a cramped place.

"Where am I?"

Then she saw Sasuke sleeping under her soundly, his arms around her waist tightly, holding her like a teddy bear.

"AHHH!" she shouted.

"HOLY SHIT," Sasuke shouted, awaking abruptly and rolling over, bringing Sakura down with him. "What the fuck?!"

"What do you mean _what the fuck_? What happened last night?"

He looked at his own soiled clothes and then at hers and saw that his zipper was half-undone, along with Sakura's bra strap clearly visible through her half off dress strap.

"Don't tell me…" he began.

"I don't…" She saw Sasuke's eyes trail to her neck and saw a bright purple hickey form.

"Oh no," she said.

"Shit."

.

.

.

"Yes, mom. Sorry about that. Okay. I'll be back soon. Love you too. Bye." Sakura hung up her phone and sighed, still in her unclean clothes. Sasuke gripped the steering wheel hard, not even putting the keys into the ignition.

"So what about last night?" he asked. "What do we do?"

"I don't know," Sakura said. "I mean, how far did we—"

"Stop," he said. "I don't want to listen to it."

"I don't either," she said. "But we _have _to talk about it! We can't just let this be as it is! I mean, what if we…you know. And I turn out to be, uh, yeah."

Sasuke knew exactly what she was talking about. But he didn't want to hear it. He just wanted to forget the whole thing, even though he couldn't forget Sakura.

Maybe he didn't _want _to forget Sakura.

The memories replayed back in his mind and he groaned in embarrassment, knocking his head against the wheel and hearing it honk loudly.

_"BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!"_

_"I'm a stripper!"_

And he also vaguely remembered grinding. Actually, more than vaguely.

"You remember too?" she sighed.

"Hn."

"Well," she said. "I don't know if we did…uh, do it. And I'm not sure how to test it. Truthfully, I am, er, was a virgin, so I'm not, uh, bleeding right now…" she blushed heavily, not wanting to have this conversation. "Although I've read that some girls don't bleed, I'm just not sure how to check."

"Can't I take you to a doctor or something?" he asked, exasperated, too young to be a father.

"I don't know."

"Sakura," he said. He took her hand in his and looked her in the eye. "Even if the worst comes to worst, I will help you go through this whether you decide to have it or not." He looked down at her stomach. "But we can only hope."

"Yeah."

Her stomach, as if on cue, growled.

"Well, I don't think we can go back in there," he said. "Let's stop by at the place over there. They have good coffee."

"Okay," she said. "Wait—even in this getup?"

"YOLO," he muttered, turning the keys into the ignition and starting the car.

.

.

.

Sakura reached in her handbag to pay for her morning tea when the contract fell out.

"What's this?" she asked, looking it over. Her eyes scanned the paper as Sasuke, too, went to read it.

"What the—" he began, looking at his messy, almost illegible signature on the bottom line. "I signed this?"

"So that means…"

"Shit."

.

.

.

"Something very wrong obviously happened last night, aside from…well, you know," Sakura said as they talked over their coffee and tea in the café.

"Hn."

"It involved you signing this contract, which I know you wouldn't have done on your own free will."

"Yes."

"I'm not going to destroy this," she said. "I want it. But let's just say none of this will take place until we find out about, uh…well, my time is coming in a couple days, so if anything goes wrong, I can let you know. So until then."

"Alright," Sasuke said. "Let's do it."

.

**seven days later**

.

Sasuke paced back and forth in his room like he did every day, waiting in a nervous eagerness for the call that would either settle everything or not. He felt like a man who had just gotten a woman pregnant, which he sort of was, but he cared for Sakura.

Over the week, he had a lot to think about. He understood why he kept going on dates with her and why, even after every date something went wrong, he wanted another one. And another one. And maybe one more.

His phone rang, and he ran over to pick it up.

"Hello?" he said, almost breathlessly.

"Good news!" he heard. "I'm not pregnant!"

Sasuke felt relieved, the weight in his body lifted. "Thank God."

"I know! And plus, the doctor said my hymen isn't broken, so we haven't…" she trailed off. "This is uncomfortable."

"Sakura," he said. "Meet me at the front of your house. And bring an umbrella."

.

.

.

She waited patiently for him, her hair a mess and her face looking like hell. Sasuke got out of his car and led her to shotgun.

"Where are we going?" she asked, fastening her seatbelt.

"Nowhere special," he said. "Just somewhere."

Sakura fingered the edge of her handbag and stared straight out the window, not bothering to look at Sasuke, who was concentrated on driving on the road safely.

.

.

.

"Here again?" Sai asked, a little scared on what would happen. "Look, guys, it's my fault that I gave you both so much alcohol—I thought you'd be able to hold it better. But I got into a _lot _of trouble with my boss and the restaurant, so I can't have you two…"

"Table for two?" another waiter asked, leading them. They were both wearing incredibly casual attire, but the waiter didn't seem to care. "Follow me, please."

They sat down, taking the menus and putting them aside, knowing what they wanted already. Both of them ordered water as Sakura looked down at her lap and Sasuke fiddled with the lit candle.

"Even though we had all that drama and such," Sakura began. "I still had a great night with you."

Sasuke paused. "I liked it, too."

"I'd want to have another time like that."

"…Me too," he said softly. He put his hand over hers. "With that situation or not, I like spending time with you."

"Even without the mad dancing and booze and drunken kisses?" she half-joked.

"Yes."

"Here are your waters—can I interest you in some of our finest sake?"

"No thanks," they said in unison, placing their orders. The menus were taken out and Sakura sipped her water. She zipped her handbag and pulled out the contract.

"I don't think I'll need this," she said, ripping it up and watching it burn in the flames into ash. "Besides, you don't mind, do you?"

"No," he said. "Even without a contract, I wouldn't mind being with you."

"Cool." She leaned in, puckering her lips.

"Uh, Sakura?"

"Hm?" she opened her eyes, pouting.

"Your hair's on fire."

She pulled away shrieking wildly as Sasuke tried to calm her down, splashing water all over her pink locks.

"Our dates never seem to go well," he said, giving her his shirt, leaving him half-naked in the restaurant. "But it's alright." He put an arm around her waist. "We make it work."

* * *

**wow lol**

**OMG thank you guys SO MUCH For the reviews for the last chapter. you have NO IDEA how happy i was. i was actually CRYING LOL. you guys are awesome. you rock. you're the best.**

**i hope i can live up to your gusy' standards and always make you happy. thanks again for reading, please review more!**

**also i just reread scar tissue and im like, "dude wtf was i smoking sasuke is so ooc now"**

**but you guys**

**omg**

**i love you all**


	58. Dear Stranger

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: ** .  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-eight. sakura's pov.  
******FML o58: **Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was so desperate for a guy to notice me romantically that I looked up "prison pen pals." I'm really considering the idea of writing a letter. FML.

* * *

**.o58.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**D**_e_a**r **_S_t**r**_a_n**g**_e_r**.**_._.

_._

"Face it, Hinata, I'm _ugly_," I groaned as I buried my face into my hands, sighing. "No guy wants to date me. Whenever I go out with you, the only time they pull me apart is to ask, 'Hey, is your friend single?' Not once have they wanted to ask about _me_!"

Hinata sat down on the bed next to me. "Sakura-chan, you're beautiful." She tucked a stray lock of my pink hair from my face and behind my ear, putting her hands on my shoulders. "They just don't know it yet."

"Is that Hinata-speak for I'm ugly?"

Hinata frowned, but she didn't seem like she was insincere. "Sakura blossoms always bloom late. But when they finally _do _bloom, they are the most beautiful thing in the world. Everyone stops to look at them. Everyone loves them."

I tried to smile. "Thanks, Hinata." I leaned over to give her a hug, only to open my eyes suddenly at the feel her _huge chest _pressing against mine, making me feel self-conscious again.

"Sakura-chan?" Hinata asked as I pulled away, groaning again.

"When can I bloom like you, Hinata? When?" I said, burying my face into my pillow, letting out an unfeminine yell.

.

.

.

"I'm in jail for something I didn't commit, Naruto," Sasuke growled from behind the window of the call box. Naruto, his best friend, was trying to keep his laughs out as he talked through the telephone, the only way of communicating between the two.

"You look funny in an orange jumpsuit."

"You wear one, too!"

"Yeah, but it matches me."

Sasuke growled, threatening to hang up the phone. "I didn't _ask _for visitors."

"Yeah, but you _love _me. You want me here. You can't _bear _to live without me."

Sasuke tauntingly put the phone back on the hook when Naruto frowned. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

"For the phone?"

"Well, that. And also for getting you in here," Naruto said, giggling. "It's not my fault you were stupid enough to stay behind while the cops got you!"

Sasuke snarled. "It should be _you _in here for two weeks, not me. After all, it was your idea."

"Yeah. But I was smart enough to bail when the time came."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke said, "I'm still wondering why I didn't tell them that it was your fault."

"Cuz I'm your best friend. And besides, I've done enough community service already. Maybe you just wanted to save me from having to work my pretty little body out any more than I should have."

Sasuke hung up, giving Naruto the finger.

.

.

.

"What is this, Hinata?" I asked as Hinata did my makeup and dressed me up in my best clothes.

"We're going speed-dating, Sakura-chan. You, not me. I'm not ready for a boyfriend yet," she blushed.

I sighed. "Hinata, _every guy _wants you, and you reject them all. I want every guy and they reject _me_."

"Sakura, don't think like that! We're going to have a swell time tonight, alright? Come on!" she grabbed my hand and led me out of her house as we walked towards our destination in our high heels.

"…swell?"

"I heard it on a TV show," she said, embarrassed. "Now, these are just speed-dates. Someone told me that you only spend five minutes with a bunch of different people, and if you like them, you give them your contact information so that they can set up another date with you. If not, it's okay. You go to the next person and see if you click with anyone."

"I'm not sure…" I admitted. "I mean, this seems kind of weird. I want to get to _know _my dates."

"You can! You just have to be quick about it!" Hinata said. "Don't look at me like that. I just want the best for you," she said.

I sighed, and she kissed my cheek. "Come on. They're going to _love _you in that dress."

.

.

.

I should have known better. The _second _we got in the room, all eyes turned to Hinata, who was nervously trying to detach herself from the attention. She didn't love it, as most girls would, but she tried to her best to be the humble girl without insulting me or anyone else. She's a great friend. But also too pretty to be my friend. GRRR.

One cute guy came up to me and smiled, shaking my hand. "I'm Kiba."

"Sakura," I said, his hand. He had a firm grip.

"And this is…" his eyes trailed up and down Hinata's body, and I knew what was going on. I'd have to play wingman for this stranger.

"No one," she said. "I'm, uh, just leaving." Hinata pulled me to the corner of the room and said, "This is _your _night. Not mine. I'm doing this for you. You're doing this for you. Now get out there and meet some handsome guys, okay? If you need anything or if you don't feel safe, call me and I'll pick you up as fast as possible."

"Hinata, I'm not so sure about this…can we just go?"

"No! You need this. Sakura…" she put her hand on my shoulder. "I hate seeing you so upset all the time. So do this…for me?"

I looked around at the room, watching all eyes devouring Hinata. "Okay."

"Thanks." She hugged me, and I heard bunches of guys cheer and take out their camera phones.

"Nothing to look at!" I shouted as she took my hand in hers before leaving me alone in this pack of wild wolves.

This was going to be a long night.

Thankfully, they had a mini-bar at the end of the room.

.

.

.

"So," one of the guys said as he didn't know what to say, looking down at his shoes as I held my martini in one hand. "Uh…do you like to watch porn?"

I raised an eyebrow. "_Excuse me?_" I asked, not sure if I heard right.

"Tentacle porn?"

"Yeah. No. NEXT," I shouted as this guy muttered a _bitch _under his breath. A new guy came up next to me and shook my hand, introducing himself as Sai.

"So what do you like to do?" I asked, trying to break the ice.

"I'm an artist."

"Oh!" This one seemed interesting. "What do you like to draw?"

"Everything. I find beauty in even the smallest details." He took a lock of my hair and pressed it to his lips. I should have been weirded out, but damn, this guy was cute.

And I felt myself melting.

"I also have a big penis."

I froze. "What?"

"Doesn't that work with all the girls? When I tell them, they swoon."

"…I don't understand."

"Would you like to meet him?"

That was it. I pulled out my phone and called Hinata. Less than two minutes later, she swooped in like Superman and pulled me out of the horrid place called speed-dating.

.

.

.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you," she said as she drove back. I stared out the window, speechless.

"Guys don't know the real you, Sakura. They see only the outside and make a first impressing, but if they know the inner you…they'd fall head over heels for you."

"Please don't sugarcoat it, Hinata. I appreciate everything, but still."

"Okay. I'm sorry." She drove in silence before she said, "Did you at least get a contact?"

"I mean…I was sort of drunk and grinded with this one girl. I don't think she's going to call back anytime soon, though."

"That's a step up from your comfort zone, though, Sakura-chan!"

I scoffed. "Yeah. If I want to give up guys and just go lesbo, I'll make sure to find her again."

Hinata didn't say anything. She pulled up to my house and before I could undo my seatbelt, she leaned over and gave me a hug.

"You're my best friend, Sakura. I just hate seeing you like this, though. So please, cheer up. Alright?" She smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay. Bye, Hinata."

"Bye."

.

.

.

Even though I had already had a lot to drink at the speed-dating place, I was curled up in my jammies on the sofa and had a glass of red wine while I wrapped a blanket over myself. I turned on the TV to watch some weird soap opera that only Japan has to offer and didn't know whether I should have found it romantic or if I wanted to flip the channel.

I sighed, deciding to take the remote and flip the channel right before I saw the on screen couple kiss each other passionately, holding each other in their arms as their mouths starting biting the other's.

And for some sick, _sick _reason, the part between my legs started to get really hot, like I was turned on. I didn't know why. It was only a kiss. I've been kissed before, and some of them were not so great, but the others made me feel hot and warm and…_alive_.

Gulping, I took my hand and went under the blanket, thumbing the strings on my pajama bottom. Then, my fingers went past the elastic and through my panties, and I—

The character on screen moaned, and I immediately took out my hand and cursed at myself for feeling so horny just by looking at one simple affection. I was tired of being single, and I told myself that things needed to change.

Taking the blanket off me, I went to my laptop and unfroze the screen with my mouse, typing into Google for what I was searching for.

Honestly, I should have probably just looked up Internet porn, but I had something else on my mind which did not allow me to finish what I had started. Anyway.

"Prison pen pals," I muttered to myself as I typed it in into the search box. Google knew my location and signed me up with the nearest prison and I scanned through the website. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, since I have now seen things I probably do not want to see ever again), they had mug shots of the people who were in prison, and when they'd been in there.

Looking through the list, I was glad that most of them were men, although there were a few women I'd probably be interested in writing to. I scrolled down, all of the guys butch and tattooed and possibly high during some of their pictures until I stopped at one.

_Uchiha Sasuke  
8.20.2012_

I looked at the date on the computer and saw that he'd been in jail for only a week so far. Plus, he was really gorgeous. The kind of rugged, bad boy look that made your parents not want you to see him again.

He was in.

I took down his name and his jail number and wrote it down furiously, drafting a letter on my computer that I would later transfer to handwriting.

It didn't occur to me how desperate I was. But yes, I was desperate.

So incredibly desperate.

.

.

.

"You've got something in the mail, Uchiha," the warden said as he tossed Sasuke a letter addressed to him in feminine handwriting. As if the pink pen didn't give it away.

Sasuke scoffed, about to throw it in the trash before he realized that someone _actually took the time to write to him_. And he also wondered when he became a softie.

Sitting down at his bed, he tore the letter and crumped the envelope. His eyes scanned the paper.

_Uh, hi_, it began. _I know we don't know each other very well. Or at all. But I'd like to get to know you. I'm Sakura. Haruno Sakura. I'm twenty-two, single, and fairly pretty._

_Wait, please don't throw this away yet! I know you're rolling your eyes and you're probably thinking, "Oh, ha, this girl wants to just get some. She probably gave my jailmate the same letter." Well, I didn't. _

Sasuke was impressed. She could read him so easily.

_So I'm just hoping that maybe you'll write back. And that maybe we can…talk. _

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_—Sakura_

She didn't sign it with x's and o's, although he imagined she probably would considering the glitter from the pink pen. Just as he was about to close the letter, he saw something fall from the back. Picking it up, he saw that it was a picture. Of her, he assumed.

"Haruno Sakura," he mused, staring at the smiling face in front of him. He fingered the picture gently. "Wow," he said. "She's more than fairly pretty. She's _beautiful_."

Sasuke made sure no one was watching before he hurriedly tucked the photo back in and in the only safe place in the room: his pillow.

"Warden," he called out.

The warden looked at him, spitting some chewing tobacco on the ground. "Yeah, Uchiha?"

"Could you get me some paper and a pen? One that works, preferably."

The warden scoffed and closed the door, leaving Sasuke wondering what he was going to write _if _the warden came back.

.

.

.

Everyday I would check my mailbox and everyday nothing would come from Sasuke. I decided to give up on boys forever and would probably curl up in my room and just wrap myself in a blanket and pretend to be a slug…

Flipping through the letters, I saw one addressed to me in rugged handwriting. The address read the nearby prison where I had wrote to. Quickly, I tore it open with my teeth, leaving the litter on the ground.

_Wow, _it said. _You seem awfully excited to talk to an inmate. Just for the record, it's not _entirely _my fault that I'm in here. Long story. Maybe we could talk about it someday if you're not afraid of me yet._

_I'm Sasuke. But you probably already knew that, considering you looked me up. I'm just wondering why you would decide to contact a jailbird of all people. Probably not the first place I would look if I wanted to search for a potential partner._

_…But you're not looking at me as a romance, so I guess that's fine. Whatever._

I was tempted to stop reading, having been friend-zoned by someone who I've never even met.

_Anyway, visiting hours are from nine to six. Maybe I can see you. Just for a moment. Unless I've scared you off right now. _

_So. I'd like to hear from you soon. But please, no pink pen. It hurts my eyes._

I smiled a huge grin and jumped up into the air as my neighbors looked to see what was wrong with me. Before I could say anything, I ran in and began to draft another letter, cancelling all my plans from nine am to six pm.

.

.

.

"She _wrote _to you? And you invited her to _visit _you? Are you high or something?" Naruto shouted through the phone. Sasuke gave him a stern look.

"Idiot, this is prison. Now they're probably going to be searching my cell. Thankfully, the letter's in my pocket."

"Why does she mean so much to you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Probably because she doesn't know who I am."

"But what if she found out who you were?"

Sasuke growled. "We're not talking about that night."

"Relax, man. It's only two more weeks," Naruto said. "I'd bring you a slushee or something, but I can't give anything to you through the jail. Warden's keeping an eye on me. Now, I've gotta go! I'm going to eat some ramen at Ichiraku's. Too bad you can't come. Love ya, bye!" Naruto blew an air kiss to Sasuke, who gave him the finger, and left.

Soon, right after he was about to leave, a glimpse of pink caught his eye.

Then green.

.

.

.

"So you're Sasuke," I said through the telephone, feeling a little awkward. "I would shake your hand, but…"

"Yeah, I understand. So, uh, how are you?"

"Could be better. Today's a lousy day. Raining and whatnot."

"Hn."

"You don't talk much, do you?" I asked, smirking.

"What makes you think that?"

"You just seem abrupt. I don't know. Sort of…closed in."

Sasuke smirked back at me. "You seem to know a lot about me even though we've never talked formally."

"Maybe."

"So, let me ask you this. Why did you decide to look me up?"

"The truth?" I asked, afraid he would disappear after I told him.

"And nothing but it, so help you God."

I sighed, waiting for him to leave right after the words left my mouth. "I was lonely. I wanted some male companion. And I just thought…maybe, writing to an inmate, who's probably _just _as lonely as I am…it might be something special, you know?"

I saw Sasuke's eyes widen slightly and almost went to throw down the phone.

"No, wait," he said. "I'm glad you told me. Thanks."

"You don't have a girlfriend or wife, do you?" I asked, thinking I maybe trudged into the wrong territory.

"No."

"Oh."

I felt slightly relieved, but I wouldn't tell him that.

"Now, can I ask _you _a question?"

"Shoot."

"Why are you in here? What did you do?" I asked. "And if you're uncomfortable, then by all means—"

"I set something on fire," he said quickly, without hesitation. "My friends and I…it was late, we were drunk, and my friend. He loves to play with fire."

"Your friend as in a person or your friend as in…uh, your other self?"

"Friend. As in, his name is Naruto."

"Fishball?"

"At least it's not cherry blossom." He gave me a smirk to show that he was just teasing. "Anyway. He lit something on fire. It was bigger than we thought it would be. The cops came, and he and the other guys bailed, but for some reason I just stayed there. I took the blame for his mistake. And now I'm in here for another two weeks."

"That's awful!" I said, almost a little too loud. "How could he do that to you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "We're still friends. In fact, he came in to visit right before you did. He teases me about it. But I swear, when we get out I will punch him so hard he won't be able to feel feelings anymore."

"Why didn't you tell anyone that it was his fault?"

"You think they'd believe me? A drunk guy with a lit match in his hand who was the only one on the scene. I couldn't just say, 'Oh, it was my friend. He's probably half a mile away right now.'"

"I'm sorry," I said, showing my sympathy. "I really am."

I saw a small smile. "Thanks."

"It's nice talking to you," he said. "I'd like to talk to you some more, if you're not completely frightened of me yet."

"Who said I was frightened?" I laughed.

He gave me another smirk. "It's probably hard for you to keep coming here. Do you want to keep writing?"

"I'll split it evenly," I said. Looking at my watch, I told him, "I need to go home right now. But I'll talk to you soon." I pretended to shake his hand through the glass, and he chuckled. "Bye."

"See you."

We both hung up our phones and I walked away, not knowing that his eyes were on my back the whole time.

And even lower.

.

**one week later**

.

"You're out today? I thought you had another week left on you!" I said as he stood in front of me, looking down with that mischievous smirk of his.

"Good behavior. Plus, the jury saw that I wasn't guilty, so…"

I looked at him and slapped his forearm playfully. "I was going to give you this letter."

"Oh."

"But I guess you're here now, so—"

"Can I have it?" he asked. "I mean, can I still read it?"

"Uh, sure," I said. "I don't know why you'd want to, but…"

He took the letter out of my hands and curled his lips again. "Thanks."

"TEME!" a voice called from close by.

"Who's that?" I asked, looking around. A boy in blonde hair that was slightly familiar jumped onto Sasuke's back.

The boy was met with a punch to his jaw.

"Ow! What was that for, dickhead?"

"For two weeks scrubbing the jail toilets. Do you know how many times I had to stop myself from bending down, Naruto?" he growled as he took Naruto by the collar.

"Hey, whoa, man. Not in front of the pretty lady."

"You think I'm pretty?" I asked, surprised. Sasuke put Naruto down. The blonde said, "Of course you are. Teme showed me your picture. And," he leaned over to whisper something in my ear. "He's been talking about you _nonstop_. I'm starting to think he might have a little crush on you."

My eyes widened, and I saw Sasuke turn his head away, his cheeks slightly pink.

"Oh, and," Naruto began. "Your friend, Hinata, right? We met a couple days ago and hit it off. She's gorgeous. Like you," he said quickly, trying not to offend me. I rolled my eyes, letting him know I was used to it. "And we were wondering if maybe you and Sasuke would like to join us for a movie tonight. The four of us. Maybe we could celebrate teme from jail break."

"Sounds good. What do you think, Sasuke?"

"Hn." He nodded his head as Naruto grinned and ran down the street, leaving us two alone in front of the prison.

.

.

.

Hinata snuggled up next to Naruto, who had his arm around her. I looked at Sasuke, who was watching the pre-credits of the movie.

"Hey," I whispered. "You're not mad at Naruto?"

"Of course I'm mad," he muttered back. "But let bygones be bygones."

I reached over and took some of his popcorn, crunching it loudly.

"Hey!" he said. "I bought that!"

"I don't see your name on it," I teased. I saw him scoff, looking at me like I was crazy.

But I thought I saw him look over at Hinata and I sighed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You'd rather be in Naruto's place, wouldn't you? With Hinata. She's beautiful. She's smart. She's kind."

"I'm not looking at her like that."

"Oh, really? Why not? She's every guy's wet dream."

"Maybe to other guys. But I've already got a wet dream. She's right here." He took my hand in his own and I didn't know whether to be weirded out or flattered. I chose flattered.

"Ever since you sent me that picture I could not stop thinking about you. I thought you were beautiful. You _are _beautiful. And your personality is so much better than any girl I've met. Perhaps better than even Naruto's date."

"You mean that?"

He smirked. "I don't lie."

Just as the movie was about to begin, Hinata leaned over Naruto's lap and whispered something to me.

"Sakura-chan," she said, trying not to lose her footing. "You've bloomed."

* * *

**this was a longgggggggg chapter hahaha**

**i felt disappointed with the last one so i wanted to try and make this better**

**dude omg**

**i abuse italics and ellipses (...) so much, especially in this chap**

**why**

**REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE YOU**

**and i just got addicted to pretty little liars. ezria. omg. pls. yes.**


	59. Hey, Batter Batter!

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: ** .  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble fifty-nine. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o59: **Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying, "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I sneaked over to my girlfriend's house after sending her a text on wanting to be her "playmate" for the night. It was sent to her mom by accident, and her dad whammed me in the face with a baseball bat. Now I need stitches. FML.

* * *

**.o59.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**H**_e_y**, **_B_a**t**_t_e**r** _B_a**t**_t_e**r**_!_

_._

_for fyeahsasusaku on tumblr!_

.

_I don't know how to describe what it's like being in love. When I was little, all I cared about was trying to be better than Itachi and playing with Mr. Dino and trying to beat the living hell out of Naruto. I didn't have time for the girls that always surrounded me and cheered me on, trying to give me candy in their sticky palms or little rings made out of dandelions._

_I thought that girls had cooties and I didn't want to be anywhere near girls. They were disgusting, vile, annoying creatures. _

_When I went into my teen years, I still didn't talk to girls much, even though they flocked to me like I was a piece of bread and they were all hungry seagulls. There were rumors that I was gay, which weren't true. I didn't like girls at the time, but I knew for certain I didn't find men sexually attractive, either. Maybe the hormones didn't kick in yet._

_And then Sakura came._

_When I first saw her—this sounds cheesy, but just hang with me for a second—I felt something go off in my body. My normally clicking biological clock started to speed up, and I didn't know why. She gave me this small smile and for some reason, I felt like I was floating. I wasn't in love yet, at the time, but she made me feel different._

_Obviously, I was intrigued by her._

_The sad thing was that we never talked for another five years, until we were twenty two._

_._

_._

_._

_It's a great thing, being in love, even though it has its ups and downs. I hate seeing her cry when we argue about something trivial, or seeing her get angry at me for something I didn't know that I did (girl troubles, probably). But holding her in my arms after we've made love and stroking her hair…it's the best feeling in the world. And I'd take all the bad side effects just to have her with me at my side._

_Being in love makes you feel safe and warm and secure, knowing that your significant other, the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with happily, is next to you. It's wonderful._

_I didn't know who I was until I found Sakura._

_And I'm glad I did._

.

.

.

"You coming tomorrow?" Sakura said as I helped her hook her bra, fumbling with the clasps. I finally got it to hook, and she turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me softly.

"Of course," I said, breaking apart for a second. "I can't wait."

She smiled, cupping my face in her hands as she snuggled her nose into mine. I put my hands on her hips, feeling the bone underneath her skin, and traced over it. She shuddered, her face turning red and hot from my fingers.

Smirking, I traveled down to her panties, where she held my wrist and brought it to her lips. "Not now," she said. "I'm already worn out."

I looked back at the blankets on my bed mussed from our sex, and then back at her. Her breasts and lips were slightly swollen and I kissed her fingers.

"Fine. Tomorrow, then," I murmured, helping her put on her shirt so that she wouldn't get cold. "You better not go back on your promise," I warned.

"I won't," she said. "I promise."

She bent over to pick up her skirt, and I saw her bottom right in front of me, barely covered by her thin panties. I immediately felt hard again even after coming several times during our fornication, but seeing her like that in front of me made me want to go and take her from behind.

"Sasuke-kun," she moaned, feeling my hands on her hips and my erection at her behind. "I have to go _home_," she whined.

"Can't you stay a little longer?" I asked.

"No," she said, putting on her skirt. "Tomorrow."

"Fine. Tomorrow." I frowned, and she, seeing my upset expression, kissed my cheek.

"You'll last, baby. After all, you _do _have two hands. One for the computer mouse and the other…anyway. Au revoir!"

With that, she left my apartment, leaving me half-naked to think about what she was talking about, and then realizing that it might not have been a bad idea. At all.

.

.

.

I made a mental note to buy more lotion and tissues at the supermarket as I shut my laptop screen down and went to go find ice for my aching hand, cursing.

I hated being alone. I really wanted Sakura by my side, even if we were just watching some dumbass chick-flick movie where she ended up crying and blowing snot all over the popcorn and I had to hold her and sigh while patting her shoulder while she yelled out at the "hot" guy on the screen.

It was five pm at the moment. Four when she left. There were still at least another sixteen hours before we would be together again, and my body and soul _ached _for her. This is ridiculous, but I never really knew how alone I could be until the person who made me realize I wasn't alone left me, even for a while.

Holy shit, I sound desperate. And I know for sure that I _am not desperate_.

I'm desperate enough to whack off to boobies on Google Chrome Incognito, but past that…nope.

I pulled out my iPhone, slid to unlock, and typed in a message with my non-aching hand.

_I'm gonna be your playmate for the night. Wink._

Send.

Pocketing the phone, I went to the kitchen to pull out some ice from the ice box.

.

.

.

Sakura ached in her deepest part even as she got home and took a hot shower. She had to hold herself back from succumbing to her desires and refused to soap near her femininities.

"His touch," she murmured to herself, washing her hair, trying to avoid looking down at her body. "It's like fire."

Thinking about him made her nipples ache, and she eventually looked down and saw that her usually soft pink buds were hard and rough. She graced her finger over it and moaned, covering her mouth so that her voice wouldn't echo throughout the room.

Then, she turned off the water quickly and toweled herself dry, making sure to turn away from the mirror so that she wouldn't see how awfully needy she was to his touches.

.

.

.

I literally had to tape my hands together in order to prevent myself from violently masturbating again. Which, by the way, backfired, considering I had to call Naruto (of all people!) to cut the duct tape off. Of course, being Naruto, he took multiple pictures first before _ripping _the tape off, giving me a free wax on my already hairless hands.

"Teme, you idiot!" he laughed. "Why the hell did you tape your hands together?"

I looked at Naruto, snarling, and he paused. "Oh, so it's _that _kind of problem! It's alright, buddy," Naruto whispered, patting me on the shoulder. "Your secret's safe with me."

I took his phone and deleted the video. "Now I know it's safe." Handing it back, I pushed him to my door, my hands still aching. "Out."

"But teme, I thought we were going to have some broman—"

"_Out."_

I heard Naruto still screaming as I went to my couch, sitting down. There was no more ice left, having used it all, and so I sat on my hands to numb the pain. I obviously don't have many options with me.

.

**eleven o'clock**

.

Pocketing my key in my coat, I left my house and went over to Sakura's. Hopefully, she got my text and was ready to let me in to her room tonight so that we could have some more fun.

The lights were off, and I was a little curious. I figured Sakura would at least give me _some _clue or something to let me know that I could come in. Well, I was coming in anyway.

I carefully made my way over her rose bushes, making sure not to prick myself in the thigh. Looking into the dark window, I gave a small tap once, then twice, before it opened suddenly. I leaned in to kiss her, only to be greeted with something wooden and hard. I felt my mouth spit blood and was knocked down onto the dirt.

"You _bastard_," a male voice said. The shadow loomed over me menacingly, and I saw that he was holding a baseball bat, slightly red.

_Holy shit, _I thought. _He's going to kill me_.

Struggling to run away, I clawed onto dirt only to have him lift me up by my leg. When I went to say something, the bat came down again, and I was knocked out cold.

.

.

.

_What is love?_

_Baby don't hurt me,_

_Don't hurt me,_

_No more!_

I struggled to open my eyes, adjusting to the light. I saw that Sakura was standing over me, holding my hand. Her face went from worry to happiness to anger.

"Sakura?" I said, my voice weak.

She took my hand, thought about something, and then slapped me with my own limb.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You worried me!" she said, almost crying. I rolled my eyes.

"Sakura, it's just a concussion. I'm fine."

"But—but Sasuke-kun, you could have been killed! My dad is a very passionate man."

I chuckled. "I figured. Anyway, did you get my text?"

"What text?" she said, loosening her grip on my palm.

"I sent you a text earlier today. I wanted to _play _with you tonight."

Sakura took her phone out of her pocket and checked through her messages. "Nope, none. Oh wait, did you mean this one: _I'd like to use your tits as pillows?_

"Not that one."

"What about: _I wanna lick you up like a lollipop?"_

I felt my cheeks turn red. "Sakura…"

"Oh wait! This one was sent at two p.m. today. _I'd like to square root you tonight_."

"…No. Listen, Sakura," I reached out to take her phone. "Who exactly…got the message? And how did your dad know that I was coming?"

"UCHIHA!"

The voice made the whole hospital room seem to shake. Nurses stopped what they were doing to see where the sound was coming from.

Barging into the door was Kizashi Uchiha, angry as his wife tried to hold him back.

"How _dare _you infiltrate the sanctity of my wife and my marriage!"

"I don't understand," I said. "How did I _infiltrate _your marriage?"

"You told her you wanted to be her _playmate_ for tonight! Don't think I don't know what you two are up to. You're cheating on my little girl with my wife!"

"I'm not doing anything like that!" I said, now embarrassed. "I didn't even _know _I sent that to your wife."

Sakura turned to me, confused. "How do you even have my mom's number?"

I looked at her, then at Mebuki, then at Kizashi, and back at Sakura.

"Long story."

.

.

.

"Well, Uchiha-san, you're going to be just fine. Just a couple stitches and you'll be all right."

"Thanks, doctor," I said. Sakura nodded, smiling, continuing to hold my hand.

"Now rest up. It's going to be a hard week."

"Yes, doctor."

"Good boy." He ruffled my hair (something I _hate _people doing to me, even Sakura) and left. She kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand.

"Sasuke-kun, promise me that you'll call next time, okay?" she said, pouting.

"After this…then yeah. I'll probably never text again now. I feel like your dad's going to hang up the bat with my blood for people to see. '_And this is the blood of the guy who tried to violate my wife…_'"

She laughed. "Oh, you." Then, she stopped. "Are you really such a horny bastard?"

"I guess I am," I smirked. "And once I get out of here…" I leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Get ready."

She blushed heavily, turning away from me. "Sasuke-kun! Not in here!"

Taking her wrist, I brought her down on top of me. She squeaked as she felt something hard poking her stomach.

"How about now?"

"But you're—"

"Fine. I can still do things. Like _pretty girls named Sakura_." I reached for the buttons on her shirt when she pushed herself off.

"No. You're high on morphine and you can't think straight." She took her bag off the waiting chair and said, "I gotta go clean your blood off. But I'll be back to visit tomorrow, okay?" She kissed my forehead. "I love you."

"Hn."

.

.

.

_Damn, that morphine is strong stuff. I've been having vivid dreams of what it's like to love Sakura. Some of them are ridiculous past memories. Others are just like, thoughts that I would think if I died tomorrow._

_She's beautiful. I don't know how else I can say it. But she's just stunning. I hadn't noticed it before, but now that I've been with her, she's the only thing that catches my eye. I don't want anything else. I never wanted anything else._

I woke up to hear someone calling my name. Sakura was still next to me, holding her hand. She had this goofy grin on her face, like she had just heard a secret or something.

"What're you laughing about?" I asked, my voice groggy. I couldn't think straight.

"You said that I was beautiful." Her grin got even wider. "And that I was the only thing you wanted."

I sat straight up, trying to make my mind clear up. "What do you mean?" Holy crap…

"You said you _loved _me!" She squealed, kissing my fingers.

"What else…what else did you hear?" I asked, immediately turning red.

"Well, there was that time before. Something about Mr. Dino and not being sexually attracted to men and when you sang the words to 'What is Love?'"

Growling, I pushed her away and put the covers over my head.

"Hey," she said, prying my hands away. "I'm happy. It just shows me that you love me too. I thought I was the only one who really cared about you in this relationship, but…" she pressed her lips to my forehead. "I'm just happy."

I felt my face soften. "I'm happy, too."

There was a knock at the door, and Sakura let go of my hand to call the person in.

"You can come in!" she called out in her bright, sing-song voice.

The doctor entered, clipboard and stethoscope and all. He smiled at Sakura before turning to me.

"Well, Uchiha-san, you seem alright now. Here's a prescription for medication you can pick up at the drugstore. Now, be sure to get lots of rest and no strenuous activities, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Oh, and," he leaned closer to me. "Watch out for your honey's dad. He's…he's frightening."

"I know."

"Ah, right. Anyway," he patted me on the head again. "Get well soon."

"Thank you, doctor."

I looked at Sakura, who looked at me. She kissed me softly and, without warning, I yanked her down on top of me and kissed her back. Hard.

.

.

.

"We're home!" she said, her arm linked with mine as I struggled to pull out my key.

"Yeah," I said. "We are."

The rooms smelled the same as they had before I left to get hit in the head with a baseball bat. Sakura took my hand and pushed me onto the sofa, making me stay there. I watched her _prance _to the kitchen and make a cup of hot tea, until I got up and wrapped my arms around her.

"Sasuke-kun," she squeaked. "What are you doing?" she asked. "You've gotta sit down!"

"I've been in that bed for too long without you," I murmured. "I want to be in _my _bed _with _you."

I felt Sakura turn around in my arms so that she was facing me. She put her hand on my cheek and I put my hands on her thighs, lifting her up to the countertop. We began to kiss, her fingers tangling my hair while I stroked her soft skin.

"What are you—oh!" she said as I made sure her legs were wrapped securely around my waist as I unplugged the steaming kettle, holding her and trying to maneuver my way into our bedroom.

"Sakura," I said, whispering her name hoarsely. "I want you."

I threw her—not so gracefully—down onto the bed and climbed over her. I undid my shirt with one hand while pinning her wrists over her head with my other.

"Sasuke-kun, the doctor said: No strenuous activity!"

"Sex helps fevers," I mumbled, throwing my shirt to the floor.

"But you don't have a fever!"

"Hn." I smirked, releasing her wrists so that she could touch me. Soon, her shirt was bunched up under her neck and one cup of her bra was folded over her mound since my hand was underneath it.

"Sasuke-kun," she whined as I took my two fingers and enclosed her bud between them. "You're not supposed to be having sex right now! You should be resting!"

"I am resting." I snuggled into her breasts and licked them slowly with my tongue. She cried out, arching her back and giving me more freedom to do what I wanted.

"I mean, rest in bed—you—ahh!"

"I _am _resting in bed. With you." I put my lips over her other breast and she cried out, pulling on my hair as her legs wrapped around me tighter. "Sasuke-kun!"

"Let's get these off," I muttered, fumbling with her shorts. "What a nuisance."

My fingers finally knew what they were doing, and I tossed her clothes casually towards my shirt.

"You're so beautiful."

Knowing she was already defeated, she reached out to unbuckle my pants and tug them off. I was already hard for her, and she took pleasure knowing that she made me feel that way.

"You're wet," I said, watching the blush creep over her face. "That's okay. I like it."

"Sasuke," she said, now reaching for the elastic on what was left on me. "I want to be your playmate tonight."

"Every night," I said. "I'll gladly play with you every night."

The clothes came off.

.

.

.

_"Why did that little rebel have your phone number, Mebuki?" Kizashi growled as he searched through her cell, hoping to find more "dirty texts."_

_She sighed, crossing her arms and legs. "We were planning a surprise party for Sakura. Obviously, if you knew, you probably would have told her about it, which is why we didn't include you in it."_

_"You're saying you trusted her _boyfriend _more than you trust _me_?" he said, incredulous._

_Mebuki smirked. "I don't think he's going to be her boyfriend much longer."_

_"Oh, good," Kizashi sighed with relief. "You know, she needs to find a better man. A man like _me_."_

_"Oedipal Complex much? But no. I see the look in that boy's eyes. He's in love with her. And you and I both know that she returns his feelings just as much."_

_Kizashi eyed the baseball bat next to him until he saw his wife's stern glare._

_"I'm not giving him the blessing," he mumbled._

_"You don't have to," she said, still smirking. "I will."_

_"…shit."_

* * *

**__omg guys i know this is no excuse to not update for a month and im super sorry but school has been awful i'm serious**

**like**

**sports practice every day and then coming home at like 7 pm and then homework and piano and omg it's too much**

**writing is awesome and i love you guys and i love sasusaku and i love everything but srsly**

**please dont be mad ilu**

**this is for FYEAHSASUSAKU on tumblr! I LOVE YOU BBY**


	60. Let's Make Up

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **boss/worker fics, and Impassioned Drawing by Mizutani Kyoko + family guy consuela LOL  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty. third person.  
******FML o60: **Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura decided to not wear makeup to work. She was told several times that she looked sick. FML.

* * *

**.o60.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

__**L**_e_t**'**_s _M**a**_k_e **U**_p_

_._

"Late again, Haruno," Sasuke said as he swiveled around in his chair, his legs crossed. He stared teasingly at his Rolex. "This is the fourth time the past two weeks."

Sakura panted. "I know. I'm sorry, Uchiha-sama. It won't happen again."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's what you said the last time you were late."

"Yes, but this time's for real—"

"Sakura." He used her formal name, getting up from his chair and walking towards her. His tall height made her scared. Even in heels, she was still only up to his shoulders. "I'm tired of this shit. Either you get your act together, or you _leave_."

She gulped. "Yes, sir."

Walking out briskly, he called out, "If you walked that fast to work and stopped wearing as much makeup, maybe you could come on time!"

Sakura pretended not to hear what he said, though she was obviously hurt. She covered her mouth, hoping to stifle the sobs that were ready to come out. A tear dripped down her cheek, and she wiped it away with a neatly manicured nail. White powder was on her finger, and she rubbed it together, cursing.

.

.

.

Sasuke leaned back in his seat, groaning. "Maybe I was too hard on her," he said. "But I can't have her ruining the image of my company by being late. What kind of example would it set for the other employees here? They'd think she'd have an unfair advantage. They probably think she's sleeping with me for the job or something."

He groaned again, feeling his manhood poke against his pants. "I wish she were. She's so beautiful and amazing and…" He cursed, pounding his fist against his desk. A cup of pens jumped up from the force. "I want her."

Staring at his blank computer screen, he couldn't concentrate on any of the work he was supposed to do. He cursed again, before closing all the windows on the monitor and pulling up secret files from the work database that only he and a limited number of people had access to.

"Haruno Sakura…" he typed in quickly, waiting for the result to pop up. Almost instantly, he got a match. Pulling up her file, he read it again for the hundredth time, knowing it by heart.

"Born March 28th, 1988…twenty-four years old. Lives at Konoha Apartments on the east side of town. No siblings. Parents live somewhere else, which makes her someone who lives alone. _Single_, as far as I can tell." He closed the file, leaning back in his chair. "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura…you're driving me _insane_."

.

.

.

"Piece of shit boss…who does he think he is, telling me what I can and can't do? Do I really look bad with all this makeup?" she looked through her portable mirror, trying not to tear up. "Come on, Sakura, this isn't waterproof mascara. Don't cry. Don't cry over that worthless, son of a bitch asshole. It'll ruin your makeup."

Closing the mirror, she bit her lip and forced herself to breathe heavily. "Calm down, Sakura. You can kill him later, when you're rich and he's poor and he's nothing and you're _everything_."

She sat down in front of her computer, opening up her inbox. Floods of emails came pouring at her every second.

She sighed.

.

.

.

"Yo, teme!" Naruto said, wheeling a cart full of antiseptics and cleaning materials to Sasuke's office.

Sasuke sighed. "Tell me again why I hired you?"

"Uh, 'cause we're _best buds_! Of course, you could have made me VP, but _no_. I'm cleaning the toilets at the work office. Do you know how disgusting that is? I have to deal with shit: _literal _shit, every day. And the women's bathrooms are even worse. Like, they do this weird hover thing where they don't want to touch the seat in fear that they're going to get pee on their asses, but _hovering is the reason why they get pee anyway. _I just don't understand." Naruto shook his head. "Why don't we make women urinals?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, letting Naruto think that out for himself.

"Oh, right. No penises. Well. You still could have at least _promoted _me or something. Hell, even Shikamaru got promoted, and he doesn't do jack squat!"

"Yeah, but at least he doesn't put cherry bombs in the fucking toilet."

Naruto's face fell. "Oh, you found out about that. That's probably why you took away part of my pay. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that _you _need to tell me what's going on between your thing and _Sakura's thing_."

Sasuke growled. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Come _on_," Naruto begged, touching Sasuke with his dirty hands. Sasuke swiped them off angrily. "You know you wanna tell me!"

"I have nothing to tell you."

"We all know that you want to get in her pants. Basically every guy who works here does. Hell, even I—" He saw Sasuke's stern face and gulped. "Don't want to. But every other guy does."

"Which guys?" Sasuke snarled.

"Every. Guy. And that's basically 95 percent of your company. They probably prey on every female here anyway. Hell, they're feasting on that one fat chick, Akane, and she looks like she crawled out of a dumpster. But those guys. They've sure got their sights set on Sakura."

Sasuke grabbed his telephone and began to dial numbers quickly before Naruto stopped him. "Hey, whoa. Don't get so defensive. So it's some eye candy. If you fire them, you won't have a company anymore." Naruto's voice got quiet. "You won't have _me_."

Sasuke smirked. "Good." He continued to dial the numbers before Naruto wrenched it out of his hands and threw it out the window. Glass shattered everywhere.

"What the hell, Naruto? Do you know how much trouble we could get in?"

Naruto stared at his best friend, who was shocked with anger. "This is coming out of my paycheck, isn't it?"

.

**the next day**

.

"So here's the plan. If we raise our products for this semester, we can increase our income by seven percent." Sasuke used his laser beam to point at the Powerpoint projected up onto the wall. "Alright?"

Everyone nodded their heads, taking notes. Sakura sat near the end of the round table, scoffing, doodling pictures of what she wanted to do to Sasuke's face. She added a mustache for a nice detail.

"Got it?"

Everyone nodded again. Sasuke turned off his laser beam. "You're all dismissed."

Sakura sighed in relief and began to pack up her small, portable briefcase.

"Haruno-san, wait."

Sakura felt her heart sink. She knew that she was probably going to fire her then, even though she had been on time today. She only wore a little bit of makeup and felt incredibly insecure.

Sasuke waited until everyone had left before he sighed. "I just want to apologize."

She felt her heart stop for a second. "For what?"

"I…" he looked uncomfortable. Sitting on the edge of the table, he looked directly into her eyes. "I was too harsh yesterday. The things I said. And I'm asking you to forgive me."

Obviously surprised, she stumbled to find the words. "I forgive you. Thank you," she said quickly. "For telling me this."

Sakura turned to leave, before Sasuke caught her quickly by the wrist.

"Wait, Sakura."

Still uncomfortable with him using her name, he said, "I think you look good today. And I always think, every day that you come in, 'Why does she need to wear makeup? Isn't she beautiful enough without?'"

"…Oh."

Sasuke's face remained stoic. "Anyway. It's nice to see a change."

"Thank you, Uchiha-sama." She turned to leave again, keeping her wrists in front of her.

"Please," he said. She turned her head around. He looked at her again.

"Call me Sasuke."

.

.

.

Sakura stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She never thought she was particularly beautiful, but makeup certainly helped with it a lot. She leaned closer to see all the details that the makeup was covering, and she quickly took a paper towel and wet it, wiping it all away roughly. Residue was left on the towel and she looked at her plain face, taking a deep breath, walking out of the bathroom with an au natural look.

Her boss had just told her that she was _beautiful_. This, nonetheless, coming from the man who threatened to fire her and then apologized for it the day after. Plus, he was good looking too, and she was pretty damn sure that _he _didn't wear makeup. Or did he? Maybe some moisturizer?

Anyway.

Sakura spotted one of her other female coworkers, Akane, and waved. "Hey there, Aka! What's up?"

The plump woman stopped to look at Sakura, freezing in her tracks. Sakura wondered what was wrong.

"Are you—Sakura-chan, are you ill?" she asked, walking closer to Sakura to observe her face. Sakura felt her lips curl into a frown.

"No…why?"

"Oh. You just seem…I don't know, less _vibrant_. Less _alive_. The color seems to have left your face." She put a hand on Sakura's forehead. "Are you _sure _you're alright?"

"Amazing," Sakura said, a little angry. "Thanks, Akane." Walking past the fat chick, Sakura made her way back towards her cubicle, ignoring the whispers and following eyes as her makeup-less face went back into the small ten by ten office.

"She looks so sick!" Sakura heard someone say.

"Is Sakura alright? Maybe we should call an ambulance…"

"She looks like she was vomited out of Satan's mouth and then regurgitated back through his anus."

Ignoring the comments, Sakura turned off her brain and closed her work browser, deciding to play a nice, _friendly _game of Kitty Cannon.

.

.

.

"Dude, have you heard what people are saying about Sakura?" Naruto asked, pushing the janitor cart into Sasuke's office. "It's pretty snarky."

Sasuke tapped his fingers against his desk, his class ring brushing against the side of the wood. "You threw my phone out the window. Piss off."

"But don't you wanna hear what they're saying about Sakura?"

"What who's saying about Sakura?" Sasuke asked, his interested piqued.

"They say that she looks really sick. Almost deathly sick. Like, she's about ready to curl over and die at any minute. I haven't seen her yet, but basically this is a big enough deal that nearly _all _the guys are talking about it. Well, of course, except for you. Since you didn't know about it."

Sasuke leapt to his feet. "Is she alright?"

"Not sure. You might have to go and check yourself."

Before Naruto could say anything else, Sasuke pushed him out of the way and began sprinting towards the cubicle he knew so well and spent so much time at during late hours.

Naruto shook his head and sighed. "Some people." He looked at the broken window, shattered but covered messily with duct tape. Deciding to do his best friend a favor in hopes to get on his good side again, he took a bottle of Lemon Pledge and wiped the window, putting slight pressure on it.

It shattered.

"Fuck."

.

.

.

He was panting by the time he got to Sakura's office. She was playing some sort of sick, disturbing, twisted game involving flying a cat out of a cannon.

"Oh! Uchiha-sama. Uh, this isn't…" she began, attempting to close the browser.

He got a quick look at her face and stopped in his tracks. He felt his breath stop for a second.

"What? Okay, look, I'm sorry I was playing games. I was just angry today and needed to let off stress, and—"

"No, that's not it, Sakura." He stepped closer to her, lowering his voice. "You look different."

"Oh my goodness." She covered her face with her hands and turned away from him. "I knew I shouldn't have taken off my makeup. I look like a mess, don't I? I was feeling brave enough to go naked today and I ended up just embarrassing myself, and I—"

He heard her beginning to cry. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he turned her around and pried her hands off from her.

"No, that's not it. You look stunning." Tipping her chin up so that he could look down into her watery eyes, he gave her a comforting smile. "So much more beautiful than when you _do _have makeup on. Not that you're not beautiful with it. It's simply that makeup messes with natural perfection."

Sakura wiped her tears away. "When did you become so nice all of a sudden?"

His smile faded. He became serious. "When I want to let someone know my feelings."

"And…what are your feelings?" she asked. He brought her down to the floor so that no peeping neighbors could see them.

"You should know, _Sakura_," he said, stressing her name out instead of using the formal office names. Sasuke leaned in towards her ear and whispered quietly, only letting her know his secret: "Meet me after work in my office at five. Just come in. Don't knock. I want to talk to you later."

Sakura felt her heart beat rapidly as he rose from the ground, straightening himself up and then leaving. She looked into her makeup mirror at her natural face and wondered if he really meant the things that he said or if he was just trying to be a little nicer to her.

Anyway, she was terrified for what would happen later.

.

**five o'clock**

.

Sakura felt her heart beat rapidly against her chest as she made her way to her boss's office. She stopped at the door, raised her hand to knock her knuckles against the polished wood, but then lowered her hand. _Don't knock_, he said. _Just come in_.

Slowly, she put her hand on the doorknob, opening it cautiously. She saw Sasuke, sitting in his chair, looking at the door with such a calm patience that she assumed he had been waiting there for a long time, even earlier than five.

"Hi," she said breathlessly. She looked at the window behind him. "What happened—"

"It doesn't matter." He got up from his seat and asked her to take her seat while he closed the door. Sakura felt nervous and scared. What would he do to her in this closed room? Alone? Just the two of them?

"Do you want anything to drink?" he said. "Coffee? Tea?"

"No, thank you," she said, smoothing her skirt. She looked down at her heels, afraid to meet his eyes.

"Sakura," he said, sitting across from her and moving as close to her as the table would allow the separation.

"Why are you calling me that?" she asked. "In the office, my name is Haruno-san."

"I'd like to think we're intimate. After all, we share many memories together. Some aren't so pleasant. Others, however, are very."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean very pleasant? We haven't done—" She began to blush as she stared into his lusty eyes. "Oh…"

"I am attracted to you," he said. "I have feelings for you. Strong feelings. Feelings that shouldn't be in the office, but are anyway." He put his hand over hers. "I'm your boss, that's what you think. But I'd like to be more. Sakura, I care for you in a way that's against my principles."

Sakura got up out of her seat so abruptly the chair fell backwards. "Uchiha-sama, I don't feel comfortable—"

"Call me Sasuke," he said, his eyes pleading with her not to leave. "I told you that before."

"I should go. I mean, I think—"

"Please," he begged. She heard the sad tone in his voice. "Please, don't go. Talk to me."

She found herself picking up the chair and sitting back down, keeping her hands and legs to herself, making sure she wouldn't be able to touch her with his hands or his mesmerizing glare.

"I understand that I have been…mean to you. But as your boss, I can't give you an unfair advantage over everyone else. I mean, what would they think if I gave you special privileges? They'd think the worst. I don't want them thinking that about you."

More silence.

"Sakura, I like you."

.

.

.

Sakura was taken aback by his words. How could he say something like that to her? She didn't want to deal with all the things she had going on, but this…_this _was just…awful!

"You're shocked," he said, almost smirking. "I can understand that. And perhaps you don't feel the same way for me. After all, I have bullied you." He lowered his voice. "And you were obviously hurt."

Sakura saw Sasuke move a piece of his hair out of his face. "Come here, please."

Without knowing what her body was doing, she got up slowly out of her chair and stood in front of him. He looked up at her and reached for her hand, placing it in his own. Giving it a small squeeze, he brought her knuckles to his lips and watched her look down at him curiously, wondering what was going to happen next.

Quickly, he yanked her down by the hand so that she fell on him. Helping her up, he made sure that she was on top of his lap, sitting so that her chest was at his eye level. However, that wasn't what he was looking at at the moment.

"So beautiful," he murmured, using the back of his hand to feel her cheek. "Especially without makeup."

"I can't—" she began, wiggling to try and break free. He didn't stop her, but she realized that maybe…it was more comfortable on his lap than on the ground.

Sighing, she gave up, pressing her cheek against his shoulder and breathing in his masculine scent while his hands slowly snaked around to her waist, thumbing her rib cage. She heard him breathe softly, his breath hot on her ear as his thumbs went up to the bottom curve of her breasts.

"No more until you're ready," he whispered, knowing that she was going to protest. "I just want to hold you."

They stayed like that for a while until he said, "You don't have to return my feelings. In fact, I don't expect you to. But Sakura," he said, silently begging. "Let me love you tonight."

Her eyes widened, thinking that he meant that he wanted to _make love to her_. And he understood that she thought he meant that, so he said, "I do want that. Very much. But I don't mean that. I just want to hold you like this. Just for a while longer. And then we will never talk about this again unless you want to."

She liked the feel of his arms around her. It made her feel warm. Secure. He was so unlike the mean man he was that one morning.

"Sasuke," she said. His ears perked up and he looked at her intently.

"Yes, Sakura?"

She buried her face in his chest, admiring the person that was holding her on his lap. "Hug me."

.

**a few weeks later**

.

"So, uh, you two haven't been able to be separated from each other for more than, like, ten minutes," Naruto noted as he came into his best friend's office once again, watching as he held Sakura on his lap, kissing her cheek periodically. "I mean, teme, you even arranged your _lunch _schedule to be the same as hers. Now _that's_ dedication," he said, directing the last part to Sakura, who was blushing.

"Get out, dobe," Sasuke murmured as his lips pressed against Sakura's neck. She giggled as he smirked, and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Ugh, guys. Seriously. _Get a room_." The two began to kiss passionately, Sasuke placing his hands under Sakura's shirt while she took his hair in her hands.

Naruto looked at his janitor cart and took a bottle of Windex, hoping to fling it into Sasuke's face. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke broke apart for air at that time and it went flying through the two of them, destroying the window that had already been broken several times before.

Sakura shrieked and lost her balance as Sasuke growled.

"Naruto…"

The color drained from Naruto's face as he said softly, "This is coming out of my paycheck again, isn't it?"

* * *

**fail attempt at humor at the end wtf  
**

**anyway i'm hoping on doing an M rated boss sec fic with sasusaku, so look for that soon when i get off my lazy arse hahaha**

**so yeah**

**PLEASE REVIEW GUYS I ONLY GOT LIKE 9 REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER LOL AND I WAS PRETTY DARN UPSET**

**but i love you and i know you wont fail me so srsly**

**it's not that hard**

**love you guys love you love you love you love sasusaku**


	61. Hide and Seek

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-one. sakura's pov.  
******FML o61: **Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching in the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML.

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was shopping with my mom at the mall. I was trying on some clothes when I heard that a child was missing. Employees are searching and my mom finds me, hugging me with tears in her eyes, saying, "I found you!" I'm nineteen. FML.

* * *

**.o61.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**H**_i_d**e **_a_n**d **_S_e**e**_k_

_._

"You've got your phone?" my mom asked as I sighed, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"Yes, mom."

"How about your wallet?"

I patted the purse at my hip. "Mmhm."

"What about your ID?"

"Of course. In the wallet."

"Good," she said before she gave me a big hug. "I just want to make sure you're safe."

"I know. Thanks, mom," I said, returning the hug half-heartedly with one arm. "Now, I'm dying to try on some new clothes. All the ones in my wardrobe are all from last season, and I can't go back to school looking like I shopped in the clearance section."

My mom pulled away and smiled. "Right. Yes. I understand."

"Thanks."

We exited our house as I saw my mom struggling to find her car keys in the black hole of a purse she had with her. Sighing, I went back in and got an apple, knowing that it would take at least another five minutes for her to retrieve her keys.

I had already finished the core by the time she finally got them.

.

.

.

"Keep your phone on at _all _times," my mom warned. "Now, I trust that you're able to go around by yourself without getting caught by a stranger. Alright? Now if something bad happens where you are in that situation, either yell really loud, 'FIRE!' or scream, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!""

"I got it, mom," I said, rolling my eyes. "Phone here. No worries."

"Alright. Now don't talk to strangers and make sure that you keep your belongings close to you. I'll be at the perfume shop trying on some new scents if you need me."

"Yes, mom."

"Good." She kissed my cheek. "Have fun, sweetie."

"You too."

I saw her leave and breathed a sigh of relief. Now I was finally free to do whatever I wanted. No more overly attached mother following me around and telling me what I can and can't do. She acts like I'm _five, _for fuck's sake. And honestly, although I love her, I'm so tired of this shit.

I looked down at my clothes and automatically became embarrassed. I hope I didn't see anyone else that I knew at the mall, because I knew that they'd surely laugh their heads off at my old clothes from last month's catalog.

Woe is me.

Quickly, I ran into the nearest prep store that me and a couple of the other girls go into. I was welcomed by an array of beautiful new items fresh from the manufacturers in God knows where. Quickly, I scanned the clothing, took them off their racks and folded them over my arm, and ran towards the fitting room where I could try them on and post selfies on Instagram.

.

.

.

No, no, no!

Half the clothes were too big for me and I couldn't find a smaller size. Obviously these clothes were made in America. Just kidding. It's an Asian joke.

Anyway, the clothes that _did _fit were out of my price range and would shrink if I washed them, making them like a XXXXXS. I wasn't going to spend money on that if I had some.

Sighing, I put the unwanted clothes back on their racks and left the store, quickly searching for other stores that I could feast my body on. Walking towards the directory, I scanned over the mall map and pointed my finger at a new store that was my next target. I sprinted towards there, the people around me becoming a blur as they wondered, "Who is this pink flash and what does she want with the city?"

.

.

.

Same routine. Scan for clothes, sling them over the arm, run towards the dressing room.

Look at myself in the mirror, hate myself for a little bit, check the price tag, and then cry and sob on the floor.

Obviously, this was not a good day for me. I took off all the clothes and put my regular ones back on. I was running out of stores and options and I still had a full wallet, which, by the way, _never _happened. I'd probably spend it all on a fruit smoothie or something.

I left the store, basically trudging my way out. I went back towards the directory to see if there were any more places I could go to before I gave up or my mom came out of the perfume store smelling like she just bathed in French odors.

"To hell with this," I muttered under my breath. A fruit smoothie sounded delicious.

.

.

.

"Low fat please. Oh, and could you add some extra strawberries? It's okay, I'll pay extra. And, oh, a little more ice. Yes. Thank you very much." I handed over a fistful of bills and in return got a smoothie fit to my taste. I was beginning to walk out of the food court and past the mall to see if there was anything else to catch my eye when I felt something hard knock me over, losing my footing.

"Hey!" I shouted, my smoothie falling onto the floor. It was all over my pretty shoes, which was a bitch to clean.

"Shit." He bent down to pick up my fallen cup. "I'm sorry."

"You should be. I spent a lot of—"

I paused. This guy whom I bumped into. This guy. He was—

_Beautiful._

"Nothing," I mumbled, unable to speak. He was so gorgeous and handsome and I wanted him badly.

"I'll get you a new one. My treat," he said.

"No, please, you don't have to," I said. How could I be angry at a person like this?"

"Please." He looked at me with these dark, smoldering eyes. "Let me."

_Well, if you insist, handsome, _I thought, a smile creeping up on my face. "Okay. Thank you."

I didn't tell him to ask the cashier to put extra strawberries and ice. I didn't care at that moment. I stared at his muscled back through his thin T-shirt and how strong his arms were and I felt myself become light-headed and dizzy. I used my hand to fan myself.

He turned around, a pink smoothie in his hands. "For you," he said, giving me a small smirk.

I almost died.

"I'm Sakura," I said, my voice weak. "What's your name?"

"…Sasuke."

"Well, howdy do, Sasuke?"

That's it. I was officially going crazy.

.

.

.

He led me to a seat in the food court and sat across from me, folding his hands as he watched me slurp the hell out of my strawberry smoothie. Mm, boy, I hope that he wishes _he _could be my smoothie straw right now with the ferocity I'm sucking it. Wink wink.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked, trying to make some small talk.

"Hanging with some of the guys. We got separated though, and decided to go our separate ways for now. We'll meet back up in a while. How about you?"

"Shopping with my mom," I sighed. "But she's in her own store right now. Don't know what she's doing."

He chuckled. "Yeah. My ex-girlfriend _hated _whenever her mom came with her to the mall. She just wanted to be alone."

"…Ex?" My curiosity got the best of me.

"Yeah. Didn't work out. She and I were totally different. Didn't know what I saw in her at all. Had the worst personality." He blushed. "Sorry, you didn't need to know that."

"It's fine."

"So where do you go to school?" he asked.

"Konoha U," I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin. "I'm on break." He raised an eyebrow.

"Already in university? Wow." He smirked. "I'm still in high school. A senior. I've always wanted to go to Konoha U, though. Family's been there for hundreds of years. Tough school." He looked straight at me and I wanted to melt. "You must be pretty smart."

"Define smart," I teased, enjoying the fact that I was older than him. "I'll tell you this. I'm not your average joe."

"I don't expect you to be. But pretty _and _smart. Wow. Tough to come by."

I smirked. "You think I'm pretty?"

"Only if you think I'm handsome."

He smirked back, and I started to laugh. "You're not so bad, Sasuke."

"Hn."

There was a loud announcement over the speakers, interrupting both our thoughts. "There is a child gone missing in the mall. Please, if anyone has any information, report the missing child to the information desk. Her mother is just worried sick."

"Wow," Sasuke said. "That's unfortunate."

"Yeah," I said. "Poor mother. She must be scared."

"I would be, too, if my child were lost. Hypothetically, I mean. If I had a child."

"Do you want kids?" I asked out of the blue, knowing that it wasn't in my place to ask questions like those, especially if I'd just met the guy.

"Yeah. I want a lot of kids." He stared up at the ceiling. "People don't peg me as a kid person, but I really, _really _love children. You know, past the crying and the nonstop shitting, they're great."

I wanted to "awwh" really loudly. But I tried to keep it in. "That's sweet," I said.

"Thanks."

Soon, I heard sobbing behind me, and a crowd of employees were standing about seven feet away from me, watching as my mother, her dirty blonde hair tousled, pulled me into her arms. Everyone in the food court was staring, including Sasuke.

"Sakura-chan, don't _ever _scare me like that again! I thought I lost you! Why didn't you pick up your phone?" she cried, her tears pouring down my own cheeks. "I found you!"

I was speechless, my face turning red as I stared into the employees' faces, watching their expressions turn into unbelief. Thankfully, I couldn't see what Sasuke was doing.

"I'm nineteen, mom," I said. "It's okay. Stop crying." I wrinkled my nose. "Ugh, you smell like cheap perfume."

The employees shook their heads and walked away. Soon, everyone went back to their own business and I tried to pry her off me.

"Okay, mom. Okay. Shh."

She pulled away and shook my shoulders hard. "Don't you _ever _scare me like that again! You hear me? I thought you were dead!"

"Okay. Yup."

"You're coming with me now. I'm not letting you out of my sight!"

"Wait—what?" I asked, being pried away against my will. "Wait, mom—"

I pried her off me. "Uh, mom." I motioned to Sasuke, sitting calmly at the table where we were just at. "This is Sasuke."

.

.

.

"Sasuke, huh?" My mom eyed him up and down, whispering in my ear, "He's a good-looking fellow. Where'd you meet him? At school?"

"Uh, no mom. Here. Right now. At the mall."

She gasped. "So _you're _the stranger who took my daughter from me!"

"…What?"

"Don't act silly with me, young man! You may be a handsome fellow, but you sure as ain't gonna catch my daughter, no sirree!"

"…What are you talking about?" he asked, obviously confused.

"Mom, stop," I said. "Sasuke's a nice guy. We had a little accident where we bumped into each other, and we've just been talking. Nothing bad happened."

"Look, if you don't feel comfortable, I can leave," Sasuke said, getting up from his seat.

"No, Sasuke, you don't have to—"

"It's fine," he said. "Sorry for bothering you, miss. Nice to meet you, Sakura." He nodded at me and then walked off.

I sighed. "Thanks, mom."

"Oh, you're welcome dear—"

"No, I meant that in a sarcastic way. He was a nice guy, alright? He had _nothing _to do with us, and yet you treated him like he was…I don't know, _trash _or something. He did nothing wrong. If you're so overprotective of me, maybe you should just keep me on house arrest or something!"

I let my anger consume my thoughts. My mom was obviously butthurt, but she tried not to show it.

"Sakura," she said, trying to calm me.

"If you're trying to apologize, don't. Find Sasuke and apologize to him." I walked away with my smoothie. "Oh, and if you're trying to find me, my phone's going to be off."

I know it was a little cold, but I was angry and I needed to let off some steam.

.

.

.

I went to some hippie store called "Hipsterz, Inc.: Shopping before it was cool" to look for clothes, because that's how angry I was. I ignored the greeter at the door who tried to offer me some marijuana or something, and went to go search for clothes.

And honestly?

They weren't too bad. I mean, I was expecting like, hemp skirts and shirts made out of rose petals soaked in the blood of unicorns, but it was actually pretty cool. And the store smelled like incense, too.

Then, I saw this _gorgeous _half-dress that I could totally wear with the black lace leggings they sold next to it. I picked it up and looked at the price. Very affordable.

I went into the dressing room and tried it on. It was forest green and matched my eyes, dare I say it.

I loved it.

So I exited out of the store with a bag carrying my old clothes as I wore the new ones out. I even said goodbye to the greeter and took some marijuana before throwing it in the trash, because remember, drugs are bad.

Oh, rebel Sakura. Next thing you know I'll be wearing black and performing some Satanic ritual in the middle of a pool.

I was walking down the mall, trying not to check my phone in fear of my mother trying to find me again, and lo and behold, guess who I saw?

"Hey, teme! Is this the girl you were talking about? The hot one with the pink hair?"

I looked up to see an obnoxiously loud blonde who was pointing at me, his hand on Sasuke's shoulder as he turned away from me, his face pink as my hair.

The blonde gasped. "It is, isn't it?!" He walked up towards me and shook my hand furiously. "Pleased to meet you! I'm Naruto. Now, just saying, if you're looking for a younger man, you're looking at the wrong place," he said, nodding his head towards Sasuke. "However, I'm right in front of you." He winked.

"Uh…"

Naruto turned around. "Oh, where are my manners? This is Sai. He's sort of quiet and a hipster. Look at those skinny jeans. You can tell."

Sai nodded to me and looked me up and down. "Do you shop at Hipsterz, Inc. too?"

"Just today," I said. "Trying out a different style."

"It looks good on you," Sasuke said quietly. "I mean, you looked nice in your other clothes, but this just suits you more."

"Awwh, teme's got a crush." Naruto's eyes turned into hearts as he folded his hands.

"Hn."

I blushed, too. "Well, hey. If you guys are interested in visiting Konoha U, maybe I could give you a tour sometime. You could call me and I could set it up." I took out some post-its and a pen and wrote down my number. Now, I know you shouldn't give strangers your numbers, but these were _hot _strangers.

I handed them all the papers and smiled. "Nice to meet you all. Hopefully we'll see each other again sometime soon."

I turned to walk away when I heard someone approaching me.

"Sakura—"

Turning around, I saw Sasuke, who held out his hand. "Nice to meet you," he said.

I took his hand and shook it. "You, too, Sasuke." He smiled at me and I smiled back before turning around, hearing the three whisper to themselves. Apparently, one of the phrases that I managed to hear was, "_Dat ass_."

How pleasant.

.

.

.

"Yes mom," I sighed. "I forgive you." I comforted my crying mother as she clung onto my new hippie outfit, apologizing profusely for her behavior today. "Okay. It's over with. Done. Just promise me you won't do it again?"

"I promise," she said, wiping her eyes. "Sakura, I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too," I said. "Now, let's just put this whole thing behind us."

"Okay," she said. "But I want to talk to you about something. That Sasuke boy. Do you like—"

"Mom, we've only met for _half an hour_."

"Yeah, but there's such a thing as love at first sight!"

Shaking my head, I said, "I guess he's cute."

"You guess?"

"Fine. Fine. He's really cute."

My mom smiled. "He seems like a nice guy. You know, when I'm not all up in his business."

I stared at my mother in disbelief. "Shit, please don't say that."

"What? All up in his business?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's better than swag, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Anything's better than swag."

"Gangnam style?"

"Stop." I sighed, looking at my calendar. "I'm going back to school in three days. So, what should we do until then?"

"Gangnam style?" my mom asked again.

I knew that I couldn't win. "Gangnam style."

.

**two weeks later**

.

I was talking to my friend on the phone while walking back from class to my dorm. "Yeah, Hinata. Ugh. He's so boring. I was going to shoot myself, practically. I'm about ready to drop the class. Right? Yeah. Unbelievable. I probably have a C average if I'm lucky. Anyway, I'll call you back. I have another phone call coming. 'Kay. Love you too. Bye."

I hung up with Hinata, looking at the caller ID. It was an unfamiliar number. "Hello?"

"Take two steps to your right."

"Who is this?" I asked, a little freaked out. I looked to my sides. There was nobody there.

"Just do it."

I did so.

"Walk forward until I tell you to stop."

"Listen, pal, I'm not playing games with you until you tell me who the hell—"

"Stop. Good. Now open the door."

I was standing in front of my dorm. Carefully, I turned the handle, scared of what would come inside. The caller hung up.

When I opened the door, I saw, sitting on my bed—

"Sasuke?!"

He smirked, pocketing his phone. "Hey."

"What are you—I don't—How you—?"

He pressed a finger to my lips. "Shh." Then, he took my hands in his own. "I was wondering if you could give me a tour like you promised?"

I shook my head, laughing. I was totally unprepared for this surprise. "Come here, you." Without hesitation, I took his face in my hands and gave him a big kiss as he put his hands on my waist and held me tight to him. After a while, we pulled away, and he pushed a stray lock of hair away from my face.

"But first, let me give you a tour of my room."

Wink, wink.

* * *

**finished suffering from hurricane sandy**

**it was hell but thankfully it wasn't AS BAD in my area**

**won't do a halloween fic this year alothough i did like every year hahahah. not in the mood. Dx**

**love ou guys PLEASE REVIEW**


	62. Invasion of Privacy

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-two. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o62: **Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I've had to avoid all places of my house since Sakura's trying to take a video of me naked. She says it's because she wants her old college friends to see how hot I am. I'm afraid to get intimate with her, change my clothes, or even bathe. FML.

* * *

**.o62.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**I**_n_v**a**_s_i**o**_n _o**f** _P_ri_v_a**c**_y_

_._

Sakura and I have only just moved in about two months ago. For the usual reason. The getting down on one knee (which is funny, because usually _she's _the one on her knees. Ahem), the opening of that fucking expensive ring which nearly cost me all my savings, and then the mumbling of, "Will you marry me, Sakura?"

Of course, seeing her happy expression paid off for everything. And the first night sex was _fantastic_. But here we are, living together officially in some apartment we rented about two miles away from our own houses. It doesn't make sense, but Sakura wanted to have a feeling of "independence," and I just didn't want to be "that guy who still lives with his parents in the basement."

I'm sitting on the sofa with Sakura next to me, her head on my shoulder. I lean over and brush the stray hairs from her forehead and kiss her softly.

Then, all of a sudden, she pulls me down so that she's under me, and starts undoing the buttons on my shirt.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I ask before she kisses me, her hands clenching my hair. I groan, turned on by her actions, and feel myself getting harder with every touch of hers.

My hands started going underneath her shirt, and I felt that she was wearing no bra, which immediately got me more stiff. I took each of her breasts in my hand and gave each a small squeeze, watching her moan softly as her nipples started to stiffen. Carefully, I brushed them with my thumbs, making sure to tease her as much as she had been teasing me. Let the tables turn.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun," she sighed, arching her back. I lifted up her shirt to above her breasts and bent my head down so that my bangs tickled her chest. Using my tongue, I slowly licked her cleavage, watching her squirm under the small couch under me, and she pressed her arms against her breasts to make them plumper.

"You're so beautiful," I murmured, taking one of her buds in my mouth and sucking on them softly. With one eye, I watched as she bit her lip, trying not to give into me, but I kept sucking harder and bit her nipple gently, grazing it against my teeth. She cried out and ripped off my shirt, her fingers sliding over my abs before cupping her hand over my crotch. Letting go of her nipple with a loud _pop!_, I sat up on my knees and saw her under me, with tousled bed hair and wet breasts. I felt my jeans becoming too tight for my own good, and Sakura propped herself up so that she could help me with my problem.

I was free, and she took me in her small, delicate hands, putting me in her mouth and sucking me with the exact same temptation that I sucked _her _with. Her fingernails scratched the sides of me softly and I tilted my head back, groaning. She knew all the ways to please me, and I felt myself ready to cum at any time.

"Take your skirt off," I ordered. She let go of me, unzipped her skirt, and tossed it onto the coffee table where the rest of our clothes were. Her pink panties were soaked to the core, and I pushed her legs apart, using my fingers to crawl up to her inner thigh and into the cotton fabric. Using one finger, I massaged the outside of her womanhood while using my other hand to cup her breast. Watching her beg for me to love her made me even hornier, but I made sure that she knew that she couldn't mess with me and win.

I put in two fingers and watched her become accustomed to my digits. Sakura rocked her hips according to my movement, and finally, I took my fingers out, knowing that she was about to cum.

She pouted, watching as I licked my fingers as if her juices were melted chocolate. Then, she took off every article of clothing I had on and pushed me so that she was on top of _me_.

"My turn," she breathed. She centered herself so that she was directly on top of me and slid herself down, bouncing while I helped her. I took her breasts in my hands and pinched her nipples.

Her breathing was fast and rugged, and I made sure to match every thrust with her moans. She was soaked around my cock, and she threw her head back, her hair flying in all different directions.

"Sasuke-kun," she moaned. "Ah, Sasuke—"

I groaned, knowing that I was going to cum at any time. "Fuck, Sakura…"

Suddenly, she started moving quicker and quicker, and my hands went down to her ass, clenching her tight to me. With a groan, I emptied myself in her as she sighed in relief, taking herself off me, having cum at the same time, too.

"I love you," I whispered, cupping her head close to me.

"I love me too!" she laughed. "No, but I wuv you too, Saucy-cakes."

"Don't call me that," I said.

She frowned. "But we need pet names for each other, since you know, we're gonna be married."

"Hn."

"Now smile!"

I saw her point a camera at me and my eyes widened. "Holy shit!" I muttered, finding clothes to cover myself. "What the fuck is that?!"

"A camera."

"I know _that_," I said, avoiding the camera while trying to cover myself as best as I could. "What are you trying to do with it?"

"Taping a video of you, nakey."

"_What_?!"

"I wanna show my old college friends how handsome you've gotten. Now, come on, Sasuke-kun! You can drop the clothes. I mean, we just had _sex_, so…hey, Sasuke? Sasuke-kun!"

I slammed the bathroom door shut, panting heavily. I'm actually _incredibly _self-conscious about my body, no matter how good-looking I or Sakura think I am. Plus, I don't want anyone _other _than my wife-to-be to look at my naked body, since, you know, I'm probably going to end up on some gay porn website.

.

.

.

Thankfully, I had a change of clothes in the bathroom. About ten minutes later, I walked out, making sure to scan the halls before I felt that I could safely leave.

"Sasuke-kun!"

I turned to see Sakura. She had her hands at her sides and there was no camera in sight. I let myself loosen up a little bit.

"Yes, Sakura?"

She looked at me with sweet eyes. "I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for trying to take a video of you naked. It was an invasion of your privacy and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable." She put her arms around my waist and pressed her head against my chest. "I love you, Sasuke-kun."

I hugged her back. "It's fine, Sakura. Just don't do it again, alright?"

"Okay." She pulled back quickly, and immediately I saw the mischievous look on her eyes.

"What are you—"

In a flash, she attacked me. I felt a cool breeze against my chest and around my ankles, and—I'm actually not sure how she did this, but she did—she nearly stripped me in a blink of an eye.

See, if I had known she could do this before, there would be a _lot _less fumbling of trying to take off our clothes and it would be like, _BAM BAM BAM!_

"Smile!"

I rushed back into the bathroom and locked the door, hearing her bang against it.

"Sasuke-kunnnn!" she whined.

I don't want to admit it, but I'm frightened.

I'm locked in a bathroom with my fiancée trying to take naked videos of me, and my pants are around my ankles.

I'm honestly scared shitless.

.

.

.

I knew it was safe to go out at eight o'clock, because Sakura always takes catnaps then, and she sleeps like a fucking rock. I could kick her in the stomach and she'd still be sleeping soundly.

Carefully, I opened the door, made sure the coast was clear, and went out into the kitchen to grab some food, since being locked in a bathroom for four hours was not the best thing to soothe a hungry tummy.

I opened the refrigerator, watching Sakura sleep on the sofa where we had just made love, which is half-sweet, half-disgusting, since, you know, we tend to get really messy. I took some tomatoes from the fridge and closed it, going back into our room where I actually _had _entertainment like books, games, and my laptop.

I locked the door, unaware that Sakura had peeked open her eye and was smirking at me.

.

**the next day**

.

I yawned and opened my eyes, rubbing them to make sure that I had nothing in them. Stretching out my limbs, I went and reached for clothes in the dresser Sakura and I shared. She was probably still out on the sofa, so I was going to go make her breakfast as a sort of "sorry for leaving on you freezing on the sofa, but fuck you, don't take videos of me being naked."

I began to take off my shirt and unbuckled my pants, still wondering why I slept in the clothes I was in the night before. I kicked them off, about to change my boxers, when Sakura jumped out of our closet with a coat hanger on her head and said, "Look at the camera, Sasuke-kun!"

"What the—?" I began, I picked up my shirt and wrapped it around myself. "How'd you even get in here? I locked the door—"

"I have my ways," she said. "Now drop it!"

"Sakura, what's the point of this?"

"Do I have to do it for you?" She reached over to touch me, but I jumped up on the bed and unlocked the door, closing it behind me.

This is my own home, and I'm supposed to feel safe in it. However, I've never felt more intruded on. It's like I'm in a host club or something.

"Sasuke-kun?" I hear Sakura shout through the door. "Sasuke-kun, come here! LET ME LOVE YOU!"

I didn't.

.

.

.

I made sure to stay away from Sakura with a radius of about ten feet. This is not going so well, this fiancé/fiancée thing. I mean, we're supposed to feel comfortable with each other in the same house, but I feel violated and it feels like I'm rooming with that weird guy I roomed with freshman year in college who would always draw Satanic pentagrams on the floor with silly string and light incense candles made of sausages and toothpicks while chanting in Swahili or something.

"Did you eat?" she asked.

"Hn."

"Come on, Sasuke-kun. We're friendly with each other. _More _than friendly. You don't have to say 'hn' to me."

"Leave me alone."

She moved towards me, but I held up my hand. "No. Stay where you are."

Sakura frowned, and then moved back from me. "Fine." She crossed her arms and sat in an armchair, crossing her legs. That was her sign of blocking off sex for a while. It didn't matter. I could jack off freely if I needed some relief, but she actually had to _try _if she wanted to…

You know what, we're not getting into that. I had already just crossed the line. _Way _too far.

Plus, I smell like shit, so I wanted to take a bath.

.

.

.

I already got my clothes and a spare, just to put in the bathroom so if I got locked in there again, I would have something to cover me. I was wondering how long Sakura would persist, and I hoped it wasn't long, but with her determination…anything was possible.

Now, people say that guys who take baths are pussies. Obviously, they don't want to admit the truth, because it feels fucking heavenly and warn and for virgins, it's the closest thing they can get to sex.

I stepped in the tub, groaning as the hot water relieved my tense muscles. I felt safe there in the tub, and debated on whether or not to masturbate.

But I decided, "Why the fuck not?"

I was never as good as Sakura on getting me off. But I pretended it was her hands that were touching me, and I immediately became hard and turned on. I imagined her mouth was on me, and her hands were rubbing me while I took her hair in my hands and pulled on it softly.

My thighs began to clench and I felt myself ready to cum. It was way too soon. I didn't know how to make myself last long, probably because I've been spoiled by Sakura, who teased me and teased me, making me wait for the best part.

I emptied myself in the tub, resting my head. I looked up at the vent above the tub and saw a bit of pink. And then a flash.

"What the—?" I began. Then, I realized what was happening. "Holy fucking..."

I quickly got out of the tub, watching as the vent was starting to creak, and Sakura soon came out falling out of it. She went into the jizz-soaked tub with a loud splash, and I quickly put on some clothes and left before she could manage to take a picture of my sculpted butt.

.

.

.

I am officially unsafe in my own house. It's like a game of capture the flag, except it's called "Capture a video of Sasuke's body."

Right now I'm on the couch where Sakura and I had our sexy time yesterday. I'm eating tomato chips and watching some weird TV movie when I hear someone coming out of the bathroom. I know it's Sakura. I want to go run and hide like a little pussy, but I realized this: I am an Uchiha. We aren't pussies. We _dominate _pussies.

I was going to face her, like an Uchiha.

She comes out soaked, and she looks upset. Immediately, my fiancé senses are coming and I realize that something's wrong.

"Hey, Sakura. What's going on?"

She sniffed. "My camera. It's broken!" She held out the soaked camera in her hands. Secretly, I was overjoyed, knowing that basically I didn't have to live in fear anymore, but I still had the soaking pile of Haruno to deal with.

"Sakura, it's okay." I took her into my arms, not caring if she was going to pull my clothes down. Who cared, since her camera wasn't working anymore?

"Oh, Sasuke-kun!" she hugged me tight and kissed me. "I'm sorry for acting like this to you. What I did was mean and awful and totally branched your bubble of privacy that you like to keep. So I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything. I won't do it again. I promise."

I kissed her back. How could I stay angry at something like this? More importantly, for my own ego: how was I scared of this little beauty? What the hell is wrong with me? Do I have like, some irrational fear of technology and beautiful women?

"I forgive you. Just make sure you keep that promise."

"I will." She sniffed. "By the way, the bath. There's, uh…some funny stuff in there."

I turned a little red, but tried not to show it. "That's not important."

"Well, you know, the bath's still warm. And I'm still wet." She cuddled up to me and looked up, her eyes lusty and hot.

"If you insist," I said. "I'm a little dirty myself." I took the camera from her hands and tossed it onto the sofa, carrying her in my arms while we went back to the bathtub and I placed her in the lukewarm water.

"Fuck, I missed you," I muttered as I stripped and stepped in with her, positioning her on top of my lap.

"I—oh!" she moaned as I entered her. "I missed you too."

I kissed her ear softly. "I love you. Just no more funny business, okay?"

"Ah—" she moaned. "Ah, Sasuke-kun, yes, yes!"

I'm not sure if she was crying out in pleasure or agreeing to my terms, but either way, I was satisfied.

.

**some time later**

.

Our wedding was in a couple months, and Sakura was freaking out about all the plans and the cakes and the flowers and all this other shit that I don't really care about. I just wanted a small wedding and the wedding night to come quickly. I just wanted _her_.

"Sasuke-kun, I'll be out. I have to go make some plans with the flower shop, and then go to a cake tasting. I'm not bringing you because…you don't like flowers, and you hate cake, so I'm assuming you'll just not eat any cake at the wedding."

"Good for you, Sakura," I said, scanning over the news on Google on my laptop. "You should be a private detective."

"I know, right?" she giggled. She went over to me and kissed my cheek. "Love you, Saucy-cakes."

"I told you, no more pet names."

"Whatever. Bye, Sasuke-kun!"

"Bye, Sakura." Once I heard the door lock, I opened a private browser and started to look up some lesbian porn to jack off to. It wasn't that I was unfaithful, but I was just really horny and Sakura hadn't touched me in nearly a week because she was so busy planning all this wedding crap that could probably wait until the day before.

Suddenly, I got an email from one of my old college classmates that I hadn't seen in a while.

"Dude, check this out: your fiancée sent me and some of the other guys this. It's fucking brilliant."

I opened it, only to see a naked, censored video of Sakura with her private parts pixelated. She started talking to the camera nonchalantly and said stuff about how she was getting married to her "one and only love" and how we make love and all that good stuff…

Quickly, I went over to our room and looked at the new camera she bought in replacement for the old one. On it was the same exact video that was on the website, except there was a previous video that was directed to me.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun! In case you're watching this while I'm out…don't think I don't know what you're doing! Or at least, about to do. Here's a naked video of me, so it saves you the trouble of trying to catch me in the act. At least I'm open about it. Enjoy, baby!"

The video paused, and then she added, "Oh yeah. I sent this to your old guy college classmates to see if you were getting a good deal. Just to make sure. Love you!'

I heard another ding from my computer. Another email. Actually, _several _emails.

"Definitely a ten. Out of ten."

FML.

* * *

**wow im lazy as hell**

**im sorry**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS REVIEW PLEASE**


	63. Don't Be So Naive

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-three. third person.  
******FML o63: **Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Mikoto began to cry when she found out that her son and his fiancee, Sakura, were "impure" for their wedding. They're both 27 years old, living together for three years. FML.

* * *

**.o63.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**D**_o_n**'**_t _B**e **_S_o **N**_a_i**v**_e_

_._

"This tux looks nice on you, Sasuke-kun. Don't you think so, dear?" Mikoto asked as she dressed Sasuke up in various different tuxedos, trying to see which one would make him the most handsome for his upcoming wedding.

"They all look fine," Fugaku muttered, crossing his arms and refusing to make eye contact with his wife. Ever since Sasuke told his family that he was getting married to his best friend and girlfriend of five years, his mother broke out into hysterics and Fugaku had to be the one to calm her down. Each. Time.

There was obviously some thick tension between Sasuke and his dad that would hopefully resolve after the wedding was over.

"Do you think Sakura-chan would match you in a red rose, or a pink one? Her mother is helping her pick out her dress. Oh, what I'd give to have a daughter right now…"

"Thanks, Mom," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. He looked at himself in the mirror and smirked. Not bad, not bad. Sakura would surely fall head over heels for him all over again, what with his _posh _and _gentleman-like _appearance.

And then she'd rip those clothes off him and celebrate their wedding night with a _bang_.

"Maybe white, since you both are so pure together and are both so innocent!"

Sasuke froze for a second, then shook his head. Of course his mother would have to know _sometime _that they weren't exactly the purest couple around…in fact, one might consider both of them to be pretty dirty and nasty, considering the things that they did together that weren't exactly suitable for "innocent" minds.

"White would be good," Sasuke said. "It would match her dress."

"Oh, but what if her bouquet is yellow? Then what would happen?" Mikoto whined.

Sasuke sighed, feelings Mikoto's hands tug on his tux jacket and shirt.

.

.

.

"How do you feel right now, Sakura-chan?" Mebuki asked as she practiced playing with her daughter's hair in order to prepare her for the big day. "Excited?"

"More like nervous," Sakura mumbled as she fidgeted with her fingers. "I mean, the wedding's in a week and I feel like I might throw up. I haven't felt this nervous since our first date together."

"You almost threw up there," Mebuki pointed out.

"Oh, stop it. I don't like to think about it. But you know, I'm just…really unprepared for this kind of thing."

Sakura felt her mother's fingers untangle from her hair and move to her shoulders. "Sakura-chan, you are a strong, independent Asian woman who don't need no man. Unless, of course, you want to. But in any case, this feeling will pass. When your father and I got married—hey, don't make that face. We were young and in love, too!—he had this feeling that he was going to puke at our wedding because he felt so nervous. And you know what happened?"

"What?" Sakura asked.

"He threw up on my dress. Right as we were saying our vows." Mebuki shook her head. "I remember just being covered in loads of vomit while he was on the floor next the end of my dress and…well, it was pretty awful. Everyone basically evacuated the church and didn't even stay for the cake."

Sakura groaned. "Thanks, kaa-san. Now I feel even _more _nervous for my wedding."

"Don't be. As long as you don't eat anything that day, all you have to worry about is an empty stomach growling."

"You're awful."

"I know. Now sit up straight and let me see if I can figure out these knots."

.

.

.

Both Sasuke and Sakura met up from their parents' house back to their own apartment that they were renting, just until the marriage was finalized. Then, they would move into a big house with a beautiful garden (just what Sakura wanted) and a contemporary interior (what Sasuke wanted).

"You look like shit," Sasuke noted as he put an arm around his fiancée's waist. "Hard time with the parents?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's an understatement. I was nervous enough already, but my mom told me a story about _her _wedding disaster and now I'm frightened."

He kissed her forehead. "Don't be. You'll be beautiful and stunning and we'll have a great time. And then…" he leaned into her ear and whispered huskily. "We'll have an amazing night."

Sakura felt herself blush as she heard Sasuke chuckle. "I don't usually use this word, but you're adorable," he said.

"Stop it! Anyway, how was _your _day? Did your mother rip you to pieces?"

"Basically. She was tugging on my tux so hard I felt as if I was going to choke and die. She's so indecisive and wants to know what you're going to be wearing next week."

"It's a secret!" Sakura gasped.

"I know. I kept telling her that, but she just wouldn't listen." Sasuke sighed. "Plus, she was all about the concept of 'white' for the wedding. She thinks it's because it's a "pure" color and that we're both equally innocent, but in reality, if she found out, I think she would blow our—excuse me—_my _brain out."

Sakura looked at him. "Well…we're not exactly the _purest _couple in the world, if you catch my drift."

He scoffed. "Of course I catch your drift. I'm not an idiot."

They sat silent for a moment before Sakura moved herself closer to Sasuke. Her left arm was pressing against his torso, and her hand rested on his thigh. She looked at him with soft eyes.

"You're not too tired?" he asked, feeling himself rise.

"There will be plenty of time to sleep later," she said. "I want you right now."

Sasuke gently pushed her hair out of her face before engulfing her in a passionate kiss. She fell backwards and wrapped herself around him as he pinned her wrists over her head with one hand, the other hand snaking its way under her shirt.

"Not so rough this time," she murmured through his lips. "I'm still feeling a little bit sore."

"I'm sorry," he said through kisses. "I apologize if it hurt last time, but right now you're lying here waiting for me to devour you, and I don't know if I can hold back or not."

"Then don't," Sakura said. "Give me everything."

He pulled apart for a second to look at his goddess sprawled out on the floor underneath him. And although he'd felt strong love for her many times over the course of five years, he couldn't describe how he felt about her at the moment. It was a stronger feeling than lust or love. It was _need_. As if he couldn't live another second without her.

"Where have you been all my life?" he breathed softly, realizing how incredibly cheesy he just sounded.

She took his face in her hands and smiled. "Looking for you."

"I've found you, though."

"Yes." She leaned up to kiss him. "You have. And now, I won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."

That was it. He ripped the shirt off her and undid his belt buckle and plunged into her with such ferocity that she cried out louder than he'd ever heard her scream.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "But you made me lose it."

"It's fine," she breathed through heavy pants. "Since when I'm with you, I no longer feel pain."

"I love you," he murmured, his lips on her collarbone.

She was too busy moaning to repeat his words, but he knew that she meant them. Her fingers scratched his back hard, leaving red marks, but he didn't care. All he cared about was the love of his life underneath his body, exploding in ecstasy because of him.

"I—" she began, trying to find her words through the hazy confusion of their lovemaking. "I love you, too—"

She was interrupted by her climax as he came, too, spilling himself on her lean stomach.

Sasuke sighed heavily, falling on top of her small body. He tried to catch his breath as he pulled Sakura close to him. She kissed his cheek.

He felt his eyes begin to flutter shut when he heard something rattling in the door, and footsteps approaching. Before he could get to his feet, he heard screaming. And not from Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun! Sakura-chan? What are you—what are you two _doing_?!"

.

.

.

Sakura tried to cover herself with a blanket as best she could, ignoring the fact that her shirt, bra, and other articles of clothing were discarded on the floor.

Sasuke, on the other hand, pulled on his pants but left his shirt on the ground.

"Why are you here so late at night?" Sasuke asked, facing his mother. He seemed stone-cold, his face expressionless and without a bit of shame or embarrassment in them.

"I wanted to drop off your clothes for the wedding," Mikoto began, trying to avert her gaze from her son's half-naked body and her future daughter-in-law's full naked body.

"At ten o'clock in the evening?" Sasuke said, his voice rising. Sakura could see that he was beginning to get angry. She didn't really blame him.

"I would have forgotten otherwise," Mikoto said. "But tell me this, you two." Her face got serious. "How long have you been impure?"

"What do you mean by impure?" Sakura piped in.

Mikoto frowned. "How long have you two been doing the deed?"

Sasuke and Sakura looked back at each other before saying simultaneously, "About three years now?"

"Three? You two have been living in this apartment for three years!" Mikoto shouted.

"Well, yes," Sakura said. "But Mikoto-san, we've been together for five years."

"You two should have waited until next week! You've both become dirty! I can't—" she began to sob hysterically. "I don't know if I can accept you both as my children!"

"We were each others' firsts, if that makes a difference," Sakura said quietly.

"Oh, it sure does," Mikoto said sarcastically. "At least you weren't whoring yourselves out for money."

"Don't talk to her in that way," Sasuke growled. "Whether or not you like it, Mom, it's already done and finished. You won't be able to change what has happened. Plus, it's not _your _wedding. It's ours." He walked back towards Sakura and put an arm around her bare shoulders.

Mikoto saw how serious her son was and tried to stop crying. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just hard to accept. I mean, I've always thought you were the sweet Sasuke-kun who wouldn't do anything bad when he grew up, considering how cute of a baby you were when you wore those little diapers and…"

"Mom…" Sasuke warned as he tried to cover Sakura's ears.

"And you had that little watermelon hat that was just the _cutest _thing ever, and the way you used to roll around in puddles in the backyard after it rained, and…"

"Stop," Sasuke said. "Get out."

"Oh, but Sasuke-kun!" Mikoto's eyes teared up again. "I'm still just thinking. Can we have a wedding when both the bride and groom are impure? What would make the wedding night special, then? It would just be another…incident, for you two."

"We'll be fine," Sakura said quietly. She smiled at her future mother-in-law. "Thanks."

Mikoto sighed. "We'll talk about this in the morning. In the meantime, both of you get dressed. No more funny business until next week, alright?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Be there or be square at nine, alright?" Mikoto said, heading towards the door.

"Hn."

She closed it slowly, still unsure that her kids would go against her words as soon as she left. And she wasn't too wrong, in fact.

"You know," Sakura said sheepishly. "We're both still sort of naked."

"You are," he smirked, reaching for the zipper on his pants. "But don't feel embarrassed. I'll be naked with you."

.

.

.

The next day, Sasuke and Sakura went to the Uchiha family's house in order to get the beating of their life. They held hands the whole way there, and Sasuke could feel how hard she was pulling on his fingers.

"Don't worry," he said. "It'll be fine."

"You promise?" she asked, still wary.

"Sure."

Sasuke kissed her forehead before knocking three times on the door. Fugaku opened, his eyes widening slightly before shaking his head in what seemed like disapproval.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Again, you've left me to deal with the mess of your mother."

"She told you?" Sasuke asked as Sakura shied behind him.

"She was _screaming _about it all night. Neighbors were asking if we had to call the police or something because they thought I was hitting her. My goodness. I didn't know it was possible to scream that ferociously for such a long period of time. Anyway, come in. Itachi's out in the back right now, but be prepared for endless gestures and jokes."

"I'll make sure to get my shotgun ready," Sasuke muttered as he led Sakura inside. They sat down at the kitchen table where they both waited nervously for Mikoto.

Fugaku pulled up a chair next to them so that he sat face to face with Sakura.

"So, Sakura. Tell me about yourself. I'd like to know you more, considering you'll be my future daughter in a couple of days."

Sakura fumbled with her fingers and her words. "Um. I'm twenty-seven years old, just like Sasuke-kun. We met when we were twenty-two at the bar for casual drinks with other friends after graduation, and then we bumped into each other, and then he spilled his drink on my dress, and I got mad, and then he offered to pay for a new one, and then I wasn't mad anymore, and then—"

Fugaku held up a hand. "About yourself, honey. Sasuke has told me everything else."

"Oh." She turned red. "I, um. I like to read. My favorite color is pink. I really love watching romantic movies, especially with your son, since it's funny to watch him suffer."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Do you love him?" he suddenly asked, and Sasuke's gaze immediately turned to Sakura. She felt uncomfortable with the attention she was receiving from two Uchiha men, and said softly, "I love him more than anything else in the world."

There was a small pause before Fugaku smiled. "You're a wonderful woman, Sakura-san. It'll be a pleasure to have you in our family. Now, if only my wife could see it the same way…"

"So you don't mind us, um, doing it?" Sakura asked softly.

Fugaku scoffed. "Of course not! When you have a kid like Itachi who plays around with different girls every week, it's refreshing to see a long-term commitment, especially when the two love each other deeply."

Sakura let out a sigh of relief and Sasuke smirked, his hand resting on Sakura's thigh for comfort.

Soon, Mikoto came down, taking a seat across from Sasuke. Fugaku looked at the two and said, "I think it's time for me to leave," and left, tucking his chair in.

"So, Sasuke-kun," Mikoto said. "Tell me why yesterday's incident shouldn't make me change my mind about inviting Sakura into our home."

"Because I love her," he said. "And we just want to express our love in the closest, most intimate physical way there is."

"I see. Since hugging and kissing wasn't enough?"

"No."

He squeezed her knee to let her know that he was on her side. She squeaked a little, and Mikoto's gaze turned to her.

"And Sakura. I have liked you very much before until I found out a major character flaw in you yesterday. Tell me why you think you deserve to marry my Sasuke-kun."

"Well," she began. "I do care for him very much. I love him just as much as you do, but in a different sort of way. And I think you—" she yelped again, jumping half an inch off her seat. Sasuke's hand was moving closer up her thigh before she felt his fingers traveling to the inner part of her leg.

Mikoto raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"I think that you have a good point in believing that some should wait until marriage. But on the other hand—oh!"

Sasuke's fingers were pressing against her core. She looked at him with angry eyes, telling him to stop, but he didn't look at her. His eyes were focused on his mother, and his mouth was expressionless. She knew that he was teasing her on purpose. She _knew_.

"Is something wrong?" Mikoto asked.

"No, nothing. I just need some, uh, water." Sakrua prepared to get up before Mikoto held up a hand. "I'll get it. In the meantime, think of better reasons to support your flimsy argument."

Once Mikoto left the room, Sakura turned to Sasuke with a blazing expression in her eyes. "What are you doing?" she said in a fierce whisper.

He smirked. "Loosening you up."

"You aren't loosening me up! You're making me even more stiff!"

Sasuke leaned in so that it seemed as if he would kiss her. "Am I, now?"

She looked into his dark eyes and wanted to melt into his arms. "You are," she said, trying to keep her voice strong.

His fingers didn't cease to stop moving against her, and she cried out. "Sasuke-kun, stop," she begged. "Please, not now."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I think you like it."

"I do like it," she cried out. "But I can't—not now—" She felt her voice choke, and Sasuke heard it too. He removed his fingers and took her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said. "That was wrong of me."

She felt good and secure against his chest, as if she could do anything. Even if it meant standing up to Mikoto.

"It's okay," she said. "Just please, save it for later."

Sasuke moved stray hairs out of her face. "Alright, love." He moved her so that she was no longer sitting on a chair, but on his lap. "Just kiss me before she comes back."

"One kiss," she warned.

"One."

She leaned in slowly, waiting for her lips to press against his. Suddenly, she felt his tongue pass against her lips, tasting the roof of her mouth. She struggled to push him away, but he held onto her tighter.

"This is one kiss," he murmured. "You never specified what kind of kiss."

"Sasuke-kun," she moaned softly, feeling herself giving in. "We can't. Your mom, she'll—she'll come back soon…"

"Let her see, then," he said.

Fine. Sakura was already in hot water with Mikoto. Who cared if she went a little deeper?

Her hands buried themselves in Sasuke's hair and clutched fistfuls with passion. She knew that he liked it. It would always make him groan into her neck.

"You little tease," he whispered huskily. "You know all the places that make me hot."

She smiled. "I'm glad."

She leaned in for another kiss before she felt Sasuke stiffen under her. She turned her head over her shoulder to see Mikoto with a glass of water in her hand, ready to drop at any time.

"You—" she began, struggling to find her words. "You two—"

"Mikoto-san, wait, let me explain," Sakura said, pushing herself off Sasuke. "I—"

"Save it." Sakura braced herself for the screaming that was about to come, but instead, Mikoto smiled. "I apologize if I've frightened you, Sakura. It's just that…well, you both came as a shock to me when I found out the hard way. While I was getting you water, Sasuke's father—excuse me, your father, too—told me a little story about how when we were your age, we acted the same way and Sasuke's grandparents acted just as foolishly as I did." Mikoto put the water on the table and a hand on Sakura's cheek. "You're a sweet girl, no matter what you've done with Sasuke-kun in your past. I understand where you're coming from. And I don't want to be like my parents. So," she said, taking Sakura's hands in her. "I fully support the two of you together. Just as long as you keep yourselves apart for at least _some _parts of the day." She winked.

Sakura felt her lungs about to collapse from holding her breath in for so long. "Oh, Mikoto-san," she said. "You don't know how happy I am."

She felt Sasuke's arms around her and his chin on her head. "Thanks, kaa-san."

Mikoto smiled. "Now, if you two are going to continue where you left off, please save it for somewhere else. We _eat _here on this table."

.

**the wedding day**

.

Sakura, in fact, did walk down the aisle with a bouquet of yellow roses. In the background, she could hear Mikoto groan as she mumbled loudly to herself that she should've chosen the other flowers for Sasuke.

Sakura didn't care. Her family was there. Her soon-to-be family was there. And the love of her life, smirking at the altar, was there, and would be. Forever.

She walked up to him as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles briefly. "You're so beautiful," he murmured. "I've never been more in love with you than I am right now."

Even behind her veil, she knew Sasuke could see her face blush heavily. "I love you, too," she whispered softly.

"Nothing—and no one—is going to come between us again." He moved closer to her. "I promise."

They were both so caught up in conversation that they completely ignored the priest's words. Instead, he took her veil off without notice, not even knowing if it was time to kiss the freaking bride or not, and took her right there. The kiss was so passionate and sensual that Sasuke almost felt bad about being in a church.

They heard clapping as they kissed, and Sakura tossed her bouquet so that she could wrap her arms around Sasuke's neck. He moved his hand under her skirts and fingered the garter on her leg.

"I'm going to give you the best night of your life," he smirked softly, his lips at her ear. "And we'll start now." His fingers moved up even higher.

This did not go unnoticed by sharp eyes.

"SASUKE-KUN, WE ARE IN A SACRED PLACE. NOW YOU GET HOME AND SAVE THAT FOR LATER."

Sasuke sighed, swiftly taking his hands out. He rolled his eyes. "Yes, mother."

* * *

**omfg why am i so lazy i haven't updated in like a month and a half**

**but to make it up to you i will update another chapter in less than three days**

**REVIEW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE THE BEST REVIEWS MAKE MY LIFE**


	64. I'm Right, You're Wrong

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-four. sakura's pov.  
******FML o64: **Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sasuke and I had an argument on how to pronounce "laboratory." It got so riled up that we ended up having to sleep in different rooms.

* * *

**.o64.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**I**_'_m **R**_i_g**h**_t_, **Y**_o_u**'**_r_e **W**_r_o**n**_g__  
_

_._

"Say it with me. La-bore-uh-tore-ee," I said, making sure to accentuate each syllable. "Why can't you just admit that you're wrong?"

"Because I'm _right_," Sasuke said as he crossed his arms, refusing to look at me. He almost seemed like a spoiled brat, except he wasn't pouting. "It's pronounced lab-ra-tore-ee, not that mumbo-jumbo shit you said."

"Haven't you ever watched Dexter's Lab? He obviously says that it's the way I say it," I argued. Then, I scoffed. "Of course not. You're not intelligent enough to watch those kinds of shows."

"It has nothing to do with intelligence! Dexter's Lab is a cartoon for _kids_. Which you are," he muttered.

I gasped. "I'm twenty-two!"

"Yeah, in my eyes, you're a kid."

"That's because you're twenty-six! Don't stray off from the topic. I know that's what you were planning on doing," I warned. "But seriously, the closest thing you watch to Dexter's Lab is Dexter, and they're totally unrelated!"

"Yeah. One's cool and the other is a sucky cartoon."

"Take that back!" I said, pouncing on him on the sofa. He scooted away so that my forehead hit his forearm, and he shook his head, trying to hold back some kind of conceited smirk.

"Not until you admit that it's pronounced _lab-ra-tore-ee_."

I pulled back from him, as if disgusted to even look at his beautiful, charming, mesmerizing—

Ugly face.

"Never."

Needless to say, the room was quiet for a long, long time. We didn't speak for at least three hours. You could literally feel the tension in the air, but this time, it wasn't sexual. At all.

If that's how he wants to play, fine. I can do it. I won't be the one to crack. I'm _better _than that.

.

.

.

This undeclared but still totally declared in our minds fight has been going on for three hours. It's 8 pm right now and I'm still steaming. I feel that if you looked at me right now and concentrated _really _hard, you could see steam coming out of my ears. I'm a little teapot, short and stout.

"I'm making dinner," I said, getting up from the sofa. He didn't respond, and I didn't expect him to. I just wanted to let him know through a verbal Twitter update that I was making dinner. Of course, if he wanted some, he would have to apologize to me first. But knowing Sasuke, he'd rather starve than say that he was sorry.

Sasuke stared at the TV, watching Dexter while crossing his arms. His eyes were glued to the screen and he probably didn't even notice that I was gone.

Fine.

I hummed as loudly and obnoxiously as I could in order to annoy him or make him tell me to stop. But he didn't say a word. In fact, it was like he was in his own little world, just immersed in the TV.

I took some ingredients from the stove to make egg drop soup with tomatoes. Sasuke's favorite. I knew that he wouldn't be able to resist tomatoes, which are his drugs: at least, besides me.

"Sasuke-kun," I said sweetly. "Do you want tomatoes in your soup?"

His face didn't move, but I saw his eyes dart towards me for a second before moving back to the screen.

Gotcha.

I knew that whenever my back was turned, he was staring at me. I could feel his eyes on my back, burning a hole in my pants. Usually whenever I wanted to make the situation extra hot, I would just wear an apron and nothing else. It really gets _him _hot.

But I wouldn't do that. I'd play fairly, because I don't cheat, unlike him.

Anyway, I was peeling the tomatoes with a knife and cutting them up into small pieces. I made sure to sway my hips a little when walking towards the stove to make the soup, and I could have _sworn _that I heard him gulp a little bit when I shook my ass just a tiny bit.

"It smells good, right?" I asked, my lips curling up into a smirk. "I think it does. I've always liked egg drop soup. I know you do."

The TV was his only response. Apparently Dexter had just killed someone or something, considering the screaming that was going on in the background. I don't know. I never actually understood the show.

I decided to hum louder so that I would overtake the sound of the TV. I hummed my favorite song: the Dexter's Lab theme song.

Now I could tell that Sasuke was getting pissed by the way he tapped his foot impatiently on the coffee table and eventually turned off the TV. He got up from the sofa and walked into our room, grabbing his clothes and toothbrush before going into the guest bedroom and slamming the door.

Sakura: 1. Sasuke: 0.

.

.

.

To tell you the truth, I don't even _like _egg drop soup that much. I only make it for Sasuke because he loves it, and I just wanted to make him apologize and tell me that I'm right, but now I have a giant bowl of soup in front of my face and I don't even want to eat it.

It's not like I'm going to go to Sasuke and be like, "Hey honey, I'm sorry. Look, I made your favorite!"

Bitch please, he should be making me apology food.

But I wouldn't show him that I didn't like it by leaving it out for him. I decided to hold my nose and down the whole thing in a few big gulps. I felt some of the hot liquid dripping onto my shirt and I cursed, but when I looked down, the bowl was empty and that was fine by me. I put it next to the sink and sat down on the sofa, turning on the TV and flipping to reruns of Dexter's Lab. I told myself I'd just watch a few minutes before going to bed.

It was nearly nine-thirty and we were still fighting silently. Sasuke hadn't made a sound ever since he went into the guest room, so I thought he was either sleeping or masturbating in the bed, which will come as a surprise to the next person who decides to sleep in it.

I looked at the cartoon with eager eyes, reciting each line. I knew it all by heart the same way that Sasuke knew all the Dexter episodes. So, in a way, we were both obsessed with the things we liked.

Wait. I'm supposed to be hating him right now, not agreeing with him. I stared at Dexter on the screen, whispering huskily, _omelette du fromage_. For some reason, that turned me on more than I should have expected.

That's it. I'm going to sleep.

I walked to our—excuse me. I mean _my_—room, but before I went in, I knocked on Sasuke's door and said, "I'm finished watching Dexter's La-bore-uh-tore-ee. Good night."

He didn't respond, and I smirked to myself. Did this mean that I won? I began walking away with confidence until I heard him say, "Lab-ra-tore-ee."

I growled.

.

.

.

It's two in the morning and I still can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning in my bed for about four hours now. I don't want to admit it, but the reason I'm having these issues is because Sasuke always sleeps on the left side of the bed where the alarm is, and I'm on the right, and he holds me close to him so that I can fall asleep in his arms and shit, but now I have the whole bed to myself and it's scary and frightening because it's an endless pool of mattress and I'm lonely and cold and—

I'm desperate.

I really want this fight to be over. Okay, even if I hate it, I'll admit that I'm wrong. I'll tell him I'm sorry. _I'll _be the first person to say it. I just don't want to be here by myself not knowing which side of the bed to sleep on: my side or the person I miss and love dearly's side?

I actually debated getting up right now in the middle of the night just to go into his room and jump on top of his hard body and ride him like a horsey saying that I'm sorry and that he should forgive me and that I'll call la-bore-uh-tore-ee the way he wants to and I'll make him egg drop soup every day and—

There was a creaking at the door. I felt my heart speed up, because footsteps were coming in and there was heavy breathing. I thought there was a robber coming in, or someone ready to kidnap me. So I hid underneath the blankets and pressed my hand against my heart, feeling how rapidly it beat while trying not to shake, because robbers can smell fear. Especially when someone wets himself. But I didn't. I already peed before I got in bed.

Shit. I could hear the footsteps getting closer. And closer. And closer. He stopped in front of me, I knew it. And his hand was reaching for the blankets I was holding tight to me—

He pulled it back and I screamed. Sasuke stepped back a bit and cursed.

"Shit, Sakura, I thought you were asleep."

I was breathing heavily. "I thought you were a robber."

Even through the darkness, I knew that he raised an eyebrow. "A robber?"

"Yeah. You were coming to take my soul."

Sasuke shook his head before he sat on the edge of the bed. "Can I come in?" he asked, resting a hand on my hair.

I immediately got defensive, totally ignoring my previous vow to tell him I was sorry.

"Fine," I said, making room for him so that he could reclaim his spot as king of the left side. I moved over to my throne of queen of the right side, and suddenly, I felt more at peace and ready to sleep.

His hand was still on my hair, stroking it softly like I was a little baby ready for naptime.

"I'm sorry," he began. My eyes widened and I looked into his dark face. "I shouldn't have acted so immaturely today with you over such a small issue."

He was completely serious and so beautiful that it was hard to stay mad at him. Okay, I cracked. But if this is a trick, then so help me God, I will—

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry too."

Sasuke brought me close to him. "I don't like sleeping alone without you. I feel like a little kid scared of the dark when you're not with me."

It felt so good being with him. I like how hard his chest was, yet how it provided a comforting and firm pillow, just like memory foam.

He kissed my forehead softly. "I love you."

Fine. That actually melted my heart. "I love you, too, Sasuke-kun," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "Now go to sleep, you serial killer."

"Actually," he said, removing my arms from his waist. "I was thinking about something else. That is, if you're not too tired."

Sasuke held my hands in his own and intertwined his fingers with mine. "What were you thinking of?" I asked. "It's two in the morning. What could we possibly do at—oh."

"Hn."

I could see a small smirk at the corner of his lips.

"Are you up for it?"

I sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I am pretty tired, but…" I reached for the top button on my pajamas. Usually when we slept together (slept in the most literal version of the word) I wore either sexy lingerie or nothing, but because we were in that fight…well, you know.

"Stop," he said. "Let me do it." He moved my hands out of the way so that he unbuttoned my shirt by himself. Once he was at the very bottom, he pulled the shirt off my shoulders and put his hands over my breasts, as if hiding them.

"I wish I could see you right now," he murmured, his lips now against my neck. "I bet you're so beautiful."

"Then turn on the lights," I moaned, his thumbs finding my bud and fanning it softly.

"I don't want to," he said. "Let me just be with you like this tonight."

His lips were now on my breast, sucking it softly. I put my hand over my mouth and tried not to call out, but he took it away and removed himself from my chest with a loud pop.

"Don't," he said. "I want to hear your everything."

Then, his lips were on my other breast as his hand made it way down to my core, his fingers sliding into my silk panties, fingering the warm wetness through my curls.

"Mm," I cried out softly. "Sasuke-kun."

"You're perfect," he said. "In every way, from your face and body to your personality to even your stubbornness." He went up to kiss me softly, licking my lips. "I couldn't tell you how much I loved you each time."

I reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head. He lied on top of me, supporting himself with his forearms, and I felt his heated member resting on my stomach, eager to see me again.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered hoarsely, his hands cupping my breasts.

"It's only been half a day," I said, my fingers in his hair.

"That's half a day too long." He hooked his thumbs in my pajama pants and brought them down, leaving me only in wet panties as he moved his length up and down my leg through his shorts.

"Stop teasing me," I said. "And get out of those."

He chuckled. "Whatever you say."

I helped him get out of the last of his clothes and he tugged my underwear off before pressing me close to him. His warmth leaked onto my stomach and he kissed my nose before pulling me up so that I could make myself comfortable on his lap.

"Sit here. Good girl," he said, impaling me on him. He took one of my nipples in his mouth and sucked softly as he moved me up and down, my breasts bouncing with every ride.

"Sasuke-kun," I moaned. "It's so—it's so good," I cried out, feeling his tongue smooth over me. His arms were around my waist and he quickened his pace so that I bounced on him even more, and his kisses and bites on my breast became even more aggressive and passionate.

I was pulling on his hair as he took my nipple in between his teeth, grazing on it so that it sprang up in his lips, making my other nipple ache for his mouth. Knowing what I was thinking, he switched over and moved me faster on him as he gave my chest the same treatment as before.

"Sasuke-kun," I said. "I'm going to cum soon."

"Then cum," he said through my breast. "Let it out."

He moved me even faster so that the tension would go away quicker, but instead, it prolonged the tingly feeling. I cried out, knowing that I probably woke the upstairs and downstairs neighbors, but I didn't care. Sasuke took himself away from me, his cock releasing himself before turning limp again. I felt myself spill all over his lap and felt my nipples tingle with wet excitement from his saliva.

With his shirt that he had thrown before our lovemaking, he wiped me off first and then himself before pulling me back into the bed with him.

"You're always amazing," he said.

"And you're always the girlfriend-pleaser, in every sense of the word," I retorted, kissing him sweetly. "I love you."

I swore that he rolled his eyes, but he obviously appreciated the comment. "Thanks," he said, and he put an arm around me while I wrapped my thigh around his back. Obviously that probably wasn't the smartest move in the world, considering how I felt him get hard against my other thigh.

Fuck.

.

.

.

"So you're saying that this ginger is a genius with his own lab in his room?" Sasuke asked as I turned on Dexter's Lab, cuddling with him. "And his family has no idea? What kind of idiots are they?"

"Sasuke-kun, it's a cartoon. Just try to enjoy it."

"How can I enjoy it if I don't know what I'm watching?" he asked, his arm around my shoulders. "And here, what about this guy with the bowl-cut? What does he do?"

"He's just the super villain. Now—hey, what are you doing?"

"Dexter."

I sighed. "Okay. So what's this about?"

"Some guy who kills killers."

"That's sick."

"I know," he smirked. "That's why I like it."

I scoffed. "You're disgusting."

"In bed, so are you."

I gasped, slapping him playfully. "You can't say that!"

He shook his head, laughing. "So Sakura. Dexter has to kill killers who have killed someone else without being justified."

"Kill killers who have killed. Try saying that five times fast," I muttered. "Okay, so what?"

"So that's that."

I rolled my eyes. "I can't get into this."

"I can't get into your Dexter's Lab crap either."

I was about to open my mouth to start an argument, but thought against it. Instead, I made myself comfortable on his lap and had him wrap his arms around my stomach.

"Just agree with me on one thing," I asked.

"Anything. At least, almost anything."

"Call it lab?"

Sasuke smirked. "Sure. Fine. Lab works. I'm glad we reached a compromise."

"It's not really a compromise. It's more of a—oh," I said, interrupting my sentence to feel something under me poking my legs. "I—I can work with this."

"I'm glad."

I reached for the remote to turn off the TV when Sasuke pulled my shirt over my head.

"But, you know, if we ever get in a fight again, I get to sleep in the main bedroom," he murmured as he fumbled with my bra.

I snorted. "As if. Now, come here."

Maybe we couldn't agree on everything. After all, no couple is perfect. But we sure are damn close to perfect, and that's really all that matters.

Plus, I'm always right, and he's usually wrong.

(It really is la-bore-uh-tore-ee, I promise).

* * *

**i know i promise in three days but my computer is having issues and i'm going to have to fully wipe my hard drive and reformat my computer, which really sucks. this is the second time i've had to do it because of a virus.**

**stupid stupid stupid**

**anyway**

**PLEASE REVIEW I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT**


	65. Für Sasuke

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-five. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o65: **Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I was arguing with my pianist girlfriend on how bad my favorite song would sound on the piano. She left crying, leaving behind a CD of the piano version of the song she played for me. FML.

* * *

**.o65.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**F**___ü_r **S**_a_s**u**_k_e

I DO NOT OWN CLOCKS BY COLDPLAY NOR DO I OWN HEY JUDE BY THE BEATLES

_._

One of the things that made me fall in love with Sakura in the first place is the fact that she knows how to play the piano. Really, really well.

She's been practicing ever since she was about five or six, so it's no wonder that she's basically a concert pianist at twenty-two. It's always nice to just lie down on the sofa, watching as her fingers run up and down the keys. She serenades me with a new piece everyday, and I never get tired of watching her play. She performs with such passion and confidence that I can't help but fall in love with her a little more each second.

Right now, I'm looking at her arms slam down onto the keys and create this huge, big sound that's echoing throughout the house. It's a Beethoven piece, she tells me, which is why it's so loud and violent.

To be honest, I never really understood any kinds of old music like Beethoven or Bach or whatever, and I just listened for the sake of listening. But because she drills it into my head so often, that kind of thing sticks with me.

She stops playing for a second so that she can climb onto my body and lie down on my chest. She smiles at me and I lean up to kiss her.

"So? How was that?"

I smirk. "It's great. As always. I expect nothing less from you." I take a piece of her hair and twirl it around my finger before she kisses my forehead and brushes my bangs away from my face.

"I love you," she says. "And I love playing for you."

The fact that she can see such simple, innocent words and make me hot and horny is ridiculous. I turn her around so that I'm on top and she's under me, and I'm holding her wrists gently, pinning her down onto the sofa. She's wiggling herself so that she feels more comfortable under me, and I loosen my grip on her wrists before she puts her arms around my shoulders.

"I want you," she says softly, looking into my eyes with that gentle tone of hers. The fact that she's so pure and innocent and perfect makes me feel out of control. I want to love her passionately, but at the same time I want to take it slow. The bad thing is, I can't control how I feel half the time and we usually just end up making love like wild rabbits.

She loves it and never complains. In fact, she always tells me to go harder than what I do, but I'm trying to limit myself because I know that it hurts her more than it hurts for me.

Sakura brings her graphic Tee over her head, and I see the music score tattooed on the cotton disappear as she tosses it onto the ground before reaching for my own shirt.

I bring it over my head and press my lips against her roughly, but with all the love in the world.

Fuck it, we did it like fucking animals. And we loved every second of it.

.

.

.

If I had to say what my favorite song in the entire world was by a single artist, I'd probably have to go with Clocks, by Coldplay. The whole song is so mellow and I can just close my eyes and relax to the song without having to worry about anything else that's going on in my life. The background music makes me hear ticking clocks and it all just is perfect together.

I think Sakura's asked me this question about a billion times, and I've told her the same thing repeatedly. I think she should know what it is by now, but I just tell her for the sake of watching her face light up every time I answer. It's like she's trying to double check, or triple check, or billion-check my answer as if her life—or worse, our relationship—depended on it.

"My favorite song is Hey Jude. By The Beatles, of course," Sakura told me in response to her own question. "I think it's just so beautifully done."

I shrugged. I didn't care much for The Beatles, and only listened to them whenever Sakura put one of their CDs in. Instead, I just nodded to show her that I acknowledged her statement and put my arm around her shoulder.

"We should play a duet," she murmured as she buried her head in my shoulder. I rolled my eyes. She always brought this up.

"Sakura, I haven't played guitar since high school. I don't even remember any chords, let alone where it is."

"But still," she said, lifting her head. "We could get you a new one. And you've always been good at the guitar. Remember? You used to play for me, too."

"I wouldn't use it much," I said. She was so annoying when it came to these things. Trying to better myself.

She saw that I was getting frustrated, so she shut her mouth. Then, she leaned over and kissed me. "I won't bother you about it again."

"Hn."

We sat listening to the song as she made herself comfortable next to me again. I wanted to stay mad at her. I really did. But when I looked over and saw how relaxed and angelic she looked, I couldn't help but feel my lips lift into a small smile.

.

.

.

I was reading a book as I sat next to her at the piano, hearing her play a soft, gentle song as I flipped the pages. It was as if she knew exactly what I was reading at the moment, so that she changed her piece to match the words in the book.

I bet she's psychic.

I really bet that.

From the top of my book, I look and see that her fingers are slowly gliding across the keys like figure skaters on ice, and suddenly, they stop. She knows that I'm watching her play, so she turns around and says, "I think Clocks would sound really nice on the piano."

I drop my book. "No, it wouldn't," I said. "It wouldn't sound good at all on the piano, no matter who's playing it."

Her expression dropped. "I think it would. The bass has this really nice repetitive section that's great for the left hand, and—"

"It would suck," I said, dropping my book. "It's just not meant for the piano."

"But what if—what if it were arranged so that it fit more smoothly into the keys?"

I picked my book up and focused on the pages again. "Nothing that anyone does can ever make it sound good on the piano. End of conversation."

I was trying to read, but she did that little quiver of her lips that told me something was wrong. I sighed, looked up from my book expecting to see her become angry because she lost the argument, but instead I was surprised to see tears forming in her eyes.

"Sakura, what's wrong?" I asked, putting the book aside so that I could walk towards her. "Did I say something wrong?"

She blinked, her face almost frozen. Several tears dropped, and she quickly left the piano bench, throwing something at my chest.

"Take it," she yelled, her voice choking with sobs. "And no givebacks." She quickly pulled on her coat and left the house before I could follow her and ask where she was going.

I bent over and picked up the thing she threw at me. It was a CD, one of those fancy ones in the nice, sleek case. It was obvious that she had spent a lot of time looking for something like this.

I opened up the case and looked inside. There was a blank CD with writing written in her perfect calligraphy. It said:

Clocks, by Coldplay  
Arranged by Haruno Sakura  
Dedicated to Uchiha Sasuke: her best friend, her confidante, and the love of her life.

My heart sank into my stomach. I groaned, knowing that I fucked up. Really bad.

I should have appreciated what she did for me. I took her for granted, and I messed up.

I had to go find her.

But first, I sat down, popped the CD into the CD player, closed my eyes, and listened.

.

.

.

Oh, man. My life changed in the span of hearing that arrangement. I've never really understood what it was like to try something different, and wow. It blew my mind.

That was by far the best thing I've ever heard. Even better than the original, if possible. Now I felt like a huge jackass. I took the CD out and put it in my coat pocket, slipping the coat over my body.

I needed to win back my girl.

But before I left, I looked behind me at the guest room of the house and slowly walked towards it. No one had come over to visit for so long that it was basically an unused part of the house. No matter.

Opening the closet, I reached in for something I hadn't touched in a long time. Dusting it off, I looked at it and all the memories we had together. Then, I slung it over my shoulder and went to go find Sakura.

.

.

.

There were a billion places where Sakura could have been. Most of them were date spots that I took her to, but I didn't think she'd want to go anywhere that reminded her of me, especially since I treated her like shit just now.

We were usually inseparable, and she didn't really go out with any friends most of the time, so I really had no idea where she would have gone. Running through the city with a burden trapped on my back, I was looked at strangely by passer-bys who wondered who I was and what I was doing.

Wait.

I stopped to think about it for a second. Where did I first meet her?

I thought back to the time we first met, when I was trying to find a suitable piano for my family to play in their free time. I knew nothing about pianos or shit and was basically clueless as I walked in the store. But when I saw her, saw Sakura, playing piano gracefully on a beautiful white Steinway…I knew that I wanted her, no mater how ridiculous that sounds.

My feet took me to the store, and I looked in front of me, debating whether or not to go in. The rooms were dark and barely illuminated by the cheap lightbulbs, but I inhaled, then exhaled, and stepped into the door. A bell hanging on the side of the door rang, but it echoed throughout the halls of pianos.

Throughout the radio speakers I heard soft piano music. It was sad music. The kind of sad that really makes one feel guilt and remorse. I feel like this song was probably dedicated to me in some way or another.

However, I realized that it wasn't the speakers. The music was live, coming from somewhere else. Somewhere where only I knew it could come from.

Once Sakura heard my footsteps, she stopped playing. I could see that she was trying to mentally prepare herself for any backlash or arguments I might have retorted against her, but she said, "What do you want?" before I could say anything. "Do you want to give me back my CD? I told you, no givebacks."

"I don't want to give anything back to you," I said, walking towards her. I could see that she was breaking, but I kept walking towards her. "I just wanted to apologize." I crouched down in front of her so that she looked down at me from the bench. Then, I pulled out the CD from my coat pocket.

"This arrangement," I began. I was breathless. "This has got to be the most beautiful thing in the world. I've never heard anything like it. It was as if…" I couldn't finish. "Thank you," I said, not knowing what I could have said to clear the air. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I knew she would break. She fell right into my arms, sobbing loudly, nearly knocking me off my feet.

"I'm so glad you like it," she cried. "I worked so hard on it, and when you told me that it wouldn't sound good, I just felt awful. But knowing that you really, really like it—"

"I love it," I said, stroking her hair. "And I love you."

"That just makes me so happy." She leaned up and kissed me roughly, her lips heavy on mine. I kissed her back for a second before falling apart. Then, she realized what had been on my back.

"Where'd you find it?" she said, her eyes adjusting to the dim light. "I thought you said you lost it—"

I scoffed. "Please. Believe it or not, Sakura, I used to be the musician back in the day, too. Certainly not as good as you, but well enough." I unzipped my guitar from my case and made myself comfortable on the ground. I began to tune the strings and blow off the dust.

"Keep in mind that I haven't played in about a hundred years, so it may be a little rusty."

Sakura sidled up next to me. "Are you going to sing, too?"

I smirked. "Maybe."

After I finished tuning, I began to strum chords before clearing my throat. Then, I started to play.

"Hey, Sakura," I began, singing. "Don't make it bad."

I saw that her eyes widened. She was obviously surprised that I had done this for her: not only play her favorite song, but dedicate it to her too.

"Remember to let her into your heart…"

Sakura closed her eyes, and I could see that she was crying. But this time, they were tears of happiness. I could do with that.

"…You have found her, now go and get her…"

I kept singing and playing along as Sakura moved her head slowly to the beat. When I finished, she opened her eyes and wiped them with the back of her hand. I was waiting for her enthusiastic response, but instead, she laughed shakily and said, "That was awful."

"What do you mean it was awful?" I asked, surprised at her remark. "I think I did a pretty good job."

"First of all, you were totally flat. Second, so many of your chords were wrong. And third, you can't just take The Beatles and replace Jude with my name! It just doesn't work! There aren't even the same numbers of syllables!"

I rolled my eyes. "When company labels sign me up, I'll forget you and the other little people when I'm famous."

She punched my arm playfully and clung to my arm. "But I liked it anyway."

"I like you, too," I said, watching her blush.

"Stop it," she said, laughing. We looked into each others' eyes for a long time, before I took her face gently into my hands and kissed her softly. Then, with one free hand, I reached for her shirt and slowly unbuttoned it so that it fell to the ground, leaving her half-naked while her skirt was bunched up at her waist. She put her arms around me and pressed herself into me, feeling the heat of my body against her core.

We looked at each other again before smiling simultaneously, and I leaned down to kiss her once more.

The only remaining light bulb in the store flickered out, leaving us in the dark as we became one spirit, one soul, one body.

.

.

.

Sakura didn't know this, but every time I couldn't sleep or if she was partying with Kami knows who, I popped in the CD into the CD player and closed my eyes and fell asleep to it. I really couldn't tell you how amazing of a job she did. You'd have to listen to the song yourself.

But one time, she caught me as I was sprawled out dead on the couch, Clocks playing on repeat. I knew that she was probably smirking when she found me and when she put the blanket over my body and stopped the CD. She just wants to know that she's right, and I'm wrong.

Today I didn't let her catch me. I had woken up right before she got home and turned off the CD, putting it in my guitar case so that it would always be with me, even if she wasn't.

"You're awake," Sakura said. "Do you want me to cook you some breakfast?"

I yawned and shook my head. "Nah." Then, I pulled her onto my lap with one arm and reached for my guitar with the other. "Do you feel like doing a duet right now? I've been practicing."

"Hm. I don't know," she said teasingly. "Can you meet my standards?"

I snarled as she giggled, trying to calm me down. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yes. I'd love to duet with you. But please, no singing this time. At least not until you've worked on it a little bit."

"That was the only time you'll ever hear me sing. I know, you're devastated. It's okay," I half-joked. "I'll remember you when I'm famous."

Sakura laughed. "Whatever you say, Sasuke-kun. Now, sit next to me. We'll play something together. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three—"

My fingers strummed as she played the keys. I don't even know what song we were playing. I was playing some old song I learned in junior high while she used the piano to harmonize with my chords. It wasn't even a real song. But still, just playing with her, side by side? I feel blessed.

I stopped playing for a second to lean over and kiss her. "I love you," I said, my lips twirled up in a small smile.

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but instead, she began to play something for me, singing at the same time.

It was okay that I didn't understand the words or anything. I knew what she meant. So I put my fingers back on the strings and began to play with her.

* * *

**Guys, i am SO SORRY that i haven't updated in over a month. i have been busy and exhausted with so many things that i feel like i'm going to explode. i know that's not really an excuse but again, i'm incredibly sorry that i haven't been good to my readers.**

**this chapter was hard because i wanted to put song lyrics, but i know ou can get your story taken down for them, so it's better to just leave them out except when necessary.**

**and shit, I make sasuke so OOC during his perspective chapters. BLAH.**

**again i apologize for any inconvenience, but i hope you still continue to love me and read my works and review (REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!). thanks so much, i love you all!**


	66. Trouble in Paradise

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-six. third person.  
******FML o66: **Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, while on a school field trip to the beach, Sakura was asked to take a picture of a couple kissing in front of the sunset. She agreed, until they continued to kiss after the picture was taken, leaving her standing uncomfortably with their camera waiting for them to finish. FML

* * *

**.o66.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**T**_r_o**u**_b_l**e **_i_n **P**_a_r**a**_d_i**s**_e_**  
**

_._

"It's so hot," Sakura complained as she fanned herself with the big beach hat she bought at the convenience store three minutes away from the hotel she and her classmates were staying at. "I actually feel like I'm melting. By the end of today, will you guys scoop me up into a bucket and carry me back so that I can be solidified in the freezer?"

Naruto shook his head. "I have no idea what you just said. This heat is probably making you crazy. I know for a fact, because—" Naruto paused to take off his shirt in the middle of the street, causing people to stare. "I'm actually coated in sweat and I feel disgusting. Look, you can even see the little droplets racing down my rock-hard abs. Doesn't it remind you of raindrops racing on the car window?"

"You have such shitty analogies," Sai muttered as he lifted his belly shirt up even higher, revealing more of the nice V he had. "But yes, we can all come to a conclusion that it's hotter than hell out here."

Sakura stopped walking to take a drink of ice cold water, pouring the rest of it all over her body so that it ran down her shirt, making it transparent so that her bikini top peeked through the thin, wet cotton.

"Why don't we get back together with the group?" she said, oblivious to Naruto and Sai's stares. "Come on. Hurry up," she said. "Or else you'll burn and die."

Naruto gulped, while Sai simply turned his head so that he didn't have to face Sakura. Or rather, face her chest.

"Coming," Naruto said hoarsely, ready to follow her along with the rest of their schoolmates for a tour around the beaches.

.

.

.

Sasuke didn't know what he hated more. The weather or his classmates. Probably both, considering how his female counterparts were dressed in almost nothing but skimpy swimsuits, clinging onto his arm. He hated his own sweat already; it was worse having theirs coat his body, too. And he didn't even _want _to be coated in sweat that wasn't…

Over the head of a blonde classmate—he didn't really care to remember their names—he saw _her_ with Naruto and Sai, her shirt soaked, begging them to come along and rejoin the group.

He liked how the sweat glistened against her body.

He wanted to make _her _sweat.

And he especially wanted her sweat _all over him_.

"Hey, teme!" Naruto called from far as Sasuke zoned out for a second. He immediately looked up to see where his best friend's voice was coming from, and he frowned.

"What?" he asked, unsure if Naruto could hear him since he didn't bother to raise his voice. "What do you want?'

"Come join our group! We're going to go sightseeing and swim in the ocean. Or do you want to hang out with those other lame asses? Your choice!"

Sasuke obviously knew what he was going to choose. Although Naruto annoyed him to no end, he was still his best friend, and a mutual friend of Sakura's.

Pushing aside the blonde and the other girl who was at his side, he walked over casually, giving a nod of acknowledgement to Sai and Sakura before placing his hands at his pockets.

"I knew you made the right choice," Naruto said, his hand wet on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Hn."

.

.

.

Sakura was so nervous. She wanted to punch Naruto in the face for inviting Sasuke over. Not that she kind of minded, of course, considering she had the _hugest _crush on him since forever, but because she was sweaty and disgusting and her shirt was soaked and she just wasn't looking her best in front of the guy she really wanted to impress.

Plus, he would be with her group _for the rest of the day_.

She just wanted to die right there.

Moreover, it was even more awkward, considering Naruto was Sasuke's best friend, and Sai was his buddy that he didn't really admit was a buddy, but technically was, and Sakura…well, she was just Sakura. One of his classmates. That had a big crush on him.

No big deal.

All four of them walked down the street in their flip-flops, panting heavily as the sun beat down against their bodies. Naruto led the line as Sai followed suit, leaving Sasuke and Sakura to loiter behind Sai. Sasuke didn't even bother to pick up the pace so that he could be with his best friend, or even his regular friend. Instead, he slowed down and stayed by Sakura's side.

"Hey," he said, attempting to make small talk. Sasuke wasn't used to this kind of thing. He was used to having girls fall at his feet and kiss his big toe, and then his second toe, and then the other three little piggies, but not Sakura.

Truthfully, he didn't mind if Sakura didn't do that. He liked how she was different. And because she was different, he decided to act differently towards her than he did with other girls.

"Hi," she said, refusing to meet his face due to embarrassment. They had talked before plenty of times, but only in short intervals, and usually it was when either Naruto or Sai was in close proximity to them.

Sasuke didn't understand why she wasn't looking at him. He wondered if it was because she wasn't interested in him or if she was just nervous at the fact that they were sort of alone together.

"Your shirt's dry," he noted, before stopping in his tracks.

_Fuck! What did I just say? _he thought, mentally kicking himself.

She looked down to see that yes, it was dry.

"Oh. Yeah." She was blushing badly. "It felt really good when it was wet, though."

Then, she took a moment to think about what she said.

_Really? Did I just say that? Oh my goodness, he probably thinks I'm a freak, and he's going to go up to Naruto and tell me what a loser I am…_

Sasuke shrugged, and Sakura felt her stomach sink a little bit. Fortunately (and maybe a little bit unfortunately), he still walked with her at her side, his hands in his pockets. He didn't say anything for a long time, and Sakura wondered whether she should start the conversation or wait for him to start.

"I like the beach," he said, interrupting her thoughts. "My parents used to take me and my brother here all the time when we were younger. Unfortunately, we haven't had a lot of time nowadays to come anymore. So it's kind of nice to come back and see that not much has changed." He stopped for a second. "It's always more beautiful the next time you see it."

Sakura gulped. He was deep. She looked up from the ground to see his face. It was chiseled all in the right places. His eyes were soft when he talked about his childhood here and she noted how well his lips glistened as he licked them to prevent them from getting dry. Damp bangs hung in front of his face, dark and smooth, and sharp collarbones peeked from his shirt collar. She felt wet, and not just on the outside.

"This is my first time being here," she said. "But yes. It is beautiful." She took a second to wait if he had to say anything before continuing. "What room are you in at the hotel?

"328."

"Oh! Isn't that…isn't that Naruto's room?"

"Yeah," he responded. He was starting to get annoyed with her—or rather, Naruto—for being the topic of her conversations.

"I didn't see you there when I went to go knock on the door. Who's the unlucky one sleeping on the couch?" she joked.

He smirked. "Who do you think?"

She laughed. "I expected Naruto to be sleeping on the floor. So the couch is basically a palace for him."

Sasuke became interested in all her talks about Naruto. He wanted to ask her some questions, but didn't want to seem too intrusive. After all, she never asked him about all their female classmates who followed him around.

Maybe a small talk wouldn't hurt.

"So…what's the relationship between you and Naruto?"

He hated how her eyes brightened up at his comment.

"Well, we're best friends. Obviously, you understand that, considering you two are best friends. But between me and him? It's different. Sometimes I just want to clobber him and other times I'm glad that he's there, because he really makes me feel like the best person in the world when I'm around him." She stopped and raised her hands in a "don't-get-me-wrong" notion. "That's not to say that I like him or anything. I don't. At least, not in that way. Besides," she said, trying to fix her mistake, while instead accentuating it. "I like someone else."

Sasuke didn't know what to think. Although it was good that she didn't like Naruto, hearing her say that she liked someone else made him burn with jealousy inside. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. And he needed a break.

He picked up his pace and walked by Naruto's side.

.

.

.

Sakura felt _awful_. She thought that she hurt Sasuke when she tried to explain herself, and that's why he didn't want to be with her anymore, and now she felt like shit and was going to die in this heat and no one would come to her funeral because they'd al l be playing on the sandy beach and taking a dip in the ocean and maybe even skinny dip too with other girls that weren't her…

She saw the way he slumped as his hands were dug deep into his pockets. Naruto tried to make small chat with him, but he growled and barely said anything in response. Sai walked faster to try and comfort Sasuke, but he pushed the two of them away.

Trying to break the awkward silence between the three, Sakura asked, "Where are we going? We've been walking for ten minutes now."

"We're almost there," Naruto said. "I hope you brought your swimwear, because this place is just _beachy_!" he said, seeing their destination. He ran into the sand and flopped down, groaning because Naruto had just realized that the ground, no matter if it was covered in soft sand, was a hard surface, and that hot sand _burns_. He quickly got up from the ground and jumped into the cold ocean, his body unsure of how to feel.

"I'm not even going to comment on that pun," Sai said, removing his shirt and stepping into the water slowly.

All that was left was Sasuke and Sakura, and both still felt uncomfortable after their chat just a few minutes ago. Sakura blushed, turning away from Sasuke, unsure if she wanted to swim or lie down in the sand and tan. Secretly, she wanted to play in the waves, but she also wanted to impress Sasuke after her mistake, so she lied down on a beach towel and took off her shirt.

Sasuke gulped, trying not to notice how nicely the shirt stuck to her skin because of the sweat. He pulled his own shirt off, tossed it with Sai's, and headed into the water, trying to put the image of a half-naked Sakura behind him as the water did a good job hiding his enthusiasm.

"Fuckin' cold here," Sasuke muttered as he swam over to his friends.

"Anything beats the heat, though," Sai muttered.

Sasuke was about to say something when he tasted salt water. He turned to Naruto, watching as he lifted water with his hands into his friends' faces.

"Dobe," Sasuke growled. He retaliated with another splash of water. "See how _you _like it!"

"Bleh! Ugh, teme, that tastes nasty!"

Sasuke smirked. "Good."

From what Sakura could see, three teenage boys were reliving their childhood through silly water fights, dunking heads, and foul name calling. She shook her head, sighing "boys will be boys," and lied down, absorbing rays of light into her skin as she began to count grains of sand.

.

.

.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, shaking his wet hair like a dog. "Do you want to go play volleyball with me and the other guys?"

She looked up from sand-grain counting. "Damnit, Naruto, I lost track. I was at one million, two hundred and thirty eight thousand when you interrupted me." She sat upright, bits of sand falling into the crevice of her breasts.

"Now, what did you say again?" she asked.

Sasuke saw how the other two boys were looking at her like hungry animals, and he refused to be a part of that. He turned his vision away as Naruto once again asked if she'd want to play with them.

"Sure," she said. "But just be warned: I'm not too good." Sai helped her up, his eyes making sure to focus on hers, rather than her chest.

"You'll be fine," Sai said. "Come on."

The three of them ran towards the empty volleyball court as Sasuke trailed behind, his eyes darting up once he noticed how nice of a behind Sakura possessed.

.

.

.

"Is it okay, if, uhm, I'm on Sasuke-kun's team?" Sakura asked softly as she moved closer towards Sasuke.

No. He didn't mind at all.

"I mean, if it's okay with teme. I'd rather have you as my teammate than this guy here," he said, motioning crudely towards Sai, "But whatever's cool with him."

Sasuke scowled. He put an arm around Sakura's shoulder and brought her closer to him, making her yelp softly in the process.

"She'll be with me."

Naruto and Sai looked at each other for a second before saying, "Okay then. Fine. Let's start." They moved to the opposite ends of the court when Sakura realized Sasuke's arm was still around her. She liked how it felt. He was warm and comforting and so, _so _protective…

"Just be warned," she said. "I'm not too good of a volleyball player."

"That's alright," he said, removing his arm and crouching into volleyball position. "Because I consider myself a champion after playing for so long with my family."

She laughed. "Well, then it'll mainly just be one against two. So I'll sit over here, and—"

He grabbed her wrist gently. "No. Stay," he said. "I want you to watch their faces when we beat the shit out of them."

The little girl in Sakura squealed and died. But she herself remained composed.

"Okay, then. Let's go!"

.

.

.

It was 13 to 14, and Team "SasuSaku," as Sai dubbed it, was winning by one point. Of course, Sasuke was doing all the work and moving around, and the only reason Team "NaruSai" had any points at all was because they decided to shoot at Sakura instead, who knew nothing about hitting or blocking or passing the ball.

"My forehead must be so red after being hit in the face so many times," she mumbled to Sasuke jokingly. "But it's so big that it's a pretty easy target."

He got out of his position to look at her. "It's not big. It's very…cute."

All of a sudden, he heard the ball hit the sand, and noticed Naruto and Sai cheering. "One more point before we win, teme!"

"That was a dirty trick," Sakura called out.

Naruto made a childish face and Sai pointed at his dick with his hands before the last point's game would start.

"Ready to get your ass kicked?" Naruto shouted cheerfully.

"You wish," Sakura called back.

Sasuke observed the playful banter between the two, and despite what Sakura said about not liking Naruto, he felt that there was something going on between them. So while those two were laughing playfully and acting like the couple of the year, Sasuke spiked the ball into Naruto's stomach.

"Our point," he muttered, before he turned to leave, leaving Sakura, Sai, and Naruto wondering what had happened to Sasuke to cause this mood change.

"Help? Anybody?" Naruto asked, holding his stomach.

Sakura was about to run over to help him, but thought otherwise. She wanted to go after Sasuke, but she thought that maybe it would be best if he was left alone for a while.

So she went to go take a walk on the beach. It was five pm, and she knew the sunset would be coming any time soon.

Meanwhile, Naruto still rolled on the now-warm sand, Sai trying not to giggle as he looked at his friend in pain.

"You look funny when you're curled up like a snail."

"Fuck you and your tiny penis and help me up, bitch."

.

.

.

The sunset had come even quicker than people expected it to be. It was five thirty and bits of red and warm orange peered through the clouds, making the beach a huge silhouette.

"Sakura-san?" she heard. Sakura turned to see her classmates.

"Oh—Tenten, Neji—what're you guys doing here?"

"We heard this was the best place for the sunset, and we wanted a picture before we left the trip, so…" she clung onto Neji's arm while he held a camera in his hands. "This is kind of weird, but could you take a picture of us kissing in front of the sunset?"

"Oh. Uhm, I guess. Okay. Stand wherever you think is cool, and, uh, just do your thing."

"You're great, Sakura-san." Tenten took Neji's hand and led him to the edge of the beach. The sun's rays glowed over the two, and Sakura felt her heart throb for the cute couple in front of her.

"Ready?" Sakura asked.

"Yup!"

Sakura lifted the camera to her eyes when she saw Tenten and Neji passionately kissing, their tongues molding with each other's. Sakura quickly took three pictures and said, "Okay, here—" when she realized that they weren't stopping. Tenten's arms were snaked around his neck, her fingers combing through his long chocolate hair, while his hands were glued firmly onto her hips, bringing her closer to him.

"Uh—"

"Hyuuga." Sasuke's voice called out behind her. "She's finished."

The two awkwardly broke apart panting when Tenten took the camera from her, looking at the pictures. "These look great, Sakura. Thanks again!" She then looked at Neji with mischievous eyes and took his hand. "Do you want to go back to my hotel room? I want to, uh, show you something."

Neji's cloudy eyes sparked with lust, and he smirked, following her eagerly back the ten minute walk.

Sakura turned to Sasuke. "Thanks. That was a situation I never learned how to prepare for."

Sasuke shrugged.

"Are you alright now?" Sakura asked. "You seemed kind of down before."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because—"

"I'm _fine_."

"Oh." Sakura backed away. "Okay."

Damnit, he hadn't meant to push her away. But instead of apologizing, he looked at the sunset and said, "When I was younger, this was my favorite part of the vacation. It's beautiful. I don't think any picture could replicate this."

Sakura looked at him with loving eyes, watching how nicely the sun accentuated his perfect face. Unfortunately for her, she stared too long, and he caught her staring. Quickly, she turned away.

"This used to be a lovers' beach. My mom and dad would always come here as their getaway while my brother and I made sandcastles."

"You have fond memories of this place."

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a second before he added softly, "I'm glad you're here to see it with me again."

Sakura bit her lip, not sure of what to say. So instead, she took his hand, squeezed it, and a few minutes, they watched the sun set as its warm rays slowly drifted down into the horizon.

.

.

.

Sasuke offered to carry Sakura back to the hotel on his back. Her chest was pressing against his, and he tried not to let the heat show on his face, but thanked Kami it was already dark out. His legs were keeping her thighs up and she rested her head on his shoulder, soft snores escaping her lips.

"You feeling better?" he asked Naruto, slightly guilty that he had hurt his friend.

"After he was done puking, he felt fine and went to go make sandcastles," Sai noted as Naruto grinned, obviously not bothered by their previous encounter.

"I made a big one!"

Sasuke shook his head and smirked.

He could see Naruto darting his head from Sakura back to him, and he did that several times before he quietly asked, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"I guess."

"But you've got to promise you won't tell anybody. Because if _she_—" he pointed to Sakura, "finds out, she'll kill us."

"Then obviously, I'll tell her." He smirked again.

Naruto frowned. "This is serious. It involves you, too."

Sasuke stopped in his tracks, holding onto Sakura so she wouldn't fall off from his sudden halt.

"So promise?"

Making sure Sakura was still asleep, he said, "Yeah."

Naruto said quietly as they continued walking, "She really likes you, you know. I mean, I know it doesn't seem like it, but I swear, she acts like a little girl when you're not with us."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"She likes you a lot," Sai added. "Honestly, ask yourself this: in all honestly, do you think she would have been friends with Naruto if she didn't know that you and him are best friends?"

Sasuke was silent.

"Plus, whenever you're not here, she always asks us questions about you, like if you're dating anyone or if you like someone or even what kind of deodorant you use. It's ridiculous."

Through the darkness, Sasuke could see Naruto's face fall, even though he knew it was the sad truth.

But Sasuke needed clarification. Just once more. Then, he'd never force pain out of his friends again.

"So she likes me?"

"She's in _love _with you."

Sasuke looked behind him to see the sleeping girl resting on his shoulders, her breaths steady and her lips pink. He wanted so much to wake her up and kiss her right there and then, but thought otherwise.

"I can see the hotel from here," he said, picking up his pace. He looked behind him to see Naruto and Sai trailing behind him.

"Hurry up," he smirked, watching their faces light up again even through the dark sky. "You don't want to miss dinner, don't you?"

.

**the next day**

.

"I can't believe we have to leave already," Sakura whined as she sat on her bag in the lobby, wrapping her thin sweater around her. "It was so fun."

"Yeah, we should definitely go again by ourselves next year—right, teme?" Naruto said, nudging Sasuke's torso. "Just like old times with the fam!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and Sai grinned.

"Someone didn't sleep well last night."

"Yeah, because Naruto snores like a fucking pig."

Sakura giggled, which caused Sasuke to turn towards her direction.

He saw her blush.

"Wait," she said, stepping off her suitcase to unzip it. "We should take a group photo together."

"Really, Sakura-chan? I hate photos!" Naruto whined. "I'm either blinking or I look awful in them!"

She smiled. "You don't look awful. Sai, tell him he doesn't look awful."

"You look like shit," Sai noted. Sakura smiled, setting up the camera stand and the camera, setting the timer for a countdown from ten.

Then, she ran over to the group, telling everyone to stand well and act happy and say "Cheese!" once the flash came.

The timer was at four seconds. Everyone was standing still, waiting for the flash to go off. Their peace signs were in Sasuke's face, but he didn't mind, especially since it was Sakura's hand in front of him, and her body next to his.

The timer was then at two seconds. Before anybody knew it—before the camera even knew it—he took her face in his hands and kissed her hard.

_FLASH!_

The camera went off just as their lips parted. Sakura stared at him with an open mouth, her lips still wet from his kiss, before Naruto and Sai looked to see what just happened.

Sasuke's hands were still on her face, but instead of pushing him away, she pulled herself closer to him and tugged at his hair with her hands, her lips frantically meeting his, tasting him wholly, tasting the warm sun on his mouth and the saltiness of the ocean on his tongue and felt the sweat drip down his neck…

"You know, Sakura-san," Tenten said, walking towards them with Neji, hand-in-hand. "I wouldn't mind taking a picture of you two right now. That is, if you'd want one."

With her arms still snaked around Sasuke's neck, she looked up at him and saw the familiar smirk she was so used to seeing before, especially in the last day they were together.

"We'd love it," Sasuke said, answering for her. "Just make sure to tear us apart once it's time to go."

"You guys disgust me," Naruto said, sticking his tongue out at them. "Really, you're nasty. Plus, we're in a hotel for three days and you don't bother to do anything hot until _after _we leave? Are you serious?" he shook his head. "Terrible planning on your part. Anyway, I'll—I mean, _Sai_—will take your bags and meet you on the bus."

Sakura nodded before turning back to Tenten, who had the camera ready in her hands.

"Okay, ready? One, two…hey, wait! I haven't even started and you're already—_oh_. That's hot."

She turned to Neji angrily. "How come _you _don't kiss me like that?"

"Trouble in paradise, Hyuuga," Sasuke muttered under his breath with a smirk as he pulled Sakura closer to him. He then pulled apart for breath and ran a hand through her hair.

"We should go soon," he said. "They'll leave without us."

Breathless, Sakura agreed. She took the hand he offered her and they walked out the hotel together, the sunrise glowing nicely on them.

Sasuke looked at Sakura, rays of light beaming on her head.

She looked like an angel.

* * *

**omfg i haven't written in so long. FORGIVE ME FORGIVE ME FORGIVE ME. **

**i ahve a good excuse because i was on vacation for two weeks back in asia and had lots of fun! also, about this prompt; i didn't really focus on the prompt too much and it just seemed like more of a beach story, but idk, it was longer than most of the other stuff i've written, so i hope you guys like it. and you can tell me how much you like it (or hate it/me) THROUGH A REVIEW**

**that would be lovely-sauce.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS I LOVE YOU I'M SO SORRY FOR MY LATENESS FORGIVE ME IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF SASUSAKU **

**NO JUST KIDDING BUT SERIOUSLY**

**REVIEW**


	67. Jump! Jump! Jump!

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-seven. sakura's pov.  
******FML o67: **Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sasuke and I showed his dad a picture of where we want our wedding to be. It's a gorgeous building that overlooks the ocean. Fugaku stared at me straight-on and said, "Looks like a great place to kill yourself." FML.

* * *

**.o67.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**J**_u_m**p**_! _J**u**_m_p**! **_J_u**m**_p_!

_._

I love it when he holds me against him with his arms around my waist, bringing me closer to his body.

And I _really_ love it when there are no clothes between us, and the shower is spraying all over our bodies as my back is pressed up against the could tile wall as his hands are securely fastened on my hips.

Sasuke's lips are on my neck right now, biting the tender skin sweetly, but I know that it's going to leave a mark, and I can already imagine how much makeup I'm going to have to put all over my skin to make it look like I'm still a virgin.

I moan deeply as he thrusts himself hard into me. Yup, nowhere _near _a virgin.

Doesn't matter. I have my legs around his waist and my hands are clenching fistfuls of his dark, wet hair. He continues to pound into me with such ferocity that I think I'm going to split in half.

But he's gentle and loving and caring at the same time, and he lifts his face to look into my lustful eyes before taking my lips towards his own. Although his movements are still rough, his kisses are soft yet passionate, and I know—I absolutely know—that he loves me.

Sasuke pulls away for air in this wet shower before looking at me again, his lips curled up into a half-smirk, half-smile. Then, he leans close—so close, that I can feel his hot breath against my earlobe.

"I love you," he murmurs, almost inaudible because of the raging stream of water descending from the shower. "Always have." He plunges into my wetness again before I feel something other than hot bursts of water spray my body.

"Always will," he finishes, and I feel him release himself in my warmth before he slowly and teasingly pulls out, his manhood still slightly erect. Sasuke helps me down, and I can barely feel my back or my ability to use my legs after what we just did.

As I try to move, I fall, but he catches me just before I hit the wet ground. Turning off the shower, he lifts me up under my knees and back, toweling me off before himself.

"You treat me like a princess," I say, looking at the cloudy mirror in the bathroom. I count the number of hickeys in my reflection.

"Twelve! You gave me _twelve _hickeys this morning? Sasuke-kun!" I cried, begging for him to put me down. "I have to meet your parents today about the wedding!"

"Hn?" he sits down on the toilet seat and I'm on top of his lap. Although I try to escape, I can only struggle, since one hand is wrapped securely around my waist and the other is playing with the curls below my waistline. "Wedding?"

"I take his hands off me and put them in his face. He notes the ring again with fake surprise and smirks.

"When did that get there, Sa-ku-_ra_?"

"I hate you." I'm a little chilly, so I reach for the towel to wrap my body before he takes note of the fact that the cold air has caused my breasts to perk up.

"Mm." He pulls me back onto his lap, and I feel his length poke me from under my ass.

"Sasuke-_kun,_" I whine. "We just did—"

He rests his chin on my shoulder and pinches my hard nipples softly. "Doesn't mean we can't do it again. At least, if you're up for it." Then he gives that awful smirk that just makes me want to jump him, and—

"Okay." I settle myself so that I'm comfortable on his lap. "You win. _Again_. But after this—aah, Sasuke-kun…"

I don't think he heard me, considering he's gently biting my nipple and licking it with that sinful tongue of his, and I can't help but love him a little more each second. Not just for the sex, but for—

I can't finish my thoughts. My head cranes back and my body arches forward, giving him more access to my chest, and I'm enveloped in ecstasy.

Before Sasuke, I never really knew what it was like to be happy. Sure, I had boyfriends, and I got to second base with them, but with Sasuke-kun, it was different. I changed. He changed.

I know this sounds cheesy and such, but to be honest, I can't really think much due to the fact that I'm riding him hard and that I really can't think straight when there's so much sex in the air.

So, you know, we'll save that for when we get to his parents' house.

…_If _we get to his parents' house.

.

.

.

Mikoto loves me. There's no doubt about it. In fact, I wouldn't even try to doubt it, because it's a plain and simple fact. She wants me to marry her son, and the sooner, the better.

So after I applied makeup from my neck to the top of my breasts (I didn't bother on the lower half, because who else is gonna see it except for Sasuke?), and I made sure I didn't wear anything to revealing so as to turn my fiancé on again, I was ready to approach my future parent-in-laws' house.

Sasuke held my hand the whole time we got there, and as we knocked on the door, he gave me a reassuring kiss.

"We'll be fine. My mom already likes you. Half the problem solved already. Just tell them whatever it is you need to tell them about the venue, and then I'll take you home and demolish you on the bed."

I stared at him, open-mouth, watching him smirk sinfully as I tried to ignore his teasing comments.

"Sakura-chan!" Mikoto flung open the door, nearly hitting her son in the face, and took me into her arms. "You've gotten so much more mature the last time I saw you! Please, come in!" she yelled at the emptiness upstairs. "Fugaku! Sakura and Sasuke are here!"

I gulped as I heard the heavy footsteps of Sasuke's dad—and my future father-in-law—echo throughout the room. He looked serious and scary, and I felt Sasuke's reassuring hand rest on my waist while my fingers dug into my palms.

"Hello, Uchiha-san," I bowed respectfully. I hoped that would earn some brownie points with me and him, but instead, he said in a gruff voice, "Stand up."

Quickly, I rose, my face flushed. Sasuke still had his hand on me, but his face was just as stoic as his dad's.

"You, Sakura-san, do not need to do these formalities. You will be a part of the family soon. Although I do require some respect, we are not living in the old times. Now get up. Are you a dog?"

Fugaku said it in such a rough and harsh tone that I felt frightened and terrified. My body was shaking, and Sasuke actually had to pull me closer to him to prevent me from melting all over the floor in a puddle of fear.

"Are you coming or what?" Fugaku asked. "Don't we need to talk about the wedding venue? Isn't that why you came here?" He shook his head and looked more at Sasuke than me. It was a disapproving look that Sasuke would always tell me about. The look that he gave to Sasuke when Sasuke was a kid. It was the "why can't you be more like your brother?" look.

Except this time, it was more of a "why couldn't you have picked someone better?"

Despite my fear, I tried to look straight in Fugaku's eyes. I would have to face my fears, even if it mean crying all over the kitchen table and stabbing myself in the heart with a knife.

Papa Uchiha had dark eyes the color of coal. They looked like coal too. It didn't have the shine or the spark that Sasuke's onyx eyes had, and they definitely didn't shine with warmth when they looked at me.

Sasuke took a seat next to me. He held my hand under the table, but I turned my eyes to look at him, and he remained calm and collected.

"So," Fugaku began. Mikoto decided that it was a conversation made for just us three, so after she made us some hot tea, she decided to leave. "You two are getting married."

I would have made a snarky comment, had it not been the man I was trying to impress.

"Yes, sir."

Fugaku raised an eyebrow, but lowered it as quickly as it came up.

"Why did you decide to choose this place?"

"Well, Fuga—" I paused, not knowing if it was okay to call him by his first name. He looked at me, his expression not changing, so I continued. "—ku-san. Sasuke-kun and I really both love the ocean, and we want to get married in the summer, so it will be beautiful out, and the weather will be perfect, and it'll just be a fairytale wedding. Surely you and your wife had something like that a few years ago, right?"

As soon as I said the last sentence, I put my mouth to my hand, as if that could take the words back. However, he seemed unfazed. He didn't yell at me, nor did he say that I was right. Instead, he continued on with the conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Sasuke? Did you have any say in it?"

I turned to my fiancé to see what he would put in. But we both knew that this was a conversation between me and his dad, and that he was only there to verify what I said.

"Summer is a wonderful time to get married. It's also near my birthday. So we will have the wedding, and then my birthday, and then our honeymoon. It's paradise, dad." I saw the way his lips wanted to twitch upwards, especially when he talked about the honeymoon. Wedding night was one thing, and birthday sex was another, but two weeks of constant lovemaking as newlyweds? I knew he couldn't wait.

"I agree," Fugaku said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Summer is good." He looked at Sasuke. "Your mother and I got married in the summer."

"Did you?" I asked, only to realize it probably wasn't appropriate to jump into the middle of their conversation.

But Fugaku didn't say anything. He then turned to me and folded his hands.

"Do you have any pictures of the setting?"

"Yes!" I said, almost too excitedly. I bumped the table with my elbow when I tried to release my hand from Sasuke's. Trying to hold back a curse, I leaned over to get my bag and show him the pictures of the place where we would have our dream wedding. That is, if Fugaku would just say yes and let it be.

I struggled to unlock my phone due to shaking nerves when Sasuke pulled it from me and put the number in. The passcode was the date of our wedding: 072013. Three days before Sasuke's birthday.

Sasuke handed the phone back to me without changing his facial expression at all. Honestly, I felt Fugaku judge me so much for having Sasuke do such trivial things for me.

"Here." I pulled up the picture on my phone and gave it to him. "Doesn't it look great? And it's not even a commercial advertisement photo. This is one I actually took from my phone."

Fugaku squinted his coal black eyes real tight, then opened them up again. His vision went from left to right; up and down. Finally, he handed me back the phone and said to both of us directly (and I quote):

"Looks like a good place to kill yourself."

Now, I'm not sure how big my jaw dropped, but judging from what Sasuke told me later, it was big enough to fit three of him (that is, if you know what I mean).

However, at the time I was shocked. I wasn't expecting my future and possibly not even father-in-law to say something like that. Although I really shouldn't have been surprised. I was just probably caught off-guard.

"To kill myself?" I repeated, stuttering.

He nodded without batting an eye. "Great place for suicide."

That's it. I'm done.

Fucking done with this family.

However, not done fucking their son.

Still: FML.

.

.

.

"…_Excuse _me?" I repeated. I don't know what came over me all of a sudden. All I felt was anger and frustration and I absolutely _refused _to be the person who was trying to impress someone else. I was better than that.

I felt myself stand up abruptly from the table. Sasuke's facial expression finally changed into one of astonishment and shock. However, Fugaku's did not, even when I stared him down straight in the eye.

"Listen, you." I pointed at him with a menacing finger. I had no idea what had gotten into. No longer was I being formal at all, but here I was basically threatening the guy who would be my future dad. "You may be my fiancé's dad, you may be my future mother-in-law's wife, and you _may _be my father-in-law, but that gives you _no right _to push me around like this. All of today I have been trying to find out what ways I could change myself to please you by being someone who I'm not. And it's fucking annoying. I'm not a subservient person. I want to stand up for what I fucking want and believe in, and trust me, if your opinion didn't matter so much to either me or Sasuke-kun, then I'd tell you to fuck off."

Watching him take in what I just said, I breathed heavily and turned to Sasuke.

"Come on, Sasuke-kun. We're going." I took his hand and pulled him away from the chair.

"Sakura—" he said, trying to talk some sense into me as Mikoto popped in from the next door to see what all the ruckus was about.

"We're going to be married, whether or not your dad approves. If it means having to elope or shit, then we'll do it, if it's okay with you too." I didn't even bother to look back at what his parents were thinking. Probably that I was crazy and that I should get the fuck away from the family.

"Hn." I heard someone other than Sasuke chuckle. It was a deep, throaty sound, as if he hadn't chuckled in a million years.

I turned around.

Fugaku was smirking, his lips curling up in the same way Sasuke's did whenever he teased me. Soon, the chuckling turned into laughter, and after the laughter, it escalated into…almost _guffawing_.

I turned to Sasuke, wondering what on earth was going on. But he had the exact same mindset as I did. Mikoto started to laugh, too, but soon, the laughter stopped.

"Aa." He stood up out of his chair and walked towards us. Immediately, I felt fear envelop my body.

"Sakura-san." His voice was deep, and suddenly…melodic. "You have misunderstood me when I said it was a good place for taking a life. I didn't mean you, in particular." His lips curled up again, and I realized that he was just speaking generally and not directly at me. "I just meant that if a person would like to jump off the edge and into the ocean, they could do so."

Sasuke was loosening up beside me, but I kept my guard up. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why are you treating me so nicely when I just told you off?"

"Because," he said. His coal eyes started to lighten. "You reminded me of _my _wife." He turned his head to Mikoto, and actually _winked _at her before turning back to me. "She was always spunky. A spitfire, that one. And at one time, she had to try and impress my mother. So she decided to act differently than what she was. Yes, she was quiet and polite and nice, but it wasn't her. I could see how uncomfortable she was in that situation, and I understood. Now, you, on the other hand," he said.

Sasuke took my hand in his and squeezed it subtly.

"When I saw you today bowing to me, I thought, _Is this really the girl Sasuke wants to marry? The one that will listen to him always and not stand up for herself? He had always told me that she was independent and better than being a submissive woman. I thought she was made of fire. Maybe not._" But he looked at me again, his coal eyes now the color of Sasuke's own obsidian ones. "Now I can see that you are the girl that he will marry on the 20th of July near the ocean, despite it being slightly tragic in a different perspective."

My brain was jumbled. I couldn't comprehend anything he was saying anymore. I began to stutter.

"W-What are you—"

Instead of answering me, he walked over to Sasuke and put his arm around him, bringing his second son close to him.

"I'm proud of you," he said. "And I approve."

As Fugaku pulled away, he took me into his arms too. Briefly, but still long enough for me to realize what was going on.

"You're a good woman, Sakura-san." He pulled apart and looked me straight in the eye. "And I'm proud to welcome you into our family as our new daughter."

I didn't know what to say. Sasuke-kun said that I was laughing and crying and basically choking on tears while hugging Fugaku and screaming incoherent words. There was something about the ocean, and safe sex, and fences so that no one would jump off, and maybe even security guards, but I don't remember exactly. All I knew was that I was happy; genuinely happy.

Next thing I knew, I was being pulled off by Sasuke, who said quickly that we had to go. I was still sobbing as he carried me out of his house and into the car, where he dumped me onto the backseat and climbed on top of me.

I stopped crying for a second to wonder what was going on.

"I can't take it anymore," he muttered. I looked at his crotch, which was bulging and large, ready to come out at any second. "Your personality, your feistiness, your laughter…it all makes me love you even more." He kissed me roughly before I could say anything, and I put my arms around his neck, kissing him back with equal (if not more) force. I wrapped my legs around him and felt him move my skirt and panties aside with his fingers before using them to plunge into my wetness.

"Nn," I moaned softly. "People—people might be able to see us—"

"The windows are tinted for a reason," he whispered hoarsely, unbuckling his belt with frantic hands. "Another reason why I love this car so much."

I sighed, not knowing if it was because I should have known he was always horny, or because he just gave me another reason to love him.

His cock rose up high, and I took it gently into my hands before leading him to me. Backseats were cramped, and there was only so much time to do things, so we made it fast and simple. Easy as that.

By the time we were done and all cleaned up, our hair amuck, clothes unbuttoned wrongly, and my underwear in his pocket, we drove home. And the second I put the key into the lock, I felt his hands behind me on my breasts, his fingers creeping up under my shirt to push my cups away.

My knees started to wobble, but his firm grip on me—or rather, my chest—helped me maintain my balance.

"Sasuke-kun!" I squealed. "We just did—"

"I promised you that I'd demolish you on the bed," he smirked. "I'm just fulfilling that promise." He turned me around and wrapped my legs around him so that I could feel his hardness once again penetrate me.

I tried to show him that he was just a horny son of a bitch by rolling my eyes, but I couldn't think through all that pleasure. So I just let him have his way with me. I didn't mind, after all.

Life is good.

.

**july 20th**

.

Vows were said. Tears were shed. Nobody tried to jump off a cliff and into the watery depths of the oceanic coffin, thank goodness.

Sasuke and I were beginning to cut the cake as I felt a hand firmly grip my shoulder. I jumped, nearly stabbing the person in the neck, but the guy managed to keep cool.

"You look stunning, Sakura-san." Fugaku smiled. Actually _smiled_.

"Oh." I was at a loss for words. "Thank you, Fugaku-san."

"Please," he said. "Call me dad."

"Okay," I said. Then I paused, before adding, "Dad."

Sasuke put his arm around me, trying not to interrupt the new father-daughter moment too much. He whispered in my ear, "Hurry up so that I can love you properly and christen our new sheets."

"What was that, Sasuke?" Fugaku asked.

I saw that devilish smirk on my new husband's face. "I said that she needs to cut the chatter and cut the cake instead. We have hungry guests waiting."

His hand reached behind me to pinch my butt, and I tried not to yelp. Instead, I turned, biting my lip and blushing as I looked over at him. He gave me a sinful smirk before taking the knife out of my hands and kissing me out of the blue.

I heard guests cheer and whine at the same time, waiting for their cake. But right now, nothing else mattered.

I'm alive. I'm happy. And best of all, I'm doing both with the man I love—and his family.

My life is fan-fucking-tastic.

* * *

**i think i stray from the prompts too much ugh**

**anyway HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME LOL**

**many thanks to rhy rhy for being the first person, because waifu, i love you! Also to Ssanderei for so many nice reviews. KEEP REVIEWING EVERYONE AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT TO ME OKAY? =D**

**i write because i love you guys and i want you to be happy. although i've been slacking a lot, i have to study really hard considering it's finals week-month. blah.**

**WISH ME LUCK AND REVIEW!**


	68. Note to Self

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-eight. sasuke's POV.  
******FML o68: **Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, I got a note from my crazy ex-girlfriend that I broke up with four years ago. She apparently still wants me back. And although my fiancee and I live nearly 200 miles away from her, the note was hand-delivered to our house. FML

* * *

**.o68.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**N**_o_t**e **_t_o **S**_e_l**f**

_._

_"I love you, Sasuke-kun," she told me as she rested her head on my shoulder. "I hope you know that."_

_I swallowed, trying to erase the smell of her perfume that wafted into my nostrils. I didn't know how to break it to her nicely. She was a good girl, but I didn't love her, and I didn't want to lead her on into a relationship that would make us both unhappy._

_"Hn." _

_Karin looked up at me through her glasses and adjusted them with her middle finger. "Well?" she said. "Aren't you going to tell me that you love me too?"_

_I turned to face her directly, trying not to look at her blood-red eyes._

_"Listen, Karin. You're a nice girl. But I don't think that this—I mean, us—can work out. We're two totally different people. You're fiery…" I began, but realized that was probably the wrong word for a girl whose temper could increase to twenty stories and whose hair was the color of my blood._

_"Fiery passionate. That's what I meant," I said quickly, trying not to anger her. I saw the blaze light in her eyes, and she began to snarl. "And I just think that maybe we should see other people."_

_"Are you…are you breaking _up_ with me?" she growled, her voice throaty and deep._

_I didn't know how else I could put it. I sighed. "Yes, Karin. I'm breaking up with you."_

_Suddenly, her hands lunged for my throat and I felt pressure on my Adam's apple. I struggled to pry her off, but she straddled me onto the ground, her hands tightening. I could barely breathe._

_"What are you—" I choked out. "Stop!"_

_"Not until you tell me you love me and that we'll be together forever!"_

_"Are you serious? You're fucking crazy!" I shouted, ready to feel my lungs collapse. "Get off me!"_

_I managed to pull her off and push her away from me, struggling to regain my breath. I rubbed my throat and looked at her. She still had the devil's eyes as she panted heavily, her red hair amuck._

_"Get away from me!" she shouted before I could say the same. "I don't _ever _want to see you again. You're dead to me!"_

_I opened my mouth to try and respond, but no words would come out. My throat was useless right now. _

_"Good," I mouthed, hoping she'd see. _

_She did._

_I can't remember anything past that._

.

.

.

"Sasuke-kun, are you alright?" my current girlfriend, Sakura, asked me as she shook my bare shoulder. I was sweating when I opened my eyes, and she draped an extra blanket on top of me.

"You were shaking and muttering some things under your breath," she said. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I never get nightmares. Unless, of course, we count Karin as a nightmare in it of itself. Then yes.

"I'm fine."

Sakura paused, her hand resting on my cheek. "Was it about Karin?"

Ever since Sakura and I had been together, three months after my breakup with Karin that was four years ago, I told her all about Karin. And I know current girlfriends don't like hearing about ex-girlfriends, but she was incredibly understanding with me, and I love her even more for that.

"Hn."

She turned me over on my back and rested her head on my chest. "You don't need to hide your feelings, you know," Sakura said. "So please, tell me what's going on."

"Nothing's happening. Nothing _will _happen. I'm with you, now. And I'm very happy." I stroked her hair and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Happy with you."

She giggled. "You're too sweet." Then, she jumped off the bed and onto the floor to search for her strewn clothes that were tossed around the room last night.

As she was bending over to pick up her clothes, I propped myself up on my forearm to get a better look and smirked.

"I know you're looking," she said. "It's making me very uncomfortable."

I looked down at my lap under the blanket.

"It's making me uncomfortable, too. Now come here, babe."

I reached for her wrist and pulled her on top of me, hoping she could feel how uncomfortable I really was.

Sakura sighed. "You're ridiculous."

I smirked. "Good."

.

.

.

She was strutting around in the kitchen making brunch for me when I looked down at the empty table in front of me. I didn't know what to do. Should I pop the question now and spend the rest of the day having great engagement sex, or pop the question at night over a romantic setting and have awesome engagement sex? Hm.

I thought about that for a while until I smelled tomatoes and eggs slide under my chin.

"Here you go," she said, chipper. "Just the way you like it."

She sat down next to me with the same thing, and we began to eat after our "Itadakimasu" prayers. As we chewed, I mulled over the question more.

"What's on your mind, Sasuke-kun?" she asked, looking over to see if I was okay. "Is the food bad?"

"It's fine," I said. "Delicious."

"Oh. Okay."

We continued to eat until finally, I turned to her and took her hands in my own. "Will you marry me?"

First there was a pause, then some nervous laughter. "Are you…are you trying to be funny right now?"

"Look at me," I said. "Does this look like I'm trying to be funny?"

She looked at me, thinking we were playing a game, and began to giggle. Then, when she realized I wasn't changing my facial expressions, the laughing died out into an awkward pause, and she said, "Oh. You're serious."

"I've never been more serious." I didn't realize how hard I was gripping her hands until she pushed them away.

"Well," she said. Then she didn't finish.

"Well?" I asked, prodding her on.

"As long as you finish your food, we can start christening our sheets." She smiled.

I don't know what happened next. I picked her up and carried her, kissing her all over her face, and then when she begged me to put her down so that she could finish eating, I bent her over the table and hiked up her shirt.

"Sasuke-_kun_," she whined. "We eat here!"

I didn't care. "Kami, I love you so much."

Her cries of disapproval slowly turned into loud moans, and by the time we were finished a good ten minutes later, she was dragging me back into the bedroom to make use of new bed sheets.

.

.

.

It was settled the day after the proposal. We were going to get married next month, which was awfully early and on such a short notice. We sent invitations out to all of our friends, asking them to bring gifts to donate to charity instead to us, and put a notice in the newspaper.

I put my arm around Sakura and smelled her hair, taking a deep breath. "Although I'm not showing it, I consider myself to be the happiest man alive."

"I bet you do," she said, turning pages of a newly bought bridal magazine. "Wait. You can't even be here with me." She pushed me away. "Go away. I'm looking at pictures of my new dress."

"I thought it was only unlucky to see the bride in her dress _before _the actual wedding. Not pictures."

"Either way. Now scram." She shooed me away, and I rolled my eyes before going to go get the mail. I didn't expect much, except for the fact that there was a huge influx of magazines Sakura probably subscribed to for the wedding. I picked up the pile and headed back, looking to see if there were any letters or quick RSVP notices.

"Magazine…magazine…magazine…hey, what's this?"

I set the pile of mail down and looked closely at a letter. It had no return address, and the handwriting looked oddly familiar, although I didn't remember whom it was from. Perhaps it was Hinata's handwriting, and she was writing for Naruto. That must have been it.

I opened the letter and inside was a note, but no RSVP.

I began to read.

_Dearest Sasuke-kun,_

_I know it's been many years—four, to be exact—since we last parted. I'm afraid I should apologize. We haven't exactly left each other on good terms, and I want to make that up to you._

_The truth is, Sasuke-kun, I miss you. And I still love you. And I've changed, Sasuke. I really have. I think we can make this work again. My love for you still grows even from an 100 mile radius away._

_Oh, and if I see that you're with another woman I will personally rip out both your spines and eat them—_

The last part was crossed out furiously in pen, and my eyes scrolled down to look at the end.

_Love,_

_Karin_

Oh fuck. Fuck,fuck, FUCK.

I had no idea what just happened. First of all, my psycho bitch ex-girlfriend writes me up JUST as I'm getting married. And worst of all…

I looked at the letter and noted the fact that _there was no stamp_.

"This was hand-delivered," I said to myself. "She knows where I live."

"A hand-delivered RSVP note? How sweet!" Sakura said, peeking over my shoulder. "I wonder why someone would go to the trouble of just hand-delivering it rather than giving to us. Maybe we weren't home."

"Yeah," I said, quickly stuffing the note back into the envelope. "How _sweet_."

.

.

.

There were only two weeks left until the wedding. Sakura was mostly with her girlfriends trying out new outfits and planning the event and the flowers and the cake and everything. I let her have full control because to be honest, I'll probably just rent a tux, I can't plan _anything_, I hate flowers, and cake is stupid. So while she was off having fun, I sat at home, my mind still stuck on the note.

_"I love you, Sasuke-kun!"_

Her voice rang through my ears, and I wanted to get it out as soon as possible. But nothing worked: my hands didn't work, earplugs, not even the sound of the sex tape Sakura and I recorded a couple years back. Although that did get me aroused somewhat…

I didn't know whether or not to tell Sakura about this, since I didn't want her to worry about anything. But first of all, Karin _knew _where we lived. So therefore, she must have had _some _idea about Sakura, and maybe possibly had the idea that we were getting married.

Of course, I don't think the big balloons that said "JUST (IN TWO WEEKS) MARRIED" that were tied to our mailbox gave anything away, but with Karin, anything was possible. When we were together, every time I went out with one of the guys it was always, "Were you cheating on me, huh? What's her name? What does she look like? _Is she prettier than me_?"

The shouting came first. The crying came later. And then the "make love to me, Sasuke-kun," came last. All three were equally unenjoyable.

I mused about that for a couple more minutes until I heard the key clicking in the front door.

"Hey!" Sakura said, carrying bags of mysterious items. "I thought you'd be asleep."

"It's two in the afternoon," I said.

"I've been gone for that long? Wow." Sakura looked at the bags slung on her arm. "So let me tell you about my day. I went for the cakes, which I think you'll absolutely _love_. It's not too sweet, but not too bland, either, so you really get the best of both worlds. I picked out some lilies for the wedding. Roses are too overrated. Plus, I was deciding on a kind of pastel-themed thing for the bridesmaids and best men? You know? Like a spring sort of thing?"

"…It's fall."

"Yes, but by the time we have the wedding, it'll be _winter_. Which is a season away from spring. Plus, it really brightens up the mood when we're in the midst of a season that's known for dying."

I shook my head. "Whatever you like, Sakura."

"Good." She sat down on my lap, throwing the bags on the floor. "So. How was your morning?" She wrapped her arms around my neck and snuggled into me. I would have kissed her, but I was so caught up in thinking about Karin that I didn't find the words to respond.

"Hello?" she asked.

I shook my head to wake myself up. "Hn. It was fine."

She pulled away from me to observe my face. "You seem off today. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I pushed her hand away. "I think I'll take a nap. I'm not feeling too well."

"Do you need me to make you something? Congee?"

"I'm alright." I lifted Sakura off my lap and headed for the bedroom, taking off my shirt and slewing it over the bedpost.

"Do you want me to join you? Because I've bought some sexy lingerie, and—"

"I'm fine, Sakura. I'm just tired." I lied. I wasn't tired at all. I just needed to think about some things.

"Okay." She looked a little bit dejected , and I felt bad for bringing her down, but at the same time, I didn't want her to get involved in this.

"Wake me up in an hour, will you?"

"Sure."

I saw her sigh before I collapsed on the bed and looked at the ceiling. Instead of Sakura's laughs, all I heard was _"I still love you."_

Kami, what's happening to the world?

.

**"HERE COMES THE BRIDE" DAY**

.

I'm a mess. I haven't been able to sleep well in nearly a month, the sex was lousy on my part, and I'm pretty sure Naruto spilled something funky on my suit.

I figured I'd have to apologize to Sakura for the lame wedding and told her that she could divorce me and we could do-over another wedding that would be better.

But we were here. She was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, ready to change into her gown. Before she did, though, she kissed my cheek and said, "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

And before I could say anything in response, she went into the dressing room. Now, I would have gone in there, because let's face it, we've seen each other naked more times than we've seen each other clothed. But I thought about her words for a second, and I wanted to tell her about Karin and the reason we had bad sex and that it wasn't her, it was _me,_ and everything.

"Sasuke," Naruto called out. "It's time."

I sighed, took a deep breath, and walked down the alley. I searched the church for any signs of psycho ex-girlfriends, but to my surprise, there were none.

"Of course not," I said to myself. "Why would there be any?"

"You say something?" Naruto said.

"Only that you're in _great_ pastel attire," I smirked sarcastically, watching Naruto observe his neon orange tie with amusement.

I waited at the altar for Sakura to come marching down in her big white dress so that I could just envision taking it all off tonight, all those layers and that teasing and everything. Nothing would stop us.

Not even the person running down the aisle with flaming red eyes and hair and—

Before any of us knew it, I was on the ground with someone's hands around my throat.

"What the—" I choked out, but I saw.

"You _bastard_!" Karin shouted. "I didn't think you were serious about getting married with…with that _girl_!"

"How did you even know?" I said, trying to conserve my breath. "First of all, how did you even find me?"

"The notification you put in the newspaper that said you and some Sakura girl are getting married. I didn't think it was you at first, but when I saw the name 'Uchiha Sasuke' I looked you up on _Howmanyofme dot com_ and saw that you were the _only Uchiha Sasuke in Japan_. And so I went to Konoha and here you are. Getting married to some bimbo."

"Karin," I said, feeling my face turn blue and watching everyone else standing over us, wondering why the hell they weren't helping me right now. "I never loved you," I choked out. "I'm sorry and I know it hurts, but I just can't accept—"

Suddenly, I felt my throat loosening up, and Karin being pulled off me by my fiancée. She still looked beautiful in that white dress of hers, and the next thing I knew, Sakura slapped Karin across the face once and said, "Leave him alone."

And, just as I expected, Karin went into a rage.

"Leave him alone? Are you serious? Leave _us_ alone, pinky!" Karin pointed at herself and me. "We were together first! We made love before you two ever did. We laughed together. We cried together. We had so many good times!"

"Actually, if I could have a say, it was just you laughing and crying," I noted, propping myself up. "I was pretty emotionless the whole time."

"Shut up!" she said, yelling at me.

"Look," Sakura said, trying to calm her down. "I know that you and Sasuke-kun may have had some good times together, whether they were good in his opinion or yours. But you need to let go. He's moved on. I think you should too."

I expected Karin to lash out at Sakura, but instead, she began to cry.

"You're right," she sobbed. "And I never wanted him to leave. I just wanted him back. I love him."

"I'm sorry," Sakura said.

"You are?" Karin asked through her tears.

"Not really, but I don't want to seem like an asshole," Sakura said. "Also, could you save this talk with my fiancé 'til after we're married? These people came to see a wedding, not a fight."

And there she was again. Mad, bad Karin with hair like fire.

"I don't need you," she shouted at Sakura. Then she turned to me. "And I certainly don't need _you_!"

Before any of us knew it, she stomped off down the alley, opening the double doors out of the church, and disappeared.

"So," Sakura said, helping me up from the ground. "Karin. You seem to have known about this for a while."

"I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd get upset—"

"When have I ever gotten upset at you for telling me the truth?" she asked. "You shouldn't have held it in for so long. You were so stressed this past month. The letter," she said. "It was from her, right?"

"I didn't want to hurt you," I said. "Can you forgive me?"

She sighed. "One time. But no more secrets. Okay?"

"Aa."

She helped me up off the ground and held my hand. Everyone went back to their seats, and the priest continued with his vows as if nothing had happened.

I felt her squeeze my hand softly and turned to her. She winked. I smirked.

And I kissed her, right there in front of everyone. Without any permission.

_Yes_.

.

**that night**

.

"I dunno, I'm still kind of mad at you for not telling me about Karin," Sakura said, removing her veil from her head and shaking out her hair. "I don't know if I can forgive you."

I came up behind her and pressed myself against her back, my hands wrapped around her waist.

"Nn?"

"No."

I kissed her neck. "Mm."

"Stop," she whined. "You're making me want to stop being mean, teasing Sakura."

"I like the nice Sakura better." I pulled down her zipper and helped her out of the dress, watching it fall to the floor.

"And I like the Sasuke with the pastel green tie more, too," she said as she began to unknot it.

She pushed me onto the mattress and straddled me, reaching for a collar and a leash.

"What are you—"

"You said no more secrets, right? Well…I want to put this around your neck, so that everybody knows you're _mine_. Plus, I can choke you, too." she smirked.

"Are you being serious right now?

"Of course not." She threw the items across the room and kissed me before pulling away, sniffing the air.

"You smell like cake."

"It was actually very good cake. Not too sweet, nor bland."

"I know."

"Come here."

I flipped her over so that I was on top, and I put the blankets over us and dimmed the lights to make the ambiance seem even more romantic.

We were married, and that was that. Nothing more to it. No ex-girlfriends blazing through the doors trying to separate us. That was it.

And we were happy.

Also, a note to self: _no more choking games in bed_.

* * *

**Okay guys Naruto 631-632 SAKURA CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OMFG SO AMAZING  
**

**TO ALL THE HATERS WHO SAID SAKURA WAS WEAK? YOU CAN GO READ THE CHAPTER AND RE-EVALUATE YOUR LIFE DECISIONS**

**YEAH BABY**

**review please! also sorry about Karin bashing. she's alright when she's not crazy about Sasuke and stuff...**


	69. Her?

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble sixty-nine. third person.  
******FML o69: **Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Mikoto barged into Uchiha Corp. to cry to Sasuke about ruining the family reputation since he got "a girl" pregnant. However, he'd been married to the "girl" for five years. FML.

* * *

**.o69.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**H**_e_r**?**

_._

The last thing Sasuke ever expected to happen at 9:38 in the morning on a Thursday afternoon was having his mother run in frantically, her arms akimbo and crying nonsense at the same time.

To make matters worse, it was during a staff meeting.

"Sa-Sasuke-kun, I heard—I can't believe—how could you do this to me? To _us_? To the family?"

He shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

"_Her_! That girl! The one with the pink hair that you're always with. She's _pregnant_, with _your _baby!"

The rest of the staff paused, their eyes focused on Sasuke. But Sasuke seemed unfazed, his blank gaze staring back into his mother's worried one.

"I know she is," Sasuke said. "She told me."

"But her—Sasuke-kun, you've ruined the family's reputation. How—how can you even live with yourself? You've absolutely shamed us!"

Sasuke took a look at the staff, whose whispers echoed throughout the room. "Five minute break," he said to them, watching as they all got up and left, their whispers continuing down the hall. Sasuke then sat down at his desk, his arms folded.

"Now, mother. What is bothering you, exactly?"

"Pregnant! A girl! You're not even married—what will this do to the family name? I just can't bear to think of—"

"Calm down." Sasuke walked over to his panicked mother and rubbed her back. "First of all, are you being serious with me or not?"

"Do I look serious to you?" she asked, pointing to her tear-stricken face.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "That _girl_ is my wife. Sakura. You've met her at least fifty times."

Mikoto's blank face still showed no sign of recognition, and Sasuke began to lose patience.

"We've been married for over five years. You helped her put on her wedding dress."

"I still don't remember," Mikoto said. "You were married?"

Sasuke sighed, turning away from his mother. "The point is, she's my wife, and I love her dearly. We think it's time for a family. Surely you can understand _that_."

Mikoto paused for another second. "I have a daughter-in-law? I don't understand. When did this happen?"

"Five years ago."

"I'm so confused," Mikoto said. She put her hand to her head to check for any fevers. "We'll talk about this at home. Oh wait, you don't live at home anymore. You probably live with_ that girl_."

She left, and Sasuke looked at the empty desk where his staff had been driven away. Perhaps it was time to take a sick day today.

.

.

.

"Hi, honey," Sakura said gleefully, taking her husband's face and kissing him sweetly. "You're home early."

"I thought I'd take a sick day. Lots of stuff has been going on at the office, and I just wanted a day to relax." He looked down at his pregnant wife's belly, a small bump starting to show. Crouching down so that he was eyelevel with her stomach, he lifted up her shirt and rubbed it, planting small kisses all along her stomach.

"Stop!" she laughed. "That's ticklish!"

His lips paused before he turned his ear to her skin. "I think I can hear him."

"Can you, now?" she teased, before bringing his head to her breast. "Can you hear me?"

Sasuke heard the small _thump, thump, thump_ of her heartbeat and looked up at her. "I can hear you."

He pulled up her bra and planted kisses around her breast before taking her nipple into his mouth.

"Aa," she moaned softly, holding his head close to her. "Sasuke-kun."

He then took her legs and wrapped them around his waist as she grabbed onto the back of his suit to keep steady. Sasuke's teeth grazed the bud and she let out a small cry before he began to suck hard.

"Let me love you," he murmured through her breast as he attempted to carry her upstairs without hurting either of them. "Let me show you how much I need you."

Sakura was too dizzy from pleasure to respond. He carried her upstairs to their bedroom where he skillfully plopped her down onto the mattress before making himself comfortable on top of her.

With her hair strewn all over the bed and her shirt hiked up to her neck, Sasuke stared at her pregnant belly and told her, "You have never been more beautiful to me than you are right now."

He saw her blush and quickly look away before he bent down and kissed her forehead, his hot arousal pressing against her stomach.

"I love you," she sighed. "You treat me like a queen."

He slid down her skirt and panties and tossed them aside before she helped him undo his belt and unzip his pants.

"A king must treat his queen well." He positioned himself over her, making sure she wasn't in any pain before he entered her warmth slowly, placing her legs on top of his shoulders.

Sasuke heard the familiar sweet sound of Sakura's moans, and began to pound into her faster, watching as her breasts moved rhythmically with every thrust.

"Keep going," she moaned, gripping hard on the bedspreads.

He gripped her hips hard, leaving small imprints of his fingernails in her skin, and clenched his teeth, groaning heavily.

"Wait," she said. "Be careful—the baby—"

He slowly slid out of her before taking her into his arms and setting her down on his lap, his eyes eye lever with her breasts.

"Put your arms around my neck," he said. "And hold onto me."

She did as she was told, and he moved her up and down on his length, his mouth taking one of her breasts and sucking roughly as she arched her neck back.

"Don't be too rough," she breathed out. "You have to—aah!—think of the…baby…"

He removed his mouth from her nipple and put his lips on her belly while still buried in her. Slowly and tenderly, he kissed a circle around her bellybutton and put his hand over her stomach.

"He'll be fine," Sasuke promised. "In fact, I think he likes this just as much as his mommy."

Sakura slapped him playfully. "You pervert!"

He smirked, before taking her mouth in his own and slamming into her, his movements harsh yet loving, and Sakura felt a wave of pleasure come over her when she finally let herself go over him.

Sasuke left her, his length covered in her sweet juices, and he pushed her back onto the bed while looming over her, trying to keep himself up on his forearms.

"You're wonderful," he whispered hoarsely, cupping her cheek. "How did I end up with someone like you?"

She took him into her arms and kissed him softly. "I'm glad you found me."

.

.

.

After they got dressed and Sakura made a small meal for Sasuke, she sat down at the table with him and he told her the reason why he decided to stay home.

"Your mother doesn't remember me? How? She put on my wedding dress," Sakura said. Sasuke listened intently at the tone of his wife's voice. She didn't sound angry or frustrated, but it was more of a confused bewilderment.

"That's what I told her," Sasuke said. "And she's upset because she seems to think that I've 'tarnished' the family name by having a child with you." His eyes trailed down to her stomach. "But Sakura, even if we weren't married, I'd still give up the family name just to make a baby with you." He held her hands in his own, placing his chopsticks down.

She gave him a small smile. "You're too sweet. But honestly, Sasuke-kun, shouldn't we talk to her about this? I mean, I know you kind of did already, but I think that I should be there, too."

"I don't want you getting involved in this and hurting the ba—"

"You think too little of me! I'm capable of doing things by myself, you know. I'm a big girl," Sakura pouted. "I know you're just trying to protect me, but really, I can protect myself. I promise."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're playing with fire."

"I can handle her. The problem is, if you could handle me, how come you can't handle your own mother?"

Sakura watched as her husband froze slightly, and she laughed playfully. "Stop it. Come on. Finish your food and then we'll go over."

.

.

.

Mikoto was generally a good woman. However, she did have a temper at times. Nothing like her friend Kushina, but there was still a temper.

Sasuke and Sakura went to his parents' door and knocked. Fugaku opened it, his face brightening up when he saw Sakura.

"Sakura-san." He leaned over and gave her a small hug before his eyes averted towards her belly. "He's gotten bigger the last time I've seen him."

Sakura giggled. "Yes. But he was only a few weeks old when you last saw, so there was really no change."

Fugaku put a hand on Sakura's shoulder and led her in. "Sit down and rest. I'll get you some tea."

Sasuke helped Sakura to the couch but whispered, "So my dad knew but my mom didn't? What the—"

"Here." Fugaku handed his daughter-in-law and his son hot beverages. "Be careful."

Sakura whispered back, "I think you dad likes me more because he doesn't see me as a threat to take away his son."

"My mother likes you plenty!"

"Mm." Sakura took a small sip of the tea and looked at Fugaku with approval in her eyes. He gave her a small smile before telling them, "I'm going to call my wife. Mikoto!" Fugaku went upstairs to find his wife.

Sasuke heard his mother's echo and held on to Sakura's hand for comfort.

Mikoto raced down, her hair damp, and she saw both Sasuke and Sakura.

"So," she began, wary. "Sasuke-kun. This is your wife?"

"Yes."

Mikoto's eyes traveled to Sakura's stomach. "And you're pregnant, neh?" she asked Sakura.

"Three months."

"Aa."

Mikoto then moved closer to the two and noticed that neither of them wore any rings.

"Are you really married? You don't have any rings on," she said, addressing the two of them.

"Mom, you know that wearing a ring interferes with my daily work. But I don't need a ring to show how much I love my wife."

She raised an eyebrow before turning to her daughter. "And you?"

"I had to stop wearing it once my hands got bigger with the baby," she said. "But once he comes out, then I'll put it right back on."

"Hm."

"You were _there_. At the wedding. You were crying and throwing rice at us while we walked down the aisle."

"I don't remember," Mikoto said defiantly.

"You're just upset because we've 'ruined' the family name." Sasuke stood up, meeting his mother's gaze eye-to-eye.

"How do I know if you're even married to her? For all I know, you could still be dating!"

Sasuke shook his head in disgust. "You're impossible." He called out, "Tou-san! Come down here!"

Soon, Sakura's father-in-law came down, watching as the three tried to break the tension in the room.

"Hn?"

"Fugaku-san, surely you remember Sasuke and I getting married, right?" Sakura asked.

"Of course I do! It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I had a daughter." He smiled at her. "But I also remembered you both wearing rings…what happened?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. "That's not the point. The point is that, by wanting to have a family with my wife, we've destroyed the family's reputation."

"How so? I think you're building on it."

Mikoto turned to her husband. "But this girl—Sakura—she's having our Sasuke-kun's child, and—"

"Can I have a say in something?" Sakura asked, breaking the tension for a second. She smiled at Mikoto, but Sasuke's heart sank, and he felt that shit would go down.

"Mikoto-san, do you mind if we talk in the other room?"

Cautiously, Mikoto agreed, following Sakura into a more private room while the two men were left in the living room.

"She's a good woman," Fugaku noted. "I'm glad you chose her to be your wife."

"Yeah."

Sasuke sat back down on the couch, drinking his hot tea and scalding his tongue, but he could only think of what was going to happen between the two women.

.

.

.

"I don't want any trouble, Mikoto-san," Sakura said. "I know that you might not like me, and you still might even refuse to accept me as your daughter and Sasuke's wife, but I just want to explain things to you."

"Then explain them." Mikoto's tone wasn't unfriendly, but it was more of a down-to-business tone.

"We married in May, five years ago. It was at a small villa near Konoha, and you had a light blue dress and you were telling me how proud of Sasuke you were to finally get married."

"I don't—"

Sakura held up a finger. "Let me finish. You helped me do my hair and my makeup and put on my dress, then gave me a kiss and told me how proud you were of _me _to be taking care of Sasuke and that you wouldn't have chosen anyone else."

Mikoto was silent.

"I'm going to say that you were a little _upset _that your son wasn't going to be a big part of your life anymore, and instead would be part of another woman's life."

Sakura saw Mikoto's lip start to quiver.

"So you tried to block out that memory and refused to accept me as your daughter, partly because you hated the fact that I took your son away from you. Is that right?"

Sakura's voice was gentle as she addressed Mikoto, and Mikoto began to wail, holding Sakura's hands in her own.

"I'm so sorry," she cried. "I didn't mean—I just missed my son; he took better care of me than Itachi did, and I know you're a good girl and that he loves you, but I just couldn't—"

Mikoto stopped speaking when Sakura put her arms around her. "It's okay," she said. "I understand. But," she said, pulling away from Mikoto. "You don't actually dislike me, do you?"

"Heavens, no!" Mikoto exclaimed through tears. "I wanted so badly to dislike you, but you were just the sweetest girl that I'd ever met that I couldn't hate you."

"I like you, too. But how did you manage to keep up this façade for five years?"

Sniffing, Mikoto wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and smiled. "I'm a good actress."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Of course." She took Mikoto's hand and helped her up.

"Let's go back out and get you some tea."

.

.

.

"I can't believe my own mother would do that to you, just because she wanted to keep me at her side like one of her Prada bags," Sasuke muttered as he drove home, Sakura resting quietly in the passenger's seat.

"It's understandable," she said. "I mean, I wouldn't do that, but I can see why she would do it."

"You're too perfect and good for me," he muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Sakura to hear. He rolled the car up to a red light.

Sakura leaned over and kissed his cheek, his hands still gripping the steering wheel. Although he knew that the light would turn green soon, he unbuckled her seatbelt and dragged her over to him, kissing her deeply, his tongue tracing the roof of her mouth.

"Hey, jackass! The light's green!" someone called from behind them.

Sakura quickly straightened herself up while Sasuke smirked, driving smoothly through the traffic.

"Let's go home," Sakura said, taking Sasuke's hand in her own. She squeezed it once, giving him a smile, and he brought her hand up to his lips.

"There's nowhere else I'd like to be."

.

**six months later**

.

Sasuke was panicking. He didn't know what to do. Sakura was going into labor and trying to push the baby out, and Sasuke was holding onto her hand and toweling the sweat off her forehead and trying to soothe her painful cries.

"Shh," he said. "It'll be okay. Just give it another go, Sakura. You can do it."

Soon, Mikoto rushed into the labor room, Fugaku right behind her. "I got here as soon as I could," Mikoto panted. "They wouldn't let me in, but I—Sakura-chan!" She immediately went over to Sakura's side and held her other hand.

"Come on, Sakura. You got this. If you can handle standing up to me, by Kami, you can sure as hell stand giving us a beautiful baby."

"He's almost there, Sakura-san," the nurses said. "Give us one good push—"

"Ah!" Sakura felt the baby come out, and the nurses held him in their arms, cleaning him up. Sasuke let go of Sakura's hand and kissed her forehead, telling her how proud of her he was, and Mikoto squealed in glee, excited to have a new grandson.

"What will you name him?" they asked.

Sakura looked at Sasuke, who looked back at her. Sasuke's eyes told her to choose any name she wanted. After all, she was the one carrying the baby for nine months.

"…Sasuke."

"Yes?"

"No, I mean the baby. I want to name him after his father, who's brought me so much joy over the years. I'm sure he will do the same."

"Sasuke," Mikoto repeated. "Yes. I think that will be good."

Sakura looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. He smirked down at her. "I love you," he said, tucking a lock of damp hair behind her ear. "More than anything."

"Thank you," she responded. She noted that he was wearing his ring again, and when he saw her eyes trail to his fingers, he reached for hers in his pocket and slid it on.

"Now that it fits again," he said.

Mikoto smiled. "We're proud to have you as our daughter, Sakura-chan."

Sakura smiled, exhausted, and ready to go to sleep before—

"And as a new grandmother, I've always wanted at least seven grandchildren."

Sasuke gave Sakura a sly smirk and said to his mother, "I don't think that'll be a problem. Will it, Sakura?"

Sakura groaned.

* * *

**I pick on Mikoto too much but I love her omg.  
**

**Also I wasn't too proud of this blahhhhhhh I just went too ridiculous with it**

**REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS**


	70. Rawr

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble seventy. sakura's pov.  
******FML o70:** Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, my friends found out that when Sasuke was in pre-K, I was in 8th grade. My new name from them is "cougar." It hurts. FML.

* * *

**.o70.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**R**_a_w**r**

_._

"Your birthday's coming up soon," Sasuke mused as he buried his face in my neck, kissing it tenderly. I squirmed in his grasp and rolled on my other side to face him.

"Don't remind me," I said, holding up a hand between us.

"Why not?" Sasuke said. His fingers ran up and down my ribcage. "Birthdays are supposed to be a happy celebration."

I frowned. "You know I'm already insecure about my age. I don't need anyone to remind me about it."

Sasuke kissed me, long and deep. "I don't care about how old you are. You'll always be young and vibrant and beautiful to me." The pad of his thumb flicked my nipple, and I felt it harden under his touch. He smirked.

"Plus," he said, his lips trailing down to my breast. "Your body is still a hot twenty-one year old and has been when I first met you, five yea—"

"Stop." I clamped my hand over his mouth. "We get it. I'm thirty-two. You're twenty-three. And yet you're here with me when you could have any—"

His mouth was on my stomach now. "I just want you," he murmured against my skin. "And I want another kid with you."

"You're just a kid yourself, though."

I felt him smirk against my bellybutton before his cheek pressed against my inner thigh.

"Can a kid do this?"

What happened next was mostly a blur. All I knew was that no, a kid could _not _do that, and I'd probably be arrested if a kid tried that on me.

.

.

.

"So, Sakura," Karin said as she painted her toenails, her cell phone on speaker. "Someone's got a big event coming up! How's it feel to be one year older?"

"Terrible," I sighed. "I hate people referencing my age. I'm already insecure about it, and pointing it out just makes me feel worse."

I heard Karin place the bottle down and take the phone back into her hands. "Well, sorry to hear that, Sakura. But at least your husband still loves you. Suigetsu doesn't pay attention to me at all. Says I'm getting old and that I've got _crows' feet_." She growled. "I'll show him who's got crows' feet."

"That's the problem, though, Karin," Isighed.

"What? Me having crows' feet?"

"No, not that. Sasuke loves me. I'm sure of it right now. But when I'm older and less attractive, he's going to leave me and find someone else who's his age and still young and vibrant and—"

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. How old is Sasuke?" Karin asked.

"He's twenty-three, but I don't see how that's—"

I heard a seductive growl on the end of her line. "Wow, Sakura. You snagged yourself a good one. Twenty-three, huh? I bet his butt is as firm and hard as—"

"Karin, stop. We're going off track."

"So you're going to be ten years older than him? That's pretty hot," she said. "Well, you know, in those certain cases where it's okay for a younger woman to be with an older man, but if it's vice versa that means the broad is loaded and, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "That makes me feel _so _much better."

"Don't worry about it, Sak. He loves you. That's all that matters. If he doesn't push you about your age, I don't see why you should, either."

That was pretty sound advice. "Thanks, Karin."

"You're welcome. Now, in all honesty, do you think I have crows' feet?"

.

.

.

Sasuke was out at the bar with Naruto and some of his other friends (whom he was sometimes ashamed to call "friends"), ordering shots and pouring them down his throat, feeling the nice burn against his skin.

"So," Naruto said. "Your lady-friend's having a birthday!"

"How'd you know?" Sasuke muttered, his head a little dizzy from the drinks.

"I got an invitation from her friends! Apparently they're throwing a surprise party, but we're not allowed to let Sakura-chan know."

Sasuke growled. "Don't call her that."

"What? Sakura-chan? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Protective. While I'm out having the time of my life and banging twelve chicks at once, you're stuck at home with some old hag who—hey, hey! I was just kidding! …What are you doing that flaming shot? _Sasuke_?!"

And then, while at the emergency room, Sasuke thought that maybe he was a little too harsh on Naruto, but he refused to have anybody, even his friends, talk about Sakura in such derogatory terms. Yes, it was true that he had spent most of his young adult life with Sakura, but he wouldn't have traded that for anything in the world, because she was the one whom he loved and wanted to be with.

Sasuke knew that Sakura already felt bad about her age, but he thought that maybe a surprise party was the way for Sakura to feel good about herself.

"Dobe," Sasuke said, standing over the cot where Naruto was lying. Naruto squinted his eyes and frowned.

"Teme."

"Who's setting up the party? I want to talk to them."

Naruto folded his arms and turned his head away childishly. "None of your _beeswax_, that's who."

"Stop it. Now really, who?"

"Karin and some of her girlfriends. I don't know. We just got the invites."

That was reason enough. Although Sasuke had never gotten along with Karin ever since she tried to seduce him without knowing that he was Sakura's boyfriend at the time, he knew that he had to talk to her.

.

.

.

"Mm. Tight ass," Karin said, licking her lips.

"…Excuse me?" Sasuke asked, feeling a bit awkward as Karin's eyes trailed down to his groin and then to his abs.

"Oh. Sorry. So hey, Sasuke. What's up?"

"You're planning a party for Sakura, right?"

"Yes sir." Karin smirked to herself again. "Or maybe I should call you _sailor _and see how cute you look in one of those tight suits."

"Not helping. Anyway, I want to be part of the planning."

"Why?" Karin asked. "Parties were never your thing. You and Sakura just liked to stay at home and 'watch movies.'" Karin put the last part in air quotations while giving a sly smirk.

Sasuke was a bit annoyed, although he knew that she wasn't making a move on him on purpose, and he respected that. "She's not feeling too good about herself and I want to cheer her up."

"Oh, she's just bitter because she's older than you. Hey, I did some calculations, and you know what? When you were in pre-K, she was in _8th grade_. Isn't that hilarious? Well, not really, since that's kind of pedophile-ish if you really think about it, but still, isn't that funny?" Karin gave a chortle and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"_Still _not helping."

Karin stopped laughing. "Okay. Fine. You can help plan the party. But you mustn't tell Sakura about this or it'll spoil the fun." She jabbed her finger into Sasuke's chest and couldn't help but notice how solid it was. "Man, I wish Suigetsu was as fit as you."

"I think I've been sexually gawked at too many times today. Anyway, thanks, Karin."

"You're welcome, Sasuke. Oh, and Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

Karin gave another one of her seductive purrs and said, "Tell Sakura she's one foxy cougar."

.

.

.

"Hey," I said, turning off the stove as Sasuke walked in. He looked tired. There were bags under his eyes, although it had only been a couple hours. "You look beat." I helped lead him to the sofa, and he pulled me down with him.

"Sasuke-kun," I said. "I've got to take care of the food."

"Not now." He slid the strap off my apron. "You look so sexy in this. You should just wear the apron, and nothing else." He smirked, his voice hoarse and deep.

I immediately felt my nipples perk up and my pussy become wet. "Well, if you insist…"

I rolled down my straps and removed my shirt and bra.

"More," he said, motioning to my skirt.

Teasingly, I began to slid it off past my knees, leaving me naked in front of him.

"Back on," he said, nodding to the apron. "Let me help you tie it."

"I've got it. Hands off, mister," I said seductively, watching as he gulped, his Adam's apple throbbing. There was a large bulge in his pants, and I felt young and good about myself knowing that _I _made that happen.

I put my arms under my breasts to plump them, and Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed me, unzipping his jeans and fondling my breasts through the thin sheet of clothing. I was pressed up against the wall, my hands trying to steady us both as he pounded into me from behind, his fingers pinching and teasing my nipples as his cock plunged deep into my pussy.

"Shit, Sakura," he moaned as his hand moved down to squeeze my ass. "You feel so good."

With every thrust, my breasts hit the wall, and I cried out every time he touched me and went deep into me.

"Speed it up," I begged. "Please. I'm so horny."

"You want more, you naughty girl?" he teased. He increased his tempo, and I felt my voice give as my lungs couldn't take any more. "Tell me what you want."

"I want…" I began. I couldn't find the words amidst the sex.

"Yes? What do you want?" He pulled out a little bit before entering me again. I knew that he was teasing me, and I didn't like it. Not one bit.

"I want you," I cried. "I want you to fuck me!"

"Thatta girl."

His cock hit me so hard that I couldn't hold on anymore, and I began to slide down to the floor. He emptied himself inside me, and, as we were catching our breaths, he took me into his arms and kissed my forehead sweetly.

"You're a good girl," he murmured, pushing sweaty locks of hair away from my face. "I love you." His eyes then traveled to my breasts, which had fallen out of the apron. "And your tits."

I tried to slap him playfully, but he caught my hand and kissed my fingers, his lips resting on the platinum ring he gave me on our wedding day. His dark, smoldering eyes lit up as he smirked at me, and I immediately felt myself become wet again.

"If I had known that kissing your ring would make you so horny, I would have bought you a million rings." He took me into his arms and led me to the bedroom. "I hope you're not too tuckered out."

"Just because I'm an old lady doesn't mean—aah," I moaned as he took my breast in his mouth.

Instead, I forgot everything and just let myself relax under his touch.

.

.

The sound of the alarm clock woke me up.

_Fuck_.

I turned over on my side to see if Sasuke was there, but the bed was empty. I looked at my cell phone to see exactly what time it was, and noticed the date that was plastered onto the screen in big, mocking letters.

_March 28_.

It was nine a.m., yet Karin had already called me seven times in the last three hours. Groggily, I dialed her back, thinking she was probably prank calling me or something.

"Sakura!" Karin screeched through the phone. "Happy fucking birthday!"

"Mm," I groaned. "Thanks, Karin."

"Get your lazy, fat ass up from Sasuke's arms and meet me over at my place ASAP! And if you're late and you smell like sex, I'll cut off Sasuke's penis and feed it to a bunch of horny sorority girls."

I growled. "I'm getting up, bitch."

I heard Karin laugh on the other end of the phone. "Love you, babe. Happy birthday!"

Karin ended the call on her line and I put the phone back down. Another day, another year older. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and prayed that I didn't have any signs of aging, although the rumors that semen helps moisturize your face was not true _at all_.

Of course, _I wouldn't know_. I haven't _tried it_.

I styled my hair just for the occasion to see if it would frame my face well, and then I chose a semi-formal dress with these gorgeous red flats.

Look out, world.

Middle-aged woman going through a mid-life crisis is walking down the street.

.

.

.

"It's _9:15 _and she hasn't come yet!" Karin whined. Sasuke frowned.

"You called her _fifteen minutes ago_. It takes her a long time to get dressed," he added, trying to defend his wife.

"It only takes her that long because you two just end up having sex most of the time. I was her roommate in college. It took her three minutes tops to have an outfit on." Karin stamped her foot impatiently as everyone was tired of waiting behind various pieces of furniture.

"Karin," Suigetsu whined. "Can I come out now? My knees really hurt."

Karin snapped at her husband. "You stay there, or you're not getting any tonight!"

Several snickers echoed throughout the room as Suigetsu sighed, hiding back behind the wardrobe.

Soon, Karin heard footsteps approach. She shoved Sasuke towards the door as she went back behind the wardrobe to hide with Suigetsu.

"Stay there," Karin whispered harshly. "And once she opens the door, she'll ask why you're in my house. Don't say something stupid like you're cheating on her with me, because then I'll clock you in the jaw. Just—"

"Karin, shut up," Sasuke said. "I've got this."

He turned off the lights and stood in the middle of the room, waiting for me to come in.

"Hello? Karin?" I asked, banging on the door. "Is anyone in there?"

Sasuke opened the door.

"Sasuke-kun!" I said brightly, obviously surprised to see him in my best friend's house. I looked around and wondered why the room was so dark. "Um, what are you doing?"

Sasuke immediately felt tongue-tied and didn't know what to say, so he just said the first thing that came to his mind.

"I'm performing a Satanic ritual and need your blood."

"Oh." I was a little uncomfortable. "Um. Okay."

"You idiot!" Karin said, walking out from behind the wardrobe with her shirt hiked up to her breasts. "So, uh, happy birthday, Sakura!"

I was squeezed in a huge bear hug with Karin's chest against mine, and it was pretty awkward, to say the least, although I'm sure that Suigetsu enjoyed it plenty.

"Surprise!" everyone else joined in. I felt tears come to my eyes.

"Aw, guys," I said. "You're too sweet."

"Hey, hey, Sakura," Sai, one of Sasuke's friends, asked. "Is it true that you were already in 8th grade when Sasuke was in daycare? That's pretty hilarious! You're such a cougar," he smirked. Sai patted Sasuke on the back. "Good choice, man. _Rawr_."

My happiness and surprise began to plummet downhill once more and more people kept coming up to me and congratulating me on being old, asking if it was really true that I was a pedophile in 8th grade since my husband is so young and sexy and attractive and calling me a cougar and a foxy lady and—

"Sakura? You alright?" Karin asked, watching my eyes water up.

I didn't know what came over me. I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door, hearing the confused chatters of the party members.

"Sakura," Sasuke said, knocking politely. "Let me in."

"No," I cried. "Go hang out and dance with some other girls your age. I'm too old and worn out to be sexually appealing."

"Sakura," Sasuke warned. "If you don't let me in, I'm going to break down this door."

"Then do it! It's not our door anyway," I threatened.

I wasn't expecting him to actually break it down, which he did with one clean kick. He saw me sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hair amuck and makeup running down my face.

"Hey," Sasuke said, taking me into his arms. "Don't cry." He wiped my stray makeup away with his fingers. "You look old when you cry," he half-joked. "And plus, it's your birthday. No one should be upset on her birthday."

"How did I ever end up with someone like you?" I asked, noting how strong and sharp his features were and how beautiful he really was. "I'm lucky and unfortunate at the same time."

Sasuke kissed my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin. "Sakura," he murmured. "I have never cared about your age, nor mine. The disparity between our ages does not matter to me. What matters is that I love you, and no matter what anybody says about either of us, you being a cougar or me being a trophy husband—"

I pulled apart from him. "Have people actually called you that?"

"Many times." His lips pressed against my nose. "But many of my friends have also referred to you as a MILF."

I blushed. "Who—"

"I don't want to say it. Although you can tell that I was incredibly jealous." His hand rested on the small of my back.

"But—how can I be a MILF if I don't have any kids?"

Sasuke smirked. "We can always fix that. But for right now, I want you to get out there and enjoy your party. And then, when we get home, I've got a special surprise waiting for you. But you've got to be a good girl. No more being upset about your age. I want you to get out there, drink so much you throw up, dance on a table, and kiss me in front of everyone."

Fuck, he definitely knew how to make me feel good.

"Okay," I said, wiping my eyes. "I love you, Sasuke-kun."

His lips moved down my nose to meet my mouth. "I know. And I'll still love you, even when you'll go through menopause."

I slapped him, and he chuckled deeply.

"Get out there. They're probably thinking we're having bathroom sex. Which isn't that bad of an idea, if you think about it."

I pushed Sasuke aside and went out into the party. "I'm waiting for my surprise at home," I added. "So we're going to leave early."

.

.

.

I was still showered with comments like _cougar_, _foxy lady_, and other sorts of slang that involved furry animals, but I tried not to let that bother me. Sasuke loved me; that I knew. So I didn't really care too much at the time.

Sasuke had left the party early to set up my surprise at home, and I was bursting with excitement. I couldn't want to see what he had planned for me, so when I walked into our home and saw that everything was the same, I was pretty disappointed.

"Sasuke-kun?" I called out. "Where are you? I swear to Kami, if you're dressed up in a cougar costume I will rip your throat."

No answer.

"Sasuke-kun?"

I opened the door to the bedroom to see rose petals scattered onto the bed. Sasuke had always told me that was lame, and he would die rather than be caught doing something like that, even for me.

I felt Sasuke's arms snake up behind me, his head resting on my shoulder.

"Who are you, and what have you done with the real Sasuke?" I asked.

"They aren't roses," he murmured in my ear. "They're carnations. I'd never put roses."

"And you set up my favorite movie?" I asked, watching how the TV shone with the main screen of _The Graduate_, which was ironically about an older woman and a younger man.

"I'll watch it with you, just for today," he said. "But just this once, for my queen on her birthday."

"Actually," I said, turning myself around in his arms and putting my hand to his chest. "I'd like to do something else first, if you wouldn't mind." My eyes darted towards the bed and back at him. He smirked.

"I'd like that very much." He carried me over to the mattress, where I felt carnation petals tangle up in my hair. He straddled me, leaning down on his forearms to look me in the eye.

"Happy birthday, Sakura, you sexy animal."

* * *

**AHAHAH a month without updating. LOL. I've just been so busy with summerwork and stuff and Stories of Us (review? hehe) and I JUST CAN'T ANYMORE.**

**And yes, I realize that Rawr was also the name of my fic I wrote a couple years back that I never want to touch or look at ever again. It was also pretty different to try older woman/younger man (which I'm not so crazy about unlike the opposite)**

**No but in all seriousness, thank you all for being so patient with me and reviewing. Please please PLEASE review! It'll mean the world to me and I'll try to update quicker.**

**I can't believe that we're 7/10s of the way done! It's been fun seeing how much my writing has changed and your awesome reviews. I love you all.**


	71. Damn Autocorrect

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble seventy-one. sasuke's pov.  
******FML o71:** Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, Sakura texted me that we should "move in." Needless to say, I was elated until seconds later she texted, "Sorry, I meant move ON." FML.

* * *

**.o71.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**D**_a_m**n **_A_u**t**_o_c**o**_r_r**e**_c_t

_._

Technology has definitely improved over the years. What used to be big, bulky telephones are now small touch screens you can fit in your pocket.

Unfortunately for me, they seem to do more harm than good.

I flipped through several applications on my phone, stopping to check out my picture gallery: most of the pictures were of me and Sakura, either hugging, laughing, kissing, and other mushy-gushy stuff. I scrolled down even further and stopped to observe the more explicit pictures she had sexted me.

Some were playful and teasing; others were simply seductive and sexy and had no trace of childlike innocence in them at all. I gulped, feeling blood rush to my groin, and tried to hide it by crossing my legs and pulling my shirt over.

In some pictures, she was wearing nothing but skimpy, lacy lingerie and heels. Other times she would dress up in cute but revealing outfits, like a schoolgirl or a nurse or whatever she felt like. The rest of the time, she would be fully naked for me to enjoy, along with a naughty caption.

_Enjoy ;)_

My cock felt like it was ready to burst through my pants at any time, and I immediately put the phone down on the table and rushed to the bathroom, where I turned on the shower and set the water heat to cold. Stripping off quickly, I jumped in, feeling ice droplets hail on my skin. But thankfully, I felt better, and I was flaccid for the most part.

After toweling myself off, I put my clothes back on and checked my phone again.

_One new text message_

I opened it. It was from Sakura, asking me what I wanted to eat for dinner. Just as I was about to reply, she sent me a picture of herself dressed in a bright red bra and panty set, licking her fingers seductively.

_Hope you can come over and I'll make you something yummy._

Immediately, the effects of the cold shower began to wear off, and I shut off my phone, ready to pack my things and head over to Sakura's.

.

.

.

Honestly, I half-expected her to jump up on me half-naked when I arrived, but she was sitting in front of the TV while on her phone, wearing a T-shirt that wasn't even see-through and jeans.

I was a bit disappointed.

"Sakura," I said, walking over towards her.

Her eyes brightened up, and she patted the seat next to her. "Sasuke-kun! Come here and sit."

I made my way over to her, resting my face in her shoulder and taking a deep breath of her scent. I noticed that she was playing an iPhone game and I leaned over to see what she was playing.

"Not now," she said. "Give me a second. I'm about to beat my record."

I ignored her, resting my hand on her stomach. She moaned a bit as I tickled her softly and pushed me away.

"Almost there," she growled. "Don't bother me!"

I smirked, my fingers trailing up higher and resting on her rib cage. I could feel the individual ripples on her skin and ran my fingers over them.

"Sasuke-kun!" she whined. "I can't pause this!"

"I want something yummy from you," I murmured through her skin. "You promised."

My fingers trailed up even higher and I noticed that she wasn't wearing the red bra. Or any bra to be exact.

Perfect.

I pinched her nipple and watched her mouth open in a soft moan. Her hands became shaky and a large _YOU LOSE _echoed on the screen.

"Sasuke-kun," she cried out. "You made me lose."

My lips found her ear. "It's okay," I said. "You have other chances to beat it. Right now, it's just us." I pushed her down onto the sofa and lifted up her shirt to reveal two very plump breasts, waiting for them to be sucked.

"You're not wearing anything underneath," I noted, staring at her chest while my hand also traveled down into her pants, unhindered by panties.

Sakura blushed. "I know."

Realization hit me. She wanted to be bare underneath for me. And I loved that.

"Kiss me," I ordered, stopping my hands from moving. She was a bit surprised at my harshness and command, but took my face in her hands and pressed her lips to mine gently in a sweet, slow kiss.

Sakura wrapped her legs around me and I was about to shrug my pants off when the familiar melody of her ringtone played.

"Ignore it," I said. "Right now, it's just us."

"But what if it's import—"

I silenced her with another kiss. "Nothing's as important as the two of us being together."

It took less than a second for her to kick off her pants and for me to plunge into her wet warmth, but it was much longer for the rest of our lovemaking.

If only her phone hadn't vibrated consistently throughout the whole time, things would have been much better.

.

.

.

"Real dinner, Sasuke-kun," Sakura sighed as I smirked, watching her cook while she moved that sweet ass of hers. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Anything you make is great," I said. "I want it all."

Sakura sighed. "You're so indecisive. Fine. I'll make some fish. How about that?"

"Sure."

As she cooked, I began to look through her phone. There were no secrets between us: we'd already established that early in the relationship and she was free to look through my stuff and I hers.

Most of her texts were back and forth from me to her, but occasionally she would text her girlfriends about some plans they had for the day or her parents or some other guy that she was acquaintances with, but otherwise there was nothing incriminating. I decided to view her applications and see what game she was so caught up on.

Sakura brought over the freshly cooked dishes, but I shook my head and held up her phone in her face. "Temple Run? Sakura, you know there's a cheat to that."

"I don't cheat," she said. "Not in games or my relationship. Now eat. It's going to get cold." She kissed me and handed me some chopsticks, eagerly shouting "Itadakimasu!" before digging in.

I watched her eat happily, her head bobbing to the side occasionally while she smiled, checking the latest updates on her phone. I leaned over and wiped extra sauce off her cheek with my lips, grateful that I had somebody as good as her to love.

I rested my chin on her shoulder. "You're reading Cosmo sex tips?"

Sakura blushed.

.

.

.

Days passed with barely any communication, and then weeks. I had texted and called her several times, but she would rarely respond. I knew she was away, but she would always make time to talk to me. Something was wrong.

And here's where the bad part starts.

After many days without hearing from Sakura—whether it be a sexy photo or even just a simple text—I heard my phone beep and went to get it.

_One new text message_

It was from Sakura. I quickly scanned over the words.

_I think we should move in._

I couldn't believe what I was reading. I was so happy right now; I really couldn't describe the pleasure and joy I felt. Sakura wanted to take our relationship to the next level, and I was prepared for that. I quickly began to type back a message when my phone beeped again.

_Oops, sorry about that. I mean move ON._

And just like that, my happiness shattered. I immediately called her, hoping to see what she meant, but she refused to pick up the phone. I sent several texts, none of which she responded. I even had a right mind to go over there and bang on the door until she opened up, but she wasn't at home, so it would be no use.

I sat down on the floor and thought deeply about what she meant. I understand that we hadn't contacted each other in a long time, but it was just as much her fault as mine. I ran over my thoughts to see what could have made her want to end our long, seemingly happy relationship. Was she tired of it? Of me? Did she not want sex anymore? Or was she seeing someone else?

All these ideas ran through my mind, and I didn't want to think of any other reason anymore. She had told me that she'd be back in a week, and all I could do was wait for her until she got back so that I could confront her about this.

Because I was _not_ going to let her go without a reason.

.

**one week later**

.

It was as if Sakura had vanished from the center of the universe. There were no more Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, or any other social media updates. When I asked her friends, they said that they hadn't heard from her since the day she texted me, and I immediately felt that something was wrong.

Sakura was _obsessed _with her phone, and it wasn't like her to just forget everything and live a peaceful, technology-less life.

Thankfully, though, it was the day that she was coming back, and I waited at her doorstep with a bouquet of flowers in my hand like a loveless puppy, sans the flowers and the hand.

And when I saw that familiar burst of pink rush through the air, I got up, waiting for her. I wasn't sure whether to be happy that she wasn't dead or angry because she hadn't responded to anybody during her vacation.

She seemed surprised to see me.

"Sasuke-kun!" she said. "What are you doing here?" she opened her arms for a hug, but I pushed her away. That basically defeated the whole point of me getting flowers in the first place.

"I had to see you," I said. It sounded more romantic than it should have been, but it was the truth.

"Why? Were you feeling frisky or something?" she giggled.

"This is serious, Sakura. We have to talk." I let her open the door and get her stuff in before we sat down and held up a conversation like adults.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I saw the straps of her sundress fall and the nice tan lines that formed on her shoulders and gulped. I wouldn't let myself succumb to her beauty and charms, so I looked over her head.

I opened my phone and showed her the text she sent men. "What do you mean by this, Sakura?" my voice was serious and oozing contempt, and I refused to be let go through a text. "Moving on? Is that what you want? Are you so dissatisfied with our relationship that you had to break up with me through a text?"

She peered in, looking at the screen and squinting. "Oh!"

Then for some reason, she began to laugh. I didn't understand what was so funny, and I found no humor in the situation.

"This isn't funny, Sakura," I growled, gripping her forearms, but apparently the way I acted made her laugh even harder.

"You don't understand, do you?" she giggled, trying to catch her breath. "Well, I suppose you'll want to break up with me after I tell you, but when I said move on, I meant move on in the relationship, as in, taking it to the next step. I still don't think we're quite ready to move _in_, but we can definitely further the physical and emotional connection between us."

I paused, taking it all in. My fingers felt like gelatin.

"Sakura," I said slowly. "Nobody says _move on_ without meaning that they're breaking up."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "You already know that I'm not the smartest kid around, and—"

She was interrupted when I embraced her into a tight hug. I breathed heavily, clutching her close to me. "Don't you _ever _scare me like that again, you hear?" I hoped that she couldn't feel my heart beating quickly in panic. "I won't forgive you if you leave me."

Sakura wrapped her arms around me and snuggled in my chest. "I won't," she said. "I promise."

Before I ravished her right on the spot, I asked, "Why didn't you respond to my phone calls or texts?"

Sakura frowned, pulling out her phone from her pocket. It was completely broken: the glass was cracked, the case did no good to protect the phone, and I'm pretty sure that if you shook it and listened closely, you could still hear water sloshing around in there.

"It's broken," she said. "I dropped it on the cliff and it landed on the shore. I tried to contact you, but none of the hotel staff would let me use their phones." She sighed. "I'm sorry I made you so worried."

I softened, watching how sincere she looked. "It's okay," I said. "Just don't do that to me next time."

"I won't." She kissed me. "Now, is this the part where you take me and dominate me and tell me that I'm yours forever?"

She knew me too well. I smirked.

"Of course it is."

.

.

.

Phone shopping with Sakura is painful. Buying a new phone itself wasn't bad, but the cases: holy shit. There are so many cases to choose from and Sakura is one of the most indecisive people I know, which made the whole day painful.

"Do you like this case, Sasuke-kun? What about this one?"

Eventually, it turned into a "yes, yes, yes…can we go home now?"

She would frown. "You're not even looking."

"Just pick one and let's go home," I sighed. As I sat down on the windowsill while Sakura was picking out more cases, I received a text message that had previously been unsent a couple weeks ago. Interested, I looked to see what it was and hoped it wasn't a virus or something like that.

_One new text message_

It was a picture of…Sakura. In a bikini. But the laces were undone and the top and bottom were about to fall off. However, she made sure that she accentuated her chest by barely covering up her breasts. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me, and I smirked, scrolling down to see the message attached.

_Wish you were here skinny dipping with me. Love you. ;)_

I looked back up at Sakura, who was still searching for cases to adorn her phone. And I figured that she deserved some more time to herself.

I saved the picture into my gallery and played its slideshow.

* * *

**Sorry that this was so short, guys! I know I'm updating once a month, but this school year will be super busy for me and I'll be lucky if I can even update once every two months or something. How sad.**

**Anyway, please REVIEW. Reviews make my life and will most likely help speed up the writing process, if you know what I mean ;)**

**And if you guys could answer a poll on my profile, I would be so happy. You rock!**


	72. Here, Kitty Kitty

**dedicated to: **rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)  
**prompt: **.  
**rating: **M  
**story: **drabble seventy-two. third person.  
******FML o72:** Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

**note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.**

**summary: **Today, after several months of begging, Sasuke bought Sakura a cat. However, that cat had gotten into the walls of the house, so they literally have to tear apart the building to get it out. FML.

* * *

**.o72.  
by  
SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
**

**H**_e_r**e**_,_ K**i**_t_t**y **_K_i**t**_t_y

_._

"I want to pet your sweet pussy," Sasuke murmured in Sakura's ear as his lips were on her jaw while his hand was trailing down to her womanhood.

Sakura immediately sat up and put Hoshi on her lap. "Here," she said, giving him the gray and white kitty. When Sasuke looked at her in confusion, Sakura continued, "You said you wanted to pet my sweet pussy. Here he is. Isn't he the cutest?" Sakura ruffled his fur, and he purred in pleasure as Sasuke frowned.

"That's not what I meant, Sakura," Sasuke said, taking the cat away from her. "I mean I wanted _you_." His hand trailed up and down her rib cage, stopping right below her breasts. "Capisce?"

"What?"

Sasuke sighed. "Never mind." He set Hoshi on the ground and pinned Sakura back onto the bed, straddling her. She looked up at him with sweet eyes—the kind that just made him want to lose control over all his senses—and he kissed her, enjoying the feel of her arms around his neck, her hands gripping his hair tightly.

"Mm," she moaned, opening her mouth so that he could stick his tongue in to meet hers. "I love you."

Sasuke pressed his body against hers so that she could feel his arousal, hard and warm just for her. He didn't have to say anything for her to know how he felt, and he understood that she knew from the way she wrapped her legs around his waist.

His fingers crept down to the band of her shorts, slipping through them to cup her womanhood. Sasuke gently stroked her familiar hairs before entering a long finger into her slickness, knowing how exactly to position himself so that she got the best out of it.

"Aa," Sakura cried. "More."

He could do that. Sasuke smirked through the kiss, inserting a second finger and watching her rock to his rhythm. Her nipples poked through the thin fabric of her bra and shirt, and he wanted nothing more than to take them into his mouth and suck them until they were hard as diamonds.

Sakura began to purr, and Sasuke almost came in his pants: it was a sound she had never emitted before, yet it was the sexiest thing he had ever heard.

"Do it again," he commanded.

"Do what?" Sakura asked, her voice weak from pleasure.

"Purr for me."

Sakura's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Purr?"

"Do that thing you just did."

Sakura sat there in silence as Sasuke's fingers were still inside her; however, they were motionless. Immediately, Sakura began to laugh.

"Oh!" Sakura said. "Sasuke-kun, that wasn't me." She pushed Sasuke off her and picked up Hoshi from the ground, who was begging to come back up into Sakura's arms. "It was little Hoshi. You're a good boy, aren't you, baby?" She kissed his forehead and he made that sexy purr again that now turned Sasuke off.

The cat glared at Sasuke through his lime green eyes, almost smirking, as if he knew that the only pussy Sasuke would ever touch while the cat was around was himself.

Hoshi purred again.

Sasuke growled.

.

.

.

It had been a week since they got the cat, and it was obvious to everyone whom Hoshi liked better. He followed Sakura around consistently, whether she was cooking, making love with Sasuke, or even in the bathroom. And yet, Sasuke noticed, she hadn't seemed to feel affected by it. In fact, she appreciated the company and would even interrupt lovemaking sessions just to pet the stupid cat.

Sasuke hated cats, but since Sakura had begged so sweetly for the longest time, the only thing he could really do for her was get her one.

Unfortunately, Sasuke started to regret it.

"That cat is nothing but trouble," Sasuke muttered as he watched Sakura pet him gently as he sat on her lap. Every time Sasuke was around, Hoshi made sure to purr loudly and smirk at Sasuke to show who the boss was and who had Sakura's undivided attention.

"You'll get used to it," Sakura said.

Sasuke faked a sneeze. "We should return him. I think I'm allergic."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Good try, Sasuke-kun. But I know you're not. You spent three hours in the shelter without so much as itchy eyes."

The cat snuggled his head between Sakura's breasts and made sure Sasuke took note of it.

"That's it," Sasuke said. "I'm taking the cat outside." He walked over and grabbed Hoshi from Sakura's arms to let him out of the house. "And don't come back until you've behaved yourself, you little son of a bitch."

As Sasuke closed the door, he swore he could still see the lime green tint of scheming eyes staring back at him.

"Now," Sasuke said, turning to face Sakura. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her deeply. "Let's go upstairs, uninterrupted."

.

.

.

After he had done his manly duty of making his fiancé cum twice in less than an hour while he, too, splooged all over her beautiful body, he rolled next to her, breathing heavily, and took her into his arms.

"That was good," Sasuke breathed. "We haven't had a time like that since the cat."

"That was a week ago," Sakura replied, cupping Sasuke's cheek. "Surely you can live without sex for a while."

"No," Sasuke said. "Man, when you mother my children, you'll never want to have sex, but I assure you: I'll make you feel good and I'll make you _crave it_." His hand brushed over her pert nipple. "I bet you."

Sakura blushed. "Stop it. We're still planning the wedding, yet you're already planning a family?"

Smirking, Sasuke drew her closer to him. "I have been ever since I met you." He sealed his words with a gentle kiss on the forehead, and Sakura wrapped her arms around his torso, starting to say something when a soft _purr _was emitted.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked.

"Hoshi!" Sakura said. She left the bed, still fully naked, and took the cat into her arms. Then, she jumped back on the bed and placed the cat in between her and Sasuke. "See, Sasuke-kun? It's like he's our baby already. Aren't you, Hoshi?"

There it was again. That sexy purr. Sasuke groaned, trying to hide his new arousal.

"You wanna sleep with us? Come here. Let mommy tuck you in."

"Sakura, don't keep the cat on the bed. He sheds," Sasuke said.

"It's fine," Sakura responded. "I'll clean it up." Sakura pressed her nose against the cat's. "Sasuke-kun said you make messes, but it's okay. Mommy will clean it up for you! Oh, you're a good kitty."

Sasuke inwardly snarled.

_That's one pussy I never want to be with again._

.

.

.

"Hoshi!" Sakura cried out. She turned to Sasuke, who was casually sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. "Sasuke-kun, have you seen Hoshi?"

"No, Sakura."

"He's gone and I can't find him!"

Sasuke saw tears begin to develop in Sakura's eyes, and he sighed, putting down his paper. "Sakura, relax. I'm sure he's still in the house. Have you checked under the bed?"

"I've checked everywhere, and yet there's no sign of him! I didn't leave any door open, so he couldn't have gone out."

"So that means he's in here then. Alright." He put his hands on Sakura's shoulders. "Calm down. We'll find him. Even if it means having to tear apart the house to look for him, I will help you."

Of course, Sasuke didn't really mean it. He hated the cat and was secretly happy that it was gone, but seeing Sakura in pain and sorrow was not worth it.

"Thanks, Sasuke-kun." She weakly pressed her lips against his cheek, and he felt the slight taste of her salty tears at the corner of her mouth.

"Where should we start?" Sasuke asked, wiping her tears away.

"Hoshi!" she called out.

As stupid as it was, Sasuke followed suit. "Hoshi!"

.

.

.

It had been several hours before Sakura decided to collapse to the ground and give up. "We're never going to find him," Sakura said, burying her face in her hands. "He's as good as dead."

"Hey," Sasuke said. "Don't say that."

"You hated him anyway. You should be happy."

Sasuke took Sakura into his arms. "Even if I didn't like him, I don't like seeing you in pain. Let's keep looking. Maybe we just haven't looked hard enough."

Suddenly, Sasuke's arousal popped up. With super hearing, he could hear a familiar, sexy purr from within the house.

"Sakura," Sasuke breathed out.

"I don't want sex right now," she said, looking at his erection and sighing. "I'm not in the mood."

"No, Sakura, it's not that. I can hear him. He's in the house."

"Where?" Sakura asked, immediately perking up. "Where is he?"

The purr started again.

"Sasuke-kun, don't tell me your penis is some kind of compass that'll lead us to him."

"It's not," Sasuke muttered, trying his best to hide his embarrassing hard-on. "But wait. Stop talking."

_Meow_.

The couple froze up, and they realized that _the cat was inside the walls_.

"How'd he get in there?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know—it's not like we have a hole or anything, do we?"

Sakura panicked. "Sasuke-kun, what if he's stuck in a pipe? What do we do? How do we get him out?"

As if on cue, the cat purred again in a different location than before to assure Sakura that he was alright and not stuck.

"Hoshi, come out!"

"Well," Sasuke began. "I don't want to have to say this, but there's really only one thing we _can _do."

"What's that?" Sakura asked. "Anything!"

Sasuke paused. "We have to tear the walls down."

.

.

.

"I don't think this is the best idea," Sakura said, holding a hammer in her hand. "I mean, can't we call someone?"

"It's more expensive. Plus, the cat might run away." Sasuke wielded his own hammer and practiced a couple of swings. "Now, the key is to make sure that we hit close to wear we hear the purring, but not exactly where it is; that could hurt the cat."

"You hear that, Hoshi? Mommy and daddy are coming for you!"

"Okay, so you stay on one side of the wall, and I'll stay on the other."

_"Meow!"_

"It's on my side," Sasuke said. He slammed the wall with brute force, the hammer taking away chunks of dry wall and wallpaper. He peered in to retrieve Hoshi, but the cat had run away due to the shock of the sudden hit.

"_Purr…_"

"Mine!" Sakura cried out, giving an Amazon-like war cry as she hit the wall. A large hole appeared, and she stuck her head in it, trying to reach her beloved cat, but it, too, ran away due to the sudden surprise.

"And the game of cat and mouse continues," Sasuke muttered, his ears perking up.

An array of hits swept down onto the house, breaking down pieces of wall and leaving the couple in a shower of dust and plaster. Yet Hoshi still hadn't come out: there was only the mocking purr that made Sakura upset and made Sasuke horny.

"I said I would tear down this building to find you," Sasuke said, beginning to swing wildly, "And I will. Because," he said. "I—" Swing. "Don't," Swing. "Want." Swing. "To see." Swing. "Sakura." Swing. _"In pain!_" Sasuke let out a final swing, effectively destroying most of the wall.

"Hoshi!" Sakura cried out, taking the cat into her arms. "Honey, you scared me!" The cat had walked out of one of the many holes and into Sakura's arms, purring seductively.

Sasuke dropped the hammer and walked over to Sakura. "So he's here now." He glared at the cat. "You caused us a lot of trouble and money," Sasuke growled, pointing to the destruction of the house. "But," he continued. "You also made Sakura very happy, so I'll let you slide this time."

The cat immediately jumped out of Sakura's arms and purred sweetly against Sasuke's leg, licking him gently.

"He likes you, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said.

_"Purr, purr…"_

Sakura noticed Sasuke's newly found arousal and giggled.

"And I think you like him, too!" she added.

Sasuke blushed.

.

.

.

"So we found the stupid cat, and he's happily asleep in his cage. There's about ten thousand dollars' worth of damage because of him, but you're happy, so I think I can just ignore it _for the time being_."

Sakura leaned over and kissed Sasuke. "You are the best man in the world, you know that?"

Sasuke smirked. "Oh, I know."

"And to show you how much I appreciate you…" Sakura began. She grinned—a Cheshire cat sort of grin—and started to take off her clothes.

"Sakura, what are you—"

"Shh," she began, leading him to the bedroom. "Don't talk. Just let me do all the work today."

Sasuke couldn't form a coherent sentence with Sakura's plump cleavage in front of his face, so he gulped and let her do her thing. She pushed him onto the mattress, straddling him, and she knew that he enjoyed being dominated by her.

"What are you going to do next?" Sasuke teased.

"Absolutely _everything_," Sakura said in a husky voice. She lifted Sasuke's shirt up above his nipples and began to lick his torso, her tongue tracing over the fine ripples of his abdomen and stopping at the V of his lower region.

"Keep going," Sasuke begged, his hands weaving through Sakura's silky hair. "Why did you stop?"

She gave him a smirk and began to undo his zipper with her teeth. Pulling his pants down, with him kicking them off his ankles, she fondled him through his boxers and felt his cock start to rise in her hands.

"Damnit, Sakura, I want you now."

"Wait," she said smoothly. "You have to be patient."

She took his large dick out and began to stroke it softly, her hand moving up and down his shaft while she watched his facial expression. He was in a half mix of pain and pleasure, wanting the teasing to stop but also wanting her to continue.

Sakura began to speed up her pace, her long fingernails grazing the sides. "You like that?"

"Yes," he gritted through his teeth.

"What if I do this?" she leaned down and took him in her mouth, tucking the stray locks of hair behind her ear.

Sasuke groaned, clutching the sheets in balled fists. The way her mouth moved while her tits were bouncing up and down on his leg made him crazy, and he lost control.

He came in her mouth.

Sakura knew this, and took him all in. She enjoyed the taste of him; she always had. Sasuke brought Sakura back to him so that her breasts were against his chest and he wiped the excess off, kissing her nose.

"I have more for you," she said. "Wait here. Don't move."

Sasuke did as he was told as he watched Sakura walk out. When she came back in, he gulped.

She was wearing a skimpy neko cat girl outfit, with cat ears and the tail and the whole shebang.

And best of all, she began to _purr_.

"I know how you thought Hoshi's purring was sexy," Sakura said, climbing on top of Sasuke. "And although that's a little creepy, I know you didn't mean it in that way. So I want to give you something to bark about."

"…That was lame," Sasuke muttered.

"I know." She kissed him. "But _meow_."

Sasuke immediately felt himself harden up again, and Sakura positioned herself on top of him, taking his hands and placing them over her barely covered breasts.

"Squeeze them," she ordered.

Sasuke did not hesitate as he felt Sakura's soft breasts in his hands while his dick was cradled by her slick warmth.

Instead of moaning as she usually did, Sakura let out soft purrs which made Sasuke want to love her even harder. He pounded into her with passion, squeezed her breasts rough enough to make her cry out, and told her how much he loved her with every thrust.

"Cum for me," he said.

And she did. She let herself spill all over him, and Sasuke pulled her down so that she lied on top of him.

"You're so incredibly sexy," he chuckled, brushing a hand through his damp hair. "How did I ever find someone like you?"

"Mm," Sakura moaned, resting her head on his sweaty torso. "The same way you found my kitty cat."

"I'd like to show your pussy how much it means to me," Sasuke said, adjusting himself so that he could spread apart her legs.

"Then kiss it," she said.

"With pleasure." He began to position his head between her thighs when Sakura stopped him, placing Hoshi on her lap.

"Where'd he come from?" Sasuke asked, a bit upset that he had been interrupted by the stupid cat again.

"He wanted to join us. Didn't you, sweetie?"

The cat meowed, before leaving Sakura's lap and making its way over to Sasuke's as it cuddled with him, obviously enjoying his new owner.

"He likes you, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said. "Aw. This is too cute. We should get another cat."

"Absolutely not," Sasuke said. But he looked down and slowly began to pet Hoshi's head. "We won't have time for another cat when we're raising a family."

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed, embarrassed by his words.

"But when the kids are out of the house, then we'll get you another one. Only this time, _I _get to choose it." He pressed her nose with Sakura's. "And you have to keep wearing that outfit."

Sakura sighed. "Okay," she said. "Just for you."

"Good. Now do that sexy purr that you did."

"…Sasuke-kun, that wasn't me."

Sasuke looked down at his lap to see that the cat was resting peacefully on his crotch, almost _winking _at him.

He wasn't sure if he liked that or not.

* * *

**Wow this is getting shorter and shorter.**

**School starts soon for me, guys, and that means less updating because this year is the BIG YEAR for me and the one that really counts, so academics first unfortunately =(**

**I WILL UPDATE FOR YOU ALL. I will update You Teach, I Learn very soon, so thank you so much for your support and reviews.**

**Please review this because I love you and I want to make sure you all love it as well ;) YOU ROCK**


End file.
